Teacher & Student Coping Mechanisms During Conflicts

There are children who are abused at home.  You want to argue with them at school because they're being difficult?  Trade places with them.  No.  That's not realistic so as teachers and adults you must have compassion and empathy.  And then you must employ strategies to manage them.

Executive functioning is learned.  It's the adults responsibility to teach children how to cope when their emotions are high.  This is a failure when you, the adult, find yourself yelling at or arguing with a student.

Executive functioning, which includes emotional regulation, is not inherent, it has to be developed.  It is the responsibility of the adult teacher to have developed their own executive functioning in order to regulate their own emotional-self so that they do not exacerbate the situation with the child student.  One overlooked issue students struggle with (besides a horrific social setting) is self-identity.  This Podcast takes a look at executive functioning and a bi-racial (black & white) child's struggle with self-identity, ultimately choosing comfort with Hispanic people on his journey to Spanish Harlem at eight years old.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) signify the level of one's trauma.  It's very difficult to truly understand how much trauma a child absorbs.  The initial defense mechanism, or "fight" against trauma are one's coping mechanisms.  Picture coping mechanisms as the infantry in a traditional war and the resilience as the air support.  I find the relationship between student and teacher fascinating.  Unhealthy relationships are rarely discussed.  Errors on both ends, student and teacher are almost never observed with suggestive repair or correction (especially on the adult side of ownership).  Explore with me as I discuss trauma and coping mechanisms with another unique story about a child from the projects who knew his mother drank excessively, but not to forget her troubles, but instead to remember them... 

Humor is a coping mechanism.  Listen to Little Eddie as he tells a funny tale of how he found safety in a pile of old photos that he pretended were members of his "normal" family.  Children who experience trauma and who have high levels of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) are often misunderstood during moments of crisis as they attempt to manage their emotions.  In this moment children (students in a public school) employ coping mechanisms.  How the adult responds to these coping mechanisms determines if there are added stressors to the already high levels of anxiety, fear and emotional instability.  A third factor is the secondary trauma and coping mechanisms that enter the room through the adult (teacher).