Big Book Awakening

In episode #125, Oliver continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading from Chapter 4, We Agnostics, page 48, "The prosaic steel girder is a mass of electrons whirling around each other at incredible speed. These tiny bodies are governed by precise laws, and these laws hold true throughout the material world. Science tells us so. We have no reason to doubt it. When, however, the perfectly logical assumption is suggested that underneath the material world and life as we see it, there is an All Powerful, Guiding, Creative Intelligence, right there our perverse streak comes to the surface and we laboriously set out to convince ourselves it isn’t so."

In episode #124, Joshua continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading from Chapter 4, We Agnostics. "IN THE PRECEDING chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer."

In episode #123, Patty continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism, page 42, top paragraph. "They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink."

In episode #122, Jesse continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism, pages 41, paragraphs 1 and 2. “I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. Then I ordered another cocktail. After dinner I decided to take a walk. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one."

In episode #121, Mary continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism, pages 33-35. "Young people may be encouraged by this man’s experience to think that they can stop, as he did, on their own will power."

In episode #120, Luis continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism. “We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse.."

In episode #119, Pastor Jose continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism.

"MOST OF US have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."

In episode #118, Sal continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Chapter 2, There is a Solution, from pages 25 - 29.

"There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet."

In episode #117, Pat B. continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Chapter 2, There is a Solution, from pages 20 to 25. “You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking—“What do I have to do?”

In episode #116, Luis shares how, before hitting bottom, he was looking for a solution in self-help books. "I had no system for defeating alcoholism. I wanted to do things differently but lacked the power to make it through the night." Big Book Awakening is like a map for how to journey through the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In episode #115, Arline continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Chapter 2, There is a Solution, from pages 18 to 20. "Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. Strangely enough, wives, parents and intimate friends usually find us even more unapproachable than do the psychiatrist and the doctor. But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished." –Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition (p. 18)

In episode #114, Oliver continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Chapter 2 - There is a Solution, pages 17 and 18. "WE, OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem."

In episode #113, Mary L. continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Bill's Story from the bottom of page 14 to 16. "For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that." –Alcoholics Anonymous

In Episode #112, Luis L. shares his story after reaching a new milestone of 9 years of continuous sobriety. "Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps." –Alcoholics Anonymous

In episode #111, Michael continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading Bill's Story from pages 13 to 14. "At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens."

In episode #109, Sal shares how drinking got so bad that he was blacking out from chasing the bottom of the bottle. Then something happened, and Sal ended up in Alcoholics Anonymous. "The twelve steps is the way of freedom. A lot of it is soul searching."

In episode #108, Arline continues the Big Book Awakening series by reading the Doctor's Opinion. "After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery." –Alcoholics Anonymous

In episode #107, Sal continues with week #2 by reading from Forward to Second Edition through the Foreward to Fourth Edition. Throughout his reading, Sal shares his experience, strength, and hope with the A.A. recovery program in the Big Book.

In episode #106, Luis shares how, through prayer, he was inspired to kick off a new series for the Monday Night Big Book Awakening meeting. But then doubt came over him: Why change?

And then he was reminded that our meeting reaches people beyond the walls. So, this is an opportunity to gain a new experience through the Big Book.

In episode 105, Mary L. shares how, when she arrived at Alcoholics Anonymous, she was spiritually broken and bankrupt. She spent her first year going from meeting to meeting. In recovery, she learned how to walk again—learning how to talk again–learning how to live without alcohol in her system. Today, Mary realizes that she gained her freedom by going through the twelve-step program of recovery.

In this episode, Vladimir shares his experience, strength, and hope on the night we honor all celebrating a milestone in their sobriety in September.

"Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now."

In episode #103, Bernie starts by sharing, "God has changed my life. Because I can't believe I have changed my ways." When Bernie was sixteen, he lost his chance to play professional soccer. On the day he was to meet with the scouts from the San Diego Sockers team, he was in court facing attempted murder.

In episode #102, Adam shares how he thinks he was an addict and alcoholic from the beginning. "All I cared about was drinking and using." Suffering from chronic relapsing, he would hit another bottom every five years and return to the program for help. This vicious cycle continued for twenty-five years until he experienced a breakthrough.

In episode #101, Oliver reads from the Big Book: "We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol."

In episode #100, Vinny starts by reading from Bill's Story, where he is having a third-step experience, which is part of our reading of step one. "There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my newfound Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since." –Alcoholics Anonymous (page 13.)

In episode #99, Arline shares how there has been a revolutionary change in her way of living and thinking. "Just that I can go to God instead of reacting in anger is a revolutionary change." The Big Book states: "Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking." – Alcoholics Anonymous (page 50)

In episode #98, Luis L. shares how he was not the scheduled speaker. But over time he's learned that we must be ready to share our experience, strength, and hope. "We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined." –Alcoholics Anonymous

In episode #96, Jose G. starts by reviewing the three pertinent ideas discussed in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymus. And then boldly declares: "You are God's idea. The way you look, the way you think, the way you act. All God's design is on purpose for a purpose." His main point is that our past does not disqualify us from the future God has planned for us. "There is a calling on your life. The calling is to help God change this world one person at a time; one day at a time."

In episode #95, Pat B. shares how his story begins with the twelfth step when he was fifteen. "More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life." Pat believed as long as he stayed away from "Meth," he would be ok. He didn't get sober until he was thirty-five years old.

In episode #94, Octavio shares how when he came to Alcoholics Anonymous, he had a lot of baggage and trust issues. His temporary sponsor helped get him through the hump until he could find his sponsor. "When I start working harder than others, and they are not responding, I learned to let go. And that's one of the things I had the hardest trouble with because letting go for me was almost like giving up."

In episode #93, Luis L. shares how his prayer and meditation practice reflects his child-like faith in our Creator. "The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves."

In episode #92, Bernie shares that he was always in church as a kid. By age fourteen, he stopped believing. "I lost my faith." His father was an alcoholic. "I didn't want to be like him. But I ended up like him."

In episode #91, Pat B. shares how: "This is the only thing, ever, in my life that I have stuck with. No matter how badly I failed at it. No matter how badly things are not going right. I still come back to it. I come back to following the instructions." In this episode, Pat reads from the Big Book, pages 84-85, and shares experience, strength, and hope with practicing this way of life, including Step Ten.

In episode #90, Keith starts by reading from page 76 in the Big Book: "Now we need more action, without which we find that “Faith without works is dead.” Let’s look at Steps Eight and Nine. We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol." –Alcoholics Anonymous (p. 76)

In episode #89, Luis shares his experience of going through steps one through seven, emphasizing steps six and seven. "The way we practice this is to make an appointment to be one-on-one with God... for at least an hour."

In episode #88: Vinny shares his experience with the fifth step from the perspective of being a sponsor or being in a workshop as a guide for people. His experience with the fifth step has been "wide, bumpy, not a straight line, and it's also been exciting."

In episode #87 - David M. shares how there is no doubt in his mind that his problems began when he was a child. "I grew up with a powerful, abusive father." After David admitted to God, to himself, and to his sponsor the exact nature of our wrongs, he broke free from the heavy load he was carrying his entire life.

In episode #86, Arline discovered how selfish she was in her last relationship after writing her sex inventory during the Big Book Awakening workshop. After a year in recovery, her "Sex Ideal" just came, and she was able to write it down.

In episode #85, Oliver shares how Alcoholics Anonymous was the end of the line for him. He was desperate. He needed a solution. "I was afraid of everything. I was so anxious. Fear is what drove my life. The frustrating thing was that "I did not know what I was afraid of until" Oliver went through the twelve-step program, the Big Book Awakening Way.

In episode #84, Christine shares for the first time the truth about her addiction to other things besides alcohol. "I was that girl always on the outside looking in. I never, ever, ever fit it. I never belonged."

In episode #83, Mary L. shares her breakdown of how she goes through a Step Four Resentment Inventory Worksheet. She starts the process by writing on paper: "I'm resentful at? Why am I angry?" Mary writes it all down and keeps writing until she's done. When you are doing your inventory, it is a constructive exercise. You want to be good to yourself.

In episode #82, Michael K. shares how the resentments (grudge list)we hold on to destroy us more than anything else. From these resentments stem all forms of spiritual disease. Many of our mental health issues and physical ailments can get sorted out with help from a doctor and twelve steps work.

In episode #80, Bill R. shares how his father started drinking hard when he was nine. During his alcoholic rage, his father took it out on him. That's when fear reared its ugly head in his life, and Bill lived in fear for a long time. Drugs and alcohol distracted him from the fear. "If I was enjoying my drinking, I was not controlling it. And I was out of control for many years."

In episode #79, Pat A. shares how he had a problem with God in the past. "It's not that way today. And that's a message of joy and hope." So what's playing God? If I am going to tell you how it is, I am playing God because I am not satisfied with what is here. If I am afraid of God? I am living my life based on a thought.

In episode #78, Keith shares how he stepped in the door for twelve years and right into step four, skipping one, two, and three. Keith shares how one of his sponsees did not believe in anything. One day the sponsee said: "I just wish my grandmother was here." So Keith suggested why don't you make your Grandma your higher power? The sponsee has ten years sober today just because he did not want to let his grandma down.

In Episode #77, Jason confesses, "I have never been able to be honest with people. I've always been concerned about what you thought about me." He continues: "Through reliance on God and the steps in this program, I've come to this place where I can honestly say I am grasping and developing a manner of living. And it's painful at a time."

In episode #76, Andrew shares how he always struggled with self-esteem and confidence. King Alcohol was his buddy. Today, God has a more central place in his life.