In this episode, we delve deeper into how disciplining from a place of true acceptance is far more powerful than from a place based on expectation and control. Acceptance does not mean parenting from a passive stat of allowance of indulgence. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We can still hold our boundaries with strength, but our children will feel at their core that our love for them is not on the line.
Today we zoom in on specific, concrete examples to help us as parents be able to release control and really connect with our kids in the present moment. This is where the magic happens.
Here are the links of books related to this topic:
The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399563970/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_NkCVCbTXCH9RM
Children are wonderful teachers. We learn so much about ourselves during the journey of parenting. When our kids do something that drives us crazy, it is an opportunity for us to look inside of us. Kids don’t trigger us, we trigger ourselves. This concept is mind blowing once you unlock the theory.
Today we explore the concept of how this process of self discovery can free us from expectations. The word expectation often has a positive connotation, but today we will explore how some expectations might be more damaging than we think.
As parents, most of us want our kids to be independent thinkers and strong, confident trailblazers. But at the same time, we don’t want them to develop those traits while in our own home, because that might conflict with our own agenda. This mindset creates trouble because we can’t expect our children to become independent the instant they leave the house at 18 years old. Many children get the unintentional message as children: be yourself, as long as that self is the one that we have chosen for you as parents. Our expectations for you are the only ones you are safe to meet.
Today we explore the paradox that as we release our children from our rigid expectations (while still setting healthy boundaries and limits of course), we can truly engage with them in the present moment by using powerful intention.These two words, intention and engagement are the antidote for relationship damaging expectation.
The books/authors we mention in this episode are:
The Awakened Family by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Elevating Childcare by Janet Lansbury
Today we introduce the concept of The Pause. It is the idea that really first turned Felica on to the concept of wholehearted parenting. It is a quite magical technique that helps make so many parenting situations not only easier but more filled with peace and respect. We cover how it applies to babies, toddlers, and older kids in common parenting pain areas such as fussy babies, toy squabbles, hitting, and tattling. We hope it helps you:). INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/
This is the first episode in our series on discipline! We are so excited to guide you through this respectful parenting journey. Even in the moments that seem so simple you can parent with love and respect without compromising your connection to your children. Today we are talking about how to set & hold limits, lovingly! Boundaries are so important as our relationships with our children progress and we will talk about a few ways to set them with babies, toddlers and into childhood. This is a core discipline principle, we can’t wait for you to try it! No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame – https://amzn.to/2OuPW0E Simplicity Parenting – https://amzn.to/2Fv2Zv8
As parents, days sometimes feel like they will never end, and yet as we look back at our child’s life, it seems to have flown by. Within 5 minutes, we can go from feeling like we are going to pull our hair out, to feeling like our hearts are going to burst with joy and love for our kids. How can we balance the ideas of living in the present moment and cherishing our children with just surviving the difficult, patience testing storms?
A lot of well meaning people give parents of young kids the advice to just “enjoy every second of parenting”, which often makes us feel guilty that we didn’t enjoy the morning full of screaming and soggy cereal on the floor. Enjoying EVERY second seems like a tall order. Today we will give you concrete tips on how to both reframe your perspective and also increase your parenting tools which will make finding moments to enjoy a bit easier. There is a way to maintain balance and contentment while experiencing the entire messy spectrum that is parenting, and we hope to help you discover it.
Affiliate Links -
High Performance Habits by Brendan Buchard - https://amzn.to/2Fd7V7G
Elevating Childcare by Janet Lansbury - https://amzn.to/2Ugh8WF
In our reviews we’ve had many questions from listeners struggling to break out of a rut! Whether you’ve had a loss, are in the grind of parenting little children everyday or have simply plateaued this episode is for you! If we can find peace within our own hearts we will be able to make it through hard things and come out better for them. Getting to a place where you can TRULY accept the worst outcome is true inner peace. If we can teach this to our kids imagine the endless life they will have!
Eckhart Tolle // The Power of Now - https://amzn.to/2ulDS97
Brendan Buchard // High Performance Habits - https://amzn.to/2Fd7V7G
None of us get through this life without dealing with loss of some kind or another. We lose loved ones, experience the grief associated with loss of expectations, and many experience betrayal and our own regret. In a family, we not only have our own grief to process, but we also watch our partners and children grieve. Today we are going to delve into our own personal experiences with grief and some things we have found helpful while processing our own as well as guiding our families through the waters of loss.
John W. James’ book on Grieving Children - https://amzn.to/2CezRr7
Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth - https://amzn.to/2O12tZO
It’s our 10th episode! We have had so much amazing feedback so we decided to answer a few of our most asked questions on limiting screen time, dealing with BIG emotions and toddler tantrums and how to break out of a funk when you’re stuck!
Simplicity Parenting - https://amzn.to/2XD4OhH
Gifts of Imperfect Parenting - https://amzn.to/2EMPAQ8
Let’s face it, we are living in a world of comparison. We see all the achievement of others and none of the downfall. We are over exerting ourselves while simultaneously feeling like we aren’t doing enough. When in reality we only have this exact moment we are in, so how can we remember that?
By interviewing many people on this concept, we have found some great tips that will hopefully help you with that. In this episode, we cover what it means to be content with your current stage (and not torture yourself with all the other infinite options available to you), while still making sure you are fulfilled on the inside by still growing on the inside and connecting with yourself and your purpose.
Here are the books we mention in this episode:
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle - https://amzn.to/2TaQmyl
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin - https://amzn.to/2T8fRAn
This episode is close to our hearts. It’s the core of our personal purpose for this podcast. We want everyone to feel safe being themselves, because in the end, that’s all we really can be—just the best, most authentic version of ourselves. When we react to our children with anger, it makes them focus their attention on OUR reaction, not their own action.
Of course we love our children unconditionally, and expressing anything other than that is inauthentic. Are our actions showing that? Are we accepting all their big, scary or sad emotions as well as their big positive emotions?
On this episode we will walk you through specific examples of different common parenting scenarios and ways to reframe them without anger, threats, or bribes. You’ve got this!
Here are the books we refer to:
Unconditional Parenting https://amzn.to/2IifGy5
Always, Elevating Childcare https://amzn.to/2EgbjPU
Do you feel like your love for yourself or your spouse is conditional?
With Valentine’s day around the corner it feels like a good time to talk about love. There are so many misconceptions about connection and love. This episode we are sharing some of the concepts that have really shifted our whole perception of what love is.
Here are the links to books we mentioned this episode!
Gretchen Rubin “The Happiness Project” https://amzn.to/2GjDEXN
Eckhart Tolle “The Awakened Earth” https://amzn.to/2N3gllO
And our favorite Bluetooth earbud - https://amzn.to/2Gr6fdc
The daily grind of life has a tendency to make some of us feel squeezed, so today we are going to talk about preserving or creating pockets of daily decompression time. We get a lot of comments and requests from people describing how they just feel like they are reacting all day to what life brings them, and feeling like they don’t have 2 seconds to themselves, let alone enough time throughout the day to actually recharge. We hope today’s podcast will help you with that.
Here is the link to the books we mentioned: Simplicity Parenting https://amzn.to/2TAk50D and Your Self Confident Baby https://amzn.to/2tavIje
Also here is the link to the wireless earbud that we are IN LOVE with: https://amzn.to/2Gr6fdc
Next to our processing our own emotions, we usually deal with a lot of negative emotions from others. For most people, this can create so much distress, whether it be their children or spouse’s unhappiness, the anger of their boss, etc. Today on the podcast we will be explaining how it is possible to be present with someone else’s emotions, without actually letting their negative emotions change your own. This technique is powerful because you will learn to respond to others with so much more kindness and awareness when you realize you can keep the power for your own emotions, while allowing others the space to feel and process their own negative feelings. We have spent years learning about this concept and trying it out, and it’s been so liberating. We hope you find the freedom in it as well!
In this episode, we mention one of our favorite childcare experts, Janet Lansbury. Here is a link to one of her books that we absolutely love, called Elevating Childcare. If you have small children in your life at all (your own children, grandkids, neighbor kids, any tiny humans really), this is a game changer: https://amzn.to/2MIAeOZ
Who doesn’t want a little more magic in their life? We explore the word magic and talk about what we do to bring more of it in our life.
The key is being in the present moment, but how do we actually do that? It’s all about how we handle our emotions, even the unpleasant ones. Crankiness? We talk about that. Underwhelm? Overwhelm? We have you covered.
At the end of most days, do you feel like you are failing or succeeding? We will help you discover for yourself what is essential for YOU to become your best self and to feel like you are succeeding. Most of us spend most of our day doing important things, but miss doing the essential things that are truly aligned with our core values, and over time, will help us create our best life.
Here are the steps to discover and implement YOUR essentials:
1. Make 3 lists of the important things you do or would like to do in your day, separating them into 3 lists: Essentials, Super Important, and Good to Do. Then look at your lists again and move things around until the items left in your essentials are truly a SHORT list of things that help you become who you want to become. These aren’t classic to do lists; they are more like to BECOME lists. Our lists are below as examples of possibilities. Both of us have our Miracle Morning Routine on it, which centers on us taking time to connect with ourselves, with our goals, and with God. Our miracle morning routines includes Meditation (Silence), affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, writing (scribing.) https://amzn.to/2RwRmMp It’s a good idea to write 2 essentials lists: one for yourself, and one for your stewardship/career. (We have one for us and for our kids.)**
2. Make it non-negotiable. Think of something already non-negotiable in your life, and figuratively put into that same space. Eliminate decision making fatigue.
3. Make a quick list of how doing these essentials over your time in your life will make you feel. Keep asking the question until you get to a feeling: happy? Peaceful? Content? Worthwhile? Take a minute to tap into that feeling NOW so you can come from a place of abundance.
4. Print of a year at a year at a glance calendar - https://goo.gl/images/Uf7Di6 and put it somewhere you will see it often. Taralyn’s is on her bathroom mirror. Mark off each day you do your essentials list. (We do one slash of an X for personal, and one for kids or career). The idea is to fill up as much of the year as possible, and not to worry when you miss a day. Over a year, a decade, or a life, all the days add up, and there is no such thing as all or nothing with this. any year at a glance calendar will do:)
Taralyn’s morning routines. Meet Taralyn! My cohost for Find the Magic! She is sharing her morning routines in this insightful episode. Hone your perfect morning routine! We are breaking down our morning routines and tools to make them happen.
Book : https://amzn.to/2RwRmMp
1. My meditation I invite you to try for 30 days:
1. Gratitude Breaths: 3 super deep breaths, thinking of one thing you are grateful for per breath,
2. Loving kindness meditation: Picture someone you love in front of you, and take a deep breath, and imagine all of the cells in your body lighting up with love and awesome energy. Then, take a super deep breath in and exhale that love out to your whole home or building. Do that same thing with your city, state, country, earth, and universe (imagining the love coming back to you on each inhale and sending it out on the exhale). After you’ve done at least one breath for each of those places, just end with that love coming back to you and energizing you.
3. Mantra Meditation: take 5-10 deep breaths, repeating the word ONE in your mind. When your mind wanders, that’s great! Just come back to the word ONE and take a few more breaths.
2. Exercise Tip: 7 Minute Workout App: it’s free and awesome if you want a quick workout:)
3. 6 minute miracle morning, which anyone can do and it will transform your life even if you don’t want to spend more time!
1. Sit down with a journal, book, and timer. Spend one minute on each of the following six SAVERS: Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, and Scribing.
4. Document your state! Write down your current ratings on a scale of 1-10 of Balance (1 being totally unbalanced and 10 being perfectly balanced) and Contentment: (1 being not content with yourself or any aspect of life and 10 being perfectly content with yourself and your life). Do this now, and again at the end of 30 days of implementing a morning habit. See if there is a difference:)!
Article on Meditation:
Link to Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod:
Hone your perfect morning routine! We are breaking down our morning routines and tools to make them happen.
Book : https://amzn.to/2RwRmMp
Meditations: Kelly Howell, Tara Brach, Headspace, Loving Kindness