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Happily Ever Slasher

Happily Ever Slasher

By Happily Ever Slasher
Ever watch a rom-com and think to yourself, this is one chainsaw away from being a straight-up horror movie? You’re not alone. Welcome to Happy Ever Slasher.
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Every week, your hosts - friends and film nerds Tara and Amanda - take on one horror movie and one romantic comedy to find out just how much the two have in common. And they’re learning some valuable lessons in the process.
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Like the dangers of meeting people on the internet or why nothing good comes from renting a cabin in the woods (regardless how cute it is). So, tune in, and remember - all’s fair in love and gore.
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Practical Magic: What if it was a horror movie?
This week, we’re revisiting Halloween classic PRACTICAL MAGIC (1998). This wacky witchy romp is often billed as a romantic comedy – but is it though? What if it’s actually been a horror movie the whole time?!  . Millennials grew up thinking this was a rom-com and could you blame us? It’s got Nicole Kidman, Sandy B, a couple of eccentric aunts AND midnight margaritas! But is a family curse that causes the gruesome deaths of numerous men spanning generations and culminating in murder, corpse reanimation and finally an exorcism *actually* romantic or have we been lied to our entire lives?  . Join us as we discuss this cult fave and talk ways the film could have been (and mayybeeee already is) a horror movie. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t take much. . For more, find us on the interwebs or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher.
1:08:39
October 21, 2020
Would you rather?: Get to know your hosts - Bonus episode
Happily Ever Slasher is back after a brief intermission – and we have a new co-host! This week, Tara says goodbye and we welcome Brooke to the podcast. She’s been a horror fan since THE RING prevented her from getting a good night’s sleep as a kid and her superpower is correctly guessing the ending to any movie in the first 20 minutes. In this bonus episode, Amanda and Brooke play an eye-opening game of horror and rom-com themed “Would you rather?”. You may not learn our deepest, darkest secrets but you will find out whether we'd rather make out with Pennywise or Freddy Krueger and who we'd choose as our early aughts rom-com sidekick - Judy Greer or Kathryn Hahn. Join us and play along! Share your own answers with us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher.
1:03:04
October 14, 2020
Camp Nowhere and Lord of the Flies: Growing up is a trap – Ep. 14
It’s another week at Camp Happily Ever Slasher. And this week, we’re going back to the 90s with two movies about what happens when kids are left to their own devices… with very different results. We’re talking about the batshit crazy Christopher Lloyd-fronted comedy CAMP NOWHERE (1994) and the film adaptation of LORD OF THE FLIES (1990). . Both movies feature groups of kids surviving on their own with the presence of one adult who is in no condition to be responsible for multiple children. (In LORD OF THE FLIES, this character is critically injured and dies halfway through; in CAMP NOWHERE it’s Christopher Lloyd.) . What is it about Christopher Lloyd befriending a plucky high school kid that's just always so damn good? Also, how does CAMP NOWHERE have an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes? It’s a national treasure! . The lesson this week? Growing up is a trap. Sure, we can make our own bedtime and eat whatever we want – but at what cost?! Are adults *actually* smarter than any of these minors? We want to say yes, but LORD OF THE FLIES feels weirdly relevant. Pass the conch and join us, won't you? .  For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
1:46:54
August 12, 2020
Us and The Parent Trap: The villain can look a lot like the hero - Ep. 13
This summer, Happily Ever Slasher is going to camp – with 4 episodes featuring at least one movie that takes place at a summer camp! This week, get ready for all the camp hijinx and twice the recommended amount of Lindsay Lohan with Nancy Meyers’ 1998 favorite THE PARENT TRAP. But don’t get too comfortable – it’s double trouble x 2 as an unsuspecting family finds themselves on summer vacation – it’s Jordan Peele’s 2019 horror masterpiece US.  . What’s the deal with the isolation cabin at Camp Walden? Should it have really taken Hallie and Annie *that* long to realize they’re twins? And is Meredith *actually* the villain or was it really Hallie this whole time?  . If you haven’t seen US, we recommend watching it before you tune in. Spoiler alert: It was one of our favorite horror movies we’ve done on the pod (and maybe of all time). What are you waiting for? Tether yourself to your nearest listening device and join us. . For more, find us at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
1:58:50
July 23, 2020
Friday the 13th and Wet Hot American Summer: Keep it in your pants - Ep. 12
This summer (or at least for the next 3 weeks), Happily Ever Slasher is going to camp! And, if we’re going to do this, there’s only one place to start. Ch ch ch ch ha ha ha. We’re talking about the 1980 iconic slasher FRIDAY THE 13TH and the 2001 camp comedy WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER. . Summer camp is dangerous! For the counselors but also for the kids. Sure, FRIDAY THE 13th may feature the most well-known serial killer of the week but let’s not forget Paul Rudd’s character in WET HOT straight-up murders a whole bunch of children. But most of these deaths could have been prevented if a couple of horny counselors just kept it in their pants. . Who wears short shorts? Literally every person in the 80s and we’re here for it. While neither film is perfect, WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER remains a completely absurd romp and FRIDAY THE 13TH is still iconic in the genre (although it’s neither of our favorites of the franchise).  . Plus, we get nostalgic about our own summer camp experiences and, you know, spending extended amounts of time outside and around people. But Camp Crystal Lake can keep the Strip Monopoly. There are easier ways to sit around in your underwear for 6 hours. . For more, find us at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
1:48:09
July 9, 2020
But I'm a Cheerleader and Jennifer's Body: Love is love...unless it's a succubus - Ep. 11
Young love is complicated! This week, we’re going back to high school with two movies about teen girls exploring their sexuality despite the presence of evil - be it a literal demon or a figurative one in the form of a gay conversion camp. We’re talking about the iconic 1999 satire BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER and the 2009 horror-comedy JENNIFER’S BODY.  . We’re answering the important questions, like how were low-rise jeans ever a thing, and why couldn’t they have gone the way of bisexuality in both of these movies and just ceased to exist? The bi-erasure is real.  . But despite that, we’re celebrating a week where both films are made by female filmmakers! Is BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER as campy and wonderful as ever? Is JENNIFER’S BODY actually the feminist horror film it was intended to be? And can we all agree that regardless, Megan Fox deserves an apology for the YEARS of bullshit she’s had to put up with in Hollywood?  . Both films tackle serious subjects through the lens of dark humor and satire while also depicting the beauty and angst of teen romance. Ultimately, the lesson is simple: Love is love. Unless, you know, it’s an actual succubus out to devour your flesh.  . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
1:42:05
July 1, 2020
Pretty Woman and Body Double: Life is not a fairytale – Ep. 10
It’s our 10th episode! And in honor of this milestone, we’re tackling one of the most iconic AND most problematic romantic comedies ever made… It’s the classic tale of girl meets boy, boy pays girl $3,000 – PRETTY WOMAN (1990). And, alongside it, we’ve got a neo-noir erotic thriller, BODY DOUBLE (1984).  . Both movies feature Hollywood-based sex workers being paid to play a role that’s not quite what they signed up for. In one, it’s an unrealistic love affair, in the other, it’s a needlessly complicated murder plot. Both are equally absurd.  . And there are so many unknowns… like what do any of the female characters in either of these movies want – aside from helping men with their problems? How many times did Brian DePalma jerk off to VERTIGO while writing the script for BODY DOUBLE? And who needs the Bechdel test when a woman doesn’t even speak words for the first half of the film?  . Can we call ourselves feminists and still enjoy these movies? (We can and we do.) But we can admit it’s a BIG problem. BIG. HUGE. The lesson this week: Life is not a fairytale. Princesses need to save themselves. So pry yourself away from the telescope and join us. . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
2:01:39
May 13, 2020
Drag Me To Hell and When In Rome: Patriarchy is a curse - Ep. 9
From the gates of hell to the fountains of Rome, cursed objects ain’t nothing to mess with. This week, we’re learning the hard way – don’t take things that don’t belong to you – whether it’s coins from a fountain or an old lady’s house. We’re talking about the 2009 horror favorite DRAG ME TO HELL and the 2010 rom-c̶o̶m̶ bomb WHEN IN ROME. . With so many jump scares, the most frightening part of Drag Me To Hell is still an old lady taking out her teeth inside a bank, which is just not okay in a post-covid world (but also was it ever okay?).  . We’re getting on our feminist soapbox because WHY do women constantly need to choose between compassion and success? It’s the 21st century, can we not have it all? *checks notes* No, guess not. The lesson this week: Patriarchy is a curse, but it’s one we’ll keep fighting to break. . We also play a rousing game of F*ck, Marry, Kill where there are no winners - except possible Danny DeVito. So grab the person in your life who knows WAY too much about curses (everyone has one, right?) and buckle in for our latest episode. . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
1:54:55
May 6, 2020
Juno and Rosemary's Baby: Her body is nobody's business – Ep. 8
Oh, baby! Break out the hamburger phone and novelty “it’s a demon!” cigars for an episode 9 months in the making.  We’re talking about the 2007 rom-com JUNO and the 1968 horror classic ROSEMARY’S BABY. . You may not immediately think a quirky early-aughts comedy and a satanic horror film from the 1960s would have much in common, but think again. Both movies involve complicated pregnancies and eccentric older couples who are extra invested in the baby.  . We’re tackling the tough topics, like are either of these movies pro-choice? And how surprised are you that the more pro-choice film might not be Juno? But don't worry, we're also tackling the not-so-tough topics... like anagrams. Clever plot device or lazy writing? . So pour yourself a Tannis root smoothie or grab that family-size jug of Sunny D and join us. . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
1:54:30
April 29, 2020
Miss Congeniality and The Silence of the Lambs: F*ck your boys club – Ep. 7
Being a female FBI agent looks EXHAUSTING... This week we say f*ck your boys club. So swap your sweatpants for your best business casual and aviators. We’re talking about THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991) and MISS CONGENIALITY (2000). . We’re asking the important questions, like how does any woman succeed without a queer or queer-coded male mentor? Why do all dramatic FBI transactions require an airplane hanger? And where are the HR departments in either of these movies?! Sure Anthony Hopkins deserved the Oscar despite his limited screen time, but where’s William Shatner’s award for stealing the entire show?  . It’s hard to believe these movies have as much in common as they do - about as hard to believe as Sandy B requiring a team of people to get her pageant-ready. So pour yourself a nice glass of Chianti (hold the fava beans) and join us. . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
1:47:25
April 22, 2020
The Invisible Man and Ghost: You don't have to see it to believe it – Ep. 6
Fact: Just because you can’t see him, doesn’t mean he’s not creepily following you around. This week, it’s all about what you can’t see. So put on some Unchained Melody, grab a seat at the closest pottery wheel and settle in - we’re talking the 1990 box office romance GHOST and the just-released 2020 horror film THE INVISIBLE MAN. Surprise! . Next time your cat hisses at an empty room, remember it could be a ghost with unfinished business... or it could be a megalomaniac who invented an invisible suit - either way, someone’s always watching. . Tara geeks out over Universal Monsters mythos, Amanda dusts off her old college film theory textbook and we both fangirl HARD over the iconic performance by Elisabeth Moss. Get ready to be a believer. . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
1:56:30
April 15, 2020
Twilight and Fear: If he scares you, run – Ep. 5
Repeat after us... stalking is not romantic. This week, we’re talking two first love cautionary tales both involving high school girls falling for possessive older men who are also definitely murderers. It’s the 2008 box office hit TWILIGHT and the 1996 Marky Mark-led thriller FEAR. . Who would have thought a teen vampire romance would have so much in common with a 90s psychological thriller? And we’re not just talking about the fact that they both take place in Washington and are scored by the same composer - two things we didn’t know when we picked them for this episode. . In this very special super-sized episode of the podcast, we reflect on some of the most nostalgic and cringey movies of our youth. And we have some questions. Like what movie did Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson think they were signing up for? Can Mark Wahlberg play a character who's not from Boston, or do they have to write an East Coast backstory into all his roles to justify the accent? And how is everyone okay with Edward climbing into Bella's window and watching her sleep for MONTHS without her consent. . So what did we learn? Aggressive stalking is not a healthy start to any relationship. Never give out your alarm code. And if he scares you, don’t question it, just run. . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher
2:23:49
April 8, 2020
Vertigo and Heartbreakers: Never fall for your mark – Ep. 4
Crime doesn’t pay... or does it? This week, we’re talking about women and the men they trick to fall in love with them as part of unnecessarily complicated schemes - It’s the 1958 Hitchcock classic VERTIGO and the 2001 rom-com HEARTBREAKERS. . While you wouldn’t think one of AFI’s top 10 films of all time would have much in common with a schlocky Jennifer Love Hewitt-fronted rom-com from the early aughts, you would be mistaken. The plots are uncannily similar. It’s almost like they’re the exact same person but with a different hairstyle. . It’s a tale as old as time: Girl tricks boy, boy is much too easily conned, girl falls for boy... How are these men so easy to dupe? They know absolutely nothing about these women. And would it be more or less believable if we just replaced them all with Chad from SNL? Uh ok. . So what did we learn? Change your hair, change your life. Only amateurs save souvenirs from previous cons. And never, we repeat, never fall for your mark. . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher 
1:30:31
March 31, 2020
You've Got Mail and Unfriended: Don't meet people on the internet - Ep. 3
Does anything good realllllyyy happen on the internet? This week, we trace the history of online communication from the wide-eyed early days of dial-up with YOU'VE GOT MAIL (1998) to the modern day reality of being constantly plugged into a technology that's probably out to get us, let's be honest – it's UNFRIENDED (2014). . Sure, YOU'VE GOT MAIL stars rom-com royalty Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, but it's basically the origin story of modern day emotional cheating and he spends more than half the movie catfishing her. Fast forward nearly 20 years to UNFRIENDED, where the entire movie takes place online – and that unknown screen name just might be a vengeful spirit and not Tom Hanks doing subpar impressions from "The Godfather." . As we all hunker down and self-isolate for the greater good, the internet is more important than ever to staying connected. But when it comes to meeting strangers online, is it ever really a good idea? Sure, our dating lives would be nonexistent, but maybe that's for the best. So fire up your floppy disk for 5 free hours of AOL and join us as we head to the dark side of the world wide web.
1:45:47
March 24, 2020
Sixteen Candles and Valentine: Women don't owe you anything - Ep. 2
Some horror movie villains don’t wear masks, they masquerade as high school heartthrobs in John Hughes movies. This week, we’re talking 80s coming-of-age "classic" SIXTEEN CANDLES alongside 90s teen slasher VALENTINE. . We're asking the important questions like... which one is the horror movie? How in the world did Roger Ebert find Sixteen Candles to be "a cheerful movie with a goofy sense of humor... [that] doesn't hate its characters"? And did Valentine reallllllllllly deserve that 11% on Rotten Tomatoes? . From a cherub-faced killer out for revenge on the women who rejected him IN THE 6TH GRADE to the sociopath origin story no one asked for – Jake Ryan: American Psycho - both movies feature male characters who just can't seem to grasp this concept: That girl who wasn't interested at the school dance doesn't owe you anything. Especially not a pair of her underwear, or you know, her life. The lesson this week: Women. Don’t. Owe. You. ANYTHING. Louder for the people in the back.
1:43:48
March 18, 2020
It Follows and Easy A: Honesty is the best policy - Ep. 1
Sex has consequences, whether you have it or not. This week, Tara and Amanda take on the 2010 rom-com “Easy A” and the 2014 horror favorite “It Follows” and share the v important lessons learned in the process. . This week, we take on the disturbing tale of a high school prostitution racket gone wrong... and we’ll get to the horror movie too. It’s the 2010 Emma Stone and Penn Badgley fronted rom-com, Easy A! And if you’re wondering what could possibly be more terrifying - it’s the sexually transmitted curse that no health class prepared us for - it’s the 2014 horror favorite “It Follows.” So put on your best corset with hand-stitched Scarlet Letter, jump into your pristine-condition vintage car, and join us. . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher . Theme song: Written by Tara Clune, Amanda Festa and Ryan Hirsh; Performed by Brooke Parker and Ryan Hirsh.
1:33:37
March 10, 2020
Introduction: All’s fair in love and gore - Ep. 0
Ever watch a rom-com and think to yourself, this is one chainsaw away from being a straight-up horror movie? Us too! Welcome to Happy Ever Slasher. The podcast about two very different genres with one thing in common. . Every week your hosts, friends and film nerds Tara and Amanda (that’s us!) are watching one horror movie and one romantic comedy to find out just how similar the two really are. Spoiler alert: it’s uncanny. And in the process, we’re learning A LOT (like how to make a podcast, and how not to trust literally anyone). Because all’s fair in love and gore. . For more, find us on the interwebs at happilyeverslasher.com or follow us on Instagram @happilyeverslasher . Theme song: Written by Tara Clune, Amanda Festa and Ryan Hirsh; Performed by Brooke Parker and Ryan Hirsh.
02:33
March 3, 2020