Fundamentally Human

As we get older, we lose opportunities to connect with others the way we did while we were in school. We no longer get to see the same people daily and consistently. We don't have the chance to really get to know them.

Jamie and I talk about how you can build a supportive environment around you and that starts with connecting with your friends.

Our brain health plays a significant role in our mental health and it's not always obvious from the outside looking in. The brain, or the center of our thoughts, controls our emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. When we consider lifestyle factors like stress, diet, sleep, and our social relationships, all of that combined can impact our mental health as well.

Trauma can impact us in ways that might surprise us. Physically, our bodies might have gone through an experience that caused us pain or an injury. Psychologically, we may have been exposed to toxic or harmful behaviour that has impacted us negatively.

An approach that many therapists take is the biopsychosocial approach, which refers to how someone’s biological, psychological, and social factors have contributed to who they are as a person.

To better understand the biological component, I’ve enlisted the help of Dr. Jenny King, to explain to us how trauma impacts our brain and nervous systems.

Check out Dr. Jenny King here:

How many times have you said that you're "not motivated" and it's led you to sit back and not get anything done? It's something that we've all experienced throughout our lives and we eventually let it become an excuse. Kamini and I explore why we let motivation be the catalyst for us to get things done and how we can change this mindset to allow for growth instead.

Connect with Kamini here:

I often hear “I don’t have the motivation to do it” or “I know I have to do it but I don’t want to.” This comes up with exercise, food, cleaning, and most of the day-to-day things that we need to do. We generally have an idea of what healthy eating is but the hard part is HOW we can do it. 

I’ve enlisted the help of Chanel Huynh, a health elevation coach and holistic nutritionist, to help us fill in some of the blanks on why we have a hard time eating healthy and what we can do about it.

The theme of this episode is GROWTH. As I'm in the last year and a half of my 20s, I think back to the past (almost) decade and see how I've changed as a person. For me, learning from others' experiences is one of the best ways to learn in general. Sure, I can easily Google tips and lists of ways I can improve my quality of life or read self-help books, but it's not the same as going through someone's journey and being able to go through those ups and downs. For today's sit-down chitchat, I'm joined by Cassandre Quan, who just entered her mid-20s and share her experiences going through her 20s during COVID and how she's changed so far, too.

Hi everyone, I wanted to try something different for this week's release. It's easy for us to feel rushed in our busy days but taking a moment to set ourselves up with an intention can be empowering. Join me in the next five minutes to help get your day started.

Divorce and breakups can be messy, tricky, and painful to navigate, especially when you factor in the negative stigma, shame, and guilt, that accompanies the end of a relationship. I reached out to Cody to chat about his experiences with divorce and how it was his greatest gift. Divorce allowed him to dive deep and reflect on what it means to communicate in a healthy way with his partner.

Connect with Cody:

Rivalry, or competing for the same objective or superiority in the same field, happens at all ages and in different circumstances. It's also a response to something else we're experiencing. Maybe we're envious of someone's success or we're projecting the weight of the pressure we're feeling from high standards and expectations. In today's episode, Dr. Amber Tichenor and I explore female rivalry behaviours and ways we can empower each other instead.

I also realized that I struggle with saying "rivalry" - sea anemone, anyone?

Connect with Dr. Amber Tichenor below:

If you were to ask me about the most common theme that comes up in therapy, the answer is identity. No matter what challenge you’re facing or what you’re working towards, your identity is constantly evolving and changing through each experience. A large part of our identities revolves around gender and sexuality and a big reason is that we can’t necessarily fight against the biology of our bodies - we are each born in a certain way and from there, each of our paths looks wildly different. Carmelle and I dive into how we learned about gender growing up and how that has evolved over the years.

Resources to explore gender curiosities:

We're changing things up in this episode - instead of talking about a specific mental health topic,  I'm sharing my rollercoaster experience of my first triathlon. It was one of the hardest conditions I've ever done a race in - it was freezing rain, snowing briefly, windy, and low temperatures. 

The day didn't end the way I intended but I learned a lot about being gentle with myself and prioritizing my health first. 

“The functional capabilities of the mature brain develop throughout life, but the vast majority of critical structural and functional organization takes place in childhood.” - Dr. Bruce Perry (specialist in childhood trauma, co-author of What Happened to You)

So, what can we do about this? Although we're no longer children, it doesn't mean that you can’t reflect on your experiences growing up and shape how you want your present and future to look. In today's episode, Nicolette and I talk about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, go through example clients, touch on attachment theory, and how our childhoods have impacted and influenced us today.

Getting support isn't as simple as contacting a practitioner or friend. Sometimes it can feel like a burden, other times it can feel overwhelming to look up what services you can access. In today's episode, David and I talk about the differences between coaching and therapy and we go through a sample client to help paint the picture better.

Stigma plays a significant role in creating barriers to talking about and caring for mental health. While I have a number of episodes that talk about how culture can impact how we think about mental health, I’m switching gears to talk about men’s mental health. Today, I'm joined by Chris Campassi, a therapist based in Colorado, to explore the stigma of mental health support and vulnerability for men. Please see below for some statistics about mental health challenges that men face:

• Mental Health America reports 6 million men are affected by depression in the United States every year whereas 3 million women are affected by depression
• The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that the annual number of men dying due to alcohol-related causes is 62,00 compared to 26,00 women
• Research indicates that men have a harder time establishing social connections, which can lead to depressive symptoms and substance misuse

Also, apologies for the change in quality as my headset mic was picked up instead of my regular podcast mic!

Burnout, or the state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion, is typically caused by excessive or prolonged stress. This could look like juggling numerous tasks at work without adequate support, caring for family and friends outside of your threshold and capacity, or having social commitments without allowing yourself to rest and recharge. I'm joined by fellow clinician, Shannon Heers, to explore how you can spot burnout, and the steps you can take to manage it effectively.

Hi everyone, this episode is going to sound a little different from my usual ones. I wanted to share more about my personal life and the struggles I face as a caregiver both professionally and personally. I thought it was important to be transparent, or at least show, that I go through my own set of challenges and just because I work in mental health, it doesn't mean I don't have moments where I lose my marbles either. In this episode, I talk about some struggles and how my I work through them.

Often, transitions can leave us feeling unsettled and sometimes lost. I notice this beginning to happen with clients in their 20s and this feeling of being lost comes and goes for the rest of our lives. Transitions, no matter how big or small, can change our routines and leave us feeling unsettled. This is normal.

Today, I’m joined by Dr. Tara Sanderson, to explore the topic of having a syllabus for our lives and how we can work on managing the anxiety that comes with transitions.

Connect with Dr. Tara Sanderson through the links below:

In this episode, Cordelia Mejin, a counsellor, helps me explore the difference between guilt and regret in the context of grief.

In the face of grief, a number of emotions can come up. Being able to identify if you're feeling guilt or regret is essential because we often mistake regret for guilt, which can be much heavier to take on. When we're feeling guilty, we think that we've done something wrong, and how we talk to ourselves changes accordingly.  Whereas, on the other hand, regret is a feeling of sadness or disappointment over an event, and not necessarily that we've done something wrong. We can find ways to carry regret and work on moving forward.

Everyone is different - this is no doubt about that. Whether it's the way we look, the environment we grew up in, the messages we've been told, and the people we meet along the way, we're all impacted by what we see and hear. In this episode, Daniel explains "Why is Grandma so Weird?" (which is also his newly written book) through a cultural lens and what his journey from China to Switzerland and then to Canada looked like.

A theme that I’ve heard frequently in a number of my sessions with my clients is that they’re feeling like they’re going on autopilot, like they’re watching from the outside in, that they’re bored, and that they don’t know what they’re doing with their lives. When they ask me what they should do when they’re in a rut, the word fulfillment often comes up. In today’s episode, I enlisted the help of Paul Singh to talk about the key to living a meaningful life.

Throughout our 20s, we go through a number of transitions, whether it's attending post-secondary, finding a job, getting married, or experiencing loss...we find ourselves through each change. I'm joined by Kristy and Angie, the co-hosts of the Shit We Don't Tell Mom podcast, about how we've been forming our identities. 

A double standard is “a rule or principle which is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups.” Oftentimes, double standards are applied subconsciously and most people aren’t aware that they are doing this. Cognitive biases and confirmation biases can play a role in forming double standards. I'm joined with Shane Rogers, the co-host of Midnight Facts for Insomniacs, to share our differing perspectives and "what ifs."

Reframing is a way for us to broaden our perspectives, consider an alternative, and extend compassion to others and ourselves. It can be challenging to do at the moment but with practice, it gets easier - even if it's in hindsight. In this episode, I take you through three steps to reframing a situation.

"I don't wanna do anything" comes up from time to time. I don't want to go to the gym, eat healthily, read my book, do my work...I don't want to do anything. I had a break from releasing an episode because I was going through this. I was feeling fatigued, uninspired, unmotivated, and unwilling to do work. This episode gives you some insight into how I work through these ebbs and flows to get back on track and balanced.

I have completed my graduate degree!!! After two years of writing papers, having awkward mock therapy sessions, and then transitioning into actually providing therapy for the past eight months, I'm so excited to be done with school (for now). In this episode, I look back at my reflections after my first semester of school in April 2021. I thought it would be interesting to reflect on those reflections (haha) and see what has changed over the course of two years.

It's fair to be skeptical about something you haven't tried before or something that you don't see results or changes right away. In this episode, Elaine and I share our different perspectives about therapy and we hope to help you decide if it's something that you see as worth it or something you'd like to try. 

Being a new dad (or parent) is already hard enough but when you mix in a pandemic, looking for work, generational gaps, and countless other challenges, it makes it so much harder. Kenald shares about what it's been like to be a new dad and how his son has taught him the importance of play, communication, and most importantly, taking care of yourself.

Check out Kenald here: 

One of my goals with Fundamentally Human is to break down barriers to receive support as well as provide more context for mental health challenges to reduce the negative stigma as much as possible. Jason Hsieh of Lakikid shares his personal experiences with ADHD and bipolar disorder and how he navigates parenthood with a son on the spectrum.

Check out Jason here: 

Have you ever had a fantasy about someone you don't know? Maybe you felt connected to a vlogger, streamer, or celebrity. Repeated exposure to media and online figures can develop into a parasocial relationship, where one can develop illusions of friendship, closeness, and even intimacy. As a full-time streamer, Yoojin has had experiences with parasocial relationships within her community. She shares raw insight on how this has impacted her and how community members can support her and other online personalities.

If you told me that I would be driving again (and owning a car) nine years ago, I would be laughing in disbelief. But...here we are! This episode documents some of the thoughts and feelings after driving again and how I've been doing my own version of self-imposed exposure therapy. It's a monumental moment in my life to be behind a wheel and I'm glad I can share this with you all!

Many of us have probably heard the term "new normal" being used in the last couple of years to describe how the pandemic has shifted our lives. It has changed our expectations and understanding of the world as well as our routines and structure, inadvertently adding even more uncertainties. I explore what "normal" means in this episode to help ground you and develop your empathy muscles even more. Let's put them into practice!

Growing up first-generation Chinese-Canadian was quite confusing for my younger self. Between the strict traditions my parents upheld and navigating the Western world, I was constantly conflicted with my identity. As I got older, I became more aware of what happened to my parents when they were younger and the lessons they learned to shape who they are today. Hollie Ha and I explore these generational gaps in this episode.

My first four months as a psychotherapist intern are almost over and this episode explores the common themes I've heard from clients and a reflection of my work. 

Have you noticed how the fall and wintertime have impacted your mood? Perhaps you've felt dread waking up to darkness to go to work or school and knowing that you'll be leaving for home in the dark, too. In this episode, I explain the psychological and biological behind-the-scenes of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and explore strategies on what you could do to move through the darker months. 

When we think about staying balanced, we might picture a balance beam and trying to stand on our tiptoes but always live in the constant fear of falling or toppling over. In this episode, I share about what I've been up to and how I've been trying to stay balanced through self-regulation, mindfulness, being disciplined, setting boundaries, and listening to your body and mind.

Trauma affects everyone in a different way and often has long-lasting effects that can be visible and invisible. Ovey extends her bravery in this episode by sharing her experience after a car accident and what it means to recover.

Perfectionism is defined as the need to be or appear to be perfect or even to believe that it’s possible to achieve perfection. It’s usually considered or viewed as a positive trait instead of a flaw. Endlessly and tirelessly striving for perfection can be damaging and self-stabotaging. I explore my own journey with perfectionism and how my OCD and anxiety play a role in this.

For many Asian communities and households, mental health was on the bottom of the priority list and is usually surrounded by negative stigma and a sign of weakness. Mari lends his knowledge as a Master of Public Health candidate and we explore our own experiences with how mental health looked like in our families.

How many times have you asked yourself, "Why am I doing this?" KoDoRiN, one of the world's top Marth Melee players, explores his why, how he measures and evaluates his growth, and how he overcomes challenges that comes with performing at high levels.

Trigger warning: This topic may be difficult, intense, and triggering for some individuals. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to reach out to your support system or call a crisis line. Please do what is comfortable and safe for you.

Joanne and I explore her journey with suicide and how it has shaped her into the person today, four years later. She shares her new insights, what support and recovery have looked like for her, and some misconceptions about suicide. 

Crisis Line in the US: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Crisis Line in Canada: 1-833-456-4566

Mood spectrums, mania, clinical episodes, and depression...these are some of the symptoms of bipolar disorder that Julia explores with us during this episode. She shares an experience of a friend with bipolar disorder and combines her own expertise to teach us the different symptoms and treatment options available.

Schizophrenia is a complex mental disorder that impacts how individuals feel, think, and behave. They might even feel like they are losing touch with reality. Newvick Lee provides insight from his experiences as a pharmacist working with schizophrenic patients.

ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, is a lifelong neurological disorder that impacts how individuals focus and control their behaviours. Megan Fass and David Kuang speak about their journey with ADHD, treatment options, and how you can accommodate or support individuals with ADHD.

Anxiety and depression have become more prevalent through the past decade with the increase of social media use and the constant pressure to compare ourselves with others. Ashley Greensmyth, RCC and I dive deep into the different types of anxiety and depression and provide tangible resources you could tap into or share with others. 

Mike Pond, RPN, MSW, and I discuss his lived experience and battle with alcohol use disorder and how it uprooted his life. His story is inspiring, empowering, and provides new perspectives and insights on how we can break the negative stigma surrounding substance use and how to support others.

Resilience is about coping with situations, becoming tougher, and being self-aware to bounce back. It's an elastic band that sometimes gets stretched thin and might be in danger of snapping. It's also something that can get stronger as you actively build it by practicing healthy coping strategies, having a supportive network, and tapping into what your needs are. Enoch and I explore how resilience looks like for him and how he and his family overcome the hardships that are relentlessly thrown their way.

What is therapy? When should someone go to therapy? What's the difference between a therapist, counsellor, and psychologist? Cam Wharram, a Registered Clinical Counsellor, and I dig through some of the most common questions we get about therapy. If you or someone you know might be interested in having some therapy sessions but have some questions or uncertainty surrounding it, we hope to address some of that during this episode.

Do you remember the last time you consciously said something positive to yourself? When you're lying in your bed at night, you're often swimming in negative and critical thoughts compared to positive or neutral ones. Jennifer Lee (RCC, CCC) and I explore negative automatic thoughts and how you can use cognitive reframing to actively work on changing them.