Self Love Actually

This week’s final episode is a recap of season one. Hailey defines a few common themes throughout season one and wraps it all up for us. There are several revelations that come through and it’s an episode you don't want to miss.

Keep in touch with Hailey on Instagram @iamhaileycurtis and also subscribe to her YouTube channel, Hailey Curtis.

If you enjoyed this season, please share it with a friend! We need to spark more conversations around self love. Sending an episode to a friend is the perfect way to do just that.

Make sure to leave a review so more like minded people can find this podcast.

QUOTES

“We need to know that it’s okay to express ourselves. Our inner child literally needs us to express ourselves.” [5:10] – Hailey Curtis

“It’s a matter of you getting to choose what you want to unlearn in order to live in that authentic self you were born to live in.” [6:10] – Hailey Curtis

“We need to break out of our shell that we were conditioned to live inside of. We have to honor those needs. We have to take the action in order to get back our truth.” [7:22] – Hailey Curtis

“Advocating [for yourself] is so important because if you’re able to follow through with the actions you want and tell yourself you're going to do, you’re going to start building that trust for yourself. You’re going to get a lot more confident with taking action on advocating for yourself.” [14:39] – Hailey Curtis

“I believe as we grew older we just grew apart from ourselves. Our social and cultural norms and learned behavioral patterns just put a divide between ourselves.” [16:53] – Hailey Curtis

“I think we grew apart from ourselves in a way. That’s why it's so important for us to take that time to check in, to pause, and invest that time into ourselves in order to get back to that same self love that we were born with.” [17:36] – Hailey Curtis

This week’s episode is about the inner child. We simply cannot achieve that deep, genuine self love without incorporating our inner child. Special guest, Mercedes Otano, shares with us what the inner child is and why it’s so important to connect with them every day.

Mercedes is a psychic medium, spirit led life coach, shamanic healer, and inner child specialist. She helps her clients move through the wounded inner child so they’re able to reclaim the love they were born with for themselves.

Make sure to follow Mercedes on Instagram @mercedeso and on Tiktok @Mersaydeso. Be on the lookout for her upcoming podcast called Pole to Soul. If you’re interested in working with Mercedes, you can book a consultation call at her website soulobymercedeso.com.

QUOTES

“When we’re learning to reaccess our truth, it's reconnecting with the part of our inner child that needs to be celebrated and still has that innocence and still has that joy. It’s our truth.” [4:40] – Mercedes Otano

“If we don't nurture our inner child, we could never be in the space of fully loving all of ourselves.”  [9:50] – Mercedes Otano

“We’re so conditioned to think that love needs to come from outside of us when we don't even realize we are love incarnate…when we can reaccess this energy, we can understand that the love we are seeking, the praise, the validation, the everything we are seeking, it already lives within us. I don't think you can fully love yourself without accessing this part.” [12:57] – Mercedes Otano

“Remembrance is remembering you don't have to fall victim to your experience. You get to heal it. You get to understand it. You get to move through it. You get to validate her [the inner child] so you can choose the consciousness that's going to empower you.” [19:21] – Mercedes Otano

“It becomes an unpopular opinion to say the inner child is connected to your sexual energy but if you think about it, when i connect to my inner child, I feel joy, pleasure. Sexual energy doesnt need to be this dark thing…all it is is pleasure and I deserve to feel pleasure.” [21:30] – Mercedes Otano

“Surrendering to the experience is probably one of the biggest acts of self love we can give ourselves…I don't need to control this. I just need to allow this and I get to learn from it.” [25:45] – Mercedes Otano

If you enjoyed this episode, please spread the love! Share it with a friend and leave a review so more people can find Self Love Actually.

TW: this episode has discussions around suicide and depression. If those topics typically cause you distress, you may want to skip this episode.

This week’s episode is about self acceptance. Self love cannot be achieved without self acceptance. Special guest, Farrah Reyna, shares with us the key to self acceptance through sharing her personal journey.

Farrah is a certified professional coach and communication expert. She helps her clients improve their personal and professional lives through development coaching.

Make sure to follow Farrah on Instagram @farrahreyna and check out her podcast called Live Worthy Life Lessons .

Suicide Prevention Crisis Lines:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a Crisis Counselor

Both resources are free and offer confidential support 24/7 anywhere in the United States.

Additional resources for suicide prevention:

This week’s episode is about sleep. Special guest, Kelly Murray, shares her expert opinion about how much sleep we should be getting every night, her thoughts on sleep aid and how to improve getting a good night of sleep. Kelly talks about the importance of setting boundaries around sleep and how sleep plays a big role in our mental and physical health.

Kelly is an Adult Sleep Coach and Child Sleep Consultant who helps you find your hidden mental and physical stressors so you can get back to sleep.

Make sure to follow both of Kelly’s accounts on Instagram @kellymurrayadultsleep and @kellymurraysleep. Check out her website kellymurrayadultsleep.com and subscribe to her newsletter for a guide to help with night wakings.

QUOTES

“The problem with sleeping pills, they can be effective, but they’re sedatives. So the sleep you’re getting isn't natural sleep. You’re not going to wake up feeling refreshed like you would if you were sleeping naturally.” [13:53] – Kelly Murray

“The key to make sure that your body is producing melatonin when it should is to wake up and go to bed at the same time every day, even on the weekends...also making sure you’re avoiding blue light before you go to bed for at least an hour.” [15:05] – Kelly Murray

“If you take it [melatonin] long term, your body may stop producing enough naturally.” [16:55]  – Kelly Murray

“If you’re not sleeping well, that is a red flag that there is something going on mentally or physically or both that is causing your sleep issues.” [17:57] – Kelly Murray

“Whenever we are stressed, our body produces cortisol because our body thinks there is danger and it wants to have energy to flee the danger. The excessive cortisol that you’re producing during the day is still going to be there at night and that can cause sleep issues. Make sure you’re taking breaks throughout the day.” [20:15] – Kelly Murray

If you enjoyed this episode, please spread the love! Share it with a friend and leave a review so more people can find Self Love Actually.

This week’s episode is about self worth. Special guest, Larisa Dalton, shares with us that we are born with self worth and it never leaves us. We’ve just been taught to unlearn that we are worthy. Larisa shares advice and tips on how we can truly start to rediscover our worth.

Larisa is a certified confidence coach who helps women overcome self-doubt and empowers them to accomplish their goals.

Make sure to follow Larisa on Instagram @larisa_dalton and check out her website larisadalton.com. Larisa has her own podcast called Diaries of a Life Coach. Make sure to check it out after this episode!

QUOTES

“Confidence refers to a belief in a person’s ability. It’s related to competency and self efficacy. As your competence increases, your confidence increases.” [5:10] – Larisa Dalton

“The problem with confidence is that if we base feelings of worth on competence and achievement, we fail…there is no worth. Worth on the other hand is your spiritual chords, like your spirit. When you are born, you are born with it. You are born worthy.” [5:35] – Larisa Dalton

“Worth is more of an intellectual thing. You have to just believe that you’re born and you’re borth with worth. And it's hard but affirmations can be a very powerful tool in building that belief. It’s that spirit. It’s that liveliness in us that makes us worthy.” [7:09] – Larisa Dalton

“I think of worth as a seed. You are born with all the potential. So when I look at self esteem, I look at it in three components: your worth, your love and development. That makes up your self esteem….that really is in this analogy is the soil. You take that seed and you plant it in the soil. The development part, the third component, is the fruit. The fruit reflects what was inside that seed or reflects our worth.” [9:11] – Larisa Dalton

“If you don't see yourself as valuable, as deserving, as important, why would you love yourself?” [15:57] – Larisa Dalton

If you enjoyed this episode, please spread the love! Share it with a friend and leave a review so more people can find Self Love Actually.

Episode five is about self compassion. Our host, Hailey Curtis, gets into what self compassion is and isn't. Self compassion is not feeling sorry for yourself or just being nicer to yourself. Turns out it is WAY more than that. Like most acts of self love, self compassion is a practice and requires you to intentionally implement it into your life.

A lot of information from this episode is sourced from the self compassion queen, Dr. Kristin Neff. Below are a few resources that are mentioned during this episode.

This week’s episode is about boundaries. Setting boundaries help others learn how we expect to be treated. Not setting those boundaries can be detrimental to our self love journey because we abandon our needs.

Today’s guest, Amy Fiedler, is an expert on boundaries. Amy is a three time published author of personal development books. She holds professional certifications as a holistic life coach, reiki master practitioner, ordained minister and trauma support specialist.

Give Amy a follow on Instagram @amythelifecoach and check out her website amyfiedler.com. Amy has her own podcast called Connect the Dots B*tch. Make sure to check it out after this episode!

QUOTES

“Giving them directions on how we need to be treated is really what a boundary is.” [3:10] –Amy Fiedler

“An indicator that a boundary needs to be set is that you are feeling annoyed, you are feeling disrespected, you are feeling irritated, frustrated…any type of negative emotion in an interaction with another person or in an environment you’re in.” [3:59] –Amy Fiedler

“If you’re feeling annoyed by something…you’re avoiding something.” [4:17] –Amy Fiedler

“Negative emotions will provide you the guidance in where a boundary needs to be set.” [4:46] –Amy Fiedler

“You have to own your emotions. And owning your emotions is you saying ‘I’m feeling anxious right now and it would be helpful if you spoke to me this way instead.’” [6:45] –Amy Fielder

“Boundaries are with you forever in these relationships. They’re probably going to evolve over time. And so as you grow, and you mature, and you learn new ways to communicate, things or your needs change. You’re going to have to communicate these. The willingness to communicate, the willingness to ask for what you need is really important as well.” [10:53] –Amy Fiedler

“If we don’t set those boundaries what happens is we abandon our needs. We abandon our wants. We abandon the things we value. And we send ourselves a message of self neglect. In order to love ourselves, we need to listen to ourselves and then we need to respect ourselves enough to advocate for what we’re needing and wanting.” [11:20] –Amy Fiedler

If you enjoyed this episode, please spread the love! Share it with a friend and leave a review so more people can find Self Love Actually.

This week’s episode is about toxic relationships. Special guest, Taylor Chandler, talks about toxic relationships and love cycles. We talk about how to identify a toxic relationship and what to do about it.

Taylor is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified health coach and personal trainer. Taylor has a great way of saying exactly what you need to hear.

Give Taylor a follow on Instagram @iamtaylorchandler and check out her website iamtaylorchandler.com. Taylor has her own podcast called Boundaries and Grace. Make sure to check it out after this episode!

QUOTES

“You’re in a deficit. In these relationships, there’s no way the scales are balanced. You’re in a deficit and you can't be at your best from a place of inner lack.” [14:53] –Taylor Chandler

“If you are in truly a toxic relationship, there’s no way that your inside is being filled up. You’re going to consistently feel like you’re lacking something or something is being taken from you...that you’re pouring out and you’re not getting poured back into.” [15:38] –Taylor Chandler

“A toxic person always feels negatively about themselves. People that feel happy about themselves don't go around doing this kind of thing. They don't have this sort of effect on people. They don't leave people feeling confused. They don't leave people feeling less than. They don't leave people wondering about how you feel about them. People that feel good about themselves, don't have that effect on others.” [16:50] –Taylor Chandler

“If we only get feedback about ourselves from people we surround ourselves with, I can't sustain a healthy, happy, positive view of myself if the person I’m most intimate with has a negative view of me because they have a negative view of themselves. I can't achieve that level of self love as I’m hoping to get.” [17:24] –Taylor Chandler

“You have to take responsibility for what happens next. Think about it like if you knew for certain that no one was going to save you, what would you do next?” [19:35] –Taylor Chandler

“What’s happening when we’re in this mental fog of a truly toxic dynamic...when you start to think about what am I really missing out on? You realize it's just a fantasy and a hope of the potential of what you thought that this relationship was going to be but it's not that.” [22:05] –Taylor Chandler

If you enjoyed this episode, please spread the love! Share it with a friend and leave a review so more people can find Self Love Actually.

The theme of this week’s episode is movement in the moment. The special guest is my younger sister, Nicole Curtis. Nicole is knowledgeable in all things movement as she is a professional dancer, certified pilates instructor and has yoga training.

Nicole explains how movement is essential to self love. And no, we’re not talking about working out. Nicole explains the difference between the two in this episode and also gives examples of how to move your body out of self love.

To learn more about Nicole, follow her on Instagram @nicoleblaircurtis and check out her visual art account @nicole.curtis.art.

QUOTES

“The difference between the mindset of working out and the mindset of simply just moving your body...is that you’re doing it for the moment.” [4:43] – Nicole Curtis

“If you’re moving your body, you’re achieving the goal in the moment already.  There’s not necessarily an end goal but you’re actively achieving the goal just by moving.” [5:50] – Hailey Curtis

“Low impact exercises in the long term have more of a positive effect on our bodies than something that is very intense like cardio….low impact exercises like pilates or yoga, simply walking, helps to balance all sorts of chemicals and hormones in our bodies which in turn help us to not feel so stressed out. It helps with digestion. It helps with getting blood flowing in a low impact way that doesn't add stress to our body.” [7:17] – Nicole Curtis

“Always remember that movement is a necessity and everybody’s body needs to move in order to feel good and stay healthy, mentally and physically.” [9:19] – Nicole Curtis

“Lifting five pound weights is incredible! Being very grateful for what your body can do and realizing that the little steps that you take are very nourishing and they are enough.” [11:42] – Nicole Curtis

“When we deprive our bodies of movement, we may experience various health issues. Whether that’s physical or even mental.” [12:26] – Nicole Curtis

“I started moving more or thinking about moving my body for a new reason. And that was because it's what it's designed to do. When you gift your body movement of any kind, your body gets to fulfill its purpose and in turn you can be rewarded with benefits.” [12:54] – Nicole Curtis

“We have to move our bodies because that’s what it was designed to do and that is in my mind one of the purest forms of self love.” [13:45] – Nicole Curtis

“Rest is so important for self love because it gives you a moment to check in with yourself. You're giving permission to take a step back from your day to day life.” [18:29] – Nicole Curtis

If you enjoyed this episode, please spread the love! Share it with a friend and leave a review so more people can find Self Love Actually.

Have you ever wondered what self love actually is? This week our host, Hailey Curtis, dives into her personal self love journey and quest to discover what self love actually is.

QUOTES

“Over the past three years, it's been my mission to figure out, ‘what is self love?’

Self love isn't just one thing and it's also not tangible. Self love is really a lot of different things and they aren't the easiest of things to do for yourself. Self love really requires you to be intentional about your actions.” [1:38]

“Transformation really begins with awareness. If you aren't aware of what needs to change or what you would like to change in your life, the transformation will not happen.” [5:21]

“When boundaries are not a thing in your life, you don't have parameters around how far you’re going to go for someone. And not only that, but other people don’t know how to treat you if you don't have boundaries.” [7:22]

If you enjoyed this episode, please spread the love! Share it with a friend and leave a review so more people can find Self Love Actually.