#GrowNOW The Podcast
By Raluca Gomeaja
#GrowNOW The PodcastAug 17, 2020
S4 Episode 37: A broken relationship with our BFF
And what happens when the relationship with our best friend fails? how do we go about repairing it?
S4 Episode 36: Dealing with relations that don't work as well as before
People change and that is just one of the pillars of truth in anyone's life. A connection that you created with someone a long while back can feel different today because of this.
So today's question is how do we deal with any type of relationship in our life, that we still kinda appreciate but it somehow reached a point where it doesn't serve us any longer?
S4 Episode 35: And what if you are afraid to love again?
Sometimes the comfort of the things we know may feel secure, easy, safe in diferent ways and that keeps us from trying something new. No matter in what area of our life, the fear of new, of different, of "out of character" for us can also translate to stagnation and being stuck.
When we add fear to this combo and the pain of a heartbreak, well ... a big mountain to climb! So , how do we move past fear of falling in love again?
S4 Episode 34: How ready are you for new relationships?
The 5 closest relationships you have in your life affect you, sometimes in unseen ways. We can be influenced in our behavious, way of thinking, way of acting and so on. But it doesn't matter actually how you feel about these relationships, they still give a form of comfort, even when they might not be comfortable relationships.
But what if you started challenging the status quo?
S4 Episode 33: Spring cleaning in relationships
The reality of relationships is that we invest time, energy and feelings diferent when we are in the beginning of a new relationship or when we know we are closer to the end. We don't see the same opportunities and possibilities, right?
The arrival of spring is the perfect moment to take a closer look to what kind of relationships we keep close and to air them out a bit, see what kind of "stale" things come up.
S4 Episode 32: Apologizing from a man's perspective
Since spring has started a week ago, we might want to have the proverbial "spring cleaning" for our thoughts and behavious also. And we know that us women we tend to be more aware of the importance of this, but today's episode is about a man's perspective. And about how to go about apologizing, when ego and pride are hurt, and different interpretations of the same situation can happen.
Just as last week's episode, when we analyzed the same subject from the POV of a woman, this episode contains 5 questions that, we hope, can be good guidelines when we find ourselves in situations like this.
S4 Episode 31: A woman's perspective on apologies
The low energy moments that every woman experiences, sometimes can affect us to the point of transforming us, even just for brief short times, into a different person all together. We can blame it on the hormones or ever overwhelment, but it does happen to each and every one of us to have these mini-crisis.
And just as the song says " Sorry seems to be the hardest word" , especially when we have to address it to our significant other, because usually they are the ones on the receiving ends of our "punches" .
Keep listening to today's episode to find out the 5 steps on how to better understand and somewhat be better prepared for when we feel like giving teh whole world the proverbial middle finger.
S4 Episode 30: About efficient couple communication
When we take care of our own needs, and stilll be in a relationship, an annoying question can start to bother some of us: what do I need the other person for?
Or if/when we enter a relationship being convinced that we will be happier together, why does the other person not repond to all that we want? Do they really love us if they don't?
Ideally and more efficient it would be to focus on filling our own cup first but as equally important is to know how to communicate to our significant other our needs, desires and expectations.
Stay listening for the tips this episode has on how to communicate efficiently.
S4 Episode 29: The danger of idealization
It's easy to idealize something that we don't have, just because it look more appealing from where we are at the moment. The real question is how to enjoy more what we do have, while working on attracting that other situation that we perceive as an ideam for us.
S4 Episode 28: Can anyone be "the one" or truly there's only 1?
Today we will attemp to put emphasis on some evergreen questions:
* Do you believe truly that there is "the one" or anyone can become the one?
* Is the ideal partner a need or anyone can become an ideal partner?
* Does any relationship have the potential to become a divine, meant-to-be union or only selective few have the chance to experience that?
The answers are very important because based on the belief we start off with, will define an entire relationship and potentially miss on some important points along the way.
S4 Episode 27: Being right or being happy?
When you struggle with the idea of just wanting to be right, where is your focus? Is your focus on being happy or on being simply "right" in that situation?
Most of the time, in relationships, we keep going back to the same thinking patterns, that if only our partner would change X, Y, Z things would work out. Or we keep revisiting a conversation, analyzing what, how, when they said something and in doing so, we have endless conversations with ourselves , where we prove our point of being right.
But does that even bring us happiness, contentment or clarity in a relationship?
S4 Episode 26: Easy tips to recognize your own patterns
Following on last week's episode, today we shine a star on our own patterns and how to easily recognize them.
S4 Episode 25: The pattern’s influence on our life experience
We create the patterns in our life based on our day to day life experience, and in turn, the patters that we observe and develop influence our life experience and the way we perceive life and relationships. And the truth is that we create for ourselves some default reactions and responses based on our patterns, especially in negative situations, without assessing how well is going and we end up not challenging them anymore.
S4 Episode 24: How do you define friendships?
Friendships, by all accounts, are those relationships that tend to be the stable points in one’s life. We don’t choose family, but we are the ones that choose our friendships; lovers and life partners may come and go, but with friendships we tend to be consistent. But it all starts with our own definition and expectations of what a true friend is. Do they have to be loyal, trustworthy, honest and open, are these the qualities most people look for in long term friend? Or are these the signs of a conditional friendship?
S4 Episode 23: How to make things lighter in a relationship
We have the tendency to sometimes exaggerate the drama when it comes to things that bother us because at the ned of the day, they are OUR problems, and we have the illusion that everyone else’s are somehow less important, since they don’t affect us directly. After all, our brain is trained to give us safety, not happiness
To better understand and assimilate, here we have 5 practical steps to start making things lighter.
S4 Episode 22: Make it happen and make it lighter
Today we adress the theme of lightness, feeling light in communications, in how we relate to eachother and our main relationships.
S4 Episode 21: About conscious choices in relationships
On the topic of cheating, we add today another layer, that of conscious decisions, by taking a look at the before, during and after the situation and how rational are we when we are confronted with the decision making process.
Nobody conciously chooses pain, let's be honest. Yet, the greatest challenge , after getting cheated on, is to choose love again. Anyone who is in touch with their more sensitive side and want to find meaning in every experience, undestands that the toughest moments are the ones that shape you. And is exactly in these moments that we should remember to chose love and not get carried away by fear.
S4 Episode 20: Cheating…and now what?
Today’s episode is not a guide on how not to get cheated on ( and if someone tries to sell you that, you are being scammed ), but rather today we approach cheating with the notion that, unfortunately, it is part of life, part of our relationships. There is no guarantee that anyone can give us that we will not be cheated on and that, in turn, we will not cheat.
Actually, the notion of cheating is not the same for everyone, and the limit to which a person can consider that the partner has done something wrong is indeed subjective.
Today we will try to eat with the aftermath of cheating and how to try to make it as a couple after the fact.
S4 Episode 19: Freedom and responsability of choice
Hope everyone agrees with us, to start the year fresh, willing to assume the responsibility of our life and of our actions.
We finished the previous episode with the question: “What can we adapt into a relationship vs what are we willing to compromise in/for a relationship?”. And as we were mentioning, there is freedom in knowing the difference between adapting and compromising but we all know that the line between the 2 can get blurry and often, we take engagements or make promises that after a while seem to “inconvenience” us, even though at the time we agreed whole heartedly.
Find out more on the topic on today's episode
S4 Episode 18: Wishes fulfilled in the New Year
Happy New Year 2024 and may your relationships be fruitfull and blessed.
S4 Episode 17: Adapt vs compromise…on Christmas
The real contradiction in a family setting is that we love them with all our heart and that’s what makes us a bit more vulnerable, willing to tolerate more, even when that gets us to a point of irritation. The Christmas holidays sometimes come with a few tense moments and different expectations for everyone.
That's why we focused on today's episode on how to manage these holidays with the family, and still adapt to their needs while not feeling that you are not compromising too much and still being true to your needs, personal or business aspect.
S4 Episode 16: About responsability and freedom
Continuing on last week's discussion, today we adress the subject of responsability and freedom, and shed a light on the fine line between responsability and freedom.
S4 Episode 15: Freedom and relationships
Any relationship we have requires commitment and therefore, finding’s way to integrate the other person into the equation of out work life. Depending on the type of relationship we are looking at here, especially the romantic ones, we might feel sometimes that we have to chose between feeling free and being in a relationship, feeling connection and love. There are 2 essential values of life, after all. How are we suppose to chose? Are we suppose to chose? Find out in today’s episode.
S4 Episode 14: Th beauty of knowing what happened after
There is a saying “ When something feels sad when it ends, it must have felt pretty wonderful when it happened”. It is a beautiful way of looking at a sad situation and the discomfort it created after. Most of the time, we have a hard time understanding and letting relationships go, but as always, there is beauty in everything and it usually means that one thing ending just created space for something else to come into our life.
Today’s episode focused on a series of questions that we should ask and challenge ourselves with, realistically and straight forward, if we want to get a better grip on how to recognise the positive in any breakup.
S4 Episode 13: What to do when there’s no closure
Realistically speaking, the end of any relationship can become a breaking point in someone’s life, the “perfect” ground for trauma and limiting beliefs to set it. How amazing would it be if all of us , when faced with such moments and decisions, to be brave enough to give the other person the chance to have closure. It’s important when ending any type of relationship, be it work, love, friendship, etc, to put yourself in the other’s place and to offer an explanation, reason, an objective answer and civilised ending to that connection.
This being said, in this episode we will focus on the other aspect of these breakups, when we don’t get any closure and the way to navigate through life afterwards.
S4 Episode 12: When someone else ends our relationship Part 2
Through these 2 parts of the current topic, we want to point out that working on past relationships, not only will help us get rid of that bitter taste in our mouth, but also will help us face in a better way, any current breakups. We want to share with you 5 ideas to consider when you are dealing with a situation like this.
S4 Episode 11: When someone else ends our relationship Part 1
No matter if it’s a friend wanting to distance themselves, or a job relation, a loved one wanting to move on without us… when someone else is putting an end to a relation, if we are not first of all blindsided, we can experience anger, feeling “not good enough” and “it’s not fair” or even a numbness or shutting down . These are the most complete and painful endings, most of the time.
We know these are triggering topics for most of the people, because usually after this kind of separation, there is trauma and negative associations left behind. That’s why, the reason we approach these complex themes, and especially about past relationships, is to be able to rework those painful endings with today’s tools.
S4 Episode 10: 5 tips on how to end a relationship … the right way
Today we get to seek answers to a question that hunts most adults: how to end a relationship. But for that, we have to ask ourselves first: are we in a relationship that is worthy of our time and energy? It is fair and necessary to ask these questions when we are in a situation that has proved again and again to be uncomfortable or energy draining for us. And is good to have in mind that we are considering personal and professional relations here.
When we want to end a relationship in the most conscious way, there is a difference between deciding to end a relationship and actually going through with it. Here we are , to the rescue, with the 5 tips of the day that will guide you through, smoothly we would hope, to allow yourself to speak your truth.
S4 Episode 9: Applying the decision to keep and improve a relationship
We keep mentioning in the last episodes about making decisions in any relationship, the choices we have, what do we want to keep/improve and so on. But how do we go about really implementing all this? Because making the decision is only step 1, after this comes the “ living with it ” phase.
The most common phrase that we all use when i’s time to do what we decided, it’s “I wish I knew how to do that” . Is it maybe that we don’t acknowledge the benefits or the improvements at this moment, so we take comfort in excuses? We are here today with 5 useful tips that can set you on your path towards truly doing the work and making your decisions real, not just empty words.
S4 Episode 8: The decision tool of emotions
The last few episodes have been about decisions: why, when and what. Today we talk about the how? When the dynamic and the reality of a significant relationship has shifted, before we take steps towards breaking something that could be very difficult to restore, we will address in this episode the emotions decision tool and how to apply it . The 5 options that we have in any given moment in a relationship, can help us, hopefully, get some clarity about what will our next step be.
S4 Episode 7: What is a decision making sweet spot?
No matter how much love, respect, attraction and complicity exists in a couple, there is an almost definite possibility that they have faced difficulties at some point in their couple. The remarkable thing about people like that is that they didn’t give up too soon, they didn’t take the easy way out.
Last week’s episode we talked about the 5 options that we have in a relationship at any given moment. So when the time are getting hard ( lying, cheating, lack of attention, disrespect, etc ), how do we know which choice out of the 5 is the right one?
With the help of our 3 trusted friends: logic, emotion and intuition, we are equipped to safely and calmly reach the sweet spot of internal alignement and so, reaching a decision that will truly benefit us.
S4 Episode 6: The options we have in any relationship
Even the most perfect of relationships have some difficult moments that marked it along the way. And in this episode we refer to the true, deep, and often unconditional feelings that a love relationship can have. No matter how sincere and authentic the bond between 2 people can seem at a certain point, rest assured that challenges were present along the way.
People often think, when something negatively significant happens in a couple, that they have no choice. When in reality, in any given situation, there are always 5 available choices:
1. Accept the situation
2. Leave the relation
3. Change the relationship
4. Change the way we see the situation
5. We can do nothing
Did you ever feel like you have no choice in a relationship?
S4 Episode 5: 3 disciplines to better connect with others
Imagining that the key to having great relations and connections is our own energy, where can this lead us to?
We all want of that good life, happiness, sense of purpose and fulfilment and sometimes we don’t know how to get it, but most important how to keep it for long. That’s why this episode focuses on the 3 keys of feeling energised which eventually will help us establish better and more powerful connections.
S4 Episode 4: That one relationship you are happy about
One important tip to analyse if a relationship is going well: assess correctly the “ best case scenario “
2 questions to start this assessment: where are we at and what is the real issue here? We all know that if we look to other people, rather than ourselves, we can immediately tell what the issue is. That is why coaching and consulting is really helpful for many people.
More than sure there is one relationship right now in your life that works just the way it’s supposed to be. Have you ever wondered why?
S4 Episode 3: What keeps us from great relationships?
What is truly the advantage of improving any relationship? Since we decided to have a relationship in the first place, being it love, friends, work or family; why shouldn’t we try to give it our best after all?
The list of advantages is quite long. By having better relationships we could experience more peace, more confidence, more security, better results, joy, performance, etc.
And yet not all our relationships are satisfying. That’s why in this episode we go over those reasons that hold us back from going all in: vulnerability, overthinking, fear of being treated unjustly, fear of being judged, not wanting to get too emotional and a few more.
Are we giving up too soon on some relationships? Are we really doing the work to build healthy relationships?
S4 Episode 2: What relationship would you improve?
If you really take the time to analyse our patterns and behaviour in life, we will notice that most of the time we are more afraid of things we don’t know and things we never explore. That’s why is a good idea to train ourselves to make friends with the idea of the unknown, of all the changes are happening constantly around us.
Learning to be the one that takes the first step towards improving a relationship can be one of those things that we have a difficult time with. That’s why we are here today, to learn the advantages of improving ANY relationship, no matter how big or small.
S4 Episode 1: Working on your every relationship
The quality of our relationships determine the quality of our life, to a great extent.
If in the first 3 seasons of the Grow Now Podcast we focused mainly on the business side of connections and interactions, the time has come to take a deeper look at the second layer of our life foundation, the quality of the interconnections with just about everyone around us. While in the business world, we can have an extended network without deep personal connections, the success of our daily wellbeing depends also of the value we attach to every interaction.
In short, this new season strives to give every encounter in your life a new found worth and virtue. Through the power of love, care, connection and removing judgement and attachment, we grow and help others grow.
As the first stepping stone of this new season, we invite you to make an assessment of your happiness/quality regarding the connections you have with your family, friends, coworkers and your social life in general, as this will serve as a baseline to measure your future progress. Remember, we can only improve what gets measured.
This week’s question: Provided you could improve any relationship, would you do it? The answers to be interpreted in next week’s episode.
S3 Episode 146: Tips for your business during the summer break
We welcome the summer break with sweet and sour emotions as we will be closing the 3rd season of the podcast “ The Entrepreneurs Story” but… starting September we will be giving our full attention to the complicated, complex yet so vital topic of RELATIONSHIPS.
Today we would like to encourage you to take that well deserved break over the summer months, focus on relaxing and recharging your mental and emotional system, so that when September comes around, it finds you full of energy and vitality.
Stay safe and be well, dear listeners and friends.
S3 Episode 145: Dealing with business anxiety?
Anxiety is caused by the fear of the unknown and that is something most of us have a hard time dealing with.
The 2 main reasons why we have anxiety in the first place:
1. When we live in a future that is not as clear as we expected
2. When we generalise
Under these conditions, we sometimes create problems where there are none, or we have such a broad perspective over everything that we can’t see anything going right.We become detached from reality in a way.
That’s why this episode has 5 practical steps to stop overdramatising everything.
S3 Episode 144: How to turn a business around when it’s in trouble
Continuing on our last week’s episode “How to know when to stop your business”, today we address the next steps if you truly down’t want to give up on your business. Besides considering selling, getting outside help for a new strategy or just to keep continuing to hold on to the business as it is, there are other steps if the goal is to turn the business around.
One of the first things to do is always HONESTY. With yourself, with your figures, with looking at your business as if it belonged to someone else. That ’s the main crucial step.
Keep listening to today’s episode to find out the keys to turning your business around when it is in trouble.
S3 Episode 143: How to know when to stop your business
What to do when your business is not growing, when it doesn’t produce the expected results, not only financially but also in terms of customer satisfaction or personal fulfilment, etc?
Someone from outside has a clearer picture sometimes over your business, than you being in the middle of it all the time. What are really afraid of when deciding it’s time to move on? Is it the time invested, the idea of failure?
Find out in today’s episode
S3 Episode 142: About lifestyle and business ambitions
In today's episode we talk about how our business ambitions are influencing our decisions and lifestyle.
S3 Episode 141: Letting go of a client
As an entrepreneur, with an objective and pragmatic way of looking at our business results and figures, deciding when to let go of a client may not be the “safest” thing to do, it may seem at first. We create relationships and trust with our clients, there is almost an emotional side to every business connection we develop.
In today’s episode we cover the topic of when and how to know, almost for sure even if there isn’t such a thing anyway, that letting go of a client or a business contact, is the best decision after all.
S3 Episode 140: Friends vs clients in business
There are many examples of businesses where, because of the nature of the service provided, a sort of more sustainable and real connection can be experienced between the person providing the service and the client, a feeling of friendship even in some cases.
In personal coaching for example, we are taught in school not to work with friends and family, because in order for that to happen, both parties need to be able to detach. And usually, the person receiving the advice, will not be able to do so, because the friendship or familiarity will take over their feelings.
Toady’s episode explores the fine line between treating clients like friends and how that can backfire… eventually!
S3 Episode 139: About joy, stability and money
Every so often, we should audit ourselves and our business, by asking 2 very important questions:
1. What do I truly want ( expect ) from my business?
2. Why is that relevant for me?
And depending on your answers, the 3rd question will follow/:
3. How do I reach those things that are relevant for me?
The experience of working with entrepreneurs from all over the world, has showed us that usually the answers to the first question can be categorised into 3 directions :
* joy
** stability
*** money
Which one does stand our for you?
S3 Episode 138: The benefits of solving problems as they come
In business, as in life, not paying attention in resolving issues in they moment that arise, can result in those problems accumulating and growing over time. And sooner or later, they will catch up with us. Unfortunately, what was once a problem can become a real reason for concern, with costly repercussions.
What would make someone ignore issues to the point of no return?
Today’s episode hopes to bring some clarity on the subject and present some steps on how to prevent such situations.
S3 Episode 137: The perks of brands vs commodities
Aside from the financial aspect, how do you measure the success of a business? Would the personal branding be an important factor? If the way you see yourself and your success has improved, would you consider that an achievement?
Personal branding may be perceived as arrogance but it is just a way of respecting one’s work and time. After all, people make business with people, that is the driving force behind any company.
“Personal branding is not about you. It’s about putting your stamp on the value you deliver to others”
Today’s episode takes a look at 5 important questions that should put you on the path of seriously considering your important role in the image of your business, and remembering that if you are not a brand, you are a commodity. We didn’t say it, Robert Kiyosaki said it.
S3 Episode 136: Influence of personal relationships on business
Those business coaches that have been in the business for a while, are seeing a very definite pattern when it comes to the connection between the private life of the business owner and the business in itself. You would be surprised how much the clients talk about their spouses during a business coaching session. On one side it makes sense because is the most relevant, the most important relationship that one has. On the other hand , no matter how conscious one should be to separate their private life from business, one person cannot divide itself in 2 so eventually the both sides will overlaps. Sometimes in a positive way, sometimes not.
This episode focuses on a few key points on how to improve and find the right balance between the 2.
S3 Episode 135: About control and security in business
We have the tendency to turn into control freaks when we want things to turn out exactly how we want it. Most of us won’t even notice that about ourselves until someone points it out.
So what are the obvious signs of a “control freak”,of someone who wants to be in charge of every little detail of a situation?
1. They value safety more than anything else
2. They want to be right ; not only because they know better, but for the benefit of other involved
3. They are low risk takers
4. They try to make sure they win no matter what
5. They are always looking for the guarantees, to make sure that nothing can take them by surprise
How are these beneficial or not for your business, find out in today’s episode.
S3 Episode 134: Happiness challenge = joyful life
Any business owner knows that sometimes, the life outside of our business, can fall in a secondary position on our interest scale. That’s why is important to keep track of your priorities in all aspects of your life. When you like what you do, you could spend hours or days on it and not even realize what are important things in your life you are missing on.
As presented in our previous episode, a self- appointed happiness wellness-check in the form of a conscious challenge can help us with the life-work balance that so many of us miss these day. This episode wants to serve as a guidance on how to put together your own happiness challenge, that is relevant specifically for you.