Garret Talks To Himself

The Laziest Episode

An episode of Garret Talks To Himself

By Garret
A segmented podcast where Garret goes over anything and everything that comes to mind. He proposes rules the world should follow, talking points, and a few funny stories from the past. This show is primarily solo, but a few guests will show up, and you, the listener, are always welcome to submit audio clips in regards to the show, or any questions you may have for him!
More places to listen
A segmented podcast where Garret goes over anything and everything that comes to mind. He proposes rules the world should follow, talking points, and a few funny stories from the past. This show is primarily solo, but a few guests will show up, and you, the listener, are always welcome to submit audio clips in regards to the show, or any questions you may have for him!

More places to listen

Misfit Bits
Another episode of those one-off recordings that don't fit in the regular episodes, Garret has been holding on to these for too long.
November 20, 2019
Recycle Me!
Top o' the *INSERT TIME OF DAY HERE* to ye out in podcast land! Garret goes HAM on this one, and has a lot of points he wants - nay, NEEDS - your input on! Rule: Loose Pants Media: In the Tall Grass | The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening | Fitz & the Tantrums "All the Feels" Grievance: Foreign Kids' Shows Discuss: Death and Ashes Please check out Garret on these fine podcasts: Character Work | Hugo's Posts | Fryed Oreo | Nobody Asked You, Kevin! | The Matt Hocker Show Make sure to send Garret a voice message regarding any of the topics above, and if you want to record an episode, make sure to download the Anchor app from your phone's appropriate store, or simply by visiting
October 18, 2019
So So Suck My Toe
Hello and welcome to a new season of GTTH! Garret has figured out how to use his computer properly to record a delicious sounding episode, and he likes it enough to continue it for the time being! Media: Look Away Grievance: Golden Shower Discussion: Bagel Guy Rule: Apartment Etiquette Thank you for sticking with Garret throughout this fun journey, and please leave him a voice clip by visiting, and you can even record an episode with him! Twitter
September 23, 2019
The Laziest Episode
Garret takes a break from doing the regular show to post this lazy show. He features two audio clips that were SENT IN FROM LISTENERS! He's very sorry about this one, and knows the next episode will be much better. Character Work The Matt Hocker Show Nobody Asked You, Kevin! Twitter
September 23, 2019
Garret Talks to A Friend! "Cold Knocking!"
Another episode, and a returning Guest! Garret talks to a good friend from his school days, and they discuss music and bring up some memories they share, and even some they don't! Follow Garret on Twitter @gtthpod, and be a part of the show by going to and either send him a message or record an episode!
August 26, 2019
Worst Song of our Generation
Join Garret on a road trip of a lifetime with this continental podcast. What does that even mean?! Garret discusses a lot of trendy things like Ice Cream licking, Old Town Road. He tries Uber Eats for the first time, and watches The Thing for the first time (mostly). Packed to the brim, and one that definitely needs some conversation back. Go to to send Garret messages about the topics, and if you want to record an episode, he'd love that as well! Nobody Asked You, Kevin! - The Matt Hocker Show - Reid Messerschmidt Gets Metal With Robert Piller - The Irrationally Exuberant -
July 12, 2019
Take A Sleep
What's up, dawg? Remember when we called each other nicknames? What a world! Garret despises indoor sunglasses and Iron Man 2. He also is bad with directions, and has a new life to take care of! Such an exciting episode, its a miracle it fit into one. Nobody Asked You, Kevin! - Thank you for listening!
June 28, 2019
Tighten Up!
As DJ Khaled says all the GD time, here's "another one" for you fine folk. Garret has a quick rule about running, and then talks about The Shining! He wants to hear from you about school and the lunches they serve, and has a problem with marathons. Please subscribe to this show on your favorite podcast app, and please share it with your friends! Download Anchor from the app store and interact with the show at kthxbye
June 11, 2019
She's the Luigi to my Mario
Another one? Seriously? Well it's here, regardless. Game of Thrones fans are the worst, and so are guys who say "old lady." Sonic's new movie is torn apart, and Garret HATES when technology doesn't work. Obviously. Download Anchor and be a part of the show! Subscribe wherever you check out podcasts, and tell a friend about this lil' show.
May 27, 2019
Thanos is Farmin' and Chillin'
New episode, ya freaks. Garret whines a lot right away, then brings up Clean Up Week and his daughter's Soccer team. He also goes through Avengers: Endgame, so be wary at the end. Some singing as well! Subscribe on your podcast platform of choice. Download Anchor and be part of the show. Comics In Motion podcast, thanks for the promo swap! Check them out where you get this one!
May 9, 2019
Rucka Sucka Ali
Ladies and gentlemen, you can calm your anxieties! A new GTTH is thrust upon you!  Garret digs at the elderly (again) with a new rule for you. He also takes a moment to give a life update, so you should share your life with him as well. He also grieves about the Post Office, which is obvious.  Finally, he discusses the Netflix movie "The Basement," so watch it first, then come back to see if your feelings match his. There's also some singing since everyone enjoyed that last time. Subscribe wherever you get your Podcast fix, and download the Anchor app to participate in the show with a voice clip or an episode!
April 26, 2019
Head-Smashing Rock
Welcome one and all! Garret brings another classic GTTH episode to your earholes. He speaks about how he was injured as a kid. He also lays a rule down about how to use your phone PROPERLY while driving. He grieves about a recent theater experience, and introduces a new segment about all things media related! Will this show ever make sense?! Subscribe, and download Anchor to interact with the show, and follow Garret on Twitter @gtthpod to be BFFs.
April 10, 2019
According to John Mayer...
Welcome one and all! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood! So, why not add some of this delightful audio to it? Garret wants everyone to use a turn signal, and urges you to not be a boring person in conversation. And hey, if ya gotta fart, do it. Just don't make a spectacle of it. Please follow @gtthpod on Twitter, and download Anchor and be a guest on the show! Please check out Dregs of Craigs, found wherever you listen to this show
April 1, 2019
Leave a Casket Down There!
Episode 33 - the age of our imaginary Lord and Savior. And the best episode to date (not really) Garret goes off on Country music (OBVIOUSLY), loses his mind over our species' origins, and provides a rule about grammar. OH BOY, what a content-filled episode! Please follow Garret on Twitter @gtthpod and be BFFs with him. You can also download @Anchor on your smartphone and be even more BFFs with him; you can even record an episode together! WHAT?!
March 25, 2019
Episode 32 - Tirades & Turn Signals
Wham-Bam Thank Ya Ma'am! Garret is angry here, so BE WARNED! Problems with both work and residency are the main issues here, then he goes on a weird stream of consciousness talking about all sorts of things. A rule about sleep is thrown in there, too. Please follow Garret on Twitter @gtthpod. Garret is always looking for some friends on the show, so download @anchor and follow him there, and send a voice clip while you are at it. You can also record a show with him and have all sorts of fun!
March 15, 2019
Episode 31 - Cheeky Monkey
Look what the cat dragged in! A dead bird? No, a fresh episode of the podcast, you silly salamander! Garret gets right into it with a very important Rule, gets mad at other people's work, and then talks about his daughter's school performance. BUT WAIT! Just when you thought the episode was over, a very famous guest pops in for a bit to spread some knowledge?! How did he book this guy?! Please share the show with a friend or more, and follow @gtthpod on Twitter for all sorts of funny business.
March 1, 2019
Episode 30 - Parking Lots?
Huzzah! Garret has brought forth an episode to please thine ears. Rejoice as he presents a parking lot Rule, sort of Discusses music, and Airs a Grievance about death (also involving parking lots). Plus, his friend Green drops another audio nugget on ya! Shout out to Reid Messerschmidt from both "The Irrationally Exhuberant" and "Reid Messerschmidt Gets Metal With Robert Piller." Both are amazing podcasts and available where you are hearing this one! Show him some love for the new intro to the AoG. Please let Garret know how you feel about the show, follow on Twitter @gtthpod, and share the show with your friends!
February 15, 2019
Episode 29 - Why can't I own Canadians?!
It's here - the first official "Garret Talks to a Friend!" Green, a childhood friend, joins Garret on this beta bit and chats about growing up. They discuss pranks, teachers, friends, and a few other hot topics! (Please bear with the audio, as this was completely done in Anchor) If you'd like to follow Green on Twitter, hit up @TheRealFreeHat! The podcast also has a new Twitter, which is @gtthpod! Please subscribe and share the show, and also get in touch with Garret to be on the show. He really liked doing this and wants even more fun people!
January 23, 2019
Episode 28 - Hashtag Relevant
Ooowee! Garret speaks out about check writers and how dated the practice is. He also discovered a long-lost segment regarding a cartoon character, and finishes up talking about #BirdBox on #Netflix! An old friend of his also left a message, and it's not the last we'll hear from him! Subscribe, rate, and share the show! Follow on Twitter @eldoterrag for both shenanigans and tomfoolery!
January 14, 2019
Episode 27 - Reformatted
Welcome to the newish "Garret Talks to Himself!" With more of a format, Garret thinks he can gather more of a following and have people help out with the questions he has. So a Discussion, a Grievance, a few fun stories, and - WHAT - a listener comment?! The first one! Subscribe in your favorite app, share the show, and get back to Garret through Twitter (@eldoterrag). Or better yet, download Anchor and send an audio clip!
December 28, 2018
Episode 26 - For the Times...
Garret describes his life with lice followed by a Walmart story. He introduces a new segment called "The Airing of Grievances," which is ultimately not any different than the regular segments of the show. Also discussed is the PC culture attacking Rudolph, scary children, and an update to THIS VERY PODCAST. Please follow your host on Twitter @eldoterrag and tell him what you think about the show. He's thirsty for criticism!
December 17, 2018
Episode 25 - Bigger Longer and Uncut
Wowee! Garret talks about stereotypes and being sick. He also shares yet another Walmart story, a story about his night in a pool hall, how bad he was in band, and finishes the episode up with a few monologues he found online. Find Garret on Twitter @eldoterrag and tell him just how amazing this show is. Please?
November 30, 2018
Episode 24 - SORRY
Garret really lost his mind on this one. He discusses a scary movie, goes off on a sleep-deprived rant (SORRY), impersonates Donald Trump (SORRY), fails at creating a monologue (SORRY), goes off on a work conversation, and finishes off with a memory from his childhood involving rental stores. It's mostly a bad episode. Please follow on Twitter @eldoterrag and tell him how bad it truly was. Or if you enjoyed it. Or if you listened. He just needs someone to say something about the show!
November 11, 2018
Episode 23 - Big E Smalls
Garret confesses to stealing! He also admits to following trends, wearing dumb shirts, how dumb his childhood was (a recurring theme), donating plasma, and touches on some Halloween memories. What an episode! Please follow on Twitter @eldoterrag and let him know what you think about his show! He's lonely! He should stop talking now! (Also subscribe and share)
October 25, 2018
Episode 22 - Tumblr Posts Part 1
On this episode, Garret digs through his old Tumblr posts! The Cringe is real here! (Also sorry for the dead air). Please subscribe and share this little show o' mine. Follow on Twitter @eldoterrag for more stupidity.
October 3, 2018
Episode 21 - Imitation is Flattery
Garret Discusses Jurassic Park: Fallen Kingdom (sort of), a stupid young rapper, and finishes it up going back to his childhood and girls he liked! Subscribe, and share this show with your friends! Follow @eldoterrag on Twitter to find even more stupidity.
September 29, 2018
Episode 20 - The Flip-Flop Episode
Garret can't settle in these blurbs about preschool cardboard bricks, being scarred for life in a movie theater, his admiration for Eminem, worship times in churches, hating smoking, and how a school bus conjured up a sad memory. He also can't decide if he wants to do a podcast still. What a weird one! Follow on Twitter: @eldoterrag and message him. Download the Anchor app and join in the conversation. Let's have some fun!
September 18, 2018
Episode 19 - This Is Yet Another Episode
Garret talks about his childhood dreams, the movie Hereditary, yet another crazy Walmart story, and how some music makes him mad! Subscribe on your favorite platform for podcasts, follow on Twitter: @eldoterrag and let's get jiggy!
September 3, 2018
Episode 18 - Hard R Episode!
Garret earns that Explicit rating with this one! He brings up how a movie ruined his day, porn, paying for online game services, and a sad gathering of frogs. Thank you for listening to my show! Please follow me on Twitter: @eldoterrag and share the show with people who are as damaged as I am!
August 30, 2018
Episode 17 - Lil' Bit a Errthing
Garret goes over his road rules, parents who suck at parenting, the English language, and a deep personal story. Follow Garret on Twitter: @eldoterrag and share the podcast with your friends! Thank you for listening
August 13, 2018
Episode 16 - Randumb! The Sequel!
Garret discusses needing to pee at a concert, why coffee isn't available early, kids being wimpy, and how he was a dumb, dumb kid. Subscribe in your favorite Podcast app, share the show, and feel free to get @ me on Twitter! Twitter: @eldoterrag
July 25, 2018
Episode 15 - The Fruitcake of Episodes!
Garret is mad about customer service, being disrespectful, and pooping!
July 9, 2018
Episode 14 - Randumb
Garret talks about Walmart Stereotypes, weddings, and lazy bike riders!
June 27, 2018
Episode 13 - Guitar Zero
Garret discusses his reign at Guitar Hero and how Facebook is stalking you! A short episode due to phone issues!
June 7, 2018
Episode 12 - The Smorgasbord!
Garret discusses how children refuse sleep, how he's lame as a man, and how radio commercials are just bad.
June 1, 2018
Episode 11 - Graduation
Garret talks about how kids don't need to graduate, and shares his thanks for those tuning in!
May 22, 2018
Episode 10 - Missing Children
Garret talks about kids running away, the creeps who do bad things to kids, and how he acted in stores as a child.
May 21, 2018
Episode 9 - Childhood
Garret gets deep as he revisits some moments from his childhood.
May 17, 2018
Episode 8 - Nightmare
Garret talks about Crimson Peak, Guillermo del Toro, and a horrifying nightmare.
May 16, 2018
Episode 7 - Allergic to Love
Garret discusses his hatred for allergies, his winter time fun, and his school crush!
May 15, 2018
Episode 6 - Hey Brother
Garret talks about his family and being protective
May 2, 2018
Episode 5 - Fast and Oh So Furious
Garret doesn't like cars with spoilers on them
April 1, 2018
Episode 4 - Can You Take Me High Enough
Garret talks about singing in the car and how he takes it to the next level!
March 30, 2018
Episode 3 - HUH?!
Garret vents about his loud child coworker and how churches don't help
March 29, 2018
Episode 2 - Garret, Interrupted
A co-worker has issues with how to talk like a human
March 28, 2018
Episode 1 - Hot For Teacher
Garret spills his feelings for a teacher, talks about eradicating lice, and how awesome his wife is
March 28, 2018
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