The Decoding Couples Podcast: Unfiltered Relationship Advice & Marriage Tips

E31: Lorena - Post Partum & Relationships 

Communication, kids and boundaries oh my! Here are the top things that we wish we had talked about before marriage, moving in together, joining finances, kids and generally just getting serious with a partner!

Ready to have the hard conversations so you don’t look back and think “we SHOULD have talked about this!?”..then don’t miss your exclusive discount for Before The Next Step Online Course

Does your partner have ADHD? Is your relationship impacted by ADHD? Do you struggle with how to support your partner? Lorena Aynalem, LCSW joins Rachel & Stacey from Decoding Couples to unpack the big and small ways neurodivergence, specifically ADHD, impacts everyone in the relationship and how to move forward and continue to thrive in the partnership.

Have you ever thought this about your relationship or marriage:  “Our highs are so high, but the lows are so low” 

Have you ever wondered why you can’t get out of an unhealthy or toxic relationship pattern? 

Then you need to listen to today’s episode about trauma bonding!

Loving You Is Hurting Me- by Dr Laura Copley’s 

Has pornography been a problem in your relationship? Rachel and Stacey break down the pros and cons of porn in relationships and how to navigate this topic with your partner in a way that increases trust and decreases shame. 

Where to find ethical porn:

This week, Rachel and Stacey are breaking down common relationship phrases that are meant to be helpful to you and your partnership…but need a little explaining out of therapy jargon! Listen in to learn phrases and tools that will ACTUALLY translate into relationship advice!

Remember to take advantage of our FREE Masterclass Stop Fighting Start Talking:

If you are tired of getting shut down or shutting down during conversations with a partner(s)...this episode is for you! Stacey and Rachel identify the most common communication problems and what conflict resolution looks like when it happens! These are marriage tips and relationship advice you don’t want to miss! Download the free PDF we mention in this episode from the link below! 

Enroll in our FREE Masterclass Stop Fighting Start Talking:

Have you ever been rejected in the bedroom? Do you have shame around intimacy? Then this episode is for you! Stacey & Rachel break down how shame and rejection show up in relationships, how it impacts relationship dynamics and ways to work through shame and rejection in order to improve intimacy!

Enroll in our FREE Masterclass Stop Fighting Start Talking:

You asked, we answered! This episode is dedicated to answering the questions you submitted on IG @decoding_couples ! We cover how to tell if a relationship is compatible or not, how to help a partner with coping skills, what’s the difference between a relationship going through a hard time and an unhealthy relationship, plus many more! 

Remember to take advantage of our FREE Masterclass Stop Fighting Start Talking:

If any of these relationship problems are present in your partnership: tit for tat / defensiveness, one foot out the door & contempt…you don’t want to miss this episode. Learn what these look like and why these relationship dynamics destroy partnerships. 

Want to get out of stuck cycles and repair differently? Enroll in our FREE Masterclass Stop Fighting Start Talking:

How do you have a healthy relationship when the roles & responsibilities feel so uneven? Laura Danger sheds jaw dropping light on how the patriarchy sets up men and women to fail in partnerships. This episode explores the root of relationship problems with the mental load and our ability to have conflict resolution with our partners. This week's DC in the DMs has Laura & Stacey in the hot seat, answering questions from the Decoding Couples community on if what they need is, "too much" or just basic partnership requirements.

Show us some love! Like, subscribe and review our podcast if you enjoyed this episode!

Learn more about our expert guest Laura Danger here: https://www.thatdarnchat.com/fair-play

If you struggle with jealousy, trust issues and boundaries because of an ex…don’t miss this week's episode. Past relationships are always going to be a part of your current relationship dynamics...but how much is up to you! You don’t want to miss the DC in the DMS where Rachel takes on stories of ex’s and if she thinks something shady is going on, and how’d she handle your ex scenarios!

So many relationship problems include struggling with mental health...but we don't talk about it enough. This is especially true when anxiety and depression impacts one partner and not the other. Stacey & Rachel give relationship advice on what can be unhelpful in trying to support a struggling partner as well as what to do to provide support to all parties involved. Rachel answers DMs this episode giving her thoughts on how to handle different relational challenges with anxiety and depression is involved. 

In this episode, Rachel and Stacey are joined by therapist Mac Stanley Cazeau to talk about the changes to intimacy and sex throughout the span of a relationship. Mac shares the male perspective performance, body and sexual changes and how these impact intimacy and romantic relationships. They end by sharing proactive and in the moment tips to maintain a healthy intimate life for long term relationships and how to get out of a dry spell.  Rachel and Mac are answering the DC in the DMs where they give their tips on how to get out of different intimacy barriers and dilemmas the DC community has shared.

Stacey and Rachel dive into the idea of “daddy issues” and “mother wounds”. They discuss what creates those types of wounds and how they show up in adult relationships. They also touch on what can happen as a result of losing a parent at a young age or never having met a parent figure at all. Rachel and Stacey give multiple ideas and thoughts around “what to do now” if you realize you are dating or in a relationship with someone like one of your parents and how to grow together to break past patterns. Stacey is on the hotseat for DC in the DMs this week doing rapid fire on if certain behaviors are “nature” or “nurture”...you won’t want to miss the last one!

Buckle up! This episode dives deeper than the typical cheating/infidelity discussions you've heard before. While we agree cheating is an incredibly heartbreaking experience for the betrayed to go through and is a choice that has huge life changing implications...we wanted to have a deeper conversation about the motivation behind why people do it. In this episode, Rachel and Stacey are joined by therapist Mac Stanley Cazeau LMHC to explore why people cheat. Rachel, Stacey They discuss how to define what counts as cheating, emotional affairs and the idea of limerence. Mac and Stacey are on the hot seat for DC in the DMs where they rapid fire answer “cheating” or “not cheating” for different community experiences.

Rachel and Stacey start off by admitting what gets them defensive. They also talk about how it shows up & impacts their relationships. They review how defensiveness gets created, the purpose defensiveness serves and tips on how to work through defensiveness and talk about it with your partner. DC in the DMs puts Rachel on the hotseat answering how she would respond to different situations where defensiveness is at play.

This episode covers the impacts no one talks about when it comes to kids + relationships. Rachel and Stacey talk about how their marriages changed after kids, why relational satisfaction takes such a hit, and the positive changes that can come from parenthood.

DC in the DMS puts Rachel on the spot responding to community experiences about changes in relationships after kids. You do NOT want to miss her hot takes and direct advice in this segment.

This episode is part 1 covering how your family of origin impacts adult relationships.  Rachel and Stacey talk about the common sentiment “I’ll never date someone who is like my dad/mom/caregiver” and why it is really likely that you WILL date someone who was like your parent. Rachel and Stacey talk about how they have dated partner’s like their parents and what that looked like for them. This episode dives into the unconscious and conscious process of repeating relationship patterns and dynamics that you experienced growing up, why it happens, what warning signs to look for that isn’t happening and what you can be aware of in yourself to have a corrective experience with your partner.

For this  week’s DC in the DMs, Stacey is in the hot seat responding to the question “what happens in your family that your partner(s) think is weird/odd but you think is completely normal”. You don’t want to miss this one as Rachel learns some new, hilarious facts about Stacey and her family!

This episode tackles all things couples therapy! Rachel & Stacey explore why couples therapy gets such a bad rap and what typically lands couples in therapy. They share their experiences in couples (including what went wrong!) and when individual therapy is more appropriate than couples therapy. 

This weeks DC in the DMs is a little different: Stacey & Rachel were flooded with couples therapy horror stories from their Instagram community, so they set the record straight on exactly what to expect and NOT expect in couples therapy. 

If you are in an unsafe, toxic or abuse relationship, you can find support 24/7 here: https://www.thehotline.org/

Rachel and Stacey dive into the magical world of rom-coms, Disney movies and how that has set them up for relationship failure. From relationship expectations to sex and intimacy, Rachel and Stacey discuss different ways the make-believe of movies and tv shows have impacted their romantic relationships and how they show up with their partners. They answer DC community questions on adjusting to “real life” relationships and how to make sense of what real love looks like outside Lifetime movies.Rachel is in the hot seat for this episode's DC in the DMs where she gives her take on what relationship expectations are realistic or “Disney”.

Rachel and Stacey share their experiences of how the lines blur between their professional roles as couples therapists and regular ol’ people when it comes to relationships and mental health struggles. Rachel discusses how being a professional “soul walker” in private practice impacts her marriage. Stacey shares her struggles with depression and anxiety as well as her experience sharing her medication journey with the Decoding Couples community on Instagram. This week Stacey is in the hot seat for DC in the DM’s where she's asked about relationship experiences that potentially “blur the lines” between kosher and break up worthy behavior.