Fans, parents, and even players sometimes believe a great coach yells, screams, and is really loud on the sideline! We need to reexamine our beliefs around what is the best way to operate during games on the sideline! I ask 3 quick questions for us to start really reflecting on the way we operate.
Check out this week's article on How to Stop Being Angry as a Coach for some practical ways to grow in this area.
Great strategy from Abe Lincoln on how to deal with criticism!
Also, for a great PDF tool on how to compose a great email during moments of conflict check out Nadia's website https://www.nowwhatfacilitation.com/
Follow up off of CB #121
Alfie Kohn on "Good Job"
Celebrate Achievement, Praise Effort
A great question to ask that I stole from Mark Bennett https://www.pdscoaching.com/
Check him out on the Way of Champions and The Talent Equation Podcast.
Also, check out the Coaching Culture Podcast Episode #63 Giving Great Feedback, Nate and I discuss some more strategies as well!
When people know what to do- what is expected of them, they can do it easily, together, and without being led. But when we are confused and don’t know what’s expected- when people communicate in vague descriptions like work harder, play harder, play smarter, play faster- people become paralyzed!
I know I am ready to give feedback when:
1. I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.
2. I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you)
3. I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue.
4. I want to acknowlege what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes
5. I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges
6. I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you.
7. I’m willing to own my part.
8. I can genuinely thank you for your efforts rather than criticize you for your failings
9. I can talk about how resolving thsese challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity
10. I can model the vulenrability and openness that I expect to see from you.
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We can't just model the character we want to see in our players, but we need to share with them the areas we struggle and model a willingness to learn and grow certain character strengths, qualities, and virtues.