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Dark Side Divas

Dark Side Divas

By Stefannie and Chris
This is a podcast about the Star Wars Saga, from a nerdy Texas woman and a California gay man who loves lightsabers, droids, and shade. We will cover the story of Star Wars with a deep dive in movies and TV shows in chronological order.
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Diva Wars: Senate Spy

Dark Side Divas

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Diva Wars: Padawan and Wookie
For our first anniversary, we cover The Clone Wars episodes "Padawan Lost" (s3e21) and "Wookie Hunt" (s3e22). If you are keeping track, this is the end of the third season of Clone Wars! Stef and Chris open the show going down memory lane, then jump right into these episodes. These episodes had a mixed reaction from the Divas. Still, we loved seeing the chronological debut of one of our favorite characters (Hint: It's a Wookie). We also invent a new counter, talk about Trandoshans, and how the Jedi just like to leave younglings around the galaxy and never look for them. 
01:37:24
October 18, 2021
Diva Wars: Citadel Times Three
In this episode, the divas discuss ANOTHER Clone Wars arch! We cover the citadel trilogy, specifically Clone Wars episodes "The Citadel" (s3e18), "Counterattack" (s3e19), and "Citadel Rescue" (s3e20). These action-packed episodes had many wonderful moments and some heartbreaking ones, so naturally, the divas make fun of all of it. The infamous Captain Tarkin makes his canonical debut. We see an all-star cast of our favorite Star Wars characters, and we see many tragedies. We also make a special announcement at the end of this episode, so make sure to listen to the end! 
01:46:35
October 11, 2021
Diva Wars: Overlords of Mortis
The divas discuss the Mortis arc of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, which includes episodes "Overlords" (e3s15), "Altar of Mortis" (e3s16), and "Ghosts of Mortis" (e3s17). The cosmic force is a big topic and conjures serious discussions about The Force and its interaction with the universe, but Chris and Stef talk about Sam Witwer's hotness instead. So much happens in these episodes, including notable cameos and surprises, plus a ton of foreshadowing for the entire Star Wars story. Listen to this episode for more! 
01:59:50
October 4, 2021
Diva Wars: Night Monster Witches
The Divas are back! We took a short break so Chris could go to Disneyland and prepare for this MONSTER of an episode. In this episode of Dark Side Divas, we discuss the Clone Wars episodes "Nightsisters" (s3e12), "Monster" (s3e13), and "Witches of the West" (s3e14). We loved talking about these episodes, which is why this episode is our longest one to date! We strongly recommend wearing headphones for this episode. The divas get R-rated pretty quickly into this show. 
02:04:14
September 27, 2021
Diva Wars: Pursuit of Murders
The divas discuss The Clone Wars episodes Pursuit of Peace (s3e11) and Senate Murders (s2e15). This episode got a little political, but the divas blame the episodes. They tried to pack A LOT in these two episodes, and our podcast hosts aren't entirely sure why. There's some cool stuff in these episodes, to be sure, 'cause it's Star Wars. Padme gets to be a badass, and we aren't going to complain! The divas discuss the price tag of wars, military contracts, and how Chancellor Palpatine loves the drama. 
01:30:21
September 12, 2021
Diva Wars: Heroes on Both Sides
A Labor Day edition of The Dark Side Divas! In this episode, we cover The Clone Wars episode "Heroes on Both Sides" (s3e10). This episode is technically the first episode of a trilogy. Still, so much happens in this episode the Divas wanted to spend an entire episode on it. That's our story, and we're sticking to it! Chris and Stef discuss listener feedback, the Ashoka versus Luke Skywalker controversy, and love bombing. The episode has many political themes, and the show's influence on post 9-11 politics provokes a significant point of discussion throughout this episode. Don't worry, there's a lot of inappropriate Star Wars sex jokes. 
01:27:32
September 6, 2021
Divas Wars: The Ziro Show
In this episode, the divas cover The Clone Wars episodes "Evil Plans" (s3e8), "Hostage Crisis" (s1e22), and "Hunt for Ziro" (s3e9). We are going by the official StarWars.com chronological list, which requires us to jump between seasons 3 and 1. This episode includes a lot of conversation about stoner Jedi, The Hutt Family, and how awful the security measures are at the senate in Coruscant. Listen for more hilarity and odd Star Wars observations. 
01:49:56
August 30, 2021
Diva Wars: Sphere of Influence
In this episode, the divas discuss The Clone Wars Episode "Sphere of Influence" (s3e4). The divas had mixed opinions about this Star Wars episode. Chris liked it, and Stefannie thought otherwise. The divas take a quick detour about OnlyFans, public criticism, Star Wars visions, and The Fandom Menace. Listen to our episode for more!  
01:33:14
August 22, 2021
Diva Wars: Arc Troopers
In this episode, the Divas discuss one of their favorite Clone Wars episodes, "Arc Troopers" (s3e2). Before this episode, Stef threw Chris at the bottom of the well, which resulted in technical difficulties. Nonetheless, we had a lot of laughs. The divas felt a little "Clone Wars whiplash," considering they didn't enjoy the season's previous episodes. Warning, the divas have way too much fun with the idea that Asajj Ventress was carrying a canister of "DNA" through most of the episode near the end. 
01:25:41
August 15, 2021
Divas Wars: Assassin
In this episode, the Divas discuss The Clone Wars episode "Assassin" (s3e7). If you listened to our previous episode, you might have noticed the Diva's displeasure for the way many of the characters were portrayed. How did they feel about this episode? Before we jump into the episode, Stefannie explains why she is the destroyer of feminism. This episode includes conversations about hot tubs in Coruscant, how often Padme gets woken up by a lightsaber in her bedroom, and why does everyone in this episode sounds bored? 
01:26:03
August 8, 2021
Diva Wars: The Corruption Academy
The dark side is strong with this podcast episode! It was "shark week" for one of our co-hosts, but it isn't what you think. In this episode, we cover Clone Wars episodes "Corruption" (s3e5) and "The Academy" (s3e6). The divas have unkind things to say about these episodes, and they got so mad they almost burned everything down. This episode is the divas darkest episode yet! Listen now and hear why. 
01:36:48
July 31, 2021
Divaland: Star Tours
Lightspeed to to Endor! In this episode, the divas discuss one of the most fantastic theme park rides of all time, Star Tours! Why are the divas talking about a theme park ride instead of Clone Wars? We recently finished season 2 and wanted to take a short break from Anakin red flags, Dooku spreadsheets, and clones dying. The "Star Tours" project cemented the relationship between Lucasfilm and Disney. When Star Tours came out, Disneyland was not in its best state. You could even say Star Wars saved Disneyland. Listen to this episode to hear how! The divas also do many listener questions initially, where we discuss sexual orientation and our favorite clones. 
01:28:58
July 24, 2021
Diva Wars: Boba Madness
Are you ready for Boba Fett?! In this episode we cover The Clone Wars episodes "Death Trap" (s2e20), "R2 Come Home" (s2e21), and "Lethal Lockdown" (s2e22). The divas were looking forward to these episodes, and then they watched them. The divas explain their perspective on these episodes and brutally make fun of them. We also answered some interesting questions about "Darth Revan gatekeeping." Listen to another hilarious episode of The Dark Side Divas.   
01:30:44
July 17, 2021
Diva Wars: Mandalore Madness
We have returned from vacation! We hope everyone had a great holiday week. We took a little break, and now we're back with some Mandalore Madness! In this episode, we cover The Clone Wars episodes "The Mandalore Plot" (s2e12), "Voyage of Temptation" (s2e13), and "Duchess of Mandalore" (s2e14). We drifted from our usual format because these three episodes were so tied together that they should have just been a single episode. The events of this episode impact the star wars universe in a big way, especially with modern Star Wars. Despite how serious these episodes are, we take advantage of the episode dynamics to make fun of...EVERYTHING! Listen to another hilarious episode from the Dark Side Divas! 
01:49:17
July 9, 2021
Divas Wars: Lightsaber Lost
In this episode, the divas discuss The Clone Wars episode "Lightsaber Lost" (s2e11). Ashoka loses her lightsaber and hunts for it with the help of an elder Jedi in the seedy underbelly of Coruscant. The divas didn't think this part of Coruscant looked that bad, but some of the characters freaked them out, and strange discussions about Real Dolls and Hostel Porn take place during this hilarious episode. 
01:26:58
June 27, 2021
Diva Wars: The Deserter
In a special "Disneyland hangover" edition of Diva Wars, this episode discusses The Clone Wars episode "Shirtless Rex,"...Oh, I mean "The Deserter" (s2e10). The divas are a mess in this episode. Things break down about 10 minutes into the show, resulting in hilarity and chaos. Listen to a discussion about reptilian space chicken, sex cloaks, and most importantly - why we love Rex. 
01:21:25
June 19, 2021
Diva Wars: Grievous Intrigue
The divas discuss the Clone Wars episode "Grievous Intrigue" (s2e9). We kick off the show discussing some listener comments from social media, then jump into an episode where we see Grievous execute a devious plot to kill a ton of Jedi - especially Obi-Wan Kenobi. Sadly it doesn't work out for him, despite following his plan perfectly. Tune in to listen for the diva's hilarious take on this episode. 
01:24:39
June 14, 2021
Diva Wars: Legacy of Brain Invaders
In this episode, the Divas discuss the Clone Wars episodes "Legacy of Terror" (s2e7) and "Brain Invaders" (s2e8). We kick off the episode with a discussion that causes a stir on a particular social media platform. Unlike the previous two episodes, which were based on World War 2 stories, these episodes are directly inspired by sci-fi horror movies. The divas were grossed out and horrified by what happens in these episodes. Join them as they discuss how gross brain worms are, why Obi-Wan is still horrible, and the official debut of Darth Vader. 
01:33:31
June 5, 2021
Diva Wars: Landing at Point Factory
In this episode of Dark Side Divas, we cover The Clone Wars episodes 'Landing at Point Rain' (s2e5) and 'Weapons Factory' (s2e6). For the first time since 'Attack of the Clones,' we return to Geonosis. The planet was a giant graveyard for clones and Jedi after the first battle that started The Clone Wars, and these episodes remind us how gruesome this war is. Both of these episodes feature many amazing shots set during a battle that didn't go according to plan for the New Republic. The divas discuss both of these World War 2 inspired episodes in detail, with dark and inappropriate dark humor (of course)!
01:27:52
May 29, 2021
Diva Wars: Senate Spy
The Divas discuss The Clone Wars episode "Senate Spy" (s2e4), which is the beginning of a long story arc. The divas hilariously discuss why this episode had an uncharacteristically odd take on Padme Amidala, Jedi council pimping, and briefly discuss which Jedi is the worst lover. Sometimes our best episodes are the ones where we don't have a positive review of an episode. Join the divas as they discuss Star Wars sexism in its most "entertaining" form. 
01:17:02
May 24, 2021
Diva Wars - The Zillo Beast x2
Even Dark Lords of the Sith can make mistakes! In this podcast episode, the divas discuss The Clone Wars episodes 'The Zillo Beast' (s2e18) and 'The Zillo Beast Strikes Back' (s2e19). The Zillo Beast episodes are homages to the classic Godzilla movies. A "human" caused natural disaster along with a series of bad decisions unleashes a monster powerful enough to destroy an entire city. In this case, when the entire planet is one big city, a lot of death and destruction occurs. The divas break down these amazing episodes in another hilarious episode of Dark Side Divas. 
01:22:15
May 14, 2021
Diva Wars - Bounty Hunters
May the 4th be with you! This episode of Dark Side Divas covers The Clone Wars episode "Bounty Hunters" (s2e17). This episode was a homage to Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece "Seven Samurai" and discuss how the story has been replicated several times throughout the ages, including in Star Wars. Chris and Stefannie discuss the social dynamics of Obi-Wan, Ashoka, and Anakin. Hondo Ohnaka makes an appearance in this episode, and the Divas love him. Since this episode is about "bounty hunters," we discuss a slew of new characters, including which ones seem to last to the beginning of the sequel trilogy. Celebrate the best holiday of the year by listening to another episode of Dark Side Divas!
01:03:51
May 3, 2021
Diva Wars - The Cad Bane Show
In this episode, the Divas cover three Clone Wars episodes: Holocron Heist (s2e1), Cargo of Doom (s2e2), and Children of the Force (s2e3). These are the first episodes of season 2, and the divas noted how amazing the animation is in these episodes. Before the divas jump in to discuss these episodes, we discuss the feedback we got from our Captain EO episode and then begin to discuss the sexiness of Cad Bane. We know there are other characters in these episodes, but really, this is The Cad Bane Show. The Divas also discuss how Palpatine is like a tech start-up founder, Anakin red flags (Hint: so so many), and so much more! Listen to this hilarious episode!
01:33:39
April 26, 2021
Divaland - Captain EO
In this episode, the Divas take a break from Clone Wars to talk about.....Captain EO? Really?! Blame Chris for this one. When Disney purchased Lucasfilms in October 2012, it took many people by surprise, unless you are a massive fan of the Disney Theme Parks. For years Lucasfilm attractions have been a mainstay at several theme parks, and it did not catch Disney theme park fans by surprise when Disney wanted to own Star Wars. Captain EO is a story of the beginning of the relationship between George Lucas and Disney. Stefannie watches Captain EO for the first time, in real-time, on the podcast - and makes fun of it mercilessly. Join the Divas to discuss where Disney was at as a business in the early 80s, Michael Jackson and his weirdness, and robot sex. 
01:07:23
April 8, 2021
Diva Wars: Ryloth x3
Another hilarious episode from the Dark Side Divas, our longest episode yet! We promise it is hilarious. In this episode we discuss Clone Wars episodes 'Storm over Ryloth' (s1e19) , 'Innocents of Ryloth' (s1e20), and 'Liberty Over Ryloth' (s1e21). These are the last episodes for season one of Clone Wars, because the season finale happens much later in the episode chronological order. The divas discuss the hypocrisy of Anakin Skywalker, the awesome-ness of Mace Windu, and Stef gushes over Obi-Wan (again). We also briefly discuss the #releasethelucascut controversy as it pertains to Rise of Skywalker. 
01:30:46
April 1, 2021
Diva Wars: 1000 Blue Shadow Moons
In this episode, the divas discuss Clone War episodes "Blue Shadow Virus" (s1e17) and "Mystery of a Thousand Moons" (s1e18). It was strange watching an episode about the Jedi struggling to contain a lethal virus during COVID, so the episode 'hit' a bit different than it has in the past. The divas do not hold back, sharing their criticisms of these episodes. Why was a Batman villain in the show? Why did the Jedi forget they have powers, and why doesn't clone trooper armor protect against microscopic organisms when it protects them in the vacuum of space? Listen to another hilarious episode of Dark Side Divas now!
01:27:59
March 25, 2021
Diva Wars: Trespass
In this episode, the Divas discuss The Clone Wars episode "Trespass" (s1e15). We start the episode off by talking about what Stef's life is like in Texas now that the Covid restrictions have been lifted, answer some fan questions, and then Chris goes on a rant about Benedict Cumberbach talking shit about playing Grand Admiral Thrawn. We also discuss how the setting for the episode was inspired by Hoth and art from The Empire Strikes back, the strange phallic mouths of the Talz, and so much more! Listen to another hilarious episode by the Dark Side Divas. 
01:07:18
March 19, 2021
Diva Wars: Crash & Defend
We have returned! Real-life impacted us a bit, and we took a week off. This episode was a bit of a train wreck because the divas had an "exciting" week. The outcome of this chaos is another hilarious and fantastic episode. In this episode, we cover Clone Wars episodes "Jedi Crash" (s1e13) and "Defenders of the Peace" (s1e14). We introduce two new counters, discuss how "Jedi-ish" Anakin Skywalker is, the weird Lemur people, pacifism, and a ton of innuendo! 
01:03:22
March 11, 2021
Diva Wars - The Hondo Show
It is time for some Hondo Ohnaka action!!!! In this episode the divas discuss Clone Wars episodes 'Dooku Captured' (s1e11) and 'The Gungan General' (s1e12), but we might as well just call this podcast "The Hondo Show." Listen to Stefannie and Chris discuss the debut of one of their favorite Star Wars characters, and how he thwarted a Sith Lord. The shade is strong with this episode, especially when Obi Wan and Anakin are trying to have the last word on....everything. 
01:00:20
February 25, 2021
Diva Wars: Lair of Grievous
In this episode the Diva's cover the Clone Wars episode 'Lair of Grievous' (s1e10). We discussed the recent news of Gina Carano being let go by Lucasfilms due to her recent social media activity before jumping into the episode. The Divas discuss the aqua sexiness of Jedi Master Kit Fisto, and why we celebrated the destruction of Jedi Knight Nadarr Vebb. We talk a lot about General Grievous, and his...um...pet? Listen to what the Divas think about this episode!
59:43
February 19, 2021
Diva Wars: Cloak of Darkness
In this episode, we cover the Clone Wars episode "Cloak of Darkness" (s1e9). The episode includes the debut of Jedi Master Luminara Unduli, the Irish Grandmother of the Jedi Order. Why was Asajj Ventress selected for this "very important mission," when she hasn't had any real success thus far during the Clone Wars? Why are there so many unfortunate hair choices? What does Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer have in common with this episode? Find out by listening to this episode!
58:22
February 12, 2021
Diva Wars: Bombad Jedi
Messa so happy to see you! The divas cover Clone Wars Episode "Bombad Jedi" (s1e8). Is there anything to the theory that JarJar Binks is actually a Sith Lord? Is the Force strong with him? Do Stefannie and Chris come to blows over this infamous character? We also spend some time answering some listener questions at the top of the show. Listen now and prepare for Muy-Muy entertainment! 
57:55
February 4, 2021
Diva Wars: Droids, Downfall & Duel
Are these the droids you're looking for? The Divas discuss two Clone Wars episodes, Downfall of a Droid (s1e6) and Duel of the Droids (s1e7). The divas discuss the differences between these two episodes and the other Clone Wars episodes we've covered in the past. Listen to the Diva's theories on this episode. Learn how the Divas think about the episode and how Star Wars is like Pizza by listening to our episode! 
01:05:18
January 28, 2021
Diva Wars - Rookies
Roger Roger! In this episode, the divas discuss Clone Wars episode "Rookies" (s1e5). We tried to keep this episode professional, but we utterly failed within 30 seconds of discussing the episode. We discuss how much we live the clones (again!), Obi-Wan and Anakin arguing over which of their clones are the best, and a discussion on how expensive battle droids are. Listen to another hilarious episode from The Dark Side Divas! 
55:22
January 21, 2021
Diva Wars - Malevolence x3
In this episode, Chris and Stefannie discuss the Malevolence trilogy, specifically episodes "Rising Malevolence" (s1e2), "Shadow of Malevolence" (s1e2), and "Destroy Malevolence" (s1e3). In one of our most prolonged episodes yet, the divas discuss the first appearance of General Grievous and the Separatist's new weapon. We noted that the Separatists are amazing at hardware, but not the software since the battle droids are entirely useless (but entertaining). Join the divas as you hear about hyperspace lanes, Padme Amidala's adult toy spaceship, and Palpatine's love of causing drama. 
01:22:05
January 14, 2021
Diva Wars: Ambush
Happy New Year, everyone! For our first episode of 2021, we finally dig into the first official episode for the Clone Wars show, even though chronologically it happens later than other Clone Wars episodes (what?). The episode 'Ambush' (s1e1) is impressive, and we highly recommend it. We kick off our show with Stefannie's colorful description of her allergies, and we immediately move into discussing a full episode dedicated to Master Yoda. Prepare for maximum laughter! 
01:00:05
January 7, 2021
Lego Star Wars Holiday Special
The divas take a break from the clone wars to discuss The Lego Star Wars Holiday Special! It's the holidays, and we felt like being festive. The show is pure chaos, in a good way, and we highly recommend sitting down with your family and watching it. We can't talk about this special without talking about the original Star Wars Holiday special, though Chris wishes he could forget about it. The divas discuss their favorite moments, like how excellent Palpatine is and why Chris loves Tip Yip. Happy Life Day, everyone! We hope you have a wonderful holiday season. 
47:41
December 23, 2020
Diva Wars - Cadets & Supply Lines
The Divas return to cover two memorable Clone Wars episodes, "Clone Cadets" (s3e1) and "Supply Lines" (s3e3). We taped the episode a day after Disney announced a ton of new Star Wars show, so Stefanie and Chris were still overwhelmed with "nerd-gasims" about the announcements. The Divas discuss essential topics, such as having a salt addiction and how awesome Count Dooku's chair is. Listen for more!
59:07
December 19, 2020
Diva Wars: The Clone Wars
The Divas discuss The Clone Wars.....movie? The Clone Wars movie, released in 2008, was intended to be separate episodes. We discuss what the creators would have titled the episodes, why they decided to do this, and how much we love the movie! We talk about Christopher Lee, and Samuel Jackson are doing the voices for their Star Wars characters, Palpatine's plastic surgery, Ziro the Hutt's fabulousness, the debut of Ahsoka Tano, and so much more!
01:14:35
December 11, 2020
Diva Wars - The Hidden Enemy
In this episode, The Divas review the clone wars episode "The Hidden Enemy" ( s1e16 ). Chris introduces two new counters, and Stefannie goes full geek mode discussing the evolution of clone armor. Asajj Ventress makes her official canon debut and outsmarts the Jedi. Obi-Wan is still cooky, but Anakin wasn't as "dark sided" as he has been in previous ventures. Along with all this Star Wars awesomeness, we take a detour about NPR recipes and Star Wars pinup art, and galactic fetishes! 
01:07:04
December 3, 2020
Diva Wars - Cat & Mouse
The Divas review the first clone wars episode in the official chronological order, Cat & Mouse ( s2e16 )...wait...Season Two, Episode 16?! Why are we watching out of order?! Stefannie explains why some episodes are out of order, along with covering all of the essential things about this episode - like Bail Organa's cheekbones! Before we discuss the clone wars episode, we briefly discuss why Mandalorian armor is getting canceled, then focus on an episode that introduces us to Admiral Trench, the planet "Christophsisisisisisisisis." We demonstrate how to talk "Clone Wars Narrator" in bed, and WHY IS ANAKIN SKYWALKER BEING REWARDED FOR NEVER FOLLOWING ORDERS?! Listen to our first review of a Clone Wars episode! 
56:53
November 26, 2020
Diva Wars - Tartakovsky
Innovative animation genius Genndy Tartakovsky created the first Clone Wars series. It was an animated mini-series that connected Attack of the Clones to Revenge of the Sith. The show was a massive success and led to the creation of a more fleshed-out Clone Wars series. We see the introduction of major Star Wars characters like General Grievous and Asajj Ventress, and how Anakin becomes a Jedi Knight. The divas discuss important topics like should this show be canon, the state of the Jedi order during the clone wars, Chancellor Palpatine's love of "power pube" robes, and why Anakin is a relentless warrior. Join the divas as they give their thoughts on this version of the clone wars. 
58:09
November 18, 2020
Attack of the Divas
The Divas talk about Star Wars Episode II (or TWO!): Attack of the Clones. Not our favorite Star Wars. Chris thought he loved everything Star Wars, and rewatching the movie proved him wrong. We talk about the creepiness of Anakin, why the Jedi are assholes, and so much more! 
01:22:32
November 10, 2020
Meet the Divas
The first episode of Dark Side Divas! Meet Stefannie and Chris, who love Star Wars! We plan to cover everything Star Wars in chronological order! We discuss why we love Star Wars, and well....things Stefannie doesn't like (Chris thinks Jar Jar is awesome!). Listen to our debut episode and get ready for lots of tea....and shade, about a Galaxy far far away. 
38:50
October 17, 2020
The Phantom Divas
The Divas start their journey discussing Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. Chris makes it his quest to get Stefannie to admit Jar Jar is great. We discuss what we love about the movie, and what we don't love. Find out what Chris thinks the Jedi are a bunch of assholes, and why Stefannie L-O-V-E-S Obi Wan.
01:15:25
October 12, 2020