Britalian

Turns out, I can talk for 17 minutes straight about Christmas in Great Britain (and Italy).

Also, turns out I cannot sing, but I decided to do it publicly on a podcast anyway, because in 2020 why not.

Bonus episode: yes, Great Britain, I love you. You don’t believe me? I’ve told you at least 34 times.

I can’t find a good equivalent into English for some Italian words, and that’s a shame. How will I say ti voglio bene in English?

You know when you wake up having a bad day? This is one of those days. Days when UK does not feel like home.

Hell must be lined with carpet. Heaven will be tiled.

Part of the integration process is accepting and adapting to local manners. Will Britons ever accept my loudness and bluntness? Will Italians accept my greetings cards?

When you’re an expat, you have three favourite complaint topics: weather, food and language. If you come from Italy, it’s mainly complaints about food. Except if you are a Britalian.

"Brew? Let me put the kettle on. How do you like your tea?"

"Just normal, please".

"Normal? What does normal even mean?"

“Do I sound British?” “Of course you don’t sound British. But you don’t have to change your accent. Just…own it. Wear it”.

Where’s home for me? Well, I suppose Manchester is home now. But so is my hometown. So, what makes one feel home?

What happens when you, an EU citizen living in Britain, find out that your application to stay in the country you’ve lived, studied, worked, loved in for the past six years is rejected? First, you have a meltdown, then you write a podcast to complain to the Home Office.

Please grant me Settled Status.

Cover art: Ramona Bruno @ramaflowers

Intro music: Karakurenai by Andy Akiho, additional music: The Toy Robot’s Mechanical Heart, by Christopher Adler, both played by Passepartout Duo @passepartoutduo

Welcome to Britalian, a podcast that was born from the very unsettling experience of applying for settled status, also known as a badly planned way to manage the legal situation of the European citizens in Great Britain after Brexit. That’s quite a mouthful! I’ve been living in Britain for 6 years but at first my application was rejected.

It was an experience that made me sit down and consider if this is really the country I want to spend the rest of my life in. I thought about it. Short answer, yes.

So now what? I am an Italian repotted in British ground. British. Italian. Such far away identities. Should I keep them separate and feel constantly pulled between the two, or embrace the new one? Should I have a split personality?

But how do I reconcile my national identity with a new one? Do I need to feel British to fully integrate myself, or can I maintain my original identity? And will Britishness take over my identity, will they sit comfortably side by side, or will they blend together? Can I pick and mix what I like? And first and above all, what is Britishness?

Is it talking about the weather all the time?

Drinking tea?

Received Pronunciation?

Stiff upper lip?

Getting pissed on a Friday night?

This is starting to sound like a bunch of stereotypes

So here it is, a sort of diary to track my attempts at becoming more British and coming to term with my new home. An exploration into Britain beyond stereotypes, and a recount of the differences that make me stop and laugh.

Welcome to Britalian.