How to Glow: The Jewish Woman's Marriage Boost

When the issue seems so big it can be hard to see the value of each small action. This week we're discussing the power of making small steps--whether in response to the war, in our marriages, or any area.

Also an update on the podcast, the Shalom for Shalom Project, and other ways to work on your marriage now.

This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here.

This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here.

This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here.

This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here.

This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here.

This summer we're going back to basics and bringing you the oldies but goodies--our most popular and fundamental episodes. Don't stress about catching up on every past episode--if you need it, we're bringing it to you here.

This week I brought on my good friend Miriam Campbell for a fascinating discussion on how to connect to others when it's challenging. Sometimes we don't want to connect, or we are going through all the motions but we're not totally there. Listen to hear why this is all part of our process--a process we really do want to be engaged in.

Even if you have a great positive thought, if your nervous system has been hijacked and you're in fight or flight, that thought is just not going to stick. This week I'm introducing you to Nervous System 101. Our guest coach Ilana Kendal will be taking this much deeper inside of How to Glow in July!

When life is stressful, sometimes the last thing you think you can handle is supporting a struggling husband. Today I want to talk about some of the struggles I'm seeing a lot with the clients I work with and how fierce support can create a bedrock for your marriage you will be so grateful for in the decades to come.

The Business Trip Phenomenon: when your husband goes away and suddenly you are SUPER functional and do so much better than when he was home--WHY is that? Why can't you manage when he's around? And then, instead of him coming home and seeing how great you're doing, you totally fall apart. Has this ever happened to you?

Listen this week to hear why this happens and what you can do to have a smoother reunion after his trips, and what you can keep from the magical wonder-woman energy from when he was away (and what you shouldn't expect to carry over into your day-to-day life.)

This week we're taking a deep dive into BOUNDARIES. What does it really mean to "have no boundaries" and what do we do with those people in our lives who make us crazy because they don't respect our boundaries? How do we set a boundary and, most importantly, what if our own boundaries need some work?

Hey there! In this podcast episode, I want to talk to you about why it's so important to keep your phone out of the bedroom, especially when it comes to maintaining a healthy marriage. Now, I know that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to marriage advice, but I truly believe that every couple should design their own marriage and create a relationship that works for them.

In this episode, I explain that getting your phone out of the bedroom is a crucial step in maintaining your mental health and building intimacy with your partner. With social media and constant communication, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and anxious, which can disrupt your sleep and make it difficult to build strong relationships.

I also discuss the challenges of giving up your phone as an alarm clock, but emphasize the importance of making conscious decisions about the values you prioritize in your marriage. Ultimately, I hope this episode helps you take a step towards a healthier, happier, and more intimate marriage.

Hope sounds so nice, doesn't it? Except when it gets us into trouble. This week I'm unpacking this seemingly innocent emotion that can sometimes keep us stuck--and how to know when we're in a helpful hope or a not-so-helpful hope.

Whether infertility has personally affected you or not, it has a major impact on the Jewish community. Dr. Aimee Baron joined me to discuss the work behind her non-profit, I Was Supposed to Have A Baby, her own infertility journey, the many forms of infertility, and the ways that we can support and be sensitive to those going through this journey.

Learn more from Aimee here:

Check out what we'll be doing in May inside of the How to Glow Community.

If you're guilty of skipping meals in lieu of a coffee or regularly staying up too late but can't really get motivated to break those habits (or you can't even imagine why you'd want to), this interview is for you.

I had Lauren Allen, health coach with a focus on hormonal health, come on and give us some practical, real-life tips (and share her amazing story) so we can go from post-Pesach-blah (is it just me?) to feeling more energetic and focused.

Connect with Lauren:

For personal development junkies like us, sefira is kind of our time. It's the time when we put our awareness on different traits and check on how well they are integrated and serve us to be our best selves. So I invited Ruchi Koval to speak to us about how to realistically bring these ideas into our lives to take advantage of this spiritual opportunity.

Ruchi says, "It is the blending of the opposites that creates a sum that is greater than its parts... so I have achieved balance when I have integrated what about my spouse is different from me and can help me to become a more balanced person?"

I think the title pretty much sums it up.

If you're new here, please subscribe!

We're in the pre-Pesach home stretch and if you're looking to get your head on straight, Meira Spivak is your woman! Meira and I talk about the strategies in her book, How to Get Ready for Pesach in Five Days, and how we can set ourselves up for success without having to start cleaning before Chanukah.

Whether you have a tried-and-true system and are just looking for some tips or adjustments or you've never made Pesach and need to create a system from scratch, this interview will get you on track.

Resources:

Does self-improvement ever feel like so much work? Today I've got some really good news for you: you're already way further along than you realize.

This week I'm going to help you see the progress you've ALREADY made, even if you only just realized this area is something you want to work on.

This boost will give you the motivation you need, and deserve, to keep at it.

This is a LANDMARK episode for How to Glow because today's guest has had a tremendous influence on the way that I approach coaching and personal development for you all. Rebbetzin Miriam Kosman is a lecturer, teacher, and author of the book Circle, Arrow, Spiral and she joins me today to discuss what gender is all about in Jewish thought and how that might apply to us in our lives and relationships.

Rivki and I got together to talk about creativity. It was awesome. You should listen. Especially if you don't think you're creative, or you ever had anything be hard, basically, ever.

In this episode:

I finally left social media, after years of thinking about it, considering it, and weighing the pros and cons.

I wanted to share my thought process with you.

Whether your decision is about social media or any other area of your life where you're constantly wavering back and forth, I hope this episode will help you gain some clarity on HOW we can make decisions that we love.

This month we are focusing on Your Big Story--that story that doesn't even feel like a thought, it feels like the TRUTH. It's how you describe your life, how you feel about your life, and if isn't serving you, this is the month for us to find one that will.

We don't want to have to talk about it, but we do.

Have you ever had (or heard) this thought? If he really loved me... he'd remember my birthday, or he'd help me out more, or he'd ask about my day...

We've all been there.

Well, this thought is terrible. It's not just terrible because it feels bad (which it does), it's also terrible because it doesn't get you anywhere productive. Here's how you can check in--imagine yourself thinking this thought. What do you look like? How are you feeling? What are you doing? Now ask: does any of that contribute to you getting more of what you want?

In this week's episode, I'm sharing with you a specific process to go from the "if he really loved me" funk into a truly productive way to approach your marriage.

Ever been in that place where you KNOW you could drop the issue and move on but you just don't WANT to?

That's what this episode is all about.

The best news is: you get to stay angry if you want. Really, I mean it.

But I want you to decide with so much awareness.

This week I'll walk you through a coaching exercise to decide whether to keep or let go of your anger towards your husband (or really anyone else). Save it and repeat as many times for as many situations as you need.

You know when you did that thing and then you were SO ANNOYED that you did it?

It wasn't just about your self control (and it's certainly not that you're "bad"). 

You had a really strong urge to do a thing, and fighting it didn't work.

Today I'm going to share with you something way more effective than fighting your urges, whether it's to eat something that isn't good for you, snap at your husband, say that bit of lashon hara, or go on a Target spending spree. 

If you've ever fallen into the trap of thinking that more time is the solution to all your marriage issues, this is the episode for you. You might actually be spending TOO MUCH time together. (Especially after the holidays!) Check out this week's episode to find out...

• whether you are spending to much time together
• how to have a strong relationship without resorting to more time and dates
• why a weekly date might not be what you need
• how to manage if you have one introvert and one extrovert
• how to get more time and space without insulting your partner

Hi my friends. I did a webinar about a week ago with. Devra from Adai Ad, and I wasn't planning on sending it to the podcast, but I heard back from so many people that it made such a huge difference. That it was exactly the kinds of things that they're worrying about dealing with, struggling with over Yom Tov spending Yom Tov with family, especially if you have young children.

But even if not, managing those dynamics between your husband and your family, or his family, and you and their family and all the different things. Right. Devora had some really phenomenal advice, and of course I'm bringing all the coaching and, um, mindset work and typical relationship things in the whole newlywed experience.

So I asked if it would be okay for me to repost this over here on the podcast. She said yes, because she's awesome and I'm sharing it over here with you. I also wanna let you know that if you're hearing any of this and thinking, okay, but. It sounds really good. I'm not exactly sure how to apply it to my situation or my family, or you know, how we're dealing with things.

We will be working on relationships for the entire month of October. We even have one call during chol hamoed and there will be written coaching. So if you know that you're gonna be needing some support, I am here to support you during that time, and I wanna really, really encourage you to make this the time that you go ahead and join How To Glow Today, because once you're inside, you're gonna have access to the tools that are gonna get you up and running, and you'll be able to get live coaching with me and written coaching. So anytime you have a question, you can just send it in and it'll get back to you within a couple days.

Sometimes even the same day. All right, so this is the way that I have to support you. I know it's making a huge difference for the women that are inside the program, and I really want to be able to help you as well. So you just go to KaylaLevin.com/coaching. You'll be able to sign up immediately and get started on those courses.

So by the time you get to the next call, which we have calls every single week, you'll be ready to go. You'll understand the tools that we use. Everything is made to be really short and simple. So, You're not sitting there watching hours and hours of classes. Nobody has time for that right now, but you could listen while you're doing your cooking or packing, right?

Be ready to get and get some coaching so we can just, let's just fix whatever these issues are so you don't have to be carrying them from year to year. Wouldn't that be amazing? All right, so that is my offer to you, to come inside and join us for October and work on relationships. I will teach you a completely different way to approach relationships. It is not about communication. That will be enough to just show you that it is not what you've heard before , and it is such a massive relief, and it allows you to really appreciate people that you think right now you will never be able to really appreciate.

My job as your coach is to help you become an expert in using your brain. Your unique brain, with its individual quirks, yes. But our brains are so much more similar than they are different. Here are some of the things brains do:

Interpret facts and think it’s reality

Focus on what other people are doing and lose self-awareness

Take ourselves really literally (when I think “I can’t do this,” my brain believes me and responds accordingly)

Check out this week’s episode to learn my favorite tools that I use and teach to help us all be experts in using our brains to create the lives we want.

This week I'm chatting with Rebekah Saltzman, owner of Balagan Be Gone, about how to get ready for yuntif without the stress! I know you'll love her no-nonsense approach, and you'll definitely love the awesome giveaway we have in store for you!

THE GIVEAWAY!

Want to hear the origin story of How to Glow? (Of course you do.)

What is this whole concept of "glow" anyway?

Check out what one of my community members says about it and what got us here in the first place.

Episode Resources:

In Part 2 of this series, I'll be going over solutions for the 5 most common stumbling-blocks in creating a proactive relationship with time and mastering your schedule.

Episode Resources:

Fall is around the corner and many of us are anticipating new routines and structures. Instead of just creating a routine, let's create a schedule we're actually excited to live. This week I'm going to walk you through the five main challenges that you might face when it comes to time. We'll start with awareness and understanding, and dive into strategies and solutions next week.

Episode Resources:

One of my favorite coaching tools that I developed working with newlyweds is the idea of Baseline Self Care.

This not your typical conversation about self care. This is not just about adding what you enjoy into your schedule. This is about understanding that you function on different levels--and the most critical is when you are functioning below BASELINE. 

You know the feeling after pulling an all-nighter? Like you absolutely know you shouldn't make any major decisions? That's called being below baseline.

It's so critical to know what your baseline is because you'll know

a) not to engage in trying to fix anything right now

b) not to evaluate yourself, your husband, or your relationship right now

c) not to take any of your thoughts seriously

Our goal is to get WAY ABOVE baseline--not to get *just* above it. But our response to being below baseline is like a Code Red. We drop everything, including our judgments, until we are back above baseline.

Take this work further with us inside of How to Glow, the online coaching membership for married Jewish women. kaylalevin.com/coaching

It's crazy what a 180 we need to go through to go from dating to marriage. 

Dating: "Can this guy make me happy?"

Marriage: "It's not his job to make me happy... I make MYSELF happy!"

Is this a cop-out?

Is this even possible?

And what's the point of getting married if he's not going to make me happy?

Check out this week's replay for my two episodes all about the tool of Staying In Your Lane. It's one of the best things you can do for your marriage and your own happiness.

Resources from this week's episode:

Today I'm excited to bring you a conversation with Lauren Seidman, a down-to-earth, relatable, and super knowledgeable childbirth educator who runs online classes and also shares her knowledge at her Instagram account @birth_positive

This is a long overdue topic for us here! The more knowledgeable we are, the more we can advocate for ourselves and feel confident in the process. 

Looking forward to hearing your feedback!

Resources from this week's episode: