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Filled to Flourish

Filled to Flourish

By Lauren + Luke Smallcomb
Join married couple and mental health enthusiasts, Luke, Clinical Counselor, and Lauren, RN-Nutritional Therapist, as they converse about a myriad of topics on the journey towards becoming an emotionally healthy person.

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What Do We Need From Our Spouse?

Filled to Flourish

What Do We Need From Our Spouse?

Filled to Flourish

The Desecration of Spiritual Abuse, Part II
So many people don't ever recover from the brutal effects of spiritual abuse. They may go on to live "normal" lives, but the impact of such intimate abuse continuously haunts their souls, and brings destruction to their relationships. How does one get out from under it? How does one escape it's merciless grip, even years after leaving it behind.  Listen in to Part II as our guest Mary Rosenberger shares the rest of her story of being in a spiritually abusive ministry as a child and into adulthood, and how she eventually finds new life. Read more/contact her on her blog:   
March 1, 2021
The Desecration of Spiritual Abuse, Part I
Desecrate: to divert from a sacred to a profane use or purpose.  Our spirits were made for a sacred union with God and others. When these tender places of connection are manipulated and exploited, the impact on our hearts and lives simply cannot be understated. The disillusionment, trauma and utter hopelessness becomes the suffocating air the victim breaths, often with no foreseeable escape. Join us as Mary Rosenberger shares her gripping, heart-wrenching story of spiritual abuse from birth - 24 years old, and marvel at the resilience of the human spirit against all odds to heal and reconnect with the Living God.  Read more/contact her on her blog:  
February 23, 2021
Chronic Illness in Marriage
When you enter into marriage, you willingly choose to accept all that your spouse is bringing to your union. "Good times and bad, sickness and in health". Some of these darker things we are already aware of when we say "yes". But so many aspects of our lives have yet to unfold. Being married to someone with chronic health problems brings uniquely difficult and isolating trials. So much misunderstanding, so many lacking answers, so little clarity moving forward. Add in insecure attachment styles to the already complicated mix, and you will find yourself with a recipe for hurt, defensiveness and insurmountable loss. Is marriage and chronic illness incompatible? Is there a way through the blinding fog of illness to true intimacy and connection with your spouse, regardless of getting "better" or not? 
February 4, 2021
Attachment and Sex
Surely the mystery and draw to sex has been from the beginning of time, spanning every country and culture, age and gender.  How many songs, books, and movies have been created in an attempt to capture its beauty and wonder?  Being so sought after and pursued relentlessly by the human heart, why is it that fulfilling, life-changing sex is still so evasive? Why are so many of our deepest desires left unmet? Our longings unfullfilled? Maybe sex really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's really for the more carnal types, the unspiritual or unintellectual among us. Or maybe we've been so focused on the mechanics and aesthetics of sexual intimacy, we've actually missed out on developing the most beautiful part of a really great sex life. And we're left with our longings for something more meaningful. Join us as we carefully, yet boldly, examine attachment and sex, and invite us all to something so much better! (Content not appropriate for children, as you can imagine) 
January 26, 2021
What Do We Need From Our Spouse?
We had the great privilege of having a conversation with a dear friend Casey Lee, the counselor and owner of Rooted Hearts Counseling in Columbia, South Carolina. Casey is such a caring and passionate counselor, and he shares with us what he sees greatly benefiting relationships in his work. What we all long for is to feel more secure in our relationships, through experiencing the ABCS of Acceptance, Belonging, Comfort and Safety.  When the person we love is emotionally "ARE" (accesible, responsive, engaging), we can share our attachment fears, needs and longings with them, then we can engage in a corrective emotional experience. Over time these "corrective emotional experiences" change our attachment strategy.  Listen in as we explore this beautiful dance of relational attachment and find out what we really need from our spouse. 
January 18, 2021
Finding Your Voice
An important outcome of gaining access and awareness of our story is that we begin to find our voice, sometimes for the first time in our lives. It is in finding our voice we learn to share our desires, needs and heart with those we love.  This voice discovery gives us new courage to create healthy boundaries and avoid the extremes of codependency or being emotionally unavailable.  We also navigate vulnerability in the context of unsafe relationships, and share some of our thoughts on divorce. 
January 11, 2021
Making Space for Your Spouse's Story
Deep down many people understand that they do indeed have a story, and it impacts their present reality.  But what about our spouse's stories? Sometimes our stories are just enough to handle... how do we enter into a deep connection with another human and bear the weight of their story too? Making space for our spouses story is a tremendous privilege and gift of love, while it also has the power to crush us beneath it. Join us as we share an intimate part of our story, and hear the redemptive thread of the pursuit of love and connection woven throughout. 
January 4, 2021
Do I Have a Story? And Why Does it Even Matter?
We grow up hearing our story as the first story we're ever told, and then we begin centering ourselves in the stories we start writing as little kids.  However, somewhere along the way our heart shuts the door and locks our story away. Forgetting it, denying it, letting others write it for us....deadening a part of our heart and missing out the intrinsic glory we hold. Listen in as we explore the power of "story", and gain the courage to look at your story in a new, transforming light. 
December 14, 2020
The Vulnerability of Relational Bids
As anyone who has ever loved someone knows, intimate relationships bring profound vulnerability.  The relational bids that we exchange have the power to create close connection, or painful distance.  Join us as we explore the different potential responses to these requests to connect, and how they significantly impact the strength and intimacy of a relationship.  *Episode contains conversation that might not be suitable for little ears. 
December 7, 2020
Insecure Attachment Types
What is an insecure attachment and how is it formed? Join us as we explore the difficult topic regarding how our lives and relationships are greatly impacted from the development of insecure attachment styles as a young child. Gain insight to whether you may have an anxious attachment, avoidant attachment or anxious-avoidant (also know as disorganized) attachment style.  We also explore our attachment styles connection to our ability to regulate our internal world, and the maladaptive behaviors emotional dysregulation can lead to.  Awareness of your attachment style can be the beginning of profound transformation for your emotional health and your close relationships. 
November 30, 2020
Attachment 101
Attachment... emotional regulation...triggers? What do these words really mean and why do they matter? Join us as we discuss the purpose of early childhood connections and the impact they have on our future relationships.
November 23, 2020
Get to Know Us
Welcome to Filled to Flourish! We are so glad you are here. We hope you will experience insight and compassion as your emotional health gets taken to the next level! Learn about our story and our passion for heart growth. 
November 21, 2020