Healing E-Motion with Hazel Hyslop

Really excited to restart my Podcast after a long break. This series will be for women who are work in spaces that forces them to abandon their natural skills such as empathy, compassion, emotional intelligence and intuition in order to fit in to a male dominated industry. My series will add to theh conversation as to why we do this and what can we do differently in order to lead authentic lives.

In this new series, I am addressing Relationships in different Contexts. One of my Specialism is in Systemic and Family Psychotherapist, helping Individuals, Couples, Families and Organisational teams, address relational issues. Today's focus is on Relationship with Self through the Decades with Heather Day. After Seven years of developing My 7 Step Model of Journey to Well-being, I have decided to trial it here in my Podcasts. In this approach, I  want to challenge the idea that we have to fit into a frame in order to be happy. I propose that its our difference that gets people's our attention. Yet we have learnt to adapt into a frame that says if you don't do it this way that there is something wrong with you. You see this in families and organisations. Being different gets you labelled as weird, quirky, mad etc. So, people learned to fit in by hiding their differences. How many organisations do not elevate an employee because of their Race, Gender, Disability or Sexuality? How many times were you told, you are too experienced for this job, or too edgy?   My guest Heather Day, shares her healing journey with us, including her experiences of burn-out and breast cancer. Heather's transformational journey and study of energy healing led her to create Vibrant Life Women. Heather supports women to release old limiting patterns so they can reconnect to their 'True Self' and create a vibrant life. Contact Heather on 07966067883 https://vibrantlifewomen.co.uk https://heatherdaycoaching.com E book ( Kindle only) You are Beyond Limits https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Are-Beyond-Limits-Rewrite-ebook/dp/B01NAZJKO8

In this new Podcast series, I am addressing relationship in different context. Today's focus is on Self. After seven years of working my model "A six Step Journey to well-being", I have decided to trial it here in my Podcasts. Its a model that I use in my work and it forms the frame of my book (still in editing mode). I want to challenge the idea that we have to fit into a frame in order to be successful. For example, everyone on social media, seems to have the same formula on how to promote yourself and how to be successful. Forgetting that one size doesn't fit all!

In the methodology that I use, I am proposing that being different is the new formula for success. I believe that,  its your difference that gets people's attention. Yet we have learnt to adapt into a frame that says if you don't do it this way that there is something wrong with you. You see this, in families and organisations. Being different gets you labelled as weird, quirky, mad, defiant and so on. People learn to fit in by hiding their differences, only to end up being stressed and unhappy. So many organisations do not elevate an employee because of their difference. Whether that be, Race, Gender, Disability or Sexuality. Or it might be because you have dreadlocks, or pink hair, or that you creative. How many times were you told, you are too experienced for this job, or too edgy? How about in your family, you were told, that you are too sensitive?

Here I want to start the conversation by suggesting that when you are clear on who you are and when others can accept you, for you, there is less need to expect everyone to fit into a framework that is long-outdated! Creating a frame that makes allowances for differences, would, I imagine, invite more curiosity, encourage greater participation and commitment to building relationships.

In the last 5 months, I have had a pause from Podcasting. During that time, I have moved home from London to the South Coast and my daughters have flown the nest. Though recent extended visits from my youngest makes this debatable. This space has allowed me to reflect on my relationship with Podcasting. Why am I doing it and for whom? Would I want to continue and if so, what would I talk about. How can I remain authentic to the process and not get positioned by expectations or even judgement of others. Finally I made a decision to do a series on Relationships.. Yes you heard me. Relationships! Who doesn't like to talk about relationships. whether its your relationship or that of others. In this new series, I am covering various themes on relationships, such as:-

Relationship with Self

Relationship with your Partner

Relationship with Work

Relationship with Spirituality

Relationship with your Body

Relationship with family

Relationship with the Environment 

Relationship with food and so on...

I hope that you can follow me and join in or even be interviewed for an episode. 

This episode focuses on Adversity and surviving adversity through The Resilience factor. I share some of my own experiences of adversity and how I overcame them. I also offer tips on how to manage and stay on course when you are facing challenges. When you are going through adversity, you are mostly functioning in the survival mode. You most likely want to give up. Sometimes all you need is a reminder, a message from someone to keep going. Perhaps this Podcast might be the reminder you need today.

We are constantly walking around with feelings of not enough-ness. I am not good enough, I don't have enough. There isn't enough and on and on. It's like a broken record at the back of our minds. The trouble is, that we have bought into this lie and live our lives with poor self esteem, low self worth and lots of self doubt. We are constantly comparing ourselves or being compared by others. Instead of trying to live our lives by our own wisdom, we are constantly seeking approval. My message in this Podcast, is that I have HAD ENOUGH of setting limits on myself. I have HAD ENOUGH of others trying to set those limits for me.. I think its time to start fighting back. Don't you? It take courage and a dose of "I don't care" sometimes to take those limits off. Hope this can start to spark a conversation, but most importantly know that you are enough.

I don't know where you are right now. It might be a relationship change, bereavement or career change. You maybe feeling a variety of emotions, e.g sadness fear or even excitement.  Many of us who have been at home in the last year, have mixed feelings about going back into the office spaces or even doing social activities. 

Is there a dream or a project that you are putting on hold? Perhaps its a good time to start all over? This Podcast addresses the issue of starting over as well as give a guided exercise on to take the next step on your journey.

What does it mean to be successful as a woman?  Did you know that according to the research, women approach and experience success different to men. We tend to be more circular, intuitive etc, while men are linear in their approach. In this Podcast, I am sharing personal stories of success, in the generation of women in my family. I am also exploring the idea that a woman's greatest source of success, is learning to trust her feelings, her instincts and adapting to life challenges and opportunities as they show up. For too long, women have been laughed at, for being too sensitive or emotional, especially in the work context. Leading  to feelings of shame or failure. Perhaps its time that women start to embrace the gift of intuition and emotions, because when you are truly in alignment with your inner satnav, the decisions you make, almost always will never be wrong.

Getting stuck or lost on life's journey is normal. A crisis, a trauma, a disability can create roadblocks to moving forward in life. Blocks such as self doubt, fear, anger or limiting beliefs can sabotage progress. When this happens, we tend to loose or confidence in ourselves or in life as a whole. A simple act of reminding yourself of a time when you did the impossible can help to get you back on track. This is what Alice in Wonderland did. She had forgotten who she was, she lost her true identity and forgot what her purpose in life was. By reciting 6 impossible things before breakfast, allowed her to find courage to defeat her adversary and have confidence to step into her role as a leader and adventurer. So, can you name 6 impossible things you did today, this week or in your life? How did that change you? is it time that you reconnect to that part of you? Please share your story with me. I would love to hear. On a different note, would you like to be interviewed on my Podcast. I would love to share your story. Why not get in touch.

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical and  mental exhaustion, caused by excessive and  prolonged stress. It occurs when an individual  feels overwhelmed, emotionally drained and  unable to meet constant demands. The World Health  Organization (WHO) has  dubbed stress as the  modern-day health  epidemic. The fallout  from workplace stress  has a huge impact on  global well-being as  well as on our overall  economy. Managing stress and burn-out is both with the individual and his/her employer. Smart employers know that organisations are only as strong as their people. Having suffered with burn out at different stages of my life as well as working with many clients experiencing stress and burn out, I have an ongoing interest in this area. This is why I am passionate about talking about mental wellbeing. I write about it, I address it in therapy and coaching and now I am delivering training to organisations with @sylwia.glowa on this. As we end Mental Health Week Awareness, Todays Podcast hopes to contribute to this ongoing conversation.

David Bowie sang that "Time may change me, But I can't trace time." Life is like that. Throughout our journey here on earth, we will face countless changes. Some will come suddenly and traumatically while some changes will happen gradually and subtly. Can you remember a time when your life fell apart? What did it feel like? Were you transformed in this process? Were you able to see the world differently? Or perhaps you have observed someone you know you can identify with who went through a powerful transformation of change?The idea that life is stable, reliable and neatly packaged is an illusion. Everything changes whether we like it or not. So Don’t take it personally. 

Research done on change, show that we gain wisdom as we go through transformation. What we gain is like champagne that’s been pressed from the fruit of adversity. The research suggests that there is 3 distinct aspect of the wisdom gained. Firstly, Right thinking, that is coming to peace with facts of life. It is what it is. Secondly Self reflection, the ability to see your behavioural patterns and learn from them. Thirdly emotional intelligence, which helps you to become more real, open hearted, genuine. These are the themes in today's podcast.

Are you feeling valued in your current life? Do you depend on others to give you validation? Where are you placing your value right now?  What if I told you that, when you depend on the external factors to make you happy, you will be easily disappointed and you might never get to know your true values. We have been programmed to focus on the external things to make us feel happy. We measure success by what can be seen by the visible eye. We based our self-worth on what we have. We are constantly measuring ourselves or comparing ourselves with others.Attracting value and worth for what you do starts with you. What if I tell you that the way you see yourself is the way that others will treat you? If you have the belief that you are not good enough, others will treat you with little respect. You might find that because of this belief, you end up in relationships whereby you are treated with little respect. This maybe an abusive relationship or it might be situations whereby you are giving too much, leaving you depleted, harbouring resentment or feeling angry all the time. When that source of validation disappears, you can easily lose your balance. You then realise, that your sense of self worth was tied to that thing. Here is where your identity comes into question. You begin to wonder who you are. You begin to ask Who Am I? This place of questioning is a good place to start and no your are not going crazy. Instead you are being given a gift to re-evaluate your life and begin again.

Beliefs are generally formed through our upbringing and life experiences. Most of our core beliefs are formed from childhood via our parents and environment. Limiting beliefs are thoughts, opinions that one believes to be the absolute truth. They tend to have a negative impact on one's life by stopping us from moving forward and growing on a personal and professional level. Limiting beliefs are like a record player, playing annoying songs in that background. It can represent the voices of your culture, family, race and gender etc about how you should act and think.   When you have limiting beliefs about work, e.g I must work hard and play hard or I must keep my head down and not rock the boat, can impact on your ability to overwork or stop you from being your true self in the work environment. Overwork and suppression of your true self, inevitably leads to stress or distress. When you are clear about your core values and is in alignment with these, then your belief system about work can change for the better. This Podcast shares a few scenarios of how limiting beliefs can sabotage well-being. It then focuses on a few things you can do maintain well-being and change your limiting beliefs.

A couple years ago my mother visited me and at the time she was in her early 70s. One day we were going out as a family and she dressed up in a bright pink polo shirt and pink jean, much to the embarrassment of my teenage daughters! But I loved that about my mother and when I spoke to her about aging, she told me that she didn’t feel her age. She told me that she dressed the way she felt and during that time she said that she felt like a teenager. Interestingly, she looked youthful, was happy and lived life with a lot of gratitude each day. Her true essence shone through and anywhere we travelled, my mother seem to be the one that made friends the quickest and easiest. 

Life is vibrant, and unique.  Life can be viewed as a fashion show. On the runway, models show off different styles and the unique colours.  Similarly, humans are unique in the way we look, behave and think. And yet there is so much pressure in fit in, whether that's in organisations or family life.

Whether you are risk taker, fashion follower, consider for a moment if this is reflected in the way you live your life? The next question, is; are you happy with your choice of outfit, and if not, what is stopping you from changing it? Who or what is getting in the way?  What are the consequences of not changing? What are the advantages of staying in your current dress state?

Perhaps you are currently wearing the ideal outfit…. Maybe you can share some of your ideas and what made you accept this state...I would love to hear your stories

The Quote above shared by today's guest, Peter Strange, says it all! Trauma is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility!  Traumatic events are common experiences that occurs in most, if not all our lives. Trauma is an emotional, psychological or physical response to a terrible event like an accident, abuse or natural disaster. We tend to use the word trauma frequently, however, its important to understand that not every traumatic event will have long lasting consequences. Human beings are resilient and the impact of trauma varies depending of multiple factors. What is traumatic for one person, may not be traumatic for another. Trauma can occur as early as in the womb, especially if the mother is abusing drugs or experiencing extreme stress. Evidence shows that it's not just our brain, but our cellular memory too that holds an imprint of past traumatic events. Help should be sort if a traumatic event, leads to debilitating symptoms, such as persistent fatigue, sleep disorders, nightmares, fear, anxiety, flashbacks, depression, and pain etc.

Todays' guest, Peter Strange is an expert when it comes to healing Trauma both physical and emotional. In this Podcast he shares his personal story of trauma from a serious sports injury and how this experience led him on a path to self healing; using his intuition, scientific and spiritual knowledge, which then led to helping others. Through his extensive research, personal and clinical experience and successful results, Peter has created the RESET Method (Realigning Emotions and structure for Energetic Transformation) to help clients heal. This is an incredible interview and just by listening to Peter's voice, you get a sense of his healing abilities. Peter can be contacted on www.peterstrange.co.uk and on Face Book 

Did you know that Hurt and Hope co-exists. How about being broken and being whole too. Did you know that famous people like Oprah Winfrey, Iyanla Vanzant, Maya Angelou and Joyce Meyers, just to name a few experienced immense hurt and the greatest of hope in their lives. What these powerful women have in common is a shared experience of abuse, some teenage pregnancy and neglect. This is how their stories started. But thankfully that's now how its ended. In fact, its ended with more triumph and successes that many would deem impossible.  Their success did not come overnight. It came from an insane ability to 'not give up' and to not live out their lives as victims. Instead they faced their issues, did the healing overtime.  Along the way, the success gained was not just locally, but worldwide; with the hope of helping others to heal. What hurt are you hiding right now in your life? What if you are are able to use your experience to help others? What is it that you need to do right now, to start the process of healing so that when the time comes, you are ready to help someone else. Why not use your hurt, to bring hope to those who need it right now.

Everyone experiences trials. Everyone, from one time or the next have challenges. I am not sure that everyone has had to face the type of adversity which changes the trajectory of their life. I was inspired to do this Podcast today by two of my clients. One of whom just emailed me today to say that she has received an invitation to be interviewed for Cambridge University. This is a young woman who have been human trafficked and has experience sexual exploitation. Statistically most women who have been trafficked do not survive and if they do, there outcomes are not that great. The other client's story is one of overcoming the loss of her husband who died traumatically in  a road traffic accident. Both women's story reminds me of Joseph's Campbells work called The Hero's journey. The Hero's journey is about using the wisdom you gained from life experiences- facing conflicts, trials and then triumph! Having gone through the tests, pain, trials etc, my clients are now at the stage where they are able to use there experiences to influence and motivate others. The message today is that you can overcome adversity. You can use the wisdom from your pain and your trials to help others, just like these two women.

Play and creativity are important aspects of human development. Play reduces cortisol — the hormone responsible for stress, which can increase your risk for heart disease in excess. It releases endorphins. It also helps to keep depression at bay, improves your cognitive health, and lowers the risk of developing age-related neurodegenerative conditions like dementia. Many of us have become accustomed to routine and structure and managing risk. We seem to have lost our way. We have lost that child-like wonder, that spark to create and to grow. The creative Path forces us to follow our curiosity down the rabbit hole and use our creative abilities to problem solve, brainstorm, dream, visualise etc. Therefore creating value for others by selling our skills to clients.  When you create you play. When you play you allow your creative juices to flow! When you are in flow your are at your best.  A no brainer, really. So why not Get playing, Get Creative.

Anger is an emotion that is felt by everyone. Its a natural survival instincts that is felt not just by humans, but in every force of nature. You see it in  animals and even some insects when threatened, how they might lash out to protect their space. So, yes, its okay to be angry and feel angry. However, when your anger or the anger of other's is used to control and cause harm, then that's not okay. Sometimes anger might be masking other problems such as Depression, sexual abuse or even stress. In this Podcast, I talk about Anger, the triggers that leads to anger, impact of anger on self and others as well as share tips on how to manager anger.   

Is Vulnerability a weakness or strength? You would be surprised that in the dictionary its described as a weakness. Is it no wonder that we humans find it so hard to show our vulnerability.  I really love this quote from Brene Brown who says that:

"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage.” “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses" So what about you? Are you a Badass? Listen as I share my story of when vulnerability worked for me and when it didn't. I guess you could say I being vulnerable in this episode by sharing my experiences. 

Today's episode continues on the team of health and wellbeing. I'm interviewing Louise Felstead, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, wife and mum. Louise shares her journey from leaving her home in Moss Side Manchester at age 18 years to go to London and what that was like for a young black woman in the 1980s.  She talks about business, family while managing mental health through therapy, spirituality, play and fun. Hers is a story of challenges, resilience and overcoming. A must listen1

Your emotions matter. Your mental health matters. You matter. Our emotions and mental health affects every area of your. It affects how we feel, think and behave.  Our mental health is in vital in our decision making, how we cope with stress and how we relate to others in our personal and professional. If you break your leg would you not get help so you can heal? Well similarly when parts of your emotional and psychological health is affected, just like your leg your mind needs healing. In this Podcast my focus is on mental health and keeping well.

Your emotions matter. Your mental health matters. You matter. Our emotions and mental health affects every area of your. It affects how we feel, think and behave.  Our mental health is in vital in our decision making, how we cope with stress and how we relate to others in our personal and professional. If you break your leg would you not get help so you can heal? Well similarly when parts of your emotional and psychological health is affected, just like your leg your mind needs healing. In this Podcast my focus is on mental health and keeping well.