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Facade Project

Facade Project

By Facade Project
The contest: Have a biography that is as impressive as possible, while requiring the least possible work to get there. (Doctor, race car driver, #1 best-selling author, pig caller, etc.)

The rules: Each week, we pick something we want to add to our bios. We can get there however we want, as long as we meet the minimum requirements.

We will go to the end of the Earth and back to win (as long as it's not too much work).
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Currently playing episode

#4 - Ripped Martian Notary Squad

Facade Project

#4 - Ripped Martian Notary Squad

Facade Project

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#9 - River: VP of Wires, Non-Degreed High School Graduate
How can you make a functional airplane out of stained second-hand cotton t-shirts? And how the hell do swings work, anyway? River, Non-Degreed High School Graduate and Vice President of Wires at DarkAero, tells us the answers, as well as all of the DarkAero trade secrets. Don't tell anyone! Thanks bud. Also one of us gets the Nudist title. Finally. DarkAero YouTube DarkAero Instagram DarkAero Webzone Lego Bugatti | YouTube
55:44
June 15, 2021
#8 - Nina: Psychic, Astrologer, Fine Art Dealer
We got a HECKton of titles this week, babyy! These titles are coming at you even faster than girls dump me! Ha ha! I'm lonely!  Our psychic guest Nina talks with us about one-eyed spirit cats and Finnish kids jumping over swords. Austin gives everyone nightmares. Kevin explores some holes, then cries as another guest tells him he hasn't earned a title. And Nick uses astrology to become The Most Powerful Boi.  The titles earned this week: ASMRtist, Spelunker, Food Photographer, Frail, Hipster.  Send us your ideas and accomplishments at info@facadeproject.com!
01:14:46
May 2, 2021
#7 - Mallory: Artist, Car Crasher, Fighter
Have you ever wanted to visit ten thousand holes? Nick certainly has, and most definitely will. Our guest Mallory fills us in on what art is, how to save cats that don't actually need saving, and why Kevin is an absolute failure yet again. https://www.instagram.com/loch.rantula/ https://www.instagram.com/draws.of.colors/
01:18:39
March 31, 2021
#6 - Three Mimes Ask: Are We We?
Nick writes Kevin to his untimely demise, Austin commits unspeakable atrocities using empty milk jugs, and we figure out the horrors you have to endure in order to become a mime. Hey Netflix: please respond to our thousands of emails, thanks. Wait But Why Conviction vs Knowledge Graph: https://twitter.com/waitbutwhy/status/1269777477615960064?s=20 Nick's Facade Project Graph: https://i.imgur.com/iQy2HJe.png Chronologling Austin's adventures sleeping on the floor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdRpSJYQ0ts
01:09:34
February 14, 2021
#5 - Teddy Roosevelt’s Milk Dream
Nick and his beautiful building need ATTENTION, Kevin hacks into the White house with his onlyFans - I mean onlyTimers - and we figure out how to own 100% of money in the world. “The Earth is flat and you shouldn’t eat cheese anymore.” - Kevin Kevin’s video: https://youtu.be/uLOZjjE3jyg Austin videos: https://youtu.be/0wNfDkZgiyE, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgfJf94e5bth0eKrYZeYHlQ/videos Nick's art: https://i.imgur.com/88n2buK.png
01:22:42
February 7, 2021
#4 - Ripped Martian Notary Squad
This week on the podcast, Kevin hides from the ripped Notary Police, Austin drinks WAY too much milk, and Nick whips out his giant paintbrush and paints us like his Martian girls. The scandalous adventures never end. Nick’s art: https://youtu.be/vGQmpIq2FS4 Tim Ferriss telling you to drink a gallon of milk a day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLlq86-qJqM&t=199 Endowment Effect: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endowment_effect
01:17:47
January 11, 2021
#3 - Featuring Carlos, Actual YouTuber and Published Researcher
How can we become legit YouTubers and published researchers - as quickly and effortlessly as possible? Special guest Carlos is a published researcher and YouTuber (even if he won't admit it), and he tells us how to accomplish all our dreams of achieving questionable fame. Featuring: Reverend Nick making inspiringly bad bread puns with mindful thots, Austin getting insta-rejected, and Kevin timing his elbow butt. And we all generally lower the bar. MindfulThinks: https://www.youtube.com/c/MindfulThinks/featured Austin's art: https://imgur.com/Rmy26Ai Nick's art: https://imgur.com/W1wZty9 Austin's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgfJf94e5bth0eKrYZeYHlQ Lumberjack video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkC6Cme6Kds
01:15:59
December 23, 2020
#2 - Ordained Ministers
"Now repeat after me: I take you as my lawfully wedded husband. I take you with all your strengths and your many, many faults, and I offer my faults to you, but I'm keeping my strengths for me and my motorcycle gang. I will stick with you forever through health and minor sickness, as long as you don't get me sick. 'Til death or a bad haircut do us part." The fellas are ordained ministers now—what did it take?? Spoiler, not much. Some other topics: Sexy lumberjack/blacksmith calendars, raiding on the open seas, patenting a stick. Want to submit ideas? Email us at ideas@facadeproject.com with anything you think would be impressive and/or hilarious.
01:00:55
December 14, 2020
#1 - The Facade Project
The contest: Have a biography that is as impressive as possible, while requiring the least possible work to get there. (Doctor, race car driver, #1 best-selling author, etc.) The rules: Each week, we pick something we want to add to our bios. We can get there however we want, as long as we meet the requirements set for that bio item. We will go to the end of the Earth and back to win (as long as it's not too much work).
01:19:39
December 5, 2020