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Break Bottles, Not Hearts

Break Bottles, Not Hearts

By Desiree Simone
Dating, Sex and Relationships with your Boozy Bestie who breaks down all the topics that come from the bedroom and beyond.
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Being Ignorantly Confident in Dating
This week in another solo episode, your Boozy Bestie talks about having a certain level of confidence when it comes to dating. Sometimes you have to be "ignorantly confident" and approach the dating world with lighthearted fun, a sexy pair of shoes and a fake it till you make it mentality, in order to see the results you're looking for. She also talks about the time she Moonwalked away from a guy on the dance floor after giving him her number.
September 09, 2022
Is it Fall yet?
This week, Bea is back with your Boozy Bestie to talk about their eager anticipation for fall. This is also your Bestie's birthday weekend, so she chats about being fly in her 40s. They dive deep into some of their favorite horror movies and what they look forward to entering the best season of the year. No Pumpkin Spice Latte's were consumed in this episode!
August 19, 2022
Storytime- Mr. Racist
This week, your Boozy Bestie starts the first of the Storytime series with "Mr Racist". In honor of Bama Rushtok taking over TikTok, your bestie talks about a super uncomfortable incident that happened early in her sorority life. But don't worry, it has a happy ending. Don't be a racist jerk!
August 09, 2022
How to not lose yourself in a relationship
Have you ever found yourself saying "Wow, I feel like I'm not even me anymore since I've started dating (insert name here)." Well Besties, that's not good! And I want to help. This week, your Boozy Bestie gives you three tips to not lose the beauty that is you in a relationship and how to not let the change from "ME" to "WE" take over your life.
July 25, 2022
The Dating After 30 and 40
In this solo episode, your Boozy Bestie gives tips for those entering the dating world after 30 and 40. Dating can seem not only more complicated the older we get, but involves far less games. This week, we talk about some tips and tricks that will help you navigate this dating scene and ways to try to capitalize on finding love after 30 or 40.
July 12, 2022
Listener Checkin and Making Lists
On this weeks solo mini episode, your Boozy Bestie checks in on listeners, gives an update about work and the podcast/blog and chats about the importance of writing lists. Whether it's a relationship check list, couples pros and cons or what you desire in a partner, there is a clear benefit to writing down what you are lacking and what you truly want.
May 31, 2022
It's My Body and I'll Fight If I Want To!
This week, your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about the topic of "My Body, My Choice". They chat about personal feelings, while Plan B should be more accessible and why some men are great supporters of the cause by keeping their mouth shut. Side Note: the views expressed are our own and none others. This is an open topic where various views and opinions are welcome.
May 14, 2022
Dirty Blondes Podcast Sneak Peek- Cougar Life
This week, your Boozy Bestie shares a sneak peek of a recent episode of a guest appearance on the hilarious "Dirty Blondes Podcast" with Stephanie Smith. We talked about being cougars, posting Thirst Traps, teaching them young boys and being called "Mommy". Be sure to check out the full episode at Dirty Blondes wherever you listen to your podcasts!
April 11, 2022
You, and Me, and Her and Threesomes
After taking a brief work related hiatus, your Boozy Bestie and Bae are back with another episode. This week we dive deep into the topic of Threesomes. Bae talks about the time he and is then girl hooked up with a photographer friend in NOLA. Then your Boozy Bestie shares two very different threesome stories, which ultimately were not like her dream threesome scenario from Zoolander.
April 03, 2022
The Tinder Swindler
Netflix got us again and we were hooked on The Tinder Swindler. This week your Boozy Bestie and Bae discuss the dumb things women did just to get a private jet to Dubai, whether or not you should give money to someone you just met, ways to be safe when going on a first date and why it's important cyber stalk your potential suitors before you ever meet them.
February 20, 2022
Switching up Positions for You
This week your #boozybestie and Bae discuss their favorite sex positions. From 69 to the Mountain, some positions work and some are only successful for young whipper snappers. They also have a very long chat about their love for Bond Theme songs and why porn can give an unrealistic view on what you can do in a bedroom.
February 07, 2022
Sometimes when we touch...Ourselves!
This week, your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about playing with your monkey and flicking the bean. AKA...Masturbation. They also talk about why the topic seems taboo, the time Bae got caught with old Playboys and when your bestie spent over 30 minutes in the shower.
January 31, 2022
Describe your perfect day from your partner.
This week, your Boozy Bestie was inspired by a TikTok that gave a great marriage/relationship hack. Describe to your partner, your idea of a perfect day from them. What would they do, say, how would they act? Then what happens if you give them that day? We found out that apparently your bestie likes to go to work on her perfect day, like a sociopath. We also got to enjoy some delicious vodka from the good folks at Four Carat Vodka. My Sweet Dreams Martini uses: 2 oz of Four Carat Vodka, 1 oz of Grand Mariner, 1.5 oz of St Germain, 2 dashes of Lavender Bitters and a generous pour of Prosecco. Cheers and Enjoy!
January 17, 2022
Bellbouttoning, Soaking and RofiColadas!
Welcome to Season 2 where we decided to put as much WTF in one episode. This week your Boozy Bestie and Bae learn that some people have sex via the Bellybutton. They also do a deep dive into the world of "Soaking" and talk about the time they both may or may not have been roofied.
January 10, 2022
2021...Da F&*?
We decided to end the year and our first season on a high note. And by that, we mean talkin crap about 2021. We also wanted to give a big thank you to all the folks who showed us love this year and made this little dream come true. Oh and your Boozy Bestie got on her Gary Vee sh*&!
December 30, 2021
Two Different Worlds
This week, your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about navigating the dating world when your partner has different religious or political views. Can you find common ground, or are the differences too much? We also discuss overhearing the most awkward second date at our lunch earlier that day and why dating when you're bored is apparently a bad thing.
December 13, 2021
Should You Have Sex on the First Date
This week, your Boozy Bestie and Bae tackle a controversial topic, having sex on the first date. We talk about our own experiences and why knocking out the bedroom action could be a good or bad thing from the jump. A huge thank you to this week's sponsor, Mixly Cocktail Company, for sending us some AHMAZING products. Be sure to check them out at
December 06, 2021
Breakups and Bad Decisions
This week your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about some of their past break ups and how they handled heart ache. We get into an in depth conversation about shady post break up tactics and why we both love booze filled piñatas.
November 30, 2021
Fake It, Until You Make Your Partner Laugh
This week, Boozy Bestie and Bae chat about faking it in bed. We learn that both men and women do it equally, why sometimes our Bestie is an overdramatic screamer and our love for all things "Real Sex" from HBO.
November 23, 2021
The Love and Drama of the Holidays
This week your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about the trials and joys of the holiday season. Have you ever noticed that the holidays bring out not only the best but the stress in relationships? We talk about being single over Christmas and being tricked into New Years celebrations we never wanted to be a part of. And finally, we introduce our newest segment called "Put It On My Tab."
November 15, 2021
Happy Halloween
It's the most wonderful time of the year! At least for your Boozy Bestie and Bae! This week we talk about our love for Halloween, scary movies, slutty costumes and why the night brings out our inner freak!
November 01, 2021
Make Up Sex and Body Image
This week, your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about the benefits of Make Up Sex. Does doing the nasty help win an argument? They also tackle the sensitive topic of addressing weight issues with your partner while also fan-girling over Dr. Now from "My 600lb Life".
October 25, 2021
Great Hotties in History
This week your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about the famous people in History that they would hit. There's an argument over who the best Bond is, a deep love of Rose seltzer and a passionate conversation about the effects of the Karate Kid 2 soundtrack.
October 18, 2021
The Do's and Don'ts of First Dates
Wrapped in a warm blanket of goodness, your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about what you should and should not do on a first date. There may have even been talk of some horrible dating app mistakes and a potential book deal catered to the elderly in the style of a graphic romance novel. 
October 11, 2021
Sex & Horror
Not really sure what to say about this episode other than your Boozy Bestie and Bae got a little too chatty about their love of horror films and the concept of sex find in the genre. There was lots of beer, a very relaxed host and talks of Jamie Lee Curtis, headless felatio, and the hotness that is Interview with the Vampire. All in all, your typical Monday!
October 04, 2021
Can you ignore your partner's past?
In another non sponsored, but hopefully one day sponsored episode, (shout out to Yuengling), your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about dating pasts. Whether it's a high body count or past marriages or maybe a questionable profession, sometimes its hard to not consider your partners past.
September 27, 2021
The Follies of Youth
After a week off, we are back...back again! This week, your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about the cringy and questionable things done in their youth while drinking highly regrettable booze. Somehow Shakespeare doesn't translate into getting a guy to like you and dick pics are just as bad as moonwalking away from a guy on a dance floor. Episode hopefully sponsored by Jack Daniels and Jameson!
September 20, 2021
Wasted Wednesday with Christina
This week your Boozy Bestie invited her first guest to the podcast. Christina who is part of "Drunk Moms, Talking S&*%!" is a friend of the show. After what originally started as "We won't drink too much.", turned into several beers, a ton of shots and talking about our fears of not having any sex later on in our marriages. Oh, and Bae was there too.
September 06, 2021
The Roles of a Relationship
This week, your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about the gender roles found in most relationships. They discuss the badassness of Cher and why Sean Connery shouldn't be part of Cancel Culture.
August 30, 2021
Is Porn a Bad Thing?
Your Boozy Bestie talks about all things porn, OnlyFans new policy and ground breaking documentaries that revolve around sex work. We also learn what kind of porn our hosts enjoy and the cinematic greatness that is parody porn!
August 22, 2021
To Pay, or Not To Pay
Who should pay on the first date? This week, your Boozy Bestie talks about doing the "Check Dance" and whether or not a guy should feel weird if a girl offers to pay on the first date. Also, this episode may have been fueled by tequila.
August 16, 2021
Truth or Drink
This week your Boozy Bestie and Bae do an epic game of "Truth or Drink" involving a bottle of Don Julio and hard to answer questions. There is also a hot debate on why Paul Rudd is the only hall pass allowed and a mockery of "I Will Always Love You", may or may not have occurred. 
August 09, 2021
How Can You Spicy Up the Bedroom?
This week, your Boozy Bestie talks about different ways to spice up your bedroom life. From toys, to porn, to the time when Bae wore a sexy ass suit and got her all turned on. We talk about the various ways you can add excitement before things turn blah!
August 02, 2021
Friends with your Ex
This week, your Boozy Bestie talks about maintaining a friendship with an ex. Can it be done, should it be done and why do we hate Tom Cruise?
July 25, 2021
It Don't Matter If You're Black or White
This week your Boozy Bestie and Bae talk about interracial dating and the stigma that still exists to this day. They dive into the history of Loving Vs Virginia and how society and the dating world views people or different races being in romantic relationships.
July 18, 2021
Review Time: Netflix Series "Sex/Life"
We tried...we really did. This week, your Boozy Bestie and bae express their very strong thoughts on the new Netflix series "Sex/Life." They also tackle how sex positive women are portrayed in the series and if Netflix made a hybrid between a Hallmark film and a Porn Hub short.
July 11, 2021
Three's Company and Other Anniversary Gifts
This week your Boozy Bestie talks about threesomes! Oh and the time she suggested one as an anniversary gift. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving. Also, how do you bring up adding a partner in bed and more importantly, should it be done to spice up a relationship versus trying to salvage one.
July 04, 2021
Would You Rather...
Never mix inappropriate couples games and alcohol. The results are priceless. This week, your Boozy Bestie plays a naughty game of "Would You Rather" with her boo. They talk about the sex lives of their parents, finger sized nipples and who would enjoy sleeping with Rihanna. Grab a cocktail and your bae and join in on the fun!
June 27, 2021
But Am I a Slut?
A tale as old as time. If women sleep with many partners, they are "sluts". But a man can do the same and be a "playa". This week your Boozy Bestie tries to find common ground with this age old debate and ponders if she too is a slut!
June 21, 2021
I Seem to Have Lost My Virginity
Your Boozy Bestie and her boo talk about their first times and why one was like a horror film and the other involved Joey Diaz! We all have memories good or bad tied to our first time. What's yours?
June 14, 2021
Does Size Matter?
It's the first episode and why not talk about dick size? Join your Boozy Bestie and her boo as they debate if size truly matters. Does it equate to performance or are we just vain? And for added fun, drink every time they say "PENIS". Be sure to follow Desiree on IG, Twitter and TikTok @iamdsimone and follow her blog at
June 06, 2021