Being a GirlBoss is often a lonely road and we have to celebrate our own victories and celebrate each other, every step of the way. We all need a little motivation and a friend to tell us how it is and make sure we are keeping it real. Leadership and Culture Changemaker, coach, writer and speaker, Deborah Hartung, is that friend. Episodes are never longer than 15 minutes and always aim to educate, entertain and enlighten you, no matter your age or where you are on your leadership journey. Leadership & Personal Development for women leaders and entrepreneurs (and the men who support us).
Instead of assuming that love is romantic or familial, Deborah encourages listeners to distinguish love-based actions and emotions from those that are fear-based and to act from a place of love, more often. For additional reading, check out Scott Stabile ‘Big Love’ and Sonia Chocquette ‘traveling at the speed of love’. Let’s make the world a better place by showing more love to all living beings!
You need to believe in yourself and your abilities, fiercely and unequivocally. Don’t let the fears of others - or your win negative self talk - get in the way of achieving your goals or taking risks to change the world. You are amazing and should be grateful just for ‘you’ every single day!
Are you still stuck on an event from the past? Something ended and you don’t really know why? Deborah talks about what she calls the ‘myth of closure’ and how you can move on by accepting an apology you will never get and making peace with an explanation you may never hear. Turn the page and move on with the story of your life after a chapter has ended, without clinging to needing some explanation or validation.
How many projects have you started and not finished? How many of those projects still belong on your to-do list? Deborah invites you to follow this inspiring mantra: stop Starting, start finishing and start where you are. No more procrastinating and no more feeling bad about all those unfinished projects. Do what you can with what you have and start where you are.
Your fear and self limiting beliefs are the only thing standing in the way of a world of opportunities for growth, Discovery, success and abundance. Deborah invites you to start a personal SWOT analysis to really start looking at the things that make you amazing and set you apart and to then identify just one opportunity that you can grab right now. The worst that can happen, is that someone says ‘no’. And there will always be other opportunities- the more you put yourself out there, the more you will see this to be true. What are you waiting for?!
The shadow side to being kind and empathetic and always willing to help others, is that we take on burdens that are not ours to carry. In this episode, Deborah reminds you that there are certain things in life which are possibly causing you anxiety and stress and overwhelm right now, which are not your job and not your responsibility. Identify the things that you’re objectively not responsible for and remind yourself that it’s ‘not my job’ and let it go, instead of adding more to your plate.
Deborah shares a very personal story about the importance of not internalizing the behaviors of others and not taking things personally. It’s important that we see people for who they are and meet them where they are on their journey and that we choose our battles wisely to conserve our emotional energy. Never take anything personally. It’s not a reflection of you - it’s a reflection of them.
Simply having knowledge about something doesn't actually lead to lasting change. If we truly want to change our lives, we need to change our behaviors and we need to create healthier, more positive habits for ourselves. In this episode, Deborah explains why you should set some small, manageable goals and use a habit tracking app to really internalize the change.
What is the best compliment you have ever received? A compliment about your character and your way of showing up in this world? What lasting impression are you leaving on the people you interact with? Even if the interactions are brief and fleeting, you can still make sure that you are remembered for your warmth and empathy and kindness and authenticity. Deborah invites you to think of your absolute best qualities and to shine those into the world more often. She also asks that you tell your friends and loved ones what their best qualities are, so that they too, may rise to meet their best self.
In this retrospective, Deborah encourages you to be the Architect of your own life, instead of being a construction worker for someone else’s dreams. Gain some Perspective on work and life and start doing more of the things that bring you joy and less of the things that drain you and make you feel ‘less than’ your best self. Do the wheel of life exercise. Start keeping a mood tracker. Audit your circle. Use GROW coaching on yourself to actively craft the life of your dreams! Visit deborahhartung.com for free resources.
As with all things in nature, human relationships also go through cycles and we can be a lot happier and healthier if we all let go of our expectation that human relationships should last ‘forever’ or that any kind of a relationship ending, is somehow a ‘failure’. Deborah explains the approach of ‘reason, season or lifetime’ and reminds you that all things generally come to an end and reach their sell by date. And that is ok.
Deborah recently got to spend time with one of her best friends who was visiting Johannesburg from Chicago. Being around someone who brings out the best in us, someone who encourages us to do better and be better, is one of the most rewarding parts of being alive. Deborah encourages you to find your tribe. People smarter than you. People who make you laugh. People who encourage and support you. People you can talk to and be vulnerable with and people who challenge you and help you grow. People who light you up and bring joy to your heart.
In a world of suffering, violence, poverty and efforts to erode human rights, Deborah invites you to be aware of what is happening in your community and to find a cause that sets your soul on fire. Anything - Animal rights or children or education or women’s or LGBTQ rights or the environment. Find something and DO something. Donate your time or your expertise. Support a cause that is bigger than you and your job and your friends. Positively impact and change the world and leave a lasting legacy.
Deborah shares some insights into how you can use mood tracking in your personal life and at work to create awareness and really improve relationships and overall wellbeing. Combining mood tracking with free apps or journaling, as well as a personal coaching companion, helps you make sense of your moods and track days that were super challenging or really awesome. Deborah has designed the mood tracking companion questions along the GROW coaching methodology, so it’s super easy for you to implement at work and at home. Free download at deborahhartung.com or keep an eye out for the articles dropping later this week.
In the corporate world, there are few phrases worse for innovation and growth than “we’ve always done things this way”. We have many traditions in our families, our communities and our workplaces that may well be outdated and not serving us or bringing us any joy. Deborah invites you to look at some of the traditions you uphold and do a quick audit. Are these aligned with your values and your purpose? Do these traditions bring you joy? Do they make sense? Or are they holding you back or causing you anxiety?
Deborah encourages you to realize that you are Enough, right now. You don’t need a better job or car or house. You don’t need to lose a few pounds, first. Your worth as a human being doesn’t depend on what you do for a living or what possessions you have or your physical appearance. You are Enough right now and you deserve to love yourself. Right now. Just as you are.
Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional. In this episode, Deborah discusses the importance of embracing disagreements and conflict as a learning opportunity and truly knowing your motives and being aware of your ego. Engage with empathy and use active listening to build relationships. Don’t let your ego take over and escalate verbal disagreements into full-blown combat that breaks down people and ruins relationships.
Ever noticed how judgmental we are of others? What they’re wearing, their body type, their physical appearance in general? When we judge everyone else, we also tend to judge ourselves more harshly and we are dealing with a global pandemic of low self-esteem. Deborah invites you to quit the judgment on others. Be kinder to everyone you see and be kinder to yourself. It’s how we change the world.
There are really only 2 kinds of people in this world - those who energize and inspire us and those who drain and deplete us. Deborah invites you to be mindful of how you feel around certain people and to start becoming more selfish with your time and protecting your energy better, by spending as little time as possible with energy vampires.
If you’re dealing with some kind of heartbreak, be kind to yourself and allow your heart time to heal. Deborah shares 3 tips for recovering from heartbreak and making sure that you don’t compromise on who you are, simply because you’re hurting right now.
Deborah shares the transformative power of flipping the script on yourself and replacing every “I have to..” statement with a more positive grateful statement, starting with “I get to..”. Change your thinking and you change your life. Focus on positivity and gratitude and you will find you have more and more positive things to be grateful for.
If you want to change your life, start by changing your mind - the thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back. If you want to change the world, start with yourself. Be clear on your purpose and your goals and focus on those, ignoring the irrational fears and self-limiting beliefs. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by other people’s drama or problems. This is your journey, so just do YOU.
How often do you question your own motives or gain clarity on your intentions before you speak up or take action in your life? Deborah shares a personal account about a friend who had to ask this very tough question of himself recently and had to confront whether or not he was perhaps being manipulative. They key to changing the world is always in changing our own behavior and it starts with self-awareness. Know yourself and know your motives.
Listen to ‘understand’ instead of just listening to ‘respond’. Active Listening is a powerful tool that will help you improve relationships and make people feel genuinely seen and heard. By focusing your attention on the speaker and being respectful and empathetic, you will be amazed at how your relationships change for the better.
Actions always speak louder than words and it is possible to identify toxic people and avoid them, if you look out for the top 5 traits that Deborah has found to be common in all toxic people she has encountered. Keep an eye out for the article for Thrive Global on this topic, later this week.
When meeting new people or assessing current relationships, Deborah reminds us that people can say all kinds of things, but the real test is found in how those people act and behave. Don’t just listen to words. Watch actions and behaviours - those will tell you exactly who someone is.
In Part 2 of the Lessons on Digital Isolation and resultant loneliness, Deborah shares 4 practical tips to get you out of your digital cocoon and back to making some real human connections again. You will feel SO much better, both physically and emotionally. You can also read the article 👉👉👉http://www.lionessesofafrica.com/blog/2019/2/14/can-i-get-a-connection-3-tips-to-overcoming-lonelinessnbsp-in-a-digital-age
Are you perhaps allowing technology and your digital life to become a replacement for IRL connections? Deborah talks about how technology could be contributing to feelings of loneliness and isolation and could be depriving us of human connection. Do a quick stock take of who is important in your life that you haven’t seen in a long time. Is technology creating a false sense of intimacy and connection?
Have you ever noticed a pattern repeating itself in your life? Perhaps in your relationships or your career? Deborah invites you to take stock of these experiences and ask ‘what is this trying to teach me?’. Listen to the expression of your soul in that moment. That inner voice, your heart, knows what to do and what is necessary for you to evolve and grow. If you listen to your fears and your ego, you’re just going to be stuck - Repeating the same experiences until you learn the lesson and move on.
Your daily and weekly schedule should reflect the priorities and things that are truly important to you. Deborah invites you to examine your schedule and see how much time you have scheduled for family or fun or fitness and to then make adjustments accordingly. In saying ‘no’ to activities that drain our energy, we are able to create more time to say YES to the things that add joy and balance to our lives.
Deborah invites you to learn to distinguish between real feelings in a specific moment and question whether the accompanying thoughts and beliefs, are really true. Chances are, the feelings are real but the thoughts are not. You can learn to flip the script and change the thoughts so that the feeling isn’t entirely overwhelming.
Deborah invites you to take a look at all the things on your ‘to do’ list and to examine how many of those are actually YOUR responsibility and how many are other people’s problems and responsibilities that have now become yours to solve. It’s ok to be more selfish with your time and to say NO to the people and activities that drain your energy. It’s the only way to have more balance in your life and to make sure you’re putting yourself, first. You cannot pour from an empty cup..
If you have identified goals you want to focus on this year, Deborah invites you to use GROW coaching to become un-stuck and to use Robin Sharma’s 90/90/1 Principle for exceptional growth. GROW coaching was discussed in Ep 21 and worksheets are available for download on deborahhartung.com. You can also read Deborah’s article for Thrive Global on creating more balance by design.
In order to create more balance in our lives, or embark on a personal journey to create the life we dream of, completing a ‘wheel of life’ assessment is a very useful tool. It allows us to see a visual representation of areas of our lives that need improving. A powerful tool to gain insights and to start a transformation journey with.
How others behave and act towards us, is never about us and always about them. Yet we are so arrogant and self absorbed that we are quick to make things personal and to become defensive or hostile. Deborah invites you to practice the Second Agreement (from The 4 Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz) and to approach all people with more empathy and understanding, removing yourself and your issues from the equation, in order to build better interpersonal relationships.
Stress and burnout don’t happen overnight and the signs are there if we just look for them. Headaches, digestive problems, changes to eating or sleeping habits or lack of interest in sex - all signs that you’re headed for burnout and need to make a change. Deborah encourages you to listen to your body, trust your intuition and find something that feeds your soul and doesn’t just line your pockets. No amount of money is worth your physical health or your overall wellbeing.
As leaders, we have to model the behaviour we want to see in our teams and we have to constantly ensure that our behaviours reflect the values we are trying to promote within the workplace and at home. People will do as we do and not as we say. Deborah invites you to get clear on your values and then break those down into behaviours that support the values vs behaviours that detract and break down. Then start displaying and encouraging the right behaviours and watch engagement soar and culture improve.
Deborah encourages you to do a retrospective on the last 10 years of your life and, instead of focusing on the superficial changes to your face and body, focus instead on what you have learned and how you have grown because of your life experiences and all you have overcome. Then celebrate yourself and your amazing resilience because you are a magical badass!
How often do you think about the fingerprints you leave behind on the souls of everyone you come into contact with? How often do you thank friends and colleagues for their presence in your life or for the impact they have made? Deborah encourages you to be mindful of your impact and to tell others how much you appreciate them, in a warm and authentic way.
Have you ever noticed the power of the phrase “I am”? How do you define yourself? What characteristics are you focusing on? Are these negatively impacting your self esteem and the way other people treat you? Deborah encourages you to look at how you define yourself and make sure you’re focusing on the right descriptors.
After falling ill and being out of commission for a week, Deborah is back, sharing her learnings and the importance of listening to your body and asking for help or just saying ‘no’ so that you don’t run yourself down into full burnout territory. It’s ok to be human!
Do you truly behave in a way that shows that you love yourself? Are you taking care of your health and your diet and your negative self talk and treating yourself as well as you would treat someone you love? If not, now is the time to change that.
Welcome to 2019! Deborah is super excited for a year of new challenges and opportunities for growth and invites you to take the first small step outside your comfort zone and to do something you are afraid of. Smash one fear, then the next and the next until you have the confidence and courage to take on your biggest goals. Smash those fears and be invincible this year!
In the last episode for 2018, Deborah takes her own advice to take time out to relax, recharge and re-group in order to be ready for a brand new year full of challenges. She also encourages listeners to remember that it’s not a date on a calendar that will bring change. It’s setting goals, changing mindset and taking action towards achieving those goals, that will set you up for an amazing 2019. Happy Holidays, Boss Ladies! Catch up with you from January 2nd again.
Deborah shares 5 simple tips to empower and enable you to make better decisions on life and love. You can read the article for Women on Topp, here: https://www.womenontopp.com/how-to-make-better-decisions-in-life-and-love/
Deborah briefly explores our tendency to focus our energy on things we cannot control or change, instead of simply accepting these things for what they are. We should focus, instead, on our own attitudes and beliefs and how we respond to the things we cannot control. If you haven’t done it yet, download your free mini transformation workbook at www.deborahhartung.com. You can follow all of Deborah’s work online and on social media. Visit https://linktr.ee/Deborah.hartung.jhb
Kindness is not a weakness, especially not from a leadership perspective and especially not in our increasingly more disconnected world. Deborah invites you to lead by example and show more kindness, empathy and compassion - especially at work. Give public recognition for hard work and achievements and seek out opportunities to serve your community. It’s how we make the world a kinder, more human place.
Every 20 episodes or so, Deborah invites you to do a retrospective of what you have learned and to celebrate the changes you are making and the progress you have shown. During the past 20 episodes, we have covered some pretty BIG things and if you’ve downloaded your workbook from deborahhartung.com, you will have learned your personality type, identified your personal values and learned how to use the GROW coaching methodology to coach yourself and your colleagues. You’re doing great! Keep it up!
Nobody is sharing their failures and challenges on social media and this creates a false sense of ‘perfection’. Sharing your story with authentic vulnerability both inspires and empowers others and it helps you celebrate all you have overcome. Own your story and share it with others. Be proud of all you have overcome. You are amazing!
Integrity is one of the most important qualities that we as leaders can possess. In this episode, Deborah speaks about the importance of knowing your values and then actively living those - even if it makes you unpopular. Doing the right thing, being honest and trustworthy and being impeccable with your word, isn’t always easy, neither is taking the high road, especially not in our world of instant gratification. But it’s good for your soul and it’s great for your personal brand and your reputation as a a leader. Choose courage over comfort! Choose ‘right’ over ‘easy’.
Deborah explains how you can use the GROW coaching method to coach peers, friends and colleagues. You can even use the methodology to ‘coach’ yourself. Head on over to DeborahHartung.com and download the free mini transformation workbook on the GirlBossGuide Podcast page.
Learn to trust your sixth sense and align with your higher purpose, by trusting your intuition - that gut feeling that you get that something or someone is right for you or you should stay away from. To live a life aligned with your higher purpose, you need to connect with that inner voice that is your intuition. It’s never wrong!
If we want a different outcome in life, we need to start making different choices. In this episode, Deborah explains the importance of a ‘root cause analysis’ and asking ‘why’ when trying to understand how we landed up in a certain situation. Once we understand this better, we can examine the choices we made in getting to this point and we can then start working to make different choices that will get us a different result.
Women have a lot of pressure on them, especially during the holidays. The parties, the entertaining, the travel, the gifts and the dealing with people you can’t stand. Deborah shares her 4 top tips that she lives by, to get through the holidays like a Pro.
Deborah invites you to take stock of how we measure our success and asks whether we are truly living in integrity with our most authentic self and our values that we hold most dear. You can participate in the mini transformation exercise by downloading the free workbook on deborahhartung.com and completing the exercise relating to finding your own values.
Deborah explores the top 4 beliefs and behaviours that we have to challenge and change because these are holding us back. You can also read the article Deborah wrote for Women on Topp: 👇https://womenontopp.com/its-still-a-mans-world-for-as-long-as-women-allow-it/
Leaders are called upon to create more leaders. “Who dares to teach, must never cease to learn.” Deborah encourages you to focus on self awareness and to learn new skills and to share your learning with others. From 11/25 you can visit deborahhartung.com and access FREE self development resources and tips.
Self-awareness is a critical skill for anyone in leadership. Do you know your personality type? Are you able to recognize the types in others and adjust your communication and expectations, accordingly? Deborah shares a free resource you can use to learn your MBTI personality classification and how it explains your behaviour.
You’re so many different versions of ‘you’ for so many different people. When do you feel happiest and most like your true, authentic self? What brings you joy and makes your heart sing? Do more of that!
Are you so engrossed in your work or your social media feed, that you’re drowning out the sights and sounds of life? Deborah caught herself being agitated by the sounds of life and quickly realized that she needs to change that mindset and appreciate the sounds of life and be more present in each moment.
We are all so busy chasing our goals that we sometimes become impatient when things don’t work out exactly as we wanted them to. Have patience and trust that there is a bigger plan. You might not get what you want in life, but you will always get what you need!
Sometimes you’re physically ill or emotionally drained and feel like you can’t go on. Just do your best under the circumstances and focus on ‘progress’ over ‘perfection’. Don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself and just do your best!
Each phase in your life, will require a different version of you. Never stop learning or doing the work to become the woman you need to be in order to thrive during the next stage in your journey. Not everyone will understand your journey or support you - level up, anyway!
As a woman in leadership, your natural kindness and empathy is actually a superpower. It’s ok to lead with more ‘heart’ and to acknowledge your emotions and the feelings and needs that others have. But you need to establish healthy boundaries to ensure that people don’t take advantage of your kindness or mistake it for weakness. Deborah shares the top 3 lessons she has learned about being a kind bad-ass and setting healthy boundaries in her personal and professional life.
You will never speak to anyone as often as you speak to yourself. Learn how to speak to yourself more kindly and in a loving and respectful way that will increase your self-esteem. Stop being your own worst critic and being an enemy that breaks ‘you’ down and forces you to play small!
What if we recharged ourselves as often as we recharge our phones? Yu are not a smartphone with ‘low power mode’. You have a finite amount of time in this life and you have to find balance between work and life. It’s ok to take some time out to rest and recharge!
As much as we love social media and technology and the fact that it makes the world seem so much smaller and allows us to connect with new friends from around the world, social media can also be bad for us. Deborah shares 3 things to look out for.
As a woman in leadership, you spend a lot of time and energy helping others and dealing with other people’s problems. It’s mentally, emotionally and physically draining. Take some ME Time - even if it’s for 30 minutes a day - to connect with your true authentic self and to revitalize your soul. Deborah shares what her ME Time looks like and encourages you to figure out yours.
Welcome to the GirlBoss Guide Podcast, specifically for Ladies who Lead. Hosted by Deborah Hartung. Deborah is a Leadership & Culture Consultant, Coach, Writer and Keynote Speaker who works with women from around the world, encouraging and enabling them to be authentic leaders, aligned with their purpose. She writes for Lionesses of Africa, Future Females and Women on Topp and she shares her knowledge and her learnings in her articles and now, on this podcast.