F*ckShakespeare

Drunk Shakespeare.

Hard cider and a drink called a blueberry bramble.

Questions about my kingdom for a horse. Some Welsh history. Snorts. Giggles. And some darn fine drunk reading.

In which Diana begins to sing from West Side Story, DIANA has a soapbox (!!!!!), Erin dissects a line, the King is NOT being served, and Richard and Richmond have some spectral visitors.

Brush up your Shakespeare, start learning him now...

Richard is starting to LOSE it. Why is Derby Derby now? Here an Elizabeth, there an Elizabeth. The Rat and The Cat are back. And a whole bunch of messengers - one with a black eye and a fat purse.

Oh Ladies, Oh Richard, Oh Elizabeth. So much wailing, so much banter, so much telling of things that are meant to persuade.

And a reference to Singing in the Rain because what would Fuck Shakespeare be without some kind of musical SOMETHING?

What begins as a lovely visit to two sweet boys turns into that darn Duchess of York and Queen Elizabeth one-upping each other AGAIN.

Richard ascends. He and Buckingham have some awkward moments. And the plot thickens...

What do the Everly Brothers, Donald Trump, Richard 3, and strawberries have in common?

In which brothers are reunited, uncles are teased, asides are made, intents are misinterpreted, and Diana and I talk about food that isn't food.

In which Willie lets us know how the groundlings view the shenanigans of the ass-cushions. 3 differing opinions are offered. Next, we meet young Richard of York. Whippersnapper. And the Duchess continues to be a dick about Dick.

Did you know there was an ice age that ended as recently as 1850? I had no f*ckin' idea! (This is Diana going rogue, btw)

In this wildcard episode I tell you about a series of events in England during Shakespeare's time called the Frost Faires. They were how the Early Modern people (Shakespeare's peeps) made the most of their own climate disasters. My classmates and I set up a present day Frost Faire and here's a bit o what I learned during that process as well as some fun facts about Yew trees (which are really fucking cool!).

In which Boy and Girl make their stage debut, mourning becomes a competition, the Dutchess talks about her tits, and Buckingham inadvertently gives Tricky Dicky a way to get his plan underway.

Forcing people to play nice rarely works, just ask King Edward. Richard is a great actor and Edward sounds like an owl. Why?

Because, Erin and Diana tie Richard III to The Sound of Music. That's why.

A pagan dream that should have been a warning. Conversation about status, and honor, and morals, OH MY.

2 murderers, who may or may not be villains, pay a visit.

What is a malmsey butt? And how does George, Duke of Clarence, end up in relation to one?

And a 'word cloud' from Erin (or perhaps a flailing around with concepts that scratched the brain but never fully formed).

In which we meet a bunch of the gang. Infighting. Curses. Lying. And Crying.

Queen Margaret is a BADASS and the rest of those fools should listen up.

How do the Brady Bunch and The Sneetches relate to Richard III? You'll just have to have a listen.

What does Ferdinand the Bull have to do with The Tragedy of Richard the Third? Erin tells you all about it in this episode full of witty repartee, sexual inuendo, remarkable changes, a very odd wooing, and burying someone upside down.

What happens when someone discovers their power?

AAAAAAND...

They're off!

The War of the Roses, Lancasters/Lanisters and Yorks/Starks, Machiavelli, Hag and Dutchess - Queen and Lady, Animal Names, Burial in a Parking Lot and much, much more.

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this sun of York.

The Dubious Conclusion.

All the rancidity exposed. The Duke is a dookey. Mariana is on her knees (she might end up frozen solid like that). Isabella joins her on HER knees. Angelo is prepared for death. Reprieve. Objection! Lucio is hoisted on his own petard (that's from Hamlet). All is forgiven and the Duke is just gross (but Isabella is kinda gross too). What did anyone learn? What will Vienna be like after all this? WHO CAN SAY (said like Bubble).

The Duke plots and plans. The ladies follow directions. Some friar named Penis gets involved and we are off to the races!

A few short scenes and the intro to the whopper at the end.

Pompey meets some old friends. We meet Barnardine (Not today Satan). A pirate saves the day. The Duke continues his dooky-ness. And Lucio can't keep his mouth shut.

Also... Erin desperately tries to make our two different recording spaces and levels and all the stuff I don't understand sound more in line. It just sounds muddy but...sorry!!!

Meet Marianna of the moated grange. She's the key to the bed-trick plan that will seal Angelo's fate. Or will it? In the second scene the Duke finds out that his little schemes ain't working quite as well as he had hoped they would. Because, you know, HUMANS! They don't behave according to prescription. That's what makes them fun.

The Duke/Friar meets the populace and sees that his little experiment ain't going so well. He also hears some interesting things about himself.

Then he has a magic speech (we discuss the form of it if you're interested) and casts a spell for the conclusion of his fuckery. How will it go? Stay tuned.

Brothers and sisters with their obscure nuances, eh? Act 3: Sc 1 is the crux of the play where we get to really see what it's all about. Or do we? Some kind of trauma happened back there in the dark and dirty past in this family. The word 'incest' is not one that you can ignore or ascribe some other meaning to.

Hear what we think and let us know what YOU think is going on there.

Get ready for Isabella v. Angelo Part 2! This time there are no witnesses, and you know that won't go well... It's a deadly and sexy game they're playing. Will there be any winners?

“The very roles of nun and judge have deep roots in classical pornography... " Listen as Isabella and Angelo go toe-to-toe in their exciting first meeting. It's a sexy power struggle and we'll map out the blow by blow... so to speak. You better believe Angelo's thinking about that.

Enter the comic relief! Meet Constable Elbow and his crew of malefactors. He's one of the reasons justice doesn't really get done properly in Vienna even though he keeps trying.

Also we learned some new Elizabethan slang - stewed prunes = nutsack. You're welcome.

The word 'nun' is Elizabethan slang for 'whore,' so you can see where there might be some confusion ahead. Isabella is a novice and hoping to be inducted into the Order of St. Clare, an extremely strict sect of nuns. She needs to be shut away from the world, for reasons we may discover as we go along. But just before she can take those vows Lucio comes to enlist her aid in speaking to Angelo on behalf of her brother who's been condemned to death for fucking. Rough times.

Debauchery, Lechery, and Perjury! Oh my! Welcome to Vienna, a city full of whores, pimps, fornicators, liars, drunkards and basically our favorite kinds of folks! Measure for Measure is said to be Shakespeare's most rancid play. What a send-up! We hope you're intrigued. Come on along for this wild ride.

There will be 3 people left standing at the end - who will they be? Not Lear, ya know, cuz he's OLD.

On the eve of battle between France and England there is a reunion, but also suspicion and secret plans afoot. Lear and Cordelia finally find each other again and Lear accepts that he is just a doddering old man. Edmund seeks the audience's advice on which sister he should settle down with, and we bid farewell to Gloucester.

Gloucester and Lear finally come together and we see what these mirror men have learned over the course of their rocky voyages. Gloucester tries to end it all, but Edgar tricks him out of that ending, and just when they think all is well they encounter the mad king. He has a lot to say about the state of the world as he left it.

Five short scenes that set the stage for the big wrap up. Everyone's heading for Dover to take a leap of faith.

Holy popping eyeballs, Batman!! The shit truly hits ye olde fan here. Lear slides into that dark hole of madness, imagining his daughters being tortured in hell. And Gloucester learns a very hard lesson - yer baby boys ain't all who they seem to be... Rough times in Britain.

WARNING: We discuss and discredit organized religion. Sorry not sorry.

Lear hits rock bottom. His meagre followers try to get him some shelter from the storm, only to be encountered with a wild, naked heath-man. Remember Edgar, that mild-mannered nobody from the first act? He's baaack and doing his best to repel all visitors to his disgusting abode. But Lear is fascinated with him and will not hear of being parted from him. Such are the strange twists and turns that life takes.

"Blow winds, and crack your cheeks!" Sounds painful. It is. There are two old men here who have a great deal to learn about perception and trust before this thing is done. With spies in every household and armies on the march it's a dangerous world for one diminished king and everyone loyal to him.

Lear finds his man in the stocks and finally has to face what his world has become. It ain't pretty. He ain't taking it well either. He might be having some mini strokes. He definitely calls his children bastards. That ain't good. A storm's a brewin'!

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Best. Fucking. Insult. Speech. Ever!!!

A little background on messengers and what their responsibilities were - not what you think. Oswald represents Goneril and Kent represents Lear, and never the twain shall meet. Well, they meet, but it does NOT go well.

Then we have a discussion about the treatment of the insane back in the day. Also not ideal.

Edmund is a natural child because it's totally natural for horny old goatish men to drop trow and have at it with the serving wenches outside the kitchen door. Is to any wonder he's a little pissed?? Two killer speeches in this scene let you know exactly what's up with him!

With Erin away being busy and important, Diana is left to her own devices and... this happened. A collection of useful resource information peppered about with rude shit as usual. If you hang in there you'll get some great insight into where to find invaluable nuggets that will make you sound like a savvy Shakespeare nerd without much effort. You're welcome!

TEACHERS: Pay attention!! Good classroom reference materials.

Want more fun? Check out our website: fckshakespeare.com

Have a compliment or a complaint? Tweet at us, if you must: @fckshakespod

See weird pix and more info on episodes on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fckshakespeare/

And if you are inclined to be a patron like Queen Elizabeth, you can support this podcast for as little as 99¢/month. Click the link below! Think of it like throwing money in the virtual hat while we crazy players do our little song and dance here. We thank you! (imagine us bowing now)

The Mob rules! And it gets nasty. Especially for poor Cinna the Poet. After all, when chaos reigns, art is the first thing to go. Once Caesar is killed all of Rome has to deal with the aftermath, and with power up for grabs there are seismic shifts in personalities. Antony, for one, shows himself to be quite the douche. Such a shame. He had such promise with that pretty speech from the last scene...

Want more fun? Check out our website: fckshakespeare.com

Have a compliment or a complaint? Tweet at us, if you must: @fckshakespod

See weird pix and more info on episodes on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fckshakespeare/

And if you are inclined to be a patron like Queen Elizabeth, you can support this podcast for as little as 99¢/month. Click the link below! Think of it like throwing money in the virtual hat while we crazy players do our little song and dance here. We thank you! (imagine us bowing now)

Big mistakes are made! Brutus says "Yes, sure, Antony, come and eulogize Caesar. You won't say anything mean about us murderers, right?" HA! Never has the word "honorable" sounded soooo nasty.

Want more fun? Check out our website: fckshakespeare.com

Have a compliment or a complaint? Tweet at us, if you must: @fckshakespod

See weird pix and more info on episodes on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fckshakespeare/

And if you are inclined to be a patron like Queen Elizabeth, you can support this podcast for as little as 99¢/month. Click the link below! Think of it like throwing money in the virtual hat while we crazy players do our little song and dance here. We thank you! (imagine us bowing now)

In which the deed is done, Brutus et al are delusional about Rome's reaction, the quiet guy in the corner is told to go tell the public about the conspirators fine actions, A servant is worried about shooting the messenger, Antony sets up THE SCENE, and then BAM!

In which there is a DREAM, some creative on the spot misdirection, some BIG HUBRIS (which is always dangerous in a tragedy), a soothsayer who lays down some sooth, and a very confused servant.

"Scurvy Politicians" - Harold Bloom

In which the noble Brutus is swayed by a note tossed in at his window, cloaked conspirators conspire, Portia demonstrates her badassery, and an old guy is miraculously rejuvenated by simply basking in the glow of Brutus.

You can tell Diana is travelling since my titles and episode descriptions are less well constructed. Ha!

Enjoy! 

Weather is a character in Act 1 of JC. Between the lightening and people catching on fire and lions roaming the streets, it's terrifying!! Plus fun ties between Hamlet and Caesar and big plans for Pompey's Porch are percolating. (There's some alliteration for ya. You're welcome.)

Want more fun? Check out our website: fckshakespeare.com

Have a compliment or a complaint? Tweet at us, if you must: @fckshakespod

See weird pix and more info on episodes on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fckshakespeare/

And if you are inclined to be a patron like Queen Elizabeth, you can support this podcast for as little as 99¢/month. Click the link below! Think of it like throwing money in the virtual hat while we crazy players do our little song and dance here. We thank you! (imagine us bowing now)