Film Broads

Well, it's an easy watch at least. We've got another Connecticut Yankee on our hands, but did Disney manage to do anything interesting with it? And would it really be possible to build a medieval mountain bike?

If you want some straight up and down mid-century Arthuriana, it doesn't get more stock-standard than this. No, that's not supposed to sound like a compliment.

Is it possible to Frankenstein a good movie from the remains of a prior, not very good movie? Maybe, but Siege of the Saxons is not it, off-brand Robin Hood notwithstanding.

We thought the 2000s Tristan and Isolde was a low water mark, but this one gives it a run for its money. Is it impossible to make a good Tristan and Isolde? And, more crucially, who the hell is Dinas?

It's the King Arthur movie against which all others are measured. It's Excalibur.

Once upon a time, one man and his second wife decided they could make movies without the studio system that didn't seem to want them. But did they manage to pull it off?

October is for bad movies, apparently, and this is one really tested our limits. Listen to the episode, but don't watch the film. Truly.

New archaeology dropped! Turns out Arthur was a Roman. Or a Sarmatian? What even is a Sarmatian? And who decided Clive Owen should play him? Find out all this and more in this episode!

Content warning: The movie features discussion of sexual assault and it comes up in the episode.

Dad's mowing the lawn, your big brother is still asleep, and the whole weekend is ahead of you. Grab a bowl of Froot Loops and the tv remote, because it's time to watch some cartoons. But the question is: what do King Arthur and the Knights of Justice and Princess Gwenevere and the Jewel Riders have to do with Arthuriana (and where do we get these action figures??)?

What could King Arthur have to do with mid-century American politics? As it turns out, more than you'd think!

Well, it finally happened, folks. We found a movie we just hate. Find out from us why it's so bad, but for the love of god don't watch it.

It's our first cartoon since the first adventure on this Grail Quest. But how does this childhood favorite hold up? And does it have anything at all to do with legend?

We found a weird, hilarious, beautiful little gem and we couldn't be happier about it. This movie was a complete delight, but how does it compare to its source material?

Editor's note: I misspoke towards the end of the episode; "sang real" translates as "royal blood," not "holy blood." Sorry! -Ashley

CONTENT WARNING: This episode discusses depictions of racism including actors in brown face, and sexual assault

Not gonna sugarcoat it, this one is bad even by 50s standards. Some good hats, though.

This movie asks questions few dare to ask, such as "what if Lancelot wore jeans?" and "what if Arthur had weird goblin energy?" 

This was a long one to watch, and a long one to record (especially with our very talkative new cohost!). But then, the life of Merlin should be a pretty complicated tale. We just didn't expect... well, a lot of this.

Two good movies in a row? It feels like Christmas! Oh, wait.

This is the story of a very beautiful jerk who gets his face touched a lot. We really like it.

Finally some good f*cking food. The Kid Who Would Be King is a delightful adventure for all ages (did we mention it's delightful?). But how does it compare to the legends it invokes?

We tried to find something spooky for October, and while it turns out this movie wasn't that spooky it sure is something. 

CORRECTION: We will address this further at the beginning of the next episode, but we neglected to do our homework and it turns out the actors in this film are all actually from the UK. Oops!

We're back in the romance genre with this film from our long-ago youth. The cast is stacked, the color grading is set to sepia and King Arthur is nowhere to be seen, now it's time to get sexy. At least, that's the idea.

Well we had to cover one of the versions of it at some point, though it remains to be seen if it has much to do with Arthuriana at all... Come for the Bing Crosby tunes, stay for the, um, horse-based comedy?

One of the most recent Hollywood forays into Arthuriana, this Guy Ritchie romp may leave you pumped up, or perhaps just scratching your head. Is there ANYTHING of the source material in here?

We're back for more, and this one is certainly a change of pace. What does Arthurian legend become when you take out the magic? And also, who told Richard Gere to kiss like that?

We begin our eternal quest at the beginning. Well, in a sense. We've all seen The Sword in the Stone, but what does it actually have to do with Arthurian legend? And what's up with that extremely sad part with the squirrel?

GRAIL QUEST updates every last Wednesday.

The monster man is back, but this time the supernatural isn't quite what we usually expect from him. Does his first follow-up to his Oscar win live up to expectations?

Next week our new adventure begins with Grail Quest!

We did it. It took a hell of a long time but we got through this filmography that, to say nothing else of it, was never boring. We discussed the 2 seasons of Sense8, and put ourselves through the torture once again of final rankings. We have big news about what's next for us, so listen to the end for that!

After an 18 year wait, Lana gave us the Matrix sequel we never thought we would get. The question is, can you go back (back to the matrix)?

The last film the Wachowskis made before giving television a try, and the first film since the Matrix trilogy not to be an adaptation. It's really, actually good y'all. Please give it a chance. 

We will be back after the December 22 release of The Matrix Resurrections!

The Wachowskis continued their rampage through Hollywood with the supposedly unfilmable Cloud Atlas. So... how did it turn out? It's complicated.

Watch out, we're driving the car around and no one can stop us. We love this crazy movie, and we want you to love it too.

We find ourselves in a new kind of dystopia. This one is also pretty queer though, tbh. Technically not directed by Lana and Lilly, this season still wouldn't be complete without V for Vendetta (for better or worse...).

It was the biggest film franchise in the world. How were they going to end it? And, more importantly, how queer was it going to be?

Four years later, the Wachowskis followed up their runaway hit with a sequel, and the internet exploded. But how trans is it?

It's the big one, y'all. There was a time you couldn't walk down the street without tripping over a Matrix parody. Its cultural ubiquity is undeniable, but what is it REALLY about? (Spoilers: it's about trans)

Welcome to season 3: Wachowskipilled! We're back with the gayest season yet, and this first episode is gayer than you can imagine. The first film written and directed by the Wachowskis, Bound is a sexy lesbian noir... but does it hold up after more than 15 years? 

It's been eighteen months since we started this podcast, and somehow we're still quarantino-ing. Our boy turned his movie into a book, so of course we had to read it. Brace yourself; this novel is a hell of a ride. 

Film Broads returns next week with Wachowskipilled!

Once again we've come to the end. Before we get to the final rankings, however, we need to take a trip through the list of Guillermo's unrealized projects to date. There are some doozys.

It's been a strange and bumpy road but we've finally arrived at the pinnacle... or at least that's what the Academy thought. How did a movie about interspecies romance capture the hearts of the Hollywood elite? Perhaps some people are missing the forest for the seaweed.

We are both completely in love with this spooky, sexy, feminist film. Pay no mind to the theatrical trailers.

First off, we're sorry. We don't know how we talked about Pacific Rim for four hours either. Listen to the episode to see how this movie about robots punching monsters could possibly merit that much discussion!

We're back in comic book land after that brief stint into fairy tales, with Del Toro's very extra follow up to Hellboy. This is where all the spaghetti went, folks.

This is a big one, Del Toro's first "artsy" indie film to really capture Hollywood. But why did it connect with so many people?

The comic book train keeps rolling! Comic book movies were on shaky ground in 2004, but Del Toro gave this passion project his all. Does it still hold up in the era of comic book films?

A bit of an anomaly in Del Toro's filmography, this was Del Toro's first official venture into a licensed property. Could our boy possibly elevate this pretty ok early 2000s comic book franchise?

Del Toro's first American film was fraught with misadventure, and resulted in a film frankly no one was happy with. When he got the chance to fix the movie, did it really make a difference?

Thus begins season 2, a deep dive into Guillermo Del Toro (obscurely titled Del Toro Quest). We begin at the beginning with the little-known Cronos, Del Toro's 1993 cinematic debut.

And so we have come to the end and must undertake the terrible self-imposed task of ranking these films. Also, we watched Four Rooms because why not?

Twitter: 

@thatjackanapes

@leolermontov

We've reached Tarantino's most recent--and most personal--film to date. Breaking this one down, we considered the arc of this 30 year career.

Due to unfortunate circumstances this episode had to be re-recorded, but the second time around became a second chance to get to the heart of this complex and challenging film. 

Black Lives Matter.