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Get Your SELF Back Podcast

Get Your SELF Back Podcast

By Laura Bytheway
Laura Bytheway is a life coach on a mission to help people dealing with narcissists to get themselves back. When you've been raised by a narcissist or in a long term relationship with one, odds are you have erased yourself to survive the abuse. It's time to get your SELF back. I specialize in helping you rebuild yourself from the inside out. In this podcast you'll learn the five steps I use with all my clients, plus new insights and concepts that will undo the effects of the emotional abuse and set you up for a life you truly want.
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18. How to Stop Trying to be Good Enough
If you've spent decades of TRYING to be good enough and you know that you want to stop but the urge keeps coming up, this episode is for you. You'll walk away with 7 optional takeaways that will help you shift out of the urge to use your energy, time, and effort trying to prove to someone else that you measure up, or to make someone else believe something about you so that you have permission to feel like you are enough. Let's be done with that, so listen here for a few tools that may help.  Email me at laura@bythewaycoaching.com Snag the PDF "5 Things Your Adult Daughter Needs You to Know" https://mailchi.mp/bythewaycoaching.com/5thingsformothers Book your consult here: bit.ly/btwconsultrequest
44:33
May 18, 2022
17. Complicated Mother Grief
For those of us recovering from narcissists, a complicated relationship with our Moms is pretty common. In this episode I share the experience of losing my mother, some lessons I've learned and how it can apply to your complicated relationship with your mother. Trigger warning: suicide and abuse. You're invited to join me on a call where we will implement some concepts discussed in this episode in your situation. On Friday, May 13, 2022 at 12:30pm on Zoom we'll do some basic training on how to uncomplicate your relationship with your mother and then we will dive into live coaching. So do the exercise suggested in the episode and then come to call and bring your questions and get coached! Register for the class here: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0tcuytpj8tHtOZoabAX5cnqBJRWnV3u_Oy For the replay, sign up here: https://mailchi.mp/bythewaycoaching.com/email-list-subscribe Request a consultation for 1:1 coaching: https://bit.ly/btwconsultrequest
43:28
May 11, 2022
16. Constant Fear of Emotion to Confident Allowance: Client Conversation with Debra
Welcome back to another episode! Today I announce The Invincible Mastermind - a six month group coaching program designed to transform you into an emotionally invincible person. We kick off with a retreat in Waco, and spend the next six months working together to deal with everything in the way of becoming who you want to be. To find out more go to https://www.bythewaycoaching.com/invincible-2021. Hurry, applications close Monday night, September 13th, 2021 at 11:59pm! The deadline is to make sure we have the numbers ready for catering and other services at the retreat. If you missed the deadline but still want to be part of The Mastermind, email me at laura@bythewaycoaching.com Today Debra and I talk about her transformation from a person who was terrified all the time of other people's negative emotion. She felt responsible for all of it, and couldn't stand it if someone wasn't perfectly happy. And now, she is totally free and so much more at peace, and we walk you through exactly how she did it and what it looked like.  Bonus: we do a live coaching about an unexpected unveiling of a secret narcissist in her life. You'll get to witness in real time an unrehearsed coaching about Debra's thoughts about this person and how we help her manage "the cringe" among other emotions.  You can join my email list here: https://bit.ly/3thoughtboundaries You can watch The Invincible Mastermind Trainings (Parts 1 and 2) here: https://bit.ly/Invincible2replay Apply for The Invincible Mastermind here: https://tr6mfjapwa5.typeform.com/to/q9Vijvib
01:05:52
September 11, 2021
15. Forgiveness and Magical Boundaries: Client Conversation with Inna
I've been gone the last few months as I've been grieving and putting myself back together after my Mom recently passed away. I talk about this before we dive into a conversation I recorded a few months ago. Inna, a current client, is dominating in her life. We talk about all the things she has overcome through our work together. More client conversations and interviews coming up as I slowly get back into the swing of things. Thanks for your patience and I hope you get some questions answered today.
47:49
June 14, 2021
14. Meaningless to Gangbusters: Client Conversation with Bryan Brooks
Meet another one of my amazing clients, Bryan Brooks. He's an IT expert, entrepreneur, and single dad. He spent several years married to a narcissist, and even years after divorce, his life, his work, and his will to live suffered. We talk about what it was like getting coached and how his life did a complete 180 as we worked together.  Interested in hiring Bryan for your IT needs: www.brooksitservices.com
35:22
March 20, 2021
13. Healed Anxiety: Client Conversation with Dr. Bethany Pellow
This episode is a little different. Today we will be talking with a real-life client of mine, Dr. Bethany Pellow. We worked together to heal her anxiety, her need to caretake others' emotions and how all of that affected her success in her business. It's a fun, casual conversation where we touch on what it's like to be coached by me, how the coaching process helped her heal, and what she recommends to those listening. Enjoy! You can contact Dr. Bethany at drbethanypellow@gmail.com Join my email list here: https://mailchi.mp/bythewaycoaching.com/get-access-to-trainings Book a consult with me by emailing me directly at laura@bythewaycoaching.com
38:37
March 05, 2021
12. The Importance of Space
Your space is sacred. There are several types of space that you experience. And they are all worthy of protection and respect. This episode is a new way of looking at boundaries and why it’s so important to build this important skill set. If you’ve already joined Boundary Mastery, this episode is required listening. If you haven’t joined Boundary Mastery yet, what are you waiting for? Let’s get to work so you never have to worry about how to protect your space. Join here: https://www.bythewaycoaching.com/boundary-mastery Email list: https://mailchi.mp/bythewaycoaching.com/get-access-to-trainings
42:00
February 13, 2021
11. Enoughness
Want to know what is at the bottom of all the people-pleasing you do? Want to understand the deep pain you feel that you're constantly running away from? Enoughness is the answer. Recovering from Narcissists means that we need to re-learn how enough we really are, simply because we exist. Listen in for why we don't believe we are enough and how to learn that we are. 
43:03
February 01, 2021
10. Navigate the Holidays with Narcissists
It's that time of year! And dealing with narcs on holidays is no less stressful, in fact if you have narcissists in your family the holidays can be pretty tricky. Today we talk about what makes holidays so challenging, how to make decisions about how you will spend the holidays, and most importantly, how to manage yourself in the process. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season 2020! Enjoy!
34:11
November 26, 2020
9. When Gratitude is Hard
It's the time of year that we traditionally pay more attention to being grateful. But when you're recovering from narcissists gratitude doesn't feel so simple or healing. This is because gratitude has been weaponized against you in various ways. In this episode we dive into all the reasons why you can't access gratitude and what to do about it. 
45:49
November 24, 2020
8. How to Stop Beating Yourself Up
This one tackles a specific action those of us recovering from narcissists tend to do: beating ourselves up. If you have a LOT of negative self-talk, this episode is for you. There’s a legitimate reason why you do this and there’s a way to stop. Forever. Listen to get the simple  4 step method I use and my clients use to break this habit for good. Apply these steps and watch your life change, it’s going to be amazing! Enjoy!
34:11
November 12, 2020
7. Am I a Narcissist?
Have you ever asked yourself this question? Maybe you've listened to a few episodes or read some of my posts and recognized yourself in the actions of the narcissist and thought "wait a second, I do that! Am I the narc?" This question as come up a lot for my clients and this episode answers it (spoiler alert: the answer is NO). We talk about why you are definitely not a narcissist AND we discuss what ELSE is the cause of some of your narcissist tendencies that you might be recognizing. Introducing: The Narc-Brain.  Learn more about The Narc-Brain in the 3-Day Training we did in October 2020. Get on the email list to get access to these videos as mentioned in the episode.  https://mailchi.mp/bythewaycoaching.com/get-access-to-trainings Check out my instagram page for more insights: https://www.instagram.com/laurabythewaycoaching/
31:21
October 29, 2020
6. Trauma Bonding
In this episode we dive into what Trauma Bonding means, if you're experiencing it, and the first steps of how to get out and heal. Trauma bonding is a powerful pull that many in narcissist relationships feel that prevents them from setting boundaries or even leaving when they want to. Learn the signs, the emotions, and how to start changing your brain so you can heal and starting building the life you actually want. Join the 3-Day Training: Break Free from Narcissism on October 20, 21, and 22 all at 9:00am CST.  Register for the webinar here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_B2CVEOFhQ0SW3utioHHRug Join my email list to get previous trainings here: https://mailchi.mp/bythewaycoaching.com/money-mindset-training
49:09
October 18, 2020
5. Investing in You
If you're dealing with narcissists in your life, it's likely you're investing more in them than you realize. This episode describes the three main ways you invest your most precious resources into those who never give you a return on that investment, and the first step to take to redirect those resources back to you. Investing in yourself is the best thing you can do for your life. The episode mentions my upcoming Money Mastery for Narcissist Survivors training. Get on the list to get the dates and the link! https://mailchi.mp/bythewaycoaching.com/money-mindset-training
33:59
October 02, 2020
4. Self-Trust
Learning to self-trust is tricky when recovering from narcissists. Especially after we learn that we've been self-sabotaging (see previous podcast episode). BUT what if you didn't have to wait until you do the work to heal in order to trust yourself? I tell you exactly how to do this in three simple steps that feel amazing. Also, there are two simple exercises included that you can complete that will deepen your awareness and give you some momentum in getting you on that path to self-trust starting today.
29:55
September 18, 2020
3. Self-Sabotage
Do you ever feel like you're always in second place? That things just never work out for you? Or that toxic people are in your life all the time and there's nothing you can do about it? If so, self-sabotage is likely at play. This episode goes into what exactly self-sabotage is, why it's there, and what you can do about it. Remember, self-sabotage doesn't mean your failures are your fault. It means there are mechanisms at play that need to be dealt with and the good news is you have the power to deal with them so that you can automatically create success in your life. Hope you enjoy this episode!
42:58
August 28, 2020
2. God is Not a Narcissist
Today we are examining how narcissism and your faith are connected. You might not realize it, but if you are recovering from narcissist abuse it might be affecting your relationship with God. The good news is that God is NOT a narcissist and he doesn't need you to feel guilt or live your faith so that HE can feel better. This episode is designed to heal this particular point of pain in your life so that you can have a healthy relationship with God which will empower you in all your other relationships and in every other aspect of your life.
38:27
August 20, 2020
1. The Gift of Grief
This episode is near and dear to my heart. Grief is one of those essential emotions for healing but it's also one of the emotions we avoid feeling the most. Narcissism in your life necessarily involves loss that if we confront and process through it will open up the way to all the healing we need to do. I break down what grief is, why we avoid it, give you lots of examples of grief, a couple from my own life as well as from clients (anonymous of course). I show you how to process grief and give you ways to manage resistance to grief. If you need to grieve, this episode is for you. I am here for you anytime. Please reach out to laura@bythewaycoaching.com and I will respond. 
32:60
August 07, 2020
Step 5: Emotional Resilience
You made it to the final step! Emotional resilience is the crowing achievement, the end goal (though there's never really an end, it's a practice that you gradually develop over time), the thing that will protect you from drama and emotional pain in your life. It doesn't mean you're perfect, but it does increase how much peace, joy, and confidence you feel on a daily basis. This episode closely examines exactly what emotional resilience looks like and how we develop it over time. Congratulations, you've finished the foundational work that we will be building on for the duration of the podcast. Much more is coming down the pipeline, stay tuned!
33:26
July 24, 2020
Step 4: Mind Management
Welcome to the 4th step in the 5 step series to heal from narcissist abuse. This is the nitty gritty. The specific coaching tool I use to help my clients heal one thought at a time. In this episode we break down The Model, the simplified sophisticated tool created by Brooke Castillo, my coach. Slowing down and plugging one thought at a time in this model will create SO much healing and change in your life as you develop this practice. This episode might require you sitting down and taking notes, I promise you it’ll be worth it.
35:21
July 17, 2020
Step 3: Unconditional Love
Welcome to the 3rd step in healing from narcissist abuse. This is the MOST important step of them all because it is the source of all your healing. In this episode you will learn exactly what unconditional self-love looks like, what it doesn't look like, how to develop it, and you get a bonus exercise you can do TODAY to do what I do with all my clients as they develop this skill. At the end you'll here self-love affirmations that you can replay over and over so that your mind can learn how it feels to truly love yourself. 
48:16
July 11, 2020
Step 2: Boundaries
In this step we take what we learned in Step 1: Self-Responsibility and we put it into action by setting boundaries. In this episode you'll learn all about what boundaries really are, why they are so important, and HOW to practice setting boundaries if this is something you struggle with. This is a deep dive into an essential part of your healing so don't miss it! 
27:39
July 06, 2020
Step 1: Self-Responsibility
This is the first step in my 5 step series to heal from narcissist abuse. Taking responsibility for yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions is a critical foundation to gaining back the control you actually have, not the control you think you have. It goes against everything you've been taught to believe, but once you master this concept, you will feel empowered like never before, and experience true freedom.  Try it on and let me know how it goes. You can email me at laura@bythewaycoaching.com or tag/DM me on Instagram @laurabythewaycoaching Enjoy!
22:34
July 02, 2020
Podcast Update and The Antidote to Narcissism
You might notice some changes in this episode! I am refining my message to reach a specific audience, those who have suffered from narcissist abuse and are ready to get themselves back. We will focus on what narcissism is, how it affects you, and my own method of recovery. Not only are we going to dive deep on these issues with new insights, concepts and tools, we will learn the skills to up-level your life! Welcome to the journey!
14:20
June 30, 2020
Difficult Relationships
Join me today as we explore why relationships can be so difficult and what to do about them. In this episode we briefly cover my 5 Steps to Peace with Anyone training. If you want to dive deeper you can sign up! The training includes 5 in depth videos to explain each concept, a companion workbook for guided application of what you'll be learning, and opportunities to be coached LIVE by me for free.  Sign up at https://mailchi.mp/900b269d556c/workbook to get access to the videos, workbook and links to the call starting Monday, December 16th.  Find me on Instagram @laurabythewaycoaching or on Facebook at facebook.com/laurabythewaycoaching Drop a line or leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you!
34:07
December 15, 2019
Failure
This episode is dedicated to those who have struggled with the pain and fear of failure. We talk about what failure is, why it is so painful, and how to look at failure differently. You will learn how failure is an important part of the coaching process and its role in your life. 
24:30
August 23, 2019
Self-Love
In this episode, we dive into the concept of self-love. It’s an ethereal concept, one of which those of us who have lost our sense of self can barely comprehend. Today we will understand it in real terms. I’ll teach you what it really is, why it’s so important, what it looks like in real life, what it doesn’t look like, and practical steps to develop self-love today and every day.
29:07
August 09, 2019
People Pleasing
If you find that you have a hard time saying no, or that you secretly resent people that you love, you are probably people pleasing. You care more about how others feel than you do about yourself. In this episode we dive into what people pleasing looks like, why we develop this coping mechanism and how to stop.
22:02
August 03, 2019