Stress Bucket Solutions

This episode is dedicated to those of you struggling with chronic or terminal illness, either personally or with a loved one.

When there is no solution how can you remain solution focused? How can you be positive when there is nothing but a negative outcome, however much you try to wish for it all to go away?

Fancy dipping yourself in ice-cold water? Or going for a swim in a freezing loch? Use this episode to decide if it's for you or not.

Why do we crave likes, shares, and comments? Why do we need others to boost our ego? Can we find validation from within ourselves?

In this episode I talk about the causes of validation, in particular with social media, and how to get self-worth and self-esteem from within. Because when you do that you'll be unstoppable!

Following on from the last episode I want to tell you exactly what you can expect from my 10 week programme - and I'm a bit Lucy Goosey about the 10 weeks ;)

If we can be more open about what happens in therapy sessions will that reduce the stigma? In this episode, I explain why I am passionate about being open about the solution-focused formula.

Do not make assumptions about therapy - and stop listening to some random person who once had a bad experience with therapy. In this episode, I bust the myths around therapy that could be stopping you from getting the help you need and changing your life.

In this episode, I explain why you should be getting better quality sleep - the cycles of sleep should be understood by everyone.

We hear people say that you should "work on yourself" but how do you do that? In this episode I'll explain how - and you don't need to start journaling!

You were fabulous last year and you'll be fabulous this year, so no need for new year new you!

Hoarding is a sign of poor mental health...so clear out 1 drawer or cupboard this week and empty your stress bucket.

If you're a people-pleaser you need to listen to this episode.

Find out how to identify the traits of people-pleasing and how to maintain healthy personal boundaries.

Dating in the 21st century is difficult - but we all need a human connection. Do you have an 'other half' or are you a complete person on your own?

Here's your Christmas Stress Strategy!

You've got to get honest with yourself and think about if you're comfortable with your anxiety or if are you ready to choose another 'type of difficult' that may also require you to do the work.

Welcome back to season 4 - we're back to the old format of short sharp episodes to make you think.

This week it's all about how to accept the events in our life and deal with them, not avoid them, which only leads to more stress and anxiety.

There's a fine line between coaching and therapy but when you need help it's important to get the right help. In this episode Ewan talks about his own productivity and performance, how it spreads to ALL areas of your life, and how a sticking plaster of venting your problems is not the answer.

In today's episode, I interview someone who has been following this podcast since the beginning and has emptied their stress bucket just by following my advice and yet never seeing me 1 to 1 for a session - which means you can do it too. Find out how Jane now has better perspective, is sleeping well, and managing the challenges of her life like never before after being convinced that the solution focused process was a good fit for her.

You're going to hear from Eloise today - superwoman extraordinaire who runs her own linguistics company.

She's honest about the brick wall she slammed into after a phenomenally successful year and how SFT got her through it. Should everyone in business have a therapist? Warning - she's like me; she talks fast when she gets excited to put on your seat belt and get ready for the ride!

When people say that men don't talk about their mental health I strongly disagree - they do - they just want solutions, not to go over the problems. I see a lot of male clients for this reason as solution focused work really appeals to that sort of mindset, so hear from Stuart in this episode. How he changed his life and started changing the world around him by seeing the positives everywhere he went - even when he was going to Tescos!

In this episode, you're going to hear from David, Jules husband - you remember Jules...one of the worst cases of anxiety I had ever seen. You can hear her original interview - Season 2 episode 3.

I wanted you to hear from David as the partner of someone suffering from anxiety because it not only affects you - it affects those you love. If you're going to make a change and you can't do it for yourself, can you do it for someone in your life? Do you realise how worried they are about you? What difference would it make to them if you emptied your stress bucket and got the real you back?

In today's episode, Ffion talks all about her fear of sickness. But not only that she talks about how she began to understand that undlerying anxiety, or a full stress bucket was affecting so many areas of her life.

But to feel empowered she needed to do this alone....so 2 months later, because she was doing so well, she wanted to re-record her interview.

I thought it would be good for you to hear both her interviews though - so you could hear the difference that solution focused work makes for life...the changes continue even after we've finished our 10-week programme.

I hope you enjoy this extra-long episode!

So what happens 1 year after you've emptied your stress bucket? Is it still empty or do you need more sessions?

Find out how Helen went from strength to strength once she had completed her 10-week programme. You can hear her original interview in Season 1; episode 123

Contrary to popular opinion I'm not always positive, calm, and collected; I have my moments.

Hear about what happened to me on my holidays for my big birthday and how I handled it - could you learn something from this?

Are you ready for therapy now then? I hope this season has helped you either begin your research or, even better, take a leap of faith into therapy and change your life and the lives of those around you too.

You've made the decision, and it resonates with you, now you need to book that introductory call. You don't need to be anxious about that because in this episode I explain what I ask and why I'm asking it.

Therapy is now more accessible than ever but you need to find what works for you. Although I work purely online over Zoom with my clients, in this episode I discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each. Find what works for you, there's no right or wrong answer.

Many people put off therapy because they think it's just talking and they should be able to do this on their own.

And they're right, it is just talking, but therapists have been trained to use a lot of powerful questioning to create change within you. Don't underestimate the power of a professional. That's why you should respect the privacy of someone who has already emptied their stress bucket. Find out more in this episode.

With so much information out there how do you find the right therapy and therapist for you? What's the difference between CBT and Solution Focused work? What to choose? In this episode, I hope to answer these questions but I'd like you to take the time to reflect on what resonates with you. There's no wrong answer.

Jules' was literally shaking with anxiety and was off work. Listen to how she got her life back, got back to work, and how her kids are kind of pleased and at the same time annoyed that they've got their mum back!!!! She has created generational change in her family and you can too. She is an inspiration.

What if it doesn't work? What is the right therapy for me? If the medicine is there why won't you take it?

In this episode, I talk about those barriers and, from my point of view, why you need to examine them. You have to do what's right for you so take some time after listening to this episode to self-reflect and work out what questions you need answering. Then go and do your homework!

The most difficult thing for me as a therapist is to offer you the help but you won't take it. Please look after yourself and those around you.

It's good to be back....what's coming up this season?

Yeah, I've been ghosted, and here's what I think about it.

Also, this is episode 150, can you believe it - I need a little break and time to have a rethink, I think.

No one likes change, even if it's good for you. Find out why and more in this week's episode.

Here's a really useful metaphor to explain how you can create powerful change in your own mind if only you can give your 'secretary' a detailed, positive image, and bypass the health and safety officer.

*** This podcast contains a relaxation exercise. Do not listen to this if you are driving or operating machinery ***

This is the intro to the relaxation I use during sessions and that my clients fall asleep to. I hope you enjoy it.

We've all been there - you could demolish a packet of chocolate biscuits in 5 mins when you've been triggered, but where does it come from and what can you do about it? Find out in this episode.

A full stress bucket fuels the primitive brain, but the stress response from the primitive brain is very different for each one of us. Can you identify yours?

The deep relaxation we do in solution focused sessions is extremely restorative. Different types of rest give you different feelings of relaxation. Are you really relaxing? 

Good luck to all of you doing exams right now - here are some tips to manage your stress and ace that exam!

Do you meet the therapeutic threshold? I look for confirmation of these 3 statements when screening you for solution focused therapy.

Can you curate your life? Is what you're doing now in line with your vision of how your life should be? 

Don't put yourself in a box and give yourself a label - it's a self-fulfilling prophecy!

In solution focused work it's the small wins that are often the most powerful. Make sur you celebrate your small wins to keep it solution focused.

I don't expect you to be positively solution focused all the time - it would be exhausting. What we do in sessions is brain training, preparing you for the challenges which come in ALL our lives. 

You are the expert of you so here's some advice on how to find the right solution for you. 

Often you can be so consumed with anxiety or depression that you don't notice the impact this has on the ones you love. If you can't change for yourself, maybe you can change for them. 

I'm happy to give away all my knowledge in this podcast and my book - because I want to take away the mystery of therapy. Find out more in today's episode. 

***Trigger Warning*** In today's episode I talk about the very sensitive subjects of suicide and depression. Please skip this episode if you find these subjects difficult to think about.

However, I do talk about the solution focused process of helping people and the reasons why we should celebrate every small win, I hope this episode helps you or someone you know. 

Fallen off the wagon yet? Then don't panic - listen to this episode and understand why new years resolutions are unsustainable - try small consistent intentions instead. 

My opinion on manifesting and why, if you're not careful, it could be very damaging.