Growing Up with Delia Burgess
By Delia Burgess
Unedited conversations with humans.
Read the Growing Up newsletter at deliaburgess.blog
Growing Up with Delia BurgessNov 29, 2022
Ep. 102 - Erica Komisar: prioritising motherhood & raising an emotionally secure future
Erica Komisar, LCSW is a New York based psychoanalyst, parent coach and author. With 30 years of experience in private practice, she works to alleviate pain from individuals who suffer from depression, anxiety, eating, and other compulsive disorders.
A graduate of Georgetown and Columbia Universities and The New York Freudian Society, Erica is a psychological consultant bringing parenting and work/life workshops to clinics, schools, corporations, and childcare settings.
Erica is also the author of the book Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters and Chicken Little The Sky Isn’t Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety and has appeared on major media networks such as CBS, ABC, FOX, and NPR. She is a regular contributor to the Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, New York Daily News, and FOX 5 NY. She is a Contributing Editor to the Institute for Family Studies.
She lives in New York City with her husband, optometrist, and social entrepreneur Dr. Jordan Kassalow with whom she has three teenage and young adult children.
Ep. 101 - John Hittler: Russian orphans & talking his way into Georgetown
We also discuss growing up in Detroit with that surname...
John Hittler is the co-founder of Evoking Genius, a transformational business-coaching firm based in San Jose, California. Father of seven, happily married, competitive athlete, and dedicated volunteer in the field of domestic violence, John spends his free time dancing Tango with his wife, cooking for his friends and family, and traveling to places he has not yet visited. John can be reached at evokinggenius.com
Ep. 100 - Grace Nikae: child prodigy, wanting to be "normal" and the freedom to change careers
Grace Nikae began touring internationally as a concert pianist at 13 years old...
(I was going to ask her the definition of "child prodigy" and then found out she'd been on TV as a 3 y.o. solving algebraic equations and reading from a Mark Twain novel, so checks out.)
Grace has done many incredible things (e.g. after leaving her international solo career she wrote 8 best selling novels under a pseudonym, taught herself to code and somehow ended up as marketing director of a 5 star hotel in Hawaii, started a TikTok on leadership and grew her audience to 80k followers etc. etc.)
HOWEVER this conversation is really about the human story underneath all of that. Loneliness, suffering, isolation. What triggered the decision to leave music. Her attitude to following her curiosity. We all need to feel loved and that we belong 💛
Very special conversation xx
Ep. 99 - Dave Sherwood: CEO of BibliU, quitting Oxford to start a company
Dave Sherwood is Co-Founder and CEO of BibliU.
BibliU is an education technology company, specialising in digital textbook provision for universities.
Originally from Western Australia, Dave was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford University but left his studies after 18 months having founded BibliU.
Ep. 98 - Delia Burgess: why the podcast, depression & mushies
Ep. 97 - Georgie Owen: accepting yourself for being "too much"
Georgie is a legend / lawyer based in Melbourne who is passionate about food & diet culture.
insta: @conceivingitall
podcast: Conceiving it All - the podcast
She sent me a million books / resources to include in the show notes:
ADHD
ADHD 2.0, Edward M Hallowell, Dr. John J. Ratey
Scattered Minds, Gabor Mate
Dr Arthur Stabolidis (psych in Melbourne does online stuff)
Body Image / Race / Criminal Justice System:
The Mother Wound, Amani Haydar
Witness, Louise Milligan
The Body is Not an Apology, Sonya Renee Taylor
More Than a Body, Lindsay & Lexie Kite
Unapologetic Eating, Alissa Rumsey
Hood Feminism, Mikki Kendall
Also:
A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, Cheryl Strayed
Untamed, Glennon Doyle
Ep. 96 - Alex Large: conquering social anxiety & IFS
Ep. 95 - Nolan Gore: Marine Corps, God, Texas & landscaping
Nolan Gore is the General Manager and owner of Top Choice Lawn Care, Austin (85 employees. $8M and growing)
He previously served in the US Marine Corps as Combat Engineer Officer.
Twitter: @LeadershipAcad1 www.topchoiceaustin.com
Ep. 94 - Kai Karar: addiction, stealing cars, Russian drug supply & getting clean
Kai lives in Tampere Finland. He is a ghostwriter, podcaster and former MMA fighter. @edge_of_obsess
Ep. 93 – Silba Staffler: out of body experience & healing her relationship with food
Silba works at the intersection between behavioural economics, design, creative storytelling, mindset coaching, presence training, embodiment practices & community building.
@silbastaffler
Ep. 92 - Oliver Webb-Carter: leaving banking after 20 years to return to his first love (history)
Oliver Webb-Carter, having studied history & archaeology, worked at JP Morgan for nearly two decades, before deciding to return to his first love, history. He is the editor and co-founder of Aspects of History, a magazine and podcast dedicated to history and historical fiction.
Ep. 91 - Joshua Boateng: professional boxing, Naples, Ghana
Joshua "Blackstar" Boateng, professional boxer 3-0 (1KO)
Ep. 90 - Jimmy Urbanovich: how to argue, fatherhood & starting and leaving a church
Jimmy teaches argumentation and critical thinking as an associate professor at Crafton Hills College, California.
"To have four passionate, interesting, curious, intellectual, stimulating, motivated and driven adult children is by far my greatest pleasure and joy in life."
Ep. 89 - Jenny Haynes: eating disorder, theatre, lockdown destroying her business & finding her calling
Jenny is a yoga teacher, breathwork, movement and meditation instructor based in London, UK.
Originally from the North East, her passion lies in connecting people to their bodies and their minds in an accessible, creative, and warm way.
Jenny initially trained in Theatre, having been one of 4 girls out of 2000+ applicants to be accepted into the world renowned Bristol Old Vic Theatre School.
She then set up and ran a successful dance party company before training in yoga and fitness.
Ep. 88 - Mike Simon: South London, professional dance, family court battles & somatic coaching
Mike Simon is a Somatic Coach, Movement Artist & Reiki Practitioner based in London.
Twitter: @themikegsimon
Ep. 87 - Ben Freeth: suing Robert Mugabe, the Walled City, thugs and the Holy Spirit
Ben Freeth, MBE is a British-born Zimbabwean farmer who successfully sued Mugabe in an international court in 2008. Since winning the lawsuit he has been harassed and his farm burnt to the ground. His family's story was told in a BAFTA nominated documentary, Mugabe and the White African (2009) and subsequently Ben's first book of the same title.
Ep. 86 - Shana Mdluli: South Africa, failure & making money online
Shana is a psych student turned coach based in Pretoria.
@thriveminds1
Ep. 85 - Jordan Urbs: Mexican tantra, Nepali hashish & being possessed by a demon
Jordan lives in Hawaii with his wife and two children.
"I used to say you could be "free" by ditching your 9-5 and surrendering to the life of a nomad. It really teaches you to get humble and trust in yourself. But then I had kids, and moved into an off-grid tiny house. Now I recognise that freedom exists only in the mind."
Listen to part 1: Ep. 75 - Jordan Urbs: jesus, sex, hitchhiking & psychedelics
Ep. 84 - Caroline Silvestre: domestic abuse, IFS, alcohol, divorce, hypnosis, dating a married man...
Caroline Silvestre BSc, MSc, GMBPsS is based in Mayfair and works with Parts therapy (IFS informed) and Eugene Gendlin's Focussing. She also provides evidence-based Cognitive-Behavioural Hypnotherapy.
caroline.silvestre@pm.me
Caroline explains more about IFS therapy in Ep. 66 - Caroline Silvestre: a conversation with my therapist
Ep. 83 - Tommy Christie: fatherlessness, felonies & finding his way
Tommy lives in Denver, CO.
Ep. 82 - Henry Okraglik: child of Auschwitz survivor & early internet startups
Henry Okraglik is the Global Director of Digital at WSP
Ep. 81 - Ron Shell: CEO of the National Pickleball League
Ron is back on the pod to talk about his new venture: bringing pickleball to Australia
Ep. 80 - Joachim Brackx: executing the 4 hour work week
Joachim found success as a singer & composer in Belgium before turning to entrepreneurship for greater agency over his life and income. He co-founded a digital product business while living nomadically. He is currently based in Sofia, where he is pursuing a new chapter...
Find out more at relatingtoself.com
Ep. 79 - Mark Burgess: privately-educated-heterosexual-white-male not sure who to apologise to first
Mark Burgess is studying an MA of Political Economy at King's College London.
Ep. 78 - Ian Taylor: using your voice assertively
Ian Taylor is a voice teacher based in London.
Ep. 77 - Delia & Neil: construction, life purpose, breakups & depression
Recorded in August 2022
Ep. 76 - John Acosta: Venezuela, US military and unresolved trauma
John believes unresolved trauma is our greatest liability. His mission is to create awareness and understanding around the effects of unresolved trauma on our lives and in our society. He provides insight, tools, and guided meditations around connecting with our family systems and healing our internal dynamics.
Ep. 75 - Jordan Urbs: jesus, sex, hitchhiking & psychedelics
Jordan lives in Hawaii with his wife and two children.
"I used to say you could be "free" by ditching your 9-5 and surrendering to the life of a nomad. It really teaches you to get humble and trust in yourself. But then I had kids, and moved into an off-grid tiny house. Now I recognise that freedom exists only in the mind."
Ep. 74 - Ben Yeoh: visiting a remote tribe, death, art & investing
Benjamin Yeoh is a senior portfolio manager of global equities, he is also an award-winning playwright.
Ben shares ideas on sustainability, investing, autism, arts, theatre and how to live a better life at:
www.thendobetter.com / Ben Yeoh Chats podcast
Ep. 73 - Jimmy Hutton: boarding school, drugs, hypnosis & not good enough
Jimmy Hutton is a cognitive hypnotherapist helping clients live happier, freer, more connected lives free from the limiting beliefs holding them back.
www.jimmyhuttontherapy.co.uk
Ep. 72 - James Kite: curiosity as a compass & the metacrisis
James is interested in the wellbeing of individuals, organisations & communities.
Through his London-based Find Enlight project he explores the art of community building, from personal to community cohesion & cultural innovation.
find-enlight.com / contact James at find.enlight@gmail.com
Meta Crisis links: Intro | Origins & Third Attractor out of the Meta Crisis | Resource List
Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones The New Human Rights Movement By Peter Joseph
If you need to speak to somebody urgently, there are people who will listen and help:
Shout: Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 (UK)
Samaritans (Free call service): 116 123 (UK)
Outside the UK: Search 24/7 crisis support services to find services in your country
Ep. 71 - Julia Scott: manifest the life you want by understanding your 'parts'
Julia Scott is an IFS therapy practitioner. Her mission is to help individuals live beyond their current narrative and embrace a fully expressed story aligned with their authentic purpose and potential. Julia has facilitated hundreds of individuals, couples and groups through her transformative work; guiding them inward to witness, release and transform their limiting beliefs, sabotaging patterns, stuck emotions and wounded 'parts' blocking them from living, feeling and manifesting what they want and deserve. Julia incorporates IFS (Internal Family Systems) as well as various psychological and somatic therapeutic models into her work.
Her varied training and formal education includes:
BSc. (Hons) Psychology with Neuroscience — University of Sussex
MA Anthropology of Food and Health — University of London
SOAS Transpersonal Psychotherapist — CCPE, London (5-year diploma/ MA: in progress)
Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy — Embody Lab
200 Hour Ashtanga & Meditation Teacher — Varkala, India
Certified Peer Mental Health Counselor — RI International
www.juliaascott.com
insta: @juliascott.storywork
Ep. 70 - Neil & Delia: laws of power and winning influence
Neil Ganju is back.
Books mentioned:
The 48 Laws of Power - Robert Greene
You Are the Message: Getting What You Want by Being Who You Are - Roger Ailes
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Ep. 69 - Lord Bird: founder of the Big Issue
John Anthony Bird, Baron Bird, MBE is a British social entrepreneur and life peer in the House of Lords. He is best known as the co-founder of The Big Issue, a magazine sold by street vendors who are homeless or vulnerably-housed.
Bird was born in 1946 in a Notting Hill slum to a poor London Irish family. He became homeless at age of five, spent time in an orphanage, in young offenders institutions and prison during his youth.
In 1991, Bird launched The Big Issue with Gordon Roddick, co-founder of The Body Shop.
Bird was nominated for life peerage in October 2015 to become a non-party-political "people's peer", sitting as a crossbencher.
His work focuses on dismantling the root causes of poverty in the UK, with an emphasis on the well-being of future generations, early intervention and prevention.
Ep. 68 - John Collins: lab diamond creator #2 on meeting Oppenheimer & doing business in China, Russia
John Collins has a PhD in nuclear physics. At 28 he was employed by De Beers to develop the world's first lab grown diamond. He is currently a non-faculty associate of the Cambridge Judge Business School and an Ethics & Responsible Innovation Advisor. His purpose is to help others achieve their purpose.
Listen to John's Growing Up episode at:
Ep. 17 - Dr John Collins, PhD: inventing the lab grown diamond
Ep. 67 - Neil Ganju: how to argue, the media, construction & ESG
Ep. 66 - Caroline Silvestre: a conversation with my therapist
We discuss CBT, IFS (parts therapy), hypnosis, Jungian psychology etc...
Caroline Silvestre BSc, MSc, GMBPsS is based in Mayfair and works with Parts therapy (IFS informed) and Eugene Gendlin's Focussing. She also provides evidence-based Cognitive-Behavioural Hypnotherapy.
caroline.silvestre@pm.me
Resources:
If you need to speak to somebody urgently, there are people who will listen and help:
Shout: Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 (UK)
Samaritans (Free call service): 116 123 (UK)
Outside the UK: Search 24/7 crisis support services to find services in your country
Ep. 65 - Juvenal Vitalis: navigating life as a young Tanzanian
Juvenal Vitalis lives in Kilimanjaro, Tanzania and works for the African School of Storytelling.
He is the host of 'The Unapologetic Human' podcast, where he explores culture, technology, philosophy, and beyond. The Unapologetic Human is a space for raw, honest conversations about our doubts, experiences, and values.
Ep. 64 - Jono Pang: living in Caymans, New York, Amsterdam & meeting his wife couchsurfing
Ep. 63 - Danielle Hatton: codependency & calling off a wedding
Danielle is a Breathwork Teacher and Women’s Codependency Coach. She supports women in gaining clarity in their life and discovering their deep desires through self-acceptance and approval. Her mission is to give women permission to be, do, and create whatever it is that they truly desire - to know that their uniqueness is their power and that their desire is their direction.
Ep. 62 - Alex Waddell, PhD: behavioural science hacks to live healthier
Alex is a behavioural scientist and digital health researcher at Action Lab, Monash University with a passion for health, wellbeing, behavioural science and implementation.
Alex is passionate about utilising behavioural science, policy, and programmes to achieve health outcomes.
Ep. 61 - Jazz Singh: ex-offender on why former prisoners make great employees
Jazz Singh was born in East London. He had a successful career in the City as a wealth manager before losing everything to drug addiction, ultimately ending up behind bars, spending three years in prison.
Jazz was released last April (2022) and emerged from prison with newfound clarity and purpose. His mission is to rehabilitate society's perception of prisoner leavers and seeks to ensure his life serves as an example not a warning to others, demonstrating that transformation and redemption are possible for anyone, regardless of their past.
Jazz serves as a Director of B-Radical, a profit-for-good organisation that helps businesses turn their diversity, Corporate Social Responsibility and 'Environmental Social and Governance' rhetoric into meaningful action by leveling the playing field for Radical people and communities.
Jazz seeks to create a society where everyone, regardless of their past or circumstances, has the opportunity to thrive and contribute meaningfully.
Ep. 60 - Julia Scott: a therapist on personal transformation and healing your wounded parts
Ep. 59 - Keith Hawton: Oxford psychiatrist on preventing suicide
Keith Hawton is a Professor of Psychiatry and Director of the Centre for Suicide Research, University of Oxford. He practised as a consultant psychiatrist for over 30 years.
Professor Hawton has been researching the causes, treatment, prevention and outcome of suicidal behaviour for over 40 years. He has published more than 500 papers and chapters and 15 books and is the recipient of numerous awards. He is a Fellow of the Academy of Medical Sciences and has a particular interest in epidemiology and clinical management of self-harm, suicide and self-harm in adolescents, media influences on self-harm and evaluation of suicide prevention initiatives.
(The book Keith mentions in the episode is The Savage God: A study of Suicide by A Alvarez.)
Resources:
If you need to speak to somebody urgently, there are people who will listen and help:
Shout: Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 (UK)
Samaritans (Free call service): 116 123 (UK)
Outside the UK: Search 24/7 crisis support services to find services in your country
Ep. 58 - Susan Anderson: recovery from heartbreak and loss
Susan Anderson is a practicing psychotherapist, founder of the Abandonment Recovery Program and author of 'The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages That Accompany the Loss of Love.'
Susan has over 30 years of clinical experience and research helping victims of abandonment trauma heal heartache, grief and shame and overcome patterns of self-sabotage.
Susan had her own adult abandonment experience when her beloved marital partner of almost 20 years suddenly left her for another woman.
Ep. 57 - Toby Young: on being cancelled
Toby Young is a British social commentator. He is the founder and director of the Free Speech Union, an associate editor of The Spectator, and creator of the Daily Sceptic. He is the author of 'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People', a memoir about his time at Vanity Fair in New York, which became a bestseller and was adapted into a Hollywood film. Toby co-founded the West London Free School which opened in 2011. Following a higher education board appointment by then Prime Minister Theresa May in 2018, Toby faced a flood of criticism resulting in his resignation and the loss of four other roles.
Ep. 56 - Kristy McSweeney: TV, politics and online sexual threats
Kristy McSweeney works in media and political strategy. She is the founder of the PR Counsel and regularly appears on Sky News. Kristy ran as the Liberal Party candidate for Swan in Western Australia at the 2022 federal election.
Ep. 55 - Carolina Wikstrom: finance to Human Design, divorce, motherhood and finding herself again
Carolina Wikstrom is a Human Design Guide helping business owners connect with their unique gifts, talents, and purpose so they can maximise their reach, impact, and revenue.
Carolina is Colombian, lives in London, has two children and spent many years working in finance in New York and Canada before she made the pivot into Human Design.
insta: @iamcarolinawikstrom
Ep. 54 - Daniel H: a British-Iranian's passion for women’s rights in Iran
Ep. 53 - Leo van Veenendaal: abuse, addiction and Iboga
Leo van Veenendaal is the author of 'The Iboga Experience: Stories, experiences and advice from the sacred & secret plant that saves, heals, and transforms lives'
Leo is a Peru-based environmental engineer originally from Australia. For much of his adult life he suffered from IBS and treatment resistant depression & anxiety. At a point of desperation Leo began working with indigenous plant medicines, including Ayahuasca in Peru in 2016 to heal IBS and his brain.
In 2018 Leo was initiated into Iboga and Bwiti at Ebando in Gabon. He has continued working with and learning about plant medicines since. Working with Iboga totally transformed Leo's psyche and life. The relentless cloud of negative thoughts that haunted him vanished.
Leo is now apprenticing with plant medicines in Peru and hopes to open a retreat centre one day.
Resources:
If you need to speak to somebody urgently, there are people who will listen and help.
Shout: Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 (UK)
Samaritans (Free call service): 116 123 (UK)
Outside the UK: Search 24/7 crisis support services to find services in your country