Episode 135 (1.14.22) - Ocean's 17 by Stephanie Meyer
Finally, the end is here. Carolyn & Merrin review Twilight: Breaking Dawn pt 2. They talk high camp, Bob Newhart, Merrin pokes holes in the world building, and Carolyn is just happy to still be alive. Plus: Ranking all 5 Twilights, an actual movie you SHOULD watch, and how we're going to pick our next movie.
January 30, 2022
Episode 134 (12.13.21) - The One With the D*** of a Killer
The terror train continues down the tracks as Carolyn and Merrin are back for more Deep in the Heart of Twilight, a new series that (thankfully) can only possibly have one more entry. Is that one too many? (Yes, yes it is.) Carolyn & Merrin discuss vampire erections and more instances of Stephanie Meyer's epic failures as an author. Carolyn plans a wedding, Merrin has story time, and they both recommend better things to watch. Trigger warnings for body horror pertaining to pregnancy throughout the episode, but we start going in depth around minute 40.
December 13, 2021
Ep 133 (10.18.21) - The One with No Backstory
Well, it's time for part three of Deep in the Heart of Twilight, just in time for Halloween! Can this series get any worse? (Spoiler: Yes. Yes it can.) Carolyn & Merrin dissect more red flags, more bizarre vampire biology, and more inexplicable actions by Bella, Edward, and Jake. Someone achieves character growth, and you'll never guess who! And what does Andrew Lloyd Weber have to do with any of this? It's time to pick your own apocalypse.
October 28, 2021
Ep 132 (9.12.21) - The One with Chekov's Metaphor
We regret to inform you that it is another Deep in the Heart of Twilight episode. This time Carolyn & Merrin tackle Twilight: New Moon, the second movie in what appears to be a never ending series. More vampires, more werewolves, more glaring red flags. Can we find anything we liked about this movie? Listen and see!
September 22, 2021
Ep 131 (8.21.21) - The One that's Team Charlie
Carolyn & Merrin continue to not talk about Hockey, but do want to keep talking, so instead, it's a DHH special episode! Twilight: It's bad. But is it as bad as the Dallas Stars will be this coming season? How many red flags do we find? Are there any redeeming qualities for this film? Sometimes you just have to pivot.
August 23, 2021
Ep 130 (3.7.2021) - The One that Doesn't Eat People
Everything is terrible! Well, not today, Satan! It's the first-ever All Happy Things episode! That's right, no Stars, no Stats, only feel-good shenanigans. Join Carolyn and Merrin as they talk about pie, cute animals, dragons, nomads, and so much more. Is a muffin a bread? Only time will tell!
March 08, 2021
Ep 129 (2.1.21) - The One that Knows Its Strengths
The Dallas Stars are back and defying expectations on both sides of the coin. Merrin incurs the wrath of musical fans, Carolyn gets mean, the Red Wings make your fantasies come true, and the only Great Gatsby adaptation you need. Now with 50% less editing and 50% more ghosts! Important Link: The Branden Tanev headshot If you enjoyed this very "behind the scenes" version of our podcast, subscribe! Or leave us a review on apple podcasts or the podcasting app of your choice.
February 02, 2021
Ep 128 (1.1.21) - The One That's a Work In Progress
New year, same Deep in the Heart of Hockey! The NHL is making a lot of choices, the Stars have some new divisional rivals, Carolyn gets what she wants, and Merrin is planning for retirement. Remember, you can only see it if you don't look directly at it. Wishing you a 2021 full of campground toilets and absolutely no snakes!
January 03, 2021
Ep 127 (11.22.20) - The One in Those Shorts
It's a very special MERRIN (and Carolyn) REACTS!! episode of Deep in the Heart of Hockey! This podcast is a reaction/commentary track to be listened to alongside the Dallas Stars' documentary "We're Not Going Home: The 2020 Dallas Stars Playoff Run". Practice your best Bowness impression with Carolyn. Scream alongside Merrin as a certain captain shows off the goods. Sob with them both as the Stars lose the Stanley Cup Final, again. God, we love hockey. The uncensored documentary can be watched on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TGgBurOrtM
November 23, 2020
Ep 126 (10.17.20) - The One that's 60 Minutes of Something
Carolyn & Merrin tackle the Stars' quiet free agency, low revenues, and betting on yourself. Plus, the best episodes of TV, and how to balance a roster, astrologically speaking. It's a Deep in the Heart of Hockey first! If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe! Or give us a nice rating and review on Apple Podcasts or the podcast app of your choice.
October 19, 2020
Ep 125 (10.4.20) - The One that Cries for a Reason
Carolyn, Merrin, and our DHH listeners take a trip down playoff run memory lane! Plus, schadenfreude, cat-like tendencies, makeshift hats, and the complete and utter DISRESPECT. Do the Stars have what it takes to win the Stanley Cup in the next few years? Only one thing is clear -- wash your damn rice.
October 05, 2020
Ep 124 (9.15.20) - The One with the Opportunity Faucet
THE STARS ARE GOING TO THE STANLEY CUP FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Carolyn & Merrin reminisce on what it's meant to be a Stars fan for the past six years. Plus, putting your money where your mouth is, decidedly un-empty threats, and literal stargazing. Fire up the coffee maker because it's nothing but spite and enthusiasm from here on out.
September 16, 2020
Ep 123 (8.15.20) The One that Runs on Friendship
The real playoffs are underway and the Stars are doing Stars things. Carolyn & Merrin talk coaching decisions, Merrin reacts to updates around the league, Carolyn thinks this might be the year, and Miro Heiskanen wins the Sefie. We're all here, when we wish we could be /here/. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe! Or give us a nice rating and review on Apple Podcasts or the podcast app of your choice.
August 17, 2020
Ep 122 (8.1.20) - The One that's Not an Axolotl
The Playoff Play-in rounds have started, but has anyone told the Stars that? Carolyn & Merrin try to set expectations, accidentally drag Jamie Oleksiak, discuss baseball movie conspiracy theories, have awkward family dinners, and Stars Charts goes feral. Find your own Primal Astrology sign at: https://www.primalastrology.com/primal-zodiac-by-combination.html If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe! Or give us a nice rating and review on Apple Podcasts or the podcast app of your choice.
August 03, 2020
Ep 121 (7.18.20) - The One with a Growth Mindset
After a lengthy debate about how to return to play, NHL summer training camps have kicked off! Carolyn is sick to her stomach, Merrin is infuriated by the Avengers, Tyler Seguin's perfect (or not) and Roman Polak is no longer with us. How will the Stars fare to close out 2020? We don't know! All we can do is focus on personal growth. If you'd like to donate to any of the charities mentioned on today's episode, they can be found at the following links: Brooklyn Defender Services: bit.ly/hotonrikers The Okra Project: www.theokraproject.com Local Food Banks can be found best by googling "food bank" and your zip code National Bail Out: www.nationalbailout.org Texas Civil Rights Project: www.txcivilrights.org
July 20, 2020
Ep 120 (6.23.20) - The One that Burns Calories
Hockey's back and so are we with our longest episode ever! Carolyn becomes a free agent, Merrin goes full Princess Bride, the NHL has their head in the sand, and no one understands the playoff format. Plus, Orlando Bloom wants you to read more and Black Lives Matter. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe! Or give us a nice rating and review on Apple Podcasts or the podcast app of your choice.
June 24, 2020
Ep 119 (5.11.20) - The One That's an Anachronism
The most Quarantine episode yet! Carolyn muses about the nature of fandom, the AHL makes good choices, Merrin gives a TED talk and no one should be trading Klingberg. How did we ever survive our very bad genes? It's the one that can't prove 2018 exists! If you enjoy our podcast why don't you leave it 5 stars on whichever podcast app you use! Thank you for listening, and remember - you're doing great.
May 14, 2020
Ep 118 (4.26.20) - The One with the Ellipses
For the first time in literal months, Carolyn & Merrin talk about hockey! Of course, the topic is "How Dumb is the NHL" but we'll take what we can get. Plus, time travel, how to choose a favorite team, the depths of google, and yes, EVEN MORE TIME TRAVEL. You're doing so good, guys. If you liked this podcast go ahead and hit that five star button, or even leave us a review! We appreciate your support so much.
April 28, 2020
Ep 117 (4.12.20) - The One with the Mutual Appreciation Curve
The hockey news is all sad this week, so Carolyn and Merrin do their best to find things that make them laugh. Like Nicole Byer! She's great. Plus, all-in for All Dressed, making BBQ enemies, and everyone loves fake dating. It's the podcast that contemplates the true nature of sports! If you enjoy our little show, go ahead and rate, review and subscribe!
April 14, 2020
Ep 116 (4.01.20) - The One with an Apocalypse You Can Believe In
It's the first podcast of the unofficial NHL offseason, and Carolyn and Merrin are doing their best. Carolyn gets The Rona, Merrin loves Picard, and hockey players can dance??? Plus, pro-social behavior in a time of crisis, the true nature of squid, and sexy flashcards. Check out the Carrick TikTok here: https://vm.tiktok.com/GorCp4/ If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us a review! Or rate us! Or just tell your friends! Or just send positive vibes our way, it's all good.
April 02, 2020
Ep 115 (3.14.20) The One with Five Pounds of Blueberries
Carolyn & Merrin talk Stars hockey in a time of coronavirus! Is the season ending a best case scenario for the Red Wings? And what is there to DO without hockey? Plus, Merrin hoards fruit, Carolyn wants to be a witch, and more discussion of Tyler Seguin's nipples. We're asking all our listeners to take COVID-19 seriously. Practice social distancing, wash your hands, and ask your loved ones to do the same. We'll get through this together! If you enjoyed our podcast, subscribe and leave us a nice review on Apple Podcasts or your podcatcher of choice.
March 16, 2020
Ep 114 (3.2.20) - The One with the Warm Milk
Carolyn and Merrin tackle the big questions, such as: Are the Stars actually good? What is the corona effect? Why does xG lie? What made 80s cartoons good then and bad now? Plus, Carolyn won't eat fish and Merrin finally breaks.
March 04, 2020
Ep 113 (2.16.20) The One with the Teen Wisdom
Carolyn & Merrin discuss the Stars' winning ways, Baby Rookie Jason Robertson, the Bissonnette-Carcillo feud and the nature of apology. Plus: "casual" in quotes, trade proposals, and the only man good enough for Veronica Mars.
February 17, 2020
Ep 112 (02.02.2020) - The One with the Rocky Road
Fresh out of new Stars hot takes, Carolyn and Merrin talk about the next best thing: goalie fights and grudges. Also, does Rick Bowness actually hate fun?
February 03, 2020
Ep 111 (1.18.20) - The One with the VCR
Carolyn & Merrin discuss the Stars' recent play - at length. Plus, loyal-to-a-fault Jim Nill, Vegas wins the "what what what are you doing" of the week, trade deadline predictions, and Tyler Seguin, Bard. Remember kids, it's not the wins that matter, it's how you get there.
January 20, 2020
Ep 110 (1.5.20) - The One with the Sexy Lamp
Carolyn & Merrin go to the Winter Classic! They recount their whole experience, chat about Monty's statement, and see what's in the cards for Corey Perry. Plus, ranking the Fast & Furious franchise and new career paths for Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin? Don't get too horny on that rope!
January 06, 2020
Ep 109 (12.19.19) - The One with the Jacked Baby
Carolyn & Merrin talk coaching conspiracy theories, childhood accents, Taylor Hall trade, and Czech Christmas traditions. Merrin is disgusted, Carolyn embarrasses herself and someone on the Stars is two-c's thicc.
December 21, 2019
Ep 108 (12.8.19) - The One that's Not Crying
Carolyn & Merrin get heavy with a discussion of Bill Peters and accountability, and scratch Radulov, while Carolyn reveals a hidden talent, and Merrin's hungover. Let's be pedantic about Star Wars together! If you enjoy our podcast, go ahead and hit that 5-star button! We'd really appreciate it.
December 09, 2019
Ep 107 (11.24.19) - The One that Forgot about Babcock
The Stars (finally) have a winning season, Merrin is super sleepy, and Carolyn loves D&D. Business as usual? Plus, when is a klobasnik also a kolache?
November 25, 2019
Ep 106 (11.11.19) - The One that's a Beautiful Mosaic
All the Stars are dead! Well, it feels like that anyway. Carolyn & Merrin talk Dallas' recent run of good play, big name criticism, the positive outcomes of climate change, having too many feelings, and sexy holiday flavors. This is what happens when a podcast stops being polite and starts getting real. You can find Mike Murphy's amazing NWHL stats spreadsheet here and you can follow him on twitter @DigDeepBSB.
November 13, 2019
Ep 105 (10.26.19) - The One Giving a Pep Talk
Things are looking up! Merrin has a cold, Carolyn plots a betrayal, and Joe Pavelski is celibate? Plus xG Scandals and defending M. Night Shyamalan. Let's get horny for some monsters! To listen to Gurianov's beat boxing click here: https://puckinginsane.tumblr.com/post/188606343452/hertl/amp?__twitter_impression=true
October 28, 2019
Ep 104 (10.12.19) - The One in Group Therapy
Hockey is back... technically. Carolyn and Merrin discuss the Stars' slow start, advocate for team therapy, learn they've been living all wrong, try to fathom what the planets have in store, and judge a costume competition.
October 14, 2019
Ep 103 (9.29.19) The One with Boblin
The preseason is dead! Long live the regular season! In the last episode before actual hockey starts, Carolyn & Merrin try to make some pairing predictions, Merrin is insulted by the internet, Carolyn has a week, and it's goblins all the way down.
September 30, 2019
Ep 102 (9.15.19) - The One that Reads Reddit
It's officially preseason! Yay! Carolyn & Merrin actually talk about hockey (for once). Like why do the Stars hate Julius Honka? Which prospect would be the best to date? How did Mitch Marner get that contract? He's that old? And why aren't there any good Stars puns?
September 16, 2019
Ep 101 (8.17.19) - The One with the Time Travel
Hockey's still a month away! Oh no! Paul Fenton gets fired, Merrin can never pull a Jim Benning, Carolyn needs some advice, the team gets a pet, and the world's going to end. Is it October yet?
August 20, 2019
Ep 100 (7.20.19) The One that Starts a Cult
It's the doldrums of the offseason so what better time to start a cult! Carolyn & Merrin talk Stars' vacations, the unsung hockey brothers, capitalism and mental health, Merrin gets married, Carolyn becomes her mother, and everyone lets Jen down.
July 22, 2019
Ep 99 (7.8.19) - The One with the Mean Teens
Carolyn & Merrin assess the Stars' big free agency signings, make a Corey Perry contingency plan, and talk hypothetical pregnancies. Plus Merrin makes an impossible choice and Carolyn confesses a dark secret.
July 09, 2019
Ep 98 (6.23.19) - The One in the Octagon
Carolyn & Merrin are joined by special guest Hannah Stuart (@HockeywthHannah) to school us on the NHL Draft. We talk Draft winners, big surprises, battle royales, the American development model, the best buddy cop duo ever, prospect stats, and Tom Hardy: hockey player.
June 24, 2019
Ep 97 (6.8.19) - The One Built in Geocities
It's summer time and the living is easy! The Stars are taking a break, which means Carolyn & Merrin have to vamp for an hour! Good Omens, Roman Polak: universal constant, Team Sexy, and the best website on the internet.
June 10, 2019
Ep 96 (5.25.19) - The One on Team Meteor
Hockey's over! Carolyn & Merrin discuss the Stars' last few games against the Blues, look into the future with The Onion, and ask the Wild "What, what, what are you doing?". Plus, the worst Stanley Cup ever, Scotland stories, and keeping up with the Joneses.
May 27, 2019
Ep 95 (5.5.19) - The One with the Kickstarter
Carolyn & Merrin record a pre-Game 6 episode! We could really do this! Bring on the vikings! Plus, complicated feelings about women's hockey, a new Merrin Reacts, a half-dozen geminis, and Roope gets a new nickname. Hakuna Matata baby!
May 06, 2019
Ep 94 (4.20.19) - The One with the Best of Intentions
THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE!!! Why, oh why did we want this again? Carolyn and Merrin talk the Stars' recent play, the value of drawing penalties, why some players are jerks and the fullness of their quivers. Is it time for Jamie Benn to ascend to the next phase of his life? And where is the cow?! Inquiring minds want to know!
April 22, 2019
Ep 93 (3.24.19) - The One with the Proposal
Jason Spezza gets scratched, the Stars find their "identity", Carolyn sheds real tears, Merrin regrets all her choices, and everybody hates Honka. It's a podcast that is less dramatic than it sounds! Well, unless you're a bard.
March 25, 2019
Ep 92 (3.10.19) - The One with the Uncomfortable Grunts
The Dallas Stars won four games in a row! Maybe things are looking up? Maybe. Carolyn & Merrin discuss the standings, existential dread, revive your favorite segments (or at least their's), and give you some life-saving advice. Everything is Captain Marvel and nothing hurts.
March 11, 2019
Ep 91 (2.24.19) - The One with a Lotion for That
Return with Carolyn & Merrin to the halcyon day, when the Stars had Mats Zuccarello and everything was looking up. Plus, Columbus does The Most, Connor McDavid aggressively rebrands, trade deadline predictions and Deep Sea-ted fears. See what I did there? It's a semi-live podcast spectacular!
February 26, 2019
Ep 90 (1.26.19) - The One with Helm's Deep on Ice
The Stars DID THINGS! Carolyn & Merrin talk trade analysis, setting a high bar, and the All-Star debacle. Plus, they pitch an HGTV show, create a new podcast, and debut a new segment. Everyone loves a theme night!
January 28, 2019
Ep 89 (1.13.19) - The One with the Fast Turtle
Carolyn & Merrin are back from their holiday vacations with a special 2019 Sam Gagner tribute podcast! They talk horsesh*t, depth scoring, mission impossible, travel, and of course, the hot topic of the day... butts!
January 14, 2019
Ep 88 (12.16.18) - The One with the Flaming Poultry
There is nothing more heartbreaking than the Dallas Stars. Carolyn & Merrin dissect the 4-game losing streak, Seattle's poor choices, what counts as a reboot, pick the best Batman, have zero feelings about the Flyers, and give the Stars some much-needed gifts. It's our last podcast of 2018, so Merry Cheermas and have a happy New Year!
December 18, 2018
Ep 87 (12.3.18) - The One that Goes 'Hey' in the Night
Ken Hitchcock makes his return to Dallas, Carolyn goes full Babadook, Merrin makes a surprising prediction, and Honka embodies a troublesome nun. Happiness gets tripled, we start a book club, and everyone needs to get on our Cheer level.
December 05, 2018
Ep 86 (11.18.18) The One with Martial Law
A not quite league-worst power play, dead defensemen, and yet the Stars are doing ok? Carolyn & Merrin talk the many kinds of raptors, uncover a conspiracy, reminisce about 80s spy movies, and become one with Christmas cheer. You are cheer. We are all become cheer.
November 19, 2018
Ep 85 (11.6.18) - The One with the Game
The Dallas Stars are in a playoff spot! Well, for *checks watch* maybe this next hour. Carolyn & Merrin try to avoid election-night coverage, talk Nichushkin, coach firings and, of course, the latest Senators shenanigans. Plus, Brett Ritchie's blackmail material, bad surprises, and haunted sex dolls. Here's to you, Mrs. Dickinson!
November 07, 2018
Ep 84 (10.21.18) - The One in an Inverted Coma
The season is doomed! Carolyn & Merrin give their best advice ever, Jamie Benn can't cartwheel, Merrin goes to camp, Carolyn learns about the Dallas Cowboys, and there's not nearly enough improv. Remember kids, God loves a callback!
October 22, 2018
Ep 83 (10.7.18) - The One that's Mostly Laugh Track
Hockey's back! And so are the shenanigans. Carolyn & Merrin break down the start to the Stars' season, things get kinda sexy, Jamie scores 600, the Canucks are kinda dumb (as usual), and absolutely no one is high. We promise.
October 09, 2018
Ep 82 (9.23.18) - The One Where Vin Diesel Dies
Special guest Bob Spencer (@BobaFenwick) joins Carolyn & Merrin for the Division Preview to rule them all -- The Central. It's schadenfreude, massive uncertainty, death, and pancakes as they talk through all seven teams. Carolyn says something nice about the Blues, Merrin reveals her secret, and Bob remains optimistic. Plus, the most difficult choice ever!
September 24, 2018
Ep 81 (9.9.18) - The One with the Tainted Cup
Deep in the Heart of Hockey goes Full Dad as we're joined by special guest Ian McLaren to preview the Metropolitan Division! Featuring: hubris, goalie love, potential miracles, Jack Adams predictions and more. Carolyn needs a second take, Jack Johnson finds his passion, Ian goes viral, and Merrin doesn't get any ice cream.
September 10, 2018
Ep 80 (8.26.18) - The One Where Tom Hanks Lies
It's an ocean-sized podcast as the multi-talented Christine Maggio, better known as @HockeyBabbler, joins us to preview the Pacific Division. We talk Seattle hockey, Connor McDavid: Pokemon, the biggest NHL conspiracy yet, #CoreyPerryFacts, good dogs, casual nudity, and so, so much more. Should she scout sea scouts by the sea shore?
August 27, 2018
Ep 79 (8.12.18) - The One that's One Man's Charming
Associate editor for SB Nation's Raw Charge and Pension Plan Puppets, Achariya Rezak, joins Carolyn & Merrin for a gigantic Atlantic Division preview! Talking Jeff Skinner trade, deep-seated rivalries, Dylan Larkin, head canons, and of course, hobbitses. What's it like to be a person who does research? We wouldn't know!
August 16, 2018
Ep 78 (7.29.18) - The One that Splurges at Applebee's
It's the episode where we forget how to podcast! Carolyn & Merrin are joined by special guest Robert Tiffin, Defending Big D contributor and dour cake man. They chat Janmark's extension, Gemel Smith's arbitration, fast casual dining, and Rodney Dangerfield. It's the podcast that says: don't worry about salmonella, you eat that cookie dough.
July 30, 2018
Ep 77 (7.15.18) - The One with the Sex Tape
Carolyn and Merrin are joined by Holly Hollenbeck of the Dallas Stars Twitterati and noted dog lover. They talk aborted trades, scoring depth, Disney princesses, minor league baseball, and good dogs*. Merrin eats questionable pizza, Carolyn knows what she did, and Jason Spezza metes out karmic retribution. *Spoilers: they are all good dogs.
July 16, 2018
Ep 76 (7.1.18) - The One with the Blank Check
Chris Watkins of Hockey Graphs joins Carolyn & Merrin to discuss all the happenings of Day 1 of Free Agent Frenzy. They chat Carter Hutton Watch, dynasties, what Roman Polak brings to the Stars, startling Stan Bowman, and Jim Benning goes to White Castle.
July 02, 2018
Ep 75 (6.17.18) - The One that's Being Happen
Carolyn & Merrin are joined by special guest Hannah Stuart of theScore. Hannah talks about the upcoming NHL Draft, asserts that the Stars can't mess it up, and becomes an unwilling participant in some shenanigans. Plus, tips on avoiding perjury when talking about concussions, Montreal loses a trade on multiple levels, and Ottawa does The Most. What's going on in Brett Ritchie's bedroom? On second thought, we don't want to know.
June 18, 2018
Ep 74 (6.3.18) - The One that Explains Divinity
It's June and at least one Texas team is still playing hockey! Carolyn & Merrin talk Todd Nelson hire, the Stanley Cup Final and Calder Cup Final. Plus, self-shaming, dubious definitions of salad, and Anne of Green Gables fanfic. It's an episode that doesn't care, but with force.
June 04, 2018
Ep 73 (5.18.18) - The One that's All Open
It's another semi-live podcast! That is, if we ever get out of the open. Featuring: Rick Wilson's retirement, divine brownies, hard playoff choices, and critical dicks. Forget FMK, we invent a new game specifically for the Dallas Stars. Minor Infinity War spoilers from 7:54 - 9:18 Want to win two tickets to the NHL Draft and Chase Rice concert in Dallas? All you have to is go to DonorsChoose.org, make a donation of any size, and email us proof! We'll draw a winner on June 1! The Draft is June 22-23.
May 21, 2018
Ep 72 (5.6.18) - The One with Extraneous Vowels
The great Jimening is upon us! All hail Jim! The Dallas Stars have a new head coach, Carolyn has mic issues (we're sorry!), Merrin goes on an HGTV bender, and why wasn't that the storyline in Avengers: Infinity War? Plus, playoffs, leafy greens, and, of course, non-consensual licking.
May 07, 2018
Ep 71 (4.24.18) - The One That's Ironically Named
Back from vacation, Carolyn and Merrin talk bad drafts, checkered pasts, eating lunch with Jesus, alt-right burgers, pop stars, and secret Disney stans. Merrin fails at Name That Actor and Carolyn fails at naming anything. It's the podcast that finally asks: why are you even here?
April 25, 2018
Ep 70 (4.8.18) - The One That Goes Full Toddler WWE
Disaster season previously dissected, Carolyn & Merrin try to find the bright spots of 17-18. Did you know that Jamie Benn is good at hockey? Also, Alain Vigneault, playoff cheering guide, extending Tyler Seguin, Merrin insults everyone, Carolyn needs a shower, and DHH officially sells out! It's the podcast that will totally bite its brother. Check out our sponsor Pro Stock Hockey and receive 10% off using coupon code DHH10!
April 09, 2018
Ep 69 (3.25.18) - The Not So Nice One
It's a very special episode! The Stars have lost 8 in a row and everyone wants to know why. Merrin has mimosas and Carolyn goes straight for the bottle. Together, they tackle poor life choices, poor line choices, the spiderman death vortex, and potential coaching replacements. Also no one speaks Finnish, and everyone loves terrible television. Nice!
March 26, 2018
Ep 68 (3.11.18) - The One that Doesn't Say It's Aliens
The Dallas Stars are meh, and to top it off Martin Hanzal is out for the season (and for that matter, so is Ron Francis). Carolyn & Merrin talk goaltender interference, women's hockey, Girl Scout cookies, and try to figure out how we can ascend to beings of pure light and energy. It's the podcast that asks: How can we really embrace the trash person inside of all of us?
March 12, 2018
Ep 67 (2.25.18) - The One that Hates Your Baby
It's the trade deadline! The Stars aren't making anyone proud (but at least they're not St. Louis). Team Chaos is alive and well, there are no good choices, Carolyn goes to a very dark place, and Merrin hates your baby. How much brisket would it take to land Max Pacioretty?
February 26, 2018
Ep 66 (2.11.18) - The One with the Jelly
In which the Montreal Canadiens are embarrassing and the Dallas Stars are not. Plus, trade deadline, Olympics, players we love to hate, units of measurement, mustache rides and more. We don't think you're ready for this jelly.
February 12, 2018
Ep 65 (1.21.18) - The One You Wish You Hadn't Heard
It's science hour with Carolyn & Merrin! Yes, the Stars are doing well but so is everyone else in the Central. Also: top-pair Pateryn, the mayonnaise league, and pomade-adjusted weights. It's the episode that we have to apologize for! No, really, we're sorry, y'all.
January 22, 2018
Ep 64 (1.6.18) - The One with the Pun Count
It's a star-studded podcast as Carolyn & Merrin are joined by some of Stars Twitter's funniest fans and writers. Together, they talk Ken Hitchcock, Hogwarts professor, Klingberg for Norris, the Peter Chiarelli Memorial Award, and the latest trends in fashion. Big thanks to @damnitjason, @TaylorDBaird, @RobertTiffin and @Holly_Holl for joining!
January 08, 2018
DHH 2017 Blooper Reel
Happy New Year! Since we're not going to be doing our Annual New Year's podcast, have this little gift instead.
January 01, 2018
Ep 63 (12.29.17) - The Semi-Live Christmas Musical Spectacular
It's the Semi-Live Christmas Musical Spectacular! We stretch the meaning of parody to bring you all your DHH Radio requests, semi-live! Also, emotional orgasms, Hitch's glitch, the penguin gallery, and what exactly goes on in the elation station?
December 30, 2017
Ep 62 (12.17.17) - The One with the Plopping Sound
Dallas has a pretty productive road trip even if Ken Hitchcock is still on our bad side. #FreedHonka, Russia makes bad choices, the ladies join a gang, Merrin gets crushed, and Carolyn ruins Christmas. Plus, we're still fundraising for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society! Click here to donate: https://www.paypal.me/deephearthockey Come on, #DoItForTheNarrative
December 18, 2017
Ep 61 (12.03.17) - The One with the Magic Laces
In this episode, Carolyn and Merrin get into the magic yellow laces, Jamie Benn is a giant dork, Carolyn goes on the warpath, Merrin gets the warm-and-fuzzies, and everyone gets a Disney princess!
December 04, 2017
Ep 60 (11.19.17) - The Consistently Disappointing One
The Stars are 10-9-1 and lacking any sort of consistency. Well, not any sort. Carolyn & Merrin talk implosions, trades, witchcraft, baby stealing, and share their strong opinions on pop music.
November 20, 2017
Ep 59 (11.3.17) - The I Told You So One
It's hockey is terrible week! Carolyn & Merrin discuss the Stars' "sudden" downturn, #FreeHonka, language barriers, Team Putin, Fun's No. 1 Enemy, and how to be a better high-fiver.
November 05, 2017
Ep 58 (10.18.17) - The One with Wrasslin'
After a long hiatus, hockey is back! And so are Carolyn and Merrin. They talk the Stars' start to the year, evaluate the new blood, and learn about the puritans. Who is Geordie Howe? Find out on Deep in the Heart of Hockey!
October 20, 2017
Ep 57 (8.31.17) - The One with Hurricane Harvey
Almost a week late, but still just as relevant. Is Brandon Bollig better than Jaromir Jagr? Just how classy is Shane Doan? Who is RJ Umberger, anyway? Carolyn is scandalized, Merrin has audio issues, and we urge you to donate to help out Houston in Harvey's aftermath. Plus all the woman's hockey talk you could want! Note: we really do apologize for the audio issues. We had a lot of skype problems.
September 06, 2017
Ep 56 (8.2.17) - The One with Bowling for Soup
It's August and everything is boring. Except, of course, the Dallas Stars, who have landed the 2018 NHL Draft. Carolyn & Merrin chat Draft, Texas politics, activism, philosophy, contracts, weather, and early 2000s pop punk.
August 05, 2017
Ep. 55 (7.12.17) - The One Where Merrin Plots Revenge
Why talk about roster moves when you can sing about them? The Stars' big offseason continues and Carolyn & Merrin are excited and concerned. Excerned? Concited? Also, it always comes down to murder when Honka's involved, Carolyn is a troll, and Merrin teaches us about Canada.
July 15, 2017
Ep. 54 (6.15.17) - The One with Lohan Outrage
Carolyn gets a solo, Merrin gets racy, the Penguins get a Cup, and the Stars might make some trades -- it's Expansion Madness! We review Wonder Woman, Houston, and Tyler Seguin's new dog. Just who does Lindsay Lohan think she is, anyway?
June 17, 2017
Ep. 53 (5.31.17) - The Skype Era Begins
We're back y'all! A two month hiatus means Carolyn & Merrin have to catch up on all the recent Stars news - Hitchcock hired, Bishop signed, and there's still more to come. Not to mention, there's like some big playoff or something. Gird that groinal region, it's the Fran Drescher of podcasts!
June 01, 2017
Ep. 52 (4.5.17) - The One with the Hitman Economy
Carolyn is MOVING! Merrin has her mind on SPACE! Gary Bettman is a ROBOT! The Stars might draft a GOALIE! The end of the season is in sight, the Olympics are out, and ice cream is a sign.
April 06, 2017
Ep. 51 (3.15.17) - The One with Tree Sexism
Are we done yet? Blue line questions, Nichushkin check ups, Sami the cat, Mass Effect, the USA Women's hockey strike, and rooting for the underdogs. Will Merrin survive her gut wound? Will Carolyn survive her romance novel? [Volume Warning at the start]
March 16, 2017
Ep. 50 (2.22.17) - The One with Sinus Problems
It's the bye week, which means only one thing - time for a nasty head cold! Carolyn & Merrin break down the season's sadness, Jamie Benn: weatherman, trades, tacos, and talent shows. It's ok, you don't have to join our frat.
February 23, 2017
Ep. 49 (2.1.17) - Cody Eakin, Please Shave
In this episode, Carolyn & Merrin discuss the Stars' dirty wins, the trade for yet another goalie, Cody Eakin's mustache, Ken Hitchcock's firing, how to stay sane in a stressful political climate, and why hockey is like Oregon Trail.
February 02, 2017
Ep. 48 (1.19.17) - Jim Nill: Femme Fatale
In a crazy busy week, Carolyn & Merrin take a break to talk Jim Nill: Femme Fatale, whether or not Lindy Ruff should be on the hot seat, pointless purple jerseys, if Patrick Sharp will be reunited with the Blackhawks, and can we ever fix the defense? Is anything softer than Tyler Seguin? You tell us!
January 22, 2017
Ep. 47 (1.1.17) - The Softest Bad Boys in the League
Happy New Year! It's DHH's third birthday and Carolyn and Merrin recount their wildly different NYE experiences. Also, the Stars' power play is awful, Sam Gagner is amazing, and Devan Dubnyk's Nana always knew he'd be a success. Plus, the moment you've all been waiting for -- the Dallas Stars Foundation Fancy Boys Calendar critique!
January 02, 2017
Ep. 46 (12.19.16) - The One with all the Demons
It's a Christmas Miracle! The Stars are turning things around! Probably! Goaltending, movie spoilers, Dr. Merrin diagnoses what the f*ck is wrong with the Central, Carolyn can't be trusted, and it all comes down to demons. Happy Holidays! Note: Volume of the recording again seems to be unusually high.
December 20, 2016
Ep. 45 (12.7.16) - The One with the Queso
A quarter of the season gone, and the Stars are primed for maximum sadness. That Pat, what a maroon! Merrin drops some All-Star truth bombs, Carolyn has a cold, Jamie Benn is keeping secrets, and Sen. Ted Cruz is... right? It's official. We live in #bizarroworld
December 08, 2016
Ep. 44 (11.16.16) - The Post-Election Zombie Apocalypse One
In this podcast, Carolyn and Merrin are forced to confront some difficult November realities - losses in OT, losses of elections, losses of hockey sense. Also, they give thanks, figure out their zombie apocalypse skills, and make DHH history.
November 17, 2016
Ep. 43 (10.31.16) - Spoopiest Podcast Ever!
It's the spoopiest podcast of the year! Injuries mount, Carolyn & Merrin struggle to find hope, Ales Hemsky hates bees, Craig Anderson has the feel good moment of the month, halloween hits and misses, hockey horror stories and more #soundeffects
November 01, 2016
Ep. 42 (10.12.16) - Looks Awful, Tastes Great
HOCKEY'S BACK! Carolyn & Merrin discuss new addition Korpikoski, Team Dads, Klingbeard, and try really hard not to make fun of the Oilers (spoiler: they fail). Plus, Carolyn ruins fantasy hockey and Merrin relives childhood trauma. All in a day's work.
October 15, 2016
Ep. 41 (9.28.16) - We're Not Ready
It's the preseason, y'all! Carolyn & Merrin sum up their thoughts from training camp weekend, obsess over idioms, break down the Great Russian Flight, celebrate Ralph Krueger's triumph, lament North America's tragedy, and make themselves really, really hungry. Chipwiches for everyone!
September 29, 2016
Ep. 40 (9.14.16) - Show Me the Money
In this episode, Carolyn & Merrin discuss Tyler Seguin's high school reunion, break down the messy World Cup origin story, get themselves get perma-banned from Canada, and the Flamingos are full of disappointment.
September 15, 2016
Ep. 39 (9.1.16) - The One with the Experiment
Bad puns about the Czech Republic, Stan Bowman -- Slytherin, leaving everyone's favorite ginger out in the cold, Carolyn toys with Merrin's feelings (in the name of science!), and will anyone actually be playing in the World Cup of Hockey?
September 03, 2016
Ep. 38 (8.4.16) - USA! USA! USA!
It's the doldrums of the offseason! Merrin founds the Gagnettes, Carolyn is a bad daughter, Jimmy Vesey has to sign somewhere, Jason Spezza is a gym-master, and don't forget - Olympics opening ceremonies are tonight (8/5)!
August 05, 2016
Ep. 37 (7.21.16) - Live Long and Podcast
Welcome to the Offseason with Carolyn & Merrin. This podcast they review: Jamie Benn's new contract, Ghostbusters, Sam Gagner being unsigned, cats who pee everywhere, and most importantly, Star Trek: Beyond. Live Long and Prosper, listeners!
July 22, 2016
Ep. 36 (6.30.16) - A Disgusting Deconstructed Sundae
EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING! Two days before free agency, the NHL takes leave of their collective senses, Merrin officially says goodbye to the Oilers, Carolyn doesn't understand any of it, and the entire offseason is just like a disgusting deconstructed sundae.
July 01, 2016
Ep. 35 (5.31.16) - End of Season Musical Extravaganza
It's that time of year...Deep in the Heart of Hockey is back with the End of Season Musical Extravaganza! So turn your volume way, way down, and sing along with Carolyn & Merrin as they dissect the Stars' second round playoff exit, seranade Tyler Seguin, wax lyrical about goaltending, and express their hockey feelings through song.
June 01, 2016
Ep 34 (5.3.16) - The One About Leicester City
Carolyn & Merrin talk the new name, playoff ups and downs, how much we love Leicester City, give tips on stress relief, personal finance, and why the New York Riveters are your new favorite team.
May 04, 2016
Ep 33 (4.12.16) - The First Ever Playoff-Bound Podcast!
In the first-ever 2BL Playoff-bound podcast, the Ladies talk being #1 in the West, Merrin cries about Sam Gagner, Carolyn fills out a bracket full of feelings, and everyone knows you're just one wrong shirt away from elimination. It's gonna be lit, y'all.
April 13, 2016
Ep 32 (3.29.16) - The One with the Phantom Train
The Ladies nominate Pat Maroon for the Masterton, are haunted by a phantom train, get confused by the number of people named Bill in the world, talk playoff seeding, Val's frustration, and whether old men live in trees. Remember: Podcasts are a social construct.
March 30, 2016
Ep 31 (3.15.16) - The One with the Russell Jinx
With only 8 points needed to clinch a playoff spot, the Ladies reflect on the Stars season, promptly jinx them by saying nice things about Kris Russell, Carolyn becomes "that guy", and Merrin has a baby related meltdown. You know, the usual.
March 16, 2016
Ep 30 (2.22.16) - The One with the Birthdays
With one week before the trade deadline, the Ladies chat about the Stars recent terrible play, where they think Dallas can upgrade, schadenfreude, and how Heather Benn set the standard for Good Hockey Moms everywhere.
February 23, 2016
Ep 29 (2.9.16) - The One with the Pact
In this episode, the Ladies talk musicals, aren't worried about the Stars (except when they are), Merrin gets blacklisted, Carolyn hates everyone, Ottawa makes a trade, and Connor McDavid is allowed to win the Calder, but only on one condition.
February 10, 2016
Ep 28 (1.26.16) - The Ladies Take You to School
In this episode, the Ladies (eventually) discuss the upcoming All-Star Game, conclude the NWHL All-Star Game was pretty much the best ever, and are really cranky. Plus there's Horcoff, puppies, and more science than you can shake a stick at.
January 27, 2016
Ep 27 (1.21.16) - The One with All the Filth
In this week-late episode, the Ladies talk the slump-that-shall-not-be-named, the most recent trade that Jim Nill won (hint: he made it in July), Merrin's mundane superpower is inneffectual rage, Carolyn does her best impression of Tyler Seguin, and no one's making it out of the zombie apocalypse alive.
January 22, 2016
Ep 26 (1.1.16) - The One Year Anniversary Special!
In this One Year Anniversary Special of the 2BL podcast, the Ladies talk the Stars' Year of Winning, Carolyn lives her best life, Merrin sits atop the sober throne of judgement, the Winter Classic is a thing that happens, and we reveal truths about Toboggan Moen that may shock you. Happy New Year!
January 02, 2016
DHH 2015 Blooper Reel
Have you ever wondered what doesn't make it into the podcast? Or how the Ladies warm up those melodious voices? This is our gift to you - 3 minutes of what doesn't make it on air. Happy Holidays everyone, see you again in 2016!
December 25, 2015
Ep 25 (12.15.15) - The One in a Galaxy Far Far Away
In this episode, ALL THE THINGS ARE HAPPENING but not to the Stars, who keep rolling along. The Ladies worry about the Central, prove they can still pass 5th grade geography, hop aboard the Millennium Falcon, and wish all of you Happy Holidays!
December 16, 2015