Happiness Simplified

Episode 28 - Going All In- Interview With Jeff Kee

A Timely Conversation About Life and Death

In this episode, Dai and Kayvon talk about their sleeping and waking habits and how it affects their productivity. Whether you’re an early riser or have a set time of how many hours you need to sleep each night, whether you like it or not, these patterns do affect our productivity. Kayvon and Dai share tips and research regarding sleep cycles and how to get the most out of your sleep to boost your productivity.

3 Key Points:

1. Having a sleep pattern can be beneficial for setting a rhythm for you and your work.
2. Being an early riser has its perks, like having more uninterrupted hours.
3. It is important to finish your much-needed sleep cycles—which is around 90 minutes.

In this episode, Kayvon and Dai talk about the continuous battle we have in sticking to our goals. We set goals—like taking care of our health, for instance—and all too soon, we cave and have a doughnut or postpone that next workout for another day. So how can we set the habits that lead us in the right direction? Kayvon and Dai discuss the do’s and the don’ts for how to follow your goals to success and use their own personal goals as an example.

3 Key Points:

1. It is important to prioritize your health and stick to that goal.
2. Create a routine and commit to it—this is better than relying on willpower to achieve your goals.
3. Take small measurable steps in achieving your goals—each victory will fuel the nex

Part of being human is having negative thoughts creep in and cloud your mind – these are the “dragons” that hinder people from reaching their goals. But, should these thoughts have all the power? How do we counteract the negativity? Listen as Kayvon and Dai takes us into a deeper discussion of The Imposter Syndrome and provide you with tips on how you can control your dragons.

3 Key Points:

1. We’re only human—it’s normal to have negative thoughts and experience the Imposter Syndrome at different times in your life.
2. You cannot eliminate the possibility of having negative thoughts, BUT you can learn to control them.
3. Know yourself and believe that you CAN do whatever you set out to do.

As our stuff builds and accumulates in our homes, our lives, our SUVs, etc., the act of purging and paring down these items may not be as easy as it seems. Kayvon and Dai delve into the psychological barriers and attachments that tend to be tied to our stuff and dig into the benefits of purging. Tune in to discover the resources and methodologies that have helped Kayvon and Dai simplify their life and happiness by purging.

3 Key Points:

1. Setting limitations for ourselves helps us in EVERY aspect of life.
2. People tend to get emotionally attached to things they're not supposed to.
3. You can eliminate stress by removing the things that do not spark joy and by keeping the things that do.

In Episode #19, Kayvon and Dai talk life after 40. Tune in to hear Dai share about his life, the idea of the mid-life crisis, and more lessons learned on how to simplify happiness.

3 Key Points:

1. The connections that are REAL are the ones that MATTER!
2. Work hard for friendships and don’t take them for granted—we NEED that human connection.
3. The benefit of a mid-life crisis is that it makes us realize WHO is most important to us and deserves our time and energy.

In this episode, Kayvon and Dai are going to share their experience from the Summit of Greatness. They’ll talk key takeaways, memorable moments, and the speakers that made an impact on each of them.

In Episode #15 Kayvon and Dai discuss the normalcy of up and down experiences, and how the common constraints and definitions we tend to impart upon ourselves are damaging.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

●  00:28 – Introduction to today’s topic

●  00:46 – Dai shares his year of transition and how it impacted him

●  02:23 – “All of us experience Ups and Downs”

●  03:48 – Dai discusses his experiences from the road

o  05:24 – “I was physically tired…And it shifted to a negative direction”

●  06:13 – Remember that tomorrow is a new day with a new opportunity

●  07:39 – “The way we talk about life is how it moves through our head”

●  08:43 – Kayvon’s experiences from the past and how those have changed him

●  10:02 – Our brain gives meanings to non-specific, non-correlated facts

●  10:28 – “Behaving in a certain way doesn’t have to be negative”

●  11:01 – All of us, not matter our peculiarities, are normal human beings

●  12:57 – Strategies on dealing with ups and downs that worked for Dai and Kayvon

o  14:42 – Stop focusing on the negative

o  14:59 – Improve upon the positive

o  16:32 – Look at the physicality (reality) of situations—don’t let your imagination wander too much

●  19:50 – Subscribe on iTunes!

3 Key Points:

1.  Every person experiences Ups and Downs–it’s normal!

2.  Investing energy on negativity thoughts will only fuel negative actions.

3.  Every day is a new opportunity.

In Episode #13 Kayvon and Dai talk about empathy. Listen in to hear about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, how empathy is a skill like any other, and what you can do to develop it.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

●  00:40 – Introduction

●  01:43 – “Empathy is the most under-utilized human emotion”

●  02:15 – Empathy is both an emotion and a skill

●  03:22 – Dealing with your own challenges lets you get closer to how other people are feeling

●  04:20 – Kayvon had English as a second language - so he knows the definition of ‘empathy’ and ‘sympathy’

●  05:25 – Sympathy is acknowledging others’ emotions - empathy is understanding them

●  06:30 – People are very quick to judge

●  07:50 – How do you go about teaching yourself empathy?

●  09:00 – Life experience helps to produce empathy

●  11:30 – Sometimes there is too much of an experience gap to empathize

●  15:00 – Bedside manner - how do doctors manage empathy?

●  17:20 – Patients are helped by a doctor’s empathy

●  19:15 – Parents want nothing more than to make their kids’ sadness go away

●  20:15 – Empathy is a skill that we need to practice

●  21:02 – Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes before the next episode

●  21:30 – Tell us how it goes! We’d love to hear back from you.

3 Key Points:

1.  Empathy isn’t practiced enough - people are often quick to judge

2.  To practice empathy, turn to your own experiences. When have you felt something similar?

3.  Honest connections rely on empathy

In Episode #12 Kayvon and Dai talk about being a victim of circumstance. Tune in to hear why pain and suffering don’t have to make you a victim, how to make sustainable changes in your life, and the guru who taught his students to “remember yourself”.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

●  00:45 – Introduction

●  02:25 – “Being a victim of circumstances”

●  02:45 – What are the concepts there? Can we unpack those ideas?

●  03:22 – “When we’re victims, our mental state is challenged”

●  04:25 – There is real victimization - but how do we deal with tough situations?

●  05:07 – In his early life, Dan adopted a victim mentality

●  07:08 – Dan gave up drinking - after realizing that even if circumstances gave him ‘permission’ to drink, it was something that was making him unhappy.

●  07:50 – Making changes is about taking control of your own life, even when it’s incredibly hard

●  09:30 – Changes start with yourself - then with others to help you sustain the change

●  11:00 – “We are people with power and choice”

●  12:05 – How do we deal with the real situations that cause us pain?

●  14:00 – Acknowledging that you are still there, and matter, in painful circumstances

●  15:15 – “Stop and remember yourself”

●  17:30 – You do matter in your life

●  18:40 – In school we learn to highlight all of the wrong things

●  20:30 - “I’d rather be Tigger than Eeyore”

●  21:40 – What do you think? Connect with us on social media.

3 Key Points:

1.  Hardship and pain are real - but you always have a choice about what attitude you take

2.  Changes start with yourself, but to be sustained they need help from other people

3.  Stop and remember yourself. You take up space. You matter.

In Episode #11 Kayvon and Dai talk about eliminating grey areas. Tune in to hear why Kayvon hates backup plans, how to escape analysis paralysis and a tip for tough decisions from Benjamin Franklin.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

●  00:35 – Introduction

●  01:30 – Dai tried parkour for the first time today

●  03:17 – Kayvon attended a relationship workshop

●  04:22 – Today’s topic: “No gray areas”

●  04:55 – “You either commit or you don’t. Make a final decision.”

●  06:07 – One of the reasons we don’t make decisions is that we ask the wrong questions

●  06:30 – Ask yourself why you’re doing things: and then make a decision. Any decision.

●  07:50 – ”You can have everything you love in life as long as you give up everything you don’t.”

●  09:30 – Get rid of the gray areas and backup plans

●  11:00 – How do you help people act instead of weighing up the options?

●  13:05 – Pick something. You don’t have to kill the other options: but pick one option and give it a try

●  14:48 – Benjamin Franklin would list all the pros and cons of any choice

●  15:30 – Listing choices and taking time to weigh them up is a great way to get out of your own head

●  18:00 – “Make the sale and figure out the logistics after”

●  19:17 - “Do or not do: there is no try”

3 Key Points:

1.  Make a choice. Any choice. Action is always better than paralysis

2.  You can have time and energy for what you love if you eliminate the things you don’t

3.  Take some time to work on your choices - brainstorm, create a list, or use another tool to get out of your head

In Episode #10 Kayvon and Dai talk about give and take. Tune in to hear their thoughts on the pleasures of giving, how creating a community uplifts you, and why it’s sometimes good to be selfish.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

●  00:30 – Introduction

●  01:12 – “Get versus Give”

●  02:17 – Kayvon connected with Dai through his free Sunday Funday project

●  03:02 – What has Dai got from his giving act?

●  04:35 – Dai wanted to create a community of people who would uplift each other

●  05:55 – “I wanted to pay it back”

●  08:00 – Dai finds the atmosphere in the group uplifting even on his toughest days

●  09:50 – ”You are the most important person in your life”

●  11:00 – Be selfish - let yourself recharge

●  12:00 – “Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others”

●  12:45 – Kayvon’s advice is to be your kindest version of yourself to the people you love the most

●  13:30 – There’s a relationship between getting and giving: give and take

●  15:00 – Give people the opportunity to help you

●  16:00 – If you share a dream, suddenly you aren’t ‘asking for help’ - you’re giving people the opportunity to come together and help build a dream with you

●  19:17 - There’s no separation between getting and giving. Giving makes us feel good. Getting is a connection with other people.

●  20:25 –  What are your thoughts? Help us learn from you!

3 Key Points:

1.  You are the most important person in your life: be kind to yourself and let yourself recharge

2.  Allow people the opportunity to help you

3.  There’s no separation between ‘getting’ and ‘giving’ - it’s all part of connection and exchange

In Episode #9 Kayvon and Dai discuss what to do when things go wrong. Tune in to hear why you should admit your mistakes, how to talk to someone with different core beliefs, and why sometimes it’s best to give up and move on.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

●  00:36 – Introduction

●  02:15 – “Is this the right hill to be climbing right now?”

●  02:50 – How do you remain open to being wrong?

●  04:02 – For every successful project, there are 9 failures

●  04:45 – “Every No means you’re one step closer to a Yes”

●  06:50 – Kaycon usually realizes he’s wrong when someone else comes into the equation

●  08:15 – Admitting your mistakes does not make you a weaker person - it just makes you a person

●  10:05 – When Dai started to admit he was wrong, he found his relationships functioning better

●  11:20 – “Learn to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on”

●  13:30 – “When you’re coaching - what’s the process of teaching someone whose core beliefs are different to yours?”

●  14:20 – The best thing is to assess the level of their emotional intensity at that moment

●  15:00 – If there’s a chance for a conversation, then try to ask questions that open up new possibilities in their mind

●  15:50 – “Sunk cost” - Sunk costs shouldn’t affect the decisions that you make about the future

●  19:00 – It can be hard to let go of the time, energy, and money that you’ve poured into a project. But whether you continue or not, the sunk cost is gone.

●  20:25 –  What’s a sunk cost that you found hard to let go of? And what did you learn from it?

3 Key Points:

1.  There are nine failures to every success - so don’t let them get you down

2.  Forget sunk costs. They’re lost, whatever decision you make about the future.

3.  Avoid arguing with people. Try to ask questions that open up the possibilities in their mind.

In Episode #4 Kayvon and Daidiscuss the power of community. Tune in to hear about how different communities have had an impact in their lives, the ways that you can find community as alone entrepreneur, and for a chance to share your own experiences.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

●  00:33– Introduction

●  01:50– The power of community

●  03:00– “When you get people together, it’s remarkable what happens”

●  03:30– People love seeing their friends succeed

●  04:05– Crossfit - “It’s the community that keeps you coming back”

●  06:30– People rally and cheer each other on - Kayvon’s experience finishing a workout

●  07:40– Social networks allow people to escape geographical constraints

●  09:30– Mastermind group - creates accountability. Just knowing that the group is there.

●  10:10– What type of community would you like to plug into?

●  10:50– “Health-based communities - when you have the health you can pretty much do anything”

●  12:00– “Being an entrepreneur can be lonely...I love opportunities to connect”

●  12:45– Mastermind groups are a great way to connect and share perspectives

●  14:30– Dai’s process of admitting that he had a problem with alcohol

●  15:47– “Habit-related communities can be powerful”

●  16:18– Dai’s community helped him through the recovery process

●  17:10– Kayvon likes to surround himself with healthy people and entrepreneurs

●  19:00– “A community can help you deal with dark clouds around you and find clarity of mind”

●  21:08– What’s a community that’s had an impact on your life? Send us your answers!

3 Key Points:

1.  Community is powerful: people find it easier to cheer their friends than themselves

2.  Decide what kind of community you want to be plugged into which people make you light up?

3. Lone entrepreneurs can benefit from groups likeMastermind that encourage you to share perspectives and be accountable to each other.

In Episode #3 Kayvon and Dai discuss the question: “What do you do to make success happen?” 

Tune in to hear Dai and Kayvon’s stories about success, learn tips for finding your success pattern, and find out what calligraphy and karate can teach you about becoming great.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

●  00:35– Introduction

●  02:00– What do you do to make success happen?

●  02:40– Kay’s always seeking patterns and trends

●  03:50– Find your success pattern: know yourself and how you succeed

●  04:12– Kay shares an exercise for finding your success pattern

●  05:00– Write down examples of your successes

●  05:30– For each example, write down 2 or 3 methods or tips that you used

●  06:30– Analyse your list: what’s been useful to you?

●  07:15– Find the top 3 methods that you’ve used the most often

●  10:20– Define what success means to you: everyone looks at it very differently

●  11:00– “Success is going from one level to the next level”

●  11:30– Kayvon improved his penmanship with constant practice

●  14:20– “Success was going from ‘terrible’ to ‘not terrible’”

●  15:30– Dai took up martial arts: success for him was about constant practice and mentoring

●  17:50– “Look for the joy in pursuing perfection”

●  18:40– “Once you get a black belt in something, you can get a black belt in anything”

●  20:35– A belt is a reminder of the practice and discipline that success takes

●  20:00– What’s the one thing you’ve focused on so much that you’re now a ‘blackbelt’?

●  21:50–  Send us your answers - we love to hear and learn from you!

3 Key Points:

1.  Study your past to find your ‘success pattern’

2.  Success is progress, not perfection. Focus on going from one level to the next.

3. Success takes practice and discipline: putting in the hours is what makes you great