Podcast #151 - The Pig Picture: Streaming Services Impressions
As Hot Climate Change Summer comes to a close the Film Pigs are back with a brand-new podcast! This time we're looking at streaming services: the big players, the small upstarts, who has an established identity, who's just flailing around, and more. Plus, a rundown of what we've seen lately and a thrill-filled game pitching movies to the streamers!
September 29, 2022
Podcast #150 - The Pig Picture: Pandemic Theater Going
It's August and the planet is riddled with pandemics, global warming, high-level treason, and probably a real-life sharknado somewhere. So, forget your troubles with the latest Film Pigs Podcast where we discuss...going to the movies during a pandemic. [shrug emoji, we guess?]
August 25, 2022
Podcast #149 - The Bacon: State of Cinema 2022
July is too damn hot for a full episode so this time its a Bacon with Todd and Skelton. The two Pigs talk recent movies and the general state of cinema in 2022. There is also an in-depth review of Skelton's recent lab results (SPOILER: he's adequate).
July 29, 2022
Podcast #148 - The Pig Picture: 2022 Summer Movie Predictions
The Film Pigs are back and declaring summer 2022 to be a Hot Pig Summer! And we're kicking things off by looking at the upcoming summer movie releases and giving our predictions: big hit, big flop, delayed indefinitely due to a star's bad behavior or the imminent collapse of our republic? Who knows? Plus, what we've seen lately and a guessing game involving lots of money!
June 23, 2022
Podcast #147 – The Pig Picture: 80s Movies Sequels
The Pigs are back with your May flowers – a podcast talking about the recent trend of sequels to 30+ year old movies and what 80s sequels we’d like to see next. Plus, what we’ve seen lately and a rousing game of trivia. All fully vaccinated!
May 21, 2022
Podcast #146 – The Pig Picture: Is It All IP’s Fault?
It’s the end of April and the Pigs are back with a hard-hitting look at the movie industry’s obsession with IP. IP! Gotta have good IP! Four quadrant IP! Billion dollar IP! You got no IP? Get lost, loser! Plus games and Falk’s driving through a tunnel the whole time.
April 30, 2022
Podcast #145 – The Bacon: The Best Picture Nominee Breakdown Meltdown!
In this Bacon episode, Falk and Anderson have a very serious discussion in breaking down each very serious movie up for a very serious award from a very serious organization that gives out very serious gold trophies. Look, this is serious, you guys.
March 18, 2022
Podcast #144 – The Bacon: Moonfall
Yes, the episode title is correct. We dedicated an entire podcast to Moonfall. Because we were really excited to see it. For real. Then we saw it. Then we talked about it. Moonfall.
February 25, 2022
Podcast #143 – The Bacon: 2021 Movies Roundup
We missed December (let’s be honest, we were all just waiting out the end of 2021, right?) but are back for 2022! This episode the Pigs review al the movies they saw in 2021, in theaters or at home streaming, locked away from a world gone mad. SPOILER ALERT: Todd risked going to the theater … Continue reading Podcast #143 – The Bacon: 2021 Movies Roundup →
January 13, 2022
Podcast #142 – The Bacon: Song Vs. Movie
A busy holiday season means this November’s podcast is an episode of The Bacon. Todd and Skelton get into it over whether a movie’s featured song made the movie a hit, or if the movie made the song popular. But before that they ramble on about movies they’ve seen, including those omnipresent Marvel ones.
November 30, 2021
Podcast #141 – The Pig Picture: Shock Value
Remember, remember the Pigs in November! Because we forgot about October, the Pigs are hitting November early with an intense discussion about Shock Value in movies. Plus, an entirely too long segment about what we’ve seen lately and a game that predictably upsets Todd but has an unpredictable ending!
November 04, 2021
Podcast #140 – The Pig Picture: The Industry’s Next 10 Years
We’re trying something new this episode – not a Bacon, not a regular episode, but something in-between. Because this pandemic is exhausting and we needed something to shake up the monotony. Also, prepping a full episode is hard work and Skelton is very, very tired. Give him a break! There’s still a game and arguing.
September 30, 2021
Podcast #139 – CGI VFX in Movies
A common refrain is that there is too much Computer Generated Image VFX in movies that dilute the experience. But what about when CGI VFX work to enhance a movie as seamlessly as the best practical effects? The Pigs break it down in a thoughtful discussion, then follow up with courtroom drama, the latest news, … Continue reading Podcast #139 – CGI VFX in Movies →
August 31, 2021
Podcast #138 – Actors Who Died Too Soon
Yeah, yeah, we know we missed July. But we’re in some kind of mega-dumb double pandemic and it’s making us forgetful. Get vaccinated, mask up, and listen to the latest Film Pigs podcast about actors who died too soon.
August 06, 2021
Podcast #137 – The Fast Saga
We’re back, baby! For the first time in over a year of pandemic quarantine, the Film Pigs return with a regular podcast! And this time, it’s in person! With only minor mic issues, this podcast is a very special return to form with your favorite movie news, a discussion about the FAST & FURIOUS franchise, … Continue reading Podcast #137 – The Fast Saga →
June 25, 2021
Podcast #136 – Charles Grodin
The Pigs return for a May show with all hands on deck! That’s right, it’s a regular format podcast with all 3 pigs in attendance. Please enjoy our show dedicated to the late, great Charles Grodin. Plus, the usual segments you’ve been missing the past few shows: news, courtroom drama, games, and more! NOTE: New … Continue reading Podcast #136 – Charles Grodin →
May 27, 2021
Podcast #135 – The Bacon: Comfort Food Movies
Just under the wire for April, and one Pig short, the Film Pigs present an episode of The Bacon – this time talking Comfort Food Movies: those genres or specific movies you can watch over and over again. But not before extended discussion about the status of Todd’s b-hole. Spoiler Alert: It’s fantastic!
April 30, 2021
Podcast #134 – The Bacon: Director’s Cuts
We’ve reached the end of March, and to celebrate the rollout of pandemic vaccines (yes, they are real and they work) the Film Pigs bring you a very special episode of The Bacon! This time, Falk wasn’t available but Todd and Skelton talk Director’s Cuts in a very soothing NPR-ish style that takes a critical … Continue reading PODCAST #134 – The Bacon: Director’s Cuts →
March 29, 2021
Podcast #133 – The Bacon: Crying Movies
The Bacon: Crying Movies is a listicle episode in which Falk and Todd talk about ten (or fifteen) movies that make them cry. Tough guys do cry! Don’t make fun! Also, they talk about the junk in Todd’s neighbors’ driveways and get in a shame fight about summer homes.
February 22, 2021
Podcast #132 – The Year in Movies 2020
What better way to say “You go straight to Hell, devil-year!” than with a Film Pigs podcast discussing the movies released in 2020? Don’t answer that, because there is no better way! It’s the dawn of a new year as the Pigs discuss the latest movie news, last year’s cinema lanscape, hold high courtroom drama, … Continue reading Podcast #132 – The Year in Movies 2020 →
January 27, 2021
Podcast #131 – Warner Bros 2021 Streaming Slate
GET LOST 2020! The Film Pigs are back in full effect, sending off this hell year with a show about Warner Bros. decision to release their entire 2021 slate on HBO Max! Plus, movie news, courtroom, drama, games, and more! Get it in your ears to soothe the last few hours of 2020!
December 31, 2020
Podcast #130 – The Bacon: Mash-Ups
It’s Black Pigsday! And the best deal to be found is this absolutely free podcast! Spend your post-Thanksgiving day snacking on leftovers and listening to Todd and Skelton talk about movie mash-ups in this very special* episode of The Bacon! *Meaning, Falk wasn’t available and this is what we came up with.
November 27, 2020
Podcast #129 – The Bacon: Horror Movies We’ve Seen Lately
Boo! This podcast is so scary, kids! The Pigs are talking what horror movies they’ve seen lately, their favorite scariest moments from the movies, hypothetical movie questions, and more – all just in time for Halloween!
October 30, 2020
Podcast #128 – Movies During The Pandemic, Part Deux
As we close out the 6th full month of quarantine, the Pigs return with an update on how the pandemic has affected the film industry, their own viewing habits, and how things have changed. Plus, your regular movie news, a landmark movie court decision, a truly unpredictable game, and much more!
September 23, 2020
Podcast #127 – Long-Gestating Sequels
The Pigs brave the SoCal heatwave to bring you an August podcast! This time, we’re celebrating the imminent release of Bill & Ted 3 by talking about long-gestating sequels. Plus, the usual nonsense like movie news, courtroom drama, games, and extra commentary on the cleaning habits of Todd’s dumb cat.
August 20, 2020
Podcast #126 – The Future of the Cop Movie
The Film Pigs are ending July with a bang – namely, the unending bangs from all the neighborhood lunatics who seem to have an endless supply of fireworks. In-between car alarm-triggering novelty explosions, the Pigs are discussing the future of the cop genre. What will it look like in a world that has been staging … Continue reading Podcast #126 – The Future of the Cop Movie →
July 29, 2020
Podcast #125 – Movies During The Pandemic
It’s the end of June and the Pigs are back with another podcast from quarantine! This time, we’re talking about how the pandemic has affected out movie watching habits and our hopes for the future of moviegoing. Plus, all the usual nonsense: the latest movie news, an electrifying courtroom trial, a game with some very … Continue reading Podcast #125 – Movies During The Pandemic →
June 30, 2020
Podcast #124 – Favorite Comedies
May in quarantine means it’s time for a brand-new Film Pigs Podcast! We’re going lighter this episode and talking about our very favorite comedies, because who doesn’t need a laugh these days? All your other favorites are here, too: news, movie jail, a bizarre line reading, fun ‘n’ games, and so very much more!
May 25, 2020
Podcast #123 – Favorite Action Movies
Happy end of Quarantapril everyone! The Film Pigs are back with a light and breezy episode discussing our favorite action movies! Plus, all our usual nonsense: a low-energy stab at the latest movie news, a surprisingly merciful session of movie jail, a record-setting bizarre line reading, a thrilling trivia game, and so very much more!
April 29, 2020
Film Pigs Podcast Presents – The Lads on Magnum, Part 2
It’s Magnum Monday again! Part 2 of our sadly never-was Magnum P.I. podcast picks up where we left off last week. Will Magnum solve the mystery? Will T.C. fly the chopper? Will Rick get arrested for the clearly criminal behavior he engages in? Will Higgins reach maximum exasperation levels? And what of the lads? Won’t … Continue reading Film Pigs Podcast Presents – The Lads on Magnum, Part 2 →
April 13, 2020
Film Pigs Podcast Presents – The Lads on Magnum, Part 1
It’s Magnum Monday! We figured with all that quarantine time on your hands you could use some extra internet content – in the form of the pilot episodes for a Magnum P.I. podcast Todd & Skelton were going to do for the former Previously.TV (now part of Primetimer). Alas, the logistics didn’t work out but … Continue reading Film Pigs Podcast Presents – The Lads on Magnum, Part 1 →
April 06, 2020
Podcast #122 – I Don’t Want To Go To Burbank!
We’re back with our first show from quarantine! What will this mean for the future of theatrical releases? How will the industry survive? How many dangerously ignorant rich celebrities will keep putting others at risk? All this, and much more, awaits you in this edition! Stay safe! Practice social distancing! Flatten the curve! This is … Continue reading Podcast #122 – I Don’t Want To Go To Burbank! →
March 25, 2020
Podcast #121 – The Bacon: Fast 9 & General Nonsense
February got away from the Pigs, schedule-wise, so we give you a loosey-goosey Bacon episode with Todd and Skelton. They share their mutual excitement about the upcoming Fast franchise sequel, talk about why the spinoff Hobbs & Shaw was disappointing, wander off on a tangent about comedy or something, and probably a whole lot more!
February 27, 2020
Podcast #120 – 2020 Movies Anticipation
Happy New Year! The Pigs are back for a 2020 sure to be filled with thrills, spills, chills, and probably a lot more dimwitted authoritarianism. To fight back, we’re talking about movies coming out this year and how excited we are to see them! Okay, it’s mostly just a list of genre movies Todd wants … Continue reading Podcast #120 – 2020 Movies Anticipation →
January 29, 2020
Podcast #119 – The Star Wars Franchise
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! The Film Pigs are back for their last podcast of 2019. And with the release of THE RISE OF SKYWALKER, we’re talking the legendary Star Wars Franchise. Plus, news, courtroom drama, line readings, a visit from Todd’s dumb cousin Tonn, and much more! And shame on those naughty elves who … Continue reading Podcast #119 – The Star Wars Franchise →
December 18, 2019
Podcast #118 – Year in Movies 2019
Happy Pigsgiving, dear listeners! The Old Fashioned Boys are back for a proper full episode talking about this year in movies! Plus, deep dives into the latest movie news, courtroom drama about the state of cinema, an extremely vulgar Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, a game where Todd surprisingly doesn’t get that angry, and … Continue reading Podcast #118 – Year in Movies 2019 →
November 22, 2019
Podcast #117 – Robert Forster & Sid Haig
All Hallows’ Eve is upon us! To celebrate the spooky holiday, the Pigs talk about two character actors that have passed on this year: Robert Forster and Sid Haig. We also cover the latest movie news, put a cinema professional on trial, play a thrilling game of trivia, and get inexplicably upset at Todd’s dental … Continue reading Podcast #117 – Robert Forster & Sid Haig →
October 23, 2019
Podcast #116 – The Bacon: Rambo Franchise
The Film Pigs are back for another podcast, despite small-town sheriffs constantly escorting us to the county line! This time, it’s a Bacon episode that’s all about the Rambo franchise, including the latest entry, RAMBO LAST BLOOD. Consider this your SPOILER WARNING for ALL the Rambo movies, especially the ones where he stabs people with … Continue reading Podcast #116 – The Bacon: Rambo Franchise →
September 24, 2019
Podcast #115 – Video Game Adaptations
As summer draws to a close the Pigs return with a podcast related to everyone’s favorite pastime: remaining indoors, alone, playing Fortnite. This episode we’re talking video game adaptations and their place in the increasingly mega-franchise-focused movie world. Plus, the latest and greatest movie news, a harrowing case of courtroom drama, a game where Todd … Continue reading Podcast #115 – Video Game Adaptations →
August 21, 2019
Podcast #114 – The State of Box Office Comedies
The Film Pigs are back, just in time for the July heatwave that’s melting the planet and is in no way the result of climate change. Nothing to worry about, except the unprecedented in recent history temperatures melting arctic ice and releasing long dormant pathogens! In this episode, the Pigs talk about the dearth of … Continue reading Podcast #114 – The State of Box Office Comedies →
July 24, 2019
Podcast #113 – Dada. Why You Watch Geostorm?
It’s the start of July, which means it’s time for the June Film Pigs Podcast! This episode has got it all: the latest breaking movie news, a discussion on the rise-fall-rise-fall of the disaster movie, courtroom drama, a game chock full of helpful hints, and so much more!
July 03, 2019
Podcast #112 – Keanu Reeves
What better way to celebrate the release of John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum than with a Film Pigs podcast dedicated to the man himself, Keanu Reeves? Don’t answer that! There is no better way! There! Is! No! Better! WAY! This episode has everything: thoughtful discussion on the career up-and-downs and the enduring star presence … Continue reading Podcast #112 – Keanu Reeves →
May 29, 2019
Podcast #111 – Falk Thinks Marvel Movies Are For Dumb Babies
What better way to celebrate the opening week of AVENGERS: ENDGAME, the culmination of a decade’s worth of Marvel Cinematic Universe movies, than a Film Pigs podcast centered around Falk airing his grievances with the entire franchise? Don’t answer that, because you’re getting Falk airing his grievances with the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe franchise anyway. … Continue reading Podcast #111 – Falk Thinks Marvel Movies Are For Dumb Babies →
April 24, 2019
Podcast #110 – Spielberg vs Netflix
After a series of illnesses, the Film Pigs are back with a brand-new podcast for March! This episode is a thoughtful discussion on what defines a movie, in the wake of Steven Spielberg’s argument against Netflix releases qualifying for Oscars instead of Emmys. Plus, movie news, a trip to the courtroom, a bizarre line reading, … Continue reading Podcast #110 – Spielberg vs Netflix →
March 07, 2019
Podcast #109 – Liam Neeson
What better way to celebrate the first podcast of 2019 than with a huge technical disaster! We blew out our recording this time, so it’s best to pretend the sound on this episode is using a deliberate Bad Cellphone Connection filter in a meta nod to our episode’s subject: Liam Neeson! Other than the 80’s … Continue reading Podcast #109 – Liam Neeson →
January 25, 2019
Podcast #108 – The Bacon: Sex Offender Xmas
I’m dreaming of a White (middle-aged) Pigsmas! Our last episode of 2018 is another Bacon episode with Todd and Falk, yet somehow Skelton is left writing the copy for this blurb. And Todd didn’t tell him what the episode was about. I think it may mostly consist of a Christmas-themed sort of game or something? … Continue reading Podcast #108 – The Bacon: Sex Offender Xmas →
December 21, 2018
Podcast #107 – The Bacon: Mismarketed Movies
Guess what it’s time for? That’s right, everybody’s favorite kind of Pigs pod: the Bacon! In this episode two of the Pigs talk mismarketed movies, especially the current Widows. In addition, there are conversations about poor behind-the-scenes behavior, humble brags about celebrity encounters, and a phone message from a fan (who is actually a friend … Continue reading Podcast #107 – The Bacon: Mismarketed Movies →
November 29, 2018
Podcast #106 – The Halloween Franchise
No more days to Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, no more days to Halloween, The Film Pigs Podcast! We’re back on the scariest of days with a brand-new full-length episode featuring the return of Stephen Falk from his television exile! This time we’re talking the Halloween franchise, delving into movie news with a surprising personal connection, an … Continue reading Podcast #106 – The Halloween Franchise →
October 31, 2018
Podcast #105 – The Bacon: Meandering Nonsense & Jackasses Who Say Stupid Things
Summer’s end can only mean one thing: a lazy Bacon podcast from the Film Pigs! With Falk still missing-in-action due to gainful employment and adult responsibilities, Todd and Skelton are left to their own devices. Which basically involves complaining about Die Hard ripoff movies and how mostly male celebrities can’t seem to stop saying stupid … Continue reading Podcast #105 – The Bacon: Meandering Nonsense & Jackasses Who Say Stupid Things →
September 21, 2018
Podcast #104 – The Bacon: Recent Disappointments in the Movies
As the summer nears its end, the Film Pigs take a look at a few of this year’s movie disappointments. But not before screwing around a lot – this is an episode of The Bacon, after all. One topic not covered but is extremely important: Todd got a DVD copy of COOL RUNNINGS at a … Continue reading Podcast #104 – The Bacon: Recent Disappointments in the Movies →
August 27, 2018
Podcast #103 – The Bacon: Moviegoing Experience 2018
It’s so hot this summer that the Pigs are spending more time in cool, comfortable air conditioned movie theaters watching The Rock jump into burning buildings and Jason Statham fight ridiculously giant sharks! So, it’s a perfect time to talk about the state of the moviegoing experience in 2018! How can theaters compete with streaming … Continue reading Podcast #103 – The Bacon: Moviegoing Experience 2018 →
July 17, 2018
Podcast #102 – The Bacon: Cold Reading Challenge
The Pigs of Summer are back with a brand-new podcast! Sure, it’s a Bacon episode since Falk is consumed with creating the Golden Age of Television, but remaining Pigs Todd and Skelton are not currently gainfully employed so why not do a podcast! This episode, the Pigs talk a bit about everyone’s favorite unclear-business-plan business, … Continue reading Podcast #102 – The Bacon: Cold Reading Challenge →
June 29, 2018
Podcast #101 – Shark Movies
Spring is in the air and the Film Pigs are in the studio for a brand-new podcast! And it’s a full-on regular episode featuring all three Pigs talking Shark Movies! But we don’t just cover the rise of the Shark-centric movie since the 70s, we also cover the latest movie news, conduct important legal proceedings, … Continue reading Podcast #101 – Shark Movies →
May 02, 2018
Podcast #100 – The Bacon: The Women of Payback
It’s our 100th podcast! And what better way to celebrate than with a Bacon episode since our regular podcast schedule fell through! We KNEW you’d love that idea! This time, Todd and Skelton are talking about the women of Payback, a sequel of sorts to our last episode about The Rock (which we recorded before … Continue reading Podcast #100 – The Bacon: The Women of Payback →
April 26, 2018
Podcast #99 – The Bacon: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Want to hear two middle-aged dum-dums talk about Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson for almost an hour? Then you’re in luck! This episode of The Film Pigs Podcast is a yummy Bacon episode focusing on the rise to stardom of former professional wrestler The Rock. With fellow Pig Falk missing-in-action, it’s up to Todd and Skelton … Continue reading Podcast #99 – The Bacon: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson →
March 14, 2018
Podcast #98 – Straight-to-Video in the Netflix Era
The month of February is short, but this episode of The Film Pigs Podcast is long! Fresh from an Italian dinner and several drinks, the Pigs delve into the streaming era of movies and what that means for traditional straight-to-video fare, as well as future moviegoing in general. Plus, your latest movie news, the not-at-all-important-but-you-get-it-anyway … Continue reading Podcast #98 – Straight-to-Video in the Netflix Era →
February 23, 2018
Podcast #97 – Oscar Nominations 2018
Happy New Year! The Film Pigs survived 2017 and are starting January off right with a brand-new podcast! This time we’re in-the-moment and talking 2018 Oscar nominations! Who are our favorites? Who was snubbed? Does Todd care? All these questions and more are answered, as well as the latest movie news, an unprecedented movie jail … Continue reading Podcast #97 – Oscar Nominations 2018 →
January 24, 2018
Podcast #96 – Movies Year In Review 2017
It’s a Pigsmas miracle! A full-length regular episode with all three hosts present for the holidays! This is bigger than Jesus, who we’re pretty sure doesn’t even have his own podcast! This episode has it all: movie news, a discussion of movies released in 2017, courtroom drama, a direct-to-video review, a game that turns unnecessarily … Continue reading Podcast #96 – Movies Year In Review 2017 →
December 13, 2017
Podcast #95 – How The Hell Is Mel Gibson Flying Under The Radar Right Now?
A brand-new Film Pigs Podcast has arrived just in time to bless your Thanksgiving holiday (you know, the one in the United States everyone likes to pretend isn’t about genocide)! This episode is fun for the whole family, with the Pigs discussing the latest Hollywood abuse scandals and wondering why Mel Gibson seems to be … Continue reading Podcast #95 – How The Hell Is Mel Gibson Flying Under The Radar Right Now? →
November 23, 2017
Podcast #94 – Movies About Summer
Surprise! It’s a brand-new, all hands on deck, regular Film Pigs podcast! Fresh off shooting the latest season of You’re The Worst, Stephen Falk is back and the Pigs are talking movies about summer! Plus, all the usual shenanigans: the sort of latest movie news, a riveting Movie Jail courtroom session, a long-but-so-worth-it bizarre line … Continue reading Podcast #94 – Movies About Summer →
October 05, 2017
Podcast #93 – The Bacon: Title vs. Title
Just barely in time to soothe Todd’s borderline OCD, the Film Pigs are proud to present a fresh episode of The Bacon! This time, we’re talking about movies that have the same title and Todd actually prepared a list of them and everything, so this is almost like a real show. There’s also talk of … Continue reading Podcast #93 – The Bacon: Title vs. Title →
October 01, 2017
Podcast #92 – The Bacon: Rad Daly on “10”
The follow up to our commentary on “10”, this edition of The Film Pigs Podcast is a Bacon episode focusing on Rad Daly, who played Dudley Moore’s son in the 1979 film. Todd and Skelton quiz Rad on life as a child star of the 70s and 80s and get more than they bargained for. … Continue reading Podcast #92 – The Bacon: Rad Daly on “10” →
August 25, 2017
Commentary #52 - 10 (1979)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. The Film Pigs are back with a brand-new movie commentary! This time we're watching the classic 1979 sex comedy "10" starring Dudley Moore and Bo Derek. What's super exciting about this commentary is Todd and Skelton are watching the movie with actor Rad Daly, who played Dudley Moore's son in the movie! Thanks to Blake Edwards, "10" is probably the classiest of the 70s/80s boobie shows, and has some truly great comic bits that glue together the story of a man who abandons his family to stalk a married woman all the way to Mexico. But he's a CHARMING creep, so we guess that makes it okay in the 70s? Boobs!
August 25, 2017
Podcast #91 – The Bacon: Stephen King Movies
You didn’t ask for it and you got it: an episode of The Bacon! With fellow Film Pig Stephen Falk off at his real job making critically acclaimed, high quality television, Todd and Skelton are left on their own, drinking afternoon Scotch and yelling into a microphone. This time, they’re talking about the movies of … Continue reading Podcast #91 – The Bacon: Stephen King Movies →
June 27, 2017
Podcast #90 – Movie Viewing Tier Systems
Nothing says springtime like a Film Pigs podcast! This episode, the Pigs are talking Movie Viewing Tier Systems, or how do you decide what to see in theaters and what to watch at home? Plus, the latest and greatest movie news, an in-depth prosecution for movie jail, a bizarre line reading so short you’ll miss … Continue reading Podcast #90 – Movie Viewing Tier Systems →
May 11, 2017
Podcast #89 – Sea Monsters!
April showers bring May flowers, and also cause sea levels to rise which is why this podcast we’re talking sea monsters! This episode also marks the return of a beloved segment that’s been missing-in-action for a while. Plus, your usual carefully-sourced movie news, courtroom drama, bizarre line readings, and a game that tries to take … Continue reading Podcast #89 – Sea Monsters! →
April 21, 2017
Podcast #88 – Cinematic Universe Writers Rooms
The Film Pigs are back, well before the end of March, with a brand-new episode! This time we’re talking Cinematic Universe Writers Rooms and what that means for the endless amount of comic book/screeching robot/paramilitary toy/classic monster movies that are in our future. Plus, the latest movie news, a surprising twist in the courtroom, a … Continue reading Podcast #88 – Cinematic Universe Writers Rooms →
March 23, 2017
Podcast #87 – Bill Paxton
It’s March, which can only mean one thing: it’s time for the February Film Pigs podcast! This one’s bittersweet, as the Pigs discuss the late, great Bill Paxton and what his iconic roles have meant to us. Plus, the usual nonsense, including news, games, line readings, and a surprise Movie Jail twist!
March 01, 2017
Podcast #86 – Movies About Politics
Happy New Year! The Film Pigs are back with a brand-new podcast for 2017! This time, things get serious with a discussion about politics in movies, which is in no way motivated by the impending collapse of reason and civilization. We also get you up to date on the latest movie news, put a celebrity … Continue reading Podcast #86 – Movies About Politics →
January 12, 2017
Podcast #85 – The Bacon: Skelton Recommends Holiday Movies
It’s the very, very end of November and the Film Pigs just can’t let this magical month pass without some sort of podcast! We had a proper show ready to record but real-life got in the way, so instead Todd Robert Anderson presents another edition of The Bacon! This time, he’s assembled a list of … Continue reading Podcast #85 – The Bacon: Skelton Recommends Holiday Movies →
November 30, 2016
Podcast #84 – Movies Made By Criminals, Or At Least Suspicious People And/Or Jerks: Can You Separate Art From The Artist?
Boo! It’s a new Film Pigs Podcast just in time for Halloween! And the show has absolutely nothing to do with Halloween! But it’s got all three Pigs together again for a proper show with all the regular segments and hardly any technical glitches at all! A Halloween miracle! Enjoy an in-depth discussion on separating … Continue reading Podcast #84 – Movies Made By Criminals, Or At Least Suspicious People And/Or Jerks: Can You Separate Art From The Artist? →
October 28, 2016
Podcast #83 – Death of the Movie Star Vehicle
It’s the end of September and that means a brand-new Film Pigs podcast featuring the return of Stephen Falk! This time, we’re talking the death of the movie star vehicle, the latest movie news, courtroom drama, an ultimately too-long bizarre line reading, games, and the long-awaited return of DTV Corner with Todd’s real-life cousin and … Continue reading Podcast #83 – Death of the Movie Star Vehicle →
September 30, 2016
Podcast #82 – The Bacon: Speaking Seagal (Code of Honor)
And so it all comes to an end. Thankfully, this is the third and final “after show” for the Film Pigs’ Summer of Seagal! In this Bacon episode, Todd and Skelton discuss CODE OF HONOR, the third Steven Seagal movie they’ve watched this summer. Todd has spent his money on these movies instead of saving … Continue reading Podcast #82 – The Bacon: Speaking Seagal (Code of Honor) →
August 30, 2016
Commentary #51 - Code of Honor (2016)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. It's finally here! The END of the Summer of Seagal! This time, it's a commentary for CODE OF HONOR - a movie where Steven Seagal plays some guy who kills people for some reason. However, in a surprise twist, Seagal seems to be wearing some kind of backwards ball cap instead of his standard-issue do-rag. This is actually the best of the three Seagal movies we watched this summer, but it's still terrible. And Skelton is still mad at Todd for making him do this.
August 30, 2016
Podcast #81 – Actors Who Phone It In
Surprise! It's a brand-new, non-Seagal Film Pigs Podcast! In a welcome break from the Summer of Seagal, former Film Pig Andy Kamenetzky (@KamBrothers) joins Todd and Skelton for a riveting discussion about actors who phone it in. Plus, movie news, courtroom drama, bizarre line readings, fun and games, and oh so much more! (And yes, Todd is insisting on finishing our Seagal trilogy this summer, but Andy very wisely refused to participate.)
July 19, 2016
Podcast #80 – The Bacon: Speaking Seagal (The Asian Connection)
Here we go again, dumbly following in the footsteps of successful television after-shows, devoting an entire podcast to discussing the movie we just watched for a commentary. The Asian Connection is yet another direct-to-video Steven Seagal release that, while still awful, is far more palatable than the previous Speaking Seagal picture Sniper: Special Ops. And just … Continue reading Podcast #80 – The Bacon: Speaking Seagal (The Asian Connection) →
June 27, 2016
Commentary #50 - The Asian Connection (2016)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: If movie starts with fade in on water, start commentary 10 seconds after starting movie (chapter 1 for DVD/BD). If movie starts with Momentum Pictures logo, start commentary 21 seconds after starting movie. The Summer of Seagal plows ahead full steam with a commentary on The Asian Connection! Two dumb bank robbers run afoul of Seagal's criminal empire and they have to do something for him but really end up stealing money from him and he gets angry and Tom Sizemore has a story credit but does not appear in this movie. And there's one pretty OK action shot. Stay tuned for our companion show, Speaking Seagal, on our podcast.
June 27, 2016
Podcast #79 – The Bacon: Speaking Seagal (Sniper: Special Ops)
The Film Pigs follow in the grand tradition of television networks that wanted a cheap way to retain their hit show audiences for an extra half hour of advertising sales by launching our first-ever after show: Speaking Seagal! This episode of The Bacon is a companion to our commentary of the movie Sniper Special Ops, part of our innovative summer series to kill time while Falk is shooting the latest season of You're the Worst. Watch your six!
May 29, 2016
Commentary #49 - Sniper: Special Ops (2016)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. The Film Pigs are Oscar Mike with a brand new commentary! With fellow Pig Stephen Falk missing-in-action, it's up to Todd and Skelton to cowboy up and finish the mission. But this latest Seagal direct-to-video mumble show is a relentless enemy and no man escapes unscathed. Once you've finished this commentary, have a listen to our after-show Speaking Seagal on our podcast. It's a dumb gimmick we'll be doing all summer long! Welcome to the suck!
May 29, 2016
Podcast #78 – Current State of Movies (2016)
We're back just before the end of April with a brand-new podcast! No showers, no flowers, just lots of jaw flapping all about the movies. We've got news, we've got a discussion about the current state of cinema, we've got courtroom drama and bizarre line readings, we've got a game of honest-to-God actual trivia, and so much more!
April 29, 2016
Podcast #77 – Fantasy Movies
The Pigs make up for no podcast in February with TWO podcasts in March! What generous souls! This time, the Pigs are talking fantasy movies (the sword & sorcery kind, not the porno kind, Todd). There's also the usual collection of favorites: movie news, a political movie jail, a super-cool bizarre line reading, a game of chance/knowledge/dumbness, and so much more!
March 18, 2016
Podcast #76 – Rotten Tomatoes 0% Movies
We almost did it! We almost recorded a podcast for February, but even with the extra day this leap year we managed to screw it up. Anyway, here's an early March podcast! This episode we're talking movies that have achieved the dreaded 0% fresh rating from critics on Rotten Tomatoes.com. Plus, movie news, movie jail, a double bizarre line reading, a honest-to-goodness game with actual rules, and more!
March 02, 2016
Podcast #75 – Animated Features For Adults
It's the first podcast of 2016, people! And boy, do the Pigs have a great one for you this time. We're talking animated features made for adults, we're talking the latest and greatest movie news, we're talking a special parole hearings edition of Movie Jail, we're talking bizarre line readings, we're talking a game that is a legitimate quiz and not some silly make-em-up we usually do, and we're talking so much more. Because this is a podcast. It would be weird if there was no talking.
January 30, 2016
Podcast #74 – The Bacon: Why Was This Popular? + Golden Globes
With Skelton down with holiday plague, sommelier Stephen Falk takes fellow Film Pig Todd Robert Anderson on a sophisticated journey of wines, inexplicably acclaimed movies, Golden Globes, and much more on this special presentation of The Bacon. Also, they talk about going to a strip club in the Valley like a couple of creepy dads.
December 18, 2015
Podcast #73 – TV Shows That Have Become Movies
Happy Turkey Day everyone! The Film Pigs are back with a podcast for November. This time, it's the Mirror Universe version of last month's podcast: we're talking TV shows that have become movies. Plus movie news culled by 40's street urchins using questionable language, a long overdue courtroom drama, some genuine weirdness in line readings, a spectacular game that makes Todd mad right from the get-go, and so much more!
November 20, 2015
Podcast #72 – Movies That Have Become TV Shows
BOO! New podcast for October! This time the Pigs are joined by special guest J.D. Walsh as he starts his three-week odyssey of guesting on our shows (he'll be appearing on our GeekNation web show starting next week). This episode, we're talking movies that have become TV shows, the complete opposite of an episode topic suggested by listener @LiveFromKevin. We have no idea why Todd is being so passive-aggressive, Kevin. BONUS: J.D. has directed a great short documentary about the lives of commercial actors called THE TALENT. Check it out!
October 30, 2015
Podcast #71 – Damonsplaining Matt Damon
You didn't think we could do it, but we did it! We got a podcast recorded for September! You don't have to say it, we know we're heroes! This episode, we take on the hot-button issue of the dumb things Matt Damon has been saying recently. Because he's starting to sound like an old man yelling at kids on his lawn. Also, there's water on Mars so he should be fine there.
September 30, 2015
Podcast #70 – Movies About Old People
Stephen Falk is back! Stephen Falk is back! That's right, is a brand new Film Pigs Podcast with all three Pigs! Movie news, a riveting discussion, courtroom drama with a twist sentencing, Wilford Brimley, a game of wit and guile and terrible old person impressions, and so much more! Chewie, we're home!
August 28, 2015
Podcast #69 – Dance Movies
Don't panic! This is not a mistake! Yes, this is the SECOND Film Pigs podcast in the SAME MONTH! Up is down! Left is right! And Todd isn't sure what show he's doing! But that won't stop the Pigs from bringing you a show chock full of the wholesome goodness you've come to expect from cranky middle-aged guys: mostly out of date and hastily assembled movie news, a fascinating themed discussion, a lazy bit where we look at stuff on the internet and tell you about it, a bizarre line reading, and some other fun tidbits!
July 28, 2015
Podcast #68 – Spider-Man Casting Backlash
We almost did it! We almost got a podcast recorded for June! Then we didn't. Now it's July and here's the podcast we tried to do in June. Todd and Skelton are back with a new mostly-regular-style podcast while Falk is away working hard on television for you all to enjoy this fall! The best part of this one is a cold reading where Todd has to do all the work! Take that, Todd!
July 08, 2015
Podcast #67 – Mad Max: Fury Road
Because no one demanded it: the Film Pigs are back with a brand-new podcast talking exclusively about the film Mad Max Fury Road! Well, not exclusively. There's other stuff too, like movie news, a bizarre line reading, the return of the cold reading segment, a brand-new bit where the Pigs poke at the Netflix catalog, but mostly it's talking about the 4th Mad Max movie and all the wonderful apocalypseness it contains.
May 25, 2015
Podcast #66 – Creative Differences
April showers bring May flowers AND a brand new Film Pigs Podcast! This time we're talking folks leaving projects due to "creative differences" and all that those magic words entail.* Plus, serious courtroom drama, some sort of screaming about corn, and a neck-and-neck game of knowledge and luck! And some really agitated dogs barking in the distance. We don't know how to filter that out. (*This episode was recorded before Josh Trank dropped out of the Star Wars director's chair.)
May 04, 2015
Podcast #65 – Foreign Language Films
It's a brand-new Film Pigs Podcast for April! We've worked oh-so-hard this episode to bring you the finest in internet yammerings about the movies: stunning movie news scoops, an alarmingly highbrow discussion of foreign language films, another sentencing first for movie jail, a boisterous line reading, a delightful game that upsets Todd even though he's been doing pretty well at them lately, and so much more! There's even an added bonus: a large technical difficulty! Enjoy!
April 20, 2015
Commentary #48 - After Earth (2013)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. It's the first new Pigs movie commentary in a long, long time to feature all three pigs! And how do we choose to celebrate this special occasion? By sitting through the Will/Jaden Smith starring, M. Knight Shyamalan directed AFTER EARTH! It's the timeless story of a rich movie star using his influence to get a clunky science fiction movie made featuring his son. Who can't relate to that? So, curl up in your favorite space hammock and enjoy! Watch out for the meatball!
March 15, 2015
Podcast #64 – Women in Comedy Movies
You didn't think we were going to let February end without a brand-new podcast, did you? You did? That's fair, we're not good with scheduling. But you get a new podcast, anyway! This one has everything: movie news, movie discussion, exciting games, a surprisingly sober and thoughtful Todd, plus the return of fan-favorite* Tonn Slingdog. (*There is no basis for this claim.)
February 26, 2015
Podcast #63 – Dump Months 2015
First podcast of 2015! The Film Pigs are off to strong start to the new year with a full regular podcast that includes special guest Chris McGuire! This show has everything: movie news, a spirited discussion of movies released during the Jan-Feb dump window, serious courtroom drama, line readings, a delightful game, and everyone's favorite belligerent Todd! What more could you ask for?
January 30, 2015
Podcast #62 – The 20 Highest-Grossing Movies of 2014
The sleigh bells are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE! That's right, Santa has crept down your chimney and left you the best present ever: a brand-new Film Pigs Podcast! This holiday miracle has got everything: 10+ day old movie news, a riveting review of the year's biggest films, a somber courtroom drama, strange actor mouth words, a breathtaking game, and enough holiday spirit for 3 Scrooges! Merry ChristKwanzaaChanukahOrYouKnowWhateverMas!
December 25, 2014
Podcast #61 – The Theatre Going Experience
Seasons greetings Film Pigs listeners! We couldn't let the holiday season pass you buy without a new podcast! And a regular episode to boot! It's a Christmas miracle! Unless you don't believe in miracles, in which case it's just a happy event in an otherwise chaotic universe! News, intense discussion, legal proceedings, games and more await!
December 15, 2014
Podcast #60 – The Bacon: When Great Comedians Stop Being Funny
Because YOU demanded it*, it's another episode of The Bacon! As part of Todd's desperate attempt to clock in 12 podcast episodes in 2014, he and Skelton day drink and talk about once great comedians who stopped being funny. Plus, listener-submitted movie news and a whispering bit that is used too much. Plus, some nonsense about Steven Seagal doing dinner theater. (*No one demanded this. We are lying.)
November 17, 2014
Podcast #59 – Parody Movies
It's the start of Tara & Dave Week here at Film Pigs! That's right, Tara Ariano and David T. Cole of Previously.TV and the Extra Hot Great podcast are our special guests on a brand-new regular episode! This time we're talking parody movies, the latest movie news, Tara puts a celebrity on trial in Movie Jail while Dave brings us his Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, Falk and Tara bond over Todd's completely ruleless and unfair game, and so much more! So much more, you guys! TARA & DAVE WEEK ALERT: Keep an eye out this Thursday when Tara and Dave are the guests on our web show, Film Pigs on GeekNation!
October 06, 2014
Podcast #58 – Disaster Movies
We're back! Some might say better than ever! Others might tell us go to hell! Any way you look at it, the Film Pigs Podcast is here to bring you the finest in movie news, discussion, and light-hearted fun! Except this episode was recorded a few weeks ago, so we're just making up the news this time. And Todd is still very, very angry about losing the game in the last episode, so the fun isn't so much "light-hearted" as "at Todd's expense." Enjoy!
September 17, 2014
Podcast #57 – Second-Tier Comic Book Movies
It's another triumphant return for the Film Pigs! Believe it or not, all 3 pigs are back with a regular podcast! This one has everything: breaking movie news, a riveting discussion, social justice, strange line readings, a mind-numbing cold reading, a trivia quiz, Todd's senseless rage at the trivia quiz, and more! You're welcome, internet!
August 21, 2014
Podcast #56 – The Bacon: Gabriel Olds’ IMDb Page
Once more, like kids cramming just before a morning quiz, the Film Pigs sneak in a podcast at the end of the month! This time, it's an episode of The Bacon, featuring friend-of-the-show and handsomey actor Gabriel Olds. We flip through Gabe's IMDb page and get him to reminisce on jobs past, including the time he received a backhanded compliment from Arthur Miller himself! (Also, take a trip down memory lane with our alternate commentary on The Animal Room, featuring Gabe!)
June 30, 2014
Podcast #55 – Death of the B Movie
Just under the wire, the Film Pigs are back with a podcast for May! And it's not even a cheap Bacon episode! Can you believe it? Movie news, a full topic discussion, movie jail, line readings, quizzes, special guest, this episode has everything we normally have and less! Because Falk is working. So it's just Todd and Skelton. They are old and tired.
May 31, 2014
Commentary #47 - Commando (Director's Cut) (1985)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Remember when the Film Pigs said we'd do a commentary for Commando? We lied! We did a commentary for the Director's Cut of Commando! Yes, there's a director's cut! No, we don't know why, either! But none of that matters because Todd and Skelton are joined once again by David T. Cole of Previously.TV and the Extra Hot Great podcast! There is insightful commentary! There are delicious snacks! There is a general inability to refrain from using exclamation points! Commando Director's Cut! (And if you haven't heard it already, check out the Film Pigs Podcast featuring David!)
April 29, 2014
Podcast #54 – Marvel vs. DC Comic Book Movies
The Film Pigs are back with a brand-new podcast for April. This episode is a regular podcast but minus Film Pig Stephen Falk, who is off having a successful career. However, the remaining unemployed Pigs are joined by special guest David T. Cole of Previously.TV and the fabulous Extra Hot Great podcast! Movie news, scintillating discussion, legal drama, and a challenging game are all packed into this episode. Plus, for the first time ever, a guest ambushes the Pigs with a surprise segment! (And for more of the great David T. Cole, give a listen to our commentary on Commando!)
April 28, 2014
Podcast #53 – The Bacon: What Have You Seen Lately?
March has been really busy for us, okay? We really wanted to do a regular episode but the month just got away from us. So Todd and Skelton did a Bacon episode so there was at least something for the month. Why are you looking at us like that? We did our best. Come on, you guys, let's all be cool about this.
March 31, 2014
Podcast #52 – The Curious Case of Shia LaBeouf
February brings us a brand-new Film Pigs Podcast! As if that wasn't amazing enough, this episode features special guest J.D. Ryznar (@JDRyznar)! How is this possible? J.D. stopped by to guest star on our GeekNation web show and stayed for the magic of the podcast (Scotch). So, enjoy a podcast chock full of movie news, scintillating discussion, celebrity trials, bizarre line readings, challenging games, massive run-on sentences, and the first ever cross-Pigs media callback/forward jokes!
February 24, 2014
Podcast #51 – The Year In Movies 2013
It's the first full podcast of 2014! The Pigs jump straight into the new year by taking a look back at the movies of last year. They also drink Scotch, review the latest movie news, conduct a special review session of movie jail, have a huge technical issue at a crucial moment during a trivia game, and much, much more!* (*This is mostly a lie.)
January 27, 2014
Podcast #50 – The Bacon: Movies Skelton Is Looking Forward To In 2014
Like celebrity deaths, the Film Pigs like to do everything in 3's for the holidays. So sit yourself down with your Xmas leftovers for the last Film Pigs podcast of 2013! We made a serious effort to put together a full episode for you and failed. We made less of an effort to put together a Bacon episode for you, but it's worth it for the high-level wordplay about nuts and Todd's palpable hatred of that rapping Christmas family.
December 27, 2013
Commentary #46 - Turbulence (1997)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. It's just doesn't feel like the holiday season unless a lunatic Ray Liotta is trying to kill you on an airplane! Celebrate Christmas with Film Pigs Todd & Skelton as they settle down for a screening of the 90's disaster-thriller TURBULENCE! Get yourself a mug of nog and sync up the commentary with the movie so you can listen to the Pigs marvel at the signature "Crazy" Ray Liotta bad guy performance, the constantly-bewildered Lauren Holly, and the most Christmas decorations ever seen on a major airline flight.
December 23, 2013
Podcast #49 – Young Adult Movies
It's beginning to look a lot like...Todd is extremely upset on a fantastic new episode of the Film Pigs Podcast! This one has everything: movie news, a spirited discussion of young adult movies, movie jail drama, an amazing bizarre line reading, a challenging game, and Todd Robert Anderson completely losing his mind. Fun for the whole family*! (*Do not let your family listen to this podcast.)
December 06, 2013
Podcast #48 – Animals In Movies
Can it be? Another Film Pigs Podcast in the same month? And a regular episode to boot? Not any of this Bacon junk Todd and Skelton keep pushing on you? You're not imagining things, people, this is a brand-new podcast in the classic format you know and love. Well, except for the fact that Falk and Skelton wind up Todd more than usual. And Falk didn't prepare his own work. And Skelton didn't have important information available (FYI, Allen Garfield played Max Wolfe).
November 22, 2013
Podcast #47 – The Bacon: Movies We’ve Seen In 2013
You can say a lot of things about the Film Pigs, but you can never say we're consistent or on time with anything. Thanks to Falk having a functioning career, Todd and Skelton are left to their own devices and deliver a Bacon episode discussing the movies they've actually gone to theaters to see this year. Note: this episode was recorded before the release of ENDER'S GAME, which got this review from Todd: "I had low expectations, but it was way better than I thought it would be."
November 04, 2013
Podcast #46 – Movies About Infidelity
The Film Pigs return for a last-minute September podcast - this time as serious adults discussing movies about infidelity, although it's likely somebody will ask about boobs. This episodes includes all your favorites - or maybe not, we don't know: movie news, the high tension courtroom drama of Movie Jail, a bizarre line reading, a numbers-based trivia game, and more!
September 30, 2013
Podcast #45 – Favorite Movie Weapons
Happy Sunday, everybody! After you go to church, how about you relax with a brand new Film Pigs Podcast? This one has everything: intros, movie news, a themed discussion, courtroom drama, strange sound clips, a game both challenging and entertaining and completely fair no matter what Todd says, and more!
September 08, 2013
Podcast #44 – 10 Biggest Box Office Bombs
Oh, my. The Film Pigs are back with an epic-length podcast. Fresh off taping 2 back-to-back episodes of their GeekNation web show, the Pigs end the night with an industrial-sized podcast before Todd Anderson leaves for the family summer vacation. This episode has everything: movie news, a fresh bizarre line reading, a first for Movie Jail, a rousing game of Pitch Me!, and special guests Alixandrée Antoine and Jonathan Salvia. Plus, the punchy-after-taping-too-many-shows-at-once Pigs leaning too close to their mics and yelling at each other!
June 24, 2013
Podcast #43 – Tom Cruise
Hey, the Film Pigs are all still in the same country for some reason so we figured, why not do another podcast? This episode we're delving into the enigmatic movie star and majestic runner Tom Cruise. Plus movie news, a heartfelt session of Movie Jail, an amazing Cold Reading, a simply nail-biting Quiz that's neck-and-neck until the end, and more!
June 04, 2013
Podcast #42 – Movie Vehicles
We. Are. Back! That's right, all three Film Pigs are finally back together after a long separation for all-new podcasts, starting with this episode on Movie Vehicles! This episode has got it all: the latest movie news, a riveting discussion, an impassioned courtroom drama, a weird line reading, general good-timeyness, and Todd getting really upset that the dumb game Skelton made up is totally rigged against him.
May 15, 2013
Podcast #41 – The Bacon: Going to the Movies
Todd and Falk talk about the experience of attending movies at the theater. For an hour. Enjoy. Hope this makes up for the fact that we forgot to do a podcast in February. Do you people even really care? You don't. If you did, you would send us money.
March 30, 2013
Podcast #40 – 40th Anniversary Special!
Okay, it's not really that special. But to celebrate the current trend of sex romps at the movies, Todd and Stee chat about the history of films with lots of boobs in them. Unfortunately, this is a podcast so you don't get to see any of the boobs that they are talking about. But don't you fret, because there is also some up-to-the-minute movie news, a star who just won't die hard is put on trial for crimes against cinema, Martin Short makes the grade for the Nic Cage Memorial Line Reading, and much, much more! (We really want Skelton to come back. It's kinda lonely without him.)
March 15, 2013
Podcast #39 – Movie Computers
The Film Pigs are back with their first podcast of 2013. Steve Skelton is still lost in Poland, but Steve Falk and Television's Todd Robert Anderson press on with Podcast #39. They break the latest in movie news, discuss computers in the movies, do a cold reading from a lost eighties classic, and Todd does his best with some trivia. Also, Brad Dourif treats us to an epic monologue about rats in Vietnam. Now, that's entertainment about entertainment!
February 01, 2013
Commentary #45 - Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. TV's Todd and Not TV's Falk sit down to enjoy the bizarre treat that is Gremlins 2. Half way through the movie they lose interest and start going through Falk's "Movie Diary" which is a list of everything he saw in the theater since 1990 (and each entry includes who he saw the movies with...listen to Todd's mind get blown when he realizes what movies he has seen with Steve! Amaaaaaaaaaaaazing!) Also, enjoy the sweet sounds of these two idiots sipping on soup.
December 27, 2012
Podcast #38 – Holiday Movies
With Stephen Skelton shanghaied in Poland, the Pigs that remain Stateside sit down and bang out the first structured podcast in months. That's right! This ain't no bacon...this is a rump roast...or something. Steve Falk and Todd Anderson discuss what makes a good holiday movie, why so many of them are bad, and why there are so many horror movies about Christmas. As if that kind of incredible conversation that nobody has ever had before isn't enough, an unbelievably unpredictable round of movie jail will leave your head spinning, and then there's a holiday edition of the Nic Cage Memorial Line Reading, AND a trivia game created by a listener! I don't think a movie lover could ask for a better Christmas present! (Now, if Skelton was in country, there would be a time code list of the segments so you could skip ahead to your favorite ones. But he's not here. Todd is lazy. So you are just going to have to wade through the boring parts to get to the gold nuggets. Tough shit.)
December 26, 2012
Podcast #37 – The Bacon: Todd’s Movie Career
Yes, it's another Bacon episode. Yes, we're talking about Todd again. Cut us some slack, we've been working and Falk's been stuck in NY without power. Although, Todd usually has pretty good stories about shows he's worked on, so this isn't so bad.
November 09, 2012
Commentary #44 - Total Recall (1990)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Get your ass to Mars! The Film Pigs are back with a new alternate commentary for the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic TOTAL RECALL! Given the super-dull remake, this exercise in 90s over-the-topness is a breath of fresh air (Cohaagen!). And by "air" we mean a preposterous storyline, ludicrous blood-squib violence, a truly impressive amount of scene-ending quips, and the smoldering rage of Canada's own negative emotion repository Michael Ironside. Open your miiiiiiinnnnd!
September 25, 2012
Podcast #36 – The Bacon: Sampling Todd’s DVDs
Once more, unto The Bacon, dear friends! Still flying in missing Pig formation, this episode of the Film Pigs Podcast focuses on Todd Robert Anderson's terrible mental illness: his obsession with collecting DVDs and Blu-rays. Sequestered in a room lined with shelves of plastic discs, Skelton pulls 12 random movies and demands Todd explain himself before it's too late. It's kind of like Intervention, but very lazy and nothing is really accomplished.
September 18, 2012
Podcast #35 – The Bacon: Freddy vs. Jason vs. Michael Myers vs. Pinhead vs. Leatherface vs. Jigsaw
This is truly an epic episode of The Bacon on The Film Pigs Podcast. It took Todd nearly 20 minutes to conceive of this ultimate showdown. And the nice thing is, we recorded this episode in his office, where there was a multitude of DVDs to reference for accuracy. Which we did once, because we are lazy and don't like to reach for things on high shelves.
August 22, 2012
Podcast #34 – The Bacon: Favorite Movie Robots
On another very exclusive episode of The Bacon, Film Pigs Todd Robert Anderson and Stephen Skelton discuss their very favorite movie robots. Everything from Star Wars to Silent Running, from Hardware to Saturn 3, from Runaway to some other movie with really dumb low-budget robots, is covered. Plus, the never-before revealed reason as to why fellow Film Pig Stephen Falk drove cross-country to New York from Los Angeles instead of flying!
August 07, 2012
Podcast #33 – The Bacon: The Indiana Jones Movies
Despondent over losing one of their own to the metropolis called New York City (in the movies, Metropolis), the Film Pigs scramble for a comforting subject in the form of Indiana Jones. This podcast is an episode of The Bacon, where the Pigs delve deep into a single subject, talk it straight into the ground, and then keep talking some more. With special guest Hilary Anderson and music by Adam Blau.
July 25, 2012
Commentary #43 - The Room (2003)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. The Film Pigs did not hit her! We did not--oh, hi, you guys. We did not see you there. What are you doing up here on the roof, just sitting with the football and thinking? Ha ha! That is so great! Maybe later after we are finished working at the bank we can get all our friends together for a party where we watch The Room. It is a really intense movie, guys. Full of love, friendship, betrayal, awkward nudity, football tossing, locations filmed without the proper permits, visible weight fluctuations, and rooftop green screens. You are tearing us apart, Lisa!
July 03, 2012
Podcast #32 – Gory Special Effects
We're back! Better late than never! Unless you hate us, in which case this is terrible news! This time, we're talking "gags", or gory special effects. You know, the real gross stuff that gives you that quality nausea you can't get from computer generated barf. Plus, the latest useless movie news, a movie jail trial with a surprise twist ending, a bizarre line reading, a trivia game that is actually a honest-to-God trivia game and not some stupid nonsense made up by Skelton, and more!
June 25, 2012
Podcast #31 – Cop Movies
Here we go again! After the stars align in our schedules, the Film Pigs return with a brand-new podcast! This time we're talking a Hollywood staple: the Cop Movie. Expect lots of loose cannons being too close to the case, along with Movie News, Movie Jail, the Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, a fresh Straight to DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog, a Cold Reading, fun and games, a squawking bird, a raccoon in a tree, and Falk's agitated dog.
May 30, 2012
Podcast #30 – College Movies
2012 being the end times and all, the Film Pigs figured we should do at least one more full-on podcast before the apocalypse. Enjoy while you can the Film Pigs back to their regular shenanigans: Movie News guaranteed to be fresh within the last 336 hours, an in-depth discussion of College Movies, a legally-binding session of Movie Jail, line readings, cold readings, trivia, and more!
May 08, 2012
Podcast #29 – The Bacon: Scary Animal Movies
Poor Tonn Slingdog showed up to do his usual DTV Corner segment, but found out he was alone. No Pigs showed. In an attempt to respect the podcast's listeners in a way the usual hosts clearly do not, Tonn yammers for nearly half an hour about some horror movies featuring killer animals he vaguely remembers. Rambling and without a real point, at least this Pigs Podcast is...well, here.
April 20, 2012
Podcast #28 – The Bacon: Road House
Once more unto The Bacon! We assumed the last episode of the Film Pigs Podcast featuring The Bacon would be so well received we went ahead and immediately recorded another one, Matrix-style! Since we've run out of hosts to interview, this episode focuses on one movie and one movie only: Road House. Possibly the greatest B-movie ever made, and a personal favorite of the hosts, you will surely be enthralled by the discussion until a polar bear falls on you. (Music by Adam Blau.)
April 03, 2012
Podcast #27 – The Bacon: Todd Robert Anderson
Here comes a fresh episode of The Bacon! This time, we're focusing on the maddening psyche of Film Pig Todd Robert Anderson. Why is he an actor? No, seriously, why is he an actor? How does he approach his craft? When is it kind of pointless to use "craft" on set? What movies excited him as a child? Why don't movies excite him in the same way now? What is the root of his terrible DVD collecting problem? Why won't we stop asking him so many questions? Plus, where's Falk? (As always, awesome music by Adam Blau.)
March 22, 2012
Podcast #26 – Movies About Movies
The Film Pigs are back for another podcast, following an endless series of post-Oscars parties (FYI, that little dog from The Artist has a terrible cocaine habit). This episode, we bring you up to date with the latest Movie News, including our final word on the Academy Awards. Then we jump into a brand-new segment highlighting favorite comments from our fans before we hit this episode's theme: Movies About Movies. Plus all the usual fun stuff, including a highly personal Movie Jail where the expert witness is ONE OF THE FILM PIGS!
March 01, 2012
Podcast #25 – Steven Seagal
You might think you're above podcasts, but you're not above ours. The Film Pigs take on an icon of B-movie action this episode when they examine the career of Steven Seagal! Plus, only the latest Movie News, a surprising-then-totally-not-surprising prosecution in Movie Jail, a truly incoherent Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, a special Cold Reading, an amazing fan-suggested game, and (not much) more!
February 18, 2012
Podcast #24 – The Coen Brothers
A little late but worth the wait, the Film Pigs are back and we're talking Coen Brothers - their movies we love, the ones we don't get, and the few that just don't work. Plus, a long talked about but never before accused addition to Movie Jail, a very Stormarey bizarre line reading, the triumphant return of Straight to DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog, a trivia game that's actually a real trivia game and not total nonsense, and more! THERE'S ALWAYS MORE!
February 04, 2012
Podcast #23 – Zombies!
The Film Pigs are back and we're talking zombies! Slow zombies, fast zombies, angry zombies, blasé zombies, and even a few things that may or may not be zombies. And, yes, it's impossible to talk about zombie movies without eventually discussing The Walking Dead, so add TV zombies in there as well. Plus, more of the stuff you love (or hate, we really don't know): Movie News, Movie Jail, The Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, a Cold Reading, a rousing game of What's Your Opinion?!, and - somehow, impossibly - not a single Cranberries joke.
January 19, 2012
Podcast #22 – War Movies
It's 2012 and the Film Pigs are back with a brand-new podcast not even the Mayans predicted! First up this year is a round table on War Movies! Plus, an international Movie Jail, an epic Bizarre Line Reading, the return of the Cold Reading, a trivia game that's actually a trivia game and not just silly nonsense, and more! Prince Henry Stout!
January 05, 2012
Commentary #42 - Die Hard 2 (1990)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Happy holidays, everyone! It's a Christmas Miracle! The Film Pigs round out 2011 with a treat that's sure to please everyone: a commentary for the marginally holiday-themed Bruce Willis classic, Die Hard 2! Or, as it's known in the Philippines, the UK, and on USA video boxes - Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Because nothing says "we put minimal effort into thinking this whole thing through" like an uninspired subtitle. PLEASE NOTE: you may wish to put the kids to bed before screening, unless you want to expose your precious little ones to William Sadler's inexplicably naked Tai chi routine. You've been warned.
December 22, 2011
Podcast #21 – The Bacon: Stephen J. Skelton
We're back with another exciting episode of The Bacon, where the Film Pigs veer off their regular format to focus in on a particular subject. This episode, we batten down the hatches and steam full speed ahead into Stephen Skelton, even though we know it's very rude to batten down hatches and run full steam into someone. Insightful questions lead to perplexing answers about how someone could possibly drive band nerds away with something even nerdier, an example of how Roger Moore is awesome and Jean-Claude Van Damme is kind of a dick, and a truly haunting selection for a threesome.
December 21, 2011
Podcast #20 – Female-Driven Action Movies
It's a return to form as the Film Pigs discuss Female-Driven Action Movies and why Hollywood doesn't make more of them. Plus, hot-off-the-presses movie news, a precedent-setting session of Movie Jail, the Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line reading, a highly-stressful game of Taglines!, and TV's Todd Robert Anderson gets everybody a beer!
December 09, 2011
Podcast #19 – The Bacon: Stephen Falk
This episode, the Film Pigs Podcast takes off in a bold new direction with The Bacon! We cast off our regular podcast format and delve deep into the mysterious psyche of Stephen Falk, whom we get to know on a deep personal level within the confines of the 37-minute running time. No detail is spared, including how many copies of pornographic VHS tapes he's been gifted with over the years.
November 23, 2011
Podcast #18 – John Carpenter
What do you have to be thankful for this holiday season? Why, an extended episode of The Film Pigs Podcast, of course! This episode, the Pigs discuss the work of John Carpenter (including why Kurt Russell is awesome and underrated), puzzle over movies they hate but everybody else loves in a new segment, hear from their good friend Tonn Slingdog, create dazzling movie ideas in a rousing game of Pitch Me, and more! So very much more! My God, there's so much, very much, more.
November 11, 2011
Commentary #41 - Cabin Fever 2 (2009)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Happy Halloween everybody! The Film Pigs are proud to present another holiday-related commentary, this time of the classic flesh-eating sequel Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever. The movie so full of fever, they had to use the word "fever" twice. So you don't forget there's some kind of fever. Pay close attention to the snacks in this commentary - they are particularly vile and you should approach them in real life at your own risk. Learn from our mistakes.
October 31, 2011
Podcast #17 – Special Effects
We're back! After a short hiatus, the Film Pigs return with a brand-new podcast talking about Special Effects in the movies. Plus, all of the usual fun stuff like News, the Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, Movie Jail, a Straight-To-DVD Corner with Tonn Slingdog, and a rousing game of Impressionivia that is in no way incorrectly scored.* (* The game of Impressionivia is scored incorrectly, which is why Skelton has a degree in theater and not, say, math.)
October 30, 2011
Podcast #16 – African-American Films
The Film Pigs are back with a brand new podcast. This episode, the Pigs discuss the current state of African-American Films in Hollywood. Then, a film professional is put on trial for crimes against cinema, a bizarre line reading, a snappy cold reading, and more! Plus, an exciting game of trivia submitted to the show by Extra Hot Great's own Tara Ariano, who is way the hell better at movie trivia than any of us.
September 30, 2011
Podcast #15 – Adult Films
Ok, people, let's try and be mature about this, since this episode the Film Pigs are going to be talking about Adult Films and the stuff that you see in them: hoo-hahs, peeners, melons, booftassles, sweaty groips and such. This is a SERIOUS discussion, so we insist that your pants remain fastened until the end of the podcast. Other fun includes Movie Jail, a Nic Cage Memorial Bizarre Line Reading, Tonn Slingdog's Straight To DVD Corner, games, and more!
September 18, 2011
Commentary #40 - Drive Angry (2011)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. "So, it's about this guy who escapes from Hell and goes on a rampage to save his granddaughter from some guys and he drives a car all over the place. It's CRAZY!" "This is another Nic Cage thing, isn't it?" "He's attached, yes." (audible sigh) "But William Fichtner's signed on to play a supernatural accountant!" "I LOVE Bill Fichtner. Alright, I'm greenlighting this picture. Just make sure it's in 3D." (IMDb)
September 13, 2011
Podcast #14 – Sports Movies
DUN-DUN-CHAH! DUN-DUN-CHAH! Get our your jerseys, pennants and giant foam hands, because the Film Pigs are talking Sports Movies! Seriously, get them out. And get seven other friends to join you. So you can paint letters onto your bellies. DO IT! This episode, the Pigs discuss America's celluloid pastime that is the Sports Movie, bring you up-to-the-possibly-week-old Movie News, expose a professional's cinema crimes in Movie Jail, play the world's most exciting game of Movieball, and more!
September 03, 2011
Commentary #39 - Season Of The Witch (2011)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. "Thanks for taking this meeting. I've got a great movie for you. We take Nic Cage and Ron Pearlman, send them to Eastern Europe for a couple months (Ron's already there, it's his off-season from Sons Of Anarchy), and have them run around as knights from the Crusades escorting this hot girl in a cage who everybody thinks is a witch and stuff. And they'll act like they're in a buddy-cop movie. We'll put poor, old Christopher Lee in hideous makeup and Ron will have this giant wound on his head that won't heal, even though they've been walking around for months. And we'll name the picture after that Donovan song so people will think the movie is either a biopic or a car commercial. ...Yes, I said Nic Cage. What's the problem?" (IMDb)
August 28, 2011
Podcast #13 – The Leading Lady
A few weeks ago, the Film Pigs recorded what could only be considered their finest, wittiest, most insightful, and tightest podcast ever. Then, GarageBand crashed and ate the whole thing. After a respectful mourning period, the Pigs regrouped and did it again - because they are amazing professionals. Who have a lot of free time. This episode, the Pigs explore the role of The Leading Lady, expose cutting-edge Movie News, send another film professional to Movie Jail, engage in an exciting and educational round of Trivia, and more!
August 24, 2011
Podcast #12 – Live-Action Family Films
The Film Pigs are back with another podcast jam-packed with wit, humor, and style. Of course, all of those qualities are encrypted using the finest digital stenography so you will have to listen to us talk about movies instead. This episode, we reflect on the demise of the Live-Action Family Film, talk about movie details that annoy us in a brand new segment, put a professional on trial for crimes against cinema, have an exciting one-line audition competition, and more!
July 30, 2011
Podcast #11 – Science Fiction
So we got these fancy new microphones that look like little silver thermoses and spent about 3 hours huddled in front of Falk's Mac trying to get them to work in GarageBand, because we're professionals. We think the result speaks for itself: our self-centered ramblings sound so much better! This episode, the Pigs use their new equipment to discuss Science Fiction in movies. Plus, news, Movie Jail, the return of the cold reading, and more!
July 13, 2011
Podcast #10 – Thrillers
Kind of hard to believe we've reached our 10th podcast anniversary! So much has happened since we started podcasting, it's been such an amazing journey. Big thanks to the soulless racks of servers that make all our dreams possible. This episode, the Film Pigs delve into the genre of Thrillers! Plus, Movie Jail, bizarre line readings, Tonn Slingdog's Straight To DVD Corner, fake corporate trivia, and more!
June 25, 2011
Podcast #9 – Chick Flicks
It's our 9th podcast! [ LAME BEATLES JOKE REDACTED ] This episode, the Film Pigs go out on a limb and into the unfamiliar territory known as Chick Flicks. We're more comfortable with heartfelt movies where people shoot each other in the face, so this is a stretch for us. Plus, Movie Jail, bizarre line readings, Tonn Slingdog's Straight To DVD Corner, a high stakes pitch meeting, and more!
June 09, 2011
Podcast #8 – Graphic Violence
They tried to silence us! But then we paid our web hosting fees and they were all like, "Do whatever you want, your account is up to date." So the Film Pigs are back for another groundbreaking, life-changing, time-consuming podcast! This time, we tackle graphic violence in film, discuss important movie news about candy, introduce a fun new segment, Falk puts someone near and dear on trial for Movie Jail, Todd takes us to Straight To DVD Corner, and dead-or-alive you're cold reading with us!
May 25, 2011
Commentary #38 - Caddyshack (1980)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Here's a curveball: the Film Pigs do an alternate DVD commentary for a movie they absolutely LOVE*. We do an admirable job of actually talking about the movie instead of quietly watching or just reciting every single line as it's spoken (although some of that is involuntary, like breathing or growing nose hair). Joining us for his 12th official viewing of Caddyshack is filmmaker and friend of the Pigs, Frank Stokes! So, we've got that going for us. Which is nice. (IMDb) * It's also an excuse to stare slack-jawed at Cindy Morgan.
May 12, 2011
Podcast #7 – Film Nudity
Lucky number seven! The Film Pigs celebrate our seventh podcast with a discussion on a subject near and dear to our hearts: film nudity! Joining the Pigs is special guest, filmmaker and friend Francis Stokes! Plus, some amazing movie news regarding Steven Seagal, Frank puts someone on trial for Movie Jail, bizarre line readings, Tonn Slingdog's DVD Corner, a cold reading that really ties the room together, trivia, and more!
May 11, 2011
Podcast #6 – Summer Movies & Blockbusters
It's our sixth podcast! We've done this six times! With summer fast approaching, this episode is devoted to Big Summer Event Blockbuster Movies! The Pigs discuss the rise of the blockbuster and why three old and cynical men don't get nearly as excited about the movies as they used to. There must be some reason. Also, our takes on the latest, critically important movie news, Movie Jail, fun and games, an adventurous cold reading, and much, much more! Well, not that much, but there's definitely more.
April 27, 2011
Podcast #5 – Remakes, Reboots & Re-Imaginings
Please keep your hands inside the ride at all times as we launch into a new Film Pigs Podcast! This episode, the Pigs take on Remakes, Reboots & Re-Imaginings, dissecting why Hollywood has come to rely on the constant stream of remakes and mining of past successes instead of creating new content. Plus, an impassioned prosecution by Stephen Falk for Movie Jail, Tonn Slingdog's DVD corner, and our usual collection of fun and games!
April 06, 2011
Podcast #4 – The Leading Man
We're back with the latest episode of The Film Pigs Podcast! In an amazing feat of willpower, we've managed to produce four episodes on a semi-regular basis! This week, the Pigs take on the state of the Leading Man in Hollywood, and why all those Brits and Aussies have taken over the role of Action Hero. Plus, fun with cold readings, trivia, Movie Jail, and more!
March 23, 2011
Podcast #3 – Academy Awards 2011
We're back with the third installment of the Film Pigs Podcast. We really think we're hitting our stride with this one: no cell phone interference, no refrigerator noise, and only one spot where Stee's dog loudly drinks from her water dish. We're IN THE ZONE! This week is all about the Academy Awards, which we're sure no one has ever heard of before.
March 02, 2011
Commentary #37 - The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Some kids grow up wanting to be a policeman, a fireman, or an astronaut. Not Dieter Laser. He looked at the state of mad scientism in the world and said "NEIN!" Frankenstein's monster was great and all, but the creature was missing two critical elements: somebody attached to his butt and face. Herr Laser corrects this rookie mistake in an awesomely over-the-top performance that is nothing less than creepily delightful. (IMDb)
February 28, 2011
Podcast #2 – Shaky Cam
We're back with a brand-new Podcast, discussing all things movies and movie news! This week's subject of ire is the shaky cam and how it's become an annoying crutch used by filmmakers to convey frantic tension without having to actually craft a scene. Also, as a bonus service to our listeners, at 7 points during the recording this podcast contains a meta commentary on how technology is advancing at such a rapid pace it is often difficult to tell when such technologies will conflict with each other. It is NOT a stupid mistake of putting an iPhone too close to powered speakers.
February 19, 2011
Podcast #1 – Teen Comedies
Welcome one and all to the premiere Film Pigs Podcast! This new feature will focus on what the Pigs do best: extended complaining about the movies and the people who make them. Each episode will be based on a theme chosen by that week's host and will contain rants, features, bits, thoughtful discussion, and the finest audio effects that can be crammed into a MacBook.
January 31, 2011
Commentary #36 - Retardead (2008)
NETFLIX ALERT! This commentary was recorded while watching Retardead on Netflix. All instructions for syncing to the movie are in the commentary, so give a listen and follow the crystal clear steps for maximum holiday cheer. The second in our Holiday Season 2010 double-feature, Retardead is a more-or-less sequel to Monsturd. The mad scientist who created the poo creature from the first movie is back, this time injecting mentally challenged people with a serum that eventually turns them into zombies. Again, as far as gross/offensive premises are concerned, this is right on the money. Unfortunately, the same issues from Monsturd remain: the ultra-low budget home movie style is made unwatchable by the entire production winking at the audience and itself in every scene. Retardead is also longer than Monsturd, which doesn't help. The Film Pigs were pretty cranky by this point and in a much less forgiving mood. Which is the exact opposite of how you're supposed to behave during the holidays. Maybe we ate too much Monkey Bread.
December 16, 2010
Commentary #35 - Monsturd (2003)
NETFLIX ALERT! This commentary was recorded while watching Monsturd on Netflix. As this is a first for the Film Pigs, there is a different procedure for syncing the commentary to the movie. All instructions are in the commentary, so give a listen and follow the crystal clear steps for maximum holiday cheer. The Good News: In the spirit of the holiday season, the Film Pigs bring you TWO commentaries! Overcome with the joy and love that accompanies the annual celebration of rampant consumerism (and Jesus!), we felt the need to give something back out of the simple kindness of our hearts. The Bad News: The two movies we watched are terrible and we're complete assholes about both of them. Monsturd tells the tale of an escaped convict who gets covered in mad scientist goo that turns him into a giant dookie creature. Okay, fine. We were on board with the premise. The problem is that both of these movies (Monsturd and its sequel, RetarDEAD) are essentially home movies that are a little too pleased with themselves to be much fun for the audience. Kind of like Film Pigs commentaries. Also give a listen to our commentary for RetarDEAD!
December 15, 2010
Commentary #34 - The Animal Room (1995)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. In 1995, a terrifying vision of a possible dystopian future was unleashed into cinemas (or, more likely, a limited number of Blockbuster Video stores). In this impossible-to-imagine yet almost-frighteningly-real world, troublesome students who can't decide whether they want to be moody goths or lunkheaded stoners are banished to the Animal Room; where they are allowed to be total dicks to Neil Patrick Harris. Because that will rehabilitate them. Or something. Any way you look at it, Matthew Lillard is all up in NPH's grill. What makes this movie so special is the presence of a fresh-faced Gabriel Olds as NPH's only friend. This is important as Mr. Olds is a close personal friend of the Film Pigs and has joined this commentary for a behind-the-scenes look at the making of this psychological thriller. Except that he can't remember much and mostly just eats snacks while we make fun of his hair. Don't be tardy to the party. NOTE: The Animal Room is currently available on Netflix Watch Instantly for those of you in the U.S. and possibly Canada.
November 29, 2010
Commentary #33 - The Wolfman (2010)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Good Lord, where to start on this one? The Wolfman is a big-budget remake of a classic horror film that incorporates all of the slow, clunky nonsense of the original and adds a tired Anthony Hopkins, a strangely non-compelling Benicio Del Toro, that computer-elf guy from them nerd movies, and Emily Blunt's sideboob. The end result is not quite the "magic" you'd expect. The most fascinating part of The Wolfman, if you can manage to keep yourself awake by repeatedly stabbing yourself in the thigh with an icepick, is Del Toro's crazy choice of acting like he's covered in syrup. Syrup that's laced with horse tranquilizers. He buries his normal high-intensity so deeply, that when he finally turns into the wolfman...well, you've already fallen asleep and will miss all the Act III gore. IMPORTANT NOTE: The Film Pigs watched the Unrated Director's Cut from the Blu-ray disc for this commentary. No, we don't know why.
October 09, 2010
Commentary #32 - The Core (2003)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. There's nothing more refreshing than a big Hollywood movie with a plot based on sound science. Since those don't exist, the Film Pigs watched The Core instead. We're not sure what was more astounding: the Space Shuttle crash landing in the LA river (which could TOTALLY happen), the amount of people per square mile that have pacemakers, or Stanley Tucci's wig. None of the clearly well-researched science in this movie would be believable if Aaron Eckhart hadn't been sporting the frosted surfer-boy locks that were so common among scientists of the early 2000s. And who knew The Next Karate Kid could pilot a train with a laser on front straight into the earth?
August 04, 2010
Commentary #31 - Hellbound (1994)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Have you ever wanted to listen to a commentary for a movie where Chuck Norris plays an on-the-edge Chicago cop who wanders around Israel looking for a demon who looks a lot like, but isn't, Michael Ironside so he can stab him with a magical staff topped with a baked potato after defeating him with karate? If the answer is yes, you're in for a treat! In Hellbound, Chuck Norris is electrifying as Sgt. Shatter, a tough-as-nails pimp-slapping Chicago detective who gets caught up in an ancient battle between good and evil. Because a demon throws a prostitute out a window and onto the hood of his car. Because demons have a terrible problem keeping a low profile while waiting for their plans of hell on earth to come together. Which is why you can vanquish them with karate. In Israel. This movie makes no sense.
July 09, 2010
Commentary #30 - Law Abiding Citizen (2009)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. NOTE: This Film Pigs commentary is for the "Unrated Director's Cut" on the 2-disc Blu-Ray and not the theatrical release. We felt it was important to force ourselves to sit through the director's true vision. Law Abiding Citizen is a movie so engaging, so socially relevant, and so masterful in its execution that Todd had to buy the Unrated Director's Cut Blu-Ray edition so he could see it in all its pristine glory FOR THE THIRD TIME. Todd has a terrible problem, but we're not sure the Pasadena Recovery Center has a program for people who are compelled to buy every single plastic and metal disc that contains moving pictures. The best thing about LAC is that it is composed mostly of long, boring scenes of people talking which get interrupted once in a while by scenes of terrible violence and/or gore. The director's cut shows way more gore than the theatrical release (steak bone, I'm looking in your direction). Plus, you get to play an interesting thought experiment where you try to explain why Gerard Butler keeps getting to make high-profile studio pictures when they do nothing but bomb (Answer: he's pretty).
May 04, 2010
Commentary #29 - G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. A new decade brings forth new life challenges. For the Film Pigs, this means sitting through the stupidest movie from the previous decade. It's hard to quantify just how monumentally stupid G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra is, but with a running time of two hours, there's plenty of time to try. Based on the 1980s toy line (much like the other wildly expensive and brain damaging Transformers franchise), G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra tells the story of a bunch of assholes with a shitload of corporate money who want to take over the world for no discernible reason and the bunch of assholes with a shitload of government money who want to stop them. There are also nanobots. The worst part of G.I. Joe is how forgettable it is, even during the viewing. Fun drinking game: every time Falk asks any variation of "Wait...is that Sienna Miller?" take a drink.
February 09, 2010
Commentary #28 - Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. It's a Christmas Miracle! The Film Pigs return to make everyone's holiday season a little brighter. And what better way to celebrate the Christian / Jewish / Muslim / Pagan / Pastafarian season than with a movie about a homicidal Santa Claus? Answer: THERE IS NO BETTER WAY! Silent Night, Deadly Night takes us back to a simpler time, when ghostbusting was king and traversing the space-time continuum in modified DeLoreans was commonplace. In the early 80s, no one thought twice about a dusty old nun whipping two naked teenagers with a leather belt, or of wearing cheap sweaters with no undershirts or bras. We were too busy fighting Communism when, in retrospect, we should have been paying more attention to drunken, murderous Santa Clauses. Happy holidays! TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie.
December 16, 2009
Commentary #27 - Twilight (2008)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. You missed it. You demanded it. And now you have it: the first Film Pigs commentary in almost a year! Who would have thought it was possible to procrastinate so long on a money-losing hobby? If you love dull, corporate movie adaptations of dull, corporate novels for teen girls then have we got a treat for you! Twilight, the blockbuster adaptation of the bestselling novel series, brings us the story of Bella, a pale girl who is not even slightly interesting and Edward, her vampire boyfriend who glows like David Bowie in the sunlight and has a severe allergic reaction to Bella's pungent vagina. Additionally, they both have ludicrously manicured and highly distracting eyebrows. Dull, inoffensive teen angst is the best you can hope for these days. It's almost like movies are being made by marketing committees that are only concerned about how much money they can make. It's weird. At the risk of sounding old (which isn't a risk at all, the Film Pigs ARE old), when you put Twilight next to the teen angst vampire movie of our generation, The Lost Boys (1987), there really is no comparison. Jason Patric would kick Robert Pattinson's ass any day of the week. And his eyebrows are dreamier.
July 31, 2009
Commentary #26 - P2 (2007)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Happy holidays Film Pigs fans! In keeping with our marginally adhered to tradition of Christmastime-themed commentaries for the season, we bring you P2. It's a story of thrills, survival and impossibly perky cleavage. Set in a strange, alternate-reality New York City where the streets are barren after 6pm and people actually apologize for acting like assholes at the Christmas party (translation: Toronto), P2 tells the cautionary tale of why you should never be trapped in a Canadian parking garage with a psychotic killer during the holiday season. But if you are, for God's sake just have dinner with the guy. 'Tis the season! (IMDb) Here are some highlights: Silly Elvis Impersonation By Crazy Man: 1 Amazingly Graphic Crushed To Death By Car Scene: 1 Stupidly Watertight Elevator: 1 Dog Stabbing: 1 Rolls Of Boob Tape: 4,017
December 18, 2008
Commentary #25 - The Happening (2008)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. M. Night Shyamalan's first R-rated movie! M. Night Shyamalan's first R-rated movie! Those were the words that sent people to theaters in - what's the opposite of "droves" - to experience some stupid thing about angry plants making people walk backwards before killing themselves. And Marky Mark as a science teacher. We know he's smart because M. Knight makes him wear an awkward sweater vest. Finally crossing the line into Ed Wood territory, Shyamalan actually expects the audience to feel fear and tension when he stages his characters running away from light breezes. Oh, and instead of a stupid twist ending, the ending is just stupid. In the end, The Happening has all the terror and gravity of a fabric softener commercial AND a criminally underused Alan Ruck. We love Alan Ruck. (IMDb)
November 16, 2008
Commentary #24 - 10,000 BC (2008)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. At the dawn of human civilization, there was this guy who hunted giant cartoon mastodons, was chased by prehistoric man-eating ostriches, and totally fucked up this pyramid. He did this because some other guys kidnapped his girlfriend...and the guy who owned the pyramid made everybody think he was a god or something...a disembodied Omar Sharif kept talking every now and then... Okay, this movie is stupid, even for a premise that abandons at the first frame any thought of possibly trying to be somewhat in the neighborhood of historically accurate. Even worse, it is boring. Mind-numbingly boring. Somehow, a movie that has computer generated mastodons, saber-toothed tigers, and killer ostriches is so dull it makes you pine for an auto accident-induced coma. Who would have figured that the creative genius behind Independence Day and Eight Legged Freaks was Dean Devlin? For shame, Roland Emmerich. For shame. (IMDb)
August 21, 2008
Commentary #23 - Bratz (2007)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. It started out as a simple joke. A ribald suggestion that three grown men sit through a movie clearly assembled by soulless corporate executives for tween girls and their sexually frustrated fathers. What followed was an hour and forty minutes of Technicolor horror brighter than the light of a thousand exploding suns. Plus, Jon Voight in a prosthetic nose. For no reason! No reason! It's understandable doing some marketing-driven junk movie if you're donating the money to charity or want another speedboat, buy why would you agree to put on a stupid nose every morning Jon? Why? It makes no sense. And can we stop forcing real elephants to do stupid circus tricks in movies? For Christ's sake, leave them alone. It's depressing. BFF! (IMDb)
June 23, 2008
Commentary #22 - Road House (1989)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Swayze. Elliott. Boobs. Few words encompass the greatness that is American cinema more than these, and few films possess all three qualities at once. Road House is such a film. Join the Film Pigs as they relive the wonder of a late 80s action masterpiece, complete with all the mullets and pleated pants one could want. Marvel as they give voice to their shared crush on the ultimate man that is Sam Elliott. And, as always, please enjoy the boobs. (IMDb) SPECIAL NOTE: Please forgive the minor distortion in the recording. Sam Elliott's mustache simply overpowered our weak, mama's boy microphone. We are rightfully shamed. Please forgive us Sam!
April 16, 2008
Commentary #21 - Disturbia (2007)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. The Film Pigs just can't get enough of that charming Shia LaBeouf! This time he stars as an impulse-control challenged and slightly pervy teenager under house arrest in this modern take on Hitchcock's classic Rear Window. Major difference: Disturbia has a flaming bag of dogshit that is noticeably absent from Hitchcock's version. Not that you should read anything into that. Also, Grace Kelly has been replaced by a skinny teenage girl and an iPod. David Morse is, as always, extremely menacing. He frightens us. Somebody make him leave Shia and Dr. House alone. (IMDb)
February 11, 2008
Commentary #20 - Christmas Fireplace (2007)
SPECIAL NOTE: Instructions for syncing playback to this commentary are included during the recording. Everybody try not to swarm Kmart all at once. The Film Pigs spread holiday cheer with this very special DVD commentary. Snatched up in the festive shopping madness at Burbank's finest Kmart, marvel as the Pigs learn the true meaning of the holidays while they triple-fist booze and make inappropriate remarks about Famke Janssen. Truly, a Christmas miracle! Asbestos cookies! (IMDb)
December 22, 2007
Commentary #19 - Transformers (2007)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Normally this would be where we make fun of the movie's tagline - something like "Transformers: Their War. Our World. Complete Waste Of Your Time." - but holy f*ck, this thing is so dull it saps strength even after its running time concludes. Somehow, a movie has been made about giant robots covered in sharp spinning objects that turn into cars and jets and back into robots while they're fighting that's about as compelling as changing your cell phone's battery. It's the mechanical-man-in-conflict version of Paul Haggis' "Crash" - but with more believable commentary on race relations and road safety. Michael Bay has finally succeeded in stripping the very last shred of humanity from his films, perhaps hoping that his robotic overlords will finally let him leave planet earth. Which, apparently, is a pretty cool place to "kick it." (IMDb) BONUS: For the first time ever, the Film Pigs screw up the DVD playback and ruin the commentary!
December 05, 2007
Commentary #18 - The Reaping (2007)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Having secured the coveted early spring release window, one would have thought 2007's The Reaping would have become an instant classic. I mean, you've got a gritty biblical horror starring Academy-award winning actress Hilary Swank who last wowed audiences in 2004's "The Bourne Supremacy" - what could go wrong? One thing is for sure: if you travel to a small southern town to debunk biblical plagues, stay away from the mumbly Liam Neeson-Elvis guy and all small blonde girls who are probably possessed by the devil. Or just have really bad ADD or something. What hath God wrought? Boredom. (IMDb)
October 31, 2007
Commentary #17 - Torque (2004)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Combining the subtle nuances of "The Fast And The Furious" with the drum-tight structure of "Timerider", Torque feels much longer than it's running time of 84 minutes. Some people might consider that quality filmmaking - others might use it to interrorgate enemy combatants in secret prisons. Either way, Torque's timeless message is clear: motorcycles are, like, cool and stuff! Radical! (IMDb)
October 01, 2007
Commentary #16 - Audition (1999)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Holding a fake movie audition in order to find a new wife seems reasonable enough - I mean, how else are you supposed to meet women? MySpace? Unfortunately for the Film Pigs, our guy forgets the cardinal rule of dating: Never pick up the girl with fetishes for needles, piano wire, and keeping mutilated guys in a big sack. Happy endings: 0. Puke in dog dish: 1. (IMDb)
March 18, 2007
Commentary #15 - Crank (2006)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Crank is quite possibly the best movie ever made about a guy injected with a lethal dose of poison who goes on a rampage against his enemies but takes time out to bang Amy Smart in front of a crowd in Chinatown before falling to his death out of a helicopter. No one with any sense of moral decency or concern over the decline of our civilization should see this movie. It is that awesome. Girls in plastic bubbles: at least 3. Redeeming qualities: 0. (IMDb)
February 27, 2007
Commentary #14 - Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. It's beginning to look a lot like Norris! The Film Pigs celebrate the season with the festive holiday picture "Invasion U.S.A." With the fierce demeanor of an indifferent koala, Chuck Norris saves America from the poorly-thought-out machinations of a Soviet terrorist and his band of extras from "The Warriors" with an empty, massive-stroke-like gaze and at least two kicks thrown by Norris himself. Once again, Chuck reaffirms the open-button shirt tucked neatly into your pants that is Freedom and the dense thicket of beard of Liberty for us all. Plus, holiday well-wishes to our fans. (IMDb)
December 15, 2006
Commentary #13 - Silent Hill (2006)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. What Halloween would be complete without an awkward video-game-to-movie translation? Watch in horror as a concerned mother deals with her child's terrible nightmares about a town called "Silent Hill" by putting her daughter in the car and maniacally crashing it into a town called "Silent Hill." For some reason, this makes the child run away from her mother, seeking comfort from the town's compliment of shambling ash babies. 2 hour movie. 20 minute expository ending. 5 minutes of good gore. 1 Strippercop. PLUS, guest commentator Pamela Ribon delays a very important phone call to join us in anticipation of Scary Cakes! (IMDb)
October 16, 2006
Commentary #12 - Hostel (2005)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Ah, scenic Europe. The Old World charm, the cultural sophistication, the endless barrage of titty and gore. Truly, this is a Very Important Movie with a Timeless Message. That message: everyone in Europe wants to brutally murder anybody under 30 who's wearing a backpack. They're especially interested in poorly drawn characters of 2-dimensions or less who have wasted about 40 minutes on "character development" (meaning, lots of 'what the?' reactions to bare breasts and calling everything else 'gay') before the first drop of blood is seen. (IMDb) SPECIAL NOTE: This commentary is for the Unrated Widescreen Cut DVD. According to the DVD jacket - "SickER and MORE Twisted Unrated". TV's Daniel Blau guest-comments and enjoys pizza rolls fresh from the oven!
September 05, 2006
Commentary #11 - Brokeback Mountain (2005)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. No pun intended, but being a gay cowboy is really hard. Especially when you've only got a couple of camping trips to try and generate some kind of meaningful relationship with a guy who mumbles worse than Brando. Seriously, can anybody understand what the hell Heath Ledger is saying? Was it just a big misunderstanding? Did he really only want Jake Gyllenhaal's dry cleaning? And where the hell was the posse? We thought this was a western. Even a gay western should have a posse. (IMDb)
June 05, 2006
Commentary #10 - Crash (2004)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. To call this movie ham-fisted would be an insult to the depth and subtlety you get from ham-fistedness. From its opening scene, Crash blunders through an endless series of tired racial stereotypes and preachy clichés, ultimately concluding that everyone on Earth is not only racist but also an incompetent motorist. Best Picture 2006? What the fuck, America? (IMDb)
April 20, 2006
Commentary #9 - The Outsiders (1983)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. The Film Pigs sit down with S.E. Hinton's classic tale of cuddle-prone and generally shirtless street punks on the run for the self-defense murder of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog model. Hugs! (IMDb) SPECIAL NOTE: This commentary is for "The Outsiders - The Complete Novel (Two-Disc Special Edition)" DVD - not the theatrical release. Special features include deleted scenes and an all-new score, which sounds like the same 8-bars of surf music repeated incessantly. It's so inappropriate for the movie we thought it was going to give our first guest commentator, Pamela Ribon, a heart attack or something.
February 12, 2006
Commentary #8 - It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Is it just us or is "Pottersville," the version of Bedford Falls where George Bailey never existed, the most AWESOME PLACE EVER?!!! It's got neon lights, dance halls, and titty bars galore! For some reason George thinks life is better without those things, which makes him a douche bag. Pay attention to how much EVERYBODY in Bedford Falls drinks, even the endless stream of extras, and you'll realize the reason it's a wonderful life is alcoholism. And remember, what happens in Pottersville stays in Pottersville... (IMDb)
December 23, 2005
Commentary #7 - Saw (2004)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. For a movie called "Saw," there is an alarming lack of "sawing" - of arms, legs, heads, wooden planks, trees, anything. However, there is plenty of terrifying acting from Carey Elwwwwwwes, who spends most of the movie in a life-or-death struggle with his accent. Plus, there is the obligatory pointless twist ending that paves the way for "Saw II," which will hopefully deliver on the gore "Saw" only teases us with. (IMDb)
October 31, 2005
Commentary #6 - The Passion Of The Christ (2004)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. We are going to hell. Which should be more fun than watching this movie. The Bible is really confusing. (IMDb)
October 04, 2005
Commentary #5 - Hitch (2005)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. There is a moment in this movie where an indignant Will Smith berates Eva Mendes for criticizing his job as a "date doctor" by making the point that women are too stupid and shallow to recognize the true qualities of a man. Therefore, men are justified in crafting elaborate lies in order to falsely win their affections. And she eventually agrees with him! Hilarious. There are also numerous jokes highlighting Kevin James' awkwardness. All totally subtle. (IMDb)
September 01, 2005
Commentary #4 - Meet The Fockers (2004)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. And you thought previous performances from DeNiro and Stiller were embarrassing. The Film Pigs stagger through the most contrived screwball-family-comedy-barely-disguised-as-an- excuse-for-poop-jokes movie starring actors whose performances used to matter. Lifetime gross: $279 million. Why, America? Why? (IMDb)
July 11, 2005
Commentary #3 - The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. The Film Pigs learn an important lesson about the environment in an action-thriller-blockbuster that, after a great first hour of destruction, combines the excitement of a summit on global warming with the pulse-pounding adventure of Dennis Quaid walking! In snowshoes!
June 06, 2005
Commentary #2 - The Grudge (2004)
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. When someone dies in a state of rage, a grudge is born. When the Film Pigs are forced to watch a PG-13 horror movie, aggravation is born.
April 26, 2005
Commentary #1 - Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
TO SYNC WITH MOVIE: Start this commentary 10 seconds after starting movie. Film Pigs commentary track to be played with your movie, for the authentic theater-going experience of having 3 jackasses mouthing off during the show.
April 25, 2005