The Writings of Ross Severing

After graduating college, I had a lot of reflecting to do about life - society - my past - and myself. Through combining age old English essays, I reflect on what my thought processes in life really mean, if any of these girls whom I blame for my destitute life is truly to blame, and begin to start shaping the idea that I'm the villain in my own story. Not in a totally evil or terrible way, but it wasn't others who cased and hurt me in unimaginable ways, but it was merely myself and my expectations that caused incompatibility and disappointment.

A metaphorical short story about a boy who was dress shoes that are much too big for his feet.

My take at writing a sad, country song.

After Caroline set up a challenge to write a story about Orange, I penned this story one day after some practice standardized test (not sure why I was allowed paper and pencil, but here is the story).

Taking more stereotypes then necessary about southern country folks, and a Floridian attitude that reminds me of echoes of Hoot, this story works to incorporate song lines while setting forth the themes that words aren't important, and that once one has the moment, then they lose the hope. 

Reflections of an individuals and the various aspects of his room that he thinks is the best in the world.

The version includes a lot of footnotes where I describe my various thought process behind the different attributes within the story. It may get a little bit confusing at times, but it does a good job at help showing my thoughts and the meaning behind the piece.

A man sits and describes the various aspects of his room -- convinced that he has the best of everything that he could ever get.

My cutting of - , " said the shotgun to the head - that I used for state in Poetry. The many meanings of this poem still escape me, but there is something beautiful and poetic about how it seeks to critique the world while still longing and asking questions.

An essay that I come back to time and time again as it has a clear meaning that seems to totally allude me. In this essay, I placed so much of my broken heart, so many of my questions about society, and so much of my longing for that friend - to be with 'til the end, of history.

This is a re-recording, as I originally recorded this song back when I first started recording things on here.

Another English essay to help show my pessimistic thoughts about love and society.

An English essay reflecting on a poem. This essay helps to show my general pessimistic views towards love in the world. It was written while Ashlyn and I were going out with little underlying problems from that relationship to draw on.

For my last semester of undergrad, I had a student teaching internship that did not go well. Eventually, I ended up withdrawing from that, finding other classes to take to graduate, and took my 4.0 and moved on with my life.

After reflecting over the summer, I just stayed focus on school, doing my best to get done, and get on with my life. I did have a few moments with some friends, though.

A poem written to reflect on my relationship with Jerri Lynn, particularly during the time when I was starting to really care again, and begin to recognize what it is that I had lost. Did I succeed or fail in confining our relationship to a couplet? Who knows...

Through texting a fat and sexy girl in Leanna, to writing a letter to Jerri Lynn, to hanging out with Laura, to driving up North, summer brought plenty of time for me to begin to do some healthy reflections. Though, I still had a lost left to unpack -- and still do.

After the failure of my relationship with Jerri Lynn, I slowly had to re-balance my life in the absent of friends, always knowing that there was a real chance that I might not be emotionally strong enough to continue.

The semester started off with me falling right back into isolation and depression -- trying to regain things I once had while, in many senses of the term, being the villain in my own story. But, then, a long came a friend who introduced me to an incredible girl (sounds kind of familiar?), and there was a beautiful mess of a love story between the two of us. At the very least, this love story was my motivation to continue writing this autobiography and, more specifically, my motivation for most of the Book of Purple (i.e. Season 4 of this here podcast).

After writing and reading back over the story of Jerri Lynn, I figured that a re-recording of "A Song For All Cocoa Lovers In The World" was in order. This song helps to symbolize my friendship with Laura over this time.

Note: It is explicit because I replace some words in some of the choruses with curse words. Didn't intended that when I started out, but seemed like the appropriate thing to do given its context.

What is there to say after the conclusion? This brief piece details the events of the summer after my freshman year of college while offer an introduction to the more story like aspect of the fall of the year and the first half of the Book of Purple

A quasi-poem that I wrote after Chelsea broke up with me -- expressing my concern, desires, and despair.

In the midst of my anger, I reflect on the Book of Green in light of my original introduction. Have I learn anything? Did I succeed? Was there ever any hope?

After finally heading off to college, I had hoped that it would be different, and that I would truly be able to find someone to love. Slowly, I made friends and finally got a wonderful girlfriend. But, my emotional issues, past problems, and doubts surfaced in ways that made me incredibly frustrated and angry at the moment, and, in retrospect, show the underlying issues that I have for all serious relationships and friendships as these are the same issues and fears that pop up even many years later. I always thought this would be such a painful part to cover because of the immense pain that I was left with after this experience, but, in many ways, it is insightful - though scary - to recognize the connections between these pains and many later ones.

A brief, and rather slanted, perspective of my senior year of high school which includes a description of World Geography with Mrs. Pearson-Pratho and the fall and failure of my relationship with Ashlyn.

After my Year of The Oratory, I begin to look around for hope in the world through friendship and relationships. Though, I find that many relationships that I have seem to amount to little for me, I do end up meeting a wonderfully cute girl and getting an official girlfriend for the first time.

A reading of the poem Forever I Slept. (I couldn't not do another recording after reading over the proceeding section on Steven in my autobiography.)

A reading of the various names given to (most) of the days over the summer between my 10th and 11th grade year. The journal was written overly simplistically - for easy of writing and other literary reasons, so, overall, the descriptions are lacking or written in too simplistic of a way.

Explains my quest of "looking for a friend/ to be with until the end..." that I took on following the events of my 9th grade year. Divided into two parts. I developed friendships, such as with Steven, Bybee on Facebook, and had a crush on Rebekah as one half of how I sought to reach out beyond myself. The other half was practicing and working on my Oratory in hope that sharing my message, originally intended for Jordyn, would some how unlock something with in me or the world. Though, maybe these are just two areas I chose to fail at, since I cannot say that either avenue provided much for me in the long run.

A reflection on previous crushes that help to define who one is.

A reading of the poem "The End of History." I rerecorded it while working through Robin's section of 9th grade, and figured it would be a good comparison piece to determine which version has better sound quality.

A reading of the original letter that was given to Jordyn and became the basis for my Oratory, "The Imperfect Labyrinth." For more context, see the 9th grade episode that more clearly puts a context around who Jordyn was, and my thoughts, desires, and battles of that year. This is also included for comparison purposes with the final version of my Oratory.

An exploration through my experiences and songs that defined my ninth grade year. From an overview of my classes, to an overview of my sexual desires, to my longing and desire for a lover in Jordyn, to the calm and safe harbor of debate camp and Robin.

A monologue dedicated to the love of my life, Jirapon. Happy Birthday my love.

Overview of my classes in 8th grade, followed by a description of the various friendships and companions I had during this year, with the most notable being my crush on Holly. 

Reading of the semi-song You Spend Your Days Daydreaming

Pensive reflections from a stagnant 7th grade year.

Overview that catches up on where my life had been and where it was heading, from my crush on Haley, to sleepovers with friends, to being in Peter Pan, to confirmation, and to my parents continued tension with their divorce.

Summarizing the transition to public school with nods to Logan, my new GT Class, the Disney Channel, and Mockingbird.

A poem that was a long time in the making that seeks to combine various strands of thought to make a description of "all of it".

With changes in life, comes the need to develop defense mechanisms. The one of choice? A logical view on the world that accounts for the failure of others to be more open and inviting.

With only 3 people in my 3rd grade class, there was a mixture of bonding and lack of additional opportunities.

As life moves on, changes both in what one has to expect from his Kindergarten crush, and from his parents at home, creates a new foundation for life ahead.

After a year spent in Kindergarten where I met Caroline, what would the future hold now that we were in separate grades and classrooms?

Reading of the semi-poem "Nonsense" which was developed from an original stream-of-unconscious recording.

Reading of the Semi-Poem "De-Ja Voo" with a short introduction.

Reading of the Poem, "How Sad to Have a Dream"

Reading of the poem, "Christmas Eyes"

Reading of the poem called, "I".

Like, that is really what it is called it. Probably because that is the first word in the poem. And some how it stuck.

A reading of the poem, "You Live in Fantasy Lands"

Reading of the poem, "You Never Told Me"

A reading of the poem, "Life is Like"

Another poem from Ross Severing's first collection