Domestic Abuse: A Conversation With …

Leaving an abusive relationship is not easy. Abusers repeatedly go to extremes to prevent the victim from leaving. In fact, leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence. One studyin America found in interviews with men who have killed their wives that either threats of separation by their partner or actual separations were most often the precipitating events that lead to the murder.
A victim's reasons for staying with their abusers are extremely complex and, in most cases, are based on the reality that their abuser will follow through with the threats they have used to keep them trapped: the abuser will hurt or kill them, they will hurt or kill the kids, they will win custody of the children, they will harm or kill pets or others, they will ruin their victim financially -- the list goes on. The victim in violent relationships knows their abuser best and fully knows the extent to which they will go to make sure they have and can maintain control over the victim. The victim literally may not be able to safely escape or protect those they love, this episode looks at why leaving is never simple.

The UNITE to End Violence against Women initiative is a multiyear effort to prevent and eliminate violence against women and girls around the world.

The initiative, launched in 2008 under the leadership of the UN Secretary-General, was created to support the civil society led 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence campaign around the world.

Managed by UN Women, UNITE calls on governments, civil society, women’s organizations, young people, the private sector, media, and the UN system to join forces to address the global pandemic of violence against women and girls.

The global theme of this year’s 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence, which runs from 25 November to 10 December 2023, is “UNITE! Invest to prevent violence against women and girls”
Join the global movement with the #NoExcuse campaign calling for urgent investments to prevent violence against women and girls.
Key facts on violence against women and girls
More than 5 women or girls are killed every hour by someone in their family

More than 5 women or girls are killed every hour by someone in their family

Nearly 1 in 5 women aged 20-24 were married before turning 18

In 2021, nearly 1 in 5 women aged 20-24 were married before turning 18

One in three women have been subjected to violence at least once in their lifetime

One in three women have been subjected to violence at least once in their lifetime

‘Parental alienation’ and ‘alienating behaviour’ have been used more and more in the family court, children’s social care, media, and social media. This episode starts a conversation about what it is and why it can be a further extension of abusive behaviour post separation.

‘Honour’-based violence (HBV) is an umbrella term for various forms of abuse perpetrated against a victim because he or she is believed to have done something to bring shame on the family or community. HBV can take many forms, from emotional, financial and sexual abuse through to murder. Victims of HBV are usually women and girls, whilst perpetrators typically belong to the victim’s family and/or community.

Domestic violence affects everyone in the family, including children. Although children may not be the direct targets of violence in their home, the effect of witnessing violence can have a profoundly harmful impact on their lives. In fact, research indicates that children exposed to violence in their home often suffer severe emotional and developmental difficulties not unlike those of children who are victims of abuse or neglect themselves.
When children witness abuse, over time they may begin to believe that violence at home is normal. Studies indicate that they may display more anxiety, depression, anger, and self-esteem problems than children who have not witnessed violence at home. They may also learn to avoid talking about their own feelings, blame themselves for the abuse or have physical symptoms of illness as a result of stress. Witnessing abuse can make children feel lonely and isolated from their friends and, in the worst case scenario, lead them to act out the violence they have observed. This episode we look at the impact that abuse has on children #familyviolence #domesticabuse #children

Trauma leads to deleterious effects on individuals and families causing many to seek treatment from social work practitioners across systems of care. Trauma comes in all forms, from community violence to domestic violence, including physical and sexual abuse of children and violence among intimate partners that leaves its victims devastatingly impacted it’s crucial we are trauma-informed this episode explains what we mean by that term and how to put in practise

A former nurse who was abused by her ex husband for almost a decade thought that the one thing he could not take was her career until a violent act left her disabled and unable to continue with a career she loved, listen to how she is now using the one thing he did not take, her voice and how’s she using it to influence policy and empower other victims.

Our survivor stories are as unique as the people who tell them. This week you will meet Alice from a childhood of chaos, dysfunction and trauma to a 15 year coercive controlling relationship to a journey of healing and recovery Alice will talk about that journey and how she’s using her voice to influence change. #trauma #healing #selfdiscovery #alcohol #coercivecontrol #domesticabuse

Our survivor stories are as unique as the people who tell them. This week you will meet Natalia who has come a long way since she was brave enough to leave her abusive ex-partner forever. She’s now on a mission to help and support other domestic abuse victims and survivors. Here, Natalia shares her story which contains references to domestic and sexual abuse.

⛔️TRIGGER WARNING ⛔️Reproductive coercion (also called coerced reproduction, reproductive control or reproductive abuse) is a collection of behaviors that interfere with decision-making related to reproductive health. These behaviors are meant to maintain power and control related to reproductive health by a current, former, or hopeful intimate or romantic partner, but they can also be perpetrated by parents or in-laws. Coercive behaviors infringe on individuals' reproductive rights and reduce their reproductive autonomy.

There are three forms of reproductive coercion, including pregnancy coercion, birth control sabotage, and controlling the outcome of a pregnancy.

Reproductive coercion and intimate partner violence are strongly correlated; however, reproductive coercion can occur in relationships in which physical and sexual violence are not reported. Reproductive coercion and unintended pregnancy are strongly associated, and this association is stronger in individuals who have experienced intimate partner violence. While research remains fragmentary, women in abusive relationships are at higher risk of reproductive coercion and unintended pregnancies. Reproductive coercion is considered a serious public health issue, so come and explore this not often spoken about or understood topic.

In present-day across the globe , thousands of women have to cope every day with acts of physical, sexual or psychological violence, even in their own homes. "It starts with screams and must never end in silence". Preventing domestic violence against women concerns us all, men and women alike, and we all have a duty to break the silence surrounding it and bringing down barriers that prevent speaking about it come join me in understanding some of these reasons

East Surrey Domestic Abuse Services (ESDAS) is an independent charity who work across the East of Surrey to ensure that survivors of domestic abuse, aged 16 and over, are safe and to build a future where domestic abuse is not tolerated.
ESDAS outreach services offer an independent, confidential, listening service to anyone affected by domestic abuse. They are a free impartial services giving practical help and emotional support, as well as providing information on a wide range of issues including housing, benefits, safety planning and the needs of children affected by domestic abuse. They can assist with accessing refuge accommodation if you need to leave your home to keep yourself safe. ESDAS outreach services provide support to any victim of domestic abuse regardless of age, gender, sexuality or race. Come and join in the conversation with the service manager.

An estimated 20,000 strangulations a year are reported to women’s charities. “The vast majority are a way of exerting power, fear and control – but not fatal,” The Femicide Census has consistently found that strangulation is the second most common method after stabbing that men use to kill women. Non-fatal strangulation was made a specific offence as part of the government’s landmark Domestic Abuse Act. The practice typically involves a perpetrator strangling or intentionally affecting their victim’s ability to breathe in an attempt to control or intimidate them.

It followed concerns that perpetrators were avoiding punishment as the act can often leave no visible injury, making it harder to prosecute under existing offences such as Actual Bodily Harm (ABH). Studies have shown that victims are seven times more likely to be murdered by their partner if there had been non-fatal strangulation beforehand. In this episode join me and Sara where we will be discussing strangulation and what to look for if someone presents to a healthcare setting

It has been estimated that nearly half a million victims and survivors of domestic abuse seek assistance from medical professionals every year. Guidance for health professionals says that “domestic violence and abuse is so prevalent in our society that NHS and other provider staff will be in contact with adult and child victims (and perpetrators) across the full range of health services.”The introduction of health-based Independent Domestic Violence Advisers (IDVAs) following the Pathfinder Project means support services are increasingly provided in a healthcare setting, such as a hospital. Come listen to helpful v unhelpful responses to disclosures of abuse specifically for healthcare professionals. As usual feel free to leave your comments and questions

Domestic violence involves a range of behaviors which can include physical and sexual violence; using coercion and threats; using intimidation; using emotional abuse, using isolation; minimizing, denying and blaming; using children; using male privilege; and using economic abuse. These forms of abuse do not occur in isolation from each other, but rather occur simultaneously.

The Power and Control model of Domestic Violence identifies power and control as the goal of all of these tactics of abuse because victims’ experiences consistently indicate that the behavior of their partners is not random or arbitrary, but purposeful and systematic. The goal of abusers’ behavior is to exert control over their partners. This goal reflects their belief that they have a right and entitlement to control their intimate partners. The various forms of abuse, the different behaviors, are used a tactics of control. Let’s explore these tactics in this week’s episode
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We also tend to think of abuse as physical, yet it also takes mental and emotional forms. Abuse of any kind has to do with many factors including the mental instability of the abuser. This episode we will explore what the terminology trauma bonding, gaslighting, love bombing and withholding and stonewalling means in a jargon free, easy to understand way.

1 in 6 older people are victims of abuse, that equates to 16% of our mothers, fathers, uncles, aunties, grannies, grandads, friends and neighbours.
So come and join me in this week’s conversation with a member of the adult safeguarding team .