Hailey Hates Everything

After a 2 month hiatus, Hailey and Sean are back to catch you up on life, loves, and hard truths! Hailey hates "hot guy Reels" in the new segment, Mini Hates. The duo share stories from their beach trip and Seattle fun seeing Joe McIntyre! They also talk about the personal benefits of CBG, Season 7 of Outlander, what went wrong with The Witcher, unhinged fans, and axe-throwing. Hailey shares about the discomfort of change with tips for tackling those everyday crappy mental health moments.

And Sean throws out a surprise and challenge we could probably all do without! LOL

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Brandon Mullis joins Hailey and Sean for their own mini-film festival! They've each chosen a favorite 90s film, watched them all, and discuss the good, the bad, and the incredibly bizarre!

If you want to watch along, Sean chose the 1995 French film, The City of Lost Children. Brandon picked Radioland Murders, a murder mystery comedy from 1994. The 1992, Ron Howard-directed Far and Away was Hailey's choice.

Hailey and Sean sit down to follow up on the dark side of #VanLife. In "Oooh Weees", Hailey shares her 35-year love of NKOTB as she celebrates New Kids On The Block Day and fangirls over Joe McIntyre's eyes as she prepares to see him next week! She's also sharing plus-size main character book recommendations, an awesome electric scrubbing brush, her naughty Sims 4 creation, and recent experience making her own lip balm. Sean shares app and television show recommendations for your binging pleasure.

Plus, depression, anxiety, and the art of drag and ballroom!!

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Hailey hates #VanLife. Sean shares a list of pros and cons on various van life-related issues that stir reflections and revelations in Hailey. There's also a PSA for people in nature, anti-camping propaganda, and a wee peek at what's in Hailey's purse. Brush up on your specific set of skills and get your buckets ready!

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In this special bonus episode, Sean nerds out on the highlights from the story of Dune's 8-book series he's been reading. Hailey isn't thrilled and needs you to join her on this ride! What came first - the sandworm or the sand trout? What does it take to be an Honored Madre? What are the benefits of cloning Jason Mamoa?

These questions, and many more, will be answered! The duo also talks about the intrigue of being unconventionally handsome, the best final form for Ultra Spice, and why Dune is basically a Gremlin Scenario.

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Welcome to Season 3! Hailey and Sean are back with a soft launch, catching you up on a winter's worth of shenanigans! The duo discusses mental health setbacks, not crying over cinnamon rolls, bending the rules, and Hailey's beef with Time. Sean takes a dive into the Dune book series, and Hailey's found an app that provides erotic audio stories.

Plus, Sean explains how the Word of the Year concept and Hailey's life coaching skills have helped him improve his mindset, while Hailey shares her exciting dentist visit news and puts old nemeses on blast!

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Hailey hates being inconsistent.  Hailey and Sean hunker down this week to talk about why they've been a bit absent. From mental health and herbal medication to dead dad birthdays and making competing desserts at Friendsgiving, to Teddy Ruxpin and why Sean seems to be more beloved by all, our hosts catch up with you on life as of late.

They share stories about their weird week when Hailey almost got murdered and Sean almost lost his job.  Plus, Hailey's been crafting and reading plus-size main character romance novels, like A Highlander for Hannah, inspiring the urge to write Christmas murder mysteries.  And Sean doesn't seem to remember the cheesy Christmas movie they accidentally watched.

Get your blanket and hot cocoa and let's chat!!

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This week, Hailey and Sean are presenting clips of all the tangents they went on with Brandon!  They talk kombucha, Hailey's first coffee order at Dunkin' Donuts, the genius of Pauly Shore, Sean's terrible impression of a Southern accent, and much more.  Sean surprises with scandalous He-Man-related photos while Brandon shares his history of pissing Hailey off with boyband jokes.

In "...Oooh Weeees", Hailey celebrates graduating from her certification course, and the duo discusses acquiring their early Christmas gift.  "No Cap" involves a tale of existing while over 40 and what happened when Sean got way too high.  

To celebrate the 35th anniversary of Masters of the Universe: The Motion Picture, Hailey and Sean welcome their resident He-Man Historian, Brandon, back to the podcast!!  Listen as they recap the film with behind-the-scenes factoids, random tangents, and a buttload of opinions.  Put on your metal thong, grab a bucket of fried chicken, and settle in for a groin-bruising good time!

Hailey hates anti-fat bias in outdoor activities, as we all should! The duo is back from their vacation in northeastern Oregon and ready to chat!  Inspired by their recent travels, they discuss lots of ways fat people are excluded from the outdoor activity space and the lack of plus-size representation. They share their apprehension at being first-time kayakers, hiking at 8,200 feet, and reclaiming the joy of being in nature. 

Also, Sean brags about his ambidextrous upbringing.

You deserve to take up space and have joyful experiences!  

Plus Size Outdoorsy Folks on Instagram:

Hailey's super high as our hosts catch you up on life.  Find out about the most annoying phrases they use that Hailey edits out of the podcast (mostly).  Get spoiler-free reviews of The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power, Bad Sisters, RuPaul's Celebrity Drag Race, and House of the Dragon in "Ooooh Weees". Hailey was recently back in-studio for her side gig and discusses the vulnerability hangovers that go along with being on television and just putting yourself out there in general.  The duo also get excited for Rose City Comic Con and celebrate their 17-year dating anniversary! 

Rivendell Atmosphere Music:

Hailey hates hair removal, despite participating in this ritual for 33+ years.  Sean walks us through some interesting history of hair removal processes from BC to the present day.  The duo talks about body hair insecurities, methods of hair removal, & personal tidbits about accepting and overcoming the shame of being a hairy person.  Plus, the pink tax, men's questionable beard choices, and hairstyles for your lady bits! 

Hailey & Sean wrap up their talk on children's books by discussing dangerous toys, sentient food, & books they loved in their youth.  Hailey reads the real ending to "Froggy Goes To The Doctor" & explains why she was given the nickname Tickle Me Satan decades ago.  In "Oooh Wees", you'll hear reviews for Amazon Prime's Paper Girls & RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars All-Winners season, followed by a couple of beauty product recommendations!  And finally, in "No Cap", Hailey decides to check the results of her bloodwork from her latest cancer check-up LIVE!

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Hailey hates inspirational children's books, or does she?  This week, Hailey and Sean discuss a variety of children's books, reacquainting themselves with "The Little Engine That Could", acting out the riveting conclusion of "Froggy Goes To The Doctor", and finding inspiration in the process.  

Hailey shares glimpses into her childhood, discusses what made her feel worthy, and what she'd like to see more of in children's literature! Sean shares how comic books helped him level up his reading.  Internet trolls, the importance of boundaries, sun sensitivity, cute teddy bears, and more!!  Buckle up for a roller coaster ride of info!

Share your favorite, or least favorite, children's books with us for next week's episode!

After going over all things small talk, Hailey & Sean were put to the test at a party over the holiday weekend!  How did they do?  Did they learn anything from helping them help you?  The duo shares plenty of recommendations in "Oooh Weees..." and "No Cap", including spoiler-free reviews of television shows - Legendary, Obi-Wan, Stranger Things, I Love That For You - and books - the Throne of Glass series and Where The Crawdads Sing.

Plus, Hailey shares a story about how she got recognized by a stranger at a restaurant over the weekend, and her love of school supplies and Spanish moss!  

Hailey hates small talk!  Or does she?  Hailey and Sean role play as made-up characters to share the good, the bad, and the astonishing in various small talk scenarios to showcase tips and tricks for being better at small talk.  The duo also watch a YouTube dude-bro's tips on how to small talk your way into a girl's "heart", sharing their observations & walking you through the video so you don't have to watch it yourself!

Hailey went to a New Kids On The Block concert and all she got was this lousy Covid!  Hailey shares where she is at as she heals and rests, while Sean brags about how he didn't "really" get sick.  lol  Plus, the duo share recommendations for TV shows and video games they've been watching/playing during this isolation downtime.

Hang tough as we recuperate and get back to you with new episodes!

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This week, Hailey and Sean revisit the topic of birthdays with stories from the internet of birthdays gone wrong, and Hailey walks you through a child's idea of the "worst birthday ever".   Hailey and Sean share their "Ooooh Weees" in the form of TV, books, and fun activities, and talk about the importance of seeking joy in "No Cap".

Hailey shares what she ended up doing for her recent birthday, why you should never take her to a haunted house, and how she would love to open an Anger Adventure Park.  Plus, we're celebrating the birthday of the podcast and riffing on ideas for a children's book about Crunkus the Birthday Demon! Join the celebration and don't throw your back out!!

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Hailey hates aging, but it's her birthday!  Why not celebrate by reminiscing about the worst, the best, and the fantastical of personal birthday memories?
Hear how Hailey's "glam casual" fashion sense got started, why she thinks she'd be a great stand-up comedian, and what happened the first time she went to a dance club.  Sean shares his sad boy Christmas baby celebrations, imagines Hailey's dream birthday shenanigans, and pats himself on the back for an amazing surprise birthday he set up for Hailey not too long ago.

Get tips on how to beat your own birthday blues, and don't forget to share your most memorable birthday memories with the crew!

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Hailey's having some kind of day as she chats with Sean, wrapping up Finding Magic Mike with comments from some of the show's contestants & internet reviews of the live show experience.  The duo reflects on what constitutes a good safe word, shares new television shows they are watching and why it took them so long to do yardwork in "Oooh Weees...", and Hailey talks about a deeply personal recent experience and all the emotions that come along with it.

Grab your calming essential oils, stay hydrated, and know it's just one of them days!!

Listen to Brandon Mullis' new album, Highways and Stars: https://brandonmullis.bandcamp.com/album/highways-and-stars

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Hailey hates Magic Mike, so naturally, she decided it would be fun to watch the dance competition show, Finding Magic Mike, on HBO Max.  The first couple of episodes left a bad taste, but will the seven-episode series turn out to be worthwhile?  Our duo shares their observations and thoughts about the show, overcoming insecurities/comparison, men's body image issues, the power of fashion, celebrating individuality, and the joys of transformation.  Hailey shares her male stripper experiences and recounts how her shame around sexuality got started. (Thanks, Mom.)

Can you guess which contestant Hailey hates the most? Why is Hailey crying?  Listen in to find out!

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Hailey and Sean wrap up thoughts on fanny packs with listener mail.  Sean presents a "mini hate" to provoke Hailey's frustration with premature wallering.  Hailey explains her need for inside and outside house slippers.  Our hosts try the winning McDonald's Menu Hack sandwich from the last mini-episode, and share a couple of TV show recommendations along with tales from their recent road trip to the Redwoods of Northern California in "...Ooooh weeees".

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Hailey hates fanny packs.  Call them bum bags, belt bags, or whatever else, they all equal the same thing to Hailey - repugnant.  Sean shows Hailey different styles of fanny packs and belt bags to get her take on when it is acceptable to wear one, how much she would pay for a designer version, and which ones should NEVER be worn.  What should be carried in your fanny pack?  Does Hailey have a secret fanny pack stash? All this and more...

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This week, Hailey & Sean wrap up some He-Man fun facts and introduce a segment on "mini hates", a bite-sized topic for Hailey to fume about!  Hailey hates "menu hacks", so Sean had to bring up McDonald's marketing scheme for combining Frankenstein-like sandwiches from their menu offerings.  The duo also shares what they are watching and playing in "Things That Make You Go Oooh Weee" & brings up their recent car drama in which a thief was thwarted in "No Cap"!

Don't forget to vote for which McDonald's Hack Sandwich Hailey should try!!  You can vote on our Instagram or in the poll on Spotify under this episode.  You can also vote with your money, as Hailey will try the Land, Air, & Sea abomination if you support the podcast with $10 or more!

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Welcome to Season Two!  This special episode is all about He-Man as Hailey and Sean are joined by friend and He-Man Historian, Brandon Mullis!  The trio talk about their thoughts and observations on Kevin Smith's Netflix vision, "Masters of the Universe: Revelation", and the new animated He-Man series, "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe".

Brandon has been watching He-Man since before he could form words and shares the ins and outs of Eternia with us, as well as some insights into his 29-year friendship with Hailey.  Sean brings some scandalous content, Hailey is pretty sure she's 50% Orko and 50% Cringer, and Brandon schools us on the differences between Webstor, Stinkor, Spikor, Ninjor, Mosquitor, Grizlor, Clamp Champ, and Fisto, just to name a few!

Hailey hates having a stuffy nose, but she's here!  Sean and Hailey are wrapping up Season 1 of the podcast with a short check-in to let you know what they have been up to over the holidays.  Hailey shares some tasty recipes and talks about how recording the podcast has helped her mentally.  She also finally shares how her beef with Nick Lachey got started!

Thank you for joining us on this adventure!  Look for more fun in Season 2, starting in February!

Hailey hates cheesy holiday movies. To welcome the season, Hailey & Sean watched A Castle For Christmas, a Netflix Christmas movie about an author, played by Brooke Shields, who visits Scotland to escape a scandal and must thaw the heart of a curmudgeon castle owner, played by Cary Elwes.

Can a dog successfully "Parent Trap" his owner?  Are Scottish people really that hard to understand?  How many of the flattest flats can one woman pack on a winter trip to Scotland?  Why is Drew Barrymore even in this??  Find out why Hailey thinks this is a reimagined fanfic from her teen years as the couple shares their observations on this frigid yet festive fortress film.

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Music licensed from http://www.purple-planet.com

Hailey still hates Dune 1984.  This episode is all about the rest of Dune 1984 (from where Dune 2021 ends) and how it compares to the events in the book.  Hailey's grossed out by Sting's wing bikini, raw cow eating, recycled bodily fluids, and intelligent wet fetuses. Sean goes into the lineage of various characters and who procreates in later books.  And Hailey finds out how Paul Atreides is like Chris Evans.

Where are Picard and the pug? Would you ride a giant worm? Also, get the scoop on what's coming up on a new holiday-themed episode!!

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Hailey hates the 1984 movie Dune.  She hates it so much, Sean thought it would be fun to make her watch it again.  Then he made her watch the 2021 Dune.  She wasn't happy, but she did it for YOU!  This week, the duo compare and contrast both films, sharing observations, opinions, and plot twists and turns.  Does Hailey also hate the 2021 Dune?  Does it have any redeeming qualities?  Is she now a Chalamet Bae?  Listen in to find out!!

This episode ends where the 2021 Dune movie ends, but a few future plot point spoilers start around the 01:48:53 mark.

Remember, you can always email us, leave a voicemail, or email a voice memo our way to share your thoughts and opinions!

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Hailey and Sean follow-up on a few more haunted issues from last week and share some listener ghost stories!  Sean googles the risque type of haunted doll. Hailey talks about home decorating and DIY projects. The gang does a rundown of all the topics in Season 1 thus far, shares some television show reviews in "Ooooh Weees", and does not cap on a depression and anxiety check-in!  We're turning enemies into friends and calling on Adam Levine to ghost hunt in this week's spooktacularly goofy episode!

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Hailey hates haunted dolls!  Grab some popcorn and listen in as Hailey and Sean give you a rundown of the surprisingly entertaining movie "Annabelle: Creation".  Learn what not to do when your house is haunted, how to properly dispose of a haunted doll, and how you can adopt your own creepy doll.

Hailey shares what kind of doll she would have her consciousness transferred to, her rules about touching things at thrift stores, and OMG, did Sean buy a haunted doll?!?!  

Hailey shares more real-life ghost stories and wants to hear yours!!  Tune in for important life lessons in this week's episode!

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It's a giggle-fest of fun following up on last week's episode, with a look at some more advanced toys for the not so faint of butt among us.  Our duo talks dragon tails, octopus tentacles, and robot aliens before diving into their "Oooh Weees" for the week - a comic con update, Lucy Lawless goodness, and skincare recommendations.  Hailey also apologizes for all the times she was an ass to her friends in childhood because they cussed too much.

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Hailey hates butt plugs!  At least, she's 99.9% sure she does even though she's never used one.  Sean shocks our hostess with today's topic and they giggle like 12-year-olds as they learn about all the different types of toys one can use - silicone, vibrating, Bluetooth, novelty, cold hard steel, and hooks!  Plus, find out the best butt plug to use as a ninja throwing sword at LARPing events!

Hailey also ponders why people eat without a beverage, how sex is like a video game, and tells the story of the time she *almost* met Keanu Reeves.

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This week, Hailey and Sean sit around the campfire to tell stories, like that time Hailey's stepdad heard the call of Sasquatch, the time Hailey almost lost her eye at an MST3K Live Show, and why Hailey has beef with Treach from Naughty By Nature. Learn about the predators and mammals of Scotland, find out why Sean hates scented candles, and join the fake versus real Christmas tree debate!

Also, September is Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month, so Hailey shares resources and tips for staying on top of your thyroid health. We hope you're saying "oooh weee" because fall is coming!

Scotland Land Mammals

https://treesforlife.org.uk/into-the-forest/trees-plants-animals/mammals/

Target Candles:  Frosted Siberian Pine 

https://rstyle.me/+zm6XmVlr-diVFMwBkObYzg

Bourbon Pumpkin

https://rstyle.me/+4lcGKreyUFGSf0dCBWRDPw

The Other Two on HBO Max

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8-wM1bqfGA

Mr. Corman 

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_BZVS9YZQE

The Crafsman Steady Craftin

https://www.youtube.com/c/TheCrafsMan

Thyroid Health Resource Page

http://www.divinemrsdiva.com/p/thyroid-health-resources.html

Thyroid Self-Screening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msbHLZQz8fk

A few ways to help those affected by Hurricane Ida:

TransQueerYouth NOLA - https://gofund.me/60c3ddb4

Imagine Water Works & Mutual Aid Response Network - https://donorbox.org/ida

Culture Aid NOLA - https://www.cultureaidnola.org/ida/

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Hailey hates how much time and energy get wasted on conspiracy theories.  This week, Sean presents Disney, toy, and pop culture-related conspiracy theories in the hopes of sorta kinda ruining Hailey's childhood just a smidge.  Did Tangled predict the pandemic?  Does Finding Nemo showcase the stages of grief?  Is Up about a journey to the afterlife?  Is Tarzan really Elsa and Anna's brother?  

Our duo also discuss the questions: What would you do in a Holodeck? Do lizard people really eat meat?  And if so, does a tea brine make people meat tastier?

Also, Brandon, our Official He-Man Historian and friend of the podcast, answers some burning He-Man questions and gives us some backstory on the Eternia Universe.

Join the discussion and let us know what you think via our website, Instagram, email, or voicemail! (links below)

10 Crazy Disney Theories That Are Too Real To Ignore

Picking up on some topics from the last episode, Hailey and Sean pivot from animated children's shows to more adult animated shows.  They discuss Masters of the Universe: Revelation in both spoiler-free and spoily form.  What's the deal with Skeletor? What are the psychological implications of He-Man's transition? 

The duo also reviews Beastars, an anime high school drama club murder mystery with talking animal people, and walks you through the first episode.

Hailey confronts Sean about his "podcast voice", discusses hot animal cartoon characters, and explains why Alanis Morissette haunts her every day!

“Curvy” Barbie Fashionistas

Hailey hates when children's entertainment teaches them all the wrong things.  This week, Hailey and Sean dig a little deeper into the messaging of a couple of cartoon examples that seem to be love letters to toxic beauty ideals and capitalism.  They watch one episode of Winx Club and clips from the Bratz Babyz Movie as Hailey fumes over the tragic implications of teaching babies to be "hotter than hot".

We've got pant-sniffing, nipple-ring trolls, baby burlesque, Spice Girl fairies, fashion from 1996, Herculean bunny rabbits, the Douchestreet Boys, a Clueless-style closet filled with baby t-shirts and underoos, and My Little Pony badonkadonks.  Join us, won't you?

Winx Club - Season 1 Episode 1 - An Unexpected Event - [FULL EPISODE]

This week is a not-so-mini episode introducing two new segments to the show! Hailey and Sean share spoiler-free reviews of television shows they are watching lately, what arts and crafts are keeping Hailey occupied, why they had to watch F9, and recommendations for tasty options at Red Robin.  Hailey shares some progress she has made with anxiety, depression, and cPTSD lately, what doctors don't tell you when you have cancer, and why the podcast is a part of her personal growth.  Humor is the main ingredient in this week's casserole of crazy!

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Despite his best efforts, Sean couldn't keep this train on the rails either!  This week, our hosts are joined by their friends Nigel & Joaquin and go off on a series of tangents to keep you on your toes.  Crappy drivers, parking issues in Portland, and Hailey's traumatic attempts at driving are discussed, along with some of life's big questions -  Will Mark Feehily ever grace us with his presence?  Does Tom Hiddleston have Big Dick Energy?  Will children ever not listen to Justin Bieber in nature?  And Chex Mix or Muddy Buddies?

Our crew also shares ghost stories, the voices their dogs have had, and everyone does a Chewbacca impression!  Plus, we find out the best way to get ne'er-do-well kids off your lawn!

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Our duo follows up this week with a few more words that didn't make it into last week's episode, listener feedback on YOUR most hated word abbreviations/slang/etc., and a review of the first episode of HBO Max's Gossip Girl series.

Plus, Hailey shares a slang-filled poem she wrote inspired by all the words she loves to hate!

Hailey hates word abbreviations!  This week Sean presents abbreviations, slang terms, and other jargon to infuriate our hostess.  Hailey talks about the importance of the "Free Willy" soundtrack, her dad's cold-ass apartment, and how she wishes this episode was sponsored by Ben & Jerry's non-dairy ice cream.  Also, Sean is high this week, so NOONE is controlling this train!!

2021’s Most Used Internet Abbreviations for Tweeting and Texting

This week, Hailey & Sean give their spoiler-free review of Derek DelGaudio’s In & Of Itself (Hulu), Sean does magic tricks he's been practicing, and the two discuss bringing people together, Hailey's weird phobias, and spider attacks!

Watch In & Of Itself on Hulu

Hailey hates douchebag magicians. In this episode, Hailey & Sean watch the show Big Trick Energy for the first time and are ready to walk you through it so you don't have to sit through it yourself.  They recommend some good magicians and television shows, share the most "Portland" thing they've ever done, and Hailey is hoping a magician can conjure up Chris Evans.  Is it chaos?  Is it magic?  Is it just dude-bros acting foolishly?  You be the judge!

Big Trick Energy - Introducing the Bad Boys of Magic (Full Episode) | truTV

Hailey and Sean return this week with a few more memories that got stirred up by last week's episode.  Then they share YOUR public restroom stories that were sent in this week!

Hailey hates public restrooms.  This week Hailey and Sean talk about all things public restrooms! They talk about personal experiences, check out some restroom horror stories from the internets, and take a look at very bizarre restrooms from all over the world.  Plus, Hailey shares her absolute favorite restroom from her travels, and Sean discusses his own personal restroom nightmare.

Horror Stories:

Hailey hates life hacks. Hailey & Sean start the show off big with a look at a couple of segments from Hack My Life.  Find out what life hacks and bad life choices have in common, if creamer containers can be good contact lens cases, fun first date ideas, upcycling VHS tapes, and why every grown man should own a belt.  Plus, Hailey begs Chris Evans to appear on the show and talks about the joys of the Ghost Brothers, before discussing life hacks that have actually been helpful.  And they are still asking the question, who pissed on the rug??

Videos in episode:

Hack My Life - Six Degrees Of Hacks

A little appetizer intro!

In this intro, we help you get to know a little about Hailey and Sean, and share our plans for the format of the series.  And we may or may not go on a few tangents about middle school skits, weed, anxiety, & how Hailey gets unfiltered.