Dan Nielsen with Five Minutes

You can't be homesick and home sick.

I obliterated the line I assume Spotify found offensive. I meant no offence to the CIA. They protect us.

Foolishness floats like a spider in a toilet.

It's asking me what I want my audience to know. All is in the episode. Listen and know is all I want you to know.

You can watch on Spotify.

There's not time like the present, but the recent past and the immediate future come pretty close.

Survivalists set the bar too low.

Watch a crumpled piece of paper struggle to resume its previous shape!

I tape my eyes shut when I sneeze.

Ants in the mailbox.

Bubble bath makes me invisible.

This is episode 100. Milestone or millstone?

Listen closely or listen multiple times. Your choice.

RECOMBINATIONISM allows me to recombine familiar elements into new combinations. If anything is not lost, all is not lost.

As his hearing fades, Simon listens better. As his eyesight dims, Simon becomes more observant.

Children should be seen, heard, and respected.

This is the last of these. Next comes more of those.

When I'm funny, people point at me and laugh, but when I'm serious they just point.

If this one gets your blood boiling seek immediate professional help!

Halfway through this chapter is also halfway through the book. This is what is commonly referred to as a "coincidence."

Does an empath feel another's fake emotions as real?

May is Ray & Kay month. It's a FLASH novel in FIVE chapters.

I stand by what I say like strangers on a subway.

Opinions expressed are my own, though I do not value them.

A triumphant return to the classic DNw5M formula!

Welcome to my art studio!

This is me talking to you in a manner of speaking.

I am not a professional stunt driver and this was not a stun. 

Portrait of an alter-egomaniac! 

A Dixie Cup is ice-cream you eat with a stick.

Moe twirls a rosary around his finger like a Salvador Dali hula hoop. 

A Georgia Bellas film staring a duck!

Order THE POTHEAD'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH EMERGENCIES today!

This is a serialized novel in sip-sized doses. It is intended for the squeamish. Too much is too often not for the squeamish. This is. Thank you.  

Someone may be entertained. That is my hope and intent. Thanks for watching! 

History piddles along, here and there, bit by bit, while art happens all at once everywhere.  

Joe is too old for a soul patch. 

DMw5M is now THE MOE & JOE SHOW. This is chapter one. I'll be doing Moe & Joe for the rest of my life or for the next few months whichever ends sooner.       

The universe is infinite only as it continues to expand. Death seems mysterious because we have no memory of being born. What time is it on the moon? 

I am not a medical doctor. These breathing exercises are free applications. Laughter has proven health benefits. Inhale. Pause. Laugh.  

Be the first to recognize the musical quote and be next episode's Person of the Day! 

If you don't know S Milo Williamson, this is your introduction. 

This is my show. I can perform it live. I did. This is it. No Cover. Two drink minimum.   

A little girl sat in a rusted shopping cart. She held a doll with no head. She was sucking on a vanilla sandwich cookie. Cal leaned out the window.

"Just Say Know," Timothy Leary 

Poems by the amazing Darin Zimpel. Red-winged blackbirds singing backup. This one is special. 

Is taking risks worth the risk?

This is your cup of tea. Drink it. 

If you've ever or never listened to an episode this one is for you. 

I have an MA in Psychology and a PhD in Reverse Psychology.