This podcast brings you conversations and coaching about getting the balance in business whether you're a business leader or entrepreneur. We'll be talking about mindset, strategy, boundaries, balance and a whole lot more so you can create a brilliant business life and still enjoy time off. You can find me atwww.emmalangton.com/
Today I’m talking about self care. Now before you roll your eyes (I do too) there’s such a bit misconception about self care and what it is.
Self care is a necessary function that we all need in our lives. In this fast paced world we seem to forget to put ourselves first.
“You cannot pour from an empty cup”
You need to fill up yourself first. Self care is about actions and things you do in your life that help to protect, maintain, develop or improve your health, wellbeing, your emotional and physical states. In other words, we need to look after ourselves.
Often we think we’re looking after ourselves, but we’re not making time to nourish ourselves, to nurture, to rest, to replenish, to enjoy. It’s about being fit, healthy, kind .. you could go back through all the podcasts I’ve done!
It’s so easy to just carry on doing all the things that need doing in our lives, or telling ourselves that we don’t deserve it, that it’s pointless or selfish. Self care is absolutely essential.
Remember a car needs regular maintenance, so do we. Remember too the essential things we need to know when we’re on an aeroplane and putting the oxygen mask on ourselves. We’re no good to anyone else if we cannot breathe!
Often self care is about doing small things so that you can be the best that you can be.
4.38 Listen to Emma talk about how she had total recognition about when she needed to ensure her own self care was essential, to be available to support her children.
“Self care is more than just a scented candle!”
"I wouldn’t be here today, supporting the family, running the business, helping others, working 1:1 and in companies without self-care."
How much and how frequently you put in self care depends on your circumstances. What works for me will not work for you. It needs time to assess and find the individual thing that works for you.
8.35. Why Do We Need Self Care Now?
In the olden days, life was much simpler then. People did one thing at a time. Reading the newspaper, darning socks, watching the flames in a coal fire or had conversations with each other!
In this fast paced world we can watch tv and have phone in hand and talk to kids or partner and have work stuff in your head. That’s why we need the self care.
11.25 How to Find Self Care That Works For You?
It’s about finding things that help you feel balance, in control, that life energies or relax you down. Find times that you just stop or rest for a bit.
- Read a book
- Listen to music
- Watching tv (but stop multi-tasking)
- Sit with kids, connect, have a snack and a cuppa (whilst it’s hot)
You don’t always need to spend a lot of money or take time away
- Have a bath, but lock the door
- Take a walk
- Get into nature and notice the surroundings
- Learn a breathing technique
- Drink water (not the tonic in your gin)
- Healthy food
- Have a snooze / meditate / self hypnosis
- Cuddle someone, increase your love hormone called oxytocin
- Ask for help or share with friend or partner
Be Kind to yourself
- Forgive yourself for mistakes or judgements
- Be accepting or circumstances instead of fighting or raging
- Get boundaries in order with clear priorities
- Pick your battles, we can’t make others do things
- Decide where to put your energy for the best impact for success (it might be you)
Sometimes you need to put energy into you first and then decide where you need to be to support others.
Give Yourself Permission
- Spend a bit of money on yourself (doesn’t have to be lots)
- Buy some flowers
- Get the Ahh factor from little treats
- Schedule time out
Raise your feel good chemicals
- Laughter, especially a good belly laugh
- Smile at people
- Talk to someone in the street
- Exercise, although it might need scheduling.
Finding the things that help you. And recognise that these interests can change over time.
Let me know what works for you. Contact me at www.emmalangton.com
Get the Self Doubt Guide bit.ly/SelfDoubtPodGuide
We all have times when anxiety is in our life. I want you to begin to consider that everyone feels anxious from time to time. I know that often people feel like it’s just them.
The key to helping you overcome anxiety is recognising it’s there. Anxiety is worrying or a feeling of unease, fear or worry. All of us can have some form or level of anxiety in our lives, although usually in a mild way or for a short period of time or because of a particular event or circumstance in our lives.
There might be anxiety about everyday things. Listen when I explain what might cause anxiety and some anxieties that come up in my house.
Anxious symptoms can differ from person to person. Listen in where I list what some of these might be.
Sometimes we can trace things back to a specific time, place or situation when they began to feel frightened, worried or anxious. Those feelings can be repeated and re-played on a regular basis.
There may be life circumstances, like a busy job, work pressure or hectic home life that leave someone feeling anxious. What you might not realise is that your diet may impact the way you feel.
If you really want to overcome anxiety it’s often worth taking a bit of time to consider where it’s coming from or what might be causing it.
Although I do recognise that sometimes we have no idea.
What helps us overcome anxiety?
Breathing - Taking a deep breath down into your stomach releases feel-good chemicals, which in turn help to calm down the brain and body functions. It’s been scientifically proven to help calm us.
Stop the Catastrophe 16.10m
Our brain is wired to assess a situation and make quick decisions. This means we can often run away into doom and gloom and everything is a catastrophe. When that happens we need to bring this back.
Be Logical 17.35m
Once you’ve done the breathing and calmed down, you can be more logical and analyse the situation and look for another outcome than can happen.
Is there any other way I can look at this?
Is there any other reason I can have for this thinking?
How true is my thinking?
What other way can I begin to think about this scenario?
Instead of focussing on the catastrophe you begin to see possibility.
Control the emotions 19.45m
So we want to make sure that we are not getting into a situation where our emotions control our reasoning. Those emotions are a pain in backside when they kick off and stop us doing things we want to do.
Speak to someone 19.45m
So it’s also important to speak to other people. Often those thoughts go round and round in our heads and if we can just manage to speak to someone about what’s going on in our head, or tell someone how we are feeling then the anxiety calms right down.
It’s important to increase our feel good chemicals to balance out the good stuff with the anxious chemicals.
Exercise is also great for boosting those feel-good chemicals, rather than having those anxious thoughts and feelings. This doesn’t have to be at the gym. It might just be a walk in your lunch-break or a run round the park with your kids.
Music is a great way to increase the feel-good feelings. I know people who have created particular play-lists which are calming or upbeat.
Writing things enables you to connect with the thoughts and feelings.
It might also help you recognise patterns of anxiety or just offload thoughts each day.
Diet is so important. If you've been anxious all day then go for take-away or quick food it might be loaded with sugar and that's not good for anxiety. Try to plan ahead for any anxious or difficult days.
The more you work on anxiety the easier it is to stop it taking hold. It’s really OK that different things work for different people. Find out what helps you to stop your anxiety.
Find me at www.emmalangton.com or email from the contact page to get in touch. Get your free overwhelm emmalangton.activehosted.com/f/5
Resilience is all about our ability to bounce back from challenges, difficulties and set backs in life. This week I talk about how you can ramp up your resilience to be able to deal with all that life throws at us.
- Assess the situation
- Check out the emotions, thoughts and feelings and what to do with them.
- Look for different scenarios
- Make plans to be able to deal with challenge
- Take time out to rest or recover from the impact or clear space if needed
- Ask for support or just find a way to offload
- Look after your physical and mental health
With these ways we can continue to improve our resilience to deal with whatever life throws at us.
Contact me at http://www.emmalangton.com/contact/ if you have comments or questions about this or to book a discovery call to work with me.
Get your free guide 7 Steps from Overwhelm to In Control https://www.emmalangton.com/overwhelm/
If you struggle with confidence or don’t always feels confident then this episode will be helpful for you.
Your self-confidence (or lack of it) isn’t written in stone. You can learn, increase, practice self-confidence such like any other skill. Once you increase your self-confidence your life will seem so much better and easier.
We look at What Confidence Is and the steps we need to take to increase our self confidence. Emma talks through steps of
- Get Started
- Self Talk
There's a great story about how Emma supported her daughter with her confidence building and recognition that not everything can be scripted in life. We need to get comfortable having a go.
You can work with Emma on your confidence at: at www.emmalangton.com/workwithme
or get your free self doubt to self belief guide at http://bit.ly/SelfDoubtPodGuide
The key to maintaining great self-confidence is to have all these ways that we can use to bounce back.
What do we do when a Fear of Rejection stops us from moving forward and achieving? When we have a fear of rejection it can prevent us applying for jobs, asking for a pay-rise, sharing information about our work, promoting ourselves, giving an opinion …. the list is endless.
Book a call with Emma to discuss how this can help you at at bit.ly/30minsappt
Listen as Emma explains why we fear rejection and covers ways of overcoming it with
- Check out the root cause
- Learn tools to keep emotions under control
- It’s not personal
- Keep perspective.
- Improve your Resilience
She shares how she overcame the fear she had too.
Nowadays it’s very different way of surviving. So those no’s and rejections don’t have the power that our primitive brain think they have! Don’t let yourself get caught up in that fear of rejection. You can take action so that you no longer have to cope with the frustration of not getting where you want to be or not taking steps to get the outcomes you want.
This week I’m joined by Vicki Nicolson, Branding Designer to talk about getting the balance in business. You can find more about Vicki's work at www.vickinicolson.com
In middle of August Vicki had sent an email saying she was finally finding the balance in her business and the school holidays. Emma invited her onto the podcast to talk about how Vicki got that balance today in her Branding Business.
Vicki talks about starting the business 3 years ago and despite thinking it’s going to be great running a business we have to do all things in the business, with accounts, marketing, key word google searches and a whole lot more. She found herself overwhelmed even though she was doing something she loved.
We chat through the realisations, the self development, the support, outsourcing and what is the deal-breaker for Vicki.
Vicki shares why she does this and how it's important to remember this.
Finally, we talk about what managing time and boundaries look like for Vicki too
How do we maintain positive thinking in our lives? Does it sounds easier said than done?
This isn’t just about telling ourselves things are “fine” or repeating phrases and affirmations like “today is a great day”.
When we start to think positively we are re-wiring our brain. We create new neural pathways so that eventually, thinking positive becomes automatic.
Listen as Emma dives into some tips on how to think positively and explains that negative thinking is a survival instinct.
- Notice positives every day. Take 5 minutes each morning, evening, on your journey home to think about your day.
- Keep a Perspective. It’s so easy to have the last hour of the day to difficult and then be telling yourself it was a rubbish day!
- Turn negatives around by changing the way you speak about difficulties.
- Surround yourself with positive people who support you.
Book a call to discuss working with Emma at http://bit.ly/30minsappt
or go to www.emmalangton.com
We’ve all had times when we’ve put something off. We can create reasons or justification for not doing these things. Really they’re excuses and procrastination.
This week Emma talks through ways you can push past your procrastination. Listen in as she talks through different options that can help you.
- work out the fear or emotion behind the procrastination
- dealing with overwhelm of getting started
- how to reframe waiting for perfect
- look at big picture thinking and remember why
- break things down into achievable chunks
- set better deadlines
- switch off from distractions
finally get support or accountability to get you through all this. And Emma is still taking calls to discuss working with her this Autumn. You can book here bit.ly/30minsappt
or see her website at www.emmalangton.com
Emma shares details of a client's journey after burnout in his job. Listen to the difference in how he felt before and after coaching.
You can book a call to discuss working with Emma at http://bit.ly/30minsappt
Key factors for her client were:
- always expected a negative reaction,
- worried what people thought,
- really pessimistic,
- awake at night,
- struggling to deal with people.
He took a 5 month break from work and then got a new job. He knew he needed help and support to make the changes required so the same situation didn't happen again.
Emma talks through her coaching process and how it is planned out.
The outcomes for her client were:
- knowing what lights him up and restores his energy
- having selections of tools & techniques
- be able to communicate better
- changing habits
- no longer taking the easy options
- positive feelings and interactions with others
He said " I’m comfortable in my own skin. I now see my own value and I feel like I achieve every day"
Even thought we all breathe, Emma explains why we need a breathing technique and talks you through learning her popular one.
Effective deep breathing can reduce stress, anxiety and create space in our head by releasing calming chemicals.
There's a key important factor that you need to include which has been proven to switch off your fight flight response.
Practicing this frequently will mean it becomes automatic (just like your times tables) and it goes into the subconscious part of our brain. You can use it in a subtle, easy way and Emma gives suggestion when you can practice, easily, in your day.
If you don't like the example Emma gives, then check out others on the internet or on Emma's blog.
Get your free Self Doubt Guide http://bit.ly/SelfDoubtPodGuide
Find out how to work with me http://www.emmalangton.com/work-with-me/
Visualisation is powerful tool that is now widely used.
We can create a vision of how we want to be and stop worries, self doubt or anxiety. Our brains are naturally wired to notice the negatives, so we need tools to help wire our brain for the positive and reach those goals.
Listen as Emma tells the story of a client who used this to great effect.
Our brain can't distinguish between real and imaginary so we can practice visualising exactly how we wish to be and this can embed into our subconscious brain.
Emma talks you thought the steps you can take and even if you don't think you see pictures, there's still things you can do.
- get really clear on goals
- create positive wording
- decide how you feel
- recognise body language
Include all these in the visualisation in the way Emma describes.
It increases self belief and that's really powerful. Get your free Self Belief guide http://bit.ly/SelfDoubtPodGuide
Want your personalised plan? http://www.emmalangton.com/work-with-me/
Emma brings her first guest onto the podcast this week and chats to Tina Leigh McDonald about how her belief in herself changed recently.
Tina talks about her work with businesses and young people and Emma avoid getting on the soap box about the impact of today's schooling on self belief!
Tina also explain how she recently transformed her self belief after being nominated for the Rising Stars award and winning. The attendance at the awards ceremony really cemented that change in belief in herself.
You can find Tina at http://avalanchecoaching.co.uk/
There are people you spend time with who leave you feeling drained and others who leave you warm and comforted. Emma refers to these as drains and radiators.
Listen as she talks about the different types of people who leave you drained. They might be negative, victims, moaning or "opera singers".
Emma shares how she got wise to working with some of these and what you can do about once you have the awareness which includes
- pick your battles
- stick to your boundaries
- stay away if necessary!
Then think about who can be radiator in your life. These people support, encourage, lift you up and restore your energies and why that is necessary. Emma also talks about how you can learn what drains your energy levels and what restores it.
The support of like-minded people is necessary to your success.
Contact Emma at http://www.emmalangton.com/work-with-me/
Whether you have children or not, you're going to want time off and need to find the balance from work, business, home.
This week Emma talks through a variety of mindset changes and strategy tips to help you enjoy time off.
Remember you are doing your best so be kind to yourself.
Look at where you're putting pressure on yourself and switch up the priorities. Sort the pressure and tasks into 3 lists with Absolutely, Be nice to do, Could do.
Then plan out the day or the week so that you and the kids know what to expect. We all benefit from routine.
Emma talks through how to change your mindset up about certain places or activities.
Notice where you can get a win for you and the kids.
Create opportunities for a cuppa and connection with your kids as this has huge benefits for all of you.
Learn about managing the day, the week with clear boundaries and expectations too.
For more info or to work with Emma http://www.emmalangton.com/work-with-me/
This week Emma tackles the subject of Overwhelm. It's a fast paced world with tons of stimulation so how do we handle it when you feel you just can't cope or you're head is so full you can't think straight.
She covers how to recognise when you're overwhelmed by noticing
- what's going on in your body
- what happens in your mind
- how it makes you feel.
That way you can identify your personal overwhelm signs and then how to deal with it.
She talks you through a few steps, the first is a trick that even though it seems rubbish is really effective - breathing!
Then Emma explains about taking a step back even when you don't feel you can.
Then break down the overwhelm and get it out of your head.
Make a plan about what to do with all those things
Ask for help where needed
Give yourself a break.
Get your free overwhelm https://emmalangton.activehosted.com/f/5
Don't forget to get your self doubt to self belief free guide http://bit.ly/SelfDoubtPodGuide
When doubts run through our minds it can drag us down and have us feeling negative, fed-up and definitely not at our best. Self doubt can hold us back in just one area, or many areas of our lives. It can be quite draining.
Here Emma runs through 5 steps that you can do to shift those self doubts and build into more solid and positive beliefs. If you'd like a free guide to help you with these steps from Self Doubt to Self Belief then get it here http://bit.ly/SelfDoubtPodGuide
When you get thoughts about "what if this doesn't work" or other "what ifs" that are ultimately "what if I'm not good enough".
The 5 steps covered are:
1. Identify the doubts and own them
2. Challenge the doubts with key ways to do that
3. Change the way you think about doubts
4. Identify goals and steps to move forward
5. Recognise the progress and build new beliefs
If you'd like some personalised help or support to shift your self doubt then get in touch with Emma at http://www.emmalangton.com
Emma talks about her favourite subject of Boundaries. How you can create effective business boundaries in your work and life. It's not just a set a rules.
Emma regularly hears from clients who
• feeling like they’re working all the time,
• needing to respond to people or emails quickly, or at ridiculous hours of day and night
• checking phone and emails All. The. Time.
• saying yes to things they don’t want to do
• feel like people are taking advantage
Listen to find out what you need to do to get yours in place which includes
Working on your mindset
Getting clear on your priorities
Confidently communicate your boundaries so you set expectation and create much less guilt, pressure and overwhelm.
Did you know that the way we talk to ourselves can have a massive impact on the way we think, feel and view ourselves?
So many times Emma hears people with negative self talk.
“I’m no good at …”
“I can’t do ….”
“I’m so silly”
“I don’t deserve ……”
In this episode Emma explains what happens when we are negative about ourselves and how we can change that by
Listening to ourselves
Be your own best friend
Be kind (to yourself and others)
Get yourself thinking and talking more positively with these tips.
When things get too much in life, physically, mentally or emotionally it’s good to have somewhere to go to calm, recover, feel safe or to feel happy again. That’s why you need a Happy Place.
Emma talks you through why you need a happy place and how to create your very own. It doesn't matter whether it's real or imaginary, when you've created yours you can take yourself there, in your mind, to rest, recover or just re-set our feelings and emotions.