
Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike
By Crash Dummies
Patrick Johnson and Michael Esiobu dive into current events and scenarios that probably will never happen.
Where to listen

Straight Wood - Episode 48
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58:24
June 01, 2022

Wheelchair Basketball - Episode 47
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01:11:38
May 25, 2022

The Shocker - Episode 46
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01:13:05
May 18, 2022

What Happens In Dubai Stays In Dubai - Episode 45
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01:13:07
May 11, 2022

T Drive - Episode 44
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01:11:29
May 04, 2022

Fred Durst Ruined My Band - Episode 43
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01:13:27
April 27, 2022

Milked - Episode 42
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01:10:07
April 20, 2022

Ocean or Lake? - Episode 41
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01:16:50
April 13, 2022

Two Mouths - Episode 40
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01:22:06
April 06, 2022

Slap Him If You Love Me - Episode 39
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01:21:55
March 30, 2022

Gas On Layaway - Episode 38
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01:29:25
March 23, 2022

Serial Cheater - Episode 37
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01:19:41
March 16, 2022

Don't Flinch - Episode 36
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01:22:45
March 09, 2022

Daddy - Episode 35
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01:03:34
March 02, 2022

Am I Good To Drive? - Episode 34
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01:11:37
February 23, 2022

Another Kanye Podcast - Episode 33
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01:06:08
February 16, 2022

Uncancellable - Episode 32
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01:10:38
February 09, 2022

Keep It In The Drafts - Episode 31
Video Version:
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Where to follow us:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/crashdummiespodcast/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@crashdummiespodcast?lang=en
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CrashDummiesPod
Follow Mike:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mike.esiobu/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9wt3d4gD4Jhh2-aE6ORTXQ
Follow Pat:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pjohnson_jr/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCprtiCBnght4lY-44KmR2cA
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCprtiCBnght4lY-44KmR2cA
01:30:25
February 02, 2022

A Third-Party - Episode 30
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01:08:27
January 26, 2022

Kanye Vs Pete - Episode 29
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01:01:02
January 19, 2022

Taco Bell Wings - Episode 28
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01:16:37
January 12, 2022

A Fetty Wap Christmas - Episode 27
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56:57
December 29, 2021

Explosionist - Episode 26
Merch Available now https://crashdummiesmerch.com/
Where to follow us and subscribe: www.crashdummiespodcast.com. 0:00 - Intro
3:10 - Jake Paul
12:09 - Semi Truck Accident
22:10 - Crimes in 4K
23:12 - Protocols
27:00 - New baby mama
33:48 - Christmas Relationship
37:11 - Child of an athlete
41:15 - Better chance of doing?
46:00 - 5 days left
53:15 - Would you rather? (Past bs Future)
1:00:10 - Would you rather? (Money)
1:08:41 - Closing Time
01:11:40
December 22, 2021

Off The Back - Episode 25
Merch Available now https://crashdummiesmerch.com/
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01:19:01
December 15, 2021

Sallie Mae is On Instagram! - Episode 24
Where to follow us and subscribe: www.crashdummiespodcast.com Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/ 0:00 - Intro
1:30 - Sallie Mae is on Instagram
4:27 - Parmesan Debate
9:15 - Mike’s PSA
11:33 - Talking Dogs
13:31 - Haircuts (Then v Now)
19:10 - Spotify Wrap Up
24:33 - Merch Update
25:25 - Would you rather (Surviving 15 minutes)
30:34 - DM from Mohamed
36:46 - Fake Vaccination Card
39:17 - Celebrities Addressing Rumors
43:40 - What would you do? (Tik Tok)
45:10 - Would you rather ( Minor Super Power)
50:12 - Mikes Story/ How do you wake up?
52:21 - How do you get into your car?
54:44 - GPS talking ish
55:30 - Squid Games 2.0
59:39 - Kevin Hart & The Rock
1:04:29 - Would you rather (Sleep/Wake 20 hours)
1:07:11 - Price going up?
1:11:44 - Santa Clause is Real
1:17:05 - Nike
1:17:43 - YK Osiris
1:24:30 - Would you rather? ( Take back/ Hear everything)
1:28:00 - Outro
01:31:19
December 08, 2021

Kanye’s Prayer - Episode 23
Where to follow us and subscribe: www.crashdummiespodcast.com Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/ 0:00 - Intro
2:20 - Kimye
11:36 - Money Truck
16:42 - Black Friday
19:11 - Bank Heist
21:29 - Dollar Tree
25:31 - Pros vs Fans
29:37 - Poop Spray
31:24 - Would you rather?
35:11 - Would you rather?
36:26 - Would you rather? (Fighting Scenarios)
43:07 - Weird Scenario (Mike’s Fight Story)
47:19 - Crazy Story
53:21 - what would you do? (Pats Story)
55:56 - Parent Teacher Conference
1:00:03 - Can you do this?
1:03:12 - Would you rather?
1:04: 57 - Holiday Season
1:06:27 - Entrepreneur Day
1:08:24 - Outro
01:12:09
December 01, 2021

Birthday Behavior - Episode 22
Where to follow us and subscribe: www.crashdummiespodcast.com Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/crashdummies. 0:00 - Intro
5:05 - Young Dolph
10:32 - Money isn’t everything
12:50 - When somebody tries to sell you something
17:30 - Rappers vs NBA
19:16 - Lebron Fights
24:30 - Would you rather?
26:05 - Americans
28:42 - Organ Donor
35:00 - Holiday Season
36:24 - One Animal
39:14 - Not that many Jrs
41:21 - Pat’s Subway Rant
43:30 - Deserved to get scammed
45:35 - Old Country Buffet
47:22 - What store would you bring back
49:53 - Mike isn’t a gang member
52:12 - Would you rather?
57:00 - Thanksgiving
1:00:00 - PETA Protest
1:02:19 - Outro
01:05:40
November 24, 2021

X-Ray Vision - Episode 21
Where to follow us and subscribe: www.crashdummiespodcast.com Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/crashdummies.
Malcom's Podcast- "Survive! The Podcast" https://open.spotify.com/show/6o3STui7mLlwGdcMjPbydD?si=Osd6ZPMPQjOIRE9kO3RkFA&utm_source=copy-link
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/survive-the-podcast/id1538179391
01:15:25
November 17, 2021

We’re Back - Episode 20
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01:04:02
November 10, 2021

Funny Moments Compilation
No Podcast this week but we didn't want to leave you all without something to listen to. So we put together a compilation of our funniest moments . See yall next week!
Where to follow us and subscribe: www.crashdummiespodcast.com Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/crashdummies.
43:13
November 03, 2021

Seekers or Secrets? - Episode 19
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0:00 - Intro 3:28 - Alec Baldwin 9:35 - Black Vs White Churches 17:23 - Merch Update 18:34 - Would you rather? 21:40 - Secrets or Seekers? 24:19 - Ghost Driving 30:20 - Donald Trump Update 30:39 - Favorite Song 34:43 - Would you rather? 36:37 - Old MTV 41:55 - Would you rather? 45:30 - Old Men at the gym 48:48 - Would you rather? 51:10 - Different Language 52:17 - Would you rather? 55:08 - NBA 75 1:01:55 - Most Useless body part 1:02:48 - Caitlyn Jenner (Outro)
01:05:45
October 27, 2021

The Bachelor Has To End - Episode 18
Where to follow us and subscribe: www.crashdummiespodcast.com Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/crashdummies
0:00 - Intro 3:26 - Would you rather? 7:35 - We were in a play 14:56 - Jon Gruden 25:40 - Would you rather? 27:21 - Merch coming soon! 28:43 - Overrated/Underrated/Accurate 37:51 - The Bachelor has to end 46:35 - Mike went to Culvers 49:52 - Would you rather? 52:28 - “You” Season 3 (No spoilers) 57:33 - Which came first? 1:01:15 - Do you close the door? 1:04:21 - Grocery Carrying? 1:08:29 - Would you rather? 1:11:48 - Hypothetical question 1:14:08 - Would you rather? 1:18:05 - Hooters 1:28:40 - WNBA 1:32:39 - Outro
01:34:38
October 20, 2021

Viva Viagra - Episode 17
Where to follow us and subscribe: www.crashdummiespodcast.com Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/crashdummies 0:00 - Intro 1:27 - Fury vs Wilder 12:10 - Dave Chappelle 19:40 - Have you watched this? 21:54 - Spooky Season 25:35 - Would you Rather? 29:54 - Facebook is down 34:40 - The Rock is a rapper? 39:14 - Would you rather? 42:39 - Relatable 50:36 - You met who? 54:14 - He’s pregnant?? 57:42 - Mike is stupid 58: 55 - Tis the season 1:02:30 - Different perspectives 1:05:14 - Drake & Chris Brown sued 1:07:49 - Hangry 1:10:12 - Commercial Comedy 1:18:10 - Would you rather 1:21:57 - Outro
01:23:49
October 13, 2021

YikYak and The McRib Are Back! - Episode 16
Where to follow us and subscribe: www.crashdummiespodcast.com
Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/crashdummies 0:00 - Intro
3:30 - Urban Meyer
7:53 - Squid Games
15:10 - Lil Baby
16:49 - Give me my money back
19:14 - Roll the dice
22:25 - Powerball Numbers
24:20 - Plane crash
26:50 - Yik Yak
34:23 - Devious Acts
36:56 - McRib is back
38:30 - Spooky season
44:19 - Walmart vs Target
49:00 - Vaccinated
1:03:18 - Superpowers
1:06:11 - Scalp Lickers
1:07:44 - Wanna get taller?
1:10:08 - Dress up
1:12:20 - Friend Zoned
1:20:00 - Outro
01:19:47
October 06, 2021

You Going To Jail Now - Episode 15
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Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/crashdummies
0:00 - Intro
3:57 - Orcas and Sea Lions
6:11 - Gabby Petito
12:13 - Cancel Him
15:25 - Fish McMuffin
19:58 - American Eating
24:03 - Prison Time for Money
27:33 - Dumb Crimes
28:45 - Kanye West Following People
32:39 - Unwritten Rules
41:09 - Girl Lyrics
42:36 - WYR: Snakes and Bulls
48:16 - This We Watched As Kids
52:36 - Mike’s Story
54:50 - Being Famous For The Wrong Thing
01:03:29 - Pranks
01:06:12 - The Rock
01:08:46 - Drake Vs Michael Jackson
01:16:16 - Singing Into a Fan
01:18:07 - WYR: Jaw or Ankle
01:19:06 - New iPhone
01:22:10 - The View
01:25:41- Outro
01:27:18
September 29, 2021

Whose Kid is This? - Episode 14
Where to buy "Thanks For The Ride": https://www.amazon.com/Thanks-Ride-Comedic-Short-Stories/dp/1098389298
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0:00 - Intro
4:11 - Lost Kid
9:18 - Smart Kids
12:22 - Parents are liars
13:43 - NBA Old Heads
18:51 - Time to Read
20:34 - WYR (War Time)
25:53 - Youngboy vs Nick Cannon
29:55 - Celebrity Parents
34:37 - Emoji Facts
40:35 - Racing 90 Year Olds
42:07 - Alien Encounter
49:00 - Judging Your Shopping Carts
51:11 - Walking Down a Long Hallway
56:47 - Reddit WYR
59:52 - School Days
1:01:00 - Wedding Pics
1:02:41 - Mandela Effect
1:06:20 - Voice Acting
1:08:26 - Outro
01:09:22
September 22, 2021

The Things We’d Do For The Dollar - Episode 13
Where to buy "Thanks For The Ride": https://www.amazon.com/Thanks-Ride-Comedic-Short-Stories/dp/1098389298
Join Our Patreon For Exclusive Content: https://www.patreon.com/crashdummies
0:00 - intro 3:23 - 9/11 7:59 - Time to Read 9:42 - Family Reunion 11:07 - Fashion week 15:10 - WYR? 16:15 - Mike’s Story 21:30 - Sexy Maid 23:56 - Drivers Ed 29:49 - WYR? 30:52 - Door Man 32:08 - Coupons 35:03 - Super Cat 37:12 - Goats 42:42 - Top Chef 46:21 - Click Bait 49:14 - WYR? 51:13 - In da club 53:55 - WYR? 55:53 - Bees n Bears 59:26 - Library 1:02:05 - Bedtime 1:05:12 - WYR? 1:07:08 - WYR? 1:08:16 - Dinner with Jay Z 1:16:12 - Outro
01:20:08
September 15, 2021

Kanye, Drake, and Kangaroos - Episode 12
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0:00 - Intro 4:44 - CLB 13:36 - WYR? 16:58 - Fight Cancer 18:42 - Devil On My Shoulder 23:37 - Teachers Crying 30:57 - Heaven or Hell? 34:15 - Annoying Girlfriend 37:09 - Car Trouble 41:19 - Dreaming 49:12 - Kangaroo Time 53:10 - NBA Dodgeball 56:12 - Civilians 59:00 - Buy My Clothes 1:02:00 - Biological Child 1:06:47 - WYR? 1:09:23 - Magic Johnson 1:13:00 - Inner Thoughts 1:16:14 - Caller 1:22:00 - Bishop Sycamore 1:29:16 - Outro
01:33:05
September 08, 2021

Tender Touch - Episode 11
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0:00 - Intro 4:48 - Donda 16:45 - Jake Paul 20:00 - WYR? 23:33 - Pat’s Story 24:50 - Party Time 31:04 - Wet Tissue 34:01 - Random Couple 37:35 - Addict 39:48 - Tender Touch 43:20 - Kidnapped? 44:27 - HotDogs 46:13 - 9th Place 52:00 - Reddit Group 54:46 - 100 million or your arm 56:58 - Too Much Ice 1:04:53 - Proposal 1:07:30 - Characteristics 1:10:05 - WYR? 1:12:53 - Outro
01:19:41
September 01, 2021

The Milk Man - Episode 10
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0:00 - Intro 4:06 - Crate Challenge 10:53 - Asking questions in front of the class 12:48 - Rappers got stop 13:50 - Screaming at concerts 17:45 - Dating apps 22:05 - Pj Washington 28:32 - Kardashians control everything 30:20 - Kylie stealing designs? 32:53 - Trump gets booed 34:36 - Guys face timing 36:17 - Girls calling about nothing 38:12 - You can’t pause an online game 41:00 - Chicago Rappers throwing a baseball 43:03 - Chasity belt 44:35 - Would you rather 48:35 - Would you rather 52:08 - Would you rather 55:08 - Would you rather 56:04 - Update on sperm group 59:02 - Onlyfans is done 1:04:15 - Outro
01:05:31
August 25, 2021

Late Nights - Episode 9
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0:00 - Intro 3:38 - Ray Lewis 8:04 - Vaccines talk 13:17 - Crazy dm 15:00 - Would you rather 18:43 - Would you rather 21:58 - Sperm donor 28:56 - Grape flavor 30:47 - Impossible Meat 34:32 - Would our kids use social media? 40:13 - Change a body sound 42:26 - Frozen hands 44:39 - Our haters 47:28 - Stand up comedy 51:45 - Wake up/ Old heads 53:47 - Zillow 56:12 - Counting pennies 58:08 - Black people and microwaves 59:55 - Random conversation 1:02:42 - Would you rather 1:03:53 - Would you rather 1:04:18 - Batman sucks 1:10:50: -Outro
01:13:56
August 18, 2021

Cancel Everyone - Episode 8
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0:00 - Intro
2:28 - Da baby Canceled?
9:08 - Manscaped
12:07 - 6ix9ine interview
20:26 - Would Pat snitch on Mike?
21:55 - Suitcase full of money
23:55 -Have you ever screamed?
27::00 - Are politicians the new sports teams?
32:21 - Is Kanye waiting for Drake?
37:04 - German Coach punches a horse
41:25 - Girls being impressed
46:37 - Cougar Love
48:13 - What would we do for a million dollars
54:20 - would you rather?
55:48 - Forgetting deodorant
57:39 - Look at us
58:30 - How to survive a zombie apocalypse
1:04:21 - Netflix shows we hate and love
1:04:46 - Outer Banks rant
1:08:34 - All American rant
1:11:01 - More Netflix show rants
1:13:55 - Our shortest relationships
1:17:05 - Our corniest moments
1:20:41 - Water cups
1:21:30 - Bill Cosby stand up?
1:26:43 - Memphis rappers
1:29:02 - Fight to the death
1:34:08 - Outro
01:36:16
August 11, 2021

Bidet Chronicles - Episode 7
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0:00 Intro
3:38 Rating Restaurants
27:42 Building on fire scenario
29:22 Simone Biles
37:49 Kyrie vs Nike
43:14 Aaron Rodgers
48:01 Would you rather
50:55 If you had 1M
53:01 Someone offers you this deal
56:04 Kelly Clarkston /Dr.Dre
1:03:41 Ashton Kutcher
1:10:12 Mike Story
1:20:48 How do you count
1:23:17 Would you rather
1:25:53 Plunger
1:28:18 Bidet Chronicles
1:33:03 Would you rather
1:39:09 Handshake
1:43:30 Da baby
1:49:04 Donkey vs Giraffe
1:51:38 Outro
01:56:46
August 04, 2021

Pat vs Africa - Episode 6
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0:00 Intro 2:07 Bucks in 6 7:20 Kanye did what? 13:08 Ad 16:00 Top 5 Rappers 20:00 Two Free things 24:36 Emotionally Scarred 27:46 Runaway child 31:03 Cock Fighting 36:07 Guardians?? 39:27 (picture of Arab mascot) 40:33 Jeff Bezos in space 41:05 (picture of rocket) 45:10 He got fired for what? 47:43 Bad Therapist 48:38 Would you rather… 54:20 Near Death Experience 56:51 Speak Better 59:47 Kardashian Curse 1:01:26 Olympics 1:08:24 Tik Tok Story 1:10:12 R. Kelly 1:12:40 Back to School 1:17:19 would you rather… 1:21:54 What’s her name? 1:26:26 Outro
01:30:50
July 28, 2021

Goat Head - Episode 5
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0:00 - intro 3:52 - You ever been jumped before? 11:47 - XXL Freestyle 15:54 - Baby Hitler 19:34 - Nigeria vs USA 24:37 - Chrissy Tiegen Canceled 33:07 - Celebrity Break Ins 38:26 - Ad 41:18 -Toilet Snake 44:21 - Space Jam 2 48:05 - Qdoba vs Chipotle 51:08 - 2021 prediction 57:47 - Statistical Liar 1:08:10 - Would you rather? 1:31:03 - Lamar vs Tristan 1:34:32 - Outro
01:38:29
July 21, 2021

Wheaties - Episode 4
0:00 - Intro 1:30 - Nigerian Boarding School 9:26 - What happens when you die? 17:00 - Scammed a scammer 25:08 - Athletes vs the world 40:46 - We are officially myth busters? 45:25 - How bad can Mike mess this up? 58:17 - This should be banned in America 1:07:00 - Would you rather. 1:12:25 - A personal thank you
01:14:23
July 14, 2021

Back Then - Episode 3
The guys look back on their childhood and things spiral out of control. They also dive into some recent news, including the Sha'carri Richardson story, which has shocked the country. And of course the fan favorite “Would you Rather” questions.
01:08:33
July 07, 2021

The Seed - Episode 2
On this episode the guys discuss Nick Cannon’s baby names, Tristan Thompson’s cheating allegations, NBA players we could beat in 1v1 and the fan favorite “Would you Rather” questions.
01:04:19
June 30, 2021

The Pilot - Episode 1
In this episode Pat and Mike discuss new music that came out, the past UFC events, the Madden cover, and many more sports topics. They also discuss the entertainment boxing industry and a few “would you rather” questions which led to total chaos.
54:48
June 26, 2021