ESL RPG

Well, not really. Although there is a comb involved. Oh, and wolves! Gonna fight us some wolves. While half the group is asleep.

Oh well.

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On this episode, our characters go around after the events of last game's... interesting end, and try to collect money for jobs they were asked to do. Some successfully, some less successfully, some money just because, and some new jobs that we promise, will totally pay money.

Wait, what is Barfy doing?!?!

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What happens when an attorney gets confused by the appearance of a lizard? How helpful is an incubus too young to seduce? What were the charges?

Well, you don't get ALL that information, but you can find some of it in this, the second and final preview episode for the Devil's Advocate module!

For the full recording now, and the working documents for our module when we finish, check out our Patreon here:

Spoilers of the good kind! This episode is a preview of a One-Shot we are writing and playtesting that you may play soon-ish!
Join our group, as they play lawyers in the Waterdeep law office of Kroaner, Shamil, and Liadon! Listen as they take their first client, a warlock who wants to keep his soul! Can they argue the case?

For the full recording now, and the working documents for our module when we finish, check out our Patreon here:

Welcome to Bloopers, where all our naughty words, questionable things, and stuff we sing goes. Possibly not safe for work, potentially not safe for people who hate rules lawyers.

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Our heroes finish the fight with some conversation, talking to a goblin shaman and a golem (that can't actually talk, and is fine with just going off to do their own thing.) Then... Ok, they got completely distracted by some drawings, before running into something bad.

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It has been a long time! Our heroes explore the cave looking for a dragon, find some definitely not-dragon things, and fight!

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What it says in the title! Do not listen around small children or bosses. Now come here how bad my Spanish really is!

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Our heroes clear out the rest of the Redbrand hideout, and take what they can from the area before interrogating those left alive. Those left alive include a crippled wizard, a Goblin named Droop, and...

Real talk, traumatic brain injury is a very serious medical condition, and not a great way to get people to "just sleep" until you need to wake them up. Poor Johnny, apart from the concussion, well... he will never be the same again.

Oh, and his knee is really messed up too.

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So a lot of things happen here. Our players try very hard to violently remove manacles without accidentally removing hands. A boss fight is anticlimactic. Non-lethal divine amputation.

Oh, and an epic battle with a rat!

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Warning, for non-Spanish speakers, do not repeat anything Barfy says. For Spanish speakers... maybe use headphones? And prepare for some bad language.

This episode, traps are the pits, skeletons yield to boney persuasion, heads roll, prisoners are escorted in chains... A lot of stuff happens.

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Our players find their rogue too hungover to join, one of their goblin prisoners secretly hiding sneaky tools, and themselves going under a mansion to find someone with a stick of silicates.

Oh, and the language of Goblins is now Spanish for this game.

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Our heroes fight for their lives, and survive by the skin of their teeth. They then interrogate a... spider. Then, Master Theologian Arry has to explain why it is not a good idea to send giant spiders off evangelizing.

Yes. Really.

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In a place as dark as night.
Fighting what? Giant bugs.
With poison fangs and stabby legs.

Ok, in all seriousness, they sneak, then charge, then fight, then something very unexpected happens.

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In this episode, the healers charge! And soon discover one of Merphie's Multiple Mandates.

No, seriously, it gets crazy. Like, really crazy. Everyone has fun with it, but thinks maybe there would have been less crazy ways to deal with it.

Oh, and Sildar is still toothless!

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Our players first get a history lesson on Phandelver, then find some other information by asking around.

They meet a boy named Carp who doesn't drink. Then they meet a voice that asks for meat.

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This time, our players decide information is best, so they... persuade information out of their captured Redbrand. With blood.
They also encounter the town Mayor, Quimbey Kennedy (Yes, really). Then meet up with a Mr. Edermath to try and get some more information.

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In this episode, our character are introduced to a shady individual with some money for buying things they have, a job for them to do, and some interesting, insinuative, and possibly insulting things to say. Advice too.

And there is a fight in the street with some ruffians. That leads to repeated stabbing and possible torture futures.

Tune in later for when people continue their shopping!

Oh, and no direct cursing, but some mildly dirty implications. I promise we actually cut out the worst of it.

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This time, our heroes arrive in Phandalin. They immediately choose to get a street urchin guided tour of town to go around selling off their loot, completing their quests, and buying new weapons.

Nobody mentioned the goblins coming with them, but they did bring up the ears they carry.... a lot....

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Look! It's Bloopers! Where we say all the bad stuff we can't include in the normal podcast!

Or the philosophical discussions.

Or the rules lawyering.

Or... other stuff....

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So those things that should not be? Dinosaurs. They were dinosaurs. One gets mocked to death.

Later, an interesting encounter with some people with a very stony demeanor.

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Our heroes make it to the base of Copper Mountain, learn why it is called Copper Mountain, meet some nice people named Widow and Bachelor, who tell them about a dragon named Bob.

They also hear about some Goliaths engaging in a bad idea, chase after them, and discover signs of a thing that should not be.

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Here are all the bloopers from the latest Jeff's Door game! And some of it is just rules lawyering and philosophy!

Yes, that is the reason it is so long. Lots of lawyering and philosophy.

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Our party somehow finish the fight between the hunters and the dryad! Apparently, Arry has the best words? Anyway, they also venture deeper into the woods, and hear the tale of a man who lost a sword. Oh, his brother. He's lost too.

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In this episode, negotiations between the hunters, the dryad, and the group break down to fighting. It goes... long and badly... with a lot of down and up and down and up.

And it doesn't actually end this episode! So, tune in for the end!

By the way, new thank yous for the Patrons!

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In this episode, we continue the adventures of Meg Ryan, in which Meg has a possibly prophetic dream, Arry makes pancakes, everyone makes progress on the road, they make lunch in a town that vaguely tolerates them, and they meet a dryad and hunter who don't tolerate each other at all.

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In this episode, combat fails to end quickly, in no small part because of quickly-moving shoes, and conversations get confused.

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Our heroes leave on their quest to take some bandit scalps, and meet an interesting little man along the way.

Along the way, they scramble to blend in and be accepted by the bandits.

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We return to Jeff's Door, this game introducing a new Player!

Scott joins us playing as Sturm, a bear-loving barbarian!

Join us next time for our other new player, Oleg!

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In this episode, more combat happens, more rolls are fumbled, more creative ways to use spellcasters are found, Elton Beerbottle imitates Elton John, some old people are found, "totally-not-slavery" begins, and our heroes make their way finally to Phandalin!  Carrying all the stuff looted from the caves. Just all of it.

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In this episode, medics tank, choking fails, a shirt is holey, a puppy is bad, and... ok, that is totally not a lion riding a seal. I promise.

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In this episode, our heroes continue after a rest to heal up. They get to the cave where their friends were taken to, and try to sneak in. Sometimes it works. Sometimes... Well, just listen.

And as a warning, dead goblins become puppy chow.

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In this episode, we start a new adventure, following the Lost Mines of Phandelver module from the Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition Starter Set!

Our recording quality at the start is... not great. It will get better later, but for now, just bear with us. We were trying new settings in recording that will never be repeated.

Anyway, join our party as Kloog, Eleanor, Theodore, Lady Katrina Sophia Elizabeth Pomodora, and Elton venture off in the exciting world of... guarding wagons full of stuff!

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Not Safe for Work, but who needed telling?

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In this episode, we declare a winner, after many horrible combinations.

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We keep playing Cards Against Humanity!

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WARNING!!! Not safe for work. Anyway, I have said enough, please enjoy!

Here we cover what games you can play through the internet, and what programs to use to do that.
This is a general overview. We will be doing other videos for detailed guides of how to use those programs.

By the way, it's a video too!
Find it here:

https://youtu.be/3IqXSBM-YO4

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In this episode, we cover a lot of the tools you need to play tabletop games online. We will cover your low-tech, hardware, and software tools you need to find your students/teachers/family/friends/highly-intelligent-pets/whatever, organize games together, and connect so you can play games. Whether to socialize while you are stuck at home, or to study or practice languages, you can use these tools!  

By the way, it's a video too!
Find it here: 

Our characters continue their trip with some mushroom soup.

Things get normal for our players, which is not normal for our characters.

Heads up, next will be a bit of a jump in time! Our backlog will still be a major thing we will work on, but following this recording, we will get into a Quarantine Special, where we test all kinds of tools and games for people learning or practicing from in your home. So for all of you stuck not going anywhere, stick with us.

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Here is our first episode on the new recording software!

Our heroes return going right into a fight. They fight the hobgoblin, and our players quickly forget why they were fighting.

So, they decide to do a timejump the next time we play this game, and instead go on a non sequitur adventure. Involving mushrooms.

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You've been warned, now enjoy!

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Our players talk about what they like and don't like with this game!

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Our bears go on another heist, meet some competition, and BAMBOO!!!! FINALLY!!!!!

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Sorry for the late upload, let's jump right in.

Our group of (mostly) bears goes to hit a truck convoy, meets up with a character who will return again, and find the honey.

After that, it's a little fuzzy. And bloody. Accidental mass murder, ankle-deep people juice, and truck drivers singing Britney Spears are all involved. As are conversations between bears and humans.

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This time we try a new game, Honey Heist, by Grant Howitt. In this episode, we introduce the rules, create characters, and plan the first heist.

And yes, someone really says that.

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