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Divorced Muslim Dad 🐻

Divorced Muslim Dad 🐻

By @moiazam
Married at 24. Divorced at 34. 2 kids and yeah the whole immigrant Muslim thing. This podcast series is about faith, relationships and parenthood. Sporadic episodes...
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S2:Ep3 - Boys Will Be Boys 🥸😡 w/ Alyas Karmani
Alyas is back in the hot seat and this time he’s got a bee in his bonnet about…the Manosphere! Never heard of it? Well in short it represents an online global movement of disenfranchised men who wish to reassert there masculine identity through misogynistic rhetoric, extreme ideology and violence. Alerted by a distraught Muslim mother who felt her son was being groomed online to hate women Alyas undertook an 18 month deep dive in to the dark heart of the Manosphere. And what he found left him shaken to his very core... Pls contact us here with your comments and suggestions: Email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Tw/Insta: @moiazam Manosphere definition (Wikipedia) The manosphere is a collection of websites, blogs, and online forums promoting masculinity, misogyny, and strong opposition to feminism. Communities within the manosphere include men's rights activists, incels (involuntary celibates), Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), pick-up artists (PUA), and fathers' rights groups.
01:17:20
January 26, 2022
S2:Ep2 - Dating the Divorced 😱 w/ Shemsah Farooq 🎓
When’s the last time you changed your mind? I don’t mean about what to have for breakfast but changed your mind about a deeply held belief? Its not an easy thing to do but by challenging our assumptions we can sometimes see the world more clearly. That’s what Shemsah Farooq did by re-examining her beliefs about who she might like to marry. As a never previously married high flying professional Muslim woman she had always thought she should try to find a spouse of a similar status; but all that changed a couple of years ago on the eve of the pandemic. As usual this is a meandering conversation with the air of two people shooting the breeze about the oddities of Muslim dating :) Some of the topics we discuss are: - Halal pandemic dating. - Why people find it hard to meet and prefer to text. - Finding a spouse without fixating on trying to find a spouse. - Managing mismatched expectations and rejection. - How a good healthy divorce purges bad habits, builds resilience and develops depth of character. - Wondering if single people can cope with a divorcee. - Why it might be in your interest to widen your search. - The pros/cons of marrying a divorcee. - The difference between baggage and experience. - How to retain optimism in your search. - And ‘Living the possibility of love’. :) If you have any comments, feedback or suggestions pls DM me on Twitter/Insta: @moiazam Or email me divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Enjoy! Imran
56:07
October 22, 2021
S2:Ep1 - Will your lawyer talk to God? 👨‍⚖️👩‍⚖️ w/ Sarah Khan Bashir MBE
In this episode I speak with Sarah Khan Bashir, a Muslim lawyer based in the UK. Sarah runs SKB Law; a specialist Family Law firm providing services to the Muslim and South East Asian community. Its a fascinating meandering conversation where we shoot the breeze about: - Whether you really need to get lawyers involved when splitting up - Why Muslims are getting divorced these days - Intra-family marriage dynamics - What ‘Vata Sata’ is (?!) - Navigating the grey area between therapy and legal advice - Balancing commercial goals vs providing a community service Sarah was super to speak with and I hope you get something from our discussion. Feedback welcome: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com DM: @moiazam on Tw/Insta
02:21:28
July 29, 2021
Ep13: Why won’t she change? 🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏽‍♀️ w/ Anonymous
Whilst I’ve been publishing this podcast series over the last 12 months a number of listeners have emailed me about their relationship dilemmas. In this episode we hear from ‘Naeem’; a young, educated, articulate Muslim guy from India who takes his faith seriously. He’s keen to get married and has met someone Jess fallen in love with. At the beginning things are great between them but as time goes on the cracks begin to appear. Should he try to hold it together or call it off? If you want to comment on anything you’ve heard in this episode please use #dmdad on Twitter or Instagram and we can carry on the conversation. Please remember to be respectful when offering opinion. General contact: @moiazam tw/insta or email DivorcedMuslimDad@Gmail.com
24:38
February 04, 2020
Ep12: A Guide to Online Dating 🤡 😇
I've been dating since my divorce in 2011; trying to navigate the new world of online dating whilst adhering to the tenants of my faith has been the trickiest of balancing acts. I've made a tonne of mistakes over the years meaning wasted time, money and emotional energy. Although I'm yet to find success online it hasn't made me a relationship sceptic; if anything the amazing women I've met along the way have given me hope for the future. In this episode I discuss what it was like to date after a ten year marriage, the challenges of Muslim dating, why I date non Muslim women and the best way to find a date online. Enjoy. Get in touch. Insta: @moiazam / divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com
01:01:05
January 05, 2020
Ep11: Your Emotional Maturity 🎭🤒
It's clear that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships. If that's the case then it makes sense to assess how we behave with people we care about; especially when they act in a way we find hurtful. Is our reponse constructive or destructive? Do we seek to engage and resolve or hide away? Are we prepared to be honest, brave and vulnerable? In this short but essential episode you'll find out how to assess your own level of emotional maturity and why embarking on the journey towards improving it makes for happier healthier relationships with our partners. Comments/feedback/critique welcome: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com or DM @moiazam on Twitter/Instagram
20:41
November 30, 2019
Insights: A Spiritual Awakening 💆‍♀️💆‍♂️ w/ Alyas Karmani
Good looks? Check. Great job? Check. Good Muslim? Check. Shared interests? Check. Great family? Check? Emotionaly healthy? Check. Now if you manage to find someone to marry that ticks all these boxes then you've hit the jackpot right? Well not necessarily. There's another dimension you really should consider that's absolutely crucial; spiritual compatability. In this episode of Insights Alyas and I discuss what 'spirtual compatability' is, how it should manifest in a marriage, how it differs from religious compatability, why searching for 'a good Muslim' isn't enough and what we can do to develope our spiritual nature. This episodes was so much fun to record. The time flew by. Always a good sign. I hope you get something from it. Comments/feedback/critique welcome: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com or DM @moiazam on Twitter/Instagram
01:06:46
November 03, 2019
Ep10: I'm Getting Divorced 🧔🏽💔🧕🏻
It's taken a bit longer than expected but in this episode I'm finally talking about my divorce: how we went about it, the emotional journey I've undertaken and some of the lessons I've learned. You'll also hear why I believe emotional compatibility between couples is more important than having common interests, why you're probably wasting your time looking for a soulmate and why 'til death do us part' is highly unlikely. This one's probably best listened to when you have done quiet time to yourself. Chk it out. Listen I do love hearing from you so don't by shy, get in touch here: DM Tw/Insta: @moiazam or divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com
48:49
October 21, 2019
Ep9: Finding Love After Divorce 💔💘 w/ Tariq Rasul
Tariq is a dear friend; someone I've known for over 20 years. He married in 1996 and 16 years and 4 kids later he experienced the anguish of a painful divorce. Remarkably only 12 months later he found love again in a far away land. As someone who has been single after divorce for many years I wanted to hear first hand how he overcame the heartache and trauma and how he was able to find the capacity to love again. I thought I knew everything about Tariq's story but whilst recording this episode he opened up like never before and laid his soul bare. So much to take away from this one. If you have comments/feedback/question please do contact me here: tw/Insta @moiazam or divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com
48:05
September 27, 2019
Insights: The Wedding Night 😏💋 w/ Alyas Karmani
A newly married couples first experience of intimacy togther is a critical moment that sets the tone for the immediate and perhaps long term future of a relationship. In this episode Alyas Karmani (imam, psychologist, sex therapist) and I speak candidly about intimacy problems Muslim couples experience, the increasing prevalence of psychosexual disfunction, the impact of pornography on sexualities health and the path to a happy sex life. It's a frank and open episode so if you're of a sensitive disposition you might want to give it a miss but I'd encourage you to 'lie back and think of England' as they say and give it a go! All jokes aside I hope by the end you feel it was a well worth 45mins of your time. As usual if you want to send any questions, comments or constructive feedback please contact me at divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com or @moiazam on Twitter/Instagram.
47:25
September 08, 2019
Ep8: Muslim Dad Syndrome 🕺🏽👳🏽‍♂️
Becoming a father is straight forward. Being a dad is not. Add to the mix the desire to bring up your children as Muslims at a time when Islam is under the spotlight doesn't lighten the load. In this episode I talk about my experience of becoming a father and my sometimes painful transition to embracing parenthood. I talk about helping my kids to forge their Islamic identity in a hostile environment, the difference between managing kids and parenting and why living your life through your kids is a recipe for disaster. Check it out. Enquiries: Tw/Insta: @moiazam / divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com (If you are a woman and have a perspective on relationships within the Muslim community then please get in touch. I'm keen to include a female voice on this podcast)
01:14:40
August 21, 2019
Insights: Demanding Women 🧕💪 w/ Alyas Karmani
It's summertime here in the UK and that means one thing...wall to wall weddings! You just can't move for invitations. But something strange had happened over the years with the simple wedding transformed into incredibly elaborate and extravagant affairs with no expense spared and nothing left to chance. But what about the actual marriage itself? How much marriage planning had gone in to ensuring the happy couple stands the best chance of remaining happy? As usual Alyas Karmani (Imam, Psychologist, Counsellor) had a great deal to say on this episode: why the Islamic marriage contract (Nikkah) reflects long term thinking, why he doesn't want it recognised under English law and why women should demand their worth! Check it out. Please get in touch here: Tw/Insta: @moiazam / divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com (If you are a woman and have a perspective on relationships within the Muslim community then please get in touch. I'm keen to include a female voice on this podcast)
55:43
July 21, 2019
Insights: Pram Wars 👶🏴‍☠️ w/ Alyas Karmani
As the birth of our first child approached we did what any excited couple would do…we went pram shopping! But little did we know what this seemingly innocuous event would reveal so much about ourselves and our relationship. In this episode Alyas and I chat about conflict in relationships and the lost art of negotiation and compromise. This is the fourth episode in the ‘insights' series: a deep dive in to specific aspects of relationships as viewed and experienced through the prism of being UK born Muslims. Gotta question: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com / tw/insta: @moiazam
40:43
July 06, 2019
Insights: Don't Ignore Mental Health 😣 w/ Alyas Karmani
In this episode Alyas and I discuss how mental health can impact relationships and conversely how relationships are impacted by mental health. This is the third in the 'insights' series: a deep divie into specific aspects of Muslim relationships provided by counselor Alyas Karmani. Check it out. tw/Insta: @moiazam
47:13
May 31, 2019
Insights: 8 tips for a happy marriage 💑 w/ Alyas Karmani
This is the second in the 'insights' series: a deeper dive into specific aspects of Muslim relationships provided by counselor Alyas Karmani. In this episode Alyas offers 8 behavioural traits - based on extensive research and experience - that lead to nurturing and sustaining a successful marriage. Always super fun talking to Al. Check it out.
31:21
May 14, 2019
Ep7: It's Over?! 💔
How do you know when a relationship is over? Like really over? Throughout my 10 year marriage there were countless moments I thought we shouldn’t be together but we endured oblivious to the walls slowly crumbling around us.  I guess what I'm asking is; at what point you should call it day even though you’re not 100% sure why? Email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com tw/insta: @moiazam
46:41
April 26, 2019
Introducing the 'Insights' series w/ Alyas Karmani 👥
Remember Alyas Karmani? Of course you do! On one of my previous episodes he spoke passionately about his experiences of counselling Muslim couples over the last 25 years but painted a bleak picture of the future if the quality of relationships in the community didn't change for the better asap. It got me thinking: how can we start to affect change? 'Insights' is a new series of conversations that delve deeper in to relationship topics that impact the lives of Muslims and offers some practical advice. In this first episode Alyas and I discuss the subject of compatibility: how Islam describes it, why you can't ignore it and how to find it. Fascinating stuff.
30:43
April 05, 2019
Ep6: Fear & Loathing 😨
The vast majority of Muslims who live in the UK are people of colour. Many, if not all, have suffered some form of racism at some point in their lives and - with the rise of Islamophobia - are left feeling anxious and fearful. The ability to process these emotions healthily may be the only thing that stands between you and a failed relationship. Email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com tw/insta: @moiazam
30:34
March 30, 2019
Update: So Intense 😣
An update on this podcast...
02:17
February 13, 2019
BONUS Episode: The Front Line w/ Alyas Karmani ⛑
Following on from ‘Ep5: Couples Therapy’ this is a special bonus episode that I’m sure you’re going to love listening to. Alyas Karmani is a highly qualified relationship therapist who primarily works with the UK Muslim community. A few days ago we took some time out to chat about what he has learned from 25 years of counselling Muslim couples and uncover what it’s really like to be on the front line of Muslim relationship problems. Remember I really do love hearing your thoughts, comments and questions. If you’d like to get in touch pls email or content via: Email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com Tw: http://twitter.com/moiazam Insta: www.instagram.com/moiazam If you like the podcast and want to support it pls help spread the word by: 1. Sharing this episode with a friend via WhatsApp or text msg 2. Posting on social using #dmdad 3. Leaving a nice review and meaningful comment on iTunes Thanks for taking the time to listen ❤️
49:50
January 23, 2019
Ep5: Couples Therapy 👫
We quickly found out that there was a major difference between the idea of being married and actually being married: we were both young, unemployed, poor and emotionally clueless. We were clearly going to need a lot of help if we were going to make it work... email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com tw/insta: @moiazam
48:18
January 15, 2019
Ep4: The Jesus Complex 🙏
Christmas time was always a contentious time of year for us. From the very beginning I couldn’t understand why it was such an important time of year for her. For me ignoring Christmas was something I needed to do. But when the kids arrived something had to give... email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com tw/insta: @moiazam
25:26
December 25, 2018
Ep3: Playing The Field 🧕🏻
Only two things mattered to me after graduation: getting a great job and finally finding a wife. These were the two pillars I wanted to build the next stage of my life on...but it was never going to be that simple... twitter/insta: @moiazam divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com
54:21
December 11, 2018
Ep2: Dating Games 🙅🏽‍♂️
Getting married at the age of 24 with no job, little money and even less relationship experience doesn’t sound like the best of ideas but that’s where I found myself in 2001. The question is: how did I reach that point? twitter/insta: @moiazam divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com
42:34
November 26, 2018
Ep1 - Grand Gestures 🤩
Ever been in a relationship where you’re just not getting on and you really don’t know why? I mean if you don’t know why then what can you really do to fix it? Well we reached that point in 2007 after 2 kids and 6 years of marriage...and I had no idea what to do... twitter/insta: @moiazam divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com #dmdad
22:26
November 15, 2018
Intro: This podcast is a GOOD bad idea 😶
Sharing stories from my failed 10 year marriage via a podcast doesn’t sound like one of my brightest ideas but something in the back of my head tells me it is absolutely the right thing to do. And as I rate the back if my head quite highly here we are. I can’t put my finger on exactly why it might be absolutely the right thing to do but I think it’s got something to do with ‘helping’. Helping me perhaps and I guess if it might help me then it might help someone else. That’s as far as my brain has got with this I’m afraid. Sorry about that. So if by chance you happen to be interested in hearing about the pain, joy, hope and despair that comes with marriage, divorce and parenthood from the perspective of a Muslim in the UK then subscribing to this podcast is probably your a good idea. Ok...(deep breathe)...let’s get started... twitter/insta: @moiazam divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com #dmdad
03:13
November 07, 2018