The Dirty Crime Boys
By Patrick Moore
The Dirty Crime BoysDec 05, 2020
THE KRUSTY KRAB (FEAT. JIMMY FALLON)
Dirty Crime Boys #9
-Joe is leaving our hometown in February… unless we get to a 100,000 plays
- Our 12 listeners need to become a cult
- How do you talk to a girl you like like?
- We created a cult under the religion of Joe and Pat
- Patrick’s Hail Mary play coming soon
- College Freshman Year experiences: How Joe ended moving out.
- Crime: Joe makes his summer fling wifey and how the relationship lead to heart break
- How they met? How they fell in love at a theater kids party
- But everything in college changed
- Why does Josephine break up with Joe?
- who's got the KRABS?
SMELL YA LATER (FEAT. JIMMY FALLON)
Opening: Patrick talks about his very really girlfriend Tracey that lives in Georgia or Nigeria
How much money pat gives her, how they met, and why she enjoys feet pics
What’s the dirtiest thing you did today?
Why do they have 20 year old play high schoolers in shows in movies?
Hunger Games School
Setting: 7th grade blue team
The story of a young Romelo: worms in his pocket, peeing over a stall into a urinal, stuck in a shopping cart on YouTube, and him pretending to be illiterate
Crime: somebody stinking up the school for a straight week
Suspects: Jebediah ( the greaser type)
Tobias (generic nerd)
Flavor Flav (big Hamilton fan, theater type) dressed up as Gandalf the Grey
The infamous fight over cut hair
Embarrassing moment in pat’s life he created an instagram account for gollum (lord of the rings) called gollum lovers
Interesting encounter with Tobias
Bonus Story: How Pat got one shotted in the face by a angry female
SPONGEBOB PORN (FEAT. JIMMY FALLON)
Dirty Crime Boys #7
- Joeys world tour food reviews shout out
- Joeys only fans?
- Is zac Efron ted bundy?
- Mitt Romney—> Mormons—>Caffeine——> Soaking?
- The crime: Sleepover with Spongebob Porn?
- Bradley Stooper’s tragic past
- Jimmy Fallon harasses us
- The sleepover commence : freeze tag and deep talks
- Who wanks? Bradley, the trav man, Dougster
FUTON MORE LIKE PUKE-TON (FEAT. JIMMY FALLON)
Dirty Crime boys #6
- Eminem is he good or does he just rap fast?
- Nick cannon
- Quick scat session
- Setting: St. Patrick’s day weekend
- Road trip to a big college
- Party in the USA—-> Miley Cyrus———> why did she break up with that hemsworth brother
- The other hemsworth brother skit (Jeff Hemsworth)
- Classic college party experience
- Jeff gets a intervention?
- Joe’s fascination with the minion movie
- Football party: epic
- Frat party: more epic
- Who puked on the futon?
- Was it Jeff? Joe? Jartus? FeFe? Pat?
- The boys solve another nail biter
BOTTOMLESS LIES (FEAT. JIMMY FALLON)
Dirty Crime Boys #5
- Tinder Game and finding wifey
- Matching with Lucifer
- Would the devil be too much in the bed
- Joe’s go to song when depressed
- The crime: The Red Robin field trip
- Are the fries really bottomless? Pats battle with the fries
- Joe’s trial tribulations
- Poopy pants
- Does the patriots dynasty turn Joe on?
- Bus drivers be like…
- Poop in a bag= classic prank
- Was this the worst crime yet?
- Couple of the year?
- Was the crime a family crime…?
- Will Emma ever return?
THE PARTY IN MY PANTS (FEATURING JIMMY FALLON)
Dirty crime boys #4
Soft Opening:
Which cycle is the best (bicycle, tricycle, unicycle)
Hozier talk (best song)
Ejaculation with flaccid penis talk 4:20
Wet dreams and not cranking it
I fart at 10:45
Difference between being stoner and having pink eye
The crime:
Janessa’s Classic Graduation party setting
The PANTSING and GRANNY PANTIES
High school musical rating
Introducing : Stevey boy, Jonas, and Olivia
Who did it?
TOTAL LAKEHOUSE DRAMA (FEATURING JIMMY FALLON)
Joe and Pat are talking:
Dog and peanut butter
Deadpool is actually Ryan Reynolds
Classic vine references
Total lake house drama
Difference between a party and kickback
Introduction to Rock
“Cognitive mind mapping”
Did the boys get laid?
The feud between rock and Mikey
The pantsing and the micro problem
Who kills who?
CHUNKY MILK (FEATURING JIMMY FALLON)
Joe and Pat are talking another classic crime. Who put the milk in the Spanish classroom? Like the last episode they go on many tangents that unveils pat might have been bullied in said class. Another classic episode for true crime fans.