Getting Old Quickly

In Episode 180, Billy Donnelly decides that this is the end of the Getting Old Quickly podcast. After 3 ½ years of doing this show, he shares his reasoning for bringing things to a close and explains how and when he knew he was making the right decision. He offers his thanks to so many who helped make this podcast last as long as he did and talks about what an important role this personal outlet has played in his life.

In Episode 179, Billy Donnelly wants to talk about the male loneliness epidemic he's heard getting more attention lately. As a subject that's been discussed on Getting Old Quickly before, he aims to address some of the contributing factors that cause such difficulty in making and maintaining adult friendships -- but also why it can be a bit harder for men, in general. He also talks about some of the mockery of the problem he's heard, sharing why it's not helpful and just further keeps the vicious cycle of male loneliness rolling forward. Additionally, he shares his belief that the more we talk about such a problem and continue to acknowledge it's happening, the easier it becomes for people to find others looking for similar connection.

In Episode 178, Billy Donnelly shares that he's been plagued by negative thoughts as of late -- regardless of how much he works to fight against them on the regular. He speaks with reminders that these things are never fully gone and, even though we know how to combat them, sometimes it's easier said than done. However, he wants others to know just what a pain in the ass they can be from time to time and that we all struggle with it when it does re-occur.

In Episode 177, Billy Donnelly reveals that he has joined a bocce league. And, in doing so, he once again reiterates the need for us to find a way to get to yes and do the things that interest us. Much like he found with painting earlier in the year, he was able to talk himself into doing something that looked fun, instead of finding an excuse not to -- and may have found another hobby to keep him busy and get him out of the house.

In Episode 176, Billy Donnelly reminds you (and himself) that we are not flawless individuals. We screw up, and we make mistakes. However, all we can do is take things one day at a time and continue trying to learn and be better from those failings. All we can do is just keep swimming.

In Episode 175, Billy Donnelly shares the details of his recent vacation to the Mediterranean, talking about what he liked and didn't like during his cruise voyage through parts of Greece, Italy, and Malta. He also provides an update on his health and how his anxieties held up during the trip. Additionally, he speaks a few words about the tragic loss of wrestler Windham Rotunda/Bray Wyatt.

In Episode 174, Billy Donnelly pops in with an explanation as to why there's not much of a show this week. As a result of whatever germs he picked up while on his Mediterranean cruise, he spells out why pushing through with details of his trip while struggling with his voice and having difficulty hearing isn't the best idea.

In Episode 173, Billy Donnelly is not here. Instead, he's traveling through parts of Europe on a cruise. But he still manages to share some of his excitement but also natural anxieties about the vacation while gone.

In Episode 172, Billy Donnelly offers up a reminder that we never eliminate our issues. While it's a wonderful idea to believe we slay our dragons, he shares his disbelief that such is ever truly the case -- because it's a constant battle to keep them at bay. As a result, he counters that it's more about continuing to create more and more distance from our struggles in order to make them less powerful when they inevitably resurface.

In Episode 168, Billy Donnelly feels incredibly well prepared as his therapist goes on maternity leave. He discusses feeling no anxiety about her absence and actually feels really confident that he'll be able to handle anything that comes his way in the coming months with the tools that have been put in place over the years. He also shares a story about presenting his therapist with a gift for her family to celebrate the new baby and how personally it felt for him to be able to do that.

In Episode 167, Billy Donnelly discusses some recent bouts he had with an overwhelming amount of anxiety. He talks about what they felt like, in addition to what he believes triggered them. And he also shares that no matter how much work we put into moving forward from certain events in our lives, they still have the capacity to show up and affect us at the most random times.

In Episode 164, Billy Donnelly finds himself in a holding pattern. After beginning a new program intended to boost his self-esteem, he intended to come to the show with some of the new things he had learned as he got started. However, he could not get as deep into it as he would have liked to bring a decent understanding of it to this week's show. Therefore, everything is status quo as he introduces exactly what he's doing and how it was brought to his attention but with a wait-and-see approach for things to come.

In Episode 163, Billy Donnelly comes to terms with the fact that the idea of constantly being happy is impossible, and yet it is still an unattainable pursuit that human beings embark on constantly. He discusses the chemical reactions in our brains that result from moments of happiness and how they then become like a drug that we want more of. However, that sets us up with a hunger that can't be satisfied, no matter what thing we get that we're told will make us feel happy. He shares that he used to feel as if there was something wrong with him for not being able to be happy all the time, especially as others presented themselves as happy non-stop. But he has learned over time that people show you only what they want to see, and while he may have been feeling bad about himself assuming they were living awesome lives, that wasn't the case; they were just hiding their unhappiness better.

In Episode 162, Billy Donnelly shares his experience with taking his daughter to her first-ever concert: Paramore. He talks about the ability to tap into a small corner of his daughter's life as she becomes her own person by sharing such a memory with her and what it was like to take in a show once again -- but through the eyes of someone whose never done it before.

In Episode 161, Billy Donnelly reveals that his high school recently held its 25-year reunion for his graduating class. In the process, he explains all the reasons why he didn't go to this one nor to any of the previous reunions held for the Class of 1998. He once again revisits his dislike for his high school experience, and even though he holds some fantastical ideas about what possibly attending would accomplish or prove, he realizes just how much more harm circling back to those memories could create.

In Episode 160, Billy Donnelly talks about his miserable work situation and how feeling useless in his current role has been having an overall negative impact on his mental health over the last several weeks. He discusses our innate need to feel productive and contribute meaningfully to society, and how when it feels like that has been taken away from us, we grow frustrated -- and depression can set in. He talks about our desires to be seen and how, in a work environment, that means allowing you the space to maximize your potential and display your talents, skills, and abilities. We don't want to feel like our time is being wasted, and when it is, it's hard to shake loose from.

In Episode 159, Billy Donnelly talks about the escalating levels of travel anxiety he's found he experiences now -- particularly after his most recent trip to Detroit and Chicago. While he felt a certain degree of nervousness in traveling before, since the diagnosis of his GI condition, he's found that being in situations where he lacks control over his surroundings and environment can take a toll on how he physically feels -- which then plays a role in his level of concern over inexplicably finding himself with a bathroom emergency. He describes several scenarios from his trip to explain further how his mind and gut wind up in a vicious cycle of worry that does him no favors. And he talks about the burden he carries in certain situations when he can just tell his health and its inconveniences are becoming an annoyance for others and the feelings he then has to deal with as a result.

In Episode 158, Billy Donnelly discusses his recent travels to Michigan and Chicago, this time for yet another Drewpies reunion with his internet friends from the pandemic. And while the last time didn't go so well for him, he talks about the enjoyment he was able to take from this trip. In addition, he recaps how this whole unique situation even came together and shares just how much this "band of misfits" means to him as they were a key part of his life at a very difficult time. And as a result, making it through such a tough stretch has bonded him to all of them from here on out.

In Episode 155, Billy Donnelly had to confront the fact that sometimes you are the source of someone else's triggers. For all the talk about handling one's own triggers on the podcast, he's never had to encounter the idea that you might be responsible for the negative feelings of others born from past events. This week, he dives into that situation, discussing the feelings in him that then in turn had to work through. However, he also shared that the work he's done on his own approach to triggers in his life led to a better sense of understanding and empathy of what another was going through -- something he's not sure would have gone so smoothly in years past.

In Episode 154, Billy Donnelly experiences a rare occurrence of FOMO. Having experienced WrestleMania weekend several times in years past, he started to feel a little bummed this year seeing all the people in Los Angeles for this year's annual event -- and wanted to talk about how he's coping with those feelings on this week's show.

In Episode 153, Billy Donnelly discusses imposter syndrome, primarily because he finally found his own. After years of believing that he sometimes almost belonged too much, a couple of recent instances -- centered around going to concerts -- had him feeling like maybe he didn't belong in those situations. It prompted some reflection about past cases in which he limited himself and what he did because he didn't think he'd be welcomed into particular communities. Likely buoyed by other gatekeeper experiences, his anxiety about being seen as a fraud or a poser was enough to keep him away, protecting him from hurt and discomfort. However, faced with decisions about New Found Glory and Taylor Swift, he finally found it within himself to push back on the idea that he didn't belong.

In Episode 152, Billy Donnelly tells the story of an internet influencer who negatively affected his mood recently. He shares all his feelings about a vague individual who claimed to spend "5 figures" on tickets to see Taylor Swift on the opening night of her new Eras Tour. And while he is quick to explain that people can do whatever they want with their money, it was the tone-deaf approach to humble bragging about certain behaviors as of late that he found led to him feeling a little jealous and a lot angry. However, what he chose to do with those emotions led to a few proud moments of his growth. In addition, he lays out why he felt the need to tell such a tale, as even knowing how bad the internet can make you feel from time to time, especially with the fakeness of social media and influencer culture, he still found himself sucked into it on a specific thing.

In Episode 151, Billy Donnelly discusses parenting and how it's no picnic. He talks about the difficulty and mess of parenthood that not many people want to discuss because they think it's some poor reflection of them. However, he stresses the need to talk about the mess, because nobody's perfect at raising children, and it can often be a frustrating experience. He also taps into the idea that sometimes your kids aren't great, and it's normal to think so instead of working overtime to convince yourself otherwise that they're somehow perfect angels. He shares a couple of experiences he had recently with his children that pushed him to those negative thoughts of failing as a parent. However, he pushes back on them hard and sees it for what it is, knowing he's doing the best he can with no instructions or manual available on how to do this "the right way."

In Episode 150, Billy Donnelly shares his gratitude for hitting such a milestone episode, given that he never thought this podcast would reach this point when it first started. But then he moves on to embracing the idea that no one has any clue what they're doing. He discusses the front that people put up to display that everything is good on their end, but -- thanks to a therapy lesson -- he's come to terms with the fact that that's not the case, and everyone's lives are messy. He relays that he thought something might be wrong with him at various points because he was struggling and his life wasn't where it "should" be. But he's taken comfort in the knowledge that we're all just winging it and hoping things work out okay because there's no real right way to do any of it. He also talks about his experience growing up and seeing adults who looked like they had a pretty decent grasp on things -- something he now knows just wasn't the case. 

In Episode 149, Billy Donnelly re-enters a mental space from the past that he does not like being in: seeking acceptance and outside validation. He once again shares the story of his time as a writer and his desperate desire to be part of "The Cool Kids Club" of people whose stamp of approval would solidify him as someone of note in the community. That brings things to today when he found himself doing something similar with a new piece he had written recently and chasing something similar -- being acknowledged by those with influence within a different community. As a result, he examines why he so badly has wanted this form of acceptance, how it has made him feel over the years seemingly never getting it, and the growth he's made over time in at least being to acknowledge it for what it is and knowing how badly it affects his mental health. 

In Episode 147, Billy Donnelly discusses his unhelpful habit of traveling down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts. He talks about his acceptance of a reality where nothing goes right and everything is bound to go awry, leading to disappointment, heartbreak, and hurt. While not one to wholeheartedly catastrophize situations, it is very difficult for him to find any degree of hope or optimism as he plays out scenarios in his head, both large and small. However, with his therapist's guidance, he is putting in the work to challenge his negative thoughts and push back against falling down the rabbit hole, describing what some of that process has been like for him. He talks about creating new habits to replace the old ones that help break the cycle of resorting to negative thoughts each time, and how it has helped him in dealing with some of his fears, concerns, and anxieties. 

In Episode 146, Billy Donnelly recovers enough of his voice to talk about his recent trip to Texas to attend the WWE Royal Rumble. He elaborates on his visits to both Austin and San Antonio, but also touches upon the meaning that the Royal Rumble event has for him, in relation to his birthday and his childhood. In addition, a chance encounter with a pinball machine ties in nicely with some of the more positive associations he was able to joyously experience over this particular weekend. However, he does have one point of contention that comes up at the end, as it pertains to not having the ability to coordinate opportunities to cross paths with others he would have liked to see. 

In Episode 145, Billy Donnelly has no voice. Hoarse from a weekend trip to the Royal Rumble and struggling to be heard, he decides to honor his body's limits and not do much of a show, only showing up to apprise listeners of the situation before getting back to resting up his vocal cords to be back to 100% soon enough.

In Episode 143, Billy Donnelly discusses the idea of painting his nails black, but, in doing so, opens up a whole can of worms. He discusses confidence and self-esteem as it pertains to the issue and how he's long cut himself off from trying new things out of concern for what other people might think. He also talks about the nail polish as a form of expression in finding one's self and how you might want to present yourself to the world; in turn, experimenting with different things to find what you like, what you connect with, and what resonates with you. He brings up the constraints that far too many have on what adulthood should be and when you should have everything figured out, but he's growing more and more comfortable with the fact that he's still learning and growing, and changing. But an important lesson he's taking away from all of this is that just trying something doesn't have to then make it permanent nor does it have to work; just getting to yes and seeing how it goes is enough. 

In Episode 142, Billy Donnelly looks at self-esteem, particularly low self-esteem, as a belief system upon which one's identity has been built. He compares it to other systems of belief, such as politics or religion, where people have bought in so completely -- almost like a cult. As a result of fully embracing what you believe is the truth, any attempts to challenge, question, or topple such systems are met with resistance. Anything that goes against what you have come to know is treated as wrong, even if it is coming from yourself; it feels like a lie and one you are trying to tell yourself for whatever reason. For him, outside validation has often served as a tool for combatting negative thoughts, ideas, and beliefs of self -- not being desirable, not being worthy, not being good enough, etc. -- as it cemented the idea that someone else believed it, too. However, the goal is to change these negative belief systems by being able to validate yourself, as one cannot rely on others to boost you up forever. Therefore, he talks about the need to identify and recognize when those negative belief systems are kicking into action, in the hopes of presenting more positive assessments that can be used to replace them over time. 

In Episode 141, Billy Donnelly rings in the new year by trying something new -- venturing into the realm of gratitude. He explains his skepticism of what has felt like a gratitude trend over the last several years and his unwillingness to engage in toxic positivity. However, after having the purpose of expressing gratitude (lists, journals, etc.) reframed for him as a way to rewire oneself to focus more on the positive than the negative, he's willing to give it at least a shot and see if it helps at all. He concludes by naming several things that he is indeed grateful for and winds up feeling pretty good about the exercise. 

In Episode 140, Billy Donnelly offers up Happy Holidays wishes for you and hopes that you can set boundaries if you need them for things/people that are overwhelming you, stressing you out, causing you unnecessary anxiety, or just being overall toxic toward you. 

In Episode 139, Billy Donnelly stares down the barrel of possibly not going to therapy anymore and finds it a terrifying prospect. After a comment by his therapist, he really examines the scary idea of not having the support system he's built for himself on a weekly basis or not being able to access it again if he leaves it behind. He also ponders when the time might be for him to lose the safety net of therapy and trust in himself to handle things better in life based on the things he's taken away from and learned through therapy over the years. 

In Episode 138, a recent tiff about AI art has Billy Donnelly once again reiterating why your feelings are important. As a result, he discusses the need to advocate for yourself and speak up about your feelings when they are negatively impacted or affected deeply. He talks about how most people don't purposely mean to hurt our feelings, but, when they do, rather than assuming any meaning behind it or that things will magically change on their own, we need to inform people of how we felt about it, so they know and can take that into account in the future. You will not be making things worse; if anything, in the long run, you'll be making things better for yourself. 

In Episode 136, Billy Donnelly talks about his mindset heading into his first tattoo -- which took place over the Thanksgiving weekend. He discusses the worry and anxiety (and lack of funds) that for so long stopped him from following through on getting inked, and how that also translates to larger parts of his life where it's been easy to find a reason not to do something than just going ahead and making it happen. He also talks about how this is a bit of a test to prove to himself that he can do the things he wants and not automatically assume it'll turn out in failure, loss, or catastrophe. 

In Episode 135, Billy Donnelly is just having a day: just one where you sleep in late, are entirely unmotivated to do anything, wind up accomplishing nothing and watch the day pretty much pass you by. However, he discusses why it's okay to be in those days when you find yourself lacking energy or effort, and how it took him a while to get to that place. He talks about the pressures that society can put on you to have to do more and be more, constantly striving to get further toward "goals" and the negative stigma ("lazy") that accompanies other people's judgments of not constantly pressing forward. However, he talks about the importance of giving yourself a rest or a pause, per se, allowing you to pick things back up that aren't really a major priority later down the road refreshed and ready as opposed to forcing the issue when you're not in the space for it. He also discusses the death of Jason David Frank and the importance of asking for help when you're not in a good place mentally. 

In Episode 134, Billy Donnelly tries to come to terms with the fact that he may have some people-pleasing tendencies, and he's not happy about it. He discusses how easy it is to feel bad if someone has hurt feelings or is upset after an interaction with him, even though he knows their reaction and response are more about them than him. As a result, he dives into the importance to him that others aren't mad at him and his wanting to control those situations by squashing any negative feelings quickly and making things better -- hence, the people-pleasing behaviors. He also touches upon how such fear is entangled with his other issues of wanting to be liked and seeking outside validation, as they all to a certain degree deal with acceptance.

In Episode 133, Billy Donnelly heads to the dispensary for the first time ever. After some recent flare-ups of his GI condition, he figured he'd explore cannabis as a potential treatment to alleviate some of his worse days. So, on his recent trip to D.C., visiting a dispensary made the list of things that had to be done. As a result, he discusses what that experience was like -- not knowing anything about the process, in the midst of a bunch of weird rules for how it can be "sold" in the area -- in addition to his background with marijuana not really being his scene. He also offers a quick assessment of how he's seen it affect him in the short time he's been partaking and speaks about the movement he has made over the years on its usage, both medicinally and recreationally.