Parenting tips with Dr. Hal Herd

In this episode, Dr. Hal Herd talks about lifestyle for health in children and adolescents. 

Warren Buffett (one of the richest men in America) told a story in a speech to a business school but the story was not about business. The story goes like this: Pretend you are a 16-year-old boy and you just found an urn, rubbed it, and a genie popped out. The genie said you could have one wish and being a 16-year-old boy you wanted a fancy car. The genie said that your wish would be granted but with one catch. This is the only car you will ever get so you must take care of it. You understand the terms and ask for a Ferrari and poof it appears. Since you cannot have another car you are obsessive about taking care of the car. You wash it 3 times per week, wax it regularly, change the oil every 2000 miles, keep it in a garage when not in use, and perform regular maintenance on time or early. The reason for the obsessive care is this is the only car you will ever get. Warren Buffett is using an analogy, this car is your magnificent human body. It needs excellent care and maintenance because it is the only body you will ever get.

In order to take care of your body you need a healthy lifestyle. This can be divided into 3 parts: 1. What you eat. 2. What you do and 3. What makes you happy.

References:

In this episode, Dr. Hal Herd discusses how to guide your children to navigate social interactions. 

Navigating Social Interaction in Adolescence.

The adolescent strives to become an independent adult. In so doing she separates herself from her parents and depends on peers for influence. She actually may rebel against her parents and become very oppositional. Parents may be very unhappy with this change in their child and take it personally. They need to understand that this is a natural phase in the life of their child and is universal.

I discuss and make recommendations on this difficult time in your child’s life.

References:

In this episode, Dr. Hal Herd discusses age-appropriate teaching about sexuality to your children. 

A good knowledge of sexuality for your pubertal adolescent is important. Sexuality is best taught by a parent, not by school or peers. Teach sexuality and don’t make it a taboo subject. Teach age-specific information. Don’t give 4-year-old details of sexual intercourse. In today’s world, most children by age 8 know how babies occur. Tell them what is age appropriate so that they will understand. Let your child ask questions. You need to be the source of information on sexuality, not peers. If you don’t know the answer, delay and find it out. It is OK to not know everything. When the child is old enough, after puberty, teach as much as you know. Read or listen to books to increase your knowledge. Always emphasize the relationship of sexual intercourse with love and intimacy with another human being. Instruct your adolescent on how powerful the sex urge is for both boys and girls. Counteract the movie industry’s representation and the music industry’s representation of sex without love. Sex always has consequences for one or both participants, including emotional trauma, venereal disease, and unwanted pregnancy. Adolescents are influenced by movies and music (listen to the lyrics of the music they listen to). Some adolescents think that oral sex is without consequences but they are wrong. There are emotional consequences and exposure to venereal disease.

I tackle several other topics related to sexuality.

References:

In this episode, Dr. Hal Herd discusses substance use disorders in children and teens. Substance use disorder is a mental health condition in which kids or teenagers use drugs or alcohol in unhealthy ways. Drug use among youth https://drugabusestatistics.org/teen-drug-use/

Misuse of drugs in our society is a complicated and difficult problem with 91,799 deaths from misusing drugs in 2020 (CDC statistics). The people who do not misuse drugs try to help those abusing drugs. Intellectualizing with the victim usually will not work. Certainly, a user of drugs does tremendous harm to himself. However, the individual who is addicted does not usually respond to intellectual arguments. The user must change his habits voluntarily so that the reptilian part of his brain (that has no thinking capability) quits making dopamine with drug use and forms new habits. There should not be any coercion to change behavior. Persuasion is OK but avoid coercion. Coercion will not usually bring lasting correction of drug abuse.

Johann Hari’s book Lost Connections links drug abuse to the lack of a good relationship with family and friends. Thus the importance of having a loving family and lots of real friends.

The podcast reflects my ideas and the ideas I have read on the subject of substance use disorder.

References:

In this episode, Dr. Hal Herd shares personal tips on teaching your kids money management for a successful future. 

Money management is important to an unmarried individual but is also very important for married couples, so they can agree and not argue over money. Arguments over money are common and can lead to divorce. Money management is usually not taught in school and if not taught by parents can be part of an individual or couple’s ignorance.

Everyone wants to have financial success in life and no one wants to worry about money. Financial success in life is very dependent on money management. Many young people think that one must have a high salary, inherit money, or win the lottery to become wealthy. This is not true. It’s not how much you make but what you do with what you make. High-income people get into trouble due to poor money management skills. Think professional athletes or lottery winners. Even though they have a lot of money to manage if they don’t do the right things they can go broke. There is no amount of money that you can’t spend more than.

In the podcast, I explain how to manage money so that you do not focus on accumulating money.

References:

In this episode, Dr. Hal Herd discusses unintentional injuries in children and how to prevent them.

I cover some of the unintentional injuries in children: fire injury, airway blockage, drowning, physical injuries at home and away from home, poisoning, violence, sexual violence, firearm injuries, alcohol abuse, nicotine abuse, other drug abuse, vehicular injuries, head and spine injuries, and suicide. All the strategies are my ideas that I have learned from reading or experience as a pediatrician or a parent.

References:

In this podcast, Dr. Hal Herd discusses obesity in pediatrics. 

As a pediatrician, I have always been interested in the health of my patients. In the mid-1990 I noticed an increase in children (patients) being overweight. I did not know the causes but I had a concern. As years went by I noticed that the problem of being overweight got worse. In 2002 I embarked on a presentation for parents and started a research project on overweight children. The research project and the presentations were abandoned in 2005 due to a change in office personnel such that I did not have the helper that I needed.

Weight control is important at any age but good habits are best started in early childhood. My recommendations are in the podcast.

References:

Hello, my name is Hal Herd. I have been a pediatrician for the past 46 years, I have 3 grown daughters and 5 grandchildren. I've started my own pediatric practice in 1974, and throughout my years in practice, I can say that I've seen all the struggles of parenting.  In my podcast, I am discussing a crucial topic of parenting. Welcome to Part 6.

Below are references and books to continue your growth as a parent.

Hello, my name is Hal Herd. I have been a pediatrician for the past 46 years, I have 3 grown daughters and 5 grandchildren. I've started my own pediatric practice in 1974, and throughout my years in practice, I can say that I've seen all the struggles of parenting.  In my podcast, I am discussing a crucial topic of parenting. Welcome to Part 5.

Below are references and books to continue your growth as a parent.

Hello, my name is Hal Herd. I have been a pediatrician for the past 46 years, I have 3 grown daughters and 5 grandchildren. I started my own pediatric practice in 1974, and throughout my years in practice, I can say that I've seen all the struggles of parenting.  In my podcast, I am discussing a crucial topic of parenting. Welcome to Part 4.

Continuation of tips for goal 1, Develop Character

Tip 5: Teach Your Child How to Have lots of friends

Tip 6: Have a great and loving relationship with your child

Goal 2 and tips: Establish A Work Ethic and Financial Self-Reliance

Tip 1: Teach your child to seek meaningful work and financial success

Tip 2: Teach your child to avoid becoming a parent until married and financially successful

Below are references and books to continue your growth as a parent.

Hello, my name is Hal Herd. I have been a pediatrician for the past 46 years, I have 3 grown daughters and 5 grandchildren. I've started my own pediatric practice in 1974, and throughout my years in practice, I can say that I've seen all the struggles of parenting.  In my podcast, I am discussing a crucial topic of parenting. Welcome to Part 3.

Below are references and books to continue your growth as a parent.

Hello, my name is Hal Herd. I have been a pediatrician for the past 46 years, I have 3 grown daughters and 5 grandchildren. I started my own pediatric practice in 1974, and throughout my years in practice, I can say that I've seen all the struggles of parenting.  In my podcast, I am discussing a crucial topic of parenting. Welcome to Part 2.

Tips continue:

Tip 5, Rules and boundaries for your child are necessary. Don’t be a “buddy” to your child and have no rules. Your child will not thrive. Enforce the rules in a consistent manner. Use natural consequences whenever possible.

Tip 6, Make mealtime a happy time, don’t try to make your child eat.

Tip 7, Show unconditional love for your child. Emphasize effort, not an accomplishment.

Tip 8, Don’t be overprotective, don’t be a helicopter parent. Encourage your child to overcome obstacles on his own and to make decisions on his own.

Tip 9, As a parent, you can help your child overcome obstacles by listening to him with empathy. Then give him the responsibility to overcome the obstacles.

Tip 10, Today’s father needs to do a lot more in parenting than just delegate the job to the mother.

Below are references and books to continue your growth as a parent.

Hello, my name is Hal Herd. I have been a pediatrician for the past 46 years, I have 3 grown daughters and 5 grandchildren. I've started my own pediatric practice in 1974, and throughout my years in practice, I can say that I've seen all the struggles of parenting.  In my podcast, I am discussing a crucial topic of parenting.

Introduction to the podcast Podcast disclaimer Dr. Herd’s qualifications The goal is to teach a person to become a great parent, not just an adequate parent. When taking our first daughter home after her birth, my wife and I were very ignorant. Our nurse from the hospital was not any help, she just said “Goodbye and good luck.” Where was the manual? Parenting used to be easier, the world has changed and change is accelerating. Parenting is the hardest job there is and the most important job there is. Parental privilege is the advantage in life that a child has if he/she has great parents. I share important parenting tips that I recommend: Tip 1, In parenting, you should take care of yourself first and then your child. A tired or sick parent is not likely to be a GREAT parent. Tip 2, Be a great leader for your child, show confidence like an officer leading troops into battle. Tip 3, BE A ROLE MODEL and set the example that you want your child to follow. Tip 4, Discuss your parenting approach with your spouse and compromise if you can’t completely agree.

Below are references and books to continue your growth as a parent.