Filled to Flourish

This is our 5th episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. Here we explore the concept and practice of "slowing down". Why slowing down feels bad. Barriers to slowing down. P.A.U.S.E. Our pace + the NS. The benefits of slowing down. How slowing down helps us heal. The invitation of slowing down. This is the 4th of Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. We will share about the last pillar next week. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube or on IG.  The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF", and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30".

This is our 4th episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. This is all about COMPASSION. What self-compassion looks like. Some barriers to self-compassion. How trauma changes us. The physical benefits of self-compassion.  How compassion helps us heal. This is the 3rd of Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube. The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF", and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30".

This is our 3rd episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. This is all about BEAUTY.  The anatomy of beauty. The purpose of beauty. How trauma disconnects us from beauty. The invitation of beauty. The benefits of beauty....and more!  We hope you enjoy and you FEEL an accessible invitation to enter more deeply into goodness and beauty.  This is the 2nd in Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube. The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF". and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30". 

This is our 2nd episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series.  This is all about ACCEPTANCE.  Why acceptance matters for healing. What to/not to accept. The place for storywork + grief in acceptance. The VERY BEST part of acceptance. How acceptance (and lack of) affects the nervous system. This is the 1st pillar in Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing.  If you'd like to checkout the presentation with slides: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-roPAJYxUA  If you want to join our next webinar live, and have access to the Q&A, join us Thursday April 21st, 9 PM EST. Sign up in the link: https://www.flourishtherapy.co/findingyourwaybackwebinar?r_done=1  Limited time discount codes for 3-Month Signature Program: 30%OFF, or 2.5 Day Intensive"INTENSIVE30"

We're SO excited about this new series on "Finding Your Way Back". It is all about SAFETY.  What it is. Why it matters so much. How it's lost. The journey of rediscovering it. We explore how the nervous system develops, attachment, coregulation, neuroception, regulation basics, threat + safety, and the vagus nerve.  (This was produced as a webinar, that's why there are some pauses. If you want to follow along with the slides, head over to our YouTube channel and watch the video recording).

*Trigger Warning* (Please put yourself, and your needs first as you listen to this episode) Abuse happens behind closed doors far more often than most recognize. While sometimes it's glaringly obvious- often the truth lies in the subtleties that society typically over looks or even justifies. Join us for a conversation with Samantha, a brilliant domestic abuse survivor, as she details her long and painful trauma journey in which she eventually realized her marriage was in fact, abusive. She shares with us how dangerous hope can be, the 3 things that must be present in a relationship that loves well, and how childhood traumas can set us up for abusive relationships in adulthood. You will not want to miss this episode.   Samantha is a single-divorced, stay-at-home-mom-turned-business- woman, and a domestic abuse survivor and advocate. She loves spending her free time singing, running, hiking and enjoying her 3 beautiful children and amazing friends. If you have any concerns that you may be experiencing abuse, reach out for help https://www.thehotline.org/or Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) Visit flourishtherapy.co to check out our soon to be launched practice. 🌿

In this third episode in our abuse series, we talk with a (really amazing!) mental health professional, Danielle Farra Bingham, about her experience working with people who have suffered various abuses. She shares honestly about the many effects that abuse often has on people + how she sees people recovering from these painful traumas. It is such a wonderful conversation full of compassion, clarity + hope.  Danielle Farra Bingham is a licensed mental health therapist in the state of FL. She received her Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology from the University of Florida, her Masters in Mental Health Counseling from Liberty University, and is currently getting her Ph.D in Psychology with a special interest in religious trauma.  She is the founder of Vibrant Hope Telehealth Counseling where she sees clients all over the state of Florida. She also is a professor at Southeastern University where she teaches psychology, sociology, and counseling courses. She is passionate about quality mental health education, which is why she created her Instagram @the.farrapist, where she creates relatable content on various mental health topics.  Check out our brand new practice, FLOURISH Therapy on IG @flourish_therapy or our soon-to-be-launched website flourishtherapy.co 

Join us for our 3rd episode in this series as we explore abuse and it's impacts on our hearts + souls. Abi has a unique, but relatable story of being very involved in ministry and part of an intense training program for 7 years, and yet decided to pull out in light of things that were being asked of her that were not in alignment with what she knew was right for her. This began a long, and often painful journey of reorienting her beliefs, healing her heart and recalibrating her role in the global church. In light of her experiences she has become so tender towards others who have experienced hurt in the church, believing healing and wholeness is available for all.  Abi is passionate about creating opportunities for people to experience the joy and compassionate love of the Father. She has 12 years of ministry experience. She has traveled both nationally and internationally to lead worship, speak, and encourage the global community through her writing, music, and in-person and online groups. Abi is the founder of Abba’s Joy, which includes a community online platform where she shares blog posts, short encouragements, and other resources. Ultimately, her desire is to create a space where people will feel at home and can relax into the simple fact that God rejoices over us because we are the Father’s joy. Connect with Abi @abbasjoy or on her website www.abbasjoy.org. 

Welcome back to Part II as we hear from Heather Elizabeth on the rest of the 13 different patterns of abuse. Make sure you listen in to to Part I if you haven't yet. Heather is an abuse survivor and Certified Faith Based Abuse Advocate through Give Her Wings Academy. She is a group coach, podcaster, facilitator of Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse, + host of Safer Spaces Summit and Held & Healed Retreat. Contact her here: http://HeatherElizabeth.org + listen to her podcast here: shorturl.at/elEL0 Make sure to check out Safer Spaces Summit 2022: https://heatherelizabeth.org/page/safer-spaces-summit-2022

Abuse is a pervasive + destructive element in so many relationships and communities. Awareness of what these dynamics look like is so crucial, as the way through towards healing is found in understanding, boundaries + appropriate expectations. Join us as we hear from Heather Elizabeth on the 13 different patterns of abuse. Heather is an abuse survivor and Certified Faith Based Abuse Advocate through Give Her Wings Academy. She is a group coach, podcaster, facilitator of Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse, + host of Safer Spaces Summit and Held & Healed Retreat. Contact her here: http://HeatherElizabeth.org + listen to her podcast here: shorturl.at/elEL0 Make sure to check out Safer Spaces Summit 2022: https://heatherelizabeth.org/page/safer-spaces-summit-2022

On our journey of becoming an emotionally healthy adult, we often begin to recognize the way we've engaged relationally and culturally with others hasn't been from a place of health! Today we share an amazing conversation we had with Michelle Reyes, author of "Becoming All Things: How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Connections Across Cultures". We explore why we NEED cross-cultural relationships, how to have better conversations with people, when to walk away, knowing our own cultural story, offering people alternatives to racist rhetoric and getting to the heart of what people feel so we can have meaningful conversations. Her insights were SO helpful and her voice SO necessary! She offers such a refreshing way of engaging with people that are different from us, in a way that is deeply honoring and connecting.  Michelle Ami Reyes, PhD, is the Vice President of the AACC and Co-Executive Director of Pax. She is the Scholar in Residence at Hope Community Church and author of Becoming All Things: How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Connections Across Cultures. Dr. Reyes lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and two amazing kids." You can find her on IG @michelleamireyes or her site: https://michelleamireyes.com/ 

Join us for this episode with a really special guest, Kate Boyd! We jump into what it's like to realize you're a #messymiddlechristian, the differences between deconstruction and deconverting, what is "disentangling", examining the parts of our faith that are cultural and the power of asking questions. Kate is a writer, Bible teacher, and host of the Happy & Holy podcast. She helps believers who find themselves in the messy middle between loving the church and leaving it to more confidently walk the lines between doubt and certainty and faith and action with love and grace for all. She has traveled the world to interview and tell the stories of believers on mission, and inspired by those encounters, she creates spaces to facilitate wholehearted discipleship in the church at home. She is studying theology with an emphasis in church history and biblical languages at Perkins School of Theology. Find her on IG @kateboyd.co or on her site at kateboyd.co

On this very special episode we interview our most beloved guest ever, our daughter, Tessa. We discuss the specifics of what a glass child is, as well as how to better love the glass children in our lives. We are so thankful for Tessa's interest and bravery to tackle this topic publicly. She longs to help other kids with similar stories to hers, and we think this episode is a terrific step in that direction.

Join us for our last episode in our series "Conversations About Race", as we deep dive into what it means to be "white" socially, culturally + relationally. We are joined by our dear friend, Maryah. Maryah is a RN by profession, a virtual Spanish teacher by necessity and expat living in the Dominican Republic with her multi-racial (white, black and biracial) and multi-cultural (white, Dominican-Haitian) family. She and her husband are currently navigating the waters of raising their biracial child in this up-side-down world. We are so thankful for yet another distinct perspective as we engage in this important conversation on race. Please let us know what you think of this series and consider sharing if you've found it valuable! 

The wait is TOTALLY worth it for our first three-guest episode! Join us as our guests delve into the (often) complicated journey of being a multi-racial/biracial person. We explore identity, belonging, labels and potential emotional health challenges related to being multiracial. They graciously allow us a peek into some specific stories of racism, microaggressions and fetishization that they have experienced. Often glossed over, we hope this episode creates more space for multiracial people to have the well-deserved, overdue, seat at the proverbial "table". 

In our second episode in the series "Conversations About Race" we have a really meaningful chat with good friends of ours.  We explore the influence of fear on our beliefs, biases, being underrepresented as a minority, the impact of racism children, generational trauma, a growth mindset and more! Daniel begins the episode sharing how we first met, and what my less-than-desirable response was at first, all the way through to how we developed the amazing friendship we share today. It's an awesome episode you want want to miss! A native of Aiken, SC, Jade Nealious is a Graduate from the University of South Carolina Columbia with a bachelor’s degree in Electronic Journalism, and also has a master’s degree in Management and Leadership from Southern Wesleyan University. She is a seventeen-year survivor of lupus (SLE) and rheumatoid arthritis.  Jade founded "Crowing Lupus", an organization that helps men and women living with lupus avoid health disparities through education, finance, and advocacy across the state of SC and parts of GA. She grew up being surrounded by football + loves tailgating. Daniel is also a SC native and graduate of Limestone University. He is a serious Dallas Cowboys fan. Daniel recently popped the question to his queen Jade, and through lots of happy tears she said yes! Daniel + Jade are a dynamic couple, who love + care about people so well. We're so thankful for their friendship. 🤍

Welcome to the first episode of our podcast series where we will explore different conversations related to race. Listen in as we talk with dear friends of ours and explore how Asian-American's are not a monolith, the dynamics of being "the model minority", food injury, majority/minority culture, anti-blackness, colorism and more...We are deeply thankful for their willingness to share a peek into their heart and experience. What a gift this episode will be to so many! Stay tuned for the next two episodes in this series.

Parenting has hands down been the most consistently challenging part of our adult lives. It has stretched, shaped, humbled and overwhelmed us over and over again! The more we learn about brain health + attachment, the more we desire to see our day-to-day parenting align with our understanding of human relationships. It is out of this deep desire that our 1 Month Parenting Challenge was born. Wanting to take your relationship with your kids (+ yourself as you parent your kids) to a whole other level?! Listen in + considering joining us this month for this exciting challenge. We really believe you will find greater connection, compassion and understanding of this beautifully, complex relationship between parent/child. 

A really amazing part of journeying towards better emotional health is learning to attune our ear to the voice of our inner child. This is the vulnerable part of us that carries our deepest wounds and unmet needs. Most of the time people learn to stifle and silence that voice, only for it to be still very much alive, buried deep under layers and layers, years and years, of painful avoidance. If our inner child wounds are not tended to, the pain will inevitably come out side ways, in hurt and destruction to ourselves and those around us. While a bit scary at first, it really is an honor to be able to lean in and listen to the voice of our inner child, and for the first time in a long time allow it to receive the compassion and care it has needed all along. Our relationships no longer need to be crushed by the weight of our unhealed wounds, there is so much love + freedom available as we do this important work. 

Conflict with our partners is often one of the most terrifying, vulnerable and challenging parts of being in an intimate relationship. It has this impressive power to bring out the most protective, panicked and seemingly illogical parts of us. Yet, what we say and do during conflict is directly connected to the massively big feelings we're swimming (sometimes drowning?) in. As the curtain gets pulled back and you get to peer behind the scenes, you will have this new found access to your partner's heart, and a pathway to a more human way of resolving even the most painful relationship breeches. 

In honor of recently celebrating 15 years of marriage (woo-hoo!) we decided to think over the most meaningful insights we've learned along the way! Enjoy as we share what has meant the most to us, what we wish we knew earlier on, and what principles we have become the foundation of our relationship. 

Sex is a profoundly intimate experience with another human, and the way we engage in our sex life is not random or generic. There are so many facets to our sexual journey + experience, and we believe our enneagram type is absolutely part of that! In this episode we begin a conversation about the intersection of our enneagram numbers and our sex lives. We took a survey with a small sample size (around 3 dozen+ participants), in which we pull some interesting data and possible connections from. Otherwise, we are simply starting this conversation with the hope of bringing more insight and awareness into our sexual relationships, for the goal of better connection and more mutual satisfaction!  We would love for more participants to fill out this assessment, with the hopes of returning to this conversation at a later date with even more helpful data! You can find it here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NAbfB1fjaqwn1toqhD06nJIXHiE3hB0syE6eExP66qU/prefill 

In this episode we chat about the rest of the Enneagram numbers: 5, 6, 7 and 8. Enjoy listening and stayed tuned for the next episode in this enneagram series. 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍Our guest on this episode is a dear friend and wonderful human, Katie Miller. Katie is life consultant and Enneagram coach with a strong background in family and leadership counseling. Her joy is in meeting people in their mess and empowering them to walk in fullness of life with Jesus. Katie and her husband Ben live in Upstate NY, where together they direct a discipleship school focused on the heart. Katie does individual and group enneagram coaching, and life consulting. She can be reached at: Katie@benandkatieconstulting.com, Www.edmschooloftheheart.com, and on IG @Kmills.photo.

The Enneagram has been around for a L-O-N-G time, but in the last few decades, and even more in the last few years, the Ennegram has exploded in many circles where self-awareness is valued and loving others well is held in highest regard. This tool has been tremendously helpful to so many, and we are THRILLED to be able to introduce you to the wonder of the Enneagram, or if you've already jumped in, help you deepen your insight.  Our guest on this episode is a dear friend and wonderful human, Katie Miller. Katie is life consultant and Enneagram coach with a strong background in family and leadership counseling. Her joy is in meeting people in their mess and empowering them to walk in fullness of life with Jesus. Katie and her husband Ben live in Upstate NY, where together they direct a discipleship school focused on the heart. Katie does individual and group enneagram coaching, and life consulting. She can be reached at:  Katie@benandkatieconstulting.com,  Www.edmschooloftheheart.com, and on IG @Kmills.photo.  Make sure you don't miss Ennegram Intro Part II once it's released. 

As we're earning a secure attachment, and growing in our understanding of our stories, we sometimes find ourselves back into seasons where we feel all our old vulnerabilities and insecurities calling the shots relationally. This is completely normal and doesn't mean we've gone all the way back to square one! Join us as we share personally how this might look, what seasons of life can often revert us back to our default attachment style and how to find a way forward with compassion and affirmation.

**Shock Alert** We know, we know. But before you write this off, we invite you to listen in as we explore how our human connection in the earliest years of life goes on to affect the rest of our lives, and in light of this how important healthy attachment should be in parenting our children. 

We *may* have avoided this episode, as parenting is often excruciatingly painful for us to be faithful in.  We desire for the Filled to Flourish podcast to always be an authentic outpouring of our lives, and we want our content about parenting to be no different. But, we finally felt "ready" to get started on this parenting conversation.  We believe learning that we have a story, and that it matters, is at the foundation of our ability to parent from a place of wholeness and connection, instead of reactivity and hurt.  If we don't bring awareness into our parenting of why we do the things we do with our kids, we will continue to cause unintentional harm to their hearts and ultimately their ability to attach well to other humans. We invite you to bravely take a deeper look, along with us, at how our stories are colliding with our parenting, and how to begin to find a way out of this crazy cycle of frustration and harm. 

Emotional + mental health are intricately connected to physical brain health. While we seek healing and wholeness interpersonally and relationally, it's wise to give some attention to the health of our physical brain as well. Listen in as I, a Nutritional Therapist, share the top 5 priorities for optimal Brain Health + some bonus material including supplement options and brain-healthy food principles.

Many of us enter marriage not deeply aware of who we are yet, let alone who our spouse is. Mental illness often begins to take root in childhood, and yet the awareness and acceptance of our mental health challenges can come decades later.  Our mental health, or lack of, has profound implications on the many facets of our marriage relationship and life. When these challenges are experienced in the context of a marriage relationship, shame and suffering abound, and we become further and further isolated from the connection we crave. The lack of understanding and framework of what it is we're experiencing only amplifies the powerlessness. Finding answers and understanding of mental health issues can bring profound light into the darkness, and connection can begin to flourish through mutual understanding. Listen in as we explore these truths and share more of our story with mental health issues. 

So many people don't ever recover from the brutal effects of spiritual abuse. They may go on to live "normal" lives, but the impact of such intimate abuse continuously haunts their souls, and brings destruction to their relationships. How does one get out from under it? How does one escape it's merciless grip, even years after leaving it behind.  Listen in to Part II as our guest Mary Rosenberger shares the rest of her story of being in a spiritually abusive ministry as a child and into adulthood, and how she eventually finds new life. Read more/contact her on her blog: http://wearetheoutsiders.com/   

Desecrate: to divert from a sacred to a profane use or purpose.  Our spirits were made for a sacred union with God and others. When these tender places of connection are manipulated and exploited, the impact on our hearts and lives simply cannot be understated. The disillusionment, trauma and utter hopelessness becomes the suffocating air the victim breaths, often with no foreseeable escape. Join us as Mary Rosenberger shares her gripping, heart-wrenching story of spiritual abuse from birth - 24 years old, and marvel at the resilience of the human spirit against all odds to heal and reconnect with the Living God.  Read more/contact her on her blog: http://wearetheoutsiders.com/  

When you enter into marriage, you willingly choose to accept all that your spouse is bringing to your union. "Good times and bad, sickness and in health". Some of these darker things we are already aware of when we say "yes". But so many aspects of our lives have yet to unfold. Being married to someone with chronic health problems brings uniquely difficult and isolating trials. So much misunderstanding, so many lacking answers, so little clarity moving forward. Add in insecure attachment styles to the already complicated mix, and you will find yourself with a recipe for hurt, defensiveness and insurmountable loss. Is marriage and chronic illness incompatible? Is there a way through the blinding fog of illness to true intimacy and connection with your spouse, regardless of getting "better" or not? 

Surely the mystery and draw to sex has been from the beginning of time, spanning every country and culture, age and gender.  How many songs, books, and movies have been created in an attempt to capture its beauty and wonder?  Being so sought after and pursued relentlessly by the human heart, why is it that fulfilling, life-changing sex is still so evasive? Why are so many of our deepest desires left unmet? Our longings unfullfilled? Maybe sex really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's really for the more carnal types, the unspiritual or unintellectual among us. Or maybe we've been so focused on the mechanics and aesthetics of sexual intimacy, we've actually missed out on developing the most beautiful part of a really great sex life. And we're left with our longings for something more meaningful. Join us as we carefully, yet boldly, examine attachment and sex, and invite us all to something so much better! (Content not appropriate for children, as you can imagine) 

We had the great privilege of having a conversation with a dear friend Casey Lee, the counselor and owner of Rooted Hearts Counseling in Columbia, South Carolina. Casey is such a caring and passionate counselor, and he shares with us what he sees greatly benefiting relationships in his work. What we all long for is to feel more secure in our relationships, through experiencing the ABCS of Acceptance, Belonging, Comfort and Safety.  When the person we love is emotionally "ARE" (accesible, responsive, engaging), we can share our attachment fears, needs and longings with them, then we can engage in a corrective emotional experience. Over time these "corrective emotional experiences" change our attachment strategy.  Listen in as we explore this beautiful dance of relational attachment and find out what we really need from our spouse. https://www.rootedheartscounseling.com/ 

An important outcome of gaining access and awareness of our story is that we begin to find our voice, sometimes for the first time in our lives. It is in finding our voice we learn to share our desires, needs and heart with those we love.  This voice discovery gives us new courage to create healthy boundaries and avoid the extremes of codependency or being emotionally unavailable.  We also navigate vulnerability in the context of unsafe relationships, and share some of our thoughts on divorce. 

Deep down many people understand that they do indeed have a story, and it impacts their present reality.  But what about our spouse's stories? Sometimes our stories are just enough to handle... how do we enter into a deep connection with another human and bear the weight of their story too? Making space for our spouses story is a tremendous privilege and gift of love, while it also has the power to crush us beneath it. Join us as we share an intimate part of our story, and hear the redemptive thread of the pursuit of love and connection woven throughout. 

We grow up hearing our story as the first story we're ever told, and then we begin centering ourselves in the stories we start writing as little kids.  However, somewhere along the way our heart shuts the door and locks our story away. Forgetting it, denying it, letting others write it for us....deadening a part of our heart and missing out the intrinsic glory we hold. Listen in as we explore the power of "story", and gain the courage to look at your story in a new, transforming light. 

As anyone who has ever loved someone knows, intimate relationships bring profound vulnerability.  The relational bids that we exchange have the power to create close connection, or painful distance.  Join us as we explore the different potential responses to these requests to connect, and how they significantly impact the strength and intimacy of a relationship.  *Episode contains conversation that might not be suitable for little ears. 

What is an insecure attachment and how is it formed? Join us as we explore the difficult topic regarding how our lives and relationships are greatly impacted from the development of insecure attachment styles as a young child. Gain insight to whether you may have an anxious attachment, avoidant attachment or anxious-avoidant (also know as disorganized) attachment style.  We also explore our attachment styles connection to our ability to regulate our internal world, and the maladaptive behaviors emotional dysregulation can lead to.  Awareness of your attachment style can be the beginning of profound transformation for your emotional health and your close relationships. 

Attachment... emotional regulation...triggers? What do these words really mean and why do they matter? Join us as we discuss the purpose of early childhood connections and the impact they have on our future relationships.

Welcome to Filled to Flourish! We are so glad you are here. We hope you will experience insight and compassion as your emotional health gets taken to the next level! Learn about our story and our passion for heart growth.