Diary of a Mad Black Man

This episode features Chris Colbert, who I met at podcast movement last year. It was incredible to meet someone who was very humble and willing to talk about our experiences, mental health and more. Be sure to check out this website at the link below.

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Over the past few years, I've learn to produce podcasts on my own. In diary entry 140, I lay out a few things that I important that I speak on.

This is a good conclusion to my conversation surrounding my mental health from the totality of my podcast and healing journey.

I unpack my past diagnosis with mental health, things I've learned about mental health vs mental illness, living with depression and anxiety and overcoming all of them and still thriving. Recorded in March of 2022, a great reflection on my podcast and mental health challenges.

The first VIP Annual Member to The Black Podcast Club!!!! Jen is the host of Woke by Accident podcast and part of my PodFam -basically, THIS MY POD SISTERRR!!!!! 

Since the podcast is coming to an end, I decided to allow some of my PodFam to interview me on the show, to provide more insight into me, my podcast journey, where I'm going and share some of my final episodes with my PODFAM!

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Nearly at the midway mark of the final season, in this diary entry, I recognize that I've gained community, life-long friends, & the necessary support to start thriving.

Diary of a Mad Black Man is coming to an end. This podcast and unexpected creative journey has been healing, therapeutic, and completely changed my life. I love myself unconditionally now and I also have to admit medication has helped. I am ready to focus on something new, something different. 

I'm glad that I am starting to live life on my own terms. Yes an end to a chapter is here, but a new chapter is beginning.

I recorded this episode 3 days after my birthday. I had been recording daily diary entries of me just unpacking my thoughts and this is one of the earlier entries. In this diary entry, I recognize a friend & our friendship no longer existed in the capacity it once did. I grieved the loss of a really good friend, someone I trusted, loved, confided in, and found real friendship with. 

I will always respect when someone is honest and truthful with you; yet the loss of a friendship hurts like death, because it is. the death of a friendship. And as they say... truth hurts.

What I've learned here is you want to always check in with someone before you emotionally dump or unpack your thoughts with somone. Even if said person has expressed they are open to being a listening ear, you should ALWAYS ask for permission. Some example phrases are: 

"do you have the emotional space to hear this?"

"can I share something with you that may be triggering?

"do you have the mental bandwith for me to share something with you?"

"you feel like hearing this bullshit?"

"can i tell you what I've been going through for real? you cool with me unpacking this with you?

Asking for permission is simultaneously protecting you and the other person's mental health. Creating a safe space for unpacking whatever you may share is an important step in the healing process. It also giving the other person the opportunity to check in with themselves, to be sure they are best prepared to listen, hear you, & support you.

Thanks for listening...

This diary entry is a deep reflection on the idea of "Letting go of the pain" I recorded on February 7th 2022. So this episode is really a reflection on my life from October/November 2021 - February 2022.  

In this vulnerable, raw diary entry, I was realizing I need to truly let go of the pain from my past, the pain that I carry and accept what is. The pain of my grandmother no loner being here...

I reflected on this idea of letting go of who I thought I was supposed to be and accepted who I am. Letting go of the need to control the world around me and focusing on a controlled environment.

What's up! In today's diary entry, I give you all an update on my mental health journey with medication after 9 weeks of taking Lexapro; a daily medication for depression and anxiety.

After listening, you'll have a better understanding of why its important to put yourself first and believe in you; trusting and believe that everything will be alright. It can be tough to make decisions in life that you NEED to do, especially when they are not what you WANT to do. 

Recently I have had to make decisions that are best for my mental health, although I did not want to make them deep down inside. As important as money is to my life and mental wellness, my mental wellness still takes a priority over money and anything else. It's literarily a matter of life or death for me if I don't.

Its the end of 2021 and I feel like I'm still processing 2020 in many ways but if you listen to this episode, you will know why this is the final episode for season 6 and I will be taking hard break from podcasting for some time. 

All I can say now is I will be back with new episodes sometime in the future. 

I hope you would follow/subscribe to my podcast here to know when I return. 

Be blessed, be kind, and remember, love involves action... especially self love.

Hey Everyone!

Welcome back to another great diary entry. A few major developments have happened since I recorded and released the previous episode. This has caused me to change a few things around in the production schedule however, we are not stopping! 

I just wanted to tap in with you all briefly as I continue to change and develop things moving forward. More importantly I have been healing in a different space, which has been very refreshing lately. I am entering a new chapter, and it is being further solidified, it's all about me.

Until the next diary entry, be blessed, be safe and spread love.

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Check out my website below for more information on where to find me and my podcast in the social media world.

In this diary entry, I give a 2 week update on my medication journey. It comes after I was doing some research on the medication I am currently taking. Its a short diary entry, one of many from this time period. However, the main reason I want to post this particular episode is to talk about the work of Dr. Nadine Burke Harris. 

Whats Good!

This diary entry was recorded in the early morning hours of Saturday September 25th after a long day at work. Although I am exhausted at the moment, it has been one of the best days I have had in a very long time. 

At the same time, I have recently accepted where I am mentally and have made intentional decisions to help myself be better. I never want to be a burden to anyone and I always want to take full responsibility for my mental health and wellness. 

Over the past week, I've deleted all my social media, almost closed my business, and isolated myself from the world, because my mental health is simply that bad right now. 

However, I am glad to create this episode as one small token of acknowledgement that shows, I am doing something about it. In this episode, I explain more on what I mean...

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Check out my website below for more information on where to find me and my podcast in the social media world.

IIGHT YALL THIS IS IT! SEASON 5 FINALE!

I literally decided while recording this episodes that this would be the end to season 5. I have been needing a break from because life is still happening and I need some time to adjust. 

This diary entry is also about how everything ended with podcast movement. How I got home and some more of the great things that happened while I was there. 

Im not sure how long this hiatus will be but be sure to follow me in the social media world because I will be doing more to engage with my audience, YOU! 

Thank you for listening and tuning in! See you all in season 6!

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This diary entry really talks about how I ended up being a speaker at Podcast Movement 2021! It was not planned but definitely divinely ordered! I started out just wanting to attend, ended up becoming.a volunteer, to then be asked to be a speaker! It was an amazing opportunity and I am forever grateful. 

This is part.2 of a 3 part episode talking all about podcast movement 2021! 

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What's up y'all, im back with another diary entry! This is the first of a 3 part episode all about my experience with Podcast Movement 2021. 

It was a lot for me personally to attend the worlds biggest podcast conference this year. Many obstacles and challenges presented themselves, especially in the week prior to going; but I managed to go, have  great time and experience a conference that im certain will have a positive impact on my podcast career moving forward.

Part 1 is mostly about all the things that tried to prevent me from attending. Basically this is all the bad before the good! It was all worth it in the end and im happy that I made it, against all odds!

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What's World! Back Again with a lil reflecky fleck (reflection) lol

I found this IG account called @selfcareisanecessity_ and it had some really dope posts I like! 1 - Forcing Positivity is Toxic & 2 - 9 things to remember about yourself. These were phenomenal and really dope to read and reflect on.

I hope this diary entry adds some positive energy to your life; not by force tho :) 

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Hey y'all, this was a quick and impulsive diary entry! I am madd hype about my new mic I recently purchased! It actually came as a kit with a Mic, boom stand and headphone! Although I only needed new headphones, I allowed myself to go ahead and buy everything because I wanted to! And it made me feel good.

So this episode is just a quick diary entry. I actually do these quite often but I went into this one with the mindset of releasing it. So here it is!

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In this 2 part diary entry I am joined by Zen J Jackson, a content creator, self-published author, illustrator, graphic designer, film producer, actor, mural artist, and storytelling coach. He is also a father of 3 and a plant based eater.

We met at Black Writers Weekend here in Atlanta and he is the Creator of Three Bunny Books is a book publishing platform, Blue Cocoon Films produces movies and screenplays. and Polina Chapa,  a fine art and mural business. Born in Hartford Connecticut he has deep ties to Jamaica and now resides in Atlanta, GA.  Zen "grew up with a Reggae musician for a father and a gangster for a Mother."

In this diary entry we discuss Storytelling, emotional awareness, self love and successful relationship and ultimately, "How to channel childhood trauma in positive ways and how to master craft your stories and life."

It was a pleasure to share space with such a great human being! And I am certain this is not the last you will hear from him on this podcast!

Find Zen in the social media world @zenjjackson or check out his website: zenjjackson.com

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In this 2 part diary entry I am joined by Zen J Jackson, a content creator, self-published author, illustrator, graphic designer, film producer, actor, mural artist, and storytelling coach. He is also a father of 3 and a plant based eater.

We met at Black Writers Weekend here in Atlanta and he is the Creator of Three Bunny Books is a book publishing platform, Blue Cocoon Films produces movies and screenplays. and Polina Chapa,  a fine art and mural business. Born in Hartford Connecticut he has deep ties to Jamaica and now resides in Atlanta, GA.  Zen "grew up with a Reggae musician for a father and a gangster for a Mother." 

In this diary entry we discuss Storytelling, emotional awareness, self love and successful relationship and ultimately, "How to channel childhood trauma in positive ways and how to master craft your stories and life."

It was a pleasure to share space with such a great human being! And I am certain this is not the last you will hear from him on this podcast!

*clears throat* soooo this diary entry is one of my favorites for sure! The first STUDIO RECORDED diary entry!

I am honored to have shared space with Christina and Malon, guest in this diary entry; both of these women amazing people I am blessed to have met.

In this diary entry we speak about our experiences participating in a documentary about sexual assault and non-consensual sex. This episode speaks on the experience taping for the documentary and how we felt afterwards; We recorded this episode a few weeks after the taping of the documentary. (coming out later this year)

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*clears throat* soooo this diary entry is one of my favorites for sure! The first STUDIO RECORDED diary entry! 

I am honored to have shared space with Christina and Malon, guest in this diary entry; both of these women amazing people I am blessed to have met. 

In this diary entry we speak about our experiences participating in a documentary about sexual assault and non-consensual sex. This episode speaks on the experience taping for the documentary and how we felt afterwards; We recorded this episode a few weeks after the taping of the documentary. (coming out later this year)

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In this 2 part diary entry, I had the pleasure of being joined by Mathew Reynolds. From the first time we met, we had an instant connections, especially as I listened to him speak about race. I knew from that moment, I had to have him share more of his story on the podcast!

We have a free flowing conversation that covers many topics from, Internalized racial oppressions, white supremacy, sexuality and self discovery. Mathew is currently a racial and social justice consultant; his company offers a range of services designed to enhance community relations, improve intra-organizational communications and awareness, and enrich lives through engagement, education, workshops, and presentations.

In this 2 part diary entry, I had the pleasure of being joined by Mathew Reynolds. From the first time we met, we had an instant connections, especially as I listened to him speak about race. I knew from that moment, I had to have him share more of his story on the podcast!

We have a free flowing conversation that covers many topics from, Internalized racial oppressions, white supremacy, sexuality and self discovery. Mathew is currently a racial and social justice consultant; his company offers a range of services designed to enhance community relations, improve intra-organizational communications and awareness, and enrich lives through engagement, education, workshops, and presentations.

This diary entry is a two part entry; Be sure you check out both episodes! I have the pleasure of having Janell, she is a Social Worker & Life Coach; also host of The JS Self Care Mind Body & Soul Podcast!!

In this diary entry, we talk about her journey to self care, self love and she offers some advice to others on a similar journey. I am beyond excited to finally let you all in on this dope diary entry! Be sure to check out Janell in the social media world @Jsselfcare

This diary entry is a two part entry; Be sure you check out both episodes! I have the pleasure of having Janell, she is a Social Worker & Life Coach; also host of The JS Self Care Mind Body & Soul Podcast!!

In this diary entry, we talk about her journey to self care, self love and she offers some advice to others on a similar journey. I am beyond excited to finally let you all in on this dope diary entry! Be sure to check out Janell in the social media world @Jsselfcare

In the diary entry, we have Kay Woods, an up and coming film producer, CEO and owner of RayneDrop Production Company from Little Rock, Arkansas. Kay also does behind the scenes work for 3 Guys No Lies Podcast!  

In this episode, we discuss her film & her life story. She grew up with my mother and grandma, she has experienced her own challenges with mental which led her to create her film about mental health. We were actually able to meet in person to record this episode so this is EXTRA special, especially after the year we just had. 

We are back with another episode with our sponsor, Monica, one of the owners fo Canna Comforts. 

Focused on bringing all natural products to be an alternative to prescription drugs, 2020 was a year that literally stopped the world. In this episode, me and Monica catch up & discuss where the business is and how COVID-19 impacted the cannabis industry. 

The economic landscape is completely different for almost every industry that exists. The cannabis industry is a unique and relatively new industry; even before the COVID-19 pandemic, the industry was going through many changes due to some states starting to legalize the use of cannabis and marijuana. 

In this episode, you will get a glimpse into how 2020 impacted the cannabis industry.

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AND WE ARE BACK WITH PART TEEEWWWW!!!! In case you decide to skip part 1 (which I don't understand why but Issa free world!) the description of the show is at the bottom.

I won't hold you too long in the description for PART 1 - However do 2 things for me please...

1 - Make sure you check out part 1, Diary entry 103, THIS IS PART 2!

I told myself that today was the day! I am not going to bed until I release this episode!

In this diary entry, I am going by Mental Health Therapist and Published Author, Keisha Barnes. Keisha's book, "Where's Your Tank," completely changed my life and how I view self care. The analogy behind the book is really a comparison to a gas tank. Where is your tank for YOU? Half, quarter tank? Or are you like me, always running on E!

I hope you all are able to take something positive away from this episode, which I am certain you will. I read Keisha's book a few months ago and I am still implementing changes into my life. However, as it says in the book, this is not a overnight change. It takes time and you must give yourself time to heal and adjust - we are human at the end of the day.