Culture Builders #93 Intense Listening

One of the best team building activities I have heard of in a long time coming from Sean McDermott of the Buffalo Bills! 

I want to know what's working for you in building your team culture! Please share your ideas with us via audio or text, by emailing me at jpnerbun@thriveonchallenge.com

Be sure to subscribe to this podcast! Also, subscribe to the weekly newsletter at thriveonchallenge.com 

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Interested in mentorship- I am going to start working with 3 new coaches this month. Email me at jpnerbun@thriveonchallenge.com  or fill out this form https://goo.gl/forms/CefucsBpVJc0roRl2

Today's episode is an excerpt from my book Calling Up!  Order direct through me at thriveonchallenge.com 

For more practical ideas and activities to work with parents check out my book Calling Up: Discovering Your Journey to Transformational Leadership.  Go to thriveonchallenge.com 

Check out my book Calling Up at thriveonchallenge.com! It gives you some great examples of how you can build the character of your players within your team!  "A man has plenty of opportunities during a season to prove he knows how to do the right thing even when the right thing is hard. But no one just happens to have the character. It’s built into us by a long process. My parents gradually increased my freedom as I demonstrated responsibility because they understood that my character begins with the little things in life."  -Tony Dungy 

Another excerpt from my book Calling Up: Discovering Your Journey to Transformational Leadership  Check it out at thriveonchallenge.com! 

Today's episode is an excerpt from Calling Up: Discovering Your Journey to Transformational Leadership  Go to thriveonchallenge.com to order the book! 

Fans, parents, and even players sometimes believe a great coach yells, screams, and is really loud on the sideline! We need to reexamine our beliefs around what is the best way to operate during games on the sideline! I ask 3 quick questions for us to start really reflecting on the way we operate.  Check out this week's article on How to Stop Being Angry as a Coach for some practical ways to grow in this area.  https://thriveonchallenge.com/articles/ 

I wrote Calling Up to help coaches BUILD character, not just teach it. Order the #1 coaching book you need to read in 2019! https://thriveonchallenge.com/books/

Calling Up is the #1 coaching book for you this year! Order it today by going to https://thriveonchallenge.com/books/ Thanks for the support! 

Mandela is one of the greatest leaders of the 20th Century.  Today's episode shares 3 quick lessons he can teach us about creating a vision for our team! 

Great strategy from Abe Lincoln on how to deal with criticism!  Also, for a great PDF tool on how to compose a great email during moments of conflict check out Nadia's website https://www.nowwhatfacilitation.com/

Follow up off of CB #121 Alfie Kohn on "Good Job" https://www.alfiekohn.org/article/five-reasons-stop-saying-good-job/ Celebrate Achievement, Praise Effort https://ilovetowatchyouplay.com/2018/05/06/why-we-should-celebrate-achievement-and-praise-effort/

A lot of basketball and hockey coaches faces this issue at this time of year! I offer 3 potential steps to collaborate with the parent towards an athlete centered approach!

Check out Coaching Culture Episode 63 for more! Also get the free chapter of Calling Up by going to thrive on challenge.com

Download Your Free Chapter of Calling Up by going to ThriveOnChallenge.com and subscribing to my weekly newsletter there!

Go to thriveonchallenge.com to pre-order Calling Up!

A great question to ask that I stole from Mark Bennett https://www.pdscoaching.com/ Check him out on the Way of Champions and The Talent Equation Podcast. Also, check out the Coaching Culture Podcast Episode #63 Giving Great Feedback, Nate and I discuss some more strategies as well! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/coaching-culture/id1286560192?mt=2

Be sure to check out the Coaching Culture Podcast next week for more on improving your feedback!

For more information on my mentorship program email me at jpnerbun@thriveonchallenge.com

Transformational coaching isn't easy!

If you want to know more on how to implement this system personally or with your coaching staff, send me an email at jpnerbun@thriveonchallenge.com

Enforce consequences that build character and connection, not just compliance! Go to thriveonchallenge.com for more resources!

Coaching Isn't for You, It's for Them! Email: jpnerbun@thriveonchallenge.com

How to build empathy in our players!

A re-recording of episode #70 due to an error in that audio!

Go to thriveonchallenge.com for more!

Anson Dorrance the most winningest college coaches of all time and one of the fiercest competitors actually prepares to lose. Learn what he does and why he does it!

New coach? Old coach? Doesn't matter- the single most important thing we can do is...

The difference between being content and complacent. We need to be grateful for the opportunities, the challenges and the resources we do have, while striving for greatness.

Simple activity that I employed years ago that helped me make some very necessary changes in the way I operated as a coach during games.

Go to thriveonchallenge.com for more culture building resources!

Interesting research on some semenarian's preparing a sermon on "The Good Samaritan." Here is a link to this research http://faculty.babson.edu/krollag/org_site/soc_psych/darley_samarit.html

If you found value in this episode, please click share and send to a fellow coach or post on twitter/ facebook.

How My Dad Taught Me How to Do a Great Job at the Dishes!

Follow up to Culture Builders #99 Thanks for all your support of the podcast!

How to handle "bad" feedback or criticism?

Abraham Lincoln Winning and Losing- Life or Death Humor and Laughter Go to thriveonchallenge.com for more!

When people know what to do- what is expected of them, they can do it easily, together, and without being led. But when we are confused and don’t know what’s expected- when people communicate in vague descriptions like work harder, play harder, play smarter, play faster- people become paralyzed!

If you liked today's episode- support the podcast and share! It would mean a great deal to me. Twitter: @jpnerbun Email: jpnerbun@thriveonchallenge.com Website: thriveonchallenge.com

Please share if you enjoyed today's episode! Follow me on twitter @jpnerbun Email me jpnerbun@thriveonchallenge.com Go to thriveonchallenge.com

Strategy for building culture!

Do we practice what we preach when it comes to listening?

I break down a team building activity from the Netflix Documentary QB1!

Be sure to listen to Culture Builders #90 beforehand!

Check out Daniel Coyle's Book Culture Code 10 Behaviors 1. Space 2. Eye Contact 3. Touch 4. Short Talk 5. Few Interruptions 6. Questions 7. Intense Listening 8. Humor 9. Courtesies 10. Thank you!

Check me out on Twitter @jpnerbun or for more tools go to thriveonchallenge.com

Character and Relationship Builder

Behavior for Building Culture

Behavior to Build Culture

Relationship Builder Friday

Leadership Thursday!

Character Wednesday

Mental Toughness Tuesday Check out more from James Clear https://jamesclear.com/sleep

Mindfulness Monday

Relationship Fridays

Leadership Thursday

Character Wednesday

Mental Toughness Tuesday

Mindfulness Monday

Relationship Fridays

Leadership Development Thursday

With sound this time! :-) Character Building Tool for You!

Mental Toughness Tuesday Journaling Activity James Clear Article https://jamesclear.com/implementation-intentions

Mindfulness Monday Activity for You and Your Team

Relationship Friday How does physical proximity impacts relationships, connections, and safety?

Leadership Thursday

Character Wednesday Developing the Temporal Parietal Junction (TPJ)- The Capactiy for Empathy

Mental Toughness & Emotional Intelligence Tuesday

Mindfulness Monday

Relationship Builder

Leadership Athletes

Character Wednesday

What triggers + and - emotions?

Are we looking for the coach’s’ dream player or are we loving them where they are at?

Do we value relationships with our players after they are gone? How can we continue to invest in them.

Leadership Thursday

Character Wednesday

Mental Toughness Tuesday

Mindfulness Monday!!!!

Relationship Builder Fridays!

Leadership Thursdays

Character Wednesday

Mental Training Tuesday

Mindfulness Monday

Relationship Fridays

Thursday Leadership Tool

Character Wednesday

Mental Toughness Tuesday

Mindfulness Mondays!!

Relationship Fridays

Leadership Thursday’s

Character Wednesday- Building Empathy!

Mental Toughness Tuesday

Mindfulness Monday's Principle comes from Jocko Willink's book "Extreme Ownership".

Building relationships with players!

Intentional language to empower and inspire your team.

Who makes the team, who has the opportunity to practice, and who gets to play in the game? Don’t just have standards for skill and athleticism!

I know I am ready to give feedback when: 1. I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you. 2. I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you) 3. I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue. 4. I want to acknowlege what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes 5. I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges 6. I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you. 7. I’m willing to own my part. 8. I can genuinely thank you for your efforts rather than criticize you for your failings 9. I can talk about how resolving thsese challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity 10. I can model the vulenrability and openness that I expect to see from you.

Relationship Builder: Sometimes the best thing we can do together is to just BE together.

Subscribe at thriveonchallenge.com to my newsletter. Let me know if you are interested in my mentorship program which has some spots opening up in late July early August. My consulting services include mentorship, workshops for your athletes, coaches, and parents, as well as an evaluation of your system and working with you to make necessary improvements. Email me at jpnerbun@thriveonchallenge.com or message me on Twitter @JPNERBUN or shoot me a text 423-653-1461

How can stories like that of John Landy help is to develop character?

Train players to see conditioning as a good thing!

2 important questions to ask yourself when facing hard criticisms...

One thing to consider when we are being honest with players.

Great leadership tool from Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink

People need more discussions about character than lectures!

Our memories shape our future decision making...

If we are committed to learning and growing we have to embrace the hard criticism.

Change your physical state before some hard conversations!

Great Questions are Better than Great Answers

Forget about the + - + sandwich! Use this equation to give the hard feedback in one on one conversations with athletes!

What is the benefit in helping athletes understand why they are making mistakes or poor decisions?

Have you ever filmed yourself coaching and broke it down?

What is greater on your team- the level of fun or the level of conflict?

Empower players by giving them some influence in our focus for the next practice.

How can you discipline to teach and develop character, instead of punish?

Connect and redirect!

Valuing Our Values. Am I coaching by my core values and beliefs? Today is a self-awareness activity for coaches.

Change the environment to deepen the relationship!

Unwilling to let your players plan and run a whole practice? One small step to transfer leadership!

Before enforcement we need encouragement! Before accountability we need advocacy! 2 important reminders for you!

A Mental training activity to do with players when they become frustrated, discouraged, angry etc...

How do I view people in my program? Retrain yourself to see people for who they are NOT what they do.

Create Leaders Get Greater Buy In Appropriate Standards to your Context More Likely to Hold Themselves Accountable

Determining Your Programs Standards!

Mental Toughness Tuesday

How does it feel to be coached by me? Try anonymous surveys all throughout the year. Get insight from athletes and parents. Is the criticism warranted? Yes- learn from it. No- Ask why they might feel this way? Join my mailing list at thriveonchallenge.com

Ask questions- share stories-- have great conversations beyond your sport!

Ask questions, let them prepare scouting report, involve them in the game planning!

We can't just model the character we want to see in our players, but we need to share with them the areas we struggle and model a willingness to learn and grow certain character strengths, qualities, and virtues.

Mental Toughness Tuesdays Write out stresses and anxieties before competition!