Marriage Champions

00:00 – Background. Team K.  Family Identity. Outpost of Kingdom. 

04:53 – Origins of everyday discipleship. Seeing the church overseas like in book of Acts and comparing to traditional church in US.

07:17 – Discipleship: Process of moving from unbelief to belief in light of Gospel in every area of life.  Transformation of all areas of life.  Doesn't happen for two hours on Sunday morning.

10:51 – Discipleship is applying the Gospel to every area of life. Live out of identity and do life in community.

14:08 – Importance of a big Gospel.  Applies to all of life not just the afterlife.

17:14 – Six rhythms of life.  Apply to all people in all stages of life.  Bring Gospel into each rhythm, e.g. story formed, listen, celebrate, eat, blessed, and recreate. 

22:40 – Foundational is living out of Gospel identity.  Key is intentionality.  Apply to singles as well as marrieds.

28:17:  Key practices for married couples, e.g. date nights regularly, share heartfelt things, have fun.  Pray together.  Ask God what's next for one's family. 

37:27 – Challenges of spouses not on the same page.

46:32 – Important rhythms for families to regularly practice.  Family dinner nights as a date with family.  Be intentional what you talk about.  Doing story of God with kids.

50:18 – Engage neighbors using open tables.  Happy hours.  Look for persons of peace.  People leaning into relationship.  Be intentional in relationship with them.  Eventually share story of God.

54:39 – Share Gospel, story of God with people.  Find person of peace.  People share their own stories.

58:25 – Intentionality. Predictable patterns. Organic and organized aspects of discipleship. 

1:00:33 – Next steps for everyday discipleship.  www.everydaydisciple.com  Podcasts. Books. Implementing Everyday Discipleship in traditional church setting.

• 00:00 – Background. Faith.  Family.  Involvement with marriage and men's discipleship groups.
• 04:26 – Things he learned from his own marriage.  Importance of communication, and listening. Importance of a supportive environment for marriage.
• 06:46 – Purpose of marriage. Vocation. Gift. Calling.
• 09:26 – Key ingredients of a successful marriage. Communication is key.  Difference between hearing and listening.  Not being defensive.
• 14:41 – Men's discipleship groups.  Men taking responsibility to learn to cherish wives.  Need help from other men to grow.  Growth happens when working through issues. 
• 21:09 – Differences between men and women.  Men like to fix things, including wives.  Wives and marriage aren’t to be fixed.
• 23:48 – Experience with men's discipleship groups for nearly 40 years.  Men and marriages needs support.  Cover three “P's” each meeting.  How men doing with Prayer, Purity, and Partner. 
• 28:34 – Prayer is learning to spend time each day with God through being quiet, scripture, and prayer.  Keep it simple and practical.  Encourage one another.  Purpose is to grow in relationship with Lord.
• 32:42 – Purity.  Important is honesty and confidentiality of what's shared in group.  Significance of pornography.  Bigger problem today with easy access via Internet. The most time is spent on this area.  Helping men learn to understand and relate well to wives.  Talk through situations.  Ask wife questions.  Talk. Deal with issues when they arise. Deal with emotional conflicts, don't avoid.
• 44:13 – Other marriage practices are weekly meeting.  Ask questions.  How things are going with relationship with Lord, what are they learning.  Listen.  Work through things.  Ask spouse, what is one thing they'd like to see changed in me.
• 55:33 – Response from wives to men's groups.
• 57:29 – Format of the men's group meetings.  Meet twice a month from 7:30 pm to 9:30 pm.  Has seven men in his group.
• 1:00:02 – Transformation comes in men's lives by being open, vulnerable, and transparent.  Iron sharpens iron.
• 1:06:04 – Contact information.  Final thoughts. 

• 00:00 – Background. Education. Nuclear physics. Computer science. Counseling. Theology. • 03:44 – Marriage ministry. Counseling degree. Struggles in own marriage. • 05:40 – Reasons for marriage. First human need – not being alone. • 08:42 – Intimacy therapy. Not being alone from God and others. Known and being known. • 11:09 – Different counseling models. Cognitive/behavioral. Emotional Focused therapy. Human motivation underlying therapy models. Biblical motivation: Great Commandment, longing for relationship with God and others. • 14:05 – Key practices for healthy marriages. Weekly date, meeting time. Share lives – vulnerability, honesty about hopes, dreams. Random acts of kindness. • 17:59 – Knowing and meeting relational needs of spouse and children. Acting on the "one another" passages in Scripture. • 22:05 – Finding relational needs in Scripture. • 23:08 – Applying biblical relational skills in business world. Interest in developing financial resources so he could give ministry tools freely to churches. Entrepreneurial experiences with counseling centers. Selling radio stations. • 27:37 – Increased interest in business world for relational skills training. Re-examining purposes of businesses - profit and well-being/flourishing of employees. Putting people first paradigm for business. • 30:01 – Subsidiary benefit of business, relational skills training – strengthening of employees marriages and families. • 33:01 – Implementation of relational skills in company - start at the top, key leaders then multiplying throughout the company. • 35:19 – Benefit of relational skills training in businesses - increased employee engagement. Addresses needs of GenZ'ers, looking for career, cause, and community. • 37:18 – Measuring benefits of relational skills training - improved employee attraction, retention, and engagement. Improved customer satisfaction and bottom line. • 40:50 – Whole life discipleship encompasses marriage, family, and workplace ministry. Not tangential to making disciples but part of it. Having abundant life expressed in all areas of life. Helping pastors see marriage and family relational ministry is good for outreach. Hunger in community for relational help. • 45:11 – Develop a nonlinear approach to Gospel in increasingly post Christian society. Meeting needs, sharing love opens door to sharing Gospel message. • 47:04 – Strengthening pastors' marriages helps strengthen marriage ministry in church. Galatians 6:6 marriage retreats for pastors and spouses. • 49:29 – Take relational skills training into community-wide efforts - churches, schools, workplace, and families. See community transformation. • 51:55 – Resources. Ministry Website: www.greatcommandment.net. Workplace/Community Website: www.relationalvalues. com. Email: info@relationalvalues.com.

• 0:24 – Personal story. Struggles in first year of marriage. Didn't invest in marriage. Jesus became priority in their lives.
•  04:39 – What is grace? God's unmerited favor. Ongoing blessing and good God gives us.
•  05:34 – What a grace marriage looks like.  Love one another as Jesus loves us. Different paradigm from a performance based marriage.  
•  09:16 – Strengthen marriage for future challenges and struggles. Be connected. Communicate.
• 11:59 – Keys to good communication. Be a good listener. Be a good sharer. Control cell phone use.
• 16:12 – Ways to approach money, sex.  Primary goal is to understand one another in different areas.  Money generates conflict.  Sex is awkward.  Important to have open communication.
• 19:39 – Applying 80/20 Rule to marriage. Make grace the focus. Spend a lot of time together.  
• 21:22 – Time blocking in marriage. Weekly date nights. Quarterly time to look at big picture. Annual getaway time. 
• 22:24 – Advice for husbands. Ask wife if they see anything in your life more important than her. Make them a top priority so marriage is attractional to others. 
• 24:06 – Advice to wives. Seek security from Jesus. Pursue a good marriage. 
• 25:15 – Vision for Grace Marriage Ministry. Seeing churches shepherd and disciple marriages and stabilize families. Give hope to society which will only come when marriage regains traction in society.
• 26:39 – Why marriage isn't a priority in local church. Indifference. Apathy. Poor pastors' marriages. 
• 29:03 – Message to pastors on the importance of marriage.  Most important horizontal relationship.  A central message in Bible. If marriages aren't working nothing else works.  Prayer and marriage are the key.
• 30:34 – Grace Marriage isn't a program but ongoing ministry platform for marriages. Programs often aren't transformative because they are short term and people revert back to old habits.  Grace marriage has seven years of curriculum. Ongoing investment is needed for change. 
• 33:15 – Couples meet quarterly to celebrate victories, make adjustments, and plan for next 90 days.  Also, there are monthly and small group meeting options.
• 38:50 – For more information: www.gracemarriage.com  Distinctives from other marriage efforts:  grace focused and long term, not study or conference based. Goal:  See marriage ministry operating procedures in every church.  

• 00:29 – Rock climbing as a metaphor for Christian discipleship. 
• 02:51 – Path to becoming a pastor and pastoring for 40 years.  Experiencing various ministry opportunities.  Working with well-known church growth leader, Frank Tillapaugh.  
• 09:58 – Experience speaking at Family Life’s Weekend to Remember events - 85 retreats in over 20 years.  
• 12:28 – Experience with premarital education.  Growth and impact of cohabitation over the years.  Impact of increasing busyness and social media on marriage relationships. Drift in relationships.
• 16:22 – Advice for young married couples.  Establish marriage relationship apart from control of parents, faith commitment, and understanding God's design for marriage.  Pursue oneness and making investment in relationship versus moving towards isolation.  
• 21:15 – Practical habits couples can adopt to strengthen marriage, e.g. eating meals together and table talk.  Go to bed together and pray together.  Get in small group with other couples. 
• 25:02 – Couple’s small group.  Elements of group meeting:  Scripture study. No more than 8 people.  Share personal life stories.  Vulnerability builds trust.  
• 27:20 – Difference between men and women.  Men process internally and don't share emotions.  Don't have close friends they can share with heart to heart.
• 32:25 – Women desire deeper, emotional connections.  Don't always share respect and admiration for husband, something men greatly need.
• 37:20 – Passion area is ministry to men. Relationship with father and his friends growing up.  Eventually started IronWorks, a ministry to men in his church.  
• 39:56 – War on manhood in culture.  Lack of male role models is huge challenge for men.  
• 43:21 – Key habits men need to cultivate.  Reject passivity.  Accept responsibility.  Have other men in life.  Do the right thing slowly but surely.  Engage Scriptures personally.  Be in a bigger fellowship.
• 47:01 – Elements of men's group.  Meet at least twice a month.  Eight men or less.  Do inductive Bible study.  Share personal lives.  Share leadership of group.
• 52:24 – Importance of continuity and stability in men's group.  
• 53:47 – Reason many men don't participate in church, fear of being exposed, not measuring up. 
• 57:40 – Men's ministry - toughest ministry to sustain in a church.  Reasons marriage ministry isn't priority in churches: pastor's marriage may not be healthy, pastor doesn't have time for it, doesn't feel qualified to lead it, or thinks it should happen on its own.
• 1:02:46 – Advice for people wanting to start a marriage or men's ministry in a church.  Find a team. Do things which don't cost anything or require permission.  Start with a small group then do an event later on.  Take a group to an event at another church and then do follow up to event in own church.
• 1:06:35 – Integrating couple and men's and women's groups.
• 1:10:38 – Making marriage ministry a part of regular preaching in a church.   Hear stories from pastor about his marriage.
• 1:12:55 – Resources. For Marriage:  Family Life, familylife.com  Dennis Rainey at theraineys.com.  Books:  John Eldredge, Fathered by God. Tim Keller, Meaning of Marriage. Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerich. For Men:  Organization, authenticmanhood.com.  Robert Lewis' betterman.com.  Wild at Heart podcast with John Eldredge.
• 1:16:32 – Battle for marriage and men is at the center of the battle in our culture.  Expect persecution. 

· 00:36 – Background. First involvement with marriages. Helping young married couples. Pastor of family life. Marriage Counselor. Training marriage mentor couples in churches.

· 08:23 – Difference between a marriage mentor, coach, and counselor.

· 10:04 – Developing marriage mentoring program. Mentoring is two on two discipleship. Content of marriage mentoring. Ten Topics.

· 12:31 – Biggest problem in marriages. "Idol worship." Looking to spouse to give them fulfillment, make them happy.

· 17:07 – Couples addressing own issues first.  Helping them develop new habits, skills, and practices.  Do home assignment.  Lifelong process.

· 22:46 – Train others to be marriage mentors in churches. Finding mentoring couples. Pastoral leadership is key.

· 26:44 – Recruiting and identifying potential marriage mentors.

· 30:18 – Content of marriage mentor training. Education class to learn relationship skills then Prepare/Enrich training.

· 32:38 – Biggest challenge to starting marriage mentoring program - lack of couples to mentor. Changing culture of church to support marriage.

· 37:07 – Marriage ministry is foundational to the church and to community.

· 41:45 – Components of his marriage ministry: Valentine’s Day dinner, Parents’ Night Out, marriage education class, Marriage Olympics, retreats, marriage first responders course.

· 49:25 – Utilize marriage activities to reach people outside the church.

· 50:30 – Marriage Olympics - fun, relational event.

· 52:25 – Content of marriage "advance" retreats.

· 55:51 – Getting help from others to start a marriage ministry in one's church.

· 59:22 – Steps for starting marriage ministry in one's church.

· 1:01:52 – Healthy Marriages Coalition. Ministry to reach out to community and train marriage mentors.

· 1:05:19 – Resources for marriage. People. Books. Programs courses. Keller. Tripp. Eggerich. Marriage First Responders. Personal contact information.

· 00:30 –  Background. Interest in law. Path to marriage ministry.  

· 04:09 – Marriage ministry passions - counseling, events, and helping couples honor their marriages.

· 06:44 – Practical steps for helping other couples. Pray for specific couple. Reach out and befriend a couple. Take out for coffee. Babysit for younger couples.

· 11:11 –  Major challenges facing couples. Busyness. Disconnected. Remedy - daily check in times with spouse.

· 14:58 – Questions for connecting. Asking about highs and lows of day. How are relationships with friends and family members. Find conversation starter questions for spouse on Internet. Keep on phone.

· 19:03 – Daily practices to strengthen marriage - daily check in times. Greet with affection. Quick prayer times,

· 26:46 – Working on marriage when spouse isn't interested.

· 31:10 – Seeking help for marriage. Find couple you respect. Talk with them. Focus on Family has list of vetted marriage counselors.

· 34:57 – How to start a marriage ministry in church. Training up mentors to take burden off pastors. Cultivate openness about marriage struggles in church. Couples share marriage stories in church.

· 40:49 – How to approach pastor when offering to help with marriage ministry in church.

· 44:59 – Praying for a couple to support and invest in. Invite to home. Tell story. Be honest with struggles. Read marriage book as couples.

· 48:08 – Resources Greg recommends:  Tim Keller, Meaning of Marriage. Gary Chapman, Five Love Languages. Les and Leslie Parrott books. Julie Slattery ministry, “Authentic Intimacy”. Greg and Erin Smalley, Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage.

· 49:44 – Focus on the Family's free marriage assessment. Shows strengths and growth areas. Take and discuss with another couple. www.family.com, go to marriage section.

· 50:50 – Essence of honoring marriage as a couple.

• 00:16 – Background – family, marriage ministry. Impact of men's groups on life. 

• 04:51 – Watermark Church’s impact on vision for marriage ministry. 

• 05:58 – Why so few churches have marriage ministries. Importance and impact of marriage ministries. 

• 08:30 – Raising awareness of importance of marriage ministry in local church. 

• 10:29 – Reactive v. proactive marriage ministry. Working with people at different stages of relationship. 

• 13:42 – Developing a comprehensive marriage ministry, e.g. dating, seriously dating, newlywed, young parents, enrichment, crisis, blended families, single parent family, and contemplating divorce. 

• 16:58 – Normalizing struggles and challenges all couples face. Marriage checkups. 

• 19:27 – Helping children and youth develop a healthy vision for marriage and family life. 

• 20:53 – State of life - single or married. Singles and marrieds interacting. 

• 22:49 – Importance of lay couples proactively seeking help when needed or offering to help couples and take burden off of pastor. Realizing many pastors may have own marital struggles. 

• 26:33 – State of Christian marriage today. Fewer getting married. Cohabitation. Ubiquitous nature of pornography and corrosive effect on relationships. Value placed on marriage is in decline. 

• 33:27 – Problem of pornography and negative impact on relationships. 

• 37:40 – Why churches are hesitant to talk about pornography. 

• 40:46 – Topics in his book, Ready or Knot? Goals for book: biblical, authentic, and practical. Discussion of different topics.

• 43:03 – Communication and conflict resolution. Foundational marriage skills. 

• 46:00 – Key dynamics of good communication. 

• 47:33 – Faith in Christ is foundation of marriage. Discuss before marriage. 

• 53:23 – Living with one another in an understanding way. 

• 55:00 – Finances. Biblical view of money. Stewardship mentality. 

• 56:12 – Biblical roles or responsibilities for men and women. Confusion in world today. 

• 1:00:16 – Couples’ small group dynamics. Men's group's role in helping men be men. 

• 1:03:34 – Emotional intimacy. Intimacy is knowing and being known without fear of rejection. Intimacy in marriage. When to share and not share. 

• 1:07:32 – Three types of marriage relationships - traditional, egalitarian, transitional. Husbands assuming responsibility and initiative for marriage and family. 

• 1:12:13 – Sex. Finding sexual fulfillment. Personal identity tied to sex. Baggage brought into marriage affects sex life. 

• 1:17:30 – Relationship with family and in-laws. Forming a new family. Relationships change. 

• 1:19:24 – Dynamics of marriage relationship. Constant companion, roommate, or best friends. 

• 1:20:51 – Pursuing community as a couple. Help live out life God calls us to. 

• 1:21:44 – Discussing view of children in home and lives before marriage. What future will look like. 

• 1:23:20 – Advice for different stages of life together, e.g. dating, newly married, married with young kids, high school age children, empty nesters. 

• 1:24:44 – Prayer in marriage. When and how to prayer. What to pray for. Two way communication. Praying the Scriptures. 

• 1:30:46 – Resources available. Watermark Church marriage materials. Gary Thomas. Paul Tripp. Podcasts: Willis' and Frederick’s. 

• 1:32:17 – Contact information. www.scottkedersha.com Book - Ready or Knot? Harris Creek Church – “Uncommon Family” sermon series - https://www.harriscreek.org/sermons/

00:02 Background. Work in politics and policy. Family experiences. Community wide marriage initiative in Jacksonville, FL. Start of Communio.

08:05 Foundational importance of marriage and family to society and church. Impact of marriage on church participation. Youth work is a “search and rescue” mission. Central importance of marriage and family ministry in the church.

17:00 Cohabitation. Impact and consequences on relationships. Different impact on men and women. Impact of 70/30 disparity of women to men in churches.

29:48 Importance of fathers in lives of children. Link between lack of fathers and loss of belief in God. Centrality of marriage in Scripture.

40:08 “Felt” need in society is relational health. Reaching people in the community.

48:50  State of marriage in churches. 85% of churches spend zero ministry dollars on marriage. Communio's marriage ministry model - data informed, full circle relationship ministry. Need to overcome thinking that marriage ministry is only for troubled marriages.

55:38 Ministry Engagement Ladder helps churches help couples. Four elements: Invitation, Outreach, Ongoing Engagement, and Growth Journey.

1:01:28 Problem isn't lack of great marriage resources but utilization by couples. Problem is hesitancy of couples to admit need. Mindset shift is needed first among pastors and church leaders. Helping local churches run an evangelization ministry around healthy relationships and marriages in their communities.

1:08:03  Vision of churches as "epicenters for relational health" in the local community. Effective ministry is built on vision, community, and skills training. Must also be relevant and fun.

1:12:05 Marriage ministry in church is for all couples in the church. Institution of marriage used by God to draw people to Himself.

1:15:24 Christ changes our cities through churches and marriage ministry. 40 - 60 churches in a metropolitan area can change its culture. Healthy marriages are very attractive to people.

1:19:30 Marriage and family are foundation for evangelism not youth ministry. Healthy marriages and families are the cultural precondition, the pathway for reconversion of the world.

1:23:05 Additional information and resources from www.communio.org and www.endgame.org.

· 08:05 Importance of community to strengthen marriage and family. Challenges of early marriage years. Time of discovery, reorientation.

· 14:09 Grace of God, Holy Spirit to get through hard times. Importance of forgiveness.

· 18:42 Importance of role models and children who help us to change.

· 20:03 Key marriage practices, e.g. prayer, regulating media intake as a family, and regular husband/wife meetings.

· 24:38 Dynamics of a weekly husband/wife meeting.

· 27:35 Value of a couples' small group.

· 29:38 Benefits of a men's and women's groups.

· 32:07 Dynamics of successful small groups.

· 35:44 Marriage as a vocation, a calling. Purpose found in Genesis 1 & 2.

· 42:11 Practical steps, skills to learn when preparing for marriage. Developing relational skills.

· 47:03 Role as a parent, how to view children. Considering parenting when making work decisions. Father and mother roles in raising children. Creating a culture in the home.

· 54:53 Building a life together as a couple not operating as individuals.

· 56:54 Stewarding our children. Giving them proper priority.

· 1:01:43 Elements of a two year program for young, married couples. Meeting in homes, in small groups, and learning relationship, communication, finance, and parenting skills.

· 1:05:54 Small groups encourage, support one another.

· 1:07:25 Starting young married program in local church body. Have support of pastor. Local leadership. Creating community in church among couples and families. Make commitments.

· 1:17:29 Contact info for Ed Gross, egrossatty@hotmail.com, on young marriage program.

00:37 Experience as Dallas Cowboys chaplain.  Relationship with Coach Tom Laundry.

08:01 Background - Family, father as a role model.

15:51 Importance of a father in a child's life. Looking at Scriptures. Raising up next generation.

38:33 Characteristics of a good father.

53:42 Loving, caring, modeling, investing in others. Personal accountability.

1:00:24 Commitment in marriage. Serving as an example to others.

1:26:39 Leaving a legacy for others. Thanking others for their investment in our lives.

00:32 Robert's background and upbringing.

07:58 Growing confusion, challenges facing men in changing culture, society.

11:55 Definition, qualities of a man. God's design for men. Qualities laid out in Genesis.

22:20 Application of four pillars to single men's lives.

25:39 Manhood blessing Jesus received. Application to fathers and sons today.

30:15 Marriage models: traditional, egalitarian, biblical. What they are. What works and doesn't work.

38:15 Three callings of husbands rooted in loving wife as Christ loved the church. Feels loved. See husband's faith. Provide for so she has freedom to use her gifts.

45:14 Male and female roles in marriage. Flexibility v. rigidity during seasons of marriage.

50:30 Man as servant leader. Woman as helper, nurturer. Meaning of terms. Sacred callings.

53:11 Cultural context when Paul lived and wrote letters in New Testament. Similar to today in key respects. Biblical concepts - headship, submission - and their meaning.

58:11 Husbands as servant leaders. Countercultural then and now.

59:47 Submission, encouraging husband to carry out his responsibilities in home. Tendency of men to avoid responsibility. Submission is a response not a role.

1:03:28 Headship - As a curse or a blessing.

1:06:41 Caricatures of headship.

1:08:10 Broken manhood and consequences lived out in marriages, families, and society. Importance of male friendships to restore and strengthen men.

1:13:44 Example of restoring manhood in the life of a prisoner and his relationship with his son.

1:18:33 Elements of effective men's groups.

1:20:45 Critical role men need to play in restoring families and societies.

1:22:21 Change is lifelong process but richness comes with each step taken.

1:23:45 Lessons to be learned from AA approach.

1:25:33 Men's Fraternity and BetterMan, men's programs and curricula, introduces men to fundamentals of manhood and male community.

1:28:37 Life's calling. Message on headstone in cemetery.

1:35:34 Dealing with regrets and past mistakes today.  Humility. Forgiveness. Blessing children. Moving ahead as a godly man.

00:46 Personal journey taught her about emotional, spiritual and relational health. Gained tools to help others today.

05:22 Challenges and 18 years on mission field led her and husband to coach others about relational and emotional skills.

09:30 Traumas, challenges taught skills for connecting with God and others at a heart level. Power and importance of joy and appreciation.

15:27 Immanuel Prayer for building intimacy with God. Use of theophostic prayer to address difficult memories.

20:51 Life Model Works, applying brain science to theology. Power of joy in difficult circumstances. Thrive organization helps people develops develop relational skills and experience joy.

25:34 Joy helps one suffer well, develop resilience.

29:06 65 million people  left traditional churches. Missing community, deep relationships. Churches need to teach relational skills.

31:24 Post Christian culture requires new structures and organizations to meet needs. Moving to household based groups. Early church experience.

40:06 Connecting with LK10 which seeks to create "vibrant families of Jesus." Develop skills of connecting with Jesus and others at a heart level. Family as a church. Danger of neglecting children when in Christian work.

51:51 Challenges of connecting with spouse at heart level. Connecting with children.

58:18 Learning to listen to Jesus. Doing in community. Safeguards.

1:01:37 Checking in. Connecting at heart level with others. Use of appreciation, gratitude stories. Sharing predominant emotions. SASHET tool.

1:04:53 Listening to Jesus by asking Him questions.

1:06:40 Book, Joy Fueled, is good introduction to LK10 and key practices of checking in and listening. Connecting with LK10 at www.lk10.com. Implementing it in your family or with others.

1:09:47 Connecting with family at heart level around the dinner table. Being creative. Working with children.

1:14:00 Luke 10:2b prayer changes focus of prayer from me to God. What is the harvest field.

1:18:08 The family as church and implications of that.

1:23:02 Books and other resources from LK10, www.lk10.com

00:27 Growing up in broken home. Importance of grandfather as role model.

07:44 His call to start a men's ministry.

10:02 What is manhood? Ways people have tried to define it. Bible and Jesus define it.

25:49 Manhood. Identity in Christ.

33:23 Marriage relationship and God as head of marriage.

39:50 Importance of openness, honesty in marriage. Dealing with sin issues.

47:14  Five reasons men request help in their marriages.

49:27 Importance of men being in relationship with other men. Studying Bible. Being open about lives. Praying together. Problem of men isolating from others. Taking personal responsibility for these areas.

56:10 Jesus is the leader in marriage and husband and wife are following Him.

1:03:10 Hearing and following God's leading in our lives and relationships.

1:20:05 Wives can help husbands by praying for them to be open and transparent, be in a men's group, and respect them.

1:25:30 Dangers of apathy and passivity in marriage.

Contact info for Vince and Resolute.  https://beresolute.org

00:42  Redemptive story of Matt's parents' marriage.

07:28  Matt's background. Dare's creation. Partnership with Love & Respect.

12:22  Biggest challenges facing marriages today.

16:43  Roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives and working that out in marriage.

22:46  Husbands and wives making decisions and negotiating together.

26:05  Husbands being leaders not dictators in marriage.

30:08  Creation of Dare - marriage mentor program.  Elements of program.

32:46  Qualities of marriage mentors.  Dare elements:  assesssment, mediation process - round the bases, use of scripture, address heart issues.

40:11  Teaching couples to identify problems and solve them through negotiation process.

43:01  Highest success rate for marriage mentors.

45:09  State of marriage ministry in local church.  Vision for marriage is critical.

48:43  Why marriage and family ministry are critical for health of local church.

51:53  Steps for developing marriage mentoring ministry in local church.

1:00:02  Learning to negotiate win/win in own marriage.

1:04:04  Lifestyle of "rounding the bases" in own marriage.

1:05:55  Contact information for Matt and next steps.

01:13:  Personal experience with marriage: challenges, frustration and change of attitude. 

07:52:  Changed perspective on marriage. Important influencers, e.g. Family Life, Tony Evans, developing a biblical perspective on life and marriage.  

10:39  Challenges facing marriages today.  Impact of feminist movement.

12:52  Key attitude towards marriage.  Glorify God.  Showing love and respect.  Don't try and change spouse.

7:50  Ways to improve your marriage. Appreciation, manners, listening, and spending time together. 

26:25  Differences.  Men are like waffles; women are like spaghetti.

27:29  Priority of marriage relationship in family.

30:37  Lack of respect drives husbands away.

35:32  Important role fathers play in lives of children.

38:31  Advice for young women entering marriage.

40:48  Difference between coaching and counseling.

42:07  Working with women.  Individual counseling and group coaching.

45:21  Marriage courses and workshops Sheila offers women.  Topic covered.

51:56  Keys to successful marriage for wives:  self care, soul care, smile, and gratitude.

54:20  Contact information.  www.thenotsoexcellentwife.com.  sheila@thenotsoexcellentwife.com

56:11  Importance of marriage support networks.

58:01  Importance of perseverance and hope in hard times.

00:53 Background and training at John Paul II Institute: Impact of Dr. Francis Martin on His life.

07:59 State of theology on marriage. Impact of unbiblical understanding of human person. Biblical view of marriage.

19:15 Biblical vision of marriage in Genesis.

27:05 Importance of marriage and family being rediscovered. Subtext of marriage and family in Genesis 2 and Ephesians 5.

46:32 Continuity and discontinuity between Old and New Testaments. Example of divorce.

1:03:25 Impact of believers on nonbelievers in a marriage, a family – I Corinthians 7.

1:15:57 Family as the carrier of the Covenant in Old and New Testament.

1:24:14 Cultural crisis leading to deeper understanding of marriage, human person, and holiness of marriage and family.

1:24:57 Relationship between family and church. Role of the Holy Spirit in Church and Family.

1:35:31 Being Faithful as husbands, fathers, and families in post Christian society.

1:44:12 Christian versus society’s understanding of marriage.

1:51:08 Family functioning as the domestic church. Practices. Raising children.

2:05:48 Challenges to masculinity and femininity. Role of fathers and mothers. Nature of love.

2:17:35 Meaning and nature of headship in Bible.  Husband, wife relationship.

2:40:53 Mutual submission between husbands and wives. Sacrificial leadership in the home.

2:43:48 Recommendations for faithful living in post Christian society as men and women, families.

2:52:01 Example of Joseph, the father of Jesus, as a faithful father, husband, and man of God.

01:03  Care Ministry Responsibilities:  marriage, prayer, freedom, visitation, meals and missionary care.

02:25  How they met and got married.

04:12  Beginning of marriage ministry work at River Valley Church.

08:05  Lessons learned in own marriage.  Any brokenness in our lives is brought into marriage.  Importance of support groups, friends.

15:35  Advice for young, married couples.  Never us "divorce" word.  Pray together.  Practice forgiveness.  Commitment.

22:26  Importance of becoming one in marriage.

25:27  Importance of dating in marriage.  Dating ideas. 

29:34  Why churches don't make marriage a priority and what they could do to make it a priority.  Importance of vision for marriage and making it a priority.  

34:47  Importance of marriage ministry in a church.

38:01  Qualities of "Marriage Champions":  Commitment to follow Christ and work on own marriage, authenticity, approachable, and reaching out to others.

42:50  Creative ideas for reaching out.  Dinner evenings.

48:25   Mentors.  Commitment to mentor one to couples a year.  Use Dare to be Different's Marriage Health Assessment.  Use 8 week marriage course.  Leader qualities.

1:05:27  Marriage enrichment for church pastors.

1:10:49  Small groups.  Elements of effective groups and small group leaders:  confidentiality,  listening skills, relational, discussion time, and prayer. 

1:13:58  Marriage small group curricula.  Specific, helpful marriage courses.  Freedom course and Freedom Encounter retreat.

1:25:51  Promise Principle groups for men and women.  Scripture.  Prayer.  Hearing God.  Obedience.

1:30:56  For Your Marriage booklet.  Husband and wife vision retreat.  River Valley Marriage page at www.rivervalley.org 

1:34:40  Growing in relationship.  Seasons of life.  Legacy.  Having fun together.

01:23  Work as a pastor.  Discernment counseling in churches.

05:36  Journey to marriage ministry - personal marriage, experience in church.

05:55  Building a strong church by strengthening marriages and families.  Why marriage isn't a priority in many churches.  Body of Christ is last hope for marriage.

23:56  Condition of marriage in churches and way forward.  Evangelism and attractiveness of healthy marriages.

35:50  Importance of transparency and honesty in churches.

38:31  Role of marriage and family ministry in churches.  Priority Scripture places on marriage and family.  Myth of soulmates.

47:02  Tim Keller's marriage teaching and church's emphasis on marriage.  Role of relational ministry in our churches.

51:01  Steps churches can take to assess marriage and family needs and address them.  Establish marriage ministry team.

59:05  Impact of Covid and changing way we do church.  People looking for deeper relational connection.

1:04:37  Teaching children about marriage, relationships, and identity.

1:11:57  Premarital education - start before engagement.  Teaching children about marriage.  Resources.

1:17:16  Marriage enrichment - things to do.

1:22:11  Prerequisites for being Marriage Mentors/Champions.

1:30:55  Friends First Responders - Helping hurting marriages. 

1:36:51  Finding resources on YouTube, Internet.  Good books.

1:41:41 Contacting Russ Berg:  www.russberg.org

00:57  Book wrote with father, Dr. Bill Harley - Let's Get Growing, Christian!

06:30  Background:  wife, mother, PhD in educational psychology, researcher, author, marriage counselor, creator of Four Gifts of Love Course.

15:42  Challenges facing marriages today:  Screwtape Letters and distractions.  

28:51  The Four Gifts of Love:  Romantic love, long lasting marriage. 

32:48  Romantic love:  Litmus test, barometer.  Tells where a couple is at in their relationship.  Sign of exceptional care.

33:42   Goal of Four Gifts of Love Course: Passion for God and romantic love with spouse.  

38:20  Best friendship and marriage.

40:13  What are the Four Gifts of Love:  Care, protection, honesty, and time.

45:00  Extraordinary care:  Defining and meeting emotional needs.

50:05  Gift of protection:  Avoid being source of unhappiness.

52:53  Gift of honesty.

53:34  Gift of time:  15 hours a week of undivided attention.

57:08  Warning sign of marriage problems:  Lack of time spent together.

1:00:13  What to do when one person wants to save the marriage and other spouse is indifferent.

1:04:07  Impact of stopping love busters.

1:09:13  Being a Marriage Champion.  What should a person do?

1:14:54  Finding out more about Four Gifts of Love Course.

1:17:40  Goal of Four Gifts of Love Course:  Oneness.

00:36  Background and Interest in marriage.

14:07  Awakening a vision for strengthening marriages.  Key elements, practices of strong marriages - friendship, presence of Holy Spirit, Bible.

19:07  Creation of five week "Marriage in Christ" seminar.

24:05  Example of devotion time with spouse includes prayer, scripture, sharing.

27:09  Picture of marriage in Bible - covenant love, icon, image of God.

31:37  Key habits for strengthening marriages.  Deepen conversation with spouse.

36:51  Awareness of Holy Spirit at work in relationship, prayer, daily life.

48:21  Family as the domestic church:  relationship of love, service, and prayer.

54:16  Family is center for evangelism and discipleship.

55:41  Marriage ministry in local church, small groups.

1:05:36  Importance of prayer in marriage.

1:09:59  Romance, theology of the body, Song of Songs

1:15:37  Marriage in Christ seminar - five weeks, priorities, Holy Spirit, practices.

1:23:00  Biblical meditations on marriage - Genesis through Revelation.

Episode #3 - Being an Effective Listener, Levels of Listening, Listening with the Heart, Understanding and Engaging Emotions, Role of Emotions, Marriage Intimacy through Trust and Openness

01:38  Personal marriage journey, joys and sorrows.

12:30  Understanding what we contribute to the pain in our marriages.

16:37  Learning to be an effective listener.  Levels of listening.

24:40  Listening with the heart.  Understanding and engaging emotions.

29:42  Emotional fluency.  Processing emotions like anger.

33:52  Resources for dealing with anger.  Emotional maturity.  Role of emotions.  Examples.

43:52  Managing or suppressing emotions.

45:29  Practical steps for dealing with emotions.

50:40  The marriage relationship.  Getting to intimacy through trust and vulnerability.

57:35  Developing trust in marriage.

1:02:05  Creating vulnerability in marriage.  

1:04:02  Building connection in marriage; things to do.

1:09:28  How affairs arise in a marriage.

1:11:12  How trust, connection, and intimacy in marriage mirror our relationship with God.

1:19:54  Relationship with God - win His approval or know His deep love for us.

Episode #2 - Online Marriage Mentor Training, Dealing with Emotions, Six Steps to Improve Marriage Satisfaction, Starting a Marriage Ministry in a Church 

00:59  Background in business and interest in marriage ministry.

03:38  Lessons learned from own marriage challenges:  communication, emotions, etc.

15:12  Getting third party help.  Dealing with emotions.

19:54  Leaning in and leaning out spouses.

22:00  Six steps to improving marriage satisfaction.

26:30  Learning to listen to emotions.

31:15  Understanding internal triggers and ways we were raised.

35:08  Understanding conflict patterns.

36:59  Learning to process resentment.

39:39  Building intimacy in marriage.

41:02  Marriage mentors and champions.  Who are they and what are they like?

48:56  Value of couples mentoring couples.

50:43  Creating Connected Marriage program; its tools and concepts.

56:52  10 Hour Course: Six Key Steps.

58:11  Working with marriages in a megachurch and a smaller church.

1:04:03  Challenge of getting people in struggling marriages to seek help.

1:08:43  Things to consider when starting a marriage ministry in a church.

1:10:49  Encouraging transparency and openness in marriage in churches.

1:15:00  Contact info for Connected Marriage and training marriage mentors.

Episode #1 - Training up Marriage Mentors, Friends First Responders, Discernment Counseling, Keys to a Successful Marriage, Three Questions to Ask to Save a Marriage 

01:37  Background studying and teaching Hebrew.

08:00  Created marriage ministry while pastoring a church.

09:44  Setting up marriage ministry utilizing lay leaders in church.

10:56  Use and benefit of premarital diagnostic tools - find issues and where to start.

20:23  Tool for dealing with depression by David Burns.

21:50  State of marriage ministry and counseling in the local church.

25:15  Raising up marriage champions in churches.

30:09  Impact of churches with marriage saving reputations in community.

34:14  Ambassadors of Hope Program - Marriage Champions.

37:19  Communication dates with spouse and children.

43:29  Three questions to ask to save a marriage.

48:03  Friends First responder tool for helping marriages of friends and family.

53:12  Soft and hard reasons for divorce.

58:26  Discernment counseling tool for church leaders and professionals.

1:02:33  Keys to a successful marriage - grace and forgiveness.

1:06:59  Drifting away from spouse - answers, solutions.

1:13:08  Who is and how to become a Marriage Champion?

1:16:47  Example of a Marriage Champion in NFL.

1:18:34  Helpful marriage resources and authors.

1:19:44  Contac info for Hope for the Hurting Home.

1:20:14  Prospects for marriage ministry in the future.