Grief Keeping You Down?

I am Dr Dunni, your host on this podcast, and I am glad to be on this journey with you. Grief has quite an extensive effect and no predetermined timeline. Some days are great, and others not so much. Is grief keeping you down? What can you do about it?

In today's episode, we'll be talking about being able to cry. When we talk about crying, you remember probably a child being upset, a baby when the baby is born.

And by the time you think about all those scenarios where people have cried from the moment they were born till now, some are mixed with joy. Some are mixed with laughter. Some are full of sadness, deep regrets, and some are filled with fear.

Sometimes people think you should not cry in front of others. But if that is your way of expressing emotion. It's okay to allow your emotions to be expressed. Repressed emotions have never brought good to anyone. They stay in pent up and can cause illnesses.

However, whenever you want to express your emotions and show that you are not doing harm to anyone. The reason why I mentioned that is because someone might say, 'I get angry, and I hit things when I get angry. That is my mode of expression.' So if someone who gets angry hits things, if it is a human being that is close to them, they might actually hit someone, and hurt someone. So please be mindful that whenever you expressing your emotions, you are not expressing them in a way that hurts, anyone, including yourself.

When you are expressing pain, especially when it comes after a loss. You need to realise that sometimes the cry, can be a sense of relief. It can give you respite from the overwhelming emotions the tsunami that you're going through.

Of course I had lost my father. And every time I thought perhaps this could be changed, it dawned on me that no, it seemed to be a permanent thing.

Crying was a way that I expressed that pain. And there were also moments where it came as sobs and moments where the cry was the loud, ugly cry. Crying has helped a great deal. 

So if today you are feeling down, because of a loss you have experienced. If today you feel you need a moment to cry. If today you feel that there is a need for you to express your emotions that have been pent up, or that are building up, feel free to cry.

I recognise that some cultures do not support crying. Also, there are some reservations when it comes to crying, especially among certain genders. We have seen that in many statements like 'Men don't cry. 'Boys Don't Cry', 'Be a man, man up. But that only leads to suppressed and repressed emotions.

If you are a mum, there is also a bit of guilt when it comes to crying. People think that if you cry in front of your children, it scars you for life and it scars them for life. Well, there are two ways to look at it. When you cry in front of your children. You show your humanity. You also realise that you can express yourself in front of them. But then you also are able to teach them that they can express their emotions. They know that there are moments of sadness and joy and anger and fear. But if they do not know how to express it, they might build the emotions up in such a way that it might cause them distress. This is such a great way of building their emotional resilience.

I would love to know your thoughts, please complete the poll.

Don't forget to subscribe, and please give us a review as we would like to know your thoughts. Share this with someone. You never know whose life you will be impacted by letting them know that it's okay to express their emotions, even if they feel the need to cry. Take care.

When we experience loss, we remember the date and that date can be a painful reminder of our loss. It can cause pain but does not have to remain that way.

As you approach the anniversary, remember to:

Care for you first

Crying is okay if you want too

Don't do it alone- surround yourself with people

Ask for help

Practice gratitude

Accept where you are and look to a brighter future

In today’s episode, we would be talking about the exhaustion we feel while grieving.

We are hit on all sides no wonder we feel exhausted all the time. They come as:

• Physical exhaustion
  
• Mental exhaustion
  
• Emotional exhaustion
  

In this episode I share ways by which we can be proactive in the care of our mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.

Listen to the end and learn more about easy to do practices you can incorporate into your day.

In today’s episode, we would be talking about unhealthy grieving.

While grieving can be a long term process, the way we respond can be enabling or disabling. What makes grief unhealthy is reaction to the feelings and the impact on your wellbeing and that of others.

Do you recall the time you got home and poured yourself a glass of wine when you had a bad day and that glass became a bottle? The temptation to self medicate is a slippery slope to unhealthy grieving. The self medication can take the place of:

• Alcohol
  
• Food
  
• Street drugs
  
• Prescription medications
  
• Gaming etc
  

Another unhealthy grieving process is when you are:

• having thoughts of self harm or harming others;
  
• Having passive or active suicidal thoughts
  

Listen to the end and learn more about the unhealthy grieving. In moments like this we need to seek help especially professional help and provide support for those who are grieving.

In today’s episode, we would be talking about grief and crying.

Crying can be due to the feelings of joy, pain, guilt, anger, fear.

While some think that crying is a sign of weakness, it actually is a sign of strength.

It can be a quiet sob or a full blown loud, ‘ugly’ cry where snort is coming out of your nostrils. Either way is fine.

Crying can be likened to using windscreen wash to make your windscreen clearer while your eye lids are the wipers. A good cry can release the feeling of despair and help you gain clarity.

Listen to the end and learn more about the benefit of crying and whether children can see you cry.

In today’s episode, we would be talking about grief causing you to feel sick.

Have you heard of the phrase, ‘Feeling sick to my stomach?’ That is exactly how I felt when I realised what had happened. I had been present at the death of my first patient as a student.

It was a mix of abdominal pain, feeling nauseous with a vile tasting substance in my mouth. Yes, grief can cause that.

There has been a link between the disturbance of the gut and mental and emotional disorders an example of which is seen in irritable bowel syndrome.

Always remember to see your medical professional if you have any symptoms.

Here are a few things that you can do to help:

• Hydration
• Ensuring      a healthy diet (plant-based is helpful)
• Exercise      or some form of movement which can be a walk outdoors

In today’s episode, we would be talking about chest pain during grief.

Yes, it can happen while grieving.

There are times when people feel pain in the chest which could be sharp, dull, feel like pressure or a tightening. It could occur alone or with shortness of breath and/or palpitations.
If ever you feel this way, call the emergency medical service number in your area, it might be something serious.

Risk factors include: increased stress, loss, abusive situations or crippling fear.

There are times when people have reported broken heart syndrome.

Always seek help and comply with the advice given by your health professional.

Take care of yourself and know that you are not alone.

We also share regular information, resources and tips on how to enhance your wellbeing while grieving in our newsletter.

I said 'See you next week, have a nice weekend'. I did not know that would be last time I would speak to her. It was shocking news when I heard that my friend had died in a car accident. My first thought was 'did she suffer?' 

I had no control over this event and did not know how to react. I was numb.

How do you say goodbye when you did not get to attend the funeral and her family probably did not know you existed? Over a decade later, I still remember and cherish the memories.  

Through it all, we need to remember to take care for ourselves. 

• Cherish the beautiful memories. 
• Speak about them and 
• Show yourself some self-love.

In this episode, I share with you what it was like to struggle to get out of bed as a grieving mum with young children and a full time job.

Unfortunately, we are expected to get up and go about our usual activities soon after we experience a loss and that adds to the guilt that we experience.

We need to know that it is perfectly normal to struggle to get out of bed. That would definitely ease the guilt along with some of the strategies discussed here.  We need to take care for ourselves.

Do take note, take action and let others know.

We also share regular information, resources and tips on how to enhance your wellbeing while grieving in our newsletter.

It is the holiday period and people are thinking about lists of presents to get for others

It is a time when we remember those we have lost.

At this time, there is a tendency to forget taking care of you. 

If you  feel overwhelmed at the moment as we prepare for the holidays, take a moment to show yourself love

Ways to do this include:

1. Take time to rest between tasks.

• You can hydrate and move  around.

1. Set clear boundaries- physically, emotionally
   
2. Feed your mind with positivity
   
3. Stay connected to yourself by becoming more self aware
4. Connect with others.
   

Do stay well. Share with family and friends and 

Hope you find this useful.

Are you're struggling to sleep, having broken sleep or waking up too early and unrested?

Inability to sleep experienced by people who are grieving can be due to the loss of someone or something dear.

While grieving you think about what has gone on in the past or worry about what the future holds. This can cause anxiety or deep sadness.

While your brain is working very hard to get you a solution, you're not thinking clearly because  you're not engaging the thinking part of your brain while in that stressful moment.

Ways to improve this include:

1. Preparing the sleeping environment
   

This can include clearing the room where you sleep and if you might struggle with this, ask for some helps from a family member or a friend

Switching off devices- TV, phones, tablets

1. Writing in a worry journal
   
2. Monitoring your drinks- caffeine containing drinks such as coffee, tea, alcohol intake and water
   
3. Seek your medical professional’s help- you might benefit from some intervention.
   

Extra: other things people have found useful is the use of apps like Calm sleep stories.

Hope you find this useful.

In this episode, I would like to share with you how we get depleted as time goes by while we think about caring for others.

This is common among caregivers and especially during the holiday period.

While we love and care for others, we need to remember that we should constanding regenerate or joy, calm, energy and enthusiasm. We need to take some time to care for ourselves.

For those who are so busy and feel that they cannot take time to recharge, here are some quick tips you can incorporate into your busy schedule that can make you less depleted and overwhelmed.

Do take note, take action and let others know.

We also share regular information, resources and tips on how to enhance your wellbeing while grieving in our newsletter.

Welcome to Episode 6 of the Grief Getting you Down podcast

I would like to share with you the moment I received the news of my father's death.


When we hear the news of loss, we react differently.

There is no right or wrong way and the fact that you reacted in a certain way does not mean that your reaction would remain the same.

The variety reactions that come with grief can make us feel alone, upset or even overwhelmed

For that reason, we share regular information, resources and tips on how to enhance your wellbeing while grieving in our newsletter.

Welcome to Episode 5 of the Grief Getting you Down podcast

I would like to share with you an interview I had with a colleague on her podcast, "WhyMe with Vera- Lee". Vera Lee Curnow is an Australian-based podcaster who started the WhyMe with Vera-Lee podcast where people share their stories with a focus on changing adversity to advantage.

In this episode, we discussed the journey that I took following my loss and how I used my grief as an advantage.

So if you want to get some tips about:

• how to cope with grief,
• know how to care for yourselves when grieving, and
•  how to use grief as an advantage

this is a valuable episode to listen to!

In this episode, you'll discover:

•  The emotional and physical effects of grief
• How to care for yourself during the period of grief with some practical tips.
• The importance of gratitude and forgiveness