Copulators Die First
By Copulators Die First
Boo, we give Scream Queens a WHOLE new meaning!
Ash and Nick are life-long friends (and homosexuals) obsessed with horror movies and everything creepy/crazy/cool! Every other week they'll feature a new scary movie that will be examined from their gay perspectives while they read that film to filth! Nothing and no one is safe - especially those horny teenagers! On the off weeks, they'll bring you Paranormal Pansies - a rainbow-colored examination of the macabre and paranormal!
So - grab some popcorn, lock all your doors, and prepare to be entertained! Love, your big, gay uncles! (tongue pop)
Ash and Nick are life-long friends (and homosexuals) obsessed with horror movies and everything creepy/crazy/cool! Every other week they'll feature a new scary movie that will be examined from their gay perspectives while they read that film to filth! Nothing and no one is safe - especially those horny teenagers! On the off weeks, they'll bring you Paranormal Pansies - a rainbow-colored examination of the macabre and paranormal!
So - grab some popcorn, lock all your doors, and prepare to be entertained! Love, your big, gay uncles! (tongue pop)
Copulators Die FirstNov 09, 2020
00:00
57:10
68: PENIS EXPLOSION!? (The Mortuary Collection, 2019)
Nick and Ash are back to discuss not only the political status of America (ahhhh!!!), but a fun little diddy of an anthology movie which includes mystery octopus monsters, awkward spousal murder, red eyed, cremated demon children, and most importantly PENIS EXPLOSION!
Nov 09, 202057:10
67: Zoom Seance (Host, 2020)
We have a little tidbit of horror here for you where Ash and Nick review the first film shot during the COVID Pandemic.
Oct 19, 202023:35
66: Evil Home Owners Association (Spiral, 2019)
Ash and Nick are back! Finally! With Spooky Season already well underway, they catch up and dive into a new episode about a new Shudder Original for your hearing pleasure. (Not sponsored by Shudder, but hit us up BBs!)
Oct 12, 202059:39
65: Just A Bunch Of Massholes (Session 9, 2001)
The boo crew is back and discussing Session 9! Ash & Nick have an impromptu but completely necessary therapy session, they reminisce on life before the pandemic, and they wonder - truly wonder - if Chinese food is any good in the greater Massachusetts area. All this and more on this week's episode of CDF!
Aug 10, 202001:27:49
64: Space Hellraiser (Event Horizon, 1997)
The Ghouls are back discussing 1997's weird time in space - Event Horizon. It's like Hellraiser, but in space!
Jul 20, 202001:13:28
63: Backyard Bunghole (The Gate, 1987)
Nick and Ash are back with their first film in a long time! Be gentle, they're trying.
Jul 06, 202001:09:42
62: Just Checking In
Hi Pumpkins,
We're back with an update episode during these stressful times. No movie, just an important conversation.
We're back with an update episode during these stressful times. No movie, just an important conversation.
Jun 22, 202001:11:49
61: What is Even Reality? (Cabin Fever, 2002)
Nick and Ash have crawled out of their respective holes to take down Eli Roth's Cabin Fever.
Jun 01, 202057:11
60: The Black Plague
Welcome back to Paranormal Pansies! Is Coronavirus this generation’s Black Plague? Perhaps. Let’s discuss. Nick and Ash get down to the nitty-gritty-icky-sicky science and history of The Black Plague.
Apr 27, 202050:14
59: What Day Is It? (Tourist Trap, 1979)
Ash and Nick take a trip down “vintage highway” and address what they feel is arguably the original “gayest film ever made.”
Apr 20, 202001:23:12
58: Weird NJ
Hey Pumpkins,
Sorry for the short hiatus but things have been CRAZY over here at CDF. Big news: Paranormal Pansies is coming over to CDF as a permanent biweekly rainbow-colored paranormal fixture. This week, listen in to the latest Paranormal Pansies topic!
Sorry for the short hiatus but things have been CRAZY over here at CDF. Big news: Paranormal Pansies is coming over to CDF as a permanent biweekly rainbow-colored paranormal fixture. This week, listen in to the latest Paranormal Pansies topic!
Apr 06, 202001:00:19
57: The Witching Hour (Ft. Bree NicGarran)
In these unprecedented times, we have a very special guest episode for you! This week, we sit down with real-life Witch and all-around lovely human, Bree NicGarran! We tackle two of our favorite witchy films, The Craft (again!) and Practical Magic with tangents galore! We love our favorite Witchy Woman :)
Mar 23, 202001:01:26
56: Wendy's For Breakfast (Cabin In The Woods, 2011)
You requested it, and we listened! Nick and Ash take a stab at one of their all time favorite campfests!
Mar 09, 202001:35:35
55: A Real Judy Talk (Dolls, 1987) feat. Caleb from Horror Soup Podcast!
Caleb from Horror Soup Podcast is in the audio lab with us this week discussing his pick, Dolls! We’re talking about Judy and her night of toy terror with some good Judy’s! Judy’s talking Judy!
Feb 24, 202001:21:04
54: Human Pudding (Hellraiser, 1987)
Finally! A movie Ash really, really, REALLY hates! That’s all.
Feb 03, 202001:29:32
53: Death Drop Gorgeous! (Spookies, 1986)
For this VERY special episode of CDF, we hang out with our new best friends - the men behind the upcoming film Death Drop Gorgeous! We discuss their movie, all of the spooky gay things it will deliver (drag queens and death!), and then we all share our favorite things about a movie that was one of their inspirations, Spookies! We’re super excited about this one, pumpkins! And go follow @deathdropgorgeous on all the things!!!
Jan 20, 202001:37:30
What Is This Gay Shit?
OMG, Pumpkins! It’s the first official episode of Paranormal Pansies! Ash takes a dive into the history and inner workings of Ouija boards! Nick is scared of them. Find Paranormal Pansies on Instagram @paranormalpansiespod and on all podcast platforms!
Jan 13, 202001:07:15
52: Ham Good (The Exorcist, 1973)
HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY TO US, PUMPKINS! That’s right, it’s CDF’s 1 year pod-iversary, and we thought the only way to properly celebrate was to cover the other movie we discussed in our first episode - The Exorcist! It’s one of our all-time favorite spooks, and Ash’s number 1! We do some good old deep-diving, we go off on tangents, there’s a few good Judy talks, and we reflect and reminisce on our first year as podcasters. Welcome to CDF’s Exorcist Extravaganza, everyone! Thanks to all our listeners and supporters for a great year, and here’s to hoping 2020 is even better!
Jan 06, 202001:24:15
CDF 51: I Can Feel All My Pores (New Year’s Evil, 1980)
Happy New Year, Pumpkins! Let’s ring in 2020 with the last CDF episode of the decade! May we be able to leave husbands with no background checks, sub-par police work, harsh blush, and emotionally disturbed children with mommy issues in 2019!
Dec 30, 201941:18
CDF 50: Weird Christmas (Santa's Slay, 2005)
Christmas is here, Pumpkins! Welcome to the first ever Copulators Die First Christmas Episode! Naturally, things aren’t completely merry and bright...
Dec 23, 201933:41
CDF 49: Is That What We Just Watched? (Gingerdead Man, 2005)
Pumpkins, the title speaks for itself. This week was a real doozy of a film for Nick and Ash.
Dec 16, 201945:43
CDF 48: Something's Wrong With Nana (The Visit, 2015)
What else says “Holiday Cheer” like spending time with your estranged grandparents while your mom goes on a booze cruise? Let’s up the ante - Pop Pop has a dirty diaper collection and Nana might be possessed by little lake aliens? Oh, and let’s make it extra spicy - these aren't your grandparents at all! Tune in for a fun discussion and some very special announcements!!!
Dec 09, 201901:30:21
CDF 47: Consumerism & Lasers (Chopping Mall, 1986)
The holiday season is in full swing, and what better way could Ash and Nick (with special guest Sarah!) get in the spirit than discussing the horrors of Black Friday, on an episode that drops on Cyber Monday? Consumerism, man. What an ugly beast. Sarah requested we cover Chopping Mall, and this little ditty fits in perfectly with our it’s better to give than to receive story line! Malls in the 80’s - monuments to our greed. Only 3 robotic trash cans - the Killbots - can teach us a lesson!
Dec 02, 201901:16:40
CDF 46: Kill The Turkey (Thankskilling, 2009)
Join Nick and Ash for their first ever Thanksgiving special! Problematic film aside, dig in and enjoy the content!
Nov 25, 201955:17
CDF 45: Ring My Bell (The Autopsy of Jane Doe, 2016)
Nick and Ash cut right to the chase with this one. It’s a special night radio version of CDF, and they’ve got no time to waste and no shits to give. Who would you Boink, Marry, Kill if your choices are a 300 year old witch, a cat, or a boring old dude in a sweater?
Nov 18, 201948:12
CDF 44: Uncomfortable Film (Orphan, 2009)
The Gang is back in action after a small hiatus with all new thrills and chills to delight your spooky souls! So, um...Orphan. What an exercise in recognizing red flags. Nick and Ash explore what it means for a film to truly make you uncomfortable down to your very core, because, well, kids are downright creepy. Especially when they aren't actually kids at all...
Nov 11, 201901:16:44
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Hey, pumpkins! Nick here with a few spooky announcements on our high holy day of Halloween! Also, enjoy my self-indulgent antics! :)
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Oct 31, 201905:02
CDF 43: The Boogeyman (Halloween, 1978)
Pumpkins, Nick and Ash did it! For the finale of Homoween 2019, we finally do a full length episode dedicated to the film that started it all for horror fans everywhere - John Carpenter’s Halloween! Nick and Ash try something new as far as format, so stick with em, because good things are coming :)
Oct 28, 201901:02:55
CDF 42: Always Check Your Candy! (Trick 'r Treat, 2009)
On this third week of Homoween, Ash and Nick take a look at one of their absolute favorite movies of all time - horror or not! Nick does his best to give the performance of a lifetime as he dramatically reads the IMDB synopsis (with tangents and opinions inserted occasionally - duh). He's available for all types of voice over work - commercials, important announcements, Moviefone guy replacement, sassy GPS voice, etc.! In addition to that, we have a super special TREAT in store for you, pumpkins! Take a listen and find out what we have for you! No tricks! We promise!
Oct 21, 201901:39:03
CDF 41: Is She Dead? (Haunt, 2019)
It’s our first listeners choice episode! By a landslide, Nick and Ash are trying something different and reviewing a horror movie that’s brand new for this Homoween season! Listen in as your favorite hosts breakdown Eli Roth's newest scare-fest! It’s not great, but it’s good - which is a compliment for horror movies. With tangents galore, and an extra special surprise for Nick, this is NOT one to miss!
Oct 14, 201901:51:30
CDF 40: Hocum Pokem (Hocus Pocus, 1993)
To officially kick off the Homoween season, Nick and Ash take on the Disney classic Hocus Pocus! It may not technically be a horror movie, but it is definitely the ultimate suburban Halloween, crunchy leaves, which house gives out full candy bars, cozy Fall with chunky sweaters and apple cider movie. And this is definitely our podcast and not yours, and this movie is a house favorite so don’t come for us. So sit back and enjoy as this seasonal classic gets the CDF treatment!
Oct 07, 201902:09:51
CDF 39: Yabbos Everywhere (Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark, 1988)
Oh, hi! We’re just casually kicking off spooky season with one of our favorite spooky ladies! Listen in - because it’s just the beginning of our favorite time of year! We’re celebrating strong women, discussing the importance of Halloween candy, and anticipating all of the awesome spooks and boos to come for HOMOWEEN!
Sep 30, 201901:27:21
Boo-nus Episode 3! The Murder Of Jeannette DePalma and The Watcher House Mystery
Nick and Ash Join Toil And Trouble Podcast for a unique look at mysteries from their home town and surrounding areas. This one is going to be a scream! #spookygirlapproved
Sep 27, 201901:53:37
CDF 38: Fact Vs Film: The Mothman Prophecies (2002)
As we round home base on our Fact Vs Film series for September, we go a different direction with our horror obsession. We’re tackling our first urban legend and the movie inspired by the book, inspired by the legend! That bump in the night? Is there something - SOMEONE - tapping at your window in the dark? Is it the boogeyman or something else entirely? Something...not of this world, perhaps? Look for the red glowing eyes in the middle of the night in West Virginia. They have something to tell you.
Sep 23, 201901:11:44
CDF 37: Fact Vs Film: The Haunting In Connecticut (2009)
As we enter September, it’s back to school, pumpkins! Time to get our facts straight! All month long we’ll be taking a little fact-finding journey to discover how much liberty the film industry takes when movies are based on true events. This week we dissect The Haunting in Connecticut. 2009 was a magical time for film; but not in this case! Ash puts on their investigative lenses and dives into what kind of creative liberties were taken and what parts of real life were too...unsavory for this vanilla, conventional film. Come along as we recount the haunting...er...alleged haunting of the Snedeker family. Nick recaps the movie and maybe finally has a severe mental break? Only time will tell!
Sep 16, 201901:07:08
CDF 36: Fact Vs Film: The Conjuring (Ft Tori from Toil And Trouble Podcast)
As we enter September, it’s back to school, pumpkins! Time to get our facts straight! All month long we’ll be taking a little fact-finding journey to discover how much liberty the film industry takes when movies are based on true events. Tori from Toil and Trouble is back to help with the research! This week we’ll be comparing The Conjuring to the events that inspired it: the Perron family haunting, the legend of Bathsheba Sherman, and the accounts of Ed & Lorraine Warren. We’re excited! Are you excited!? You better be, nerds!
Sep 09, 201901:33:28
BOO-NUS EPISODE #2: Your Hosts with the Most
Conference time with Nick and Ash! Get to know your hosts just a little better with a quick (not really) Q&A!
Sep 06, 201951:41
CDF 35: 80's Demon Flashdance (The Evil Dead, 1981)
Campers, pack your bags because summer camp is officially over! With the bittersweet taste of charred marshmallows and awkward first kisses in our mouths, we say goodbye to this chapter; but not before reading from The Necronomicon with Ash (quite literally) and Nick! Listen here, children: reading is what!? Fundamental! Too bad Ash and his friends didn’t do much of that! On the bright side, what better way to celebrate the last week of camp than with one of the penultimate films regarding a good old fashioned weekend camping trip in the Tennessee woods with your friends where they all accidentally get possessed and then you kill them all? And well, every good story deserves a good segue, a twist or two, and gallons upon gallons of fake blood! So strap in, pay attention, and it'll all make sense in the end! Here’s to the inaugural season of Camp IDontWannaDie!
Sep 02, 201901:13:06
CDF 34: I'm A Power Ranger (Zombeavers, 2014)
Campers, we are nearing the end of the inaugural run of Camp IDontWannaDie! Sit back and relax as Ash and Nick bring you the detailed account of the comically awful, yet delightfully fun, 2014 film Zombeavers! Tangents aplenty, your head counselors (ahem...Nick) get a little carried away by the zombeaver fever! I mean, zom-bear-ver!? C’mon! Be sure to place your vote for the film we’ll be covering in the Camp IDontWannaDie finale, and stay tuned for what’s coming next! It’s almost the end of summer and all our spooky little hearts are quivering with autumn excitement!
Aug 26, 201901:13:11
CDF 33: Vignettes of Terror (Urban Legend, 1998 ft. David Nora Jr.)
Welcome back, pumpkins! This week author David Nora Jr. stops in to discuss his recently released book Slasher Crasher, while also helping Nick and Ash dissect fact from fiction - or LEGEND - in this week's film.
Aug 19, 201901:25:19
CDF 32: Manos: Hands Down (Manos: The Hands of Fate ft. Toil And Trouble Podcast)
Join Nick and Ash as they welcome Tori and Meagan from Toil and Trouble Podcast to the Counselor's bunk. Pumpkins, this week we are diving deep into possibly the worst film ever made, according to Ash, and well, everyone else that was forced to sit down and muscle through this as requested by Tori. Light's out campers, because it's after hours.
Aug 14, 201901:19:45
CDF 31: Specific Gay Reference (Plan 9 From Outer Space, 1959)
Stock footage. Poor editing. Cheesy dialogue. Over-the-top acting. More stock footage. UFO models on strings. Overtly gay character acting. Vampira. What do all these things have in common? They’re key components of the “best worst movie of all time,” Plan 9 from Outer Space! In this week’s installment of horror education at Camp IDontWannaDie your hosts with the most take a look at what could possibly be worse than a high school production of a student-written play called “Dracula meets the Space Aliens” or something. Oh, but wait there’s zombies too. Well, whatever. Nothing makes sense anyway. It’s quite a confusing hour and twenty minutes. But not in a bad way. Join Nick and Ash as they deep dive into Plan 9 trivia and traverse the rocky terrain of poor visual effects and set design that make this one a cult classic. Beware the onslaught of electrified alien macabre zombies! (Okay there's really only 3 zombies)
Aug 12, 201901:09:29
30: Kotton Kandy Meat Locker (Killer Klowns From Outer Space, 1988)
CDF is celebrating its 30th episode already!? We’re Thirty, flirty, and thriving as the kids say! After a brief hiatus, your favorite queers are back! We start with a catch-up sesh before hopping back on the bus to Camp IDontWannaDie. We’re getting personal - we’re talking loss, mental health, and striving to live our best lives. Then, we’re getting super campy! Killer Klowns From Outer Space is on the chopping block as we enter the big top and admit that these Klowns are far more charming than anyone else in this cult classic! Sorry not sorry, you’ll never look at cotton candy the same way again.
Aug 05, 201901:13:36
Boo-nus Ep. #1: Don't Ingest This (Ft. The Worst Horror Podcast)
In light of recent events, this episode is dedicated to the late Luca Charles, Camp IDONTWANNADIE's beloved mascot. Ash and Nick have decided to release the unaired bonus episode recorded with their good friends and co-counselors Yaz and Kasey of The Worst Horror Podcast! Hang with our Scooby Gang as they dive deep into their respective local lore and much, MUCH more!
Aug 02, 201901:27:17
RIP Luca - Taking This Week Off
Hi everyone, Nick here. My French Bulldog Luca suddenly passed away this week while I was in Ohio visiting Ash. We’ll be taking this week off to heal, but we’ll be back August 5th with a new episode.
Jul 26, 201905:48
Furries of Fury (Furry Nights, 2016)
This film is an Amazon Prime hand-picked...gem? This “so bad it’s good” experience was thrust upon us like a bad trip and congrats! - we’re sharing it with you. Join your favorite homos as they traverse the rocky terrain of this B Horror flick that checks off all of the boxes on the list of things you absolutely shouldn't do while camping. Oh, and there are killer furries too.
Jul 21, 201932:19
The Great, Wide Wonkaverse (The Witches, 1990)
Rob from The Pumpkin Spice Podcast is in the studio this week! Well, kind of. Modern technology breaks down geographical communication barriers. Rob and your fearless hosts are helping tear down the 90’s film that seemed to give every little kid nightmares! From opulent wardrobe choices to maniacal, magical world domination, we dissect and reminisce on The Witches! The gang also takes on existential questions about Willy Wonka standing for something way bigger than just a candy monarchy, and the potential existence of a Wonkaverse. Are the Witches and Willy in cahoots or mortal enemies? The world may never know!
Jul 14, 201901:19:50
Lime Green Jello (Jennifer's Body, 2009)
Did you ever have that one girl in school that you SWORE was straight out of hell? Well, Jennifer is basically that girl. She’s evil, and not just high school evil. She is literally a succubus. She’s here to tell you all about how boys are dumb, and tear down the patriarchy with her campy one-liners. Nick and Ash never thought they’d worship a demon, but Jennifer and Needy are quite persuasive. Join them as they sing the praises of Diablo Cody’s criminally under-celebrated turn at horror - Jennifer’s Body!
Jul 07, 201943:44
Welcome To Camp! (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter)
Hello Campers! Counselor Death Sprinkles here! Hold onto your bags, because the buses are making no stops and we are going FULL SPEED AHEAD! Nick and Ash are excited for the first week of Camp Idontwannadie and they hope everyone is prepared to talk about this week's film! It’s campy! It takes place at a camp! All we need now are some roasty marshmallows! What's your favorite campfire tale? Maybe one about a dude in a hockey mask that just...won't...DIE?
Jul 01, 201901:07:36
We Need To Do Better (Seed of Chucky & The Skin I Live In)
The last week, and subsequently the last episode of Pride Month is upon us, and Nick and Ash reflect on what it truly means to be in an era where representation is done both effectively and responsibly - or when it isn’t. The duo take on not one, but two films this week and read each one in the very first head to head, versus death match. Grab your reading glasses because the library is open. When it comes to our trans brothers and sisters, we can do better. Happy pride, everyone!
Jun 24, 201901:31:35