The Unexpected Detour ❤️
By Frances Hammond
Frances, a warrior, shares her tale so raw, Breast cancer, the adversary she faced with awe, she unravels the threads of diagnosis and treatment, Side effects unspoken, a realm of enlightenment.
Life's detours, those unexpected bends, they find us all, like secret messages life sends, Frances invites others to join her quest, to converse about twists, turns, and life's unrest.
The Unexpected Detour ❤️Jan 30, 2020
To Be Transparent
Being transparent isn’t just about physical clarity; it’s about openness, honesty, and vulnerability.
Order your autographed copy of Alopecia or Cancer This is Me at theunexpecteddetour.net
Thank You
We're so grateful for the voices who joined us this Black History Month. A special thanks to Steven Lewis, Octavia SoulSista Cohen, Andrea C, Dwayne Graham, Eric Benson, Danielle Atherton-Bonner, Kimberly Policano, Selena Cherry and Ranelle Wilson for sharing their powerful detours. Please check out The Unexpected Detour podcast available across podcast platforms.
Ranelle Wilson - The Art of Contouring
degree and started a job in the medical field. She, like most of the younger generation that I have interviewed, prefers to work for themselves and that was exactly what she does as a body sculptor.
Ranelle technique is non-invasive body sculpting using wood to help fight cellulite. As a client I can honestly say I walked
away after each session wanting more. What makes her different is that she explains what she is doing and why, she also offers suggestions. She not only has women as clients but also men. Set up a date with you better half spend time getting your bodies sculpted together.
She is setting up meal preparations to aid her clients to
stay on the path to keeping a healthy lifestyle.
She is in Hopewell Junction, Dutchess County and The Bronx.
Follow on IG: thebodybando_
linktr.ee/Thebodybando
#RanelleWilson #TheBodyBando #bodysculpting # woodtherapy
#couples #men #women #cellulite #noninvasive
Selena Cherry- The Aroma is Breathtaking
My special guest today is Selena Cherry, she's a mother grandmother, she works a full-time job and is a solopreneur. She and I met her at church, I would love to go to church and see her outside. She had that biggest smile and would hug you as you came through the door. It was later that I found out she was on a ministry called the SMILE ministry.
Selena loves candles and the scents but would suffer from migraine. It was then she decided to create her own candles.
Selena and I were in an MLM but she moved on and figured that,” Why make money for someone else when I can make money for myself.” That is exactly what she did and that was the beginning of Bambery Street Creations.
As a customer I highly recommend Bambery Street Creations and guarantee you will not be disappointed.
Website: https://www.bambreystreetcreations.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Bambrey-Street-Creations/100067083769449/
E-mail: bambreystreetcandles@gmail.com
Kimberly Policano- Second Chances
Today I had the pleasure of speaking with Kimberly Policano. Kim and I met and worked when she was eighteen years old. Although she may have left, we reconnected in 2005.
Kim was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of twenty-five, but as time went by, she her kidneys would no longer function properly. Determined to keep living, she went on kidney dialysis for seven years when she would receive her new kidney. She was on her way back to normalcy and a detour hit she never expected. She was dealing with an old wound on her left foot that became infected sepsis. The sepsis was in her blood system and began to travel to the upper portion of her leg and to save her she had her leg amputated below the knee.
Despite this whole ordeal she has remained upbeat and encourages those who may be on this journey. If you or anyone you know may be going through detours like her reach out to her and hopefully her journey will encourage you.
Contact her via Facebook Messenger: Kimberly Policano
Instagram-misspolimoore
Danielle Atheron-Bonner “Mrs. Makes It Happen”
I had the pleasure of interviewing Danielle Atheron-Bonner who hails from The Bronx, NY.She is a force to be reckoned with and a powerhouse of a woman.I met her while attending church with my mother and my mother who always spoke highly of her. Danielle is a wife, a mother and a woman who is her own boss. She is a teacher; she is licensed to sell real estate in three states and currently works on her license in a fourth state. She not only sells real-estate she also owns a few real estate properties.While speaking with her she made an awesome comparison of why Baby Boomers stay at the same job: whereas her generation knows when to fold and move forward. As she calls it the “POWER OF QUITTING”. As you listen to her you’ll understand that power.Facebook: Dani Does Real Estate Facebook: Dani Does Law & Policy: In PracticeYouTube: danidoesthisandthat#danidoesrealestate #powerinquitting #danidoeslaw #teacher #enterpreneur #lawandpolicy
Eric Benson-It's Time To Live
Today's guest is Eric Benson who I've known all his life because he is my cousin. Eric grew up in the Bronx in the streets selling drugs not to his liking, but it was a way of survival. As Eric got older, he became very good at what he did being a hustler until that fateful day when he killed someone. At the time of the killing, he was a young father of a son. The next time I heard about Eric, he was sentenced to life in prison for murder. He served 27 years and 6 months behind bars, but those 27 years and months were not in vain. He decided he wanted to better his life and by that he went to school in prison. He took advantage of those opportunities that some prisoners wouldn't to better himself. He got his associate degree, bachelor’s degree and his master’s degree. The day came when he was released and he was reformed and a changed man. Since returning to life outside of bars he along with his fellow inmates have a show podcast. SUCCESS AFTER LOCKDOWN. Website: www.successafterlockdown.com YouTube: https://youtu.be/qjbzFit0wWQ?si=7Gd8yY1uEcqhAwWT YouTube: https://youtu.be/vXvFFiVyBZo?si=u-Uj56ox-5GBYL1v Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericbenson355?igsh=dXFuNDRpMml3aXJn LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-benson-0a3661263 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-benson-0a3661263 AllMyLinks: https://allmylinks.com/successafterlockdown Email: successafterlockdown@gmail.com Father Tries to Raise His Son from Prison | Mashable Docs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9XSLHddcdY #successafterlockdown #ericbenson
Dwyane Graham - A Life Transformed
"When we learn from experience, the scars of sin can lead us to restoration and a renewed intimacy with God." Charles Stanley Dwayne Graham is my special guest on this episode of The Unexpected Detour. Dwayne is a husband, father, Reverend, author, coach and motivational speaker. He journey began in a home where both parents when visible and active in he and his siblings’ lives. Life was turned upside down when his father transitioned. As he saw his mom struggling to take care of four children, he had to do something to help. At the age of fifteen he sought the street to make easy money. As with all seeking to street for fast money his time ended when he was caught selling drugs to an undercover police officer. Under, The Rockefeller Law in New York he was given a sentence of 5 to life in prison. He used that time to obtain his GED. While in prison this was his first encounter with GOD. That one encounter would be the beginning of his journey with God. I invite you sit back and enjoy Rev Dwayne Grahams’ detour. Here is a list of his following books: When GOD Becomes Enough – Dwayne Graham Don’t Drop Out on You – Dwayne Graham and Whitney Smith Meeting Your Authentic You – Dwayne Graham and Whitney Smith Gospel Culture Center Website: Gospel Cultural Center | Tarrytown | New York Contact information: D.grahambooking@gmail.com #dwaynegraham #lifetransformed #pastorD #author #God #reformed
Andrea C- Educator and Businesswoman
I had the pleasure of interviewing Andrea C. I have known Andrea from a young age from her grandma who was a good friend of mine.
Andrea is a wife, a mother of two awesome children along with her fur baby, Seven.
I invited her to share her story as a teacher and businesswoman.
She never ceased to teach others who are willing to be "COACHABLE".
She and I were both in an MLM as time went by and she saw the bigger picture. She took the knowledge from the MLM and along with her husband G it was time to have our own business.
That is exactly what transpired
She and her husband have a delivery service called CO Delivers. She has a clothing line with women's attire. They also have Airbnb. Keep your eyes open and watch her grow.
Her contact information is:
Email: C7assists@gmail.com
Apparel: www.BurgundyC7.shop
Octavia SoulSista Cohen -Advocate and Artist"
Octavia Cohen Founder/
Lead Designer Copper Cohens
Shade of Blue: Alopecia Awareness
Octavia SoulSista Cohen is an Alopecia Advocate who I met on Facebook. Not only is she an advocate for alopecia she's a jewelry designer, a writer and model.
My first encounter with her I remember was during the time she created a calendar for Alopecia Awareness month and she asked me to send her a picture of myself in blue. To my surprise I made the cut and my picture was in the calendar. Thank you OctaviaThen I found out she made jewelry. All her accessories are handmade and painted. I guarantee you have a piece that no one has even seen before. They are unique like Octavia.
Octavia stated that as a young child she enjoyed writing poems and has written several books that can be found on Amazon.
What I loved about her is her drive to have a passion that's not work but enjoyable.
She is passion driven and I celebrate her this Black History Month.
Website Shades of Blue
www.shadesofblueaa.comemail: shadesofblueaa@gmail.com
Website Copper Cohenswww.coppercohens.com
Steven Lewis From Corporate to Entrepreneur
Instagram: popthecreativeWebsite: www.popthecreative.comProduction studio:The Kre8tive LoungeWebsite: www.thekre8tiveLounge.com
#stevenlewis #pop #iampop #popthecreative #contentcreator
#theKre8tivelounge
Karis Meier- With God All Things Are Possible
Karis Meier is the author of Suffering Redeemed Walking with Jesus.
Karis is a loving wife, mother of four amazing children ranging from ages from 3-13. This is her story of how she contracted a parasite, was unable to have children but God stepped and change it all around in HIS.
If you have ever been at a place and ask GOD "Why ME?"
Although Karis may still ask the question "WHY ME?" she never wavered when it came to her trust in "GOD."
The book is in the link below Suffering Redeemed – Walking with Jesus through Suffering (karismeier.com)
Follow her on Facebook
Karis Meier
Follow her on IG IG@authorkarismeier
But GOD- Angie Denise Jesse
Angie Denise Jesse and I have men friends for over twenty years. Shortly after I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I received a message from Angie to contact her. After contacting her she informed me that she was also diagnosed with this illness.
It wasn't until tonight the I learned the full extent of her journey. I invite you to listen to how she dealt with her journey. . It's her relationship with GOD that has kept her. AS she said," If you don't know HIM you need to!"
The Study of Crystals with Somer Thomas -Part 1
Tonight's guest Somer Thomas is not just an RN but is licensed to talk about crystals. She is the owner of Divinity Moon.
After attending Somer's live this past Saturday I was truly intrigued as she explained how crystals are helpful mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Her study of crystals is NOT to replace God so please listen carefully.
IG: Divinitymoon2.0
TikTok: Divinitymoon2.0
Visit: www.divinitymoon.com
#SomerThomas
#DivinityMoon
#Crystals
The Process
While reading an article I stumbled across the word Toxic Positivity. My curiosity got a hold of me and as I looked up the definition I saw me in the description.
"Toxic positivity happens when people believe that negative thoughts about anything should be avoided."
The book I was referring to is When God Becomes Enough" by Dwayne Graham
This is a 40 day devotional that will help you find peace within. When God Becomes Enough: Devotional messages designed to ... https://g.co/kgs/cZxKpy
My Body Your Body Transparency
Thank you to all those who have known my past and I am now set FREE
The Lie Told Around the World
The question we all want to know is WHY. The hoax that you did has made you the joke. I hope she stops hiding behind her attorney and makes her apology PUBLIC. I want an apology from her.
"One can be absolutely truthful and sincere even though admittedly the most outrageous liar. Fiction and invention are of the very fabric of life." Henry Miller
Nicole Lane And Her Detour
Nicole Lane has faced many detours in her life but what I admire about her is she never gave up. Listen to her journey with Chiara how she dealt with it and her daily struggle with the many challenges she faces daily. The point of this show was to let others know that you can do anything you put your mind to even when you are faced with "THE UNEXPECTED DETOUR."
She has a desert book, a custom-made jewelry collection and podcast.
Please she the links below regarding her business.
The Recipe Book
Precious Desserts
author Nicole Lane
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Nicole-... (https://www.amazon.com/stores/Nicole-...)
Sunflower Boutique Collections
Custom Made Jewelry created by Nicole Lane
https://www.facebook.com/sunflowerbou...
Black Girl Joy llc with Nicole Celine
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Ocl...
Why I Talk about Breast Cancer?
I don't want anyone to think I have abandoned the reason why I began my Podcast because I didn't. At times when I tell my story painful and depressing memories I chose the forget resurface. I can't bring awareness to Breast Cancer it I hide all aspects of my journey. I have learned to be transparent about MYSELF.
It's Time
Torment and Torture
We’re not discussing this but theirs is NO race card to play in this beating. The five officers who are all BLACK just gave people something to talk about when it comes to black-on-black shootings and beatings. DAMN SHAME.
Where are the Activists now who show up for everything else? They better show up for Tyre Nicholas ‘family. PERIOD
Where’s The Black Lives Matter People???????
The “Scorpion” police squad stands for Street Crimes Operation to Restore Peace in Our Neighborhood. These members of the squad did nothing to restore peace but cause the death of Tyre Nichols. On January 7th,2023 @10:33 the camera on the pole begins to capture footage of the l on Castlegate Lane. For thirty-one minutes and five seconds you view the beating the kicking, hitting by the officer's baton. While viewing the video I noticed some other officers arrived and they didn’t seem to care about the incident. What I did notice was one officer who I am sure wasn’t part of the SCORPION squad looking around the ground with his flashlight as though he were looking for something. After the torture eight officers are now on the scene. If they were calling for backup the crime would have already taken place. About 10:43 the paramedics arrive and appear to be just as heartless as the officers who tortured Tyre. The torture that Tyre sustained was heartbreaking but to watch the video as he lay on the ground, and NO one gave a Damn. They gazed upon him as though he were a specimen. Tyre’s beating was a reminder of the torture of the runaway slaves who were tortured by their master and killed. At 11: 03 Tyre was placed in the ambulance by the paramedics. So, everyone stood about talking and looking without any regard to Tyre Nicholas Life. Three days after the torture he passed.
I will say the police chief Cerelyn “CJ” Davis acted expeditiously handling the investigation. She viewed the video before releasing it to the public. The five officers were relieved from their duties, arrested, and charged with second degree murder. All five need to spend the remainder It their lives under the jail.
Nothing will bring back Tyre Nicholas, but it will bring awareness to stop saying police brutality has a color. Brutality has no color because it affects all races. Defunding the police is not a solution what may work is weekly evaluation mental and emotional stability of the police officers. Police brutality is just one states problem but it’s the nation’s problem. All police chiefs in the nation need to come together and produce a system to improve the police departments. I pray that it will work because it's time to stop living in a world where violence is the new normal that we have become desensitized to violence.
My prayers go out to the family of TYRE NICHOLAS. I pray that God will watch over and protect our children whether they are young or old because we are all somebody's child or children.
Peace and Blessings
She and The Mirror
My infatuation with a mirror was something that would aways capture my attention. This was not just any mirror but one that hung on the wall in my mother's bedroom. Daily I would look in the mirror from a young child until my adulthood. When I began to wear makeup, I would do that in the bathroom mirror. One would have thought I would check my makeup in the wall mirror since it was almost the size of the wall. I remember my mother telling me that I was the vainest person she ever knew. Wow to her my say one would have thought my feelings would have been hurt not me, why should I let those words bother me. What was I really looking at in that mirror? My Hair
It's Stage 2B
If you would to be a guest on my podcast email me at theunexpecetddetour@gmail.com
Only You Can Tell Your Own Story
Bill C Potts Author of Up For The Fight
Bill C Potts Interview
Today’s guest is Bill C Potts, a husband to Kim and three now adult children who have traveled with him on his journey along with his loving fur baby Pippa. He’s an IRONMAN triathlete, author, motivational speaker, creative business leader and five-time cancer survivor who is humble and transparent about his journey with thyroid cancer lymphoma three times and prostate cancer.
How many of you have been a journey and when you think that life has knocked you down God reaches down and tells you that "Your Work Is NOT Done." While Bill was going through his journey, he was encouraged to write a book while enduring treatment. The book is “Up for The Fight” How to Advocate for Yourself as You Battle Cancer. The book will be available in the month of September which is Blood Cancer Awareness Month, Prostate Awareness Month and Thyroid Awareness Month. I recommend this book for all cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers. You will find encouragement within the pages of this book and realize you are not alone and can fight your battle and survive.
Book — Bill C. Potts Author: Up for the Fight (billcpotts.com)
CONTACT — Bill C. Potts Author: Up for the Fight (billcpotts.com)
IG billcpotts93
She Reclaimed Her POWER.
1.possession of control, authority, or influence over others.
2.the ability to act or produce an effect It's in your power to change things
It's been two months since I have Podcasted or blogged, I began reflecting on the word POWER.
Throughout those two months I noticed that I began to surround my personal space with toxic people that I had given access to my power without realizing the toxic energy they were bringing with them toxicity that affected me in such a way that I no longer focused on my passion but took up residency in their space of emptiness and nothing that was not worth my energy.
My time off was wasted on those toxic people who were more concerned about themselves and didn’t care about my passion. As I watched the selfishness of others it was then I realized that I had given others access to my power and they were renting space in my head. Two months of this was more than I could endure, and it was time to take back my power.
After a two-month hiatus and clearing out the toxic energy I have awakened and reclaimed my POWER. I am back with more passion to continue my podcasts and blogging not just bringing awareness to Breast Cancer but the other detours that come with LIFE.
The Most Powerful Weapon
Words can either heal us or break us.
We use them to build one another up or tear each other down.
The words that we so easily use roll off the tongue attacking from all angles.
They fly here and there, never caring who they will hit and how they'll make a person feel.
We use words to get the things we want in life. We use the tongue to destroy our children's self-esteem. We can speak words that can destroy a person leaving them to feel useless and unwanted. We say things out of anger because the triggers have caused us to lose self-control.
We have all been in that space where our words are used in the most thoughtless ways. Words that can never be retracted because once said they are spoken the damage has been done.
That tongue is the culprit behind those hurtful or kind words. Before you spoke the thought was already in your mind. Your tongue’s delivery is like a sword that can destroy or soothe a person’s spirit.
James 3:5-6 It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. MSG Bible
I have been there occasionally and would ask God for directions as I prepare my comeback. That was my process, I would rehearse as though I was giving a stage performance. I had to make sure that my words were articulated and understood because there was no room for error. At least that’s what I thought, the joke was on me. Those thoughts were there, and my tongue let loose and the things that came out could not be retrieved. No more dress rehearsals from now on I will address situations as they occur and not get caught up my feelings.
Hurt people hurt people and we live in a world where caring is no longer a priory but going out of one’s way to hurt one another with the tongue is and always be the world. We have all harmed so many people, even ourselves, with the words we have spoken and now is the time to STOP. If you don’t think it, you won’t say it.
"Talk with your mind before you talk with your tongue.” Anonymous
Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone
I am your host Frances Hammond who has decided to step out of her comfort zone. Yes, could you believe that I was shy as a little girl who carried that shyness into her adult life. So here I am so you can put a face behind the voice and give a brief summary about my cancer journey and other journeys of have Unexpectedly travelled on. I invite you to be a guest on The Unexpected Detour, where in Life detours are INEVITABLE. Contact me at theunexpeceteddetour17@gmail.com.
Is Obedience Better Than Sacrifice?
“Whatever truth we feel compelled to withhold, no matter how unthinkable it is to imagine ourselves telling it, not to is a way of spiritually holding our breath. You can only do it for so long.”Mark Nepo
Since my healing began, I returned to a place where I found peace. The place where I could have my private conversations with the One who knew me best. He never left me, but I left Him. At times I would hear His voice whispering in my ear not to do something but out of hurt and anger I became the disobedient child. Funny how He spoke so clearly to me on consistently, and I chose to do things MY WAY.
In 1 Samuel 15:22 there is a verse which reads "Obedience is better than sacrifice." I took the words lightly and never gave the words a second thought. I figured that God is a forgiving God so if prayed He would forgive me. As I would learn later in my life every wrong decision that I would make came with consequences. I lived the life I wanted doing what I wanted never knowing those words would come back to bite me and bite me HARD. My choices left me an emotional hot mess. Dating the wrong men was truly an emotional roller coaster ride that I decided to go on not realizing the effects of the toxic situationships.
“Anything or anyone that asks you to be other than yourself is not holy, but is trying only to fill its own need.”Mark Nepo
I married a man because I was tired of living with my mother, and he was tired of living with his family. So, after six months of dating, we got married and what a big mistake. He professed to know God and love Him but after marriage this was all a lie. He wanted nothing to do with God or church. A marriage doomed to fail because it was not God's will nor did I receive the blessings from my family. This guy would become my worst nightmare when the police were called due to domestic violence. The last altercation I had enough became and I had to fight for my life. Thank God for the neighbors who lived on my floor because they got me off him and he was asked to leave by my mom.
Five years passed, and I met a well-dressed man who happened to work in the same building my office was in. The warning signs were but I ignored the signs and continued to date him. Then one day I remember my coworker informed me that he was married. After hearing that I did ask him, he said no I believed the lie and continued the situationship. He said that my coworker was lying he was not married but did have a roommate who had children. Although I was apprehensive, I continued seeing him. I remember coming home and my mother's exact words were “If this guy hasn't given you a phone number introduced you his family and his children, he's either married or living with someone." She was right! I continued with the situationship for seven years only to uncover the truth. I recall asking him why did you lie to me all those years? Why didn’t you just tell me the truth and let me decide if I want to be in a situationship with you? You could hear a pin drop and I knew it was time to go. I prayed for God to end this situationship, and he gave me the strength to say goodbye without any regrets.
“We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time.” Mark Nepo
Healing from Within
I don't know about you, but I have indeed experienced my share of difficulties. Deciding to be transparent about myself is liberating. Don't judge me because many will not know the feeling of being liberated from your past discretion. Opening to be vulnerable is something that has caused me heartache and heartbreak. We repress so much that we have built a wall so deep thick and high to cover up the hurt.
Sixty-five years around the sun I have become skeptical when it comes to dating. Damn was there something wrong with me that each man I dated had issues that I didn't realize until the situationship was over. Was I that blinded by the fact that having a BOYFRIEND was a good thing? I was far from blind and knew the warning signs and leaped right into these situations thinking I could make a difference in their life. Not realizing how those SITUATIONSHIPS would affect my life my mindset and instead of moving forward I sunk deeper and deeper into bull shit. The men I attracted were handsome well-dressed educated men who knew the right words to pull me into their web of deceit. Then the regular guy who perpetrated a fraud by promising to give me the world and never giving but always looking to receive. I sat around having a pity party blaming myself until I analyzed what each man had in common deep unresolved issues.
I came from a matriarch family who showed me love but when it came to the men in my family, I never saw them show affection to their wives. So, what examples did I have in my life when it comes. My ideas of love were the words I heard in love songs and those juicy love stories. Those were the words I wanted to hear from a man. As life would be I was living in a world of fantasy only to wake and see life is not that way.
I revisited my past relationship with my father and uncovered so much about my father and how that shaped my interaction with men. A father who refused to accept me as his child because of my name. A father who I saw briefly at my family members funeral still didn't acknowledge me. A father whom I met again at the age of twenty-one at another family tragedy. The father who had multiple children from multiple women. I realized that meeting him was a big disappointment. Not only was he an alcoholic he was a womanizer' from there I vowed to NEVER date or marry a man like him. I wanted a man who knew how to give and receive love. Surprise, surprise that would not be the case unfortunately I would get involved with men who possesses the same characteristics as the father.
It took me a while to figure out what was going on in my world of dating therefore it was time to seek professional help. I can honestly say I have stopped blaming myself. I have addressed the unresolved issues and I am on the road to HEALING FROM WITHIN.
Just A Talk
Triggers
"Be sure you positively identify your target before you pull the trigger. "Tom Flynn On Sunday March 27,2022 we witnessed The Slap that Shocked the WORLD. If you missed it by now you have seen Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the 94th Oscars. We all looked on in shock, I am sure we all wondered what was going through Will Smith's mind to make him do such a thing on national television and in the presence of his peers. While watching I noticed that Will laughed at Chris's joke but then Jada gives him the side eye. That's when he took the opportunity to get out of his seat to walk up on stage and slap Chris. As Chris Rock says, "OH wow Will Smith just slapped the shit out of me!" I thought it was part of the show until the explicit words spewed from Will's mouth. "Keep my wife's name out of your f*cking mouth. I am sure, like most of you were surprised at Will Smith. In my opinion the slap stemmed from past hurts. To witness your mom being abused by your father left a deep hurt within Will's mind. Then their marriage is public for all the world to see and no matter how much it hurts due to infidelity he stayed. Your wife loves a deceased Rapper, and you know about it. Your wife behaving badly with your son's friend and having sex because her husband no longer satisfied her. Your wife tells the world about their OPEN MARRIAGE. Here's Will loving a woman who in my opinion doesn't know how to love him back the same way. What we witnessed was exactly what society sees in the Black Communities Black on Black crime. But we have the nerve to put all the blame on the police killing us when we are out here killing our own people. We witnessed a comedian getting assaulted which is an open door for other comedians to be assaulted because they are offended by the jokes, and it sets off a trigger. Many conversations have taken place about THE SLAP. This was written the day after, but I preferred to wait just to hear from others. Many that I have spoken to felt that Will Smith was wrong. If he was offended by the joke, I felt he should have waited to address Chris Rock backstage. The triggers hid deep within and on that night, Will Smith finally found someone to take out his frustrations on. I pray that he seeks physiological help to deal with and heal from his past hurts. Chris Rock I commend him for holding his composure. We can look and reflect on The Slap Heard Around the World and when things trigger us to think back to that night walk away hold your head high leave it where you meet it. "We all have a trigger built into our head... Not aware of its existence whatsoever. But a single word can pull the trigger. Forcing us to feel numb, allowing the shadows to sip through the cracks in our build up shell." Kate O'Grady
Take A Page Out of History
I was browsing thru Amazon Prime, and I came across a documentary titled "Uncle Tom.". My first thought was why would anyone make a documentary with a title about Black people who kiss ass? My reluctant self said No Way my inquisitive self said Why Not. While viewing the documentary and when I saw the featured individuals in my mind, I said it figures. Yes, the African Americans that I was familiar with included Candace Owens, the late Herman Cain and Larry Elder. First thought was it figures because they were the epitome of the phrase Uncle Tom in my eyes.
After watching the documentary, I learned those I despised were in fact far removed from what my ignorance considered "Uncle Tom's". Those individuals didn't come from a place of wealth and riches but didn't depend on the system to make the best of life. They used all resources available to get ahead in life. I was convicted because my thought process was wrong about these people. How did I fall into using such a derogatory way of thinking about successful African Americans? Too much news and not each reading too much believing in those who say they were for us but have done nothing to change the trajectory but just TALK.
I watched the documentary three times to soak up the information like a sponge, I dissected and researched the information like a mad scientist. I walked away more knowledgeable about choosing a political party, how African Americans went from being Republicans to Democrats. The inception of the welfare system. Learning about economists Thomas Sowell and Walter Williams. How successful African Americans were as entrepreneurs. I realized that a lot of things African Americans should have known about was due to a lack not wanting to know more and the desire to explore and place blame their shortcomings on other races. The importance of getting ahead in life requires the determination to want more and expand our thinking by using all resources available to us.
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER and that’s where we will uncover the hidden stories about African American history and how we shaped America then maybe we will do BETTER.
It's The New Generation
When I was a child cartoons were something I would look forward to every Saturday morning. Today the new generation has no idea who characters like Tom and Jerry, Popeye the Sailor, Betty Bop, Top Cat, Magilla Gorilla, The Flintstones, The Jetsons and of course Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Road Runner, and Willy Coyote. After completing my chores, I went outside and played with my friends. We would jump rope, roller skate, bike ride, hopscotch, Hide and Seek, Red Light Green, stick ball, Handball, Jack’s so many games I can't name them all. What I can say is that they were great memories.
On the days when the weather was bad and in the winter months it was the board games. I didn't always need friends to play with because my mother was always willing to play with me. I remember playing Scrabble with my mom, it helped me to learn unfamiliar words and build a better vocabulary. Then we played Monopoly where I was always losing because I was too cheap to buy property. I realized later that owning property was how the rich lived. You pay their mortgage when you land on the other players’ property and don’t let them build houses and hotels because you will be paying double and triple.
I can honestly say as an only child l learned to play by myself with my imaginary friend. I don't know if that's an only child thing, but it stimulates the child's brain to use their creativity. The new generation of parents today no longer interact with other children but prefer to hand them a tablet and phone and that's their friends. It's interesting to see how impressed the parents are when they see how well their children can use technology but forget what they taught them. Has technology and social media become the new way to create social skills? Crazy they and are they interacting with other children (if they are really children) and playing games with complete strangers.
First why do parents think it's acceptable to have children constantly using technology daily? Secondly, what is the continuous usage doing to children and adolescents physically, mentally, and socially? I wonder what effect it has on their eyes. I use a computer daily and from daily use my eyesight has changed to where I now wear progressive glasses. Mentally I personally can get so absorbed as to what I read online the I too can become disconnected with what is false and what's not. Every now and again I must pause and take time to regroup, unwind and read a book. By taking breaks I can work on my podcast and blogs and be creative. As an adult my social skills diminished even when I was out with friends and family because my curiosity had me consumed with the world of social media, now that's phatic. If this is what I was dealing with just imagine the children and adolescents.
Social detachment from reality may be a contributing factor to the rise in mental health issues. It's time that we all took a break from social media and went back to a time when we used our minds to be creative. Use our time to rebuild our social skills and work on mental health issues.
For the parents who think about giving their children technology because it will keep them quiet and occupied that’s a danger. As your children retreat to the rooms for solitude do you know what's going on behind the closed doors? You know the term cut the cord well is time to cut the technology. What you have read is my opinion about technology from seeing today’s youth and their social skills.
The Missing Pieces
Let Me Reintroduce Myself
Separation Anxiety
“Separation anxiety is a universal phenomenon; indeed, it is such an intimate and familiar emotion that we almost have to make a special effort to realize that it is a concern which accompanies every instant of our everyday lives.” – Jean-Michel Quinodoz
Separation Anxiety is a form of mental health issues. Whether we want to accept it or not we all have or will deal with separation anxiety sometime in our life. The question is how will we manage it? If we pay close attention to our own behavioral patterns, you’ll see that you have experienced separation anxiety. A while back I recall listening to a women explain why she would go from one relationship to the next. She stated that she didn’t like solitude and would always have a new boyfriend. As soon as one relationship ended, she would fill that empty space with a new boyfriend. I thought about men and that made sense why they are always on the prowl. They deal with this issue just like women and had a need to fill the empty void. It takes a lot to learn to live with ourselves or love ourselves , instead we settle for what we assume what makes us happy but, it’s just a disguise. Having experienced separation anxiety I found the struggle was real. I struggled emotionally, mentally, financially and spiritually before the realization hit me that I was in denial. I had to take a good look in the mirror and realize I am affirmed by God and loved by many but most importantly loving me came first. Having weathered the storm and came out on top, I encourage you to do the same. No one will ever love you unless you learn to love yourself FIRST. For you cannot receive what you cannot give.
New Year 2022 with S.O.S (same old shit)
Welcome to The Unexpected Detour
Where Detours in Life are Inevitable
I am your Host Frances Hammond
Happy New Year to all my listeners and sponsors.
I have been on many Unexpected DETOURS in my life but now I share one with everyone. COVID 19,the Delta and Omicron variant is now a detour that either have or may encounter. Many roadblocks have kept us from living a normal and productive life. Question is will we ever experience normal living ?
What The Heck?
A mayor who feels he can impose unnecessary mandates which makes me question how much jurisdiction he has over NYC none the less private business.
We have been forced to get a vaccine against our own free will, not respecting one's religion or medical history. The scare tactic they use ,take the vaccine or you can get Coivd and die. Really? So this is how we get people to do what we want by installing fear in them.
Sounds like how a parent instills fear into their children.
Seriously are we being used for the sole purpose as a mad scientist experiment? An experiment to see how many people will take this vaccine and we can see how it affects every individual. Or is the human race being annihilated to reduce the population? Or have we become a society that no longer gives a damn ?
Funding Where Does the Money Really GO
Its The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Shock and Numb
Time To Take Care of YOU
As we head into November we will cover Hurt and Healing.
The Tell Tale Signs That Cause Concern
It's Breast Cancer Month
Conversation with Rachel Massey Coles
Dreams Deferred is Revised
The Pity Party 🎉
Parents It Takes a Village
Being a parent never came with a manual. We learn from trial and error. What worked for us may still work but nowadays it seems like some parents don't care. Parents we have tom work on our parenting skills in order to raise our children to be responsible adults