Cowpunchers!

The Mask of Zorro directed by Martin Campbell and starring Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers discuss the issues inherent in "Horny Confessional." Mel revels in all the clever one liners. Stu identifies Catherine Zeta-Jones as this movie's "sexy howitzer." Mel gets best-in-class on the geography quiz simply by showing up.

Ride the High Country directed by Sam Peckinpah and starring Joel McCrea, Randolph Scott and Mariette Hartley

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers meet the drunkest judge, the most sinister set of brothers and your favorite western grandads. Amy declares that sometimes you just have to be a person! Stu becomes enamored with Randolph Scott. Mel is confused by Kate's choice of wedding attire. This episode is dedicated to Randolph Scott, and to a lesser extent, President Jimmy Carter.

Appaloosa directed by Ed Harris and starring Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, and Renée Zellweger.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers encourage you to wash your butt. Amy conducts a thorough investigation to determine what are the female lead's motivations. Mel felt the movie didn't live up to its name. Stu enjoyed watching smug dudes getting shot.

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron directed by Kelly Asbury and Lorna Cook, starring Matt Damon, James Cromwell and Daniel Studi.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers aren't crying! You're crying! Stu pitches a new reality TV show: Horse Wives. Amy suggests you watch this one with subtitles. Mel gives a stern warning about petting wild bison.

Death Rides a Horse directed by Giulio Petroni, and starring Lee Van Cleef, John Phillip Law, and Mario Brega.

Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '24 ends with this bleak tale of greed and revenge. Mel is excited to hear Lee Van Cleef call someone an idiot. Stu concludes that if you trap Lee Van Cleef in a hotel room, you've only signed your own death warrant. Amy asks us all to roll for initiative.

Dig Your Grave, Friend... Sabata's Coming directed by Juan Bosch, starring Richard Harrison, Fernando Sancho and Raf Baldassarre.

Episode Roundup: Can a Sabata by any other name be as cool? The Cowpunchers find out in this Sabata copycat containing a boat load of heinous hats, awkward fight foley work, and one truly unbelievable fake mustache. Amy picks a movie that is impossible to find, Mel uses all of her research powers to unearth it. Stu doesn't think this movie exists.

We also answer a question from one of our lovely listeners about the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly directed by Sergio Leone and starring Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef.

Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '24 gets off to a solid start! The Cowpunchers highly recommend that you drop everything and watch this movie right now. They also recommend that you don't go out and get hit by a train. Mel presents her PhD thesis on this movie's costumes. Amy gets closer to outlining a scientific definition for "coot." This movie was so beautiful that it made Stu mad.

Blazing Saddles directed by Mel Brooks, and starring Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder and Slim Pickens.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are bombarded with hilarious gags. Amy can't remember the main character's name. Mel researches some references that went over our heads. Stu writes to Hollywood and asks to bring back the intermission.

Badland directed by Justin Lee and starring Kevin Makely, Trace Adkins, and Mira Sorvino.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers delve back into the depths of the worst movie they've ever seen only to discover...that they were WRONG. Mel admires the landscape of Kevin Makely's abs. Stu embraces the madness. Amy thinks we just weren't ready for this movie in 2020.

A Cowboy Christmas directed by Jeremy Drummond, starring Brenna Coates, Teagan Vincze and Brennan Martin.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are tricked into watching a non-western. Stu gets nit picks the cookie math. Mel is offended on behalf of Hallmark movies and recommends you watch a much better one. Amy posits that the sister is a secret murderer. What is Cole hiding under that hat??

For our 100th Episode the Cowpunchers discuss aspects of the genre, what makes a Western great, and watch every Western movie made before 1900 (at least the ones we could find).

Mel won't get you the big knife. Stu gives a sober history of the saloon. Amy wonders if the movies we watched on this episode were truly Westerns or just current events of the 1890s.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford directed by Andrew Dominik and starring Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck and Sam Rockwell.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpuncher watch nearly three hours of cowboy ASMR with bits of movie sprinkled in as a treat. Mel finds the narration unintentionally hilarious. Amy refers to Jeremy Renner exclusively as Hawkeye, and has trouble with the bro-code. Stu struggles to describe the shootout between Dick Liddil and Wood Hite without any innuendos.

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter directed by William Beaudine, and starring John Lupton, Narda Onyx, and Cal Bolder.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers get pedantic. Amy uses complex Non-Euclidean Geometry to explain the romantic subplot. Mel is holding out for a himbo. Stu observes someone's kink.

Billy the Kid versus Dracula directed by William Beaudine and starring John Carradine, Chuck Courtney and Melinda Casey.

Episode Roundup: For our spooky Halloween special, the Cowpunchers discuss inappropriate ways to look at things. Pat takes umbrage with the inconsistent vampire lore. Amy is confused about how doctors are educated and hopes cryptid lore is included in the curriculum. Stu sends a rude postcard to Francis. Mel implores you to take it seriously when someone wants to "catholic" at the problem

More Dead Than Alive directed by Robert Sparr and starring Clint Walker, Anne Francis, and Vincent Price.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers attempt to adequately describe how big and tall Clint Walker is, but ultimately come up short. Amy advises you to not taunt unhinged young men with firearms. Mel is convinced Anne Francis is a time traveler. Stu comes up with a last minute Halloween costume.

The War Wagon directed by Burt Kennedy, starring John Wayne, Kirk Douglas and Howard Keel.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers reccomend you watch another movie. Stu posits that a train would be a more economical option. Amy forgets that train robberies exist. Mel fixes the movie by setting it inside Westworld. Stay to the end to hear a letter from a listener with some bonus 3:10 to Yuma facts!

3:10 to Yuma starring Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, and Ben Foster.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers want to know where Charlie Prince buys his jackets. Mel has valuable advice on where to store your high explosives. Amy says what we're all thinking, "Hey, $200 is $200, am I right?" Stu seriously doubts the medical accuracy of this movie.

3:10 to Yuma directed by Delmer Daves and starring Glenn Ford, Van Heflin and Felicia Farr.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers beg Mark to shut his mouth. Mel's eyebrows are living their best lives. Stu exhausts his thesaurus as he comes up with new names for Contention City. Amy critiques the heavy shots at the saloon.

Two Mules for Sister Sara directed by Don Siegel and starring Clint Eastwood and Shirley MacLaine.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers revel in hearing Clint Eastwood say "ass." Mel tells the story of the largest rosary she's ever seen. Amy proposes using an exploding Bible as a weapon. Stu describes his ideal career; doing nothing.

I Am Sartana, Your Angel of Death directed by Giuliano Carnimeo and starring John Garko and Frank Wolff.

Episode Roundup: This episode is bursting with fun surprises! Stay till the end to hear a lovely letter from a lovely listener, our world famous geography quiz (that Mel and Amy forgot to do on the last episode) and at the very very very end... Stu attempts to read through the show notes for the other Sartana movies we've watched.

The Cowpunchers discuss the finer points of cowboy pokemon evolution, then nearly come to blows over Coot taxonomy. Stu wants to steal Sartana's outfit. Amy nearly dies. Mel loves Hot Dead.

Contact us at CowpunchersShow@gmail.com or check our our Instagram! @CowpunchersPod

The Telegraph Trail directed by Tenny Wright and starring John Wayne, Duke the Wonder Horse, and Frank McHugh.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch a movie that was as lazy as it was racist! Seriously, it was a wagon full of slurs paired with about 25 minutes of stock footage. Amy demands the release of the "scooch cut." Mel builds on the theory that "Fellowship of the Ring" is a Western.

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre directed by John Huston and starring Humphrey Bogart, Walter Huston and Tim Holt.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers talk delicious Texas peaches, what happens when you give a coot some gold, and that the true treasure was the friends we made along the way. Mel posits that this may be the prequel to Silverado, and advises you to not get bit by a gila monster. Amy provides some Mining Facts(TM). Stu tells us the badges he's earned while in the Coot Scouts and is impressed with how sweaty Humphrey Bogart looks.

Ringo's Big Night directed by Mario Maffei and starring William Berger, Adriana Ambesi, and Eduaro Fajardo

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers observe several subplots go out in search of a main story arc. Mel is so upset by observing numerous and flagrant equine safety violations that she calls Horse OSHA. Pat is viciously and mercilessly assaulted by Foley artistry. Stu moderates an intense discussion about horses the only way he knows how; by looking at memes.

Old Henry directed by Potsy Ponciroli and starring Tim Blake Nelson, Scott Haze and Gavin Lewis.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch the Western version of John Wick. Amy makes a lot of Pokémon references. Pat teaches us about cowboy guns. Stu is shocked by Chekov's Hogs.

Our first "Best Of" Episode! Enjoy this collection of our favorite jokes, gags, and bits from the last 3 years! Mel rants about Kenneth Branagh. Amy laughs hysterically at a list of stuffed horses. Pat gets mad at poor firearm/banjo handling. Stu observes a weird dinner.

Episodes included: Arizona, Badland, Sabata, Shanghai Joe, Shakiest Gun in the West, Sabata Revisited, Sabata the Killer, the Grand Duel, White Buffalo, BloodRayne 2, Christmas Mountain, Boot Hill, Wild Wild West, Tombstone, Dodge City, My Names is Nobody, Trail of Robin Hood, Mark of Zorro 1920, High Noon, Return of Sabata.

The Mark of Zorro directed by Rouben Mamoulian and starring Tyrone Power, Linda Darnell and Basil Rathbone.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers gleefully return to Caballero night! Mel and Amy enjoy men's fashion. Stu doesn't believe this is a western at all. And finally -- Justice for Chihuahua!

Send us a note at CowpunchersShow@gmail.com!

Django, Prepare a Coffin directed by Ferdinando Baldi, and starring Terence Hill, Horst Frank, and George Eastman.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers continue their search for a Terence Hill movie that isn't obnoxious so that Amy can be freed from the fey realms! Stu incorrectly identifies Django Reinhardt as Spanish (he was Belgian). Amy observes Terence Hill collecting men for his ghost army. Mel trusts no one, and neither should you.

Meek's Cutoff directed by Kelly Reichardt, starring Michelle Williams, Bruce Greenwood and Paul Dano.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers detail all the places you can get lost in and die in America to this very day! Pat posits that this is a post apocalpytic film. Mel makes her own postcard. Amy is still trapped in the fey realm and Stu proposes Stephen Meek as a guide to get her out. We also answer the age-old question: Should you take your pregnant wife and or your bird on the Oregon trail?

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Bad Girls directed by Jonathan Kaplan, and starring Madeleine Stowe, Mary Stuart Masterson, Andie MacDowell, and Drew Barrymore.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers have a disagreement on the quality of this movie! Amy is captivated by a caravan of coots. Pat reveals his "type" and that type is Drew Barrymore with murder in her eyes. Stu calls his mom to ask if she'll let him watch Spiderman.

Bandidas directed by Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg, starring Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek and Steve Zahn.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are coming at you with some BSE (Big Spaghetti Energy) with this Western that is nearly great except for one early aught's infected scene. Pat demands the Cleef. Stu is haunted by Dwight Yoakam's face. Amy was really hoping for a Lady Zorro scenario. Mel introduces the punchers to the very technical term "boobular".  The search continues for Salma Hayek's perfect Western. 

Check us out on Instagram @CowpunchersPod or email us at CowpunchersShow@gmail.com

For a Few Dollars More directed by Sergio Leone, and starring Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, and Gian Maria Volontè.

Episode Roundup:  SABATATHON '23 is rounded out with the middle stage of the "Dollars" Trilogy.  Get ready for a metric ton of FACE.  Stu squints so long and hard his face gets frozen that way.  Mel doesn't know anyone or anything, she's dead!  Amy tests Mel and Stu with this year's Sabatathon quiz, "A Western by Any Other Name."

Bad Man's River directed by Eugenio Martin, starring Lee Van Cleef, James Mason and Gina Lollobrigida.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers revel in seeing Lee Van Cleef in  a different hat. Stu posits that this movie has Big Muppet Energy (TM). Amy's broad definition of coot causes a contr0versy.  Mel provides direction for Lee and Gina's "sexy" scenes.  

Email us at: CowpunchersShow@gmail.com 

Check us out on Instagram: @CowpunchersPod

Return of Sabata directed by Gianfranco Parolini and starring Lee Van Cleef, Reiner Schöne, and Giampiero Albertini.

Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '23 is off to a roaring start with this, the last "Canonical" installment of the Sabata trilogy!  Stu admires an ugly suit.  Mel feels that this movie taught her to appreciate James Bond.  Amy found the missing portion of a circus movie.  Pat observes a man get hit in the nuts so hard that he dies.

High Noon directed by Fred Zinnemann, starring Gary Cooper, Grace Kelly and Thomas Mitchell.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers stan Helen, and could not run out of nice things to say about this classic Western. Stu posits that this film is a good bridge between film noir and westerns. Mel says the real villian is not Frank Miller, but the whole town.  Amy is charmed by a young Lee Van Cleef.

Send us a note at CowpunchersShow@gmail.com !

The Mark of Zorro directed by Fred Niblo and starring Douglas Fairbanks, Marguerite De La Motte, and Noah Beery.

Episode Roundup:  The Cowpunchers watch a Zorro movie only to talk at length about Batman.  This movie dared to ask "Have you seen this one?"  Mel suggests that Zorro would be a great moderator for the AITA sub-Reddit.  Amy points out that this movie had a stronger female lead than some movies made in the last twenty five years.  We introduce a new segment, "Who brought the hands?"

Trail of Robin Hood directed by William Witney, starring Roy Rogers, Penny Edwards and Trigger the horse.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers learn about the cut throat world of Christmas Tree farmers in this seasonally appropriate western. Stu is impressed by a very violent dog. Mel provides an audio tour of famous stuffed horses. Pat explores this movie's similarities to Space Jam. Amy loses her mind.

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My Name is Nobody directed by Tonino Valerii and starring Terence Hill and Henry Fonda.

Episode Roundup:  Get ready for an EXPLOSIVE horse riding event!  Pat is an active advocate for horse murder.  Mel discusses the rare Cowboy weather system and its impact on the American Plains.  Stu gets pissed about the most important pissing scene in cinema history.  Amy is kidnapped by Terence Hill and taken to the Fae Realms.

Heads I'll kill you, tails... you're dead - They Call me Allelujah directed by Giuliano Carnimeo, starring George Hilton, Charles Southwood and Agata Flori

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers have difficulty naming this movie - other titles include: "Guns for Dollars", "Deep West", and "They Call me Hallelujah". Mel proves that the protaganist is a time lord. Amy digs the soundtrack of the revolution. Stu confirms that none of this is historically accurate.

Send us a note at cowpunchersshow@gmail.com !

Dodge City directed by Michael Curtiz and starring Errol Flynn, Olivia de Havilland, and Ann Sheridan.

Episode Roundup:  The Cowpunchers announce their strong and steadfast support for the Union.  Mel is a first order Olivia de Havilland stan.  Stu wants to see two trains get in a fight.  Amy can't think of a word that describes an altercation that involves firearms.  Pat develops a crush on Errol Flynn.

Bone Tomahawk directed by S. Craig Zahler, starring Kurt Russel, Patrick Wilson and Matthew Fox. 

Episode Roundup: The cowpunchers list the differences between Amy MacLeod and David Arquette. Amy implores you to avoid evil magic circles, no matter theie provenance.  Pat entrenches himself further into anti-horse rhetoric. Stu refuses to meet with the devil.

Send us a note at Cowpunchersshow@gmail.com !

Tombstone directed by George P. Cosmatos and starring Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, and Sam Elliott.

Episode Roundup:  How many one-liners will we include and how many of those will have been spoken by Val Kilmer?  Amy is your huckleberry.  Stu wants to watch this again right now.  Pat wants pepperoni and cheese.  Mel greatly admires Kurt Russell's mustache.

My Darling Clementine directed by John Ford, starring Henry Fonda, Linda Darnell and Victor Mature. 

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers take a reccomendation from M*A*S*H*'s own Colonel Potter! Amy posits the different potential flavors of church.  Mel demands justice for Chihuahua. Stu recalls the age old tradition of wrecking the theater when you don't like the show.

Wild Wild West directed by Barry Sonnenfeld and starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, and Salma Hayek.

Episode Roundup:  The Cowpunchers watch "Missed Opportunity 2:  Now With Salma Hayek's Butt."  Mel reveals her deep and furious loathing of Kenneth Branagh.  Stu thinks this movie wasn't nearly dumb enough.  Amy wants you to know that that isn't how crocheting works.

Silverado directed by Lawrence Kasdan, starring Kevin Kline, Scott Glen and Kevin Costner. 

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers all get together for a super-sized episode for this super-sized western! Mel wonders where most of this movie went.  Stu is impressed by the beards. Pat enjoys the charcuterie board of western tropes. Amy thinks this should have been a mini-series. 

Send us a note at Cowpunchersshow@gmail.com !

It Can Be Done Amigo directed by Maurizio Lucidi and starring Bud Spencer and Jack Palance.

Episode Roundup:  The Cowpunchers list things you can eat other than dirt, create a video game boss, and name a bird.  Amy is captivated by a cornucopia of coots.  Stu is vexed by the villainous visage of Jack Palance.

Boot Hill directed by Giuseppe Colizzi and starring Terence Hill, Bud Spencer and Woody Strode.

Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers celebrate "Geen's" retirement. Amy believes this movie led to the invention of the staple. Stu can't handle all that hot and cool JAZZ.  Pat is haunted by a cadre of killer clowns. 

Send us a note at Cowpunchersshow@gmail.com !  

Support Your Local Sheriff! directed by Burt Kennedy, and starring James Garner, Joan Hackett, and Walter Brennan.

Episode Roundup:  The Cowpunchers are introduced to the concept of Chekov's Howitzer.  Mel reflects on the defining traits of frontier fatherhood.  Stu admires James Garner's Bugs Bunny-esque shenanigans.

Justice directed by Richard Gabai, and staring Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Jackson Rathbone, and Stephen Lang.

Episode Roundup:  The Cowpunchers agree that what this movie really needed was some quick zooms and sharper faces.  Pat thinks this movie will make for a decent cinematography reel.  Stu fights with God.

The Return of Ringo directed by Duccio Tessari and starring Giuliano Gemma, Fernando Sancho, and Lorella De Luca.

Episode Roundup:  The Cowpunchers watch a man go to absurd lengths to determine whether his wife has been cheating on him.  Stu learns a new way to sling back a shot of whiskey.  Amy thinks any movie is made better when someone tosses a rifle to the main character.