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DONT WATCH THIS FILM

DONT WATCH THIS FILM

By W. Adam Clarke
Welcome to Don’t Watch This Film, the horror podcast where we watch some of the worst horror movies in history so you don’t have to!
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Episode 27: Jaws 4 The Revenge (1987)
A movie with lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes.  A film so terrible it not only killed a shark, but also a franchise. SHARK WEEK MONTH begins with Adam and Tia examining the... experience that is Jaws 4 The Revenge. Is it as bad as everyone says?  Oh yes. However... this movie is also responsible for some good in Hollywood.  How, you ask?  See, that's called a teaser. Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
58:37
August 2, 2021
Episode 26: Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Summer Fun Month concludes with our review of the 1983 "Camp Horror Classic," Sleepaway Camp.  Adam and Tia spend an hour (more, trust me!) debating the identity of this movie, and its place in Horror History. Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:09:46
July 31, 2021
Episode 25: Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)
Summer Fun Month continues with the Vito Trabucco/Reggie Bannister... classic?... Bloody Bloody Bible Camp.  A love letter to 70s/80s slasher horror, if you could write love letters using block crayons and carpenter pencils.  Oh boy... how bad is it?  Listen in and find out! Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
56:27
July 19, 2021
Episode 24: Summer Camp (2015)
Summer Fun Month continues with our review of a little-known film from 2015, Alberto Marini's Summer Camp.  Trust me, it's not the film you're expecting! Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
57:12
July 12, 2021
Episode 23: Uncle Sam (1996)
Happy 4th of July, Everyone! In honor of this summer spectacle, Summer Fun Month begins with a holiday horror film that, let's face it, we'd have all been better off if it just went AWOL. Hopefully, it won't ruin the barbeque! Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:05:12
July 5, 2021
Episode 22: Halloweens (1978, 2007, 2018)
Reboot Month comes to a close, with perhaps the grand-daddy of all rebooted properties... Halloween.   Tia and Adam take a look at the original classic, the Rob Zombie 2007 reboot, and the newest 2018 reboot, in an attempt to make sense of the Shape of Evil.  Let's just hope they didn't have to shoot the episode six times.  Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:08:09
June 28, 2021
Episode 21: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
1, 2, Reboot's coming for you... By selection of our wonderful and loyal Patrons, the third film we look at in Reboot Month is the 2010 remake of the 1984 classic "A Nightmare on Elm Street."   Jackie Earl Haley reprises Robert Englund's star-making role, but is this film a dream, or a nightmare?  Let's find out!  Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:02:36
June 21, 2021
Episode 20: House of Wax (2005)
This week Adam and Tia discuss the remake of 1953's House of Wax... or maybe 1979's tourist Trap... or maybe the second reboot of 1962's Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, or maybe a couple of other properties.  It's... complicated.  But worth a listen, because we think the ending will surprise you.  Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:39:17
June 15, 2021
Episode 19: Wickerman (2006)
Welcome to Reboot month! A whole month where we look at movies that were so iconic, so groundbreaking, so captivating that someone decades later thought they could still make a quick buck off of them! Our first film this month will be Wickerman (2006), Nick Cage's remake of the Christopher Lee 1973 classic.  Does the remake hold up? Well, you're gonna find out soon enough.  Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
52:50
June 7, 2021
Episode 18: Lifeforce (1985)
What happens when you get an award winning score writer, the director of Poltergeist and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a co-writer of Aliens, and some of the best British acting talent of their generation all together for a Scifi Horror Feature based on an award winning novel?   Well, not much, oddly enough.   How? Why? Well, that's what we're here to discuss! Special thanks to our Patreon supporters for selecting this film for this month.  Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
55:24
June 1, 2021
Episode 17: The Empty Man (2020)
On the trail of a missing girl, an ex-cop comes across a secretive group attempting to summon a terrifying supernatural entity. On the trail of missing box office returns, two podcasters come across a secretive film attempting to modernize a nearly 100-year-old Noir storyline.  Is the result terrifying and supernatural, or terrifyingly and supernaturally bad? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!    Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
58:10
May 24, 2021
Episode 16: Zombeavers (2014)
Three college girls go on a care-free vacation of drinking games, topless sunbathing, and being devoured by zombified beavers.  Adam and Tia go on a less care-free exploration of that movie, possibly also with drinking games and topless sunbathing.  I mean, it's only audio, who's gonna know?  Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
50:52
May 17, 2021
Episode 15: Of Unknown Origin (1983)
Before Robocop, before Gene Simmons, and before LEVIATHAN or TOMBSTONE, George P Cosmatos directed Peter Weller and Shannon Tweed in the horrors of living in NYC and dealing with... a single rat.  Or... did he?  Adam and Tia discuss the terror of OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN, and how it might be a completely different movie than what it appears to be... Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf , or email us at dwtfmailbag@gmail.com Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
58:19
May 10, 2021
Episode 14: The Video Dead (1987)
Adam and Tia watch one of the worst horror movies ever. Literally. so you don't have to. Seriously, please don't.  It's terrible. How terrible?  Listen and find out!  Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
48:53
May 5, 2021
Episode 13: Forbidden World (1982)
From the offices of New World Cinema, the mind of Roger Corman, and the poll of our Patrons, comes... DEEP SPACE HORROR! Adam and Tia discuss the... unusual tale of what happens when Roger Corman borrows from not one, not two, but three of his own films in an attempt to make a project even quicker and cheaper than usual. Will this film fly to the stars, or will it remain forbidden.  tune in to find out! Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
57:57
April 26, 2021
Episode 12: Velocipastor (2018)
After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas. Guess what?  That's the IMDB intro, I didn't even write that.  This week, Adam and Tia review... that blurb up there. Seriously. This is really a film. Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
51:01
April 19, 2021
Episode 11: Troll 2 (1990)
This week Adam and Tia dive into the cult.... um, classic?... that is Troll 2.  Yes, The "Best Worst Movie" that launched a thousand (okay, one) memes. Does it live up to its hype, both good and bad?  Only one way to know for sure!  Special thanks to Patron Steel33Eye for requesting this episode.  Please visit his Twitch channel at twitch.com/steel33eye , and tell him Adam and Tia sent you. Want to talk to us about the episode?  Hit us up on twitter at @dontwatchthisf Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:01:53
April 12, 2021
Episode 10: Bunnymann Grindhouse Edition (2019)
Happy Easter Everyone! We wanted to give you something holiday-themed, so we dug up this rotten egg of a film.  Adam and tia sat through this one so you don't have to.  Oh, it's bad, real bad. How bad?  Listen in! Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
58:18
April 5, 2021
Ep 09: Night of the Comet (1984)
What should have been a long-running Thom Eberhardt franchise, and a star-making vehicle for Catherine Mary Stewart and Kelli Maroney, instead all but disappears from existence and gets stuck in a red-dust-filled vault for the better part of two decades. How does a critically lauded speculative fiction film which manages to make 2,000% of its budget even though it opened against Nightmare on Elm Street *NOT* manage to become a fifteen film franchise from the mid-eighties?  Click that play button to find out! Special thanks to all our lovely lovely Patreon supporters who selected this movie! Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:17:28
March 29, 2021
Episode 08: Doom (2005)
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Karl Urban. Rosamund Pike. Deobia Oparei. Razaaq Adoti.  Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak (The director of Falling Down and Speed), and the Producers of Love & Mercy, Stardust, and Bumblebee, making a film based upon one of the longest-running horror video game franchises in existence.   HOW DO YOU MISS  ON THIS ? Tia and Adam step into the portal to visit a Mars that never was, to a movie that maybe shouldn't have been.  Is it as bad as you remember? Is it worse?  Lock and load, Marines, it's time to find out! Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:05:26
March 22, 2021
Episode 07: Leprechaun (1993)
Jennifer Aniston. Warwick Davis. A guy who looks like Kevin Bacon but isn't. It's 1993, when all three of these things either are or very soon will be massive draws.  Is Leprechaun (1993) a pot of gold, or is it just some fae trickery?  Adam and Tia bring you this near-thirty-year-old holiday classic, along with a bit of a split vote on it! Is the Luck of the Irish with this one?  Tune in to find out!  Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
55:42
March 15, 2021
Episode 06: Death Bed: The Bed that Eats (1977)
What happens when a lost small-budget horror film from 1977 gets rediscovered in the beginning of the 21st century?  Well, in this case, absolutely nothing good.  Adam and Tia try to stay awake through a movie desperately trying to lull them to sleep.  How bad is it?  Listen and learn, friends! Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:14:20
March 8, 2021
Episode 05: PG: Psycho Goreman (2020)
From the distant planet of Gigax comes a film to destroy all others.  Will Adam and Tia bow down to the Archduke of Nightmares, or is PG: Psycho Goreman just another film you shouldn't watch?  Tune in to find out!  Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:04:13
March 1, 2021
Episode 04: Zombie with a Shotgun (2019)
What do you get when you mix a webisode series, a comic book, a zombie, and a shotgun in a blender? A really big mess, probably.  This week, Adam and Tia review the new cult sensation ZOMBIE WITH A SHOTGUN.  Does this film rise from the grave, or just sit and fester? Tune in to find out! Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:10:13
February 22, 2021
Episode 03: Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
In this episode of the podcast, Adam and Tia review the kult klassic Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988). When kosmic killer knowns kollect in the kollege town of krescent kove, kan our kreative trio keep the kaos under kontrol? Kan Adam and Tia kalmly komplete this episode?  Will my spellchecker ever be the same?     Requested by backer Chris Mallory.  If you would like to support the podcast, visit our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/dontwatchthisfilm  Even a $1 pledge is exceptionally helpful, and we thank you. Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
56:59
February 15, 2021
Episode 02: My Bloody Valentine (1981)
Happy Valentine's Day, loyal listeners! For your holiday treat, Adam and Tia review the slasher classic My Bloody Valentine, just in time for the 40th anniversary of the film!  Does this horror classic of a bygone era hold up today?  Will it lead to nothing but heartbreak? Only one way to find out! Intro/outro theme "Mortus" by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/
01:02:28
February 8, 2021
Episode 01: See No Evil (2006)
In this pilot episode for the podcast, Adam and Tia review See No Evil (2006) starring Glenn Jacobs, aka Kane.  Does this slash its way to the top of the DWTF-O-Meter, or will it get hacked to pieces? Requested by Gregorio Franco.  Check out his Bandcamp page at https://gregoriofranco.bandcamp.com/ Special thanks to this episode's Patreon supporters, Adrian Sandu and Ali Alcatraz. If you would like to support the podcast, visit our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/dontwatchthisfilm  Even a $1 pledge is exceptionally helpful, and we thank you. 
01:04:31
February 1, 2021