It's weird to say but in a way, I have spent most of my life with blinkers on - steadily, steadfastly, preparing to die. I am only just starting to learn how to live, really. Or to indulge in life. This episode is me poking at that idea and unraveling it out loud.
On navigating beginnings. And how long they are. And how most of the time you're driving them blind. But more than that, beginnings are this unspoken renegotiation of your relationship with the thing you're beginning.
Being in the middle of something is hard. And right now, we're being thrust into a lot of non-negotiable, not-optional national and global middles, too, amidst our own. The bright side: Being forced into (the middle of) something, of anything, forces us to learn how to be okay there - even if we start out as not.
It's been one hell of a day--and week. I've had my feelings on high and I'm only *just* making my way through them. Hot tip if you're all feeled-out this week: Don't try to change the feels. Follow them.
What is your personal process for making and doing things? Sometimes I am so head down in the muck of mine that I forget I'm in one. And that it will end. But also it starts up again on auto-repeat, if I'm not careful.
This episode I talk about rules. Invisible rules. The kind that make us give (unwarranted) side eye to "that guy over there" who is chewing way too loud, or that bully us into laughing at a joke we definitely do not think is funny but everyone else is laughing, so.
#StayHome is hard. Not just because I thought I had Corona and freaked out. But also because staying home means no distractions. No escape, really. It's down to me and the mini horror series in my head I call my thoughts.