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The Whaley Family Hour

The Whaley Family Hour

By Frank Whaley, Heather Whaley
Spend way less than an hour with Frank Whaley (Pulp Fiction, Marvel's Luke Cage, Field of Dreams) and Heather Whaley, author of Eat Your Feelings: Recipes for Self-Loathing as they tell you all the news you wish you could use.
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Nose Wheel
Frank and Heather are here for your evening news brief. Take it or leave it.
January 24, 2022
Shred It Up
Frank and Heather discuss all the important news of the day that you didn't know you wanted to hear.
January 22, 2022
Amber's Next Move
Frank and Heather discuss celebrity divorces and he reveals a long-standing crush, stand up comedy, being too nice, and read a letter from a listener. 
January 15, 2022
Whole Feeds
Frank and Heather discuss new revelations about Betty White, the shameful behavior of Whole Foods, and predictions from 1922.
January 10, 2022
2 1/2 Gallons
Frank and Heather discuss the recent deaths of elderly famous people, the Capitol Insurrection, Oliver Stone, and Tom Brady.
January 07, 2022
Mr. Negative
Frank and Heather discuss the ongoing pandemic, the absolute pandemonium in finding a test, and Frank manages to insult two entire communities in California.
January 04, 2022
Mr. Big n' Meaty
Frank and Heather get ready for Christmas by discussing men behaving badly and stuff. Ho Ho Ho
December 17, 2021
Bonjour Je M'Appelle Nancy Reagan
Frank and Heather answer a listener email about Christmas, talk about Omicron, the reason Nancy Reagan was in the news recently, and plans for the future.
December 13, 2021
The Process
Frank and Heather discuss Succession, the Capitol Rioters, and the end of the Trump Chris Christie bromance.
December 11, 2021
Miami Sound Machine
Frank and Heather discuss other married couples discussing their private stuff in public, the neverending coronavirus, and the Beatles. 
December 03, 2021
Where's my Wopat?
Frank and Heather answer listener mail, discuss celebrity Thanksgiving dishes, and a small fraction of the problems existing in contemporary American society. 
November 22, 2021
Beautiful People
It's Friday and everything is awful. Cheers.
November 19, 2021
I Hate Jake Gyllenhaal
It's Taylor Swift weekend! Did she date John Hinkley Jr? No, but he's got a You Tube channel.
November 12, 2021
This Is Not Science
Frank and Heather discuss celebrities who ran the NYC Marathon, and a terrible fate for one old man.
November 08, 2021
Funky Cold Moderna
Frank and Heather are back and BOOSTED. They discuss torts, new products available at Target, the perils of distance running, and geography.
November 05, 2021
Styylin and Profilin
Frank and Heather answer a listener question and discuss weddings, Footloose, the Taliban, and danger on set.
November 01, 2021
It's a Mess, Man
Frank and Heather wish you and yours a happy Halloween! They discuss Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, Zayn and Yolanda, and what the hell is happening to people.
October 29, 2021
Frank and Heather had a busy weekend. No really. There was music, dancing, kickball, gambling, and Run-DMC. For real.
October 25, 2021
Ancient Beef
It's Friday, October 22, 2021 and Frank and Heather discuss the tragic accidental shooting on a film set, Marjorie Taylor Green, the guy from the Boston Red Sox and what exactly is a vestibule. 
October 22, 2021
Frank and Heather deliver the irresponsible news-ish events of the day. Spoiler: woof
October 18, 2021
Shakin off the Dust
Frank and Heather are back in the closet, giving you all the top-quality content that you've been jonesing for. You're welcome.
October 15, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss all kinds of terrible behavior and offer some movie reviews.
May 17, 2021
Stick Em in the Sink
Frank and Heather have been busy with newspapers and television shows television calling about hygiene. 
May 10, 2021
Another Anniversary Show
Frank and Heather are having another anniversary. How long is this going to go on? Forever???
May 05, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss how bad she is at math and how she totally effed up when the anniversary is. 
March 19, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss baby names and theater. 
March 18, 2021
Fleetwood Mack
Frank and Heather discuss more fungible and non-fungible stuff, and answer a question for the mom of a theater kid.
March 17, 2021
The Queen of Florida
Frank and Heather discuss a reconciliation gone terribly wrong, and a queen losing her g-d mind in Florida.
March 16, 2021
Frank Thee A**hole
Frank and Heather discuss the Grammy Awards and the Oscar nominations. 
March 15, 2021
Who's the Guy
Frank and Heather struggle to remember the names of movies they hated and the people who made them, also who made the ones they liked. They play a new game and learn new things.
March 13, 2021
Joyce Barker
Frank and Heather reminisce about the pandemic, and answer a listener question about joy.
March 11, 2021
A Thousand Cockroaches
Frank and Heather discuss whiny insurrectionists, the world's worst father, and stuff.
March 10, 2021
Naked Beer Slides
Frank and Heather discuss ritual humiliation and Frank's lost love the former Mrs. Bezos. Also a listener question. 
March 09, 2021
Ladies' Day
Frank and Heather discuss nose blowing, getting mugged, and getting vaccinated. 
March 09, 2021
The Unicorn
Frank and Heather discuss celebrity autographs, finding treasures in either Hartford or New Haven, and Guiliani's daughter's new found happiness. 
March 06, 2021
Don't Squeeze the Shaman
Frank and Heather discuss the insurrectionist snowflakes, and answer a listener question about The Freshman, and talk about lizards.
March 05, 2021
Bully for You
Frank and Heather discuss bullying and have different ideas on how to handle a bully.
March 04, 2021
Pop 'em One
Frank and Heather discuss the Lord, bizarre political injuries, sporting events both good and bad, other things. 
March 02, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss the Golden Globes, Guinness records, cock fights, and Taylor Swift.
March 01, 2021
Meet Bobby
Frank and Heather discuss the stupidest would-be murderer, a brush with Bobby Flay, horse racing, sauerbraten, and documentaries. 
February 27, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss an upcoming anniversary and answer a listener question. Also clocks.
February 26, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss what to do if you're having an emergency and you're the Optimum guy.
February 24, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss an unexpected kiss, and another one of the world's worst people. 
February 23, 2021
The Franco School
Frank and Heather discuss allegations surrounding the acting school run by James Franco, and other stuff.
February 22, 2021
Love Bomb
Frank and Heather discuss astrology, and horrible person, Shia LaBoeuf. 
February 20, 2021
No One Gives a Damn About Mars
Frank and Heather discuss the Mars rover landing, criticism, and the things your dentist knows you're up to.
February 19, 2021
Bowel Jogging
Frank and Heather discuss various bodily systems. 
February 17, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss why it is a better idea to just stay inside, celebrity abs, and American Idol.
February 16, 2021
Ranch Hands
Frank and Heather discuss Trump's slip and fall attorney, Ashley Judd's terrible day, and matricide gone wrong. 
February 13, 2021
Tantrum Sex
Frank and Heather talk about more cancelations and the surprising love life of disgusting member of congress Marjorie Taylor Greene. 
February 12, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss elimination and how it is important and sometimes loud, and terrible snow-themed accidents.
February 10, 2021
Where's Daddy?
Frank and Heather discuss stupidity, Marilyn Manson, Warren Buffet, and other stuff. 
February 10, 2021
The Cancel Council
Frank and Heather discuss more bizarre Armie Hammer stuff, Corey Feldman, homegrown terrorists, total lunatics, and why hasn't Mel Gibson been canceled yet.
February 09, 2021
How Was the Buffet Though
Frank and Heather discuss trivial facts, raunchy facts, disappointing racist facts, baseball facts, and facts about WWII. 
February 06, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss disgusting people Marilyn Manson, Armie Hammer, and Russian YouTubers going way too far - nyet!
February 04, 2021
(Wild Caught)
Frank and Heather discuss some truly vile people. 
February 03, 2021
Frank and Heather play a rather grim game with surprising results. 
February 02, 2021
Cleaning Up
Frank and Heather discuss the passing of Dustin Diamond, an unfortunate end in Chelsea, and people cleaning up on YouTube by literally cleaning up.
February 01, 2021
Safe Word
Frank and Heather discuss someone named Ioan, and an update on the guy who got stuck in the chastity cage.
January 30, 2021
Various Concoctions
Frank and Heather discuss the role of women in a marriage according to Kirk Cameron, noted whacko, other whackos, and what the hell is in the tuna at Subway?
January 29, 2021
Hollywood Swingers
Frank and Heather discuss Hollywood, the late great Cloris Leachman, psychotic football players, and what Angelina Jolie buys at Target. 
January 28, 2021
Is That a Pardon in Your Pocket?
Frank and Heather discuss entitled oil-heir Armie Hammer and what he has to do with baking soda, grounds for divorce in Tennessee, and pocket pardons. 
January 26, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss more baseball, an incident at home, the erection of the insurrection, answer a listener's question about anniversaries, and say goodbye to Hank Aaron. 
January 22, 2021
You Like?
Frank and Heather discuss baseball, the history of baseball, and some current baseball events on this exciting baseball podcast. 
January 21, 2021
A New Day
Frank and Heather discuss the most important events of the day including who is entitled to a cardboard cut-out of themselves.
January 20, 2021
America's Badass Boss
Frank and Heather wish Dolly Parton a happy birthday, discuss luxury air travel, and say goodbye to the Trump kids. 
January 19, 2021
Suncha Buncha Bull***t
Frank and Heather discuss Dax Shepherd, alternate uses for Boric Acid, and celebrity brands. 
January 16, 2021
What's in Your Pocket?
Frank and Heather discuss the COVID vaccine, Disneyland, Armie Hammer and what you'll do for love. 
January 15, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss the Bee Gees, new ways to insult someone, and more about the ongoing dystopia. 
January 14, 2021
Smokin' Ladies
Frank and Heather discuss a scandal from 1910, the Sex and the City reboot, and how Debra Messing should play Lucille Ball. 
January 13, 2021
A Different Kind of Lockdown
Frank and Heather discuss a really unfortunate hacking, and the yahoo parade on display in the nation. 
January 12, 2021
How Big A Pussy Is Pence?
Frank and Heather discuss the obvious, plus Jodie Foster and Swing Kids.
January 07, 2021
Frank and Heather discuss the end of the world.
January 06, 2021
Dough-minion Parts
Frank and Heather are back and it's a brand new season for a brand new year! 
January 05, 2021
Naughty Teens
Frank and Heather have one more gift, and it is a suggestion for how to teach a naughty teen a lesson.
December 24, 2020
Stephanie Is Not Jesus
Ho Ho Ho it's your Christmas bonus number two!
December 23, 2020
Christmas Bonus
Frank and Heather have a spirited discussion about the idiots of the world. 
December 22, 2020
Mysterious Teens
Frank and Heather discuss radicalized teenagers in Pennsylvania, cats, answer a listener question, and have a big announcment! 
December 18, 2020
The One Before Fifty
Frank and Heather discuss Connie Chung, Kirk Cameron, how to use a superspreader event to your advantage, and a new revenue stream for Heather.
December 18, 2020
Nasty Parts
Frank and Heather discuss Ali Larter and Leonard Roberts, Pamela and Tommy Lee, and Frank tells a story about an actor who was completely wasted on set. 
December 17, 2020
It Puts the Lotion in the Gland
Frank and Heather talk about everyone's favorite holiday movie The Silence of the Lamb, Texas School Board shenanigans, answer a listener question and fully cover the anal gland dog issue. 
December 16, 2020
Letting 'em Rip
Frank and Heather discuss more Shia LaBoeuf revelations, the future of Erika Jayne, and answer a listener letter while providing you with an image you don't need or want.
December 15, 2020
Shia LaBeouf
Frank and Heather discuss appliances, FKA Twigs and Shia LaBeouf, and offer a listener conflicting advice. 
December 11, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss historical boxing. For real. 
December 11, 2020
Messy Bun Gettin' It Done
Frank and Heather are back and Frank is super grumpy and not at all excited about the gifts celebrities are giving. 
December 09, 2020
Quiz Show
Frank and Heather take a quiz. 
December 04, 2020
Rudy Toot Toot
Frank and Heather discuss the totally over the top Trump Show, a RHOBH news flash, cats and kittens and Mike Tyson. 
December 03, 2020
Frank Whaley-Sucks
Frank and Heather discuss William Barr, Rudy Giuliani's criminal history, The Undoing, and ten actors who made it onto a list for some reason.
December 02, 2020
Happy Birthday Winston Churchill!
It's Heather's birthday so she and Frank discuss Glenn Close, Felicity Huffman, and Frank's underwear. 
November 30, 2020
Gobble Gobble Mofos
Frank and Heather discuss some stuff. Jeez. 
November 26, 2020
Three Quarters Whiskey
Frank and Heather discuss Frank Sinatra, Thanksgiving, and Frank tells some Randy Quaid stories. 
November 24, 2020
Family Secrets
Frank and Heather discuss poetry, lost pets, family secrets, and celebrities behind bars. 
November 23, 2020
Wild Dogs
Frank and Heather discuss the future of Don-Coronavirus-Junior and his weird girlfriend Guilfoyle, more animal attacks, and a man for Frank's mom.
November 20, 2020
Frank and Heather fight off panic attacks by discussing Massimo Giannulli's new prison lewk, a Harvey Weinstein update, and something foul from KFC. 
November 19, 2020
Flip Flop
Frank and Heather discuss computers, pizza, and a psychopath in Georgia. 
November 18, 2020
All About 7-11
Frank and Heather bring you all the news about 7-11 that you didn't ask for and don't want! They also read a letter from a listener who has some THINGS going on. 
November 17, 2020
Fancy Camp
Frank and Heather discuss the disastrous coronavirus testing program in the United States, the Boy Scouts, and fancy kids. 
November 16, 2020
Moose *#@$
Frank and Heather discuss moose, super spreader game nights, Vince Vaughn, and call it a day because this has been a rough one.
November 13, 2020
I'm Thinking of Ending Things
Frank and Heather discuss coronavirus, overhyped films and television shows, and a celebrity auction. 
November 12, 2020
The Big Dictionary
Frank and Heather discuss Leonardo DiCaprio, words and the people who work with words, and there is a squirrel in the attic.
November 11, 2020
You're Fired
Frank and Heather discuss being fired, coronavirus, gymnastics, Nascar, and Wentworth Miller. 
November 10, 2020
Dancing in the Streets
Frank and Heather discuss the overwhelming joy they feel at the ousting of Donald J. Trump. Ha ha ha ha ha 
November 09, 2020
Frank and Heather await the results of the election while they discuss the mass murder of minks, and how Frank should replace Johnny Depp in the Fantastic Beasts movie because he's a far superior actor and will work for cheap.
November 06, 2020
Kevin Sorbo Is Mad!
Frank and Heather discuss OCD, Hercules actor Kevin Sorbo's whiny baby tears, televangelist whacko Paula White, and hustlin'.
November 05, 2020
Danielle Trump
As they constantly hit refresh on the electoral map, Frank and Heather discuss life on the ranch with Kanye, Lori Loughlin's rough time in the clink, and what's going to happen to Donald Trump.
November 04, 2020
Major Events in Puking
Frank and Heather discuss the election even though they promised to provide a break from thinking about the election, and then they talk about drinking so much that they puke. Fun!
November 03, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss election anxiety, Johnny Depp, hot dogs, and Frank's mustache. 
November 02, 2020
Pack a Go Bag
Frank and Heather wish a very special lady a happy birthday, and share a dire warning from New Zealand. 
October 30, 2020
Wives of the Sexy Guys
Frank and Heather discuss the Wives of the Deplorable Facebook group, and deep dive into a listener's upcoming date. Will he be the love of her life or will he drug her and throw her into the trunk of his car? Just like a swing state, it's a toss-up. 
October 29, 2020
A Giant Tub of Margarine
Frank and Heather discuss the Dodgers, Trump's disaster in Omaha, and a listener who is looking for love. 
October 28, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss spousal murder, sinkholes, even worse sinkholes, and near death experiences. 
October 27, 2020
Hayride From Hell
Frank and Heather make amends and discuss a terrible hayride accident, and a Felicity Huffman update. 
October 26, 2020
Lay off the Child Torture
Frank and Heather discuss the presidential debate, the Criterion Collection, and really horrific parents. 
October 23, 2020
Hotdog Dominatrix
Frank and Heather discuss divorce messaging and the upcoming holiday season which is sure to be a huge bummer. 
October 22, 2020
Rapid Test
Frank and Heather give you a quickie that will be over before the time it takes for you to get the results of your highly suspect rapid COVID test, because that's what has been going on today. 
October 21, 2020
Actually How Are You
Frank and Heather give a birthday shout out to Kamala Harris, and a different kind of shout out to Scott Baio and Chris Pratt, answer a question about a mid-life crisis, and provide some tips for a vegetarian Thanksgiving that literally nobody asked for and nobody wants, 
October 20, 2020
Booty Hole Close-up
Frank and Heather discuss the colon, Dr Fauci, Donald Trump, Mrs. Heisler, and The Human Centipede. 
October 19, 2020
The Delaware Punch
Frank and Heather discuss the demise of Tab, Trump and his bff Q, and the TONY AWARDS PEOPLE!
October 16, 2020
(Your Name) Loves Cox
Frank and Heather discuss Tommy Lee, John Boehner, and The Rock, plus some horrible news. 
October 15, 2020
Way Too Much Information
Frank and Heather talk at great depth about buttholes, also more super-spreaders, brain worms, and a sandwich saga. 
October 14, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss making out with your co-stars, super-spreaders, Like Sunday Like Rain, and movie food. There's accents, too!
October 13, 2020
Hee Haw
Frank and Heather discuss some bad parenting and old television, and consider what might be done to encourage the young'uns to vote. Also there's scatting!
October 09, 2020
Everybody Loved Me
Frank and Heather discuss country music, Robert Redford, partying your face off, and the awkward moment when Pence came offstage.
October 08, 2020
Gropey Groperson
Frank and Heather deliver non-breaking news, deliver a tribute to the late great Richard Farnsworth, and receive some feedback.
October 07, 2020
The Wheels on the Bus
Frank and Heather are coming at you from a bad day in the Whaley house. They talk about Trump and answer some listener questions. 
October 06, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss the gaslighting of America, Donald Trump's COVID-cavalcade, and whether Deepak Chopra is a fan of the Impractical Jokers. 
October 05, 2020
Trump in the Bubble
Welp. It has been a week.
October 02, 2020
Yogibo Boys
Frank and Heather are back with an all new and totally different season. In this episode they discuss Helen Reddy, how this pandemic has changed the world forever, and their answer to the Boogaloo Boys. 
October 01, 2020
Big Ball Boogie
Frank and Heather discuss the shit show that was the first presidential debate, Don Jr. needing an intervention, and the death of heartthrob Mac Davis. 
September 30, 2020
Call the Police
Frank and Heather discuss heavily tattooed people scaring children, the arrest of the party animal of Maryland, and tonight's presidential debate. 
September 29, 2020
Recycled What?!
Frank and Heather start out discussing the goings on at home, then transition to a bizarre and disgusting story out of Vietnam, and wish Bruce Springsteen a happy birthday. 
September 25, 2020
Unruly Grizzlies
Frank and Heather talk about the promised grizzly attack, Trivial Facts, booing Donald Trump, and you guessed it - poop.
September 24, 2020
Are You Poisoning Me?
Frank and Heather discuss poisoning a spouse, and a really terrible person. Like, truly awful. Ugh.
September 23, 2020
Charismatic Christian Parachutes
Frank and Heather discuss charismatic ultra religious people, Patricia Heaton, and what is going on in the Florida Zoom rooms?!
September 22, 2020
Three Little Beans
Frank and Heather stir the pot in this episode and discuss Lindsey Graham, Jared Kushner, Teddy Mellencamp, stool samples, and Aunt Becky. 
September 21, 2020
The Bell End
Frank and Heather discuss Aunt Becky and all the lovely options for her to explore in her fancy prison, Jared Kushner, and the accordion. 
September 18, 2020
Jumpin' Jesus
Frank and Heather discuss patriotic education, Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, Teddy Mellencamp, Gwen and Blake, and stupid fights. 
September 17, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss junior high school, terrible teachers, Frank answers Joe's question about Pulp Fiction, they give Embassy Suites a free ad, plus a shoutout to Albuquerque. 
September 16, 2020
Dude Energy
Frank and Heather discuss Chris Evans, Vanderbilt University, the Bible, RHOBH, Sam Waterston, and literature. You know, the usual.
September 15, 2020
One Ball One Strike
Frank and Heather come up with an interesting way to use Pay-Per-View to save the Republic, and answer a listener question about music.
September 14, 2020
The Birthday Party
Frank and Heather make a phone call and tell you what to eat and drink because everything is bad and it's going to get much, much worse. 
September 11, 2020
Ad Nauseam
Frank and Heather discuss the plight of the Trump cultist snowflakes and their anatomical parts, and provide a behind the scenes look at the podcast in answer to a question from the listener. 
September 10, 2020
Trump's J*zz
Frank and Heather discuss the news that Donald Trump was caught saying he knew how bad the coronavirus would be, and how he has used the DOJ to prevent him from submitting a DNA sample in the case brought against him by E. Jean Carroll. 
September 09, 2020
The Most Informative Podcast
Frank and Heather go way back to the olden days of the turkey vulture because he has returned. Also listeners keep asking questions, and they keep answering them.
September 08, 2020
Phonin' it In
Frank and Heather bemoan the sorry state of national affairs and whether Ryan Reynolds is the only one who can save us. 
September 04, 2020
Dirty Dogs and Perriwigs
Frank and Heather visit September 3, 1665, and provide really important advice to a listener.
September 03, 2020
Midlife Crisisin' It
Frank and Heather discuss Donald Mo*********n Trump, Juicy Joe, Brad Pitt, and American Airlines because 2020 is exactly like that. 
September 02, 2020
By the Waist Side
Frank and Heather discuss etymology, the Bible, the KGB and cows. 
September 01, 2020
Lightning Round
Frank and Heather discuss a bizarre use of an online game, answer a listener's marriage query, and everyone's favorite segment Trivial Facts Straight Out The Whaley House. 
August 31, 2020
Do Better Next Time
Frank and Heather discuss The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Stockard Channing, the shit show RNC, and other shit shows of 2020.
August 28, 2020
Creepin' Round My Backstairs
Frank and Heather discuss the Melania Ivanka situation, Gordon Lightfoot, rollerskating trauma, and a website update!
August 27, 2020
Please Send Help
Frank and Heather discuss the ongoing conversation about his Jon Voight story, and he shares some messages he received from not-so-well wishers. They also discuss the sexy sexy Falwells, Sharpie Balls, and an update from a listener. 
August 26, 2020
Slap Happy
Frank and Heather discuss the big hoopla made over his tweet about crazy old man Jon Voight, with a special appearance by Dean Cain which nobody asked for, and answer more listener mail.
August 25, 2020
Pinched Nerve Weekend
Frank and Heather discuss their weekend of the pinched nerve, Frank's new look, and all about Jerry Falwell Jr., Becki, and the pool guy
August 24, 2020
Jail Birds
Frank and Heather discuss tiny little mice, Massimo and Lori's sentences, prison romance, the Real Housewives of New York City, Taylor Swift, and The Jimmy Show.
August 21, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss the political opinions of one of the NY Housewives, Kanye, Kevin Spacey, and say Hej to a listener in Denmark.
August 20, 2020
From Our Home to Yours
Frank and Heather introduce a new exciting segment, and discuss themes and subjects. 
August 19, 2020
Prison Wife
Frank and Heather discuss Lori and Massimo heading to prison, and answer a listener's email. 
August 18, 2020
All Your Dreams Are Coming True
Frank and Heather recount some trouble at the supermarket, what they'd do if homeless, and announce big exciting news. 
August 17, 2020
James Woods Has Terrible Breath
Frank and Heather discuss bird attacks, Curtis Mayfield, and the horrible breath of terrible person James Woods. 
August 15, 2020
Slow Times
Frank and Heather engage in a seriously messed up competition. 
August 13, 2020
What Are You, French?
Frank and Heather discuss meth-induced psychosis, your very own Blockbuster, and try to help out a listener. 
August 12, 2020
Bennydick Cumbersnatch
Frank and Heather discuss the Vice Presidential Candidate, Zak Efron, and Benedict Cumberbatch. 
August 11, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss what classes the coronavirus will be taking this fall, a fascinating story from history, Ghislaine and George, and answer a listener question that makes them both uncomfortable.
August 10, 2020
Banana Fingers
Frank and Heather discuss bullet journals, toothaches, and other very interesting topics. 
August 07, 2020
Things Have Gotten Worse
Frank and Heather jump through enormous hoops to bring you this episode, full of discussion about how very very bad things are.
August 06, 2020
Speak in the Belly
Frank and Heather hunker down during a tornado warning to bring you word from Samuel Pepys, and to wish several important people a happy birthday.
August 04, 2020
Swinging With Birx and Fauci
Frank and Heather discuss Drs. Birx and Fauci, the Obamas, a trip to a local mall, and if the coronavirus has hurt the local swingers scene.
August 03, 2020
A Clammy Armpit of a Man
Frank and Heather discuss the many ways we are doomed.
July 31, 2020
A Nice Nest Egg
It's not veiled prostitution, it's Frank and Heather talking about writing and reading listener mail, thank god.
July 30, 2020
What About Those Beans
Frank and Heather discuss William Barr, beans, sharks, and Frank's Emmy snub.
July 29, 2020
Lies Lies and More Lies
Frank and Heather discuss our lying president, and also their own dishonesty.
July 28, 2020
A Monster of Staggering Charmlessness
Frank and Heather discuss celebrities behaving badly in the wild. 
July 27, 2020
You're Nobunny Till Somebunny Loves You
Frank and Heather discuss a musical artist neither of them have ever heard of before.
July 24, 2020
Sixty Five Percent
On this very special episode, Frank and Heather are joined by an opinionated guest. 
July 23, 2020
Blow Your Horn
Frank and Heather take a learner's permit test, and discuss the down and dirty and disgusting Ghislaine Maxwell situation, and the bird update you've been waiting for. 
July 22, 2020
Note to Self
Frank and Heather jump into their exploration vehicle to examine the career of the incomparable Esther Rolle.
July 22, 2020
Birthday Boy
Hot damn it's Frank's birthday so he's going to tell a long winded story about his worst birthday ever!
July 20, 2020
Here's a a refreshing sorbet to keep you satisfied until season three roars in like a mofo.
July 17, 2020
100 Days of Clositude
Frank and Heather take a walk down memory lane on this, the one hundredth episode of whatever this is. 
July 17, 2020
Nine-y Nine
Frank and Heather discuss their plans for evading the long arm of the law, and hold on to your hat, because season two comes to an exciting finish tomorrow!
July 15, 2020
Exercise Is Bad for You
Frank and Heather discuss America's favorite health nuts Johnny Depp and Donald Trump.
July 14, 2020
Grab a towel because Frank and Heather are taking a deep dive into an actor you think you know but you don't know.
July 13, 2020
Big Balls Billy
Frank and Heather discuss feces again. Also Fauci and an update on the terribly depressing Johnny Depp trial. 
July 10, 2020
Cameo XXXL
Frank and Heather discuss a terrible couple's day in court, Ghislaine's day in prison, and a new business venture for Frank. Plus an update on the ribs.
July 09, 2020
Love Your Body, Live Your Life
Frank and Heather do a shallow dive into WKRP in Cincinnati, discuss what the hell is wrong with Dr. Birx, and make a call to a magical humanoid.
July 08, 2020
Rotten Tomatoes
Frank and Heather discuss the alternate content options, Netflix offerings, and a delicious recipe you'll want to write down so get a writing implement ready.
July 07, 2020
Time to Make The Egg
Frank and Heather make good on providing the content requested by the listener. 
July 06, 2020
A Nasty Moment
Frank and Heather discuss how they're not doing the Fourth of July this year, send birthday wishes to Tom Cruise, and share some news that will especially excite Heather's sister Becky regarding Vanilla Ice.
July 03, 2020
At What Cost Gorka?
Frank and Heather discuss the possibility of getting a message from The Mooch. 
July 02, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss the need to provide some content on this podcast, and the correct pronunciation of the word POTATO.
July 01, 2020
Frank and Heather discuss Marcia Strassman, Joyce DeWitt, Rand Paul, Kanye,  Johnny Depp, and Dr Fauci. 
June 30, 2020
Bartles & Jaymes & Harry & Meghan
Frank and Heather discuss stupid people, country music, having yard drinks with Harry and Meghan, and if you've been waiting all weekend for an update on Frank's ribs, today is your lucky day.
June 29, 2020
Tube Full of Demons
Frank and Heather are back on the phone with Jesus, and are being seduced by the demons in the tube.
June 26, 2020
Jesus Take Our Call
Frank and Heather make a call to Jesus and it turns out he won't take their call. They discuss Bernie Madoff, Julia Roberts, and The Style Council. 
June 25, 2020
Angry Bird
Frank and Heather discuss something that happened to Frank yesterday, and you might laugh, but it's not funny. Seriously, stop laughing.
June 24, 2020
A Throbbing Migraine of a Movie
Frank and Heather discuss Trump's rally, the film Cold Dog Soup, Heather's trip to New Haven, and Lady Gaga's pants.
June 22, 2020
Bumble and Bumble
Frank and Heather discuss the death of Ian Holm, what Frank will do when Heather dies (Bumble?), and the idea to read only books by Black authors and not Val Kilmer's book for now.
June 19, 2020
Unhappy Days
Frank and Heather discuss bad news from Texas, something upsetting from Irish history, whether or not Camilla Parker Bowles stanks, and a fun game to play during Trump's rally in Tulsa.
June 18, 2020
President She
Frank and Heather discuss John Bolton's tell-all extravaganza, Chris Delia succumbing to his "lifestyle" and the wonders of the guillotine. 
June 17, 2020
The Plume Part Doo
Frank and Heather revisit their old friend Gaseous Plume, and discuss treasure troves of baseball cards, a terrible night out at Lynch's Pub, and the Shake Shack Sham.
June 16, 2020
Mailing May
Frank and Heather discuss the recent insane behavior from Ted Cruz, the bizarre history of sending children through the mail, and Heather spreads some fake news. 
June 15, 2020
Dr. Fauci's Tips for a Sexy Quarantine
Frank and Heather discuss do-gooding celebrities, coronavirus sex tips, and racist lawmakers. 
June 11, 2020
Hump Day
Frank and Heather discuss the new dictionary. And stuff.
June 10, 2020
Hands Off Your Pee Pee Hole
Frank and Heather discuss way too much about pee pee and pee pee holes. Enjoy.
June 09, 2020
The New Marky Mark
Frank and Heather discuss Marky Mark's hate crime spree, Ken Cuccinelli, Pete Berg, and Juicy Joe's entrance into the boxing ring.
June 08, 2020
Witch-it-awwww State
Frank and Heather break it down on Ivanka, Heather attends a protest, and Frank chews the fat.
June 06, 2020
What's Eatin' Grandma?
Frank and Heather discuss on the job accidents and angry bosses, hungry guys eating their pain in the ass grandma, Kenny G and Richard Nixon. People. Register to vote, and then vote.
June 05, 2020
Let's Fence Him In
Frank and Heather experience general malaise and a lack of substantive content and fall back on yesterday's news. 
June 04, 2020
Don't Shit in My Wig
Frank and Heather discuss implicit bias, white supremacy, an accusation of wig defecation, and Heather's Latin Club assault.
June 03, 2020
Aunt Eefa
Frank and Heather discuss the end of the world (again). 
June 01, 2020
Shady Gators
Frank and Heather discuss the shit storm also known as the US of A. 
May 30, 2020
Everything is Awful
Frank and Heather discuss how it feels like the world is ending, and a local man getting sexy in the parking lot at TJ Maxx which is just par for the course these days.
May 29, 2020
Better Than Heaven
We could all use some beautiful music right now, and lucky for us Ed Harcourt joins us on today's episode all the way from jolly old England which is not so jolly these days. Head over to where you get your music and download all Ed's music. You will be so happy you did. Cheers.
May 28, 2020
Luxe 3000
Frank and Heather have been super busy but still managed to get this to you today, because that's the kind of people they are. They care. 
May 27, 2020
Gross Cracks
Frank and Heather discuss a news update from the Ozarks, Frank tells a story about the grotto at the Playboy Mansion and a handsy Hugh Hefner, and they talk about the vacuum cleaner. 
May 26, 2020
Waterloo Teeth
It's Memorial Day, time for Frank and Heather to talk about past wars, and for Heather to bust out some information she learned while chaperoning a fifth-grade field trip, and for Frank to relate something he sort of remembers reading. 
May 25, 2020
Mr. Everybody Loves Me
Frank and Heather spend ten minutes discussing how Frank needs to turn it around, making and receiving prank calls, and the grande dame of stage and screen Kitty Carlisle. Sorry Kitty.
May 23, 2020
Are You There God? It's Me, Frank
Frank and Heather have reached the end of the week and they are fed up. They discuss Frank's adoration of Morrissey, his film Like Sunday, Like Rain, stories from Hoffa, Field of Dreams, and a listener wants to know about union rules for some reason. Then they get into a brief but existential discussion about what's up with God.
May 22, 2020
The Road to My Horizon
Frank and Heather discuss consent - its very important - Harry Styles, J Lo, and Amy Klobuchar. Also Heather cries. 
May 21, 2020
Out of the Mowin' Game
It has been a day. Please enjoy.
May 20, 2020
The Lawn Mower Saga
Frank and Heather discuss the Chicago Bulls, mowing the lawn, and divorce.
May 19, 2020
James Woods Is an Idiot
Frank and Heather spread fake news and go OFF on idiots including James Woods.
May 18, 2020
Season Two: Episode Six: Six Feet Apart or Six Feet Under
Frank and Heather are out of patience. Also they talk about the prom.
May 16, 2020
Season Two: Episode Five: We're Back
Frank and Heather discuss how Donald Trump is trying to kill all of us, how Fauci stole Frank's style, and Frank tells a story about The Doors.
May 15, 2020
Season Two: Episode Four: The Drew Barrymore of Iceland
Frank and Heather make big plans.
May 14, 2020
Season Two: Episode Three: Beforetimes
Frank and Heather discuss their busy morning, Broadway, and teachers who should have been arrested. 
May 13, 2020
Season Two: Episode Two: JK Livin
Heather tells a nice story followed by a horrible story, and Matthew McConaughey and Frank get really very political 
May 12, 2020
Episode One: This is Just About the Doody
Frank and Heather are back! It's season two and it's got ALL THE STUFF. 
May 11, 2020
Episode Fifty: Loud and Furious
This is it! The big 5-0 where Frank and Heather lament the loss of beloved establishments J. Crew and Souplantation, the genius of Linda Ronstadt, fun facts about Tom Selleck, and what to expect for season two - coming on Monday!
May 07, 2020
Episode Forty Nine: She's Got Guts
Frank and Heather discuss the future of Hollywood background extras, Kevin Corrigan, Sid Cesar, and a call with Frank's mom.
May 06, 2020
Episode Forty Eight: The Anniversary Special
On their anniversary Frank and Heather discuss what gifts they gave each other, the highlights of their marriage including two economic recessions, Gabe Kaplan, getting drunk at Foxwoods, and how it's such great news that Trump has canceled the coronavirus. 
May 05, 2020
Episode Forty Seven: Willy Nilly
Frank and Heather discuss love in the time of Corona, the future of the Pod(emi)cast, and Boris Johnson's willy nilly. 
May 04, 2020
Episode Forty Six: Listen to Alec Baldwin
Frank and Heather discuss the internet, books, and the wisdom of Alec Baldwin.
May 03, 2020
Episode Forty Five: Nazis vs. Murder Hornets
Frank turns over a new leaf, Heather introduces a game, and the world sinks further into the unholy abyss.
May 02, 2020
Episode Forty Four: Crop-Dusted
Frank and Heather discuss 90's music, mix tapes, and Frank finally tells his Chubb Rock story. TGIF
May 01, 2020
Episode Forty Three: Hi Sean Penn, It's Me, Frank Whaley
Frank and Heather discuss UFOs, Harrison Ford, and how Sean Penn will save us all from the coronavirus. 
April 30, 2020
Episode Forty Two: World's Sexiest Bon Vivant
Frank and Heather discuss surprising and upsetting facts about LBJ, Corona-days in Switzerland, and answer a listener question. 
April 29, 2020
Episode Forty One: Vanilla Extract
Frank and Heather discuss LHOTP, Rob Lowe, and the sweet sweet smell of Ryan Reynolds.
April 28, 2020
Episode Forty: The Magic Forest
Frank and Heather discuss divorce, psychotic Tilt-a-Whirl operators, and a new exercise regimen. 
April 27, 2020
Episode Thirty Nine: Muscle and Frank
Frank and Heather talk about their feelings about Kristin and Jay's divorce, and make big plans for when this is all over. 
April 26, 2020
Episode Thirty Eight: Feel Good Memes
Frank and Heather discuss feel good stuff, the future, and monkeys.
April 25, 2020
Episode Thirty Seven: The Legacy Episode
Frank and Heather discuss sweatshirts, neck lifts, fillers, and what makes a legacy. Also a requested story about Swing Kids.
April 24, 2020
Episode Thirty Six: Boy
Frank and Heather discuss sad songs, casting ideas for the corona-series, and Frank has a story for the listener.
April 23, 2020
Episode Thirty Five: Hump Day
Frank and Heather discuss Sean Hannity, Stevie Wonder, and a special shout out to Tony Danza.
April 22, 2020
Episode Thirty Four: Go Home Tucker
Frank and Heather discuss ham-faced Tucker Carlson, Instagram Live, and make apologies to Bruce Springsteen.
April 21, 2020
Episode Thirty Three: Take the Shot Frank
Frank and Heather discuss protests, Chuck Berry, Colleen Dewhurst, the ISS, and the sex club Plato's Retreat.
April 20, 2020
Episode Thirty Two: GET A MASK
Frank and Heather discuss pandemic dreams, the pending Civil War, the Countess, and answer a question from a listener.
April 19, 2020
Episode Thirty One: Thanks Wolfgang Suck
Frank and Heather discuss The Big Unit, Bruce Springsteen, and shoplifting. Plus a recipe and listener questions.
April 18, 2020
Episode Thirty: Dealing With My Doo Doo
Frank and Heather discuss stalkers, the history of the bathroom, Chris Pine up to his old tricks, and answer listener questions.
April 17, 2020
Episode Twenty Nine: Dr. Frank
Frank and Heather discuss not being a first responder, something horrible that happened in Brooklyn, and answer listener questions. 
April 16, 2020
Episode Twenty Eight: It's Not Dunkirk
Frank and Heather discuss Wallace Stegner, Mary Shelley, anal glands, and Dr. Birx. 
April 15, 2020
Episode Twenty Seven: Life on the Flipside
Frank and Heather talk an awful lot about a television pilot called Life on the Flipside. 
April 14, 2020
Episode Twenty Six: OJ Was the Show Show
Frank and Heather discuss OJ, Bobby Flay, Martha Stewart, and quarantine life.
April 13, 2020
Episode Twenty Five: Doctor Loosey Goosey
Frank and Heather discuss the epicenter of germs, the groove of quarantine, home economics, and the Easter Bunny.
April 12, 2020
Episode Twenty Four: Marriage is a Constant Thing
Frank and Heather discuss marriage and parenting hacks, beautiful New Mexico, Boris Johnson, and Kirstie Alley's pool. 
April 11, 2020
Episode Twenty Three: You Do You, I Do I
Frank and Heather discuss tattoos, lists of accomplishments, the name "Frank," and Kajagoogoo.
April 10, 2020
Episode Twenty Two: Why, Jon Voight, Why
Frank and Heather discuss Jon Voight, learning uncomfortable truths about themselves, an encounter between William Shatner and Phyllis Diller, and licking things.
April 09, 2020
Episode Twenty One: This Is a Family Show
Frank and Heather discuss baseball, an update from Babu, Dennis Quaid, a metaphor, and Frank forgets what "family hour" means.
April 08, 2020
Episode Twenty: Bobblehead
Frank and Heather discuss Ivanka Trump, a Chris Pine update, lackadaisical social distancing, and announce a fundraiser for the local food pantry.
April 07, 2020
Episode Nineteen: Some Bad News with Frank and Heather
Frank and Heather discuss Hydroxychloroquine the mini-series, Frank issues formal apologies, makers and takers, Garth and Trisha.
April 06, 2020
Episode Eighteen: Maldives Me Alone
Frank and Heather discuss more about canned mushrooms, Andrew Cuomo, Steven Spielberg, Ben Affleck, foraging for food, and pitch a great new sitcom idea. 
April 05, 2020
Episode Seventeen: Just Stay Home Chris Pine
Frank and Heather discuss their ongoing struggle to make this podcast, Chris Pine, what happens if they get sick, the positive effects of the plague, and Heather's sister Becky has a score to settle. 
April 04, 2020
Episode Sixteen: Fancy Friday
Frank and Heather celebrate the end of the work week, homeslice. 
April 03, 2020
Episode Fifteen: L'Oreal Excellence
Frank and Heather discuss World War II tactical maneuvers, White House Senior Advisor Ivanka Trump, Heather's days as the worst waitress in New York City, and what Frank has in common with Gary Janetti.
April 02, 2020
Episode Fourteen: Just the Facts
Frank and Heather discuss more about a mid-80's episode of The Equalizer, The Goop Lab, Blue Death, and Yellow Fever.
April 01, 2020
Episode Thirteen: Hey Doogie!
Frank and Heather discuss more panic at the supermarket, a mid-80's episode of The Equalizer, and the demise of broadcast television.
March 31, 2020
Episode Twelve: Hodge Podge Lodge
Frank and Heather talk about their new treadmill, a strange encounter at the grocery store, and Heather shares a family recipe.
March 30, 2020
Episode Eleven: Slow and Steady
Heather and Frank discuss pandemic marriage tips, music from the plague, the Unabomber, and Kirk Cameron.
March 29, 2020
Episode Ten: Fireside Chat
Frank is mistaken for Jane Wiedlin of The Go-Go's , and Heather mistakes herself for F.D.R. 
March 28, 2020
Episode Nine: Peeps and Folks
Heather and Frank talk about the London plague, do a little Trump venting, and a story about an enterprising actor.
March 27, 2020
Episode Eight: Rainy Days and Mondays
Frank and Heather talk about the royal family, which is the best A Star is Born, Paul Williams, and proper quarantine procedures.
March 26, 2020
Episode Seven: Wack-a-teering
Frank and Heather air their grievances with Kirsti Alley, and Heather relives her moment of greatness at Madison Square Garden. Also Idris Elba.
March 25, 2020
Episode Six: Slow and Steady
Frank and Heather discuss Mabel Normand, Harvey Weinstein, and a surprisingly tender encounter with Sam Neil. 
March 24, 2020
Episode Five: A Pint of Pinot Grigio
Frank and Heather discuss Amazon price gouging, Jeremy Piven, and The Love Boat, and call their friend Ed Harcourt in the UK. They also talk to Frank's mom, who was not actually the source of the 1918 flu pandemic.
March 23, 2020
Episode Four: Breaking the Seal
Will life ever be the same as it used to be? Frank has "interesting" ideas about the new handshake.
March 22, 2020
Episode Three: Ten Out of Ten
"We are are doing a great job."
March 21, 2020
Episode Two: Imagine There's No Coronavirus
Heather and Frank Whaley discuss the role of celebrities in the pandemic. Are they just like us? Nope.
March 20, 2020
Episode One: Is This Thing On?
Greetings from underneath a blanket in the downstairs closet. 
March 20, 2020