Full Court Chat with Dave Schilling

The truth is revealed. A hero will rise. The Bubble is burst. Goodbye, and thanks for the memories.

In the series two finale of Full Court Chat, Dave takes time out of his busy schedule of walking on a secluded bike path for 15 minutes every day to speak to Stanley Purchase (Demi Adejuyigbe: Gilmore Guys, The Good Place, Late Late Show With James Corden), boy wonder and teenage NBA superfan. Little Stanley loves the NBA so much that he drank gallons and gallons of Sprite and checking hundreds of bottle caps in order to win a contest to be the only fan in attendance during the NBA bubble. You might not see Stanley on the ESPN or TNT broadcasts, but he's there. He's always there...taking notes for some reason. Stanley says the NBA is hiding a dark secret that only he has uncovered. The truth could bring down the entire sport. Can Dave save the day...or will his ankle bracelet explode first?

It's time to embrace debate! Today, Full Court Chat gets a First Take makeover, as Dave moderates a heated conversation between ESPN pundit Stephen A. Smith (Jacquis Neal: Culture Kings podcast) and National Basketball Players Association Executive Director Michele Roberts (Niccole Thurman: A Black Lady Sketch Show, Shrill, The Opposition With Jordan Klepper). Stephen and Michele debate sex in the NBA bubble, player safety,  LeBron James's political activism, and, oh yeah, all those cameras in the hotel rooms Dave won't shut up about.

The Oura Ring, called the "key to finishing the [NBA] season" by Sports Illustrated, is the wonder device that athletes can wear to find out if they have symptoms of COVID-19 during the NBA's bubble season. Through the magic of journalism, Dave Schilling (journalist) secured an interview with the inventor of the Oura Ring, Dr. Lavan British (Laci Mosley: Scam Goddess Podcast, Single Parents), who explains why she created it and some of the more remarkable applications for the device. The Oura Ring can detect signs of COVID infection, but did you know it can also tell if you're cheating on your wife? The Future Is Now, and Dave Schilling is 100 percent balls deep in the future.

The Lakers are gunning for their 17th NBA Championship during this wild bubble season. At the center of that historic chase is J.R. Smith (Josiah Johnson: Comedy Central's Legends of Chamberlain Heights), a player best described as the Mr. Bean of the NBA. Instead of practicing, J.R. is sneaking weed into Disney World up his butt and falling asleep during media availabilities. Tune in this week to hear J.R. discuss his relationship with LeBron James, the finer points of throwing soup at another grown adult, and how best to receive "that pipe."

Josiah Johnson: J.R. Smith

Utah Jazz center Rudy Gobert (Carl Tart: Comedy Bang Bang, The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine) is a man of many talents: basketball, wine connoisseurship, playing Zelda, etc. But did you know he also loves open-mouth kissing strangers? This is one of the many shocking revelations in this week's episode of Full Court Chat. Dave remains inside the NBA bubble, thrilling to the hot basketball action while also trying to stay alive. After all, there's still a bomb strapped to Dave's ankle set to go off in the event he comes within six feet of an NBA superstar. If he gets too close to Rudy, who wants nothing more than to cough directly into Dave's mouth, it could be "game over" for our hero.

Rudy Gobert: Carl Tart

The teams have arrived. The positive tests are down to zero. Lou Williams went to Magic City and was never heard from again. But Dave has some complaints about the accommodations inside the Walt Disney World NBA Bubble. Some anonymous complaints. Most of them are about ESPN reporter Brian Windhorst.

The year is 2020. Earth is a techno-dystopia of disease, famine, and paranoia. Also, basketball. Serious journalist Dave Schilling (Bleacher Report, ESPN, Bet630GamblingSite.net) reports on all the drama and excitement from inside the NBA Bubble at Walt Disney World. While the planet copes with the COVID-19 pandemic, Dave and his fellow elite NBA writers enjoy boxed lunches, wine on demand, and 24/7 surveillance from the most advanced civilian monitoring network in history. 

The passion. The intensity. The ankle bracelets. The NBA: It's fantastic!

Full Court Chat is back! Maybe! Dave has received an email from a mysterious benefactor, promising to advertise on the show. A lifeline. A life preserver. One of those little floaty noodles they give to kids who can't swim. Noah John Jacobs says he has a product he wants to advertise on the show, and he's also willing to pay! This could be exactly what Dave needs to keep the show afloat, or it could be the curse that finally kills it dead.

It's the season finale, and Dave is on the brink of losing it. Without sponsors, there's no way he can continue the show. His final, Hail Mary guest is professional wrestler Reggie Brubaker (Jon Gabrus: Comedy Bang Bang, Drunk History). Considering Dave's illustrious career as a writer for WWE, this guest should be a real "slam dunk," but Reggie proves to be a danger to both society and to himself. Can Dave keep it together long enough to finish the episode, or will Reggie drive him over the edge?

Formula 1 race car driver Cedric DeVane (Lou Wilson: The King of Staten Island, American Vandal) has always wanted to be the best, but for most of his career, he's had to settle for second place. Growing up black in South Los Angeles, the Italian racer had dreams of being a champion, but tragedy struck and changed everything. Do I ask him about this horrible boating accident that almost killed him, even though his publicists told me not to? Of course. This is real journalism, folks.

Precious lil Leslie Bopkin is one of the most promising young gymnasts in America. At 13-years-old, the Dyersberg, Tennessee, native is as close to a shoe-in for the next Summer Olympics as anyone. She's a superstar in the making, but she's not the guest this week. In fact, Leslie has never spoken to the media, thanks to her mother, Shelly Bopkin (Kristen Studard: I Think You Should Leave, The Mindy Project, Who Cares About the Rock Hall podcast), who strong-armed herself onto the show in her daughter's place. Shelly discusses her recent viral fame, being a gymnastics mom, and how she prevents her daughter from achieving puberty.

1970s NFL icon Preacher Stubbs (Carl Tart: Comedy Bang Bang, The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine) joins the show to tell Dave (Dave Schilling: Sports Journalism) about true smashmouth football, lament how soft today's NFL is, and confess to an unspeakable crime.