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Insane Erik Lane's Stupid World

Insane Erik Lane's Stupid World

By Erik Lane
If you’ve ever thought you’ve done something really stupid, just listening to this podcast will improve your attitude! Message me your comments/questions or stupid story, or email at ShoutOut@InsaneErikLane.com. Real-time updates & story links on the TELEGRAM Channel at https://t.me/InsaneErikLane! (Theme song courtesy of Randy Stonehill; "It's A Great Big Stupid World". Copyright © 1992 Stonehillian Music/Word Music/Twitchin' Vibes Music/ASCAP) https://www.amazon.com/Great-Big-Stupid-World/dp/B005EPKL14 Logo by the "Free Online Logo Maker": DesignEvo https://www.designevo.com/logo-maker
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Nude Pickleball, Naked-Driving Lawyer, & Alexa Speaks From the Dead
The pickleball craze has driven seniors to take off all their clothes to play the game. An attorney can't seem to keep his clothes on, especially while driving. And now you can have great-grandma give you recommendations on your favorite restaurant from beyond the grave! These & more stupid antics await... 6 Reasons to Drink Pickle Juice;  TikTok Is Obsessed with a New Game Called "He's a 10";  Research Discovers Tiny mites mate on your FACE while you sleep;  A Man in an "I'm Too Good for Drugs" T-Shirt Got Busted for Meth/Top Quotes Criminals Should Never Have On Their T-Shirts;  ‘Dionysus’ Leads FL Team to Record-Breaking Python;  A Man Got Hammered & Lost a USB Drive with Data on an Entire City's Residents;  Boy Asked Frank Lloyd Wright to Design Him a Dog House–& He Did!  The past week's stupid current events are delivered more stupidly than they occurred with the "Insane Week in Review" and the stupendous antics of some "real winners" get the Genius Awards for this week!
54:47
June 29, 2022
Dino Belly Buttons, A Tasteless Tombstone, & "Super Gonorrhea"
Many churches have divided over depictions of Adam & Eve having belly buttons...but did DINOSAURS? Apparently. When you leave this earth, you typically leave behind an epitaph on your tombstone--unless you're tasteless. Then you leave an epitaph that one family chose to leave on the tombstone of their loved one. If you think getting an STD is bad, you'll be celibate as a monk when you hear what my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", has to tell you about one strain that's nearly impossible to treat. And the stupidity continues.... I’m a teen & became a multi-millionaire with my lemonade business;  Hypnosis Cured a Man of His $700-a-Month Pepsi Addiction;  NH distillery turns invasive crabs into whiskey;  Woman orders chair on Amazon—receives bonus vial of blood;  British Cocaine Boss Busted by Cops Thanks to Conor McGregor Mural in His House;  Bus driver says he didn’t know his gummy snacks included THC;  NZ Stargazers Left ‘Freaking Out’ by Weird Blue Light Spirals in Night Sky;  A Racoon Chased a Woman & Her Dog Into Her Home;  A Map Shows Where Locals Can Find & Pick Wild Food for Free;  Most Working Parents Are Experiencing "Burnout";  A Guy Led Cops on a High-Speed Chase Through a Golf Course;  First Date "Icks" Bad Enough to Cancel a 2nd Date;  A "Karen" Ruins Neighbor's Outdoor Wedding w/Loud Weed Eater;  KFC Invented a New Utensil: The "Finger Spork";  47 cats found living in a car with their owner in MN;  Internet Explorer Is Officially Dead at Age 26.  There's 2 more folks seeking the wisdom of my Insane FL Nephew when they "ASK PANCHO" about burning issues like "What Do You Do With Pets After A Break Up" & "How Do You Convince Someone To Go To Therapy Who Needs It But Doesn't Want It" Don't forget about the weekly "Insane Game Show" where you can play along with "Pancho" & guess the best answers!
01:34:45
June 25, 2022
A Felonious Corpse Spitter, A "Le'Genius" Criminal, & A "Peeping Tom"-Cat Litterbox
S3E88 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  Instead of having people give eulogies at a loved one's funeral, a woman chose to "hock a loogie" onto the corpse. The parents of one FL criminal obviously gave their son the WRONG name for his life choices. A graduation party for a 17-y/o student ended with a voyeur incident that was being videoed from a cat box in the bathroom. If these are stupid enough for you, there's a whole lot more in this episode!  The Average Parent Tells Their Kid "No" 23 Times a Day;  Suspected Thief In AL Swims To Police After Kayak Capsized;  45% of People Say It's Harder to Be a Dad Today Than Ever Before;  Authorities seek owner of 300-pound mystery pig wandering in TN;  Chinese State Media Deletes Post Saying They May Have Found Aliens;  FL Man Intentionally Gets Pulled Over To Secretly Tell Cops He Was Being Kidnapped;  FL man dressed as cow among several arrested in drug house bust.  You'll get up to speed with stupidity from the week's current events in the "Insane Week in Review" as well as hear about 7 more "winners" in the weekly "Genius Awards"!
49:40
June 22, 2022
NZ Livestock Burp Tax, Putin's "Poop Case", & Grandma Got Run Over By An Elephant!
If you think you're being taxed too much, you haven't farmed in New Zealand where cow burps will cost you. Imagine being so paranoid that you have to carry your poop around so no one will find out you have a disease. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" will reveal that the Russian President lives like this all the time & has aids who have to clean up after him. Nothing like leaving this world with a big "send off". An elephant with a grudge sent the corpse of a 70-y/o woman into the "wild blue yonder" at her funeral...after it trampled her to death earlier. Plus more tales of the stupid side...  Burger King’s LGBTQ+ Whopper Ad Causes a Stir;  A Guy Bought Insurance 26 Minutes After Crashing His Car;  A Guy Got Attacked by an Alligator After Mistaking It for a Dog;  Mystery Machine from ‘Scooby-Doo’ listed on Airbnb;  Guy Gets Drunk, Stole His Boss's Car, & Parked It on a Set of Train Tracks;  Workers at an M&M Factory Had to Be Rescued from a Vat of Chocolate;  Fish leather is here, it’s sustainable–& made from invasive species to boot;  Man threatens to blow up downtown White Castle;  Disorder in the court: Cockroaches released during hearing;  Boston transit agency to try urine sensors on elevators;  Coors Pulled a Bunch of Beer After People Were Getting Cans of "Slime";  People Think They’ve Spotted a Chupacabra Near a Zoo;  A Delivery Driver Shot a Chick-fil-A Worker, Over a Missing Milkshake;  Happy the elephant at Bronx Zoo is not a person, NY’s top court rules;  Geico Must Pay a Woman $5.2 Million, After She Got an STD While Hooking Up in a Guy's Car;  Would You Release 100 Cockroaches in Your Home...for $2,000? My Insane FL Nephew will also again respond to questions to life's complex problems when 2 more people "ASK PANCHO" about encouraging their kids to go to a community college & what to do about your housemate who is obsessed with putting up security cameras THAT DON'T WORK. There's another round of the "Insane Game Show" so get ready to guess the answers as you play along with "Pancho"!
01:33:46
June 18, 2022
Human Meatball Math, Printed Skin for Sex Robots, & Potty Training at the Hardware Store
S3E86 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  A Reddit user solves a mathematical word problem that may gross you out. Sex robots may be able to get you off...but with AI printed skin, you may now be able to help a sex robot get off. One toddler wouldn't get off a display toilet because he still "needed to finish" his job! And there's more stupidity that needs to get finished for this Midweek Bonus Episode... A Man Who Raps About Robbing ATMs Got Busted for Robbing an ATM;  A Bike Rider in CA Was Chased Down the Road...By a Zebra;  New Trend: "Healthy Coke"...or Balsamic Vinegar & Sparkling Water;  A Guy Told a Cashier to Empty the Register, Then Stole a Sex Toy Instead;  A Guy Paid with a Counterfeit Bill, Then Used the "Not My Pants" Excuse;  Graffiti Artists Hit Yet Another National Park;  A Poll for Father's Day Looked at the Top Dad Habits/Gifts Dad REALLY Wants for Father's Day.  And get the week's latest current events in the most stupid way possible in the "Insane Week in Review" as well as hear about the "real winners" with the weekly "Genius Awards"!
58:49
June 15, 2022
Cheesy Nail Polish, Missouri Cheese Cave, & FedEx Fellatio!
What's the cheesiest thing a woman could do to her nails? Make 'em smell like Velveeta, of course! But what happens if you have too much cheese? You store it in caves...in "The Show Me State". And If you need something delivered FAST, you call FedEx...which is EXACTLY what a FedEx truck driver did when his girlfriend "delivered" a mouth-watering gift to his lap. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" will wittingly describe what happened next. And you'll find out other close encounters of the STUPID kind with these samples... Some Restaurants Are Now Adding Fees to Your Check to Counter Inflation;  'Washington Post' Reporter Suspended 1 Month for Retweeting Sexist Joke;  A Man Robbed a Bank...the Day After He Finished an 8-Yr.-Prison Sentence;  NASA says it will investigate mysterious mounds on moon in Artemis mission;  Guy Did $5 Million in Damage at Museum Because He Was "Mad at His Girl";  The Word That West Virginians Ask Google How to Spell Is...West Virginia;  A Guy's Angry Girlfriend Crashed a Mack Truck into Their Mobile Home;  A Car Thief Was Released from Jail, & Was Arrested Again After Trying to Steal a Car in the Jail Parking Lot;  Pigeon Steals the Show at Service for the Queen of England;  An Inmate Broke Out & Tried to Steal a Little Girl’s Bike in Escape Attempt;  The Future of Drive-Thru? 4 Dedicated Lanes...& Food Delivered by Elevator;  Company dropping plans to equip drones with tasers;  Woman Who Sold Her Farts in a Jar Is Now Selling Her Boob Sweat;  A Man in FL Stole a Jet Ski, But He Didn't Know How to Swim;  Man found with trunk full of avocados arrested on suspicion of grand theft.  There's a couple more questions submitted from folks seeking the sage wisdom of my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" (or whatever he's calling himself this week...!) with topics like, "Help, My Grandkids Are Canceling Me!" & "Is It Weird To Have A GoFund Me To Send My Kid To A Good Preschool?"  And more fun playing our "Insane Game Show" with "Pancho" to see if you can tell the difference between a "Steakhouse Or A Gay Bar"!
01:32:53
June 11, 2022
Sexy Summer Dad-Bods, Barehanded Brooklyn Possum Pouncer, & A Boeing Boyfriend
S3E84 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  Once again I feel confident to strut onto a beach knowing my physique will drive women wild with my 2-liter abs. Dad-Bods are all the rage, but my guess is my pasty white skin may not be. A woman from Alaska was all the rage in a Brooklyn bar when she saved the customer from a savage attack by a ...POSSUM. A woman is sexually attracted to & wants to marry her "boyfriend"...a Boeing 737...she's named, "Dicki". And there's stuff more stupid than even this... Coffee Drinkers Less Likely to Die Early Than Coffee Dodgers;  Don Mattingly's Son Crashed His Car Then Drove to the Dealership to Sell It;  PA theme park ride strands riders upside-down;  Officials at airport seize cocaine stashed in wheelchair;  Someone Installed an Electrical Outlet...Into a Traffic Light Pole;  The Next Supply Chain Shortage: Movie Theater Popcorn;  No, you aren’t automatically saving money by working from home. Here’s how much it’s costing you.  And more stupidity right from the latest current events with the "Insane Week In Review" as well as the brain-trusts that have earned a spot in the Stupid Hall of Fame & receive this week's Genius Awards"!
57:08
June 08, 2022
A Naked BUTT in BUTTE, "Innovative" Beer...From PEE, & Sex-Induced Amnesia
There's naked butts in Butte, MT & it all ended with a head-butting incident. You've probably said the beer you're drinking "tastes like piss". Now there's beer MADE from piss. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" will tell you about an intense daytime romp a man had with his wife was soooo good he lost his mind--literally. And there's even more 5-star stupidity ahead... Mum In ‘Hysterics’ As 3-y/o Girl Gets Head Stuck In Toilet Seat;  Some Stupid Idiot Points a Gun at a News Crew During a Live Report;  A Viral Hack on TikToc to Keep Avocados Fresh Could Actually Kill You;  An HR Quiz Claims Workers Would Rather Get a Ping-Pong Table Than a Raise;  Walmart Is Issuing Citations for "Mistakes" Made During Self-Checkout;  Flight attendant warns why you should never use toilet paper onboard;  Guy Walks Into a Burger King & It Was Empty...Because No One Showed Up for Work;  Dad Charged $4,290 After Son Smashed Huge Teletubby Statue That Scared Him;  Principal Had to Take Care of 12 Horses All Day Because of Outdated Law;  Let the Mona Lisa Eat Cake;  Sonic workers flee from large snake found behind fryer;  A Pizza Pop-Up Didn't Realize Their Website URL Is Accidentally Vulgar;  Milky Way has 4 ‘malicious’ alien civilizations that could attack Earth;  Thieves rob Brooklyn church of $2M tabernacle, decapitate angel statue;  KY doc Stephanie Russell allegedly hired a hitman to kill her ex—twice;  How Do You Feel About Pickle-Flavored Mountain Dew?/Top Slogans for Pickle-Flavored Mountain Dew. I'll also "ASK PANCHO" a couple of questions submitted from folks seeking to tap his deep wisdom from some of life's mysteries like, "I Don't Want to Attend Anymore Potluck Dinners" & "Everyone Wants to Talk Politics But Me". And you can play along with "Pancho" to see who guesses faster in the weekly round of the "Insane Game Show"!
01:33:39
June 04, 2022
A Hillbilly "Helicamper", A Satanic Yoga Barbie, & Peeing on Peonies
S3E82 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  When the redneck camper is taken to a new level of "hillbilly", you convert a helicopter into a "helicamper". Bring on the "Church Lady" to warn unsuspecting children of a satanic possession if your Barbie doll does yoga. A $3 million "study" finds the best fertilizer for your peonies is "pee". Did I mention it cost $3 million? Did I also mention there's MORE stupidity? Can you handle it?  Woman Finds Face Of Wizard Gandalf Hidden In Her Floorboards;  Nabisco Is Selling an Oreo/Ritz Mash-Up/Food Mashups We Want to See Now That There Are Ritz-Oreos;  Miller Lite Invented a Beer-Infused Charcoal Called "Beercoal";  A Guy Plowed His Car into a Newly Remodeled Dairy Queen at Full Speed;  So Alec Baldwin Is Lecturing People on Workplace Safety Now;  Raccoon Gets Stuck Head-First In CA Home’s Roof; Angry McDonald’s customer BLOCKADES drive-thru for 2+ Hours over McMuffins. The latest current events are stupidly spun in the weekly "Insane Week In Review" plus our collection of "brain trusts" who win the "Genius Awards"!
48:54
June 01, 2022
See Johnny Cash Pee, An Arby's Manager Pee Perversion, & Cambodian Penis Plant Posing Problems
Sometimes things come in 3's: So this episode features stupidity about peeing, penises, & perverts. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" tells a story that may cause you to re-think ordering a milkshake from a Vancouver, WA Arby's. He's also found a woman who has found the perfect lover...who's her imaginary sexual "gratifier" & can perform better in bed than any "earthman"... You'll find some strange gratification from some of the other stupidity that's featured, too...  Man Arrested for Ramming Into Ambulance Because It Was Going Slow;  Johns Hopkins students invent edible tape to keep burritos together;  A Woman Drove into Wet Cement While Running from the Cops;  A Teenager Thought a Guy Had a Knife, but It Was Just an Old Flip Phone;  Texas 2-Y/O Orders 31 McDonald’s Cheeseburgers On Mom’s Phone App;  Woman Calls 911...& Twerked...When McDonald's Got Her Order Wrong;  Even Students Didn’t Like This Senior Prank;  New Tool for Babies’ Health: a ‘Smart’ Pacifier;  Amish Buggy Driver Charged with DUI After Crashing Into a Cop Car;  One of the 1st Couples to Marry Over Zoom Has Divorced, & They Still Haven't Met;  2 Men Arrested After Abandoning an Entire House in the Middle of Road;  Guy Builds Air Horn to Blast When His Neighbor's Dog Barks;  Woman Attracted To Objects Starts Dream Family Of 9 After Marrying Zombie Doll Bride;  Did a Fake Costco Tweet About Hot Dogs Tank Its Stock Price?  "Pancho" loans out his vast knowledge to 2 more folks who need to "ASK PANCHO" about some of life's biggest questions like "My Kids Hate Bathing" & "My Family Is Always Talking About How Much Money People Make". Play along with "Pancho" again this week for another round of our "Insane Game Show" to see if you can answer faster than he can!
01:22:41
May 28, 2022
COVID Swab Swallow, "Pepsi-Roni", & Driving on Poop Power
S3E80 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  It takes a special kind of stupid to swallow the swab you're using to give yourself a COVID test. But they're out there. And they're on this episode. In the on-going stupidity of food mashups, now we have pepperoni that comes with the soft-drink included. As the US powers past using fossil fuels to power their vehicles, the French have a smelly solution. This and even more silly stupidity awaits...  JetBlue makes hostile bid for Spirit Airlines after twice being rebuffed;  Man Calls Police When a Truck He Stole 5 Days Earlier...Is Stolen Again;  Cats Actually Know Each Other’s Names, Study Suggests;  Should Companies Have to Offer Paid Menstrual Leave for Periods?;  The Lady Who Fed Cheetos to Monkeys at the Zoo Insists She Did Nothing Wrong;  The Lady Who Fed Cheetos to Monkeys at the Zoo Insists She Did Nothing Wrong;  The Ringling Bros. Circus Is Returning Next Year...Without Animals.  More insanity from the weekly current events are stupidly covered with the "Insane Week in Review" and more award-winning stupidity from this week's entries for the "Genius Awards"!
49:53
May 25, 2022
Stupid Monkey Business, Mother's Day Thongs, & A High School Prank That "Jumped The Shark"
When you mix stupid people with monkeys, you're going to get some great material for a podcast. When you mix a thoughtful Mother's Day idea with a careless Catholic school, you get major embarrassment. When you mix high school seniors with a stupid idea for a prank you get in trouble with the PETA as one FL high school found out. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Gudro", knows about this particular high school since it happened in the very area where his parents live! "Pancho" will also answer some more questions from people who "ASK PANCHO" about hiding a tattoo from your parents & what to do when your significant other isn't a fan of your silliness." And there's more stupidity to amaze you...  Man proposes to woman at her father’s funeral: ‘Pure disrespect’;  A Woman Threw Pee When She Got Upset Over a Pooping Chicken;  A Man Who Was Arrested 3 Times for DUI Drove to Court...Drunk;  There's a "Kool-Aid Man" Trend That's Causing Broken Fences in NE;  Passenger With No Flight Experience Lands Small Plane in Miami;  A School Held a Burial for a Classroom Skeleton, Which Had Real Bones;  Couple Receives Wrong Hotel Room Key, so They Went in & Stole Stuff;  A Teacher's Aide Asked a Middle Schooler to Move His Truck, & They Hit 3 School Buses;  More Than 60% of Americans Are Hiding Something from Their Employer;  Leaders at San Jose church confirm they conducted ritual to rid 3-y/o of ‘evil spirits,’ leading to her death;  Worst Mother's Day Gifts Ever: An Xbox Controller & a Gunshot Wound;  A Thief Stole "Gazing Balls"...That Contained Ashes of the Victim's Parents;  Online Searches for Vasectomy Info Soars Since Roe v. Wade Opinion Leak;  A Woman Tried to Frame Her Husband by Putting Child Porn on His Phone;  Home Depot Rep Forces Man to Physically Return 240 Sq. Ft. of Defective, Unrolled Pine Straw.  "Pancho" will also try to solve more questions in the weekly "Insane Game Show", that you can play along with as well...and see if you can guess better than he can!
01:30:02
May 21, 2022
A Famous Farting "Fido", Sexually Harassing Bald Men, & Cookie-Flavored Underwear
S3E78 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  An ingested cat toy has created a viral sensation for a dog who ferociously farts from a peculiar position. The Bible prophet Elijah called the bears down from the mountain to maul the youth who teased him about his bald head. Today, we're more civilized. We just slap a sexual harassment suit on them. If you're sexual hunger includes a sweet tooth, you'll be interested in devouring the latest trend in women's lingerie. And that's just the start of the stupidity...  UT Woman Says School Gave Her 5-Y/O to a Stranger;  And Now, There's Cup Noodles...Makeup;  Family Dollar’s Rat Problem Just Got Bigger;  A Lady Stole a Jacket on Display at an Art Museum and Had It Tailored;  Pizzeria Bans Lone Minors After ‘Disrespectful’ Teens Leave 1¢ Tip;  Nantucket Moves to Allow People to Go Topless at All Its Beaches;  Plastic Recycling Is a Hoax! And, of course, there's the weekly "Genius Awards" that's doled out to 7 more stupendous stunts. Plus, get the summary of the week's stupidity in the news with the "Insane Week in Review"!
56:12
May 18, 2022
An EPIC Scammer Prank, A Weed Vending Machine, & NASA Nudes In Space
Have you ever wanted to see some Karma given to those annoying scammers who bilk people out of millions of dollars? Well, you now have your chance & my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", says it is the most righteous prank EVER! You'll also find out why "Pancho" has a grave dug in his back yard. He had his own stupidity happen at his FL home! If you've ever spotted a vending machine & sudden got the "munchies", now you'll hear about a vending machine that could ultimately GIVE you the "munchies". NASA wants to contact extraterrestrial life with naked pictures from Earth...and it's sounds out of this world! Plus, there's more "other-worldly" stupidity waiting in this week's episode...  Why Your Farts Smells So Much Nastier in the Shower;  Woman Pees Off the Side of Disneyland’s "Pirates of the Caribbean" Ride;  A Burglar Stole a Lawn Mower...But Mowed the Victim's Front & Back Lawns with It First;  Some Perv in FL FaceTimed Random People with His Junk Out;  Guy Thought He Saw a Guy Stealing from Grocery Store...So He Shot Him;  A Guy Didn't Add Milk to His Cereal, & It Punctured His Lung;  A Trespasser Tried to Hide from Police by Draping a Sheet Over Himself;  7-y/o Girl Goes Viral On TikTok After 1st Communion “Wine Chug”;  ‘Dead’ woman bangs on coffin to say she’s alive during her own funeral;  An Alligator Broke into a Couple's Garage and Drank Their Diet Coke;  CDC Tracked Millions of Phones to See If Americans Followed COVID Lockdown Orders;  Husband Expects His New-Mom Wife To Cook For Him At 2AM;  2 Hospitalized After Fight Over Doughnuts;  Satanic Temple Sues PA School Over Rejection of ‘After School Satan Club’;  A Guy Who Had to Grow a New Weiner on His Forearm Is Finally Whole Again;  What Your Hand Would Look Like if It Was Designed for Self-Pleasure.  The wisdom of my Insane FL Nephew is being tapped again by 2 more who want to "ASK PANCHO" about "I'm In A Mouse Hunt" & "I'm In A Mouse Hunt". We'll have more "Insane Games" to play along with "Pancho" to see if you can guess the answer faster than he can!
01:30:59
May 14, 2022
6-Pack (Tattooed) Abs, Take Your Kid To Crime Day, & A Real Alfred Hitchcock Nightmare
S3E76 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  I proudly sport a dad-bod & have never been interested in getting a tattoo. Until I read this story about a guy who tattooed 6-pack abs on his dad-bod belly. Now I'm rethinking. The family that vandalizes together stays together...in the Big House... Such was the case with one woman & her kids. A family in CA ended up being "for the birds" when they arrived home from vacation to discover to their horror that the swallows did not return to Capistrano...but to THEIR HOUSE! And there's more stupidity galore...  Drug Suspect Told Florida Police His Name Was ‘Tyler Durden’;  Man opens emergency door, walks on wing after United flight lands in Chicago;  He Forgot About His Whisky for 30 Years. It Was a $1.2M Blessing;  Is This Okay? A Couple Let Their 6-y/o Child Run a Marathon;  65% of People Think It's Cool to Bring the Family Along on a Work Trip;  40,000 Pounds Of Chicken Nuggets Spilled On PA Highway;  Lost for decades, Dorothy’s dress from ‘Oz’ up for sale.  There's the summary of stupidity in the "Insane Week in Review" as well as the latest geniuses who get the weekly "Genius Awards" for stupendous stupidity!
51:56
May 11, 2022
Rotary Dial Cell Phones, Orange Juice Cereal, & A Fictosexual Relationship Crisis
Do you miss rotary dial phones? If so, there's a new cell phone waiting for you...to assemble yourself! If you've ever run out of milk for your cereal for breakfast in the morning, now you can just use OJ...thanks to Tropicana. There's been people who have married animals, trees, themselves...but what about marrying a digital computer-synthesized fictional character? And what happens when the relationship develops "communication problems"? My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" will elaborate on this one. These are some of the stupid situations we'll sort through in this episode. And we're just at the tip of the iceberg...  A Guy Threatened Someone with a Magic Wand;  4-y/o Orders $230 Of Starbucks & Dunkin’ On Grandma’s UberEats Account;  Controversial Theory: Ancient ‘Hobbits’ Are Still Alive;  Lady Who Coughed on Uber Driver Now Accused of Stealing Nurse's ID;  A Man Was Arrested for Public Urination 3 Times in 10 Days;  A Sheriff's Volunteer Was Caught Selling Drugs Out of His Patrol Vehicle;  Half of Parents Still Financially Support Their Adult Children;  IL Main Finds 60-y/o McDonald’s Meal In His Wall During Renovation;  A Guy Hooked His Microwave Up to AI, & It Tried to Murder Him;  A Woman Ran Up to a Urinal & Stabbed a Guy in the Butt;  Parents Angry After Teacher Confiscates Daughter’s Phone For A Week— & Uses It As Her Own;  Woman Marries Her Cat To Try To Get Landlord To Let Her Keep The Animal;  Woman Goes Viral On LinkedInN After Revealing She Sits Under Her Desk Whenever She Needs To Escape ‘Overstimulation’ In The Office;  An Evil Twin Used a Good Twin's ID to Steal $72,000 in Military Benefits;  Hikers, Brace Yourselves for a New Poop Protocol!  And "Pancho" has more wisdom to share for 2 more who want to "ASK PANCHO: about "My Mom Makes Me So Insecure" & "“I Went On A Date With A Guy Who Looks Like My Best Friend's Husband"! We'll also play along with "Pancho" with our weekly "Insane Game Show"!
01:30:30
May 07, 2022
FL Dancing Drunk Drivers, A Reincarnated Kissing Jesus, & Snapchat's Selfie Drone
FL Drivers who get too much to drink are great dancers! Just ask the FL Highway Patrol who stop them! If you met Jesus in a locker room who wanted to give you a hug & a kiss, would you feel blessed? One guy did NOT. If you've fallen off a cliff too many times while snapping a selfie, Snapchat has the answer for you! A drone to follow you around taking your photo. And there's other stupid accounts from stupid people... Guy Blames His Farts on the Dog, & It Cost His Wife Thousands in Vet Bills;  A Woman Got a DUI After Driving Down the Stairs of a Police Department;  FL woman threatened to bomb hungry son’s school;  Your dog’s personality may have little to do with its breed;  Man Bizarrely Claims He Has Sexual Relationship With The Mona Lisa;  Angry Note Written on the Hood of a Car Parked Across a Sidewalk. Plus, more of the week's summary of the stupid current events as well as highlighting 7 more winners receiving the "Genius Awards"!
53:39
May 04, 2022
Crappy Coaster Crisis, A Crap House Catastrophe, & A "Crap-tastic" Son
If someone ever tells you that a roller-coaster would scare the $#!* out of them, you'd better take them at their word. It actually happened at Bush Gardens. If you ever drop your phone in an outhouse, you may just want to pass at the opportunity to fetch it. As my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" will tell you, you could wind up like one woman in Washington state: Upside down in crap... If you have a son who keeps his incapacitated father locked up in a room full of crap, it's time to cut him out of the will. Which should have been the case for one stupid FL man. And more crappy stories of stupidity...  A Study Found It's Not Your Fault Your Mother-in-Law Hates You;  Scammer Promised to Leave Easter Eggs in People's Yards, Then Didn't Show;  A Bride & a Caterer Secretly Drugged Their Wedding Guests;  Tough on Meth Sheriff's Daughter Arrested for Meth;  14% of Men Want a Urinal in Their House...91% of Women Do Not;  Man found stealing sacks of crawdads from LA pond around midnight;  A Jockey & Racehorse Both Tested Positive for Meth;  A Guy Inhaled a Drill Bit at the Dentist;  A Guy Named Aaron Burr Was Arrested for Pointing a Gun at Someone;  A College in UT Is Offering a 'Pornography Studies' Class;  Man Exposes Himself to Entire Hair Salon;  229 Lbs. Of Marijuana Discovered After Woman Runs Out Of Gas On Bridge;  Boy born with 2 penises has the larger one chopped off by doctors;  People with Kids Are More Likely to Have Road Rage;  CNN+ Streaming Service Shuddered Less Than 1 Month After Debut;  Lifehacker's Best & Worst Ways to Legally Get High.  "Pancho" will have some wise advice to some of life's questions as we hear from 2 more folks wanting to "ASK PANCHO" about situations like, "Help, I'm Too Embarrassed to Go Back to My Bank" and "My Favorite Foods Give Me Gas". Play along with "Pancho" to see if you can guess the right answers in this week's "Insane Game Show"!
01:39:41
April 30, 2022
"Pizza Rat" Meet "Smoking Roach", A Cold-Footed Former Cop Robber, & Scottish Lovers!
S3E72 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  The viral video of the rat dragging the slice of pizza in New York City has been eclipsed by a NYC roach who has a bad smoking habit. If you're a former cop who attempts an armed robbery at a dollar store, you best either rethink your options or follow through. If you're looking for a fling while doing some world traveling, the Scottish have some surprises up their kilts! Plus there's more examples of flaming stupidity...  A Shoplifter Started a Fire as a Diversion & Burned Down a Home Depot;  A Study Found Swinging Your Arms While Running Is Unnecessary;  Drug Suspect Found When He Flashed Laser Pointer at Police Helicopter;  Astronomers Say Probing Uranus Should Be a Top Priority;  ‘Easter Bunny’ Listed As Prosecutor In Hundreds Of IA Court Cases;  A Felon Tried to Go Through Disney World Security with a Gun & Drugs;  1 in 5 Drivers Have Flipped Someone Off in the Past Year. I'll run through the week of the latest current events and tell you how stupid they are, plus show off 7 more "winners" with the "Genius Awards"!
54:07
April 27, 2022
Kindergarten Koctails, Grand Theft Golf Cart, & The Loch Ness Monster May Be A "Phalus Erectus"
A big mix-up in Kindergarten class results in some mixed drinks for the kiddies. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" breaks down how it happened. A man who ran a golf cart stealing operation finally met the long arm of the law after stealing 63 carts in 7 states! "Pancho" also has some revealing information from a professor in England about a new "theory" on the Loch Ness Monster. And it's a WHALE of a tale. Plus there's these samples of stupidity... All Over TikTok, People Are Kissing Their Best Friends;  Shirtless FL man breaks into restaurant; Steals lava cake, cobbler & ice cream;  Cheating Wives Are More Likely to Own a Cat Than Any Other Pet;  Neighbor’s Warning Sign: ‘Do Not Buy That House’;  A USFL Player Got Fired for Wanting Pizza Instead of Chicken Salad;  Study: Your Mother-In-Law Bickers With You Due To Evolution;  Bizarre 75-Foot-Wide ‘Portal From Hell’ Opens Up In Lake In CA;  NJ drug bust nets $243K, 100+ lbs. of weed at drug ‘convenience store’;  Cockatiel lost for 3 years identified with help from TV theme song;  Portable nuclear device missing from stolen vehicle in PA;  $2,000 stimulus checks could be coming for people in this state;  Teacher Would Rather Be Redeployed to Iraq Than Go Back to a Classroom;  Driver Says His Tesla Car Computer Froze at 83 MPH on Freeway;  A Man Was Awarded $450,000 Because He Didn't Want a Birthday Party...But His Boss Surprised Him Anyway;  Man Accused Of Ruining Pal’s Wedding After Sneaking Pizza In For Hungry Guests;  Easter Bunny Accidentally Hands Out Condoms at Elementary School.  Also, "Pancho" offers his sage wisdom to 2 more people who will "ASK PANCHO" about "Do You Keep The Past A Better Memory?" & "I Don't Want To Go To My Neighborhood Party". We'll also have another round of the "Insane Game Show" where you can play along with "Pancho" to see who can guess better!
01:31:27
April 23, 2022
More "Self-Pleasuring" Injuries, PlayStation Bomb Scare, & A Domino's Cat Thief
S3E70 ~ BONUS Midweek Episode! -  Some people still will try anything to achieve pleasure with themselves. And nearly every time, they land in the ER. Such is the case with this Swiss man who nearly collapsed as lung while working SOLO. When you order a pizza delivery. you would expect the have the delivery person leave with something...like a tip...but not your pet cat. Imagine having your plane delayed due to a bomb scare. Then you find out it was caused by a gaming console that the TSA agents THOUGHT was a bomb... And there's more stupidity from people faking government agents for personal gain & more... A Woman Arrested for Car Theft Drove to a Court Appearance in Another Stolen Car;  A Guy Pretended to Be a DEA Agent to Get a Discount at Wendy's;  A Man Trying to Steal an Audi at a Dealership Claimed He's a US Marshal;  Babysitter Accused of Putting Child in Dryer & Spinning Him Around;  53-Y/O Crashed Through 8 Headstones While Learning to Drive in a Cemetery;  Who's the Biggest A-Hole You Know? It's Probably One of These 3 People;  Rich People Paying "Professional Baby Namers" $10K to Name Their Kid.  This week's current events couldn't get any stupider...but I certainly try with the weekly "Insane Week In Review". Plus the geniuses of stupidity get honored with another set of "Genius Awards"! They're like the "Darwin Awards" but these idiots just SURVIVE their stupidity!
55:31
April 20, 2022
A Grandma's "White Witchery", "The Sports Bra" Womens Sports BAR, & A Pre-Schooler's Naughty Card For The Teacher
You're going to get arrested if you assault a law enforcement officer. But what if you cast some "white witchery" on one? You'll get arrested! Just ask one PA Granny. A new sports bar trend sporting decor about womens sports has started up with a FANTASTIC name. Don't leave your naughty sexy greeting cards lying around the house if you have a pre-schooler. As my "Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" explains, they just may use it for their teacher. And there's more insane stupidity crammed into this week's show... Man Mortified After Submitting STD Results Instead Of Cover Letter For ‘Dream Job’;  A Woman Used Her Cat as a Weapon During a Domestic Dispute;  A Guy's Pile of Stolen Bikes Was So Big, You Could See It on Google Maps;  Cawthorn: “DC Elite” Invited Him to ‘Orgy,’ Did Cocaine in Front of Him;  Teacher Tries to Get Kids Interested in Science...by Setting a Student's Hands on Fire;  A Thief Made a Guy Pinky Swear He Wouldn't Call the Cops;  Start Digging in Your Sofa for Much-Needed Coins;  A Woman Who Wrote "How to Murder Your Husband" Is on Trial for...Murdering Her Husband;  A Guy Told Cops Throwing Bottles at Unsuspecting People Is Just a Thing He Enjoys Doing;  A Man Found a 7-Ft. Snake Hiding in His Couch Cushions/Top Really Clever Things the Guy Who Found a 7-Ft. Snake in His Sofa Should've Said;  Justin Bieber Got Booed for Dissing Montreal...During a Gig in Montreal;  A Zoo Is Worried That Teenage Gorillas Are Spending Too Much Time Looking at Cell Phones;  Town Removes 1,000 Daffodils from a Park So The Kids Don't Eat Them;  Move Over Jacksonville–An OK city probing source of foul mystery odor;  A Guy Didn't Want to See His Future In-Laws, so He Sent His Twin Brother.  "Pancho" will also offer his sage wisdom to a couple of folks who want to "ASK PANCHO" about some advice on "Is It Worth Risking A Friendship For Romance" & “My Elderly Neighbor Thinks My Girlfriend Is My Ex-Wife" Don't miss another round of the "Insane Game Show" & play along with "Pancho" to see if your guesses are as stupid as his!
01:46:60
April 16, 2022
A Bird-flipping Fetus, Male Libido Shock Therapy, & A Weaponized Commode
How would you take it when your unborn child flips you "the bird" in an ultrasound photo? One woman took it all in stride. If you guys have trouble "keeping it up" in the bedroom, there's some SHOCKING news for you. When you're being chased by police, would you think tossing a toilet at them would deter their pursuit? It didn't. And the stupidity you'll hear this week won't deter you form seen more next week! Just check out these samplings...  A Mall's Easter Bunny Actor Had to Be Tased by Police;  A Guy Beat His Roommate with a Stick While Arguing About What a Mosquito Looks Like;  ‘Dead Body’ Found In Search For Missing Woman Turns Out To Be Abandoned Sex Doll;  MI Mother Calls Police on 14-Y/O Son After Liquor Store Robbery;  Pepsi unveils ‘Cracker Jill’ version of ‘Cracker Jack’ to promote women’s sports;  Parents Unplug Ring After 3-Y/O Claims Voice Keeps Offering Him Ice Cream At Night;  Pentagon releases secret documents of UFO program after 4 yr. battle.  And the latest news & current events are given the usual stupid treatment in the "Insane Week In Review" as well as our weekly "winners" in the "Genius Awards"!
53:07
April 13, 2022
"Jackassery" Senate Confirmations, Houseplant Hotel, & A Strip Club Smackdown
Do cameras in the Senate Confirmation hearings cause "jackassery"? One Senator thinks so & he wants them out. Who takes their houseplants with them when they stay in a hotel? Enough of you to warrant a hotel in KY to cater to you! Ladies, if you want to stop your man from sneaking out to strip clubs, just remember the old adage: "If you can't beat 'em, JOIN 'em!" My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" has one example of what one woman did to the shock of her boyfriend. And there's plenty more "jackassery" to follow...  Woman Impersonates the Family Member of a Hospital Patient;  A Guy Broke Into a Gas Station But Couldn't Get to the Register...So He Just Stole Some Candy;  The Portland Unipiper's Unicycle Was Stolen from His Car;  71-y/o released from jail after marking pickleball court;  Milk Cartons Filled with Sanitizer Served to Students;  IL woman keeps getting ugly shoe deliveries from UPS;  Lawmaker Apologizes For Claiming Children Want Litter Boxes In Schools;  Guess What Happened: A School Photo Company Used a Green Screen...on St. Patrick's Day;  Scottish Conservation Group Builds World’s Largest Insect Hotel;  A 12-Ft. Alligator Moved into a New Home Right Before an Open House;  A Guy Hacked an Airline's Website & Found His Lost Luggage Himself;  Dyson Has Headphones That Strap an Air Purifier Across Your Face;  A Job Offer Text Ended with, "Are You Still Interested in the Position, You Piece of Crap?";  A Man in China Has Lived at an Airport for 14 years...Because He Doesn't Want to Give Up Smoking & Drinking;  TX Dad Admits the Skeleton in His Kitchen Is Son Who Died in 2018;  ‘Pizza Eggs’ Gain Steam On TikTok As A Protein-Packed Dish.  And "Pancho" gives more advice to people seeking his wisdom & you can also play along with "Pancho" in the weekly round of the "Insane Game Show"!
01:27:35
April 09, 2022
Improve Attractiveness With A Cat Poop Parasite, A Chocolate Bunny Assault, & Baked Bean Retaliation
S3E66 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  If you were told of a beauty secret was found in cat poop, would you be the first one to change the kitty litter? You just may want to. When a robber is making his getaway, there will be nothing that can stand in his way & he will use anything he can as a weapon. Including a chocolate rabbit. And it left a knot on the noggin of one store employee. When a girl dumps a guy, what does the guy do? Dumps baked beans in her shoes, for starters. Just wait 'til you hear what else he did. And wait 'til you hear the rest of this stupid episode full of stupidity like these...  FL Woman Arrested For Cyberstalking & More To Steal Victim’s Husband;  2 Kids Made Fake Cell Phones to Avoid Their Parents' Phone Curfew;  Spam Texts Are Now Coming From Your OWN Phone Number;  A Woman Got a Random Guy's Name Tattooed on Her Butt a Decade Ago, & Wants to Find Him;  Jacksonville, FL Weatherman Saves Driver After Crash;  A Guy Tried to Steal a Navy SEAL Vest Used in the Osama bin Laden Raid;  A Driving Instructor Was Arrested for DUI in His "Student Driver" Vehicle.  And I'll run down the stupidity from the week's headlines in the "Insane Week In Review" as well as bestow more "Genius Awards" to the best examples of stupidity this week!
01:01:26
April 06, 2022
911 Chicken Emergency, Urn Cleaner Coffee, & Trapped Farts In The E.R.
Do NOT get between a hangry woman & her chicken. One irate KFC customer who claims she was stiffed in her chicken count, calls 911 for a rescue. I've always thought Starbucks coffee tasted like urn cleaner... but I never expected Starbucks to actually SERVE urn cleaner. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", will "let it rip" about a woman who was too timid to "toot" in front of her boyfriend & wound up with trapped farts & severe stomach pains in the E.R. Need more stupidity? I've got you covered:  A Woman Ends Up Dating the Real Man Behind a Photo That Was Used to Catfish Her;  Someone Dumped Their Dog at a Shelter Because He's "Gay";  Study: Medical Marijuana Use May Lead To Addiction, Not Aid Health;  Demand for Psychedelic Toad Venom Leads to Fears for Species’ Survival;  400 Years After Extinction, Beavers Return To UK To Combat Flood Concerns;  Teen Driver Miraculously Drives Away After Tornado Flips His Truck;  Venice hotels arming guests with water guns to ward off seagulls;  WiFi will be on the moon in just 2 years;  A Dad Just Found Out He's Been Eating Dog Treats For 20 Years;  Tiny bird, abandoned by flock, nests in UK woman’s hair for 84 days;  A Kid Narc'd on His Mom During a DUI Arrest;  A Thief Stole 20 Left-Footed Sneakers from a Shoe Store;  2 People Tried to Poison Their Boss by Putting Eye Drops in His Coffee;  Woman Meets Dog Wearing The Exact Same Sweater As Her;  Woman Sues Over Delivery Of Chocolate Penis With ‘No Redeeming Qualities’;  CO School District Will No Longer Name Valedictorians.  Advice-seekers will "ASK PANCHO" about critical questions about allergies & COVID & having a "support hamster". Plus, you can play along with "Pancho" in the "Insane Game Show" to see if you can guess better than he can!
01:40:01
April 02, 2022
Oscar-Winning Stupidity, Father & Son Dope Bust, & Farmer's Market Weed
S3E64 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  The Oscars get STUPID with the slap heard 'round the world! Having your son go in "business" with you is typically a heart-warming thing...unless your "business" is in "ICE". Spring means farmers markets are popping up everywhere...and one market will have "The Bud Man" selling his "produce"...but it's not buds for your flower garden. Plus there's even more stupid... A Man Is Wailing on His Guitar to Protest a Bad Dentist;  Pennsylvania game warden frees stuck deer by shooting off antler;  Oh, Great: A Haunted Rock with a Demon Trapped in It Just Split in Half;  A Man in a Posh TX Hotel Shot Himself in the Junk;  A Pair of Drug Dealers Ran a Red Light & Almost Hit a Cop Car;  FL man dies after crashing his car into an 11-foot alligator;  Mother duck hatches eggs at Jacksonville, FL hospital’s maternity center. The "Insane Week in Review" will catch you up on the stupidity from the past week's current events & our "Genius Awards" highlight more "winners" in "talent"!
01:02:59
March 30, 2022
Dog Privacy In Google Maps, A $5,900 Ukraine Uber Ride, & A Tinder Date In SpongeBob PJs
We may argue that all dogs go to Heaven, but do they care if they're seen on Google Maps "Street View" shots? Google thinks so. You may have heard warnings to never order anything from Amazon while consuming alcohol. As you'll hear from my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", this also would include calling Uber for a ride, as one British lady found out. First impressions are everything & for one divorced mom, this was a stupid one for both her experience with Tinder...& her date. Pancho also tells of yet another account of how foreign objects find their way inside the body cavities of humans. Like the lady who discovered a shot glass somehow wound up in her BLADDER for 4 years! There's also these stories of stupidity...  A Dentist Cracked People's Teeth on Purpose so He Could Charge More;  A Guy Is Begging Pranksters to Remove the Giant Kmart "K" They Put in His Front Lawn;  A Refrigerator Repairman Stole $30,000 Worth of Turtles;  A Guy Moved into His Cubicle to Avoid Rent and Protest His Low Pay;  Someone Stole an Actual Fork in the Road;  Flock Of Escaped Chickens Ride Shotgun To Dunkin’ Drive-Through;  PA Firefighters Rush To Rescue Pet Stuck On Roof Only To Find A Happy Dog Who Likes Heights;  Professor Suing Students for Copyright Infringement to Try to Find Cheaters After Exam Posted Online;  Someone Stole an Actual Fork in the Road;  Rich Guy Gave Away $200,000 in Free Gas, Causing Huge Traffic Jams;  TikToker Secretly Stalks Her Ex While He Stalks Her Instagram for 3 Years;  Cricket juice healthier than orange juice? Insects loaded with antioxidants, research shows;  New Health Trend: Drinking Fish Tank Cleaner to Stay Young;  A Guy Slept in a Stranger's House After Mistaking It for His Airbnb;  Putin Cut Off From Precious Botox Supply Due to War Against Ukraine;  JetBlue passengers left waiting on plane after airport crew leaves for night.  More sage wisdom for 2 more folks who want to "ASK PANCHO" about some advice such as: "What's The Best Flavored Seltzer" & "I Found Out My Daughter Has Business Cards To Write Fellow Student's Essays". And play along with "Pancho" with the weekly "Insane Game Show"!
01:34:50
March 26, 2022
Paid For Your Poop, Auto-correct Causes Pittsburgh Panic, & A Ding-Dong Dinner Hack
S3E62 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  With the economy in the toilet, some folks are taking what's in the toilet & making money from it. If you've ever sent a text that was auto-corrected incorrectly, you've never caused as much embarrassment as it did in "Da-Burgh". Stop screaming to get the kids to the dinner table...just ring the doorbells. One mom has a clever way to save her voice. These specimens of stupidity as well as more lie ahead in this midweek bonus... Someone Stole All the Appliances from Their Airbnb;  A Man Tried to Carjack Officers in a Fully Marked Police Car;  Thieves Stole $5,000 Worth of Gas from Under a Gas Station...Using a Minivan with a Trap Door;  Who Will You Miss More When You Return to the Office, Family or Pets?/Top Reasons We Like Our Dogs More than Our Kids;  MN Mail Carrier Blocked By Deer;  Is This the Most Canadian Crime of All Time? A Roller-Blading Guy With a Hockey Stick Stole a Woman's "Toque";  Michigan house for sale features an unusual, throne-like toilet.  And get up to date with the current events is the most stupid way possible with the "Insane Week In Review" & meet 7 new "geniuses" who have been presented wtih the weekly "Genius Awards"!
01:01:13
March 23, 2022
"Bacon" The Pig On The Loose, Huffing Right Guard, & A Weaponized Sea Gull
I promise I'm not trying to be inappropriate when I say that there's a story about police & pigs in Houston, TX. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", has a bizarre tale of a woman in FL who was busted for DUI when cops saw she was using deodorant...but not the way it was supposed to be used. "Pancho" also advises that when engaging in a fight, you may be left with using any weapon you can find, even if it has wings & feathers. If these weren't stupid enough, there's more...  Wife Wants Husband to Pay $50K to Have Baby...;  A Guy Stole $800 from a Lost Wallet, & It Got Him Busted for Drugs;  Woman gets trapped in cruise ship water slide suspended over the ocean;  Border Authorities Find 52 Reptiles Hidden in Man’s Clothing;  A Guy Got Hit by a Car and Asked if His Beer Survived;  A Guy Asked 911 to Come Test His Meth;  Scientists use algorithm to figure out what pigs are saying;  French Restaurant Claims It Was Threatened By Patrons Who Thought Poutine Was Named After Putin;  2 YouTubers Were Arrested for Having a Sleepover at Target;  Ast. Principal Fired for Reading Children's Book, 'I Need a New Butt,' to 2nd-Graders;  Walmart Now Has Mac-&-Cheese Ice Cream & Pizza Ice Cream;  A Mother Charges Her Kids Rent at 16...But Gives It All Back When They Leave the House;  ‘Mummified Body’ Found in Wall at Abandoned Oakland Convention Center;  Jussie Smollett's Family Is Worried He'll Get Beaten Up in Jail;  Elderly woman dubbed ‘the hugging bandit’ pickpocketed victims after pretending to know them;  500-lbs. Man Chained Himself to a McDonald's That Was Closing in Russia.  There's 2 more folks who want to "Ask Pancho" for some advice about... "I Literally Follow My Friend Around With A Dust Buster" & "I'm A Plant Killer". And we'll play along with Pancho" for another round of our "Insane Game Show"...and you can play at home, too!
01:44:36
March 19, 2022
"Sologamy" Stupidity, "Charizard" COVID Relief, & Pusillanimous Poopers
S3E60 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  You're going to learn some new words for the stupidity you'll hear in this episode! There are an increasing number of women who want to be "sologamous"... that is to be interested in "self-partnership" (???) How do you partner with yourself? You MARRY yourself! More stupid stimulus cases where COVID relief money is being fraudulently used for stupid reasons... like spending almost $60k on a Pokemon card! Plus, we would all rather "hold it in" than poop at work or in a public restroom...and it could be because we are not using proper bathroom etiquette. The stupidity doesn't stop there...  US Customs officers seize about 300 leeches in Philadelphia;  A Man Pleaded No Contest to Hatching a Plan to Steal a Helicopter to Free Covid Patients from a Hospital;  Would-Be Cat Rescuer Needs His Own Rescue;  Canadian couple’s dog gives birth to rare green puppy;  Elon Musk Challenges Vladimir Putin to a Duel—Winner Gets Ukraine;  FL Man in Bathrobe with Holster Threatens Leaf-Blowing Neighbor.  Plus the weekly rundown of the current stupid events of the week as well as more "winners" in our weekly "Genius Awards"!
01:01:23
March 16, 2022
Silly String Assault & Battery, Sister Surrogate Sex, & A Real Police G.O.A.T.
Of all the school teachers that have been coated with silly string, now they can file charges for assault. At least that's what the parents of a couple of kids did to 2 other kids who "Silly-Strings" their precious children. Why spend all that money on IVF for your sister-in-law to carry your baby when you can just plant it in her MAN-ually? My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", will tell you that suggestion did not end well for one fellow. "Pancho" will also have a tale of how the police in VA may deputize a goat for being the G.O.A.T. in nabbing a perp. It's the Greatest Of All Stupidity with these stories & more...  Tough crap! After NYC poop perp walks, politician pitches felony law;  NC Woman Fighting DMV To Keep ‘Fart’ Vanity Plate;  A 9-y/o Snuck Out of His House, Boarded a Plane, & Flew 1,700 Miles Without His Parents;  FL Man Gets Pulled Over for Speeding & Blames Russia;  A.I. Can Now Read Your Social Media Posts & Determine if You're Nuts/Top Signs Someone's Nuts;  Realtor Goes to Wrong House...Got In...& Showed It to Prospective Buyers;  45,000 Pounds Of Chicken Fat Spill On AL Interstate When Semi Overturns;  Turkeys Causing Trouble In CT;  Box of human heads stolen from Denver truck;  PA Woman Dug Up Her Ex-Boyfriend's Ashes & Left the Urn Out for Her Parole Officer to See;  Joy Behar Fell on Her Butt LIVE on "The View";  New Yorkers Are Making Hundreds Of Noise Complaints Over Loud Sex;  Dad Confesses To Picking Out A Baby Name While His Wife Was ‘Passed Out’ After Birth;  Woman Banned From Tinder After Sharing Photos Of Herself ‘As A Clown’;  Wife Shot Her Husband in the Junk with a Spear Gun for Not Making Dinner;  There's a Specific Bathroom Stall That Gets Used Way More Than Others/Questions to Ask Yourself Before Using a Public Bathroom.  And "Pancho" has a couple more questions to give his sage advice. Our "Ask Pancho" questions are: "I Want To Screen My New Neighbor" & "My Ex Talks About Me On A Podcast" And you can play along with "Pancho" in another round of the "Insane Game Show"!
01:32:12
March 12, 2022
Drunk Fake Cop Tries to Arrest REAL Cop, 5-y/o Sends Pre-K Teacher to ER, & Offensive Dog Names
S3E58 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  Would it be setting an example to be driving drunk, pretending to be a cop when you pull over an ACTUAL cop for drunk driving? Yes. But to WHOM? A Pre-K student with special needs gives a glaring reason why there's a teachers shortage. Would you be offended if your neighbor called for their dog within earshot? What if that dog's name is "BONER"? And there's more...  If You Had to Choose, Would You Rather Be Smart & Sad, or Dumb & Happy?;  For Drivers in 2 States, Big Change Looms at Gas Pump;  A Guy Made $75,000 in a Year Just by Suing Telemarketers;  A Porn Habit Makes Men Worse in Bed...But It Makes Women Better;  FL Man Smashes Beer Bottle Over His Own Head & Got Himself Shot by Police;  A Guy Stalked a Woman...By Moving Into Her Attic;  People Working From Home ‘Are More Likely To Be Spied On By Their Boss’.  Get the rundown of the stupid current events from the past week with the "Insane Week In Review" as well as find out who the real "geniuses" are with the "Genius Awards"
58:05
March 09, 2022
Foreplay Dating App, Roaming Man-Goat, & A Battery-Powered Urethra
Well, here's an appropriately named dating app: Foreplay. It's for groups only. There was a group of neighbors who weren't playing around when they thought they saw a "goat-man" roaming the neighborhood. And my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", has the sordid tale of how one man was unsuccessful in charging up his sex life when he got a AA battery stuck inside his man-pipe! "Pancho" is back from a week of sickness & you'll want to find out how his little "Panchito" was able to get the whole family sick by liking a chair at the ice cream parlor. You'll also get a charge out of these other tales of stupidity...  The Tooth Fairy Is Paying More Than $5 Per Tooth for the 1st Time Ever;  UT man accused of telling 4-y/o to shoot at police after McDonald’s dispute;  Pepsi Is Releasing a New "Nitro" Version...Featuring Delicious Nitrogen;  Mysterious ‘bulging triangle UFO’ filmed over city for 2 hours;  Woman stuck headfirst in chimney for nearly an hour rescued;  Is Boiling Potato Chips to Make Mashed Potatoes the Next Kitchen Hack;  FL man steals crossbow by stuffing it down his pants;  Owner Slammed Over ‘Insane’ List Of Rules For Dog Sitter;  A Guy's Allergies Turned Out to Be an Extra Tooth Growing in His Nose;  World Can’t Get Enough Of Visit From Reporter’s Mom;  3 Charged with Stealing $1,000 in Candles from CVS;  Amish Buggy Driver Admits Having ‘Couple of Beers’; Arrested for DUI;  You Could Earn $6,500...By Smelling Dog Poop for 2 Months;  Some Idiot Tried to Rob a Police Station;  A Guy Tried to Steal a Truck and Ended Up Calling 911 on Himself;  A 78-Y/O Woman Robbed While Praying…in Church!  And, "Pancho" gives sage advice for a couple of people asking "“My Friend's Teen Daughter Is Starting To Ask Lots Of Sex Questions" & "My Friend Purposely Lets His Phone Die". Plus we'll play along with "Pancho" in our weekly round of the "Insane Game Show"!
01:28:23
March 05, 2022
Don't Stab Over Spilled Milk, BBQ Sauce Shoot-Out, The US's Most Sinful States
S3E56 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! - No one cried over spilled milk, but 2 Walmart employees got into it with one getting stabbed over it. And don't cross a Texan over BBQ sauce...otherwise, you'll have a Texas style shoot-out in your Dickie's BBQ. Do you live in one of the states that characterize one of the 7 Deadly Sins? Find out if you do...and find out more stupidity in this episode! OR city installs 37-ft. fork believed to be world’s tallest;  Lady Uses the War in Ukraine to Get Refund on Stand-Up Comedy Tickets;  Why Are So Many People Are Saying ‘Wordle’ Is Harder Now;  Authorities seize nearly $3M worth of meth in onion shipment;  2 Guys Ordered Subway...Paid...Ate It...Then Robbed the Place;  Potholes Are Being Plugged with...Phone Books;  Man Arrested at Zoo: I Just Wanted to Look Into ‘Eye of the Tiger’.  And get the stupid spin on the week's biggest current event headlines in the "Insane Week In Review" as well as the new glittering jewels on the crown of stupidity with the "Genius Awards"!
50:58
March 02, 2022
Coons At College, Odoriferous Jacksonville, & a "Package" With a Frozen "Wiener"
Nothing will liven up college life than having a wild raccoon crash into your lunchtime at the cafeteria. There's something that's making Jacksonville, FL stink to high heaven & there's a high tech way the city is trying to find out where the source is coming from. And there was a unique "injury" to a Finnish Olympic athlete during the Winter Games that nearly froze his "nubbin" off... Yeah, THAT "nubbin". This week, the show is also "Pancho-less" for the first time in many months because illness has struck my Insane FL Nephew...Mrs. Pancho... and even Panchito. And just wait until next week to find out the stupid reason why. But there's always more stupidity... Drunk Woman on Motorized Suitcase Arrested at Orlando Airport;  Sunroof left open in 63-degree weather lets 9” of snow into minivan;  A List of the Most Overused Work Phrases Includes "Keep Me in the Loop";  Disney Is Building Its Own Housing Communities All Over the US;  Woman Legally Changes Name TO ‘Unicorn Sparkle’;  A Guy Attacked an Applebee's Employee with a Meat Cleaver;  Man Cuts The Town's Internet By Mistake Trying to Cut Kids' Screen Time;  Teen Staring At His Phone Falls Through Open Trapdoor;  A Guy Was in the Middle of a Bike Race...& Got Attacked by a Bull;  A Woman in GA Faked 2 Pregnancies to Get Out of Work;  Mechanics Find Human Teeth & Hair Stuck in Grill of Woman’s Car;  WA Driver Caught Using Plastic Skeleton Passenger In Carpool Lanes;  Would You Be Able to Resist Someone Wearing French Fry Perfume;  Wait...These Babies Are Cousins & Twin Brothers…;  Man Set Aside $360 For Fiancé’s Valentine’s Gift Last Year Reveals He Deducted $1 Every Day She Yelled At Home—Leaving $40 For Her Gift;  Brach’s Has Taco-Flavored Jelly Beans for an Out-of-the-Box Easter Candy.  Since Poor "Pancho" is recovering from a sickness he caught from Mrs. Pancho...who caught from Panchito...who caught it from the chair in the ice cream parlor that he licked... this week's "Insane Game Show" comes from the Golden Age of Radio....and hosted by the legendary Art Linkletter!
01:04:21
February 26, 2022
A Stupid Tale of 2 Ottawa's, A Bare-Boob Bra Ad, & COVID-Shrunken Hamster Testicles
S3E54 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! -  How stupid can one be when calling in a bomb threat to Ottawa? When you make the call to the WRONG Ottawa. If you're going to sell a sports bra to "support" women's breasts in "all shapes & sizes", what better way than to do it FULL-FRONTAL on Twitter? Adidas is betting it will catch on. Men everywhere may be moved to get vaccinated against COVID when they hear what could happen to their MANHOOD. Hong Kong researchers found out by studying the effects on hamster testicles. There's more research on the stupidity of mankind from these specimens... A Criminal Shot Himself in the Foot...Literally;  What took so long? Hostess offers caffeinated donuts;  Old Lady Steals Cupcake-Cooking Science Project from a 4th Grader;  A Man Was Stabbed for Not Flushing the Toilet;  FL man dies after being run over by street sweeper he drove;  Human guinea pig: 4 in 10 people admit to taste-testing their pet’s food;  SUV slides into MI river when driver gets out to relieve himself.  Why concern yourself with the mainstream media who will spin the news either left or right when I just put a STUPID spin on the latest current events for the "Insane Week In Review"? And find out the "geniuses" who did the most stupendous stupidity in the "Genius Awards"!
57:05
February 23, 2022
Bored Security Guard "Improves" $1M Artwork, Butt Grenade Bomb Threat, & A Hissy-Fit in Aisle 3
When you're bored on the job, it's a good idea not to mess with the merchandise, no matter how much you think it needs improvement. Such was the case with a security guard who's contribution to the art world was NOT appreciated. It was a bad gamble for one guy to tell a casino that he had a grenade in his butt & was going to blow up the place. "Pancho Guero", my Insane FL Nephew, has the story of a woman who had a full blown hissy fit in a FL Walmart thinking she was getting the employee discount. Also, these stupid-but-true tales...  Just How Good Is Sex For Your Skin;  Tom Holland Thought Mark Wahlberg Gave Him a Sex Toy & Was Trying to Hit on Him;  Woman Impales Her Foot on a High-Heel While Trying to Kill a Spider;  Shoes From Coffee Grounds & Recycled Bottles Are Waterproof & Comfy;  You've Been Buttering Bread Wrong Your Whole Life;  19-Y/O Woman Finds Out 13-Y/O Brother Is Her Twin;  Drunk Driver Pulls Out Liquor Store Gift Card Instead of Driver’s License;  Miami agrees to do something about its peacock problem;  Zoo hires Marvin Gaye impersonator to get monkeys in the mood;  Someone Tried to Smuggle Cocaine...Inside 20,000 Coconuts;  Guy Tries to Smuggle 2 LIVE Men Into US in a Coffin;  A Pizza Chain Ran a New Ad & Didn't Realize It Included Porn;  37% of Men Gain Weight Watching Football...& the Most Popular Super Bowl Foods in Each State/Reasons I Didn’t Watch the Super Bowl;  A Report About a "Sinkhole" in the Road Turned Out to Be a "Whole Sink";  High School Class Gets Eyeful of Porn Pics;  Drunk Guy Claims to Be Mick Jagger, Climbs on Stage At a Live Show, & Fights a Cop. We'll play more "Insane Games" with "Pancho" to determine if it's a "Steakhouse or Gay Bar" or if it's "Fake News or FLORIDA"!
01:38:29
February 19, 2022
Fart-less Teslas, Ice Fishing Prostitutes, & A Drunken Disney Catfight
The Federal Funsuckers have forced Tesla to restrict its flatulence noise & Elon Musk is tweeting his displeasure. An OH mayor can't show his face in the public sector anymore after comments he made about the slippery slope of ice fishing...so he resigned. And 2 drunk sisters turn Disney Springs into a scene from "Girls Gone Wild" with a half-naked full-blown knockdown drag-out. The endless supply of stupidity is flowing with these & other samplings...  Man Arrested for Driving Around with an Alligator He Was "Babysitting";  New Zealand’s New Secret Weapon: Barry Manilow Songs;  You Can Predict the Stock Market by Tracking the Music We Listen To;  Emotional support or hogwash? Man fights to keep his pet pig;  A Thief Broke Into a Store and Stole $250,000...of Pokémon Merch;  ‘Time-traveller’ claims NYC will be bombed by rogue Chinese Airforce pilot;  Woman arrested for after burning down husband’s shed with a blow torch.  The week's current events are summarized in the stupidest way possible with the "Insane Week In Review" & there are 7 more "Geniuses" awarded the highest "honor" of stupidity in the "Genius Awards"!
57:59
February 16, 2022
Kinky Pittsburgh, Horny Build-A-Bears, & A Naked Man Hiding His Junk In A Trunk
Pittsburgh has some of unique bragging rights like having the most annoying dialect, but being the kinkiest city in America for "experimentation" was not what I was expecting. If you think a romantic Valentine's Day gift would be to take your sweetheart to a Build-A-Bear store, you may add some octane to your romance if you get a Build-A-Bear "After Dark". How would you react if you realized you'd been driving around town for THREE DAYS, doing normal things like running errands & going to work, only to discover you've been riding around with a NAKED MAN in your trunk? My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", will tell you about one British Columbia woman who did. There's a boatload of stupidity waiting to be bailed out in this week's excursion, like these:  A Couple Stayed in an Airbnb, & Took Someone's Cat Home with Them;  Homeowner tries melting snow with garden-torch, sets house on fire;  Lady Gets Rejected for Job Because Her Voicemail Greeting Was Too Jokey;  A Couple Bought a Used Couch & Found Thousands of Fingernails in It;  Homeowner tries melting snow with garden-torch, sets house on fire;  A NJ Town Canceled Its Groundhog Day Event After Its Groundhog Died;  A Wrong-Way Driver Says Dale Earnhardt Sr.'s Ghost Told Him to Do It;  A Woman Who "Loves a Man in Uniform" Was Arrested for Slapping a Sexy Cop's Backside;  Punxsutawney Phil Saw His Shadow...& 58% of Americans Trust Him;  FL man shoots up his own car in road rage incident;  Couple Gives Their Toddler an Apple Watch–He Promptly Called 911;  Neighbor Demands Couple With Loud Bedroom Habits ‘See A Therapist’;  Guy Attacks G/F Because She Didn't Find Cristiano Ronaldo Attractive;  The Body Parts We Don't Clean Enough Include Our Armpits & Butt;  Cannabis may impair driving ability for up to 4 hours, study finds;  Introducing the "Kosk": A Foldable Mask That Only Covers Your Nose When You're Eating.  And we have questions from folks on problematic issues that they want to "ASK PANCHO" about: "My Grandma Thinks An Entertainer Is In Love With Her" and "I Found Out That My Mom Has Been Drinking Wine Out Of Mugs For Years" And play along with "Pancho" in the weekly "Insane Game Show" to see how well you can determine between a "Porn Star or a Weatherman" & more!
01:39:54
February 12, 2022
Stupid Auto Thieves, Bezos' Bridge Bribe, & A Sassy School Photo Snafu
S3E50 ~ BONUS Midweek Episode! -  Stupidity was in overdrive with a couple of auto thieves who bungled their burglary. Jeff Bezos is throwing his money around so he can get his super-sized sailboat out into the open waters in The Netherlands. And a mom of a 3-y/o girl thought it would be a sassy idea to dress her kid for school in a shirt that said "Sasshole"...until she saw the results from the school photos that were taken that day. More outstanding stupidity crammed into this midweek bonus episode also include...  A Guy Lost His Car, Stole a New One, Let It Get Hit by a Train, & Then Flagged Down a Cop for Help;  Teens Steal a Truck, Find a Phone in It, & Start Snapping Selfies;  OR Woman Duped Into Thinking She Was A DEA Agent For Almost A Year;  Sneaky Chicken Picked Up From Pentagon Security Area;  Pelosi spent over $500K on private jets despite claiming ‘we have a moral obligation’ to reduce emissions;  Home Depot Employee Caught Swapping $400,000 with Counterfeit Money He Bought on Amazon;  18 Snowmobilers Rescued From Breakaway Ice Floe After on Lake Erie;  Bride Has ‘Slowest Walk Down the Aisle in History’ as Her Ring Bearer Pet Tortoise Steals the Limelight on Her Big Day.  And the headlines of the week have been stupefied in the "Insane Week In Review" as well as our weekly winners of the "Genius Awards"!
01:01:27
February 09, 2022
Break-Neck Reality Game, Breaking Nipples, & A West VA Dog Heine
These virtual reality games are all "fun & games" until someone breaks their neck. Which really happened to a guy in Germany. Daring someone to spray their nipples with Axe Body Spray is all "fun & games" until they freeze & are flicked off. Which really happened to a guy in the UK & my "Insane FL Nephew", "Pancho Guero" will "break" it down. And it's all "fun & games" until Bette Midler calls West Virginians "poor, illiterate, & strung out". That's when the WV Governor brings his pet pug to use as an illustration to his "State of the State" address when he told Ms. Midler to kiss its "heine". And there's even more fun & games both in stupidity & in real games... PA Man Offers to Make His Friend Food, Then Beats Him w/a Frying Pan When He Says No;  A Man Thought He Had a Hernia...Turns Out He Had a Uterus;  A PA Uber Driver Caught Her Boyfriend w/Another Woman When She Picked Them Up on a Date;  A Guy in China Used a Suicide Attempt to Pressure His 29-Y/O Son into Giving Him Grandkids;  Woman Shows Boyfriend Positive Pregnancy Test...& He Thinks It’s COVID;  Mom Got Her Kid's Birthday Wrong for 2 Years Until Her Insurance Co. Set Her Straight;  FL Woman Went Out of Her Way on a Road Trip, Because She Thought the Swiss Alps Were in NC;  A Limo with a Stripper Pole Mounted on the Trunk Crashed into a Creek;  There's a New Condom, & 1 in 6 Men Say It Makes Sex Better;  The US Is the "Sexual Wellness Capital of the World";  Man Seen Walking Rooster On A Leash In OH Becomes Overnight Social Media Celebrity;  Restaurant Threatens to Fire Employees If They Didn't Bring in 5-Star Reviews;  MD officials discover the body of a deceased man inside his home filled with more than 120 snakes;  A Guy on Drugs Tried to Claim His Bag of Syringes Was "For Fishing";  TikTok Trend Hilariously Captures How It Can Feel To Take Care Of Our ‘Stupid Mental Health’;  A Guy in a High-Speed Chase Refused to Stop Until He Finished His Burger.  Of course, the "games" are the "Insane Games" that you can play along with "Pancho" so get your brain in gear!
01:43:48
February 05, 2022
Minnie Mouse Goes "Hillary Clinton", Metaverse Weddings, & A City Logo's "Exclamation"
S3E48 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode!  The French are giving Disney's iconic female mouse a new wardrobe. Weddings are getting a virtual makeover that goes beyond your imagination. And there's a lot of exclamation over an AL city's new logo. Plus more mid-week stupidity to distract you from the stupidity you're already having to deal with...such as:  NYC Mayor Wanted to Hire Brother for $210K Job in Charge of His Security, Board Says $1 Instead;  Bald Eagle Slams Into Front Window Of Pennsylvania Home;  A Man Was Finally Caught After Driving Without a License...for 72 Years;  26% of Young People Masturbated More During the Lockdowns;  An Inmate's Girlfriend Tried to Trick a Jail by Sending a Fax That Said He Was Up for Release;  A Tab Superfan Is Begging Coca-Cola to Bring It Back...Because Her Stockpile Is Down to Just 23 Packs;  ‘It’s A Small World’ ride turns into nightmarish scene after dark. More stupidity is spun into the week's top headlines in the "Insane Week In Review" & more "Genius Awards" are given for the stupendous stupitidy!
57:18
February 02, 2022
Bologna Beauty Masks, Semen Face Cream, & A Pastor's Sacred Slobber
Would you consider using a bologna face mask as pure baloney? Oscar Meyer doesn't. Would you consider smoothing out those wrinkles in your face with man-juice? One beauty blogger would...but would she use it with a bologna face mask? "Pancho Guero", My Insane FL Nephew will elaborate on those stories.... Or would you consider the healing powers of a Tulsa, OK mega-church preacher who rubs his slobber all over your face? One man did...and never once considered it a COVID risk! Does all of this sound like a lot of B.S.? It might, according to a Wake Forest University psychologist's study. Need more examples of stupidity?  Lab monkeys escape, recovered after PA truck crash;  A Man Broke Into a School...to Reclaim Something That His Teacher Took From Him 40 Years Ago;  Irish police investigate claim dead man taken to post office;  Man sets himself ablaze after matchmaking agency refused arranged marriage;  Hershey hockey fans set world record in ‘Teddy Bear Toss’ game;  2 Men Were Hit by a Woman Falling Out a Window, Who Was Looking at Another Man Who Fell Off a Roof;  Lessons from the Science of B.S.;  New Dating Hack: Faking a Positive Covid Test in the Middle of a Bad Date;  Armed suspects take French bulldog from CA family; Return to steal car;  The Style Trends of 2022 Will Include: Mullets & Goth Business Casual;  Woman Mortified After Figuring Out Why She Didn’t Hear Back From 60 Jobs She Applied For;  President Biden Got Caught on a Hot Mic Calling Someone a "Stupid [S.O.B.]"; A Man Stole an $8,000 Guitar By Hiding It Down His Pants/Signs the Guy Next to You Has a Guitar Down His Pants;  Viral TikTok: Lady Flips Out on a Closed Taco Bell for Refusing to Serve Her at 4:03AM;  A Guy Ran from the Cops, Fell Through Ice, and Had to Be Rescued;  US Senate Candidate in LA Releases Ad With Him Smoking Marijuana;  Italy’s top court rules A neighbor’s noisy toilet is a human rights violation.  Grab your friends & play along with "Pancho" in this week's "Insane Game Show" to see if you can know the difference between a "Porn Star or Weatherman", a "Daycare or a Strip Club", "Fake News or "Florida"...and more!
01:48:50
January 29, 2022
Joker Alert in Missouri, MOON over New York, & A Granny Scams a Scammer
S3E46 ~ BONUS Midweek Episode!  The Missouri State Highway Patrol had some 'splainin' to do when they alerted the residents of that state to be on the lookout for a 1978 Dodge 3700GT in Gotham City, MO. Since there IS NO Gotham City, MO. Being on a crowded plane flight & sitting next to a very LARGE man is bad enough, but having a very large man who is causing problems & MOONING the flight crew is taking stupidity to the next level. A Long Island Grandma took things to the next level by helping the cops set up a sting operation on some scammers. There's so much stupidity we need a 2nd Bonus episode to cover it. But I won't. So you'll have to wait until the next Bonus feed to hear the rest! But these should keep you sustained until then... TV Reporter Hit By SUV During Live Broadcast-Gets Up & Finishes Report;  Scientists think they figured out when the Sun will explode & kill us all;  As the Price of Pork Rises, People Are Turning to Crocodile Meat;  New Employee Asked to Decorate His Cubicle, & Created an Elaborate "Rustic Cabin";  No, a School Didn't Add Litter Boxes for Students Who Are Furries;  Woman Finds Out Boyfriend Prefers a "Nest" of Clothes Instead of a Bed;  Toddler Accidentally Purchases Nearly $2,000 Worth Of Items From Walmart. More stupidity that's as fresh as the past week's headlines in the "Insane Week In Review" as well as some real "winners" in this week's "Genius Awards"...
01:12:35
January 26, 2022
Pot Brownies For Seniors, An Autographed Liver, & A Felony Glitter Assault
Looks like Grandma was a hit at the local Senior Center when she brought her son's home made brownies laced with THC. A doctor thought he was a celebrity so much that he burned his initials into a patient's liver. And 2 women found themselves slapped with felony assault after attacking a man with...GLITTER. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" has a story about what brings pleasure to dolphins. And there's an insane story about what DRAKE allegedly did to thwart any unwanted "little Drakes" from being created. This, as well as an overdose of stupidity from incidents such as these...  Excessive Flatulence Is the #1 Symptom We're Too Shy to See a Dr. About;  Our Favorite Foods to Pair with Wine Are...Wings & Mac-’n’-Cheese;  TSA's Weirdest Catch Last Year Was Someone with...a Meth Burrito;  Husband & Wife Busted for Drunk Driving in the Same Car, on Same Night;  On a Scale of 1-10: the Average Guy Thinks He's a 5.9/Signs You're Not as Attractive as You Think;  NC Man Scales Electrical Tower–Causes Widespread Power Outage;  Judge Threatens to Throw a Cancer Patient in Jail for His Overgrown Yard;  MD man receives 1st successful pig-to-human heart transplant;  A Woman Threatened Her Cat with a Timeout, So It Put Her in the Hospital;  Vandals Were Caught Because Bartender Recognized Them as Jerks Who Didn't Tip;  A Guy "Busts" a Cop for Speeding;  2021’s Big Record Scratch: Vinyl Takes the Edge Over CDs;  A Teacher Went Viral Because She Does Her Hair and Make-Up Before Bed;  Reptile Dysfunction: Salmonella outbreak tied to pet bearded dragons. Play along with "Pancho" in another weekly round of the "Insane Games"!
01:44:53
January 22, 2022
Sleepy Chicken TicTok Challenge, After-School Satan Club, & A Sushi Binge ER Trip
Another year, another life-threatening TikTok challenge involving marinating your chicken breast in Ny-Quil. Children invited to an after-school satan club has parents of the Good News Clubs ready to raise hell. Was getting 11 million TicTok views worth the scare of having a heart attack worth gorging yourself with sushi? Apparently so for one moron. And there's more... Hate Smiling in Photos? Many Opt for a "Surprised Face" or "Kissy Face";  2021 Smashed the Old Record for People Acting Like Morons on Planes;  Tuning out! Viewership at CNN plummets by as much as 90% from last year;  Woman Drives on Frozen River & Took Selfies on Top of Her Sinking Car;  Most Parents Say They Develop ‘Superpowers’ After Having a Baby;  First Brand Apology of 2022 Did Not Take Long;  Norway tells conscripts to return underwear after service. And there's more stupidity from the past week's current events as well as more winners for this week's "Genius Awards"!
01:02:32
January 19, 2022
Pink LEGO Anuses, Being Coy About "Cuy", & A "DMV" For Goldfish
The new "Majestic Tiger" by LEGO has a piece that kids will be looking for: a circular pink "block" that fits underneath its tail. Yes, it is what you think is. Have you thought of being a "guinea pig" for something new? Like EATING guinea pig?? Scientists have been hard at work teaching goldfish how to drive. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" has an update on the "90 Day Fiance", who made a fortune in farts, & now is going to retire due to "excessive gas". He also has the painful story of a desperate woman that needed to pee so bad that she took desperate measure when the bathroom was occupied by her boyfriend. And there's more....  Family Discovers Old, Wrapped Christmas Presents in Their Dead Grandparents' Attic;  Mother Stuffs Teenage Son in Car Trunk, b/c She Thought He Had Covid;  Planters Is Hiring 3 New Drivers for Its Nutmobile;  A Guy Robbed an Adult Store After Applying for a Job There;  Treasure hunters sue for records on FBI’s Civil War gold dig in Elk Co., PA;  Family cat accidentally donated to thrift store with old recliner;  Man Poops on Child’s Picnic Table & Steals Scooter on Christmas;  New Trend: Humblebragging About Your "Pretty Privilege";  Woman Gets Married in Vegas...to the Color Pink;  A Murderer Was Caught Because He Refused to Wear a Face Mask;  Man Finds Live Frog In His Boxed Lettuce & Decided To Keep It As A Pet;  Woman in ice cream shop strips off her dress & used it as mask;  Pope Says Couples Who Choose to Have Pets Over Kids Are 'Selfish';  Honda Clocks Are Stuck 20 Years in the Past & There Isn't a Fix. Play along with "Pancho" with this week's collection of fun during the "Insane Game Show" & see if you can tell the difference between... == FAKE NEWS OR FLORIDA == == STEAKHOUSE OR GAY BAR == == STRIP CLUB OR DAYCARE == == PORN STAR OR WEATHERMAN == OR == GOLF COURSE OR REHAB ==
01:52:21
January 15, 2022
COVID Urine Therapy, Kim Jong BURRITO, & Bogarting Bleachers
S3E42 ~ Bonus Midweek Episode! -  Let's face it. There's been a LOT of "remedies" for treating, preventing, & curing COVID. But drinking one's pee will not be one I will experiment with. On your next visit to Taco Bell or Chipoltle, or Moe's you can thank the Dear Leader in North Korea for your BURRITO. When you need to seat about 20 people in bleachers, just take your town car to the nearest park & hook up a set. Then drive off with them dragging behind you as you drive back home. Seem logical? Apparently so for one man in AL. That is, until the cops pulled him over about a mile & a half down the road. Looks like 2022 is off to a roaring start... with these specimens:  2 Parents Intentionally Left Their Kid 'Home Alone' During the Holidays;  Man Buys Wife Identical Earrings for Christmas, but 1 Had Fake Diamonds - He Made Her Pick;  Guy Caught w/Drugs Claims His Pants Belonged to Someone Who's 2 Ft. Shorter;  Skiers Blasted w/Cold Water from a Hydrant Below a Chair Lift;  Guy Gets Stuck in I-95 Traffic Jam in an Uber & Was Charged $600;  2 Women Couldn't Open Their New Blender...Because Their Cats Wouldn't Stop Sitting on the Box;  Grocery Chain Getting Rid of Milk Expiration Dates-Says to Use 'Sniff Test'.  Plus there's all of the week's round-up of current event news...with my stupid spin...and I bestow more stupidity to the latest Genius Awards!
58:35
January 12, 2022
My Flurona, CNN's New Year's Drunken Eve, & The Pedicure From Hell
If you caught COVID over the New Year's holiday, count yourself lucky you didn't catch what one woman in Israel did. Andy Cohen caught plenty from his New Year's Drunken rant taking pot-shots at Ryan Seacrest & Journey. And my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", tells of a FL beautician who caught royal heck from a customer who had to have her leg AMPUTATED because of dirty tools used on a pedicure! Looks like 2022 is going to be a doozie for stupidity. Here's more proof:  Earth Is Spinning Faster Now Than It Did 50 Years Ago;  Woman Tests Positive for Covid Mid-Flight, & Quarantines in Bathroom;  Guy Falls Off His Bike While Carrying a Sword in His Backpack & Was Seriously Wounded;  Exploding meteor blamed for ground shaking, loud boom in Pittsburgh;  Guy Tries to Buy SUV by 'Rapping Good,' Then Stole a Frito-Lay Truck;  NASA hired 24 theologians to study human reaction to aliens;  Scientists confirm biggest bug ever—an ancient millipede “big as a car”;  Woman Convinced She’s ‘Cursed’ By ‘Little Trinket’ She Bought From Thrift Store;  Lawsuit Accuses Alleged New York City ‘Squatters’ of Rowdy Sex & Screaming Matches;  2 Women Got Locked Out of Their Car & Trashed a Store Out of Frustration;  A Long John Silver's Customer Got Violent Over Hush Puppies;  ‘Penis-like’ potato statue toppled 2 months after erection;  Listing for all-black ‘goth home’ in IL goes viral;  Ex-Versace model credits youthful looks to drinking his own urine;  ‘No Worries’ Makes Annual List of Stupid Phrases to Banish;  Why can’t we throw all our trash into a volcano and burn it up? And play along with "Pancho" for the year's first "Insane Game Show" & see how you do!
01:48:38
January 08, 2022
Failed Bridge Theft, Vegan Fraud, & A Parakeet Breeding Blowout
S3E40 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode!  I have to hand it to the guy who successfully stole a pedestrian bridge, even thought I don't endorse it! But the guy who said he was "betrayed" by his girlfriend for serving him vegan food, I have no respect for...he's just a wuss. But the guy who let his bird breeding get "out of control" is really a bird-BRAIN. This & so much more fresh stupidity for the new year such as... McDonald’s rations French fries in Japan;  Mom Shares Hilarious ‘Elf On The Shelf’ Prank That Left Her With New Hairstyle;  Woman Caught With Knives Hidden In Darth Vader Teddy Bear;  NH Brothers Have Been Regifting Same Box Of Candy For 34 Years;  Customers Flood Yankee Candle’s Amazon Reviews Claiming Their Candles Have No Scent–Surge In Omicron Cases May Be To Blame;  A 10-Y/O Asked for a Challenge. Alexa Said to Touch a Plug With a Penny;  Could a comet really destroy Earth like in ‘Don’t Look Up’ on Netflix?  And we've got the rundown from the latest current events over the New Year holiday as well as first 7 new "Genius Award" winners!
50:31
January 05, 2022
The BEST of STUPIDITY - 2021
Well folks, we were able to scratch & claw our way out of 2021. Here it is, 2022...a new year & new opportunities for homo sapiens to make a completely stupid MESS of life! So enjoy this special episode that features my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho 'Nuevo' Guero" as we look over our shoulder & wave "goodbye" to another stupid year, of 2021. There was so much stupidity, it was hard to sift through all of it. So, I scoured through 12 months of episodes & picked over 4 pages of headlines that would be worth considering. Then "Pancho" looked over that list & filtered it down to the 14 stories that topped all the others in stupidity. And here they are in chronological order... Psychic who ‘sees future’ by throwing asparagus makes predictions for 2021;  Police Bust Up a Swingers Party…& Get Mistaken for the Strippers;  Man wanted after stealing one girlfriend's engagement ring to propose to his other girlfriend;  Guy Has to Go to ER After Having Sex with His Wife Through a Door;  A Parent Is Suing to Marry Their Adult Child...But It's Going to Be Tough to Win;  Two Guys Wound Up in the Hospital After They Injected Each Other's Junk with Hemorrhoid Cream to Make It Bigger; A Woman Is Hospitalized After She Accidentally Put Glue into Her Eye Instead of Eye Drops;  A Bomb Squad Finds a Grenade Is Actually Just a Grenade-Shaped Adult Toy;  A Teacher Was Caught Enjoying a Man Nipple During a Class Zoom;  'Penis Snakes' From South America Have Been Discovered In FL;  Teen Gets USB Cable Stuck in Penis in Backfired Attempt to Measure Length;  Due to the Bus Driver Shortage, a School Hired a Party Bus With Stripper Poles for a Field Trip;  Family Finds Dead Grandfather Being Dissected at an 'Oddities' Event;  An Airplane Passenger Refused to Stop Breastfeeding Her Cat!  And I had to share a couple of these examples of stupidity to the subscribers to the "Insane Erik Lane's Stupid World Telegram Channel"! Download the Telegram app & subscribe to enjoy these & all the other outrageous tales of stupidity at https://t.me/InsaneErikLane!
01:16:30
January 01, 2022
Getting Rich Selling Farts In A Jar, Turning Women Into Cows, & Beetle Sex
Another example of how I picked the wrong career: I could be making $50k a week selling farts in a jar like this woman. There may not be a job left for some South Koreans after women pitched a fit over a milk company's ad campaign. And it turns out beetles are into oral sex...& of course, there are scientists that "get off" studying them. Plus, more stupidity from my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero"...who will probably give me the worst Christmas gift I will receive this year... talking about a man who didn't think things out completely when he chose to rob his own bank. Plus a gift bag full of more stupidity:  Man Kicked Off Flight for Wearing Women’s Underwear Instead of Mask;  North Korea Executes People for Watching K-Pop;  MTA Manager Caught With Blow-Up Doll In An Attempt To Skirt HOV Laws;  Family finds venomous snake slithering in their Christmas tree;  Grinch Actor Was Hired to Mess with Kids, & Trashes Whole House;  2 Guys Buys Lottery Ticket with Stolen Debit Card-Wins $5M...but Won't Get Any of It;  FL company offers 2 free homes as worker incentive;  Event featuring teachers crawling for cash prompts apology;  A Thief Tried to Flee the Cops in a Getaway Car That Was Up on Jacks;  1 in 3 Americans Can't Even Wipe Their Butt Right;  Guy Fires a Shotgun at 2 Teens Who Threw Water Balloons at His Truck;  Why You Shouldn’t Scare Your Cat Away From The Christmas Tree;  We’re Cussing More. Blame the #%$ Pandemic;  Top Signs You Picked a Terrible Christmas Present;  Moms Have Been Voted the Best Gift-Givers...Nephews Are the Worst.  And play along with "Pancho" as we take on more challenges in the weekly "Insane Games" to figure out if this is FAKE NEWS or FLORIDA: A Clearwater woman was arrested for taking off her pants wearing them as a mask while entering a Target….." The Toy Chest in Detroit, Michigan ….. STRIP CLUB or DAY CARE? Golden Steer in Forest Park, Illinois ….. STEAKHOUSE or GAY BAR? Ryan Driller ….. PORN STAR or WEATHERMAN? and Lake Hills Oasis in Somerset, Kentucky ….. GOLF COURSE or REHAB?
01:53:22
December 25, 2021
Internet Cologne, Potato Chip Vodka, & A Woman's Eyelid Violation
S2E37 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode!  Do you really want to smell like the WorldWide Web? Well, if you haven't landed a date, this may be for you. First there was French fry vodka & now Lay's thinks you can't just drink just one shot of their vodka. If you think high-tech means safety for your gadgets...think again. A woman was robbed of $24,000 when her boyfriend violated her EYELID to unlock her phone! This & more insane stupidity follows!  Family’s Rudolph Decoration Repeatedly Attacked By Real Deer;  Large spider interrupts Australian official’s news conference;  Sharks Have a Surprise New Predator–Leopard Seals;  Fountain-of-Youth Pill Could Be on Horizon After Scientists Dramatically Extended Longevity in Mice;  FL Woman Poisoned Boyfriend’s Lemonade to ‘Shut Him Up,’ Police Say;  Kraft Paid Out $20 to Not Make Christmas Cheesecakes;  Nike Getting in on the Metaverse, Buys Virtual Sneaker Company. And boy, do we ever have some great current events that happened over the past week that I put the "stupid spin" to! Some of this you just can't make up! Not to mention the 7 new "winners" who get the "Genius Award" for their stupendous stupidity!  This will be the LAST BONUS episode of 2021....and well, the LAST EPISODE of the year, too, for that matter. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", will do a special "spitball" episode bantering about the top stupid stories of 2021 that will drop on New Year's Day, Jan 1, 2022!  Have a Stupid Christmas & an Insane New Year! 
59:60
December 22, 2021
A Botox Camel Scandal, Raccoon Craziness, & A 1-Gonad Greek Statue
If you think the scandals in the USA are ridiculous, try living in Saudi Arabia with "botoxed" camels cheating in a beauty contest. Coons & old ladies are all the rage this week as one woman put one in a headlock while the other uses a dead one on her ex-boyfriend. "Pancho Guero", my Insane FL Nephew, tell of one very unhappy customer who bought a nude Greek statue of Hercules & Diomedes...but discovered one VERY obvious thing is MISSING. And we'll both dish out plenty of stupidity on these others "Insane but True" escapades...  A Court Ruled Walking from Your Bed to Your Desk Is Technically a "Commute";  Cadbury Passing Off Old Chocolate Bunnies as Chocolate Santas;  A Man Thought He Was Going to Die After Being Bit 26 Times by Otters;  A Couple Went Through a $100,000 Divorce...Then Decided to Stay Married;  A Random Guy Won an Election in PA After He & His Wife Wrote His Name in as a Goof;  1 in 5 People Have Made a Financial Decision Based on Their Horoscope;  Someone Baked an 850-lb. Weed Brownie for National Brownie Day;  48-Y/O Mom Stole Daughter's Identity to Go to College & Date Young Guys;  Waitress Fired After Customer Left a Huge Tip;  Woman Sang Anti-Mask Parody at a Co. Board Meeting;  A Driver Parked a Stolen Car at Walmart...in a Place Reserved for Police;  Semi driver charged with DUI after crashing, stripping naked on I-70 in PA;  Dr. Oz Is Outraged that the Philadelphia Inquirer Won't Call Him "Dr. Oz" During His Senate Campaign;  FL driver arrested for leading deputies on chase through golf course. And you can play along in the weekly "Insane Games" with "Pancho" to make your best guesses on FAKE NEWS OR FLORIDA; STEAKHOUSE OR GAY BAR; PORN STAR OR WEATHERMAN; STRIP CLUB OR DAYCARE; or GOLF COURSE OR REHAB
01:38:37
December 18, 2021
PA Poop, Waffle House Meth, & Milwaukee Christmas Tree Beer
S3E35 - Midweek BONUS Episode! ~  Pennsylvania may be the poop capital of the country...at least 2 cities in PA are! A lot of strange things go on at Waffle House restaurants...but a meth lab is not one of them until now. In the strange brew department: A brewery in Milwaukee has come up with a new concoction for your favorite suds...Tree Sproose Brew. And that's just the start of the stupidity... 3 Thieves Stole $13,000 Worth of Wigs & Are Still on the Run;  Woman Started Shooting When Wendy’s Drive-Thru Order Took Too Long;  Alligator Rescued From Frigid River …In Pennsylvania;  Thieves Caused $20,000 in Damage to a Jewelry Store...to Steal $200 Worth of Costume Jewelry;  2 arrested, meth found in frozen lasagna box at East TN home;  Mother Charged After Telling Daughter to Hit Player on Opposing Team. The week's current events are stupid enough without the spin I put on them but the "Insane Week In Review" is full of more examples plus 7 more winners are picked for the "Genius Awards"!
53:27
December 15, 2021
Going "Green" with Piggy-Poo, Nude "No-Nut November" Playboy Model, & Wedding Stupidity
Next time you smell a pig farm, think about conserving energy. It is a possibility. Only in FL would you find a nude Playboy model covered in paint & handing out nuts for "No-Nut November". If anything will go wrong in a wedding, it certainly did with 2 unfortunate brides. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", will also tell you about yet another "accident" involving large explosive objects being shoved up a man's "no-go hole"! And there's stupidity that tops these examples...  FL Guy Pulls a Flamethrower on His Neighbors During a Parking Dispute;  A Man Tried to Dodge a Vaccine by...Using a Fake Arm;  The Most Popular Christmas Present Hiding Spot Is...the 1st Place Your Kids Look/Top Fail Proof Ways to Keep Your Kids' Christmas Present Hidden;  Homeowner tries to smoke out snakes…& burns his house down;  A Woman's Face Got Burned During a Laser Facial...Because the Technician Was Arguing with Her Boyfriend;  School Lunch Lady Arrested for Allegedly Bringing Pot Cookies to School;  A Substitute Teacher Showed Up with a Karaoke Machine & Sang Britney;  Man, who probably drinks too much, coffee sues Folgers for not giving him enough coffee;  Guy on Crack Claims a "Big Snake" Invited Him into His Neighbor's House;  World's Loudest Burp Record Has Been Broken After More Than a Decade;  NJ Will Provide Abused Pets with Court-Appointed Lawyers;  PA Man Was Arrested After Headbutting Police Outside a Bowling Alley;  The Voice You Hear on the Radio Might Be a Robot;  New Trend: A Christmas Tree in Your Bedroom Will Improve Your Sex Life;  A Guy with a WW2 Artillery Shell Stuck Up His No-Go Hole Claimed He Fell on It.  More "Insane Games" to play along with "Pancho" this week, too!
01:38:11
December 11, 2021
Joel Osteen's Potty Cash, Go-Karting On the 101, & Senator Dr. Oz
S3E33 Midweek BONUS Episode -  Joel Osteen has more money than God...& it's literally coming out of the walls in the bathroom. If you're a YouTuber & want some serious likes, taking a go-kart onto the CA 101 Freeway is one way NOT to do it. When is a TV doctor a US Senator? When he's Dr. Oz. And there's more insane stupidity from this past week: Man exposes himself, urinates on items at Winnipeg grocery store;  Allergy sufferers have nearly 40% lower risk of COVID-19 infection;  Things Old People Do That Young People Are Sick Of;  The Secret Weapon to Prevent Holiday Weight Gain Is...Prunes;  A Woman Lit a Slot Machine on Fire After Losing, & Then Was Shot By Another Gambler;  Chipotle Is Selling Cilantro-Flavored Soap;  Toxins found in disposable plastic face masks may harm humans & the environment. Plus another week's worth of headlines & current events that are given the "stupid spin" as well as more "winners" of our "Genius Awards"!
01:00:17
December 08, 2021
Coke-Snorting Granny Gets A DUI, Breastfeeding Cats, & A Cussing Dancing Cactus
You come from a wild family when your grandma gets busted for a DUI & the cops discover straws for her cocaine! You might come from a strange family if your mom causes a scene on an airline trying to breastfeed a screeching cat. You might be incensed, like this one Polish granny, who heard the dancing cactus toy she bought for her grandchild start cussing & singing songs about doing cocaine! This is just some of what's been happening in my stupid world that you'll hear about from me & my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero"...along with these... This Lars Ulrich Toilet Will Haunt Your Dreams;  Science Has Proven It: All Cats Are Psychos;  A Guy Pulled a Gun at Little Caesars, Because His "Hot-N-Ready" Pizza Wasn't Hot & Ready;  Meet the ‘megaspider’: Fangs so powerful, it can bite through fingernails;  A FL doctor did laser surgery on a 91-y/o man’s eye—but on the wrong eye;  A Guy Was Sick of Waiting to Use a Machine at the Gym, so He Sat on Top of the Person Using It/Things You Should Never Do at the Gym;  A Drug Dealer Dumped Handfuls of Pot Out a Window While Cops Stood on the Sidewalk & Watched;  60+ People Stranded by Snow in English Pub with Oasis Cover Band;  Secret Santa & Wrapping Presents Worst Part of Christmas Season;  Man Survives Flight from Guatemala City to Miami Hiding in Landing Gear;  A Guy with a Tesla Face Tattoo Got Drunk and Flipped His Minivan;  A Man Stole ED Pills After His Insurance Wouldn't Cover Them;  Oh! Christmas tree? NJ Cardboard display is the talk of a town;  This Airport’s Secret Weapon Against Bird Strikes? Pigs;  11-Y/O "Prolific" Carjacker Arrested After Carjacking Police Sergeant’s Wife;  Man Stopped for Speeding Calls 911 to Falsely Report Robbery. Play along with "Pancho" in our weekly "Insane Game Show" this week as well!!
01:34:17
December 04, 2021
A Christmas-Wrapped House, Crypto-Constitution Purchase, & Non-Citizen Voting in NYC
S3E31 Midweek BONUS episode -  Willie Nelson's Christmas classic, "Pretty Paper" may be the appropriate theme for one house wrapped up in Christmas wrapping. Some techno-nerds dealing in crypto-currency nearly purchased the United States Constitution. Some stupid lawmakers in the Big Apple have voted to let non-Citizens vote in the local city elections. Think this is stupid, wait 'till you hear about these:  50% of Superstitious Fans Wear a Specific Jersey When Their Team Plays;  Dollar Tree Is About to Become Dollar-&-a-Quarter Tree;  Man cited for driving a motorized cooler without a license;  Did You Eat Your Thanksgiving Dinner in the Afternoon Like Ryan Seacrest, or Evening Like Kelly Ripa?;  Men Much More Likely to Not Lift a Finger on Thanksgiving;  AZ Duo Charged With Climbing Sacred Native American Site;  A Woman Stole Money from a Vet Hospital So She Could Feed Slot Machines While Sleeping.  There's the week's current events that are given a "stupid spin" plus 7 more awards given to the "Geniuses" with the most stupendous stupidity!
58:17
December 01, 2021
"Brown Friday" For Plumbers, Dog-humping For A FL Man, & Voicemail For Dogs
If you think surviving "Black Friday" after Thanksgiving is tough, you should be a plumber trying to survive "Brown Friday"! How does a FL Man react when his dog-humping is interrupted? He gets very, very, violent, which you will find out from my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero"! Researchers have found a way to ease separation anxiety in pets after their owners are brought back into work after months of working from home... Let the dog call you while you're at work. And the stupidity doesn't stop there... There are these:  This tree is considered the most dangerous in the world. And it’s in FL;  A Naked AR Man Found Upside Down Behind the Wheel of a Stolen Boat;  Food Vlogger Tells People to Water Down Ketchup to Make It Healthier;  A Lawyer Bragged He Can "Think Like a Criminal"; Got Busted for Drugs;  What is Something Nobody Warns People About Enough When It Comes to Having Kids?;  Wedding Photographer Claims She Can Tell When Marriage Is Doomed From Day 1;  AR Criminal Got Arrested After Making a T-Shirt Bragging About His Crime;  ‘Mike Is A Cheater’ Spray Painted Note Ends Up On The Wrong Car;  ESports Are Now More Popular with Teenage Boys Than Real Sports;  FL Homeowner Face HOA Fines for Putting Christmas Lights up Too Early;  A Drunk Driver Blamed Her Bad Driving on an Egg Roll;  A Car Hit a Bowling Ball...& Then Things Got Stupid;  FL Woman Tried to Escape From Jail...Using the Wire from Her Bra;  A Woman Meant to Take Ibuprofen...But Ate Her AirPod Instead;  Professor says “I Wasn’t Masturbating, I Was Trying Not to Pee”;  Another "Satisfied" Walmart Patron Gets Arrested. Plus our weekly round of "Insane Games" that you can play along with "Pancho"!
01:36:17
November 27, 2021
Defecating DoorDash Driver, Free Money on The Freeway, & Grandma Gets the Boot Over a Bad Hotel Review
S3E30 Midweek BONUS Feed! -  A Grandma & her grand-daughter are out of a place to stay when the hotel manager read her lame review online. And after making a delivery, a DoorDash Delivery Driver Dropped her DooDoo. Traffic jams are common in CA but not because of this. Plus, there's more stupid examples of humanity like these:  A Pair of American Tourists Broke into the Colosseum to Have a Beer;   Parents Sue School District Over Letting Students Change Name, Pronouns Without Parental Consent;   Staring at Screens Too Much Has Caused Half of Us to Skip Work or School/Signs Your Screen Time Is Out of Control;  Your Drunkest Family Member at Holiday Parties Will Be...Your Uncle;   A Cop Tried to Break Up a Bar Fight, & a Woman Bit His Ear Off;   SUV Slams into Home, Impales 2nd Floor with Traffic Sign.  And there's more headline hilarity with the "Insane Week In Review" as well as our weekly winners of the "Genius Awards" for stupendous stupidty!
58:17
November 24, 2021
Grandma Gone Wild, Dancing With Lions, & Free Sex For The Vaccinated
If you think you have a wild grandma, wait until you hear about one tequila swigging Granny who confronted the police who later found her swinging from an overpass above I-95. Or the woman who was tossing roses & serenading the big cats in the Bronx Zoo... And if you're still on the fence about getting vaxed for COVID, Belgium has an incentive from the local cathouses. My Insane FL Nephew will give you the lowdown on that as well as more stupid capers like...  Man Claims He Swapped His Wife’s ‘Aggressive’ Cat for Friendlier Look Alike While She Was Away, & Is Plagued With Guilt 6 Years Later;  A Customer's Soup Was Too Hot, so She Threw It in the Cashier's Face;  A Lawyer Was Arrested for Dropping His Pants in a Courthouse;  A Cow Escaped from a Farm, Went Down a Waterslide, & Won Its Freedom;  Over 40% of Kids Think Bacon Comes from...Plants;  A MA funeral home is being sued after a casket broke open during a burial & the body fell out;  Bishop Who Left Clergy for Erotica Writer Accused of Being ‘Possessed’;  Murderer Gets Caught...After He Confessed In a Game of "Truth or Dare";  Guy Got Busted in Carpool Lane w/Hat & Coat Draped Over Passenger Seat;  A Guy Threatened a TSA Agent, Got Naked, & Yelled "It's a Free Country";  Doorbell Camera Records CA Woman Giving Birth On Lawn;  Scientists say sex-crazed tourists are destroying Spanish sand dunes;  A Drunk Driver Blamed Her Bad Driving on an Egg Roll;  New Zealand Woman ‘Held Hostage By A Possum’;  Elon Musk slams Bernie Sanders over billionaire tax debate;  Man charged in scam missed court because he’s dead. Play along with Pancho as he figures out the difference between a "Porn Star or a Weatherman", a "Steakhouse" or a "Gay Bar", & other stupid comparisons in our weekly "Insane Game Show"!
01:35:11
November 20, 2021
Pop-Tart Butter-Toppers, Doggie-Doo DNA, & The Cambridge Blues Naked Calendar
S3E28 - Bonus Midweek Episode! -  What better way to fundraise than have naked college co-ed athletes pose naked in a calendar! What better way to eat a Pop-Tart than to slather all kinds of flavored BUTTER on it??? Or what better way to catch dog-walkers who don't deposit their doggie-doo in disposals than to track them down using doggie-doo-DNA? Sounds stupid? Not so fast! And there's more...  Teacher Claims Discrimination After His 'Proud Zionist' T-Shirt Banned, But BLM T-Shirts Allowed;  CNN Could Fire “Good Number” Of On-Air Talent, Staff In Major Shakeup;  A Study Found People Have Never Been More Afraid to Speak Their Mind/Things Everyone Is Too Scared to Say;  56% of Americans Believe Thanksgiving Is Ruined If There’s No Leftovers;  There's a French Fry-Flavored Vodka...Thanks to Arby's;  Guy Stole a Street Sweeper, Led Cops on a Low-Speed Chase, & Drove It into a River;  Prisoner Knocks Cellmate's Teeth Out Because He Wouldn't Stop Farting.  Plus more stupidity that's spun from the past week's newsmakers & the newest "Geniuses" in stupidy!
52:41
November 17, 2021
Biden Pops A Bean, A Marathon Runner With The Runs, & Dissecting Grandpa
The British love their biscuits with their tea...but President Biden gave Camilla Bowles a different kind of "biscuit" at the climate summit. A marathon runner with digestive issues was literally making runs to the potty. Plus, a family spotted their grandpa at a sideshow where he was the star of a dissection for an exclusive audience. "Pancho Guero", my Insane FL Nephew, will also tell you what happens when a cobra bites your manparts while you're sitting on the loo. And it's ain't pretty. There's even more stupidity with these stupid-but-true tales:  A Woman Pulls a Shotgun on a 7-y/o Trick-or-Treater;  Thanksgiving-Flavored Ice Cream...Made with Real Pieces of Turkey;  Naked man found in walls of NY theater...He was trapped for days;  Thieves Pass Out from a Gas Leak They Started While Stealing a Furnace;  Man Who Was Missing for 24 Years Returns Home...to Stab His Brother;  There Are Job Listings for Remote Positions, Where the Boss Can Make "Unplanned Visits";  A Guy Robs a Postal Worker at Gunpoint & Only Wanted Rubber Bands;  Drugs found stashed in Little Debbie box during AR traffic stop;  A 17-Lbs. Potato Named "Doug" May Have Set a New World Record;  Man Cuts Cables to Satellite Dishes, Knocking Out FL TV Stations;  A Guy Gave His Friend a Tattoo While Their Flight Was Landing;  The FL Man with FL Tattooed on His Face Is in Trouble Again;  Econo Lodge Guest Stabbed a Motel 6 Guest After Their Dogs Got into It;  Humans gave leprosy to armadillos–now they are giving it back to us;  Sleeping Naked Means A Better Night's Rest/Top Reasons to Sleep Naked. Play along with "Pancho" this week with more of our "Insane Game Show"!
01:30:49
November 13, 2021
Bald Eagle Street Fighting, A Taser Combustion, & Bathing With Pets
S3E26 - Midweek Bonus!! -  When police have to break up a street fight between 2 of our National Birds, it tells you a lot about the current state of this nation. When cops try to taser a trouble-maker that's confronting them, they're not expecting that person to burst into flames...but one did. We share a lot of our lives with our pets, but do you really want to share the tub with them? Some of you do. And that's not all of the stupidity you'll hear in this episode...  10 Everyday Stupid Things That Should Be Illegal;  Things That Are Universally Hated by Everyone on Earth;  Lots of Adorable Head-Tilting Might Mean Your Dog Is a Genius;  Break-Ups Are Harder on Men Than Women;  Judge Bans Elf on the Shelf in His County...as a Gift to "Tired Parents" Plus a round-up of all the week's headlines that have been given a stupid spin as well as this week's Genius Awards!
01:05:29
November 10, 2021
Kitchen Table Castration, A 20-Yr. Old Booger Bead, & A Man's Suspicious "Package"
First of all...what "real" man volunteers himself to be castrated? And even worse...what real man wants the deed done on a kitchen table? One woman had an epiphany when she threaded an ear wax camera up her nose & found a "jewel" of a discovery. And my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" has an unbelievable story about a NY man that has a unique "honor" which "aroused" the suspicion of the TSA when going through airport security! And there's even more stupidity in store from these 5-Star examples:  PETA Wants MLB to Change the “Bullpen” to the "Arm Barn”;  Ringling Bros. & Barnum & Bailey Circus Returns...without Animals;  MI Man w/Suspended License Dials Into Zoom Court Hearing While Driving;  IN City Tries Luring In New Residents with Stand-In Grandparenting Service;  A Drunk Driver Claimed His 4-y/o Son Was Behind the Wheel;  A Judge Granted Joint Custody...of a Dog;  High School Students Gave Teachers & The Principal Lap Dances at Homecoming "Man Pageant";  School Bans Mom From Volunteering After Finding Her On “OnlyFans”;  Drunk Driver Tries to Set Up His Ice Fishing Shack on an Unfrozen Lake;  Court May Decide If There’s Enough Strawberries in a Strawberry Pop-Tart;  Rare ‘flesh-eating’ STD on the rise in UK, doctor warns;  Criminal in a Ricky Bobby Costume Tries to Flee on a Bike with 2 Flat Tires;  The Average American Spends More Than 6 Days a Year Washing Dishes;  VA woman sentenced for ‘staggering’ $32M coupon scam;  Is it normal to fart in yoga class? Play along with "Pancho" in our weekly "Insane Game Show" to guess if it's a "Steakhouse or Gay Bar", a "Porn Star or Weatherman", & "Golf Course or Rehab"!
01:50:59
November 06, 2021
Dad/Son Shoot-Outs, Dad-Bod Tee-Shirts, & Touchy-Feelie Meta Robots
S3E24 - Midweek Bonus!!  Plenty of daddy issues in this episode with shots fired over chicken & over guitar playing! And some daddy-body issues for guys who are hiding the battle of the bulge! And "Meta Mark" Zuckerberg wants to help machines learn all about the human experience of "touch & feel"... (???) Plus other truths that are stranger than fiction...like:  Creepy or Romantic? A Man Asked a Woman Out, After Getting Her Number from Her Dog's Collar;  Does It Feel Like Some People Bring Out the Worst in You?;  A Patient Waited 7 Hours in the ER, Never Got Treated, & Still Owes $700;  A Pizza-Loving Car Burglar Was Caught "Marinara-Handed";  Man dies during bull-running event in Spanish city of Onda;  Worst Sick Day Excuse Ever? A Guy Skipped Work Because He Didn't Have Any Clean Socks. Plenty of news from the past week that will get the "Stupid Spin" & more stupendous stupidity that is christened with the "Genius Award"!
01:02:60
November 03, 2021
A Shrub That Gives You "The Finger", Sexy Scottish Accents, & A Blooming Penis Plant
If you really want to tick off your neighbors, a Brit have found the best way to do it. In the beginning, the LORD made the SCOTS just a "wee bit" better...and gave them the sexiest accent in the UK! You may be your family's "flower child" as the "blooming idiot", but my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" found a blooming "penis plant" is what really smells to high heaven...REALLY! And there's stupidity galore with these prime examples...  Americans Are Partly The Cause of America's Supply Chain Crisis;  FL man will use $1M lottery winnings to upgrade to electric toothbrush;  Man Admits to Drunkenly Shutting Down KS Water System;  Museum's TikTok Banned for Posting Nudes So They Launch an OnlyFans;  The Average Person Has Saved 252 Hours by Not Commuting During the Pandemic/Top Ways to be More Productive While Working from Home;  The Largest Candy Corn Factory Has Been Hacked;  CA school tells parents their kids must eat lunch in the rain due to COVID;  Bud Light Is Selling an Eggnog Hard Seltzer for the Holidays;  Mother-Of-2 Breastfeeds Her Fiancé Twice A Week;  A Burglar Fled into the Woods, Got Lost, & Had to Call 911 to Rescue Him;  Woman says man smashed her fence, window but police couldn’t charge him because he was ‘too drunk’;  A Guy Was Pulled Over for Driving While Playing a Flute With Both Hands;  Guy Finds Loophole in Amusement Park's Annual Pass, Gets Free Meals Every Day for a Year;  Pop-Up Restaurant Karen’s Diner Opens With ‘Rude Staff & Poor Service’;  A Missing Hiker Didn't Answer Their Phone, Because They Thought It Was a Scammer;  A Woman Threw Tacos at Her Mom's Head & Got Arrested for Battery. Play along with "Pancho" in another round of the "Insane Game Show" to decide if it's a "Porn Star or a Weatherman", a "Steakhouse or a Gay Bar", a "Golf Course or a Rehab", & other surprises!
01:50:01
October 30, 2021
A Pittsburgh Pun'kin Head, Sour Patch Popcorn, & 3/9 Pound Burger Deal
S3E22 Midweek BONUS!  You know it's October when stupid people assault others with pumpkins. With all the flavors being used to "season" popcorn, do we really need Sour Patch Kids? When does an advertising flop for A&W Restaurants in the 1980's work best? When it's resurrected in the 2020's! And there's more stupid ideas played out in this bonus episode like:  Kids Playing ‘Squid Game’ On Playground With Hitting & Kicking;  Experts: You Should Never Have Ice In Your Drinks In Pubs & Restaurants;  A Disgruntled Employee Got 6 Months for Releasing Rats at Work;  Police Arrested a Woman Who Stole a Service Dog at a Walmart;  Fisher-Price's Iconic Toy Telephone Can Now Make Real Phone Calls/Top Signs Your Child is Addicted to Technology;  A Man Used Finger Guns to Steal Napkins from a Waffle House;  A Guy Got Pulled Over, Then Fled on Foot...with a Chocolate Cream Pie.  And as usual, I'll put the stupid spin on the past week's headlines in the "INSANE Week In Review" as well as award 7 more "geniuses" with their stupendous stupidity!
01:01:57
October 27, 2021
Scalp Popping & Kink Tests On Tic-Tok, A School District Is "Rickrolled", & A Bottle Opener Fails As A Sex Toy
Tik-Tok is rapidly becoming the #1 source for all things stupid. Like how to separate your scalp from your skull & finding out how kinky your are so the Chinese can steal more of your privacy information. But if you're into "kinky", I don't recommend using a bottle opener like one stupid Thailander did. But if you're going to prank your school, go big or go home (as you'll find out from my "Insane FL Nephew", "Pancho Guero"...where one senior in Chicago went real big & rickrolled his entire school district...and STILL graduated. And there's even more stupidity to commemorate "Stupid Day" that happened over this past week: There Could Be a "Gilligan's Island" Movie & the Castaways Eat Each Other;  ‘Squid Game’ Is Causing Sales Of White Vans To Spike 7,800%;  Parents Can Hire Wrinkles The Clown To ‘Terrify Misbehaving Children’;  Nearly 90 Tangled Rattlesnakes Removed From Beneath Woman’s House;  Ft. Lauderdale Residents fear roosters are being stolen for cockfighting;  You Know Those Scary Robot Dogs? Now They've Got Guns;  3 Carjackers Were Thwarted by an MMA Fighter...a Manual Transmission...& a K9 Officer;  MI house where teen violently murdered his mom & sisters features chilling Halloween display;  37% of Men Over 30 Will Gain Weight During Football Season/Reasons Your Guy's a Keeper (Even with Belly Fat);  Legoland announce Peppa Pig Theme Park's opening date, ticket pricing;  Pubs Are Spraying Their Toilets With an 'Anti-Cocaine' Spray;  Waffle House Waitress Pulls Gun on Guy for Complaining About Eggs;  Thief Needs Money for Meth To See His Imaginary Girlfriend Again;  Trail Cam Caught Man’s Illicit Horseplay. Play along with our "Insane Games" with "Pancho" to determine if it's a "Porn Star or a Weatherman", a "Strip Club" or a "Day Care" & more!
01:29:34
October 23, 2021
Stupidity Is Funnier When You're Naked, "Testicle Baths", & Offensive Halloween Costumes
S3E20 Midweek BONUS Episode!  There's more naked stupidity for the BONUS episode featuring a naked woman roaming an airport, a naked woman streaking through an 8th Grade football practice, a realtor in L.A. who's selling a house by selling his modesty, & a man being treated in the back of an ambulance who not just got naked but put on a "show" for the medics treating him! If you're going to get naked, however, watch out for a new breed of mosquito that has a penchant for humans...you don't want to be an "all you can eat" bar for these little "buggers". Imaging going trick-or-treating to a house made of GRAVESTONES? There's a druggie who told cops he needed meth so he can see his "imaginary girlfriend, 'Emma'". And If you also are looking for a trendy new way at birth control, try out the new ultra-sonic "testicle bath". But if you're going to try out a trendy new Halloween costume, make sure you don't offend anyone in the process. And there's also a full slate of stupid news with the "Insane Week In Review" & our 7 stupendous stupid saps who have been given the "Genius Award" fo their stupidity! This should hold you over until the weekend feed coming this weekend!
55:40
October 20, 2021
Profanatory Uses For Candy Corn & Mayo, Naked Stupidity, & A "Surprise" Found In Dog Puke
You'll get an extra dose of stupidity from naked people in this episode...in new & creative ways! You'll also find out how to gag yourself over how people are perverting brats & coffee! And my Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" is fresh off of a vacation in NC to tell you about one convulsing canine barfed up something embarrassing at the vet--and other unbelievable stupidity. And that's not the half of it. There's some 5-Star Stupidity coming your way...  Rooster attacks a man on a street in Queens, NY;  "Fart-Repelling" Bed Sheets Are Now Something You Can Buy;  76% of Americans Say Their #1 Digestive Issue Is Constant Farting;  FL Man Arrested for Catcalling Women & Pleasuring Himself While Driving;  A Guy Caught Pleasuring Himself in His Car Told Cops He Was "Takin' Care of Business";  Wendy’s Manager Charged for Throwing Hot Oil Complaining Customer;  Couple Opens Their Suitcase at Airport...Finds Their Dog Hiding Inside;  A Guy Called 911 Because He Was Stuck in Traffic and Needed to Pee;  90-Y/O Man Punches Neighbor in a Classic "Get Off My Lawn" Dispute;  CA man sues psychic who said she could remove witch's curse from ex;  A Mailman Wouldn't Stop Peeing on a Customer's Mailbox;  A Man Got an Insurance Payout After a Centipede Bit His Junk;  2 Drunk People Broke into a Water Park, Went Down a Closed-Off Slide, & Shattered Their Ankles…Now They’re SUING.  Test your skill with "Pancho" in this week's "Insane Game Show" & see if you can tell the difference between a "Porn Star or a Weatherman", a "Strip Club or a Daycare", or a "Steakhouse or a Gay Bar"!
01:35:48
October 16, 2021