Can't We All Just Get Along?

In this episode I talk to "Jane" who poses the challenge of working from home in a small space while navigating the responsibilities of two young children and a partner who is also confined to working from home?  How do you negotiate space? Time?  Parenting? These are the questions and challenges facing many people during the pandemic.

The take aways from this episode include:

!. Negotiate your best hours of work as much as possible and keep it uninterrupted.  Our brain can't focus for long periods of time. The more undistracted you can be, the better your work productivity will be.  Negotiate time where all you are doing is working.

2. Negotiate sacred time where all you are doing is parenting.

3.  Distraction strategies are letting you know your brain needs a break from work.  Be clear about the strategies you need to take care of your nervous system.

4.  Include time where you are regenerating.  

5. Make sure everyone in the household (especially children) get included in helping out with family chores and activities.  

In this episode we will be talking to Jessica Bannister who is apprenticing in the trade of HVAC.  She works with her brother and father who both have over 15 years of working together side by side.  They have worked so long together, they intuitively know what to do and most of the "work" is seamless and unseen.  Yes Jessica, needs to ask both her dad and brother to make the work seen and explained. How can Jessica glean the skill and knowledge of her family and ask them to slow down their expertise so that she can work alongside and gain their valuable knowledge?  Tune in to hear more.

Strategies:

1. Set up a time to meet when everyone is resourced

2. Articulate the problem: this means doing your homework and making clear the one request you need to make. 

3. Make the request. (I need you to tell me what you are doing and why you are doing it, so that I can learn your expertise and in the long run, get as skilled as the two of you.)

4. Reinforce the behaviour when they are practicing it. (Dad, thank you for taking the time to explain this to me.  It goes a long way in helping me understand how to do it and eventually figure out how to do it on my own.)

You encounter the customer or colleague who has lost their cool.  You don't want to sit and be the object of all that anger but you don't want to run away and hide either. What do you do?

This podcast we interview Josh Bath. Josh is a realtor in the Tri-Cities area just outside of Vancouver BC. He is a husband, an entrepreneur, a toastmaster extraordinaire but his favourite title is dad.

Take Aways:

1. When someone is over the top angry – face them and regulate you. Breathe, move, say what is happening out loud.

2. Match their energy and paraphrase. You are very upset, you have some strong feelings and I need to stop and let you know what I just heard you say and you can let me know if I am understanding you correctly.

3. Change their State by changing your state: Once you are feeling calmer and you are using your strategies to manage your energy, slow yourself down, speak slower and calmly so as to help change the state of the individual who is angry or overwhelmed.

4. Table the conversation: I am going to leave now because I can’t listen to you scream right now. Let’s talk about this when you are calmer.  

As always, if you want more information, you can head over to my website: www.creativeedgeconsulting.com.

Michelle Tremblay who is the sole proprietor and founder of Mpower Lives. She works with schools, companies and corporations where she focuses on anti bullying, wellness and self regulation. She is a sought after key note speaker and a second degree black belt in karate.

Key Concept:

Hearing information about your child is painful. Can bring up shame, a sense It is your fault. When you talk about someone’s child it is personal. You are your child.

Go slow to go fast

Give one point with no more than three strategies.

The goal is to build relationship, and buy in to the strategies.

Take Aways:

1. This works for adults as much as it works for children. Provide information that lets the parents (or adult) know that you are on their side.

2. “Your son, Jake, has a lot of energy and he genuinely loves to play and move. I am glad he is in my class” (make sure you mean it!)

3. State the observations: “I will have the students do an activity that requires them to make a circle. Jake will grab a child and attempt to play tag”

4. Engage in solution together. “We can help Jake together if we give him some strategies to manage that energy. Here are 3 things we are doing in the class.

For more information go to www.creativeedgeconsulting.com

What can you do to help your children become independent problem solvers?  How do  you help everyone around you take care of their own feelings.  In this episode I will be talking to Dr. Elisa Michals, professor at William Jessup University and California State University.  She also happens to be my twin sister.  Sit back and enjoy!

Key Concept:

Every conflict is an opportunity for children to learn how to regulate their feelings and become master problem solvers.

You don’t have to solve the problem for your children. In fact, the goal is to help them learn how to do it independently.

Moral learning happens through 1. Modelling, 2. Practice and 3 reinforcement

Keep repeating the process

Take Aways:

1. Talk to each child separately to get their side of the story.

2. What is the problem?

3. How do you feel about it?

4. What can you do to solve the problem?

5. Have them do the same thing to each other.

For further information go to: www.creativeedgeconsulting.com

In my very first podcast episode I am going to share with you a little bit about me.  Find out how I got started in my conflict alchemy journey and what makes me tick!

For further information you can go to: www.creativeedgeconsulting.com

This is an open invitation to send me a conflict or disagreement that you would like to receive some feedback and support.  If the conflict is chosen, I will devote one podcast to the conflict that will provide insight as well as potential action plans on how to work through the conflict.  All information will remain private and you will not be interviewed, nor will your personal information be revealed.  www.conflictalchemist@gmail.com